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Tuck in the Mud -*- Copyright 1998 by Ellen Hayes.
Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual
persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when
used for satirical purposes.
This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and
possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials
containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading
this. I am not responsible.
Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it
in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally
allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish,
state, and country.
All rights reserved. See the bottom for distribution rights.
Tuck in the Mud
***
06:31 12 Mar
My alarm went off, and I shot up and turned it off before I
realized that I didn't have to get up for a while.
*On second thought, I can still get a shower in if I hurry.* The
main thing was to get in ahead of Brian. And, oh, God, I felt awful,
now that I thought about it.
***
07:25 12 Mar
I felt practically leisurely this morning as I sat down with a book
and a large glass of water in the front room so I could look out the
window. Two Tylenol were already doing me good.
Brian came pounding down the stairs and zoomed out the door,
slamming it as he went through. I don't think he even knew I was there.
"Heheh, late for the bus again?" I said to myself as I watched him
running down the street.
***
07:32 12 Mar
Someone honked outside, and when I looked, it was Jack, or at least
it was his Toyota. I grabbed all my stuff, and hiked outside, closing
the door a lot quieter than Brian had managed it.
"Hey," Jack said as I opened the car door.
"Hey, ready for breakfast? I'm kind of hungry."
"Yeah," he nodded. Then he looked at me again. "Are, uh, do you
need to go somewhere and change or something?"
"No, I was-"
"I thought you were-"
"Wait, just drive where I tell you, okay?" At his puzzled look, I
added, "You'll see."
***
07:45 12 Mar
I did the finishing strokes with the hairbrush, then dropped it in
my purse. "Okay, where did you want to go for breakfast?"
When he didn't answer, I looked at him. Jack was staring at me
like I'd changed into something a lot more remarkable. He finally
asked, "How long did it take you to get this good?"
"Good at what?" I grinned when he got that look on his face.
"Just kidding! About six months. I got tired of changing in the back
seat with a bunch of girls watching me, so it was sort of self defense."
***
07:47 12 Mar
"Trust me," I told him, "you have half a dozen girls bitching at
you about the right way to do it, and your girlfriend does makeup for
money, you get good at it real quick."
"She's a cosmetologist?"
"A what?"
***
07:51 12 Mar
"Is that your real voice?"
"What? No, this is my real voice," I said in my English accent.
He shook his head. "I know girls that'd kill for that voice..." he
mused.
I shrugged. "You should hear Kim's voice, she's in choir. You met
her, she was the one in the pink bustier thing, with the, uh-"
"All the charms?"
I laughed. "Oh, you remember her, huh? Do you remember what color
her eyes were?"
He thought about it for a second. "Hazel. Right?"
He remembered. I was astonished. It had taken me a few tries to
remember what her name was, much less what color her eyes was.
On the other hand, seeing all of them naked had sort of tamed that.
Funny thing, that. Well, almost naked.
***
07:54 12 Mar
"Ready?"
I took a breath, and nodded, so we got out of the car and started
walking through the parking lot. I had to slide back into Lisa's bomber
jacket as I went, since I'd slid out of it when I was changing. I
wasn't going to get warm by the time I got inside, so I just gritted my
teeth and tried to hurry.
The place he'd taken me, without asking, was a little diner place
I'd seen once in a while, but never stopped at. It looked really
working class, and there were a lot of trucks out front - the kind with
the cargo racks and the ladders and tools and stuff on them.
"You sure this place is okay?" I asked Jack.
"Yeah, why wouldn't- oh. No, no problem, not with you," he told
me.
"What?"
"Just act natural, and everybody'll just think we're having
breakfast before we go to work. Which happens to be true, come to think
of it," he grinned at me. His grin was like influenza - horribly
infectious.
***
08:09 12 Mar
"So you never told me what you do for a living," I mentioned just
before I had another bite of waffle.
"Nope," he agreed.
Pause. Jack chowed down.
I sighed. "So what do you do for a living, Jack?"
"Ah. Well. I work over at Home Depot, kind of doin' whatever."
That might explain the muscles.
"Like stocking and moving lumber and stuff?" He nodded. "Oh."
"It's pretty boring."
"Pay good?"
He splashed some more steak sauce on his eggs. "Yeah, s'okay.
It's a gig, you know?"
"The inevitable day job that you don't quit?" I grinned at him.
He grinned back. "You must've heard about it."
***
08:48 12 Mar
As we walked out the door, he kind of glanced at me from the side.
"Well, the reason I asked about your voice, I just wondered... how
old are you?"
"Almost sixteen."
"And your voice hasn't broken yet." He said it like a statement of
fact.
"Nooo," I groaned. "Dad keeps saying he didn't start really
hitting puberty until late, so I shouldn't worry, but..." I trailed off
in disgust.
"Can you sing?"
"What?"
***
08:51 12 Mar
"I can't sing on command!" I complained desperately.
He made a face. "Well, if you ever figure out how, I'd love to
hear you sing. You know, kids like you were in demand back when choirs
were all the rage."
"Huh?"
"Nothing," he sighed.
***
08:58 12 Mar
We pulled up in front of the Parker house. "You got a ride home?"
Jack asked me as I reached around for my stuff.
"Um, yeah, thanks."
"Well, call me again sometime, okay?" I looked back at him, and he
was giving me the dumbest look. I laughed.
"I will, okay?"
"Okay, you promised," he warned. Then he said, "Hey, good luck
today, okay?"
I rubbed my forehead. "Thanks, I'll need it." I looked back at
him. "You too, okay? Don't get squished or anything." He shook his
head slowly and deliberately, like he was certain he wouldn't. "Okay, I
gotta get in, so I'll call you later, I promise." With that, I got out
of the car and walked up the sidewalk to the door.
After I knocked, I turned around, and he was still waiting, like
Debbie had yesterday morning. I waved to him, just as the door opened.
"Hi!" I said as I turned around.
"Good morning, Valerie...." She looked outside, over my shoulder,
and waved at Jack herself. He drove off, too late to save me from some
horrible embarrassment.
I felt compelled to explain as she led me inside. "I didn't have a
ride this morning, so he offered to take me before he went to work..."
***
09:03 12 Mar
"I just have a lot to do before I can go back to work," she
explained as she fed Stella the old fashioned way. I wasn't looking, as
I was busy fixing breakfast for her and Ricky. And I was trying not to
look.
"So what time do you think you'll be back today?" I asked as I
poured the pancake batter she'd made onto the griddle. It hissed and
bubbled a little, just like it should.
"Hopefully before two," she said, "but you never know how these
things go. Do you have a ride home?"
"Yeah, a friend of mine said he'll be hanging around the house
today, so I'll call him whenever I get off, I guess."
"Jack?" she teased.
I blushed, again. "No, Mike's an old friend of mine, from grade
school. We're just friends." Oh, God, how many times had I heard that
line in movies? "Um, anyway, he said he could pick me up today if I
needed it."
"Well," she changed the subject, "if you need a ride, I could take
you home, if you don't mind taking the kids too."
A vision of Patrick asking me, "What happened to your boobies?" as
I changed gave me the clue that this would be a bad idea. Really Bad.
So I said, "Oh, no, it's no problem, he'll be here. And there's a
couple of other people I could call if I needed to."
***
09:47 12 Mar
"Valerie, I know we're paying you, but I wanted to thank you
again," said Mrs. Parker gratefully. "You have been such a help this
week, I don't know what I would have done without you."
I shrugged, a little amazed. "It's not that big a deal, ma'am, I
mean, this isn't too different from what I do at home." Especially the
dishes part.
She was shaking her head. "Well, even so, you're doing it HERE,
and helping me out, and I really appreciate it."
"Um... you're welcome," seemed to be appropriate.
There was a thud from the front room, and we both reflexively
turned and started towards the sound. "I'll get it," Mrs. Parker told
me, and sighed as she went towards the living room.
I went back to the dishes, but I sort of had half an ear listening,
so I wasn't too surprised to hear an angry, "Patrick!" I snickered.
*Give me the dishes, any day,* I thought.
***
10:04 12 Mar
"Be good, sweetie," Mrs. Parker told Ricky, which I had a feeling
wouldn't have any effect. She gave him a hug and a kiss, which he
endured stoically, and then turned to me. "If you think you've got
everything..." I nodded. "Well, I'll be back in a few hours."
"Bye Mom," said Ricky, and waved. I grabbed Stella's arm and waved
it as Mrs. Parker as she went out the door and shut it.
Pause.
"So?" asked Ricky.
"Um." I finally shrugged. "What do you want to do?"
***
10:08 12 Mar
I sighed as I counted out the starting money for Monopoly. I made
a bet with myself, that we wouldn't finish the game before he got bored
with it.
Stella stared at her hand like it had some great meaning, or she'd
never seen it before.
***
10:57 12 Mar
We'd been playing steadily, and had gotten to the point where all
the property was bought, and we were slowly wearing each other down.
"I'm bored!" Ricky finally complained when I passed Go again.
*Knew it,* I thought with glee. "Okay, then help me put everything
back up and we'll do something else, okay?"
"Wait, if you put everything else up I'll get something else," he
bargained.
He must've thought I was one of those dumb babysitters. "Nope. We
put this away, and then we'll find something else to do." Emphasis on
the "we".
He sighed deeply, like I was being unreasonable again. Gosh, I had
no idea his life was so hard, poor kid.
***
10:59 12 Mar
"I wish I could go outside," he whined.
"It's raining again, and it's cold. It's horrible outside."
"I don't care!"
"Well, I care. Your mom would get real mad at me if you froze to
death outside."
"That can't happen," he scoffed.
***
11:04 12 Mar
"Can I watch Power Rangers?"
I sighed. Power Rangers ranked right above Barney on my list of
children's things to avoid. On the other hand, it was better than
freezing my butt off watching him freeze his butt off in the rain.
Maybe.
***
12:06 12 Mar
"Valerie?"
"Huh?" I pulled myself out of history.
"When are you gonna fix lunch? I'm hungry."
"Um," I looked at my watch. "I guess now would be okay."
"Cooooool!" he shrieked as he levitated up and ran for the kitchen.
I sighed, and grabbed Stella off the couch and followed him. "I
suppose you're hungry, too, huh?" I asked her. She had a look I was
beginning to recognize.
***
12:13 12 Mar
Stella was strapped into her little seat, Ricky was bouncing all
over the place, and I was taking inventory of the pantry and
refrigerator, trying to figure out what I could fix before Ricky starved
to death.
"Um. Hmm." I dug the printout of my pocket, and flipped through
it to see if he had any dietary things I'd forgotten. Eventually, the
answer was no. Oh, good. "Ricky?" He paused in flying air-to-ground
missions against the table. "Have you ever had a chili pie?" I asked
him. I would have said a Frito pie, but I was gonna have to improvise.
"A what?" He sounded skeptical.
***
12:23 12 Mar
He was chowing down on it like he'd never objected to it in the
first place. I supposed I should have felt guilty about feeding him
junk food, but it was organic chili stuff and low-fat nacho chips, so he
was eating better than I'd tell him.
Stella was eating whatever they made formula out of, and she seemed
happy with it. But she usually was.
***
12:41 12 Mar
"Ricky, why don't you go in and finish watching Power Rangers while
I clean up?"
I didn't have to suggest it twice. I wondered if I ever had that
much energy when I was his age. "Does he tire you out too?" I asked
Stella. She blinked sleepily. "I guess he does. Well, come over here
and help me wash dishes, huh?"
***
14:28 12 Mar
I could see why they used to call television the electric
babysitter, because it was keeping Ricky almost nailed to one place.
Stella wasn't going anywhere, either, though I wished I didn't have to
keep changing her. Bleah. On the other hand, I was actually getting
some of my homework done, at six dollars an hour. Wheee.
On the gripping hand, Mrs. Parker was late. This was Not So Good.
***
14:56 12 Mar
"Valerie?"
"Huh?" I looked up at Ricky.
"Could you fix me a snack or something? Mom always fixes me a
snack at three or when I get home from school, which is almost three
unless I go play...." He trailed off, and after a few seconds turned
back to the television.
I waited a little longer, to see if anything else was going to come
out, but nothing did. So I got up to fix his royal self a snack. And
Stella was getting that look again.
***
14:58 12 Mar
The phone rang, and I let it go once before I remembered I was
supposed to pick up the phone, but before I could take more than a step,
Ricky screamed, "I GOT IT!" from the front room. I shrugged, and took a
step back, and was fixing butter and jelly and crackers when Ricky came
dashing in to the kitchen. "Val, can you talk to Mom for a second,
please?"
*What the...* I thought, but I went and picked up the kitchen
phone. "Hello?"
"Valerie? This is Beth Parker. Ricky paged me," *Oh you little
brat,* I thought to myself, "and when I called he said he wanted to go
over to a friend's house?"
"Uh, this is the first I'VE heard about it, ma'am," I told her.
She sighed loud enough to hear. "I thought as much. Anyway, he
did ask, and if you could walk him over, I said it would be alright, if
and only if it's not raining. Oh, and you might want to call first..."
She made faint digging noises and then read off a number that I
scribbled down. "That's the Harvey's, and Ricky is best friends with
Adam. This week," she smiled, I could hear it.
***
15:06 12 Mar
Mrs. Harvey was home, and so was Adam, and worse luck, she said it
was okay. I sighed, and looked down at Ricky, who was looking back up.
A glance out the back window told me it wasn't raining any more either.
Then I looked back down. He'd eaten everything I'd fixed already.
***
15:08 12 Mar
Oh, God, Stella was a pain, even though everything fit onto the
stroller. I mean, it wasn't so much her, it was everything else I had
to take with us just in case. But I just did not feel at all
comfortable leaving her at the house.
***
15:14 12 Mar
Ricky didn't wait the last four houses, he just took off running.
I debated trying to catch him, sighed, and decided against it.
When I made it to the right house, I just pushed the stroller up
the walk and through the front door. "Hello?"
"Oh, hi," replied a woman who walked out of some door or another.
"I'm Mrs. Harvey," she said, which was sort of obvious.
***
15:19 12 Mar
Back to the house with Stella. I sighed in relief. Maybe I could
get some homework done.
***
16:04 12 Mar
I looked up and checked the clock, then checked my watch just to
make sure. No Mrs. Parker. I sighed again, and decided I'd better call
Mike to warn him.
***
16:05 12 Mar
"Mike?"
"Hey, Tuck, what's up?"
"Still sitting, man." I sighed, and tried to find a more
comfortable position to hold Stella, a bottle, and a phone. "I hope
she's not dead."
"If she is, call Debbie, she's gotta have planned for that
contingency," he half joked.
"Yeah." I sighed again. "Anyway, whenever I get out of here, can
you pick me up?"
"Yeah, just tell me where it is- wait, let me get something to
write on." I shifted Stella again.
***
16:12 12 Mar
The phone rang, and this time I didn't wait to get up and answer
it. "Hello, Parker residence, may I help you?"
"Valerie?" asked Mrs. Parker. "I am so sorry this is taking so
long... are you doing alright?"
"Yes ma'am, we're doing fine, as far as I know. Um, Ricky's still
over playing with Adam. Would you like to say hello to Stella?"
She chuckled. "No, I don't think that's necessary, but thank you.
Are you able to stay on a little longer?"
"Um, sure," I said, "as long as you need me, I, it'd just be
easiest if maybe you could give me like half an hour warning so I could
call my ride home?" I hoped I wasn't asking too much.
"Oh, if I can remember," she sighed. "It's been really frantic
here since I left. I think I can, though. HOPEFULLY," she emphasized,
"it won't be more than an hour more, and maybe a little less."
I shrugged. "That's alright with me, ma'am, Stella's helping me
with my homework." She laughed this time, like she really meant it.
***
16:41 12 Mar
Someone tried the front doorknob, doubling my heart rate before I
figured it was Ricky. I dragged myself up as he started to knock, a
lot. "Come on!" I heard him whining, "Open the door!"
"I'm coming," I mumbled to myself as I unlocked it. "Did you
AAAAaaaah! What happened to you?!" I shrieked at the mud covered boy
shape in front of me.
He sniffed and rubbed a dirty arm across his dirty nose. "I, I was
playing with a dog on the way home, just a little, and then I was
chasing him, and I fell in a quicksand."
The phone rang. It had to be Mrs. Parker calling. Oh God. She
was gonna kill me. Unless I got him cleaned up before she got home.
"Ricky, you stay RIGHT THERE," I emphasized, glaring at him, as the
phone rang. I shut the door and ran for the phone, getting it in three
and a half. "Hello?"
"Valerie? It's me, Beth Parker, I was just calling to say I'll be
there in about half an hour, alright?"
Oh shit. "Okay, ma'am, thanks."
"Is everything all right?"
"Um, yeah," I lied, "just, uh, I gotta change Stella again."
"Okay, well, I'll be there shortly."
"Okay." We said bye and she hung up. I raced back to the front
door where Ricky was whimpering to himself like he'd figured out the
shittake we were both gonna be in. "Ricky?" He looked up. "You need
to get clean before your mom gets home in half an hour. We can do this
two ways. We can do it like yesterday, or you can be a big guy and help
me out. Which one is it gonna be?" I asked, ready to chase his little
butt down and body check him if I had to.
He looked at me with these big pathetic eyes and sniffed, "I'll
help," then he started to cry, "I didn't mean to, I was just playing,
an', an'..." And then he just concentrated on crying.
"Oh, God... just stay there a little bit longer, okay, and let me
get something on." This was gonna be too muddy a job for what I was
wearing. "Wait, on second thought, go around to the back door, okay?"
He sniffed, and nodded, and didn't go anywhere. "Do you hate me?"
Oh, God. I kneeled down, so I could look him in the face. "No,
Ricky, I don't hate you, I promise. We just have to get you clean
before your mom gets home. Now hurry to the back door, okay?"
He nodded, and started trudging off.
I shut the door, locked it for a few extra seconds of time, and ran
to the phone and dialed Mike. "Mike?"
"Yeah?" What's-"
"No time to talk, pick me up in half an hour, okay? Minor crisis
here, I gotta go, okay?"
"Okay." He hung up. Mike was a veteran of minor crises and didn't
waste time on silly stuff. Like explanations.
***
16:45 12 Mar
Ricky was at the back door when I opened it, wearing a T shirt and
my baggies over my skirt. I was also holding a big towel. "Okay,
Ricky, we gotta do it this way, okay? No arguing." He just nodded.
"Okay, take off your shoes and socks, and hurry." He sat down and
started doing it, way too slow for me. I fought the urge to scream at
him. He finally finished, about half an hour later. "Okay, great, now
come here."
"What are you gonna-" he started to ask, but I grabbed him up in
the towel and started to carry him inside. Jesus, the little brat was
HEAVY.
"Come on," I huffed, "we gotta get you upstairs and in the bathroom
quick..."
***
16:47 12 Mar
I almost dropped him on the floor, but he was cunning enough not to
complain right now. I sagged against the doorframe, trying to catch my
breath. I hadn't known I had it in me. "Come on," I puffed, "take,
your clothes, off."
He started to protest, so I rode over him, "I have to get all this
in the washing machine as quick as I can, okay? DON'T argue." I
staggered over and started the bathwater running. "Come on, let's go."
I took another look at him. "You need to wash your hair, too."
"Whhyyyyyyyy?"
I glared at him like Mom used to do to me. "Because," I said
slowly and carefully, "you have mud in your hair."
It worked. He just sniffled some more, then started taking his
clothes off.
***
16:51 12 Mar
One naked boy in the bathtub; one set of ridiculously dirty
clothes, including socks snagged off the back porch, plus one towel
expended in the line of duty, in the washing machine. I slammed the
lid, then had to haul it back open to add detergent. *Lucky it's got a
pre-wash cycle,* I thought as I turned it on.
And one baby to haul around, like I didn't have enough problems
already.
***
16:54 12 Mar
Ricky was washing his hair like he meant it, so I shut the bathroom
door quietly and went and grabbed some more of his clothes to toss in
the washer for camouflage. Stella seemed to be enjoying the
festivities, but I think she was the only one.
***
16:59 12 Mar
Oh, God, this was taking too long. "Ricky?" I called as I opened
the bathroom door again. "Are you almost done?"
"Uhuh," he mumbled as he soaped his arms and chest. Oh, God, this
was taking too long. And I was gonna have to wipe down the bathroom
floor, too. Oh, God.
***
17:04 12 Mar
I had just about finished wiping the floor off when he got done.
"Oh, great," I said. "Need a towel?" I didn't wait for him to say yes
before I got one out of the linen closet. "Come on, hurry up and I'll
dry you off, okay?"
The silly lad actually pulled the plug on the bathtub and got out.
So I went after him. "Owuwuwuwuw!" he complained as I speed-dried him.
"Wuwuwuwuwuw," Stella echoed back at him. She was smiling too, the
little stinker.
***
17:08 12 Mar
I tossed the towels in the hamper as I went back downstairs to
check on the clothes. I hoped she wouldn't mind that he took a bath...
*Who am I kidding? She'll either be so pleased that he took one, or
figure something went wrong and he had to take one. Either way...*
As I swung around the banister post, the lock clicked, and even
though everything was about as covered up as it was going to get, I
still got anxious. Well, more anxious. At least I'd changed out of my
guy clothes again, so I looked like I did when she left.
"Oh, hi," I said when Mrs. Parker came in. "Did everything go well
today?"
"Pretty well," she said as she shut the door behind her. "How was
the home front?"
"Uh, okay," I tried to say naturally. I don't think it worked too
well, because she turned the Evil Eye of Parental Inquiry on me. I held
Stella out and said, "She missed her mommy while she was gone, didn't
you Stella?"
She asked, "Where's Ricky?" like she already knew she wasn't going
to like the answer.
Darn, I HATED it when they figured out what was wrong the first
guess.
***
17:09 12 Mar
Ricky looked innocently at his mom. "What?" he asked. She glared
at me, which I didn't think was fair, since I wasn't the one that had
gone playing chase with the dog in the first place.
***
17:12 12 Mar
"And then?"
"And then I wiped up the bathroom floor with a sponge," I told Mrs.
Parker. "Ricky was good, he didn't argue about taking a bath today," I
lied a little. It couldn't hurt at this point.
***
17:16 12 Mar
She shook her head and sighed. Then she smiled at me. "Well, you
did pretty well," she told me.
"What?" sort of flopped out of my mouth.
She laughed. "Little boys do things like that. I'm just surprised
at how well you're handling everything."
"You are?" I was digging myself in really deep today, but I
couldn't seem to help myself.
She gave me one of those grins, like she was telling me to stop
being so modest. As if I was. "Valerie," she said, almost seriously,
"babysitting... I used to babysit in high school, and part of what makes
a good babysitter is how well she, or he," which addition gave me a
little twitch, "handles the crises. They come up, and there's not much
you can do about stopping them. It's how well you handle them."
Like it was some kind of emphasis, the doorbell rang.
Pause.
It rang again. "That's probably my ride," I explained, and got up
and got the door. It was Mike. He was going to say something, but I
rode over him, "Be right out, okay?" And slammed the door in his face.
***
17:18 12 Mar
"Well, thank you so much, Valerie, I've really appreciated your
help today. Again," Mrs. Parker told me as she handed me the check.
"Oh, um, it's, I like it here," I told her as I took it and stuffed
it into my purse. "Um, if you ever need me again, just call and let
Debbie know, okay? She handles all the scheduling," I said as she
started nodding.
"Are you coming back tomorrow?" Ricky asked from somewhere below my
line of sight.
"Um," I glanced up at Mrs. Parker as I said this, "I don't think
so, Ricky, but I might see you again whenever your parents need a
babysitter." She nodded. Mike made a sick face at me, where Mrs.
Parker couldn't see it. I ignored him.
"Can I have a hug?" Ricky asked unexpectedly. I thought about it
for a second, then decided why not? So I bent down and gave him a big
hug.
The little wretch kissed me on the cheek. So I kissed him back,
leaving a reddish lip mark. He made an irritated noise and tried to
wipe it off his face. Just like I used to when I was seven. I almost
laughed.
***
17:19 12 Mar
"I think he's in love," Mike told me as we walked down the sidewalk
towards the car. And snickered.
"He is not! Jesus, he's just a little kid, and I kept him from
getting in like beaucoup trouble with his mom, more than once this week,
and..." I slid through the back door on the seat, because George was in
the front seat, and yelled out, "so is it any wonder the little guy's
grateful?"
I sat back in the seat and looked at Book, who was in the other
back seat, looking at me.
George had twisted around in the front seat, and he was looking at
me too. And grinning.
Mike got into the car, and slammed the door, as we were all looking
at each other.
*Mindfuck,* I thought all of a sudden.
So I said, in the most normal and cheerful voice I could fake right
then, "Oh, hi, you must be Mike's friends."
Now everyone was looking at me for one long, long second.
Then Mike said, "Oh, yeah, manners. Um, Valerie, this is George,
my old bud from grade school," so George stuck out his hand and I shook it
gently.
"Hey," said George.
Mike continued, "And this is Book-man, he hangs with us when we let
him 'cause he plays basketball."
"Oh, hi!" I smiled at Book. "I'm Valerie." He blinked.
I stuck out my hand.
He gingerly stuck his out, like I was going to explode or
something, and so I grabbed his and shook it a little.
"Val lives in my neighborhood, and we do each other favors," Mike
explained as he tried to get the Beast to crank over enough to achieve
either ignition or final mechanical Nirvana. Either one was acceptable,
according to Mike.
"So," asked George, "how was the babysitting?"
"Oh, God," I exclaimed as I tried to imitate Sabrina. "Well, first
off..."
***
17:21 12 Mar
We'd lasted almost until the end of the block, with me doing my
best to imitate Sabrina talking about babysitting - she could sound like
such a bubblehead when she wanted to - and Mike and George chiming in
with supporting comments and questions.
"HOLDIT!" Book yelled, scaring all of us so bad that Mike jammed on
the brakes and slammed us all into other parts of the car. I almost ate
some front seat, myself. "Tucker, what the FUCK are you doing dressed
like that?"
When I peeled myself off the seat, I said as calmly as I could
manage, "Well, babysitting, duh! Haven't you been listening?"
We stared at each other for a long long time. Then he got the
lightbulb of connection. "THAT'S WHAT YOU WOULDN'T TELL ME ABOUT!" he
shrieked.
***
17:56 12 Mar
"So when you-"
"Yeah, Travis, he's got the hots for me or something, and he
doesn't know, so when you said you saw him there in the mall, I, uh...
Well, panic sounded like the best option at that point."
Mike and George, having heard most of the gory details before, were
concentrating on eating and talking about Daggerfall.
"So who's that Rachel chick?" Book asked.
I laughed. "My alternate girlfr-oof," I tried to say, but Mike
jammed an elbow in my ribs without even slowing down. "Ow. She's this
girl I met on one of Debbie's makeup deals. She's cool, except she's
kind of strange, but then who isn't?" I helped myself to a few of
Book's fries.
Book scratched where he used to have hair, before he saved it all
off. Until he noticed I was chowing down on his food. He slapped my
hand. "Get outta that."
"Jeez, selfish butthead," I complained.
***
18:04 12 Mar
Book had gone to the men's room, so I asked Mike, "So what's the
damn deal?"
"What, with Book?"
"Yes with Book!"
"Well, there we were, cruising along, and there he was, waiting for
a bus, and then it just sort of happened." He shrugged.
"Well, I mean, didn't you think before you picked him up?"
He gave me the eye. "I tthhoouugghhtt," he dragged the word out,
"that you wouldn't be dumb enough to babysit in girl clothes." He
looked down at me. "I guess I was wrong."
"Well, why didn't you warn me before we got to the car?"
"'Cause I forgot," he told me defiantly. George choked when he
heard that, but he had to pound his own back because nobody could reach
him. I just held a napkin in front of my face as a shield until it was
over.
"You forgot?!"
He shrugged. "Shit, I have no idea who you're gonna be from one
day to the next, so I don't worry about it. And George isn't a
problem," George gave Mike a look which Mike pretended wasn't there,
"and Book's cool too, so I just didn't think about him not knowing. I
mean, hell, it seems like everyone else does."
"What do you mean?" This was not something I really wanted to
hear. I had visions of articles in the school paper...
"Well, there's us, there's Debbie and all her confederates, there's
Rachel... not to mention the guys you keep finding." He shrugged, and
had some more burger. "I dunno," he mumbled through it.
I saw Book walking back to the table, so I smiled at him. He
smiled back sickly, like he'd just spent a while puking. I hoped not.
***
18:14 12 Mar
"Uh, Val," said Mike in this sort of hesitant tone, like I wasn't
gonna like what he said next. "I gotta drop off some stuff at this
place before six thirty..."
"Like where?"
***
18:25 12 Mar
I was debating throwing up all over Mike, since it was his fault I
felt so bad - he did NOT drive smoothly when he was in a hurry - when he
pulled into a parking lot and killed the engine. I knew he was going to
need help, like he always did when he was taking his folks' clothes to
the cleaners, so without thinking too much I popped out myself and
grabbed a laundry basket from the trunk. "Oh, thanks," Mike grunted as
we staggered towards the door. "Dad's got some kind of church supper
thing going on this week, so he's got to have everything before
Thursday, and why he didn't do any of this before now, I dunno, but he
didn't..."
Some guy inside opened and held the door for us as we stumbled in,
just about in time.
***
18:31 12 Mar
"So anyway, whatcha wanna do next," I asked Mike as they locked the
door behind us.
"Dunno," said Mike, and thought about it as we walked back to the
car. "I was thinking," he finally said, "there's supposed to be this
cool place over by Westcross Mall..."
We got into the car again, and I realized that Book was giving me
the eye again. "What?"
***
18:35 12 Mar
Finally, I snorted, and threw up my hands in disgust. "Fine!
Whatever you guys wanna do, okay?"
Book finally voiced, "You mean, you'd go out in public like that?"
"We're IN public, you dumbass black body," which was a joke from
chemistry class, about black body radiators and spectrographs and so on.
We never did heat him up to see what his emission spectrum was, because
it would kill him, but the idea had crossed my mind more than once when
some rude football player had crossed my path. Just heat the pinhead to
twelve hundred degrees and-
"No way!" Book disputed.
"Bet me," I dared him.
***
19:11 12 Mar
This was not a bet I really wanted to take, but I was sort of
stuck, having issued the challenge. Of course, it wasn't the first
time, either. It was getting easier as time went on. So we were off to
Westcross Mall. Actually, we were there already. I sat in the car as
the other guys got out, and waited.
Finally, Mike stuck his head back in and asked, "What, you want us
to open the door for you?"
I just gave him a look, one which involved batting my eyelashes at
him.
He snorted and slammed his door, but George did the honors, and I
slid out and stood up. George bowed and pointed towards the mall doors.
"Would mademoiselle care to accompany us on a post-prandial cons-tit-
tutional?" he said in this horribly fake French accent.
"Mademoiselle would," I said, and grabbed his arm. He flinched, I
could feel it, but he didn't scream.
***
19:14 12 Mar
Having made my point, whatever it was, I dropped George's arm
before we went inside. Mike held the first door open for us, so I got
the second one. Book was looking freaked, and George waggled his tongue
at me like he did at girls when he had given up on trying to get a date.
I stuck my own tongue out, and made lewd suggestions with it.
"Would you quit it!" complained Mike, so I stopped, and caught up
with him.
"So, what we douyEEEE!" I squealed as I felt a very hearty pinch
bruise my rear end. I tried to do three things at one time, but failed
all of them and fell down, almost flat on my face.
When I rolled over, George was laughing his ass off while the other
two were watching me. *That damned-* I thought as I scrambled up again.
"George you bastard!" He looked up just in time for me to backhand his
face. He rocked back, but when he came forwards again he didn't look
pleased at all.
I was debating fight or flight when I noticed his eyes go off me
and over my shoulder. "Hey, lady, this geek bothering you?" asked some
guy behind me. I turned around, and it wasn't one guy, it was three,
and they looked BIG. And MEAN.
They didn't wait for me to answer, they just walked past towards
George. I got the impression, all of a sudden, that they were going to
beat the hell out of him. "Wait!" I shrieked as I ran around them and
got between them and George, who had been backing up steadily.
They stopped, even George, and looked at me. *Oh, shit. What do
I-* I thought, but then instinct took over. "We were just messing
around, it's okay, I, uh, he, he's my boyfriend."
There were days I hated my mouth.
We all stood like that, in silence, for what seemed like a very
very long time, before one of the goons asked me, in this real skeptical
tone of voice, like he didn't believe me. "Your boyfriend?"
I nodded spastically.
"You're dating this geek?" asked another one, like he couldn't
believe that geeks could date at all.
"Uh, yeah," I finally lied when it looked like they were go through
me and go after George again. Feeling like I was walking on eggshells,
I grabbed George's hand. "He just, you know, sometimes he gets kind
of... enthusiastic." George was looking at me like I was crazy. I
squeezed his hand in Morse code, twice D which meant "Do it."
"Hehheh," he laughed pathetically, and smiled at me. "Sorry, Val,
I guess I got carried, uh, away." I smiled back at him. I hoped I
didn't look as freaked out as he did.
One guy finally said, "Well, if you ever get tired of dating a geek
and want a real man, you just come here and ask for Judd, 'kay?" Oh
sure. I nodded. He pointed at George and intoned, "Be nice to her,
asshole," as a parting shot. They walked off, with "Judd" getting
beaten about the shoulders by his buds.
I was gonna drop George's hand like a grenade, but then I saw the
guys look back at me, so I moved closer to him instead. "Let's go!" I
snarled quietly at him while keeping my face frozen in a smile. It
didn't take him twice this time.
Mike had pulled Book out of the line of fire for an ambush, so they
walked along behind us at a discreet distance as we walked along, trying
to act casual. "Goddamnit, why do you keep getting me into these
messes?" George hissed.
I hissed back, "Me? And whose bright idea was it to pinch my
butt?"
"You didn't have to overreact like that!"
"Over- it HURT, you fuckhead!"
He was gonna yank his hand loose, but I just knew what was gonna
happen next if he did that. "Stop it, George! If they think I lied,
they'll cream you and abduct me! Wait until we get around the corner,
you idiot!"
He stopped pulling, but he was mumbling under his breath the whole
time, while I looked down at the floor so I wouldn't have to see anyone
else. It was shameful what I would do to keep my friends alive.
When we turned the corner, I looked behind us to make sure they
couldn't see us any more. I couldn't see them, so I flung his hand
away.
"Aww, having another fight so soon?" Mike oozed.
***
19:22 12 Mar
"Two scoop sundae, please," I told the dork at the ice cream
counter. This was gonna ruin my dinner, if I cared, which I didn't. A
bet was a bet.
Book groaned like he was in great physical pain.
***
19:38 12 Mar
"No books?" Mike asked.
"No cash," I told him.
"What about-"
"No CASH, Mike. They won't take someone else's check, and besides,
if Debbie doesn't get her cut, I'll die."
He nodded. "Well, go hit an ATM or something," he suggested.
***
19:54 12 Mar
"Oh..." I mumbled as the possibilities whirled around in my head.
"Oh God. It's perfect."
"What's perfect?" Mike asked me.
I just pointed in the window. IT was a beautiful silk dress, with
little puffed sleeves up top, and a low neckline, and a tight waist, and
a VERY straight skirt that was probably like wearing ankle cuffs. She'd
look gorgeous in it. She'd kill me.
I was torn between the two possibilities, when Mike asked, "For
you?"
I wheeled around. "No, you dork! For Jill!"
He frowned. So did George and Book. "How," asked Mike, "were you
planning to get her into that?"
I pointed at him. "I need your help-"
At that, he started waving his arms and backing away. "Oh, no, not
me, you are not involving me in your sick little games, no way-"
"Wait, lemme explain!"
***
19:56 12 Mar
Mike was shaking his head "Tuh-Valerie, she'd kill me for
suggesting it. She'd just, I mean, erk!" He made as if to strangle
himself. "Just like that," he continued, "and I'd be dead and you'd be
stuck with that dress. And boy would you be sorry if she killed me
wouldn't you," he stated.
"I would, but she wouldn't kill you, she likes you!" I thought she
did anyway. She hadn't really hurt him yet, at least.
Mike looked at me like he knew I was lying. George and Book both
looked astonished. "Nuh uh," disputed Book, but he didn't sound too
sure.
"Why don't you get it for Debbie?" suggested George, and we all
turned to look at him, stunned. I hoped this wasn't his one good
suggestion for the month - it seemed a shame to use it on this.
Although, thinking about it, it would look even better on Debbie than it
would on Jill.
"Yeah, she goes for this sort of thing," added Mike after he
thought about it for a while, "and she would look damn good in it."
Book was just staring at all of us.
"Huh." I hadn't thought about it.
"Never hurts to show a girl you're thinking about her," George
reminded me. "Especially if you're getting a present for one of her
friends." He had a significant point. Again.
It made you wonder why he couldn't date anyone for more than six
weeks at a time.
***
20:02 12 Mar
"Well?"
"Shut up, I'm looking." Mike did things to the back of my neck
which made me really uncomfortable.
Especially when he grabbed the collar and pulled backwards. "ERK!"
I complained, but he just shook me a little more. I was torn between
falling against him and getting air, or choking to death with some
dignity. It was a hard choice.
Luckily, before I even got tunnel vision, he let go. I spent a
while catching my breath before I turned around. "Gahhh, what?"
"Size ten."
All that agony for one number.
***
20:05 12 Mar
I tried not to think too much about the price as I took it into the
dressing room. Silk cost a lot more than I thought it did.
***
20:09 12 Mar
"Well?" I twirled for them like Debbie did for me when she took me
shopping.
"Wrong shoes," Mike commented, staring at me with a hand on his
chin. Book and George snickered at that.
"Blank blank the shoes, Mike, does it fit?"
"How big are your boobs compared to hers?" he asked. George
desperately slapped a hand over his mouth and spun around. I didn't
know why; it was a serious question.
"Um... about the same, I think. She's a little wider in the hips
than I am, though."
Mike moved for a different angle. "Do you have room there, for
her?" George collapsed and began hysterics on the floor. Book had some
standing up.
"I, uh..." The two of them were funny to watch and listen to. The
laugh track principle at work. "Um..." I chuckled. "I," I snorted.
"Stop it you pigs!"
Mike was rubbing his forehead and trying not to smile. "Maybe, uh,
maybe you should go back in the, the," then he sort of barked once, as
a warning that we were all going to lose it if I didn't take off
immediately. I turned around and almost ran back into the dressing room
where I couldn't hear them any more.
***
20:11 12 Mar
Having determined that there was almost certainly room for Debbie's
larger hips inside this dress, I was taking it off when I heard a voice
call out, "Valerie?" It was a woman's voice.
"Uh," I said before I thought about it. "I'm changing!"
"Okay," replied the voice, which was maddeningly familiar. I
SHOULD know who it was, darnit.
I swam out of the dress as quick as I could, hung it back up, and
struggled back into the sweater and skirt I'd worn in, before I peeked
out.
Nobody there. Shit. "Hey, where are you?" I asked into the empty
air.
"Right here," said the voice from another stall. I still couldn't
place the voice.
Deciding that I didn't have much to lose at this point, I went and
knocked on the door of the other stall. "Hey?"
The door opened, and Julia's head poked out. "Hey what?"
"Oh, it's you!" Duh. I felt like an idiot.
"I could say the same thing." She looked at me. "Whatcha trying
on?"
***
20:14 12 Mar
"Oh, yeah, that looks really good on you, Debbie'll love it," she
commented as I turned around in front of the bank of mirrors. "Are you
sure you're the same size though?"
"Yeah, pretty sure. She keeps giving me stuff to wear, and it
fits."
"Yeah, but is that stuff she can wear now, or is she giving it to
you because she's too large for it now?"
"Uh, I think..." I thought about it. "She's let me wear stuff
that she wears to school. Recently."
Julia shrugged.
***
20:19 12 Mar
"What do you think?" she asked as she modeled the black dress. It
wasn't as sexy as the one I had picked out, but it definitely looked
classy.
"Very nice..." I circled around her as she turned the other way,
watching herself in the mirror. "Really makes you look mature, you
know? Like a real lady, not just some high school brat." She gave me a
sideways look. "No, really, it looks good on you!" It did too.
***
20:23 12 Mar
"So how did you know it was me?" I asked her as she gathered
everything up from her stall.
"Oh, when I saw your three goon friends outside laughing themselves
sick, in a women's clothing store..." She just dropped the rest of it.
I was glad. "What was so funny anyway?"
"Uh, George thought I looked funny in the dress or something, and
then Mike, uh," then I caught the joke, about Debbie fitting inside. It
was sort of a sexual innuendo or something, like both of us inside the
dress at once. "Heheheheh."
***
20:25 12 Mar
They were nowhere to be seen. "Oh, hell."
"They've got to be around here somewhere," Julia reassured me. "If
they didn't get arrested for being obnoxious to a judge's wife or
something." Very reassuring, haha.
***
20:31 12 Mar
I'd almost had time to recover from paying for the dress I was
getting when Julia got her bags. "Ah, where ARE those goons any-"
There was a bookstore right across the hall. "Oh, they're gonna be in
there."
"Let's go look," she suggested. I wondered about her motives, and
she must've seen it, because she smiled at me and told me, "Hey if you
can't find 'em, you're gonna need a ride home, right? So let's stick
together."
I nodded, then a thought struck me. "Hey, can you think what Jill
would like for her birthday?"
"Uh...." She thought about it.
***
20:32 12 Mar
Buried in the sci-fi section, of course. Luckily, there wasn't
anything I needed right then, because I had just spent- I didn't want to
think about it. "Hey," I called.
They all looked up, and saw me, holding a bag, and Julia, holding
two bags, walking right next to me. Book's eyes got wide again. She
waved at them.
Mike thought about it for a second or so, then waved back.
***
20:47 12 Mar
"Oh, but we just ate," I mentioned.
"Shut up, Val," George told me. I looked at him in astonishment.
Did he have the hots for Julia?
***
20:55 12 Mar
I still couldn't tell, but at least this was more fun than writing
my English report. Although I realized I was going to have to do it at
some point, I thought it was best not to ruin my life by thinking about
it too much. So I had another cheese finger.
***
21:34 12 Mar
"Hey, Val. Valerie.... Hello, Valerie?"
Oh, that was me. I pulled myself out of a discussion about evil
technical tricks with Mike. "Huh?"
"Come on," Julia motioned me up. "You gotta go fix your face."
"Oh, yeah, be right back," I told the guys, and got up and went
with her to the bathrooms.
***
21:36 12 Mar
"Your life is getting progressively weirder, have you noticed?" she
asked me as she whisked at her hair with a brush.
"Yeah, I did kind of notice that." I sighed, and rolled my eyes
for her. "It seems like it's just little steps, but-"
"Enough little steps and you have a journey," she reminded me. "So
where ARE you going anyway?"
"What?" Jack had asked me that too. "I dunno. Just see where it
goes, I guess. It's been... weird."
"Fun?" she asked, and when I glanced at her, she looked really
serious.
"I... I guess so. I'm getting to know a lot more people than I
ever thought I would, for one thing." She nodded. "Neat people, like
Debbie's friends, and this, uh, this band, and you, of course..." She
flashed her dimples for me. "Do weird stuff, see more of the world than
I had..." I shrugged. "I don't really have a destination in mind, I
guess," going back to the journey metaphor thing, "so I guess I'm just
touring." I shrugged, and she shrugged back at me, then went back to
her hair. So I went back to mine.
"So does George have the hots for me or am I imagining things?" she
asked.
"I dunno... I would have said you were imagining things, but the
way he's been paying attention to you over dinner, I dunno. Maybe. A
distinct maybe."
"Oh, that's a big help," she groused, and we both laughed.
***
21:40 12 Mar
"Well, what now?"
I mentioned, "I gotta drop two checks off at Debbie's..."
"You gonna give her that dress at the same time?" Mike asked. I
shrugged.
***
21:42 12 Mar
"Well, anyway, I'll see you in school Monday, if not before then,
okay?" Julia opened her arms, and we hugged for a while. She was a
nice and squishy hugger, like Kim or Debbie, except she was bigger.
"You be careful, okay?" she told me as we parted, and I nodded.
"So do I get one?" asked George. We both looked at him, then at
each other. I shrugged, but managed not to smile out loud.
***
22:14 12 Mar
"So can we come in or do we have to stay out here?" George asked as
I got out of the car.
"Dunno. It'd probably be best if I just went in and came back out.
She's gonna be pretty tired, after today, and her mom's leaving for work
soon anyway."
***
22:15 12 Mar
Since a gentle knock on the door hadn't produced any noise, I tried
ringing the doorbell.
A minute later, I heard locks working, and Debbie opened the door.
"Val!" she exclaimed in surprise. "What-"
I held up two checks. "Didn't want to hold these any longer," I
told her.
"Oh, cool," she said, taking them. "Oooh, bonus money too!" she
cooed when she saw the amount. "She must like you."
"And," I said to get her attention.
"And?"
I pulled the dress out of the bag.
"What the...." she came outside and looked at it back and forth.
Then she looked up at me. "You got this for me?" she said, in this
little voice, like she couldn't believe it, like I'd never been nice to
her before.
"Uh huh. And tried it on and everything, and it fit with a little
room to spare, since you have those great hips," I figured she needed
all the counter-propaganda that I could stuff into her head, "and I
don't, but there's some room there, and it fits great, and even the guys
liked it."
She was giving me that "Oh darling!" look, and she just grabbed me
when I was finished and gave me this crushing hug. The guys must've
seen it, because they honked the horn and hooted.
***
22:19 12 Mar
I got back in the car, almost floating. Damn I felt good.
"What, you're not staying over after that?" Mike asked. "I thought
you were gonna get your stuff and tell us to go home."
I knew I had a sappy grin on my face. "No, not tonight, but maybe
later this week."
Book said, "What?"
George asked, "So how are you going to get out of that stuff
anyway?"
I said, "What?"
"Or are you just gonna waltz in past your folks like that?"
"Like what? Oh, this." Now I got it. "No sweat."
***
22:37 12 Mar
Oh, God, I was tired tonight. Busy day. I waved at Dad as I
dragged in through the front door.
***
22:51 12 Mar
Freshly washed, and with special care over my face since Debbie
had suggested that I make sure I wash to get all the makeup off, and now
snuggling into the nice cool covers. It was almost perfect.
I smiled to myself, thinking about sleeping with Debbie instead of
alone. THAT would be perfect.
***
TS Tip #20: Before you pick a therapist, ask yourself: Do I have MORE
problems in my life than just wanting to be a woman? Take care of them
first.
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"One more ____ing bluescreen error out of you, and it's back to DOS!"
- -ehayes
"Tallyho!" \ / @>--,--'-- ehayes@nym.alias.net + vicki .sig
Ellen Hayes --=(*)=(*)=-- Renaissance Woman ==[-------- + virus 9.1a
http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/5734/
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