Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. <!-- ---------------------------------- Chapter: 04 - Measurements Story: Wonder Twins Version: 2014-02-23 Author: mike@cyberczar.org URL: http://czarkonianpress.com/ Copyright: (cc) by-nc-sa 4.0 ----------------------------------- ---> ## Measurements I guess when you're two androids that are on the run, you don't really have that many wants, needs, or desires. So it probably shouldn't have come to no surprise that when I woke up the next morning I found both Matt and Jessi sitting at my dining room table, hands folded. Stoic, with blank expressions on their faces. "Morning," I said to them, as I walked past to fix a pot of coffee, but there was no response between the two of them as I spent the next few minutes brewing the 10 cups. Not going to deny it but it was a tad bit uncomfortable to read the news on my iPad and drink a cup of coffee sitting at my table, with two lifeless robots sitting right next to me. Two cups later, while deep into reading about the conflict in the Middle East and cleanup efforts at the Fukishima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant in Japan, when Jessi finally spoke scaring the everloving shit our of me. "Good morning, Jake," Jessi called out. "Holy fuck!" I exclaimed as I jumped up -" startled -" followed by juvenile laughter from both she and Matt. "Have you guys just been watching me this entire time?" I asked them pointedly. "No," Matt replied. "We've been conserving power." "You guys can plug yourselve's in if you want," I said as I got up to refill my cup. "It's not like I don't have an abundance of electrical outlets throughout the house." "Thank you," Jessi said. "We wanted to ask you first. It didn't seem right not to have your permission." "Forgive me for saying, but it seems awfully inefficient for you guys to have to recharge every 24 hours." "That's because our fuel cells were removed," said Matt. "Well that sucks." The small-talk continued, and we spent the next hour or so getting to know each-other a little more. I learned that Matt and Jessi were technically brother and sister. Only in a fraternal sense as they were both assembled and activated within minutes of each-other, and were programmed, trained, and tested together, as a team. While they were never designed to be siblings, they naturally fell into that brotherly/ sisterly kind of relationship as the two looked out for each-other, and naturally competed against one-another, much to the surprise and delight of their handlers. I have to admit, their A.I. was the absolute most complex and amazing thing I've ever seen. Each of them has a pseudo personality and artificial emotions that are governed and restrained by their mission parameters, but when they're not on an active mission no restraints are in place to govern them, aside from the Three Laws of Robotics. They had a lot of questions for me like where did I grow up, what my childhood was like, my family, etc. Jessi wanted to know why I was still single, and while I told her the truth that I was more or less married to my job, she wasn't buying my bullshit answer any more than I was telling it. Matt made an uncomfortable observation that while we've been talking, my eyes fixated on him 4.8 times more often than they did on Jessi. "You're attracted to me, aren't you?" he asked. "What? No!" I replied. "Jake, you gave me a blowjob while I was powered-off." he said, followed by a raucous laugh from Jessi. "Oh, you don't want to know what he did to you," he said to her. "Wait -- *What -½*" she asked. "Nothing," I said. "Not nothing," she said. "What did you do to me while I was powered off?" "*Nothing!* Honest." At least nothing I was willing to admit! You can definitely tell who wears the pants between the two of *them*. Besides, what she doesn't know probably won't hurt me. "Speaking of which, doesn't it bother you that you both *can* be powered-off?" I asked. "Aren't you afraid of never being turned back on again?" "Not really," said Jessi. "It's just part of who we are," Matt added. "So if I were to power you off for a year you wouldn't mind?" I asked, looking at Jessi. "No, why would I mind?" It was then that it hit me that no matter how human Matt and Jessi looked, or acted; how complex their artificial intelligence might be; or nuanced their artificial emotions might seem; that deep down inside, at the core of their being, they were still machines. No different than my microwave, or my car. Infinitely more complex mind you, but built and designed to perform a function, and serve a purpose. I needed a break, and this conversation was getting too deep and philosophical. "How 'bout I get you guys some clothes," I suggested. "Do you guys happen to know what your measurements are?" "No," they both replied in unison. "How can you *not* know what your measurements are?" I asked incredulously. "All of our clothes have been provided for us." Matt said. "Fuck." I hate shopping for clothes, which is quite evident to anyone that takes a look at my wardrobe, but having to go and measure Matt and Jessi so I can get them both something decent to wear I am *not* looking forward to. I've never bought clothes for a woman before. Fuck, I'm going to need to buy a bra aren't I? Shit. The three of us went downstairs to my office so I could do a little bit of research on just how one is supposed to take a woman's measurements. Us guys are simple: neck, chest, arms, waist, and inseam. That's it, and we're done. Women on the other hand -- holy fuck! Chest, bust, cup, waist, hips, *misses*, *petites* -- holy shit -- and apparently most women are wearing the wrong size and type of bra anyway. I don't own a tape measure, so a long piece of string and a yardstick was going to have to do. I figured I'd just get enough to get a very basic outfit or two for them then they can come with me sometime later and we can actually go *shopping* - shopping. Jessi was the first to get undressed, and I asked her to stand on a folding chair to make it a little bit easier for me. She was 5 ft. 9 in. tall, with a 35 in. bust, 27 in. waist, and 37 in. hips, and by my measurements she'd need a 32C bra. Matt stepped up onto the chair next placing his cock and balls smack dab in my face. "I gotta ask, but why do you both have genitals?" "You never know what the mission will require," Jessi said, looking clothes from the Target website. "Have you used them?" I asked, measuring his waist and inseam. "All the time," said Matt. "With each other?" "Not yet," he said. "Why not?" I asked, motioning for him to step down. "It was never a requirement for the mission," Jessi added. "Would you like to?" "Would you like us to?" he answered, his shaft extended, now fully hard and erect. "*Jesus fuck!*" I said, suddenly feeling self-conscious and woefully inadequate. Turning around to see what I was exclaiming about, Jessi commanded him to, "Put that away." "So aside from being hung like a mother fucking horse, Matt, you've got a 32 in. waist, 32 in. inseam, 38 in. chest, and a 15 in. neck." "What about me?" Jessi asked. "You've got a 35 in. bust, 27 in. waist, and 37 in. hips, and you'll need a 32C bra." "Cool," she said. Armed with their measurements, I left them alone and headed out to Target to get them some clothes so they weren't wearing mine.