Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Contains:

   MF, Cheat, oral, anal, age



   Readers: Please be over the age of consent for adult reading.  If you're
not, do not read this.



   "Hey Dave, got a minute?"

   Her sweet voice sliced through the cloud that surrounded me.  I was
trying to make sense out of a blueprint drawn by someone whom obviously
didn't have a clue as to what was important in a design drawing and what
was useless.

   "Sure Lynn.  What's up?"

   Lynn was our firms youngest, brightest and also the newest engineer. 
She had graduated `Magna Cum Laude' from MIT and our organization had
recruited her.  Of the engineers on staff, or in the `pool' as it was
referred to, she was the one I most often worked with now.

   Blonde, blue eyed, and built to perfection, well, to what was my ideal
of perfection in a woman anyway.  She was the ultimate of what my `Dream
woman' would be.  Even as young as she was I hold some very interesting
fantasies about her and me in my mind.  How could I refuse her anything?

   There were only two real big things that kept me from trying to act on
those fantasies.  The first and most important one was that my loving wife
would probably have my balls in her hand should I do something so stupid as
try to cheat on her, and second, Lynn is around 26 years old.  To a man
that is almost fifty (in a few months as a matter of fact) that would
literally be robbing the cradle.

   I figured that even if I were single, she'd never go for me due to my
age, so I was left with the `fantasy' and that was the extent of my
involvement with her in that way.  I go happily home every night and love
up my wife.

   Speaking of wives, my wife and I have been married for 27 years now and
while it hasn't always been a bed of roses, it has been a good marriage.  I
love Dawn and I know she loves me.  The only real issue we've had over the
years is our sex drive differences.

   Dawn thinks that I have an `over-active libido' while I think that she
would prefer to be a nun.  Early in our marriage this difference caused us
to have to see a counselor and in the end I decided that I loved her more
than a little and if that meant that our sex life wouldn't be as fulfilling
as I would like, so be it.

   Hence, over the years, I'd figured out ways to work around the sex
issue, and for the most part we survived in spite of the differences.  Dawn
is my mate and my partner.  She is also my best friend.  I would be lost
without her.  I knew that once the counseling finally got through to us
both.

   Over the ensuing years we had three kids, and our oldest was Sarah, our
daughter.  Our two sons are now attending college and Sarah is married and
her and her husband have given us two grandkids.

   Over the years I'd have many, many temptations to cheat, but I managed
to remain faithful to Dawn.  Some of those temptations had been her friends
at various times, who came on to me rather than the other way around That
made me wonder at how Dawn chose her friends in the first place..

   I have also fallen deeper into love with Dawn in those years together as
well, and in spite of `the difference' I have been happy in that love. 
Dawn has told me numerous times that she loves me and she has also
demonstrated it daily (non-sexually)to me as well, so I guess you can say
that we are a happily married couple.

   Needless to say though, Lynn, and any other `dream woman' was off limits
to me, by me.  Every once in a while Dawn would tell me; "You can look
Dave, but no touching.  Don't ever touch." She will tease me once in a
while if she catches me looking, so I try not to be obvious when Dawn is
around however, when I'm alone that courtesy goes by-by.

   Lynn drew my attention back to her.

   "I was wondering if you could help me with a few things tonight Dave?"

   "Okay, what do you need me to do?"

   "I have some furniture I want to move and I think it's too heavy and
awkward for me to move alone."

   "I'll be glad to help you move that stuff.  What time do you need me at
your place?"

   "Well, could you come right over after work?  Dawn is gone to Boston
this week and you're all alone, so I'll make you supper as partial pay. 
Honestly, I could use some company too.  It's been...lonely for me."

   Lynn had broken up with her boyfriend of three years a few months ago.
She'd been coming over to our place to `girl talk' with Dawn and they had
kicked me out of my home more than a few times while they `fixed' things.

   Dawn and Lynn had met at a Christmas party a year back, and for whatever
reason, they really hit it off.  I think that Dawn was looking for a
`replacement daughter' for Sarah who had married and moved away.  I also
think that Lynn was looking for a mother-type figure to bounce things off
of too.

   At any rate, they were fast friends now and I was used to seeing Lynn at
our place or Dawn and Lynn going out shopping or `Girls night out' every
once in a while.  Part of my issue with Lynn being a fantasy for me besides
her age was of course, her being my wife's close friend.

   "Well, you know I like to go home, shower and change clothes after work
Lynn, so how about I do that and then stop on over at your place?"

   "No problem.  You'll take a shower at my place.  I'll even wash your
clothes for you while you're in the shower too...that way you don't have to
make that long drive across town, then all the way back...twice in a
night."

   "Uh...I don't think that would be a good idea Lynn.  Someone might see
me at your place waiting for my clothes to dry and get the wrong idea."

   I was uncomfortable about being alone at her place with her.  Not that I
didn't trust her...it was me that I had the trust issues with.

   "What?  NO way.  I trust you and you should trust me by now.  I know
that Dawn trusts me and she's my best friend.  Besides, you live clear
across town and that is a long assed drive.  I was hoping to move the
furniture and then feed you before midnight."

   I folded.

   I know, wimp assed thing for me to do, but knowing Lynn as I did I
couldn't find a flaw in her logic.  The only thing that gave me pause was
the fact that if she knew what my fantasies were, she'd never have been
quite so trusting of me.  I wasn't too trusting of me.  Of all the women
over the years that had tried, I knew deep inside that Lynn could be the
one woman that could have a chance of causing me to stray.

   I knew that I had to be on guard, always, when around Lynn.  Not that
she'd do anything with me of course, but that I might try to do something
really stupid and regret it afterwards, whether it led to anything or not.
Lynn wasn't just a co-worker, she was my wife's best friend and as such, my
friend too.  Off limits.

   Yet, in the back of my mind little warning bells were dinging and
ringing louder and louder.  Lynn was acting a bit different with this
request to begin with.  It was more in the inflection of her talk than
anything else, but I sensed an undercurrent that I'd never felt before. 
I'll admit I was curious as to why I felt it.

   The rest of the day smoothed up and went right for a change and by
quitting time I was pretty relaxed and even laid back to a degree.  My job
at the firm was to run the shop.  I'd been told it was my shop to run and I
took that to heart, as did the six managing partners that actually owned
the firm.  I had about thirty people working in `my' shop and out of them
all, I was the oldest by ten years.

   My second in command was Bill, and he was the one ten years younger than
me.  Capable and having a sharp mind, he had helped me over the years to
build this shop up into a world class machine-weld shop.  We had made
millions for the firm bailing out other companies that were up to their
necks in doo-doo.

   Most of the projects we took on were ones that other firms refused to
even as much as look at.  `My' shop was the difference in most jobs that
made the firm noteworthy in our line of work.  I hold no degree other than
that of the `school of hard knocks'.  Yet, all the partners treat me as an
equal.

   We work with the `pool' and together we have managed to build, rebuild
or actually create some rather significant things over the years.  Everyone
that works at the firm is on a bonus plan and since I am a `manager' I get
a rather huge bonus most quarters.  Dawn and I are not hurting for money.

   Dawn, by the way, is a very good and very busy corporate lawyer.  She is
a partner in a firm that does work nation-wide and sometimes
internationally as well.  She travels often, but usually she's home more
then not.  We almost have what one could call a normal life.

   As I left that day I remembered my office locker.  I keep a change of
clothes in there for emergencies.  I lucked out and found all that I needed
ready and waiting.  At Lynn's I was greeted with a huge smile and then a
disconcerted look as she glanced at the clothes I was carrying.

   "You drove all the way home?"

   "No.  I remembered that I had these in the office locker for
emergencies, and grabbed them.  Now I can borrow your shower and not have
to wait for my other clothes to dry.  Besides, I should wash them at home
anyway."

   "Oh."

   That `Oh' spoke volumes.  Her manner was off hand but again, the
inflection in her voice and her body language shouted `Disappointed'.  With
the capital `D'.

   The hairs on the back of my neck began to rise.  Matter of fact, I
almost turned and left.

   Almost.

   "Lynn, is there something going on between us that I'm missing or maybe
not seeing quite the same as you are?"

   "What?  Oh no.  Really.  I just need your assistance and I am grateful
that you came to help me.  Honest."

   What had been hairs rising was now that famous robot from the sci-fi TV
show of the sixties... "Danger!  Danger Will Robinson!  Danger!" Lynn was
talking too fast to be honest with what she was really thinking.

   There was one other thing too.  Lynn had just lied to me for the first
time since I'd known her.  I knew her well enough to know that something
was up, but she wasn't ready or possibly didn't want to tell me what that
`something' was.  I was sorry I'd told her I'd help her now.  I was worried
that I was headed into a place I didn't want to go to.

   "So I guess I'll go shower up?  Or would you rather move the furniture
first?"

   "Oh, uh...probably go shower up first, then we can move the junk and
then I'll feed you.  Sound good?"

   "Oh yeah."

   She was up to something and the look in her eyes was one that made me
wish Dawn was here to referee this whole thing now.  To say I was nervous
was putting it mildly.  In the bathroom the first thing I did was lock the
door.

   I showered and then dressed.  Feeling somewhat better I opened the door
and almost stumbled over Lynn, who was standing right next to it in the
hallway.

   "Oops!  Are you okay?  I didn't expect you to be standing here."

   "I'm okay.  It's my fault.  I was waiting for you to come out so I could
grab your clothes and get them in the washing machine."

   "Oh, not to worry, I'll take them home and do them there."

   "Give them to me.  It's no problem and I WILL wash them for you.  No
argument from you either." Lynn was speaking firmly, almost demandingly.

   I handed her my clothes, wishing that this was all some kind of weird
dream.  It wasn't though, and I felt that I had a whole evening of `weird'
to get through.  Her `demand' kind of shook me up a little too.  Lynn had
never `ordered' me to do anything before.  Not like this.  She grabbed my
clothes and took them with her.

   Once my clothes were in her washing machine she led me to her living
room.  Looking around she pointed to a light looking and not very big
chair.

   "We can start with this one I guess.  I'd like it over there, then the
couch over here, then that table moved over to that wall, and then we can
take a break and I'll see if I like that arrangement or not."

   Business...all business like.  No joking around, no comments that
normally would have been peppered through the conversation.  Matter of
fact, I just realized that there had been no `conversation' only her
directing.  This was a Lynn I had never seen before.

   I moved over to the chair and as I picked it up I glanced over at Lynn.
I was looking for eye contact, but what I saw was that she had turned her
head and was staring off into space.  I moved the chair over towards the
area she'd pointed to and sat it down.

   "This about where you wanted it Lynn?"

   She didn't answer me.  Still staring off and away from me she just stood
there like she was in a trance or something.

   "Lynn?  Lynn, are you all right?"

   "What?  Oh...yeah, that's perfect.  Lets get the couch next okay Dave?"

   She was blushing, her face flame red as she moved to one end of the
couch.  We moved that and then the table.  It took all of five minutes,
including her staring off as she had been doing.  I sat on the couch and
waited to hear what was on her mind for the next furniture to be moved.

   Silence.

   Lynn had sat in the chair and was again staring off into space.  I was
not sure what was going on anymore and it was very obvious that this whole
`help her move the furniture' thing was some kind of ruse to get me to her
place.  I decided that I would wait out the silence.

   More silence.

   This was getting ridiculous now.  We sat there for ten minutes with no
talk.  I had made up my mind that I was going to out wait her so I started
to work on some things in my head that were from work.  Normally I didn't
think about work while at home or away from work, but this was an unusual
situation, and I certainly didn't feel `right' about thinking about my
fantasies.

   Finally I had to break the silence.  Otherwise I'd fall asleep.  I
already nodded off once waiting, and it was obvious to me that I would be
taking a nap real soon if I didn't get up and do something.

   "So...do you have more furniture to move around Lynn?"

   "Oh...I'm sorry.  I was thinking and lost track of time."

   "I saw that.  What's going on Lynn?  You've been acting weird all day
and now you really are acting strange.  You've something on your mind that
you need to tell me?"

   "Actually I do have something to tell you.  It's just that I'm not sure
how to start, or what to say...exactly.  You and Dawn have been like second
parents to me over the last year and since I've come to work at the firm
you Dave, have been super great to work with.  I guess that I love you guys
and this whole thing has my head messed up."

   "Is your ex boyfriend giving you grief again Lynn?  If he is, say the
word and I can mention something to Billie Joe and Red.  They'd love to
help you out with something like that.  They were pretty upset when you
went through all those problems a few months ago and let me know that they
could lean on him a bit if you wanted.  They're some good guys and they
care for you.  I'm not sure what their wives would think about the offers
they made to help you, but I know that their hearts are in the right
place."

   "Oh, it's not him.  He's history and has been.  I haven't talked to him
in months.  No, this is closer to home.  I...I wish I didn't care for Dawn
and you as much as I do.  This is going to be a difficult thing to get past
and I hate to see either one of you hurt, especially you Dave.  You're a
good man, and you're also a damn good manager.  I'm not sure how things
will go once I tell you what I have to tell you though."

   "Okay Lynn, you have to know that you've gone too far now.  You have to
tell me whatever it is that is bothering you.  Come on, out with it."

   I wasn't sure what the hell was going on in her mind, but I knew that
she was reluctant to tell me whatever it was.  That she mentioned that she
wished she didn't care for us as much as she did worried me.  My first
thought was that she may have fallen for me and wanted to go somewhere that
we'd both regret later.  I was wrong about that.  Way wrong.

   "Okay.  There's no good way to tell you this Dave, but I love and
respect you too much to let it go on with you in the dark.  Dawn and I have
gotten close.  Too close.  She has confided in me things that have shocked
me.  I've been fighting deep inside for a few weeks now, trying to figure
out the right thing to do.  Oh God...this kills me to have to tell you
this...Dawn has a lover in Boston.  They've been intimate for over a year.
Every time she goes to Boston she's seeing him.  Every quarterly meeting."

   Towards the end of her confession her words ran over each other.  She
was blurting it all out, as if it were a dirty secret that she was ashamed
of even knowing about.

   I sat there for a moment too stunned to understand her.  Then it started
to settle into my mind in a way that I understood what she was telling me
but I couldn't believe it.  DAWN?  MY Dawn was having an affair?  The same
Dawn that thought sex was too troublesome to bother with more than once or
twice a month?

   Suddenly I remembered the guys talking about some pranks they'd pulled
on people in the past.  I guessed that I was being the recipient of a prank
right now.

   "I get it...you're joking right?  What, is this that new show on
TV...what is it called?  Oh yeah, have I just been PUNKED?"

   I was looking around the room for the cameras.

   Lynn burst into tears.

   "I knew you'd be like this.  It's not a joke Dave.  She told me his name
and everything.  At first I thought she was kidding around so I just smiled
and nodded my head at her talk...then I realized she was serious.  She is
having an affair with this clown and you didn't know.  She must have
changed somehow in the last year and you have to have seen that change. 
Right?  You had an idea of something being wrong, didn't you Dave?"

   "Not a clue.  My God...Dawn is cheating on me?  I just can't believe
it."

   "I asked her how she could do this to you and she just shrugged and said
this thing with Steve just happened.  The first time she said she felt
extremely guilty, but then they did it again and she said that she couldn't
keep from doing it with him.  It was different and exciting for her.  She'd
never done some things with you that she's done with Steve and I guess she
loves the rush she gets from doing it behind your back.  She also said that
she had a `bible' that helped her to hide it all from everybody.  It's in
her office in the locked bookcase."

   "Oh...God.  I think I'm going to be..."

   I got up and ran for the bathroom.  I barely made it.  As I calmed down
and cleaned up from the release of tension, I started to think.

   `What do I do now?  What should I do now?  Does she love this Steve guy?
Why would she do this and how did it all start anyway?  What happened to
us?'

   All the questions hit me at once and I was actually dizzy for a moment
as I tried to settle back down.  Lynn knocked on the door and asked me if I
was okay.

   "Dave, are you all right?  Dave?  Please, talk to me."

   "I'm okay.  I'll be out in a minute Lynn."

   I sat there for a bit more, and then once I felt strong enough, I came
out.

   "So, she told you about her lover?"

   "Yes.  Like I said, at first I thought she was kidding.  Once I knew she
was serious I started to dig at her trying to get her to see the danger and
pain she was tempting fate with.  She said that the affair would soon be
over and that you'd never know about it.  She also said that she loves you
too much to lose you, so as long as you weren't aware there'd be no
problem. She said that she just needed to let loose once in her life and
this Steve guy allowed her that out."

   "I don't get it.  Dawn has always had a low sex drive, how could she
even think about cheating on me?"

   "I know about that Dave, and that's something that bothered me too.  She
told me about your problems early on in your marriage over the sex drive
differences.  She told me she didn't know why now, suddenly her drive was
going up, but her bible made it plain as day that she'd have to keep things
normal between you.  Just like they've always been."

   "Her bible huh?  She has a book that advises her on how to cheat on me?"

   "She said it's in her locked book cabinet in her office."

   I was finally getting pissed off.  Real pissed off.  Dawn was cheating
on me and had been for a year now...and it had all been kept from me.  She
even confided in Lynn, who had been torn over doing the right thing and how
to do it.  Lynn, who was like our second daughter had been drug into a fine
mess that should never have involved her.

   "She wanted me to find out.  That's why she told you about it."

   "What?  You know, I think you're right Dave.  I think she knew that I'd
spill the beans to you eventually.  But...why?"

   "Probably because she wants out of our joke of a marriage and didn't
know how else to do it."

   "No...that's not right Dave.  She told me she loves you too much too..."

   "Bullshit.  Lynn, she's playing you and me for fools.  If she loved me
so God-damned much she'd never have cheated on me to begin with.  No, she
knew that if she told you that you'd have to tell me eventually because you
care for me and you respect me too."

   "Oh Dave, I `m so sorry to be the one bringing you all this pain."

   "It's not you Lynn, it's Dawn that brought it on.  I need to go.  Can I
take a rain check on that dinner with you?"

   "No...don't go Dave.  Please.  I don't want you to be alone right now.
That's why I asked you to come here in the first place.  I thought I needed
a good excuse to get you here and then I found that what I had to tell you
was so hard to say that I just couldn't come right out and say it.  You
can't be alone right now though.  I know what it's like to be in your
situation and believe me you need someone to be with you."

   I could see that Lynn was remembering her ex-boyfriend and the hard time
she'd had just a few months ago.  We'd helped her as much as we could then,
and I know that Dawn had really gone out of her way to talk and be with
Lynn too.

   "Lynn, thank you for the offer of a shoulder to lean on I may take you
up on it later, but for right now I have some things I need to do."

   I drove home and on the way I just thought about our years together and
wondered where it had gone wrong.  I couldn't think of anything directly,
so I figured it must have been a combination of things that finally added
up to Dawn going where she'd gone.  Now I had a mess to clean up and didn't
really know where to start.

   I knew that she planned to be in Boston for one more week so that meant
that I didn't have much time to work with.  Once I got home I was busy
finding a private eye firm in Boston.  I kept remembering `the bible' in
Dawn's office.  I had to find that book and see what the hell it was all
about.  I came up with a plan for that I could do tomorrow.  If I pulled
that off right, Dawn wouldn't have a clue that I knew or what information I
actually had.

   I was glad that it was a Thursday instead of a Friday now.  I had one
business day to take care of some important things before the weekend could
ruin them from getting done.  It also meant that Dawn wouldn't have any
inkling of impending trouble until probably Monday morning.

   Friday morning I walked into Dawns office area.  It had been a busy
morning for me so far, and even though my whole life had gone into a tail
spin I perked up once I saw her secretary sitting there.  Peg, her
secretary was working on the computer.

   "Hey Peg.  Dawn needs a book from her library.  It's a personal one, and
she wanted me to pick it up for her."

   "Oh.  Did she give you the key to her office too?"

   That was a joke.  You see, Dawn has never locked her office.  The
bookcase she kept locked but her office was never locked.

   "Yeah, along with the one to her heart too."

   It killed me to say it, but it went with the joke, and I had to keep it
normal as I could.  I wasn't going to let Peg know which book I was
getting, if I could figure it out myself that is.  I wasn't sure what book
I wanted, but I figured that once I opened each one, the right one would
stand out.

   Peg grabbed the key ring and we walked into Dawns office.  Opening the
book case took only a second and as she pulled the key out of the lock Peg
turned to face me.  She'd been giving me some glances as we walked up to
the case.

   "You know, I've never opened this bookcase before.  It's strange.  Dawn
could care less about the office with the thousands of dollars of paintings
and knick knacks all over, but she keeps her law books and some other
things under lock and key.  She's strange in being that way don't you
think?"

   "Yeah, I've mentioned that fact to her before but she says the building
security keeps out the likely suspects."

   "I'll be right outside at my desk if you need anything Dave."

   I watched Peg walk away.  She is another woman that I've had some
thoughts about over the years.  Married to a pretty great guy, I knew that
he was one lucky man to have her.  Of course, maybe Peg wasn't as honest as
I thought either.

   `Maybe all women are dishonest in...no...don't get that way' I told
myself.  `It's Dawn that's cheating and that's all.  Let it go'.

   I started to go through the books on the shelves and finally, after
about ten minutes I found the one I was looking for.  How did I know it was
the right one you might wonder?  It was easy.  The paper cover was about
some kind of Law review and the insides were far different.

   Inside the hard cover was a complete guide to `How to tell if your
spouse is cheating on you'.  It was a type of self help book.  I noted as I
flipped through some pages that parts and paragraphs had been highlighted
in different colors of `highlight' pens.  Yellow, pink, and blue seemed to
be the colors of the day.

   "Funny, I've never seen that book before and I'm surprised that Dawn
marked the pages.  She never marks a book."

   Peg had walked up behind me and was looking over my shoulder. 
Surprised, I just stood there as she took the book from my hands.

   "Oh my God...it's about how to catch a cheating spouse.  Why on earth
would Dawn...Oh no...you haven't been cheating on her have you Dave?  That
would kill her.  She loves you so much..."

   "Actually Peg, I just found out last night that it's the other way
around.  She referred to this book as her `bible'...so she has been using
it to cover her cheating on me."

   "NO.  NO WAY.  Dawn would never cheat on you Dave.  She loves you too
much, I know it.  There must be some mistake."

   "Do you know where she is right this second Peg?"

   "She has some appointments in Boston with a client."

   "The client's name is..."

   "I can't tell you that Dave, you know that."

   "I can tell you his first name.  It's Steve.  They've been having this
affair for over a year now."

   Peg looked shell shocked.  I could see her thinking things out in her
mind.  Her head shook suddenly, as if she were forbidding herself to do
something.  Suddenly she started to read some of the highlighted sections
of the open book.

   "Oh my God.  She's marked all the typical things that give away a
cheating spouse.  How they act, things they may do differently, everything.
She's used this as a guide to keep anyone from telling that she's been
cheating on you.  I can't believe this.  I can't believe that she'd do
something like this.  Oh Dave, I'm so sorry."

   "I know Peg.  Look, I'm not ready to let her know that I know about her
and her lover yet.  If she calls, please don't mention my having been here
today... please?"

   I could see tears forming in Peg's eyes as she nodded her head
affirmatively to me.  She hugged me quickly as I turned to leave.

   "Dave, I never knew.  If I had I would have said something to you about
it, honest.  We all go a long ways back and I care for you two a lot. 
Please don't do anything too rash."

   "I know.  I don't think anyone knows except those two.  I think this
book explains why too.  She really did use this as a bible of sorts.  It
told her what she needed to do to keep things from everyone.  Item by item,
word by word, this book helped her to pull the rug over our eyes.  As far
as rash goes...we'll see."

   "If you need anything Dave, just ask.  We'll work something out.  I just
can't believe this yet.  I respected Dawn so much and now..."

   "Peg, don't worry.  I'll be fine.  Eventually I'll probably look back on
this time as a learning experience and it won't hurt...as much.  You're a
good woman and you have a good man.  Keep each other close.  That's what
matters."

   I knew that as it stood, our marriage was on very poor ground.  I hadn't
thought about what to do yet, as I had never been in this situation before.
Skipping work this morning wasn't something I did and I knew that
eventually everything would come out, especially if Dawn and I ended up
divorced.  Right now though, I just didn't know what it was I wanted...or
needed.  I ended up back at work that afternoon, trying to get something
constructive done before the weekend came.

   Lynn was at work and she came by my office just before quitting time.

   "Hey, would you be interested in talking later?  I'll make dinner.  You
can bounce things off of me."

   "Thanks Lynn, but I was thinking that I need to be by myself for a
while. You know...work some things out in my mind before next Friday."

   "What about when she calls between now and then?"

   "I'll fake it for now.  When I know what my plan is, then we'll see, but
for now I'm faking things so she doesn't find out that I know about it
yet."

   "Dave, I'm in the middle here already.  I can't say you owe me visits
and talk, but I want to help as much as I can.  Hell, Dawn may realize what
she's about to lose and try anything to keep you.  You'll need me to talk
things over and to help you...no matter which way things end up.  Please,
don't shut me out now."

   Again I folded.  I wasn't sure why Lynn wanted to be so involved with me
in this type of thing, but she was right in that I needed someone to talk
to.  I could see myself doing some pretty stupid things on my own right
now, and in my state of mind I needed someone to call bullshit on me when I
headed in the wrong direction.  I felt that Lynn, of all the people I knew
would call bull on me when she first saw it.

   "You're right Lynn.  Thank you.  I'll be over around...?"

   "How about sevenish?"

   "Seven-thirty then?"

   "I'll have some dinner warm and ready for you Dave."

   Later that evening Lynn and I were sitting in her living room talking.
We had been trying to figure out why Dawn would have done what she did, and
then set things up so I'd find out.

   "Has her diary said anything about her thoughts on this Steve guy?"

   "Her diary...I'd forgotten all about her diary.  Damn.  I wonder.  I
suppose she took it with her though.  I mean, if she even still uses it."

   "Oh she uses it Dave.  She was telling me how that when she goes out of
town she uses a little notebook then when she's home she transfers all her
thoughts from the absent days into her diary...so you may have more to go
on sitting right under your nose."

   "I've never read it you know.  I'd never invade her space.  Well, not
until this all came out.  I suppose that in some way I have a right to know
what she's thought now.  I may find that she hates me in reality.  Or that
she's about the leave me.  I guess I should go hunt it up and read the
damned thing."

   "I'll come with."

   Lynn and I drove over in my car.  Once at what had been my happy home we
looked around for Dawns diary.  Lynn found it.

   "Here it is.  In an old shoe box on the floor of her closet.  Go figure.
It was covered with some shoes and stuff, looked like they'd been there for
a while too."

   "Hiding it perhaps?"

   "More than likely."

   "Can you open it?  It has a lock."

   "Hey, you're talking to the shop boss now.  I'm a machinist, remember?
We'll get it open, one way or the other."

   I pulled a pair of scissors out of Dawns nightstand and cut the leather
strap that held the book closed.

   "There.  Now it's open."

   Lynn gasped.  "Oh my God.  You cut it!"

   "Yeah?  So?"

   "She'll know you read her personal stuff."

   "Yep.  Don't think it's going to matter much though, do you?  I mean, by
the time she knows about this, things will be pretty wild around here
anyway."

   "Oh yeah.  Good point.  I guess it really doesn't matter does it?"

   "Well, I'll tell you that I feel a little creeped out here Lynn.  I
mean, I've never invaded her privacy like this.  It's not how I usually
operate."

   "I know that, but these are trying times Dave."

   We read the latest entries in Dawns diary and they were eye opening to
say the least.  At one point I actually had to leave the room and take a
walk outside.  My anger towards my wife was getting away from me and her
thoughts on things written in that damned diary drove me to the edge.

   Her first entry on 'Steve' showed that she was upset and guilty about
having cheated on me.  It was actually one of the longest entries.  She had
gone on and on about how bad she felt and how much it would hurt me if I
found out about Steve.  I never read anywhere in there that she planned to
tell me about having done it with him though.  She just felt guilty, that
was all.

   The second entry she admitted that Steve had excited her more than she
had been able to withstand a second time, and with the alcohol she'd had,
it was one thing leads to another and she cheated on me again, that same
week.  It was also when she mentioned the book about cheating.

   This Steve guy, according to Dawn was tall, very dark skinned and
handsome.  He paid attention to her and complimented her often.  I found
myself thinking that he must be her perfect dream lover.  I had dream
lovers, yet I'd never acted on them.  I'd had chances over the years too.
What had changed so much between us that Dawn would allow this to happen?

   The entries went on over the last year and I found that though she
struggled with her guilt for being with Steve, the one thing that was
obvious was that she still loved me.  According to her diary, she loved me
enough that she'd die if I left her over this affair with Steve.  Well, she
was about to find out about that pretty soon.  I'd see if she had meant
what she'd written there or not.

   I read how they'd fucked twice on that first trip.  The second trip to
Boston had evidently loosened her inhibitions as they fucked almost each
night for the whole week she was there.  She talked about the kinds of sex
they had, and what she'd thought about each time.

   Always after each trip, she'd pour out her guilt and feelings of shame
on how she was cheating on me and how it would kill me if I knew.  She
wrote that the book was helping her to keep her life, for all appearances,
normal as she could.

   Lynn had started crying as she read the diary and when I left the room
for a long walk she kept reading.  When I got back upstairs, I found her
deep in Dawns closet, digging around.

   "What the heck are you doing Lynn?"

   "Dawn's diary...diaries...she has one for each year.  They end just
after she started this one last year...she has more around here...maybe
this isn't the first time..."

   "I think it is the first time, but you're right, we should check and see
for certain.  She keeps her old diaries in a box in the library.  Lets go
I'll show you them."

   It ended up being a long night.  We went through Dawns diaries, and
discovered that Steve was the first and only since we'd been married. 
There had been a one night indiscretion just before we got married at her
bachelorette party, and that hadn't led to anything but her giving a guy a
blowjob.  Other than that, there was nothing else.  One other thing I noted
was that the only diary to have a lock on it was the one I had cut open.

   I found that over the years she'd written down things about us and how
much she loved me too.  I read with care about the times we spent in
counseling and as eye opening as those entries were, they still didn't
really help me all that much.  I kept going back to her latest journal.

   What we both knew after reading through her diaries was that Dawn loved
me, but she had somehow gotten caught up with this Steve guy and couldn't
stop herself from cheating.  It cut me deeply, all the way to the bone. 
One thing in her favor was that she'd mentioned that this two week trip
would be her last, and she hoped, would cause the end of the affair.  She
wrote that she planned to break it off this trip at any rate.

   Dawn had actually written that she was going to tell Lynn about it all
in the hopes that it would cause her to find the strength to break it off
with her lover and come back to me.  She somehow felt that if Lynn or
someone was to know about it, Dawn would gather strength to quit.  She was
taking a huge chance that Lynn would still be her friend or worse that Lynn
wouldn't tell me.  She had honestly seen that didn't work, so now she was
going to stop it on this trip.

   It was two in the morning when we finally quit reading her diaries.  I
asked Lynn to spend the night, and she accepted.  She stayed in Sarah's old
bedroom while I went to bed in the guest bedroom.

   My whole life suddenly felt wrong.  My king sized bed sat there in our
master bedroom, teasing me it seemed at how fragile my life really was. 
How things I had thought were `count on them absolutes' were not.  I found
I couldn't stand to see Dawns things in our bedroom so I had to sleep in a
strange room.  I needed something that didn't have her things in it that
would cause me to think about her and amplify my fears.

   I slept roughly and found that I didn't feel rested at all the next
morning.  I woke up around ten and just laid in bed thinking.  My thoughts
weren't ordered as they usually were.  In fact my thoughts couldn't stay
focused on one single thing for any length of time at all.

   The knock on the door gave me some focus.

   "Hey sleepy head...you want some breakfast?  I'm making some eggs and
bacon and toast."

   Lynn's voice was muffled behind the door.

   "Hey Lynn.  Yeah.  I'll be down in a minute or two.  I want to shower up
first."

   "Okay.  Dave, you okay today?''

   I could hear the concern in her voice.  Lynn was a sweetie that was for
sure.  I'm not real sure how'd things would have gone so far without her
there to help me as she had.  I owed her a lot for everything she'd done so
far.

   "About as okay as I can be considering Lynn."

   "Yeah.  I figured that.  See you in a few then."

   After my shower I threw on some cut-offs and with a tank top draped over
my shoulder and a towel in hand to dry my hair, I headed off to the
kitchen. As I walked in Lynn glanced at me, then took a longer and deeper
second look.

   "What?"

   "I never realized that..."

   She stopped talking and just stared at me as I stood in front of the
refrigerator.  I was suddenly uncomfortable and looked down at myself.

   "Realized what Lynn?  What's wrong?  Do I have something showing or
hanging off of me that I should know about?"

   "Oh... no."

   She was blushing a brilliant red.  I wondered what was up.  Things were
suddenly different yet again.  I wasn't sure what was going on but I knew
that my having shown up dressed like I was had more than a little to do
with it.

   I suddenly realized that Lynn had never seen me in cut-offs only before.
I was thinking that there was something about me that was bugging her.

   "Uh, maybe I should go back upstairs and throw on more clothes or
something.  I may be a tad bit underdressed here."

   "Oh no.  You're fine.  I just haven't ever seen you in anything but
baggy work shirts and jeans before.  I didn't know that you had such a...I
mean, I never knew that your body was...Oh my God...I'm sorry Dave."

   She turned and ran from the room.  I was sitting there trying to
decipher what the hell had just gone on in my kitchen.  The eggs were still
frying in the pan so I got up and watched them cook.  The bacon was done
and the toast popped up just as Lynn came back into the kitchen.

   "I'm sorry Dave.  It's just I never thought of you in a way that I did
this morning and it all kind of hit me at once.  You are well built,
especially for a man your age.  You take care of yourself, and I didn't
expect that I guess."

   Now I was the one blushing.  Getting a compliment from a young and
beautiful woman like Lynn was more than enough to give me pause.  Was there
something starting here that I'd need to put a stop to or was Lynn just
being a buddy?  I couldn't tell yet and I sure didn't need any more issues
in my life at the moment.

   "Thank you.  I work out, and the shop helps to keep me in shape too. 
I've always tried to stay in shape as much as possible.  Don't want to end
up like other men my dad's age.  Fat and out of shape is no way to be, and
it's also unhealthy for people too."

   "Well, your body is in great shape.  To put it like some of my friends
would, you Dave are a hottie."

   She blushed as did I when she called me a `hottie'.  I just changed the
subject and hoped that this little...whatever it was would go away.

   "Eggs are ready.  Would you like some jam or jelly for the toast?"

   Lynn sat down as I served the food she had mostly cooked.  We ate and as
time went by we calmed down from our earlier conversation.  By the time we
were finished eating I knew that there was an attraction between us that I
hadn't seen before, or if I had seen it I had held it back out of the fore
front of my mind.

   Lynn left after breakfast and I was alone for the rest of the day.  I
let her take my car, since I had the truck yet too.  It was a Saturday and
I did the usual yard work all the while thinking about what moves I needed
to make on Monday.  I couldn't let Dawns indiscretion of the last year go
by without some kind of action on my part.

   The more I thought about things the more I knew that while we may
separate for a while, I didn't really want to divorce her.  After having
read her diaries and knowing pretty much what she was thinking all this
time, I knew that we were about to have one of the hardest times in our
marriage.

   In spite of her though, I knew that I loved her enough to want to try to
fix things between us.  I wasn't sure if we'd get that far though because
of her actions.  I had a lot to think about and I also knew I had to push
Dawn hard now for a while at least.

   She first of all had to get a little idea of the pain her cheating
caused me.  She also had to know that I wasn't some wimp or push over kind
of guy either.  She had to understand that if I forgave her this affair,
that if there was another one that would be all between us in that instant.
If I could only forgive her for this one that is.

   I wasn't so sure I'd be able to forgive her for her affair with this
Steve person and I wasn't so sure that my ideas on what she'd have to do to
begin the healing would go over with her at all.  In my mind I built a list
of things I'd require of her, and none of them were too much with the
exception of her job.

   I decided that if we were to stay together she'd have to quit her job.
Several reasons came to mind for me.  The biggest one was that her job had
set her up to have the affair in the first place.  The secondary reason was
that I'd not be too trusting of her for quite some time and she'd have a
long hard road to repair that trust too.  Her job required her to be out of
town on her own too much for my taste now.

   Her job had to go.  It had led to her cheating on me and it had covered
for her to have the time and place to cheat, so it was definitely out.  Of
course, knowing Dawn as I did, I knew that she'd fight tooth and nail about
leaving her partnership behind and doing something else at this stage of
our lives.

   I knew that after she got back next week our lives would be on edge.  I
wasn't sure how she'd take my demands, and I had a list of them after
having read her diaries.  She was going to either have to learn to love the
new me or she'd hate me totally.  There was no other way that I could see
though.  I also know that I have nothing to lose.

   Knowing that she was a lawyer and had lots of connections, I'd have to
work to find the right representation for me in case this went the divorce
route.  I also knew that if it went the divorce route Dawn would have some
of the best attorneys in the state working for her.

   I had to have an edge one way or the other.  I sat down and made up a
list of things to do on Monday and then Tuesday too.  I also knew that I'd
have to take some time from work if I could.  I'd need it one way or the
other.

   Later that night Dawn called me.

   "Hi sweetie.  How are you?  You didn't call me last night and I was
expecting it.  Is there something wrong?"

   "Oh hey there Dawn.  Something wrong?  NO.  I just had a hard day at
work and when I got home I hit the sack early.  How are things in Boston?
Are you and your client getting it done?  Got everything worked out between
you two?"

   There was a short pause after my question about her client.  I'd never
questioned her about her clients before, especially on the phone.  I just
couldn't resist the temptation to dig at her just a little bit, but I knew
that I couldn't go too far or she'd know that I had found her out.  I was
having a hard time just trying to sound normal as it was.

   "The client and I are doing fine.  Matter of fact I may be done a bit
early and get home a few days before I thought I would.  Are you okay Dave?
You sound...I don't know, tense maybe?  Why were you at work today anyway?"

   "I'm fine.  Just a long day doing the yard work.  Lots to do around here
to keep up with things, know what I mean?  Let something go too long and
bad things begin to happen.  If you let a little thing go, it can come back
to bite you on the ass real quick.  You can be fooled into thinking that
things are good when they're really about to fall all apart.  Just had a
lot of things to catch up on."

   Another dig and another pause on the phone.  This was by far the
quietest phone time we'd ever had.  I wasn't talking unless spoken to, and
she was probably trying to sound me out and get a feel for my mood.

   "Oh.  You know Dave maybe we should take a break next week or month and
go on a long vacation.  Just you and me.  We could go anywhere you'd like
to if you wanted.  Where would you like to go?"

   "How about Boston?  You know your way around there now and I've never
been there.  I'd like to see everything.  You could be my tour guide."

   Dead silence.

   "You there honey?  Dawn?" I was pressing now.

   "Yes.  I'm here.  Dave, is there something that you're upset about?  Is
there something wrong?"

   "No.  Not at all honey.  You said that we could take a vacation wherever
I wanted to go and I figured that Boston might be an interesting place to
visit.  You should know the best places to stay and go have fun at by now
having been there so much over the last year and all.  I thought why not?"

   I could sense her tension now.  She had to be wondering if I knew.  I'd
even bet that once she got off the phone with me she'd call Lynn and bounce
things off of her for a bit.  I had to make sure that couldn't happen.

   While our conversation was going on from that point on, I had my cell
phone on speed dial and was trying to get Lynn.  She picked up and I put
Dawn on speaker phone, without talking to Lynn.

   "So Dawn...you think you might finish up early?"

   I spoke loudly so that Lynn could tell I was on the phone with Dawn. 
Having Lynn on her phone meant that Dawn wouldn't be able to call her and I
had to talk to Lynn immediately after our conversation got over with.  I
had to make sure Lynn didn't give me away.

   "What?  Yes, that's what I said earlier Dave.  What's going on with you?
You're acting very strange."

   "Dawn, I have had a long day and weird things have gone on.  I'm just in
a mood I guess.  I'm sorry.  If you want I could call you tomorrow and I
will probably be in a far better mood then too."

   Another pause then she came back.

   "Yeah.  That might be a good idea Dave.  I'll call you though, okay? 
Dave, I love you...you know that...right?"

   "Of course I know all about that Dawn.  Take care."

   Hanging up I picked up the cell phone and heard Lynn.

   "Son of a bitch.  She's going to call me isn't she?  What did you tell
her Dave?"

   "I took a few digs at her, but not enough to let her know that I knew
about her affair.  Just enough to worry her maybe.  I think she is going to
call you soon though and I had to let you know that I don't want her to
know that I know about her affair yet.  Please Lynn...I know this isn't
fair, but you're in the middle of all this thanks to Dawn anyway..."

   "Dave, she won't find out from me that you know.  Matter of fact I'll
kind of hint that I'm holding it back from you.  She'll calm down and
probably think you were just in a bad mood.  After the last few days I
couldn't sell you out Dave.  I care too much for you to do that.  Dawn
broke my heart when she told me about Steve, and all I've thought about was
how unfair and hurtful this would be to you."

   "Thank you Lynn.  I know you care for me and I hope you know that I
think the world of you too.  I need to go to bed now.  Good luck on the
phone call.  She'll probably call you straight away I'd imagine."

   "Yeah, she will.  Goodnight Dave.  Sleep tight.  Love you and all that
stuff."

   Her words stopped me dead.  She'd never told me `love you' before.  I
knew that there were many things going on in undercurrents and Lynn sounded
like there may be more to that `love you' than just a friendly kind of
thing.  It worried me.

   The next morning I finished up the yard work around the house and then
went for a run.  When I got home Lynn was on the front porch with two large
cold ice teas in her hands.

   "Hey there Dave.  I brought your car back and figured you might want a
cold drink.  Take a long run?"

   "Yeah.  Three miles early this morning.  Five just now.  A bit lower
than usual but I had some yard work to get done too."

   "Wow.  I never knew you ran so much either.  You really take working out
seriously don't you?"

   "Yeah.  I do.  No big deal really.  I just work out by lifting one
weight and then another.  Run pretty much the same way, one foot out, then
the other.  It all comes together.  Eventually."

   "Why didn't I know this about you anyway?"

   "Never came up.  My workouts are usually done in the mornings before I
go to work, and you're never around then.  My running...well, you and Dawn
would be out so you probably never knew I ran either."

   "I noticed yesterday that you seem to be in pretty good shape.  Do you
think you could give me some work out pointers?  On weights I mean."

   Her blush was amusing yet frightening.  I could see where this was
headed and I wasn't sure it would be a good idea.  I couldn't see me
fighting fire with fire as far as Dawn's cheating went.  Two wrongs don't
make a right and I wasn't going to go there if I could help it.  Now
though, with Lynn standing right there looking like she did...I could see
an issue developing that could change everything.

   "I'm not sure that my giving you pointers on weights would be a good
idea right now.  Maybe after things all get settled out?"

   "Yeah.  That's probably a good idea.  After...everything gets settled."

   I could see disappointment on her face, but I also saw something like
anticipation too.

   `She is far too young for me.' I kept telling myself that, but it was
getting harder and harder to hear myself over the din of lust and need that
was building up inside me.

   "So what brings you by my humble abode other than returning my car?"

   "I thought you may want to talk about your plans for this week.  I'll be
available to help you in whatever you'd need me to do.  I can even take
some time from work and..."

   "Lynn, they need you there right now.  When I go in tomorrow and ask for
the next two or three weeks off, they'll really need you there.  You are
the one engineer that knows what the hell's going on around that shop, and
you are the only management type that Bill or the other people in the shop
will listen to anyway.  You'll need to be there."

   "But you'll need my help.  Dave, I can't let you face this all alone.  I
care too much for you..."

   "That's been worrying me too Lynn.  I get a feeling that you may
actually feel more for me than I'm capable of accepting...right now at
least.  First of all, there's our age difference and then there's the fact
that you're Dawns friend too.  Besides, I may want to try to salvage what I
can with Dawn.  I don't want you hurt in the process."

   "You can't hurt me Dave.  How could you tell anyway?"

   "I wasn't sure at first, but last night...after thinking about it...I
knew."

   "Then you should know that I do love you.  Yes, in that way.  If you'd
ask me, I'd go anywhere and do anything you wanted.  Anything.  Its how I
feel and I can't help it.  I love you too much to let you be hurt like
this. It kills me to know how Dawn has treated your love for her."

   "Lynn, you're a beautiful and very appealing young woman.  I have often
wished that I were twenty years younger and single...honestly.  I just
can't help but think that the situation right now isn't conducive to `us'.
I don't want to do something with you that I may regret if Dawn and I got
back together.  I also don't think that `us' would work out at work.  I'm
not sure if we'd get along in other things and be able to make it work for
us.  As much as I want to grab you right now and run...I know logically
that would be one of the worst things we could do.  I care for you Lynn,
and right now with my mind the way it is, I don't think I'd be a good
person for you to tie up with.  Maybe, if Dawn and I split up and
divorced...later on...I'd love to ask you out and date you.  Maybe even
fall more into love and do the rest of it all too...but not now, not like
this."

   "More in love with me?  Then you do love me?  Dawn is the biggest fool
on earth!  She has a great man like you and she's taking this terrible
chance...she has to know that she could lose you over this.  She has to
know that she's acted horribly...she has.  And you...Dave...are the most
upstanding kind of man I've ever known.  You know you could have me in an
instant yet you are holding true to your marital vows until the bitter end.
God I love you so much."

   Lynn pressed up against me and locked her lips on mine.  Hugging me hard
for a moment she then broke away and ran not walked, down the sidewalk and
out of sight.  I saw tears in her eyes as she broke away from me and my
heart twisted in a painful manner.  I was torn to run after her, and not.
That indecision let her get away.

   This had been one hell of a weekend.  The most eye opening and eventful
one I could ever recall.  Monday would bring changes for me.  Hard changes.
I hoped I was up to those changes.

   In my mind I had made some harder decisions.  The first was the legal
part, that of a separation.  I wasn't going to go for a divorce yet. 
Legally separating would give Dawn and me time we needed to see if we even
wanted to be together anymore or not.

   I knew that most separations ended in divorce, but I had to know in my
mind that I still loved Dawn enough to want to fix things.  If not, we
needed to get divorced.  Both of us had to feel the same way about each
other, and I truly didn't know how I felt at the moment.  I really didn't
know how Dawn would feel about me after my ultimatums were delivered.

   The next three days flew by and though I had to take time off, I still
took care of some issues.  Lynn called me several times a day.  Either with
work issues or about Dawn and I.  In the mean time I had got back into
touch with the Private investigator I hired on Friday, checking to see if
they had gotten anything yet.

   They assured me that if something was going on they'd find out about it,
though they really would have liked a longer timeframe to deal with.  In
the end, the promise that I'd pay whatever they wanted to get what I needed
over the next six days helped.  I was curious if they had found anything
out over the weekend.

   The lawyers were a tougher issue.  I searched around and finally called
up a family law lawyer firm that was located out of town.  They had been
recommended to me by several people, and after ensuring that they had no
connections with Dawns firm or co-workers, I went with them.  They drew up
the necessary papers for a separation agreement and just in case, I had
them on retainer working on divorce papers as well.

   At home I packed a bunch of Dawns things together and began stacking
them in the garage.  She'd be the one out.  Not me.  I'd worked too long
and too hard to purchase this house and make it a home, and I'd be damned
if I'd give it up in a divorce.  Besides, I felt that if Dawn realized all
she could lose, she may think harder about what she could potentially lose
if we ended up divorced.

   Wednesday turned up cloudy and almost chilly.  Dawn had called me on
Tuesday night saying that she'd be staying for the full week this week.  I
knew that the detectives were to call me and set up what they had to be
sent to me and to my lawyers today sometime, so her late night call last
night had only fed the flames in my heart.

   I drove over to the next city and picked up the paperwork on our
separation from my lawyers, later I stopped by work on my way home for a
minute.  There I found the shop running smoothly and professionally as
always.  Lynn was at my desk and involved in some drawings when I peeked
around the corner.

   "WOW...leave for a few days and look who's taking over my desk."

   "Dave!  I'm so glad to see you.  Can we talk later?  It's about...Dawn."

   "Yeah.  My place...whenever.  I'll be home with no plans on going out or
anything."

   "I'll see you after work then."

   She had stood up when I came into the office and as I turned to leave
she jumped up into my arms and kissed me.  A little hug and then she sat
back down.

   "Whoa...what was that for?"

   "Just wanted you to know I still feel the same way.  About you. 
About...us."

   Luckily nobody saw us kissing or hugging, but it was a close thing. 
Bill walked into the office only seconds after Lynn sat down.

   "Hey, I thought you were on vacation Dave.  What's up?"

   "Just stopped by to check you out you old reprobate."

   "Old?!  You're the old reprobate.  I'm the young man of the shop. 
Especially with Lynn here.  Man, you could stay away as far as I'm
concerned.  She's far easier on the eyes than you have ever been.  Smells
better too."

   Lynn winked at me and smiled.  Bill was laughing a bit as he shook my
hand.  I left knowing that the shop was in good hands.  My drive home had
me wondering what Lynn wanted to tell me.  Evidently Dawn had called her. I
was curious as to what that was about.

   At home the phone was ringing.  It was the detective agency.

   "Mr.  Jameson?"

   "Yeah, this is Dave."

   "We have what you need.  I've emailed you the report and some jpeg's,
but the real report and DVD's of what we got is coming via the U S Postal
service, express.  You should have it tomorrow according to the shipping
papers.  Uh...you may want to make sure you're all right in the
head...before you look at what we sent you.  Do you have someone that can
be close by for you should you need them?"

   "That bad huh?"

   "Yeah.  We're used to this stuff, but our clients never are.  For them
is the first and worst.  For us it's just another day in the city."

   "I have someone that will be here.  I'm sure I'll handle it...okay."

   "Well, thank you for your business, sorry it turned out as it did."

   I sat down thinking that I should open my email up...then decided it
could wait until later.  I just couldn't bring myself to look at Dawn at
the moment, especially if she was doing something that we both knew she
shouldn't be doing.

   A little later I heard Lynn walk in.  We had long ago gotten away from
her knocking at our door so that's how I knew it was Lynn.  Had it been
Dawn there'd have been yelling that she was home and how much she'd missed
me...as if.

   "Dave?  You here?"

   "In the kitchen Lynn."

   "Hi.  How you holding up?"

   "Got the report from the detectives a bit ago.  Haven't looked at it
yet. They said `thanks for your business, sorry it turned out this way' so
I expect it's not going to be a good thing."

   "We knew that already though Dave.  So...shall we go look at it then?"

   "I guess.  I really don't want to see her...doing...it.  I guess it will
come eventually though so we might as well get on with it."

   I was resigned to my fate now.  Lynn seemed upbeat in spite of it all
and I had to wonder about that.  Once online and in my email account my
worst fears surfaced.  Seeing Dawn in the arms of another man,
naked...killed me.  At first I raged...then I actually cried...then I just
felt numb.  The rage soon returned though and suddenly I wished I'd pushed
for the divorce instead of the separation.

   Lynn was there beside me through it all.  She hugged me, cried with me,
and even raged with me.  Yet, she held something back too.  There was
something she knew that she wasn't telling me.  Then she began her story.

   "You know, Dawn called me Monday night.  She was worried about you and
was asking how you'd been lately.  I told her you'd seemed preoccupied
about something.  She didn't like that, but she didn't know what you would
have been preoccupied about.  Even though she told me that she'd been doing
what she'd been doing with that jerk in Boston, she didn't seem to want to
bring it up with me again."

   "That's strange.  I mean, she told you about it then she seems to want
to forget that you know?"

   "That's not all.  Towards the end of the call she said that she thought
you may know something was up with her in Boston."

   "What did you tell her then?"

   "I told her that she would deserve whatever happened if you found out
about her and her lover...but that I didn't think that that was what was
preoccupying you."

   "What was preoccupying me then Lynn?"

   "I didn't tell her this, but I think I've been preoccupying you."

   "Oh really?"

   "Yes really.  I think that you're afraid to let go with me.  I think
that you think I'll be hurt if we do something together...say like...fuck.
I think that you're afraid that you may have stronger feelings for me than
I could for you.  I think that you're afraid that our age difference would
ensure that we'd never have a chance.  I think that you just have a full
plate thinking about us and Dawn is becoming secondary to it all now."

   I was stunned.  This was a Lynn I didn't know.  She shocked me with
saying the word `fuck' then drove her points home ever so forcefully.  I
didn't think she was fully correct though.  Dawn wasn't secondary yet, but
for Lynn to have acted and said what she just had, she had to feel that
way.

   "So.  That's what you think then?"

   "Dave, come on.  You know you've looked at me in `that' way a few times
lately.  You know that I love you and want you...yes...I desire you.  You
can't deny that.  Can you?"

   "All right.  You're right about my desires.  But I'm still married and
you may think that Dawn is secondary, but she's not.  She's right square in
the middle of all of this.  She's cheated on me, yes, but she's also been
my wife for a long time.  Long enough that I feel that I have to give her a
chance to come clean and then make amends."

   "Yet, you really would like to fuck my eyeballs out wouldn't you?  You'd
love to have my hot lips around your cock, sucking you off, right?  You'd
love to lick my pussy and then move up and stick your hard cock into me
wouldn't you?  Well?  Wouldn't you?"

   I was stunned.  Never had Lynn talked like this around me.  I could
hardly put together my response to her on that, messed up as my mind was.

   "Two wrongs don't make a right."

   I was desperate.

   "Loving me and fucking me are wrong?"

   I struggled for a response.

   "When I'm married to someone else?  Yes."

   "After what she's done to you, in spite of your love and affections for
her, you can stand there and refuse me?"

   She wasn't playing fair at all.  Lynn was doing a full court press and I
was unprepared for such an event.

   "I have to."

   Lynn moved back and started to unbutton her top.  She had a look in her
eyes that spoke volumes.

   "Lynn, please...don't.  We can't do this.  It won't be right.  I'm
married, regardless of what Dawn has done."

   Her top floated to the floor and she reached back undoing her bra.

   "Lynn, really, we can't.  Yes, you're an attractive and desirable woman.
I just can't break my vows."

   Her hands moved away from her body and as her bra fell off to one side
her breasts bounced and swayed with the movement of her body.

   "Oh God.  Lynn, please.  We can't do this.  I'm old enough to be your
father.  I'm married..."

   "Dave, I can see that I'm turning you on.  You're allowed lover.  You
are allowed."

   Her hands were on her jean buttons.  As they came undone, one at a time
I could only watch her from where I sat.  I glanced at the computer where I
saw my wife in the arms of another man and they were obviously enjoying
themselves sexually.  I licked my lips, unconsciously thinking of
something...I wasn't sure what.

   "Dave...look at me.  Tell me you don't want me."

   I turned to see a totally naked Lynn.  Her flat toned belly, shaved
pussy, firm enticing breasts all begging for my lips and tongue.  Her arms
went out as if to draw me into her center.  Standing there in front of me
shamelessly showing me that what I desired was there and ready to take.

   "Lynn, we can't."

   My desperation must have shown as Lynn smiled and started to stalk
towards me.  I couldn't help but watch her body move, breasts swaying, hips
twisting, her small slit all wet and shiny in the light of the room and her
arms still up and out towards me.  Looking into her eyes I could only see a
woman in the depths of desire.  Desire for a man...not any man, but this
man.  Me.

   Age differences had slipped away.  My marriage was slipping away.  In my
mind, suddenly I realized that I truly did want Lynn in `that' way and I
knew it was about to happen.  Lynn saw it in my eyes the instant I admitted
it to myself.  My surrender was almost complete.

   Almost.

   She saw that in my eyes too.  Suddenly she was kissing me hard.  In
between kisses she babbled on and on.  She was fighting as she only knew
she could.

   "I knew it.  I knew you'd love me.  You love me I can see it in your
eyes.  I knew that if I came over and we did it that you'd see it.  I knew
it."

   I felt a sharp pain in my heart at that moment.  Guilt coupled with the
love I was feeling for Lynn and the love I still held in my heart for Dawn
was overwhelmingly crushing me.  I moved to get up and ended up falling
onto the floor in front of the couch.  I sat there, Lynn on my lap still,
my head in my hands.

   "Oh God.  What have I done?  What am I doing?  Oh God."

   "We're just going to make love Dave, that's all."

   "It`s wrong.  I have no right.  It's all wrong."

   I struggled to get up.  What had I almost done?  I'd messed up
everything.  I was scared now.  Afraid that Lynn would treat me
differently. Afraid that I'd tossed away my marriage...afraid of what the
future held.  Then I realized...Lynn and I hadn't done it yet, but if we
had, I had no protection.

   She could get pregnant.  I could be a father in the making again, if we
did what we were headed towards doing right now.  What would my kids think?
What would they say?  What would Dawn think?  My co-workers?  I couldn't
even marry her and make it somewhat right either...I was already married!

   In the middle of my train-wreck, Lynn got up and began to hug me close
to her nakedness.

   "It's all right Dave.  First of all, I'm on the pill, can't get
pregnant. Secondly, I know you're married and we'll work that all out as it
comes.  If you and Dawn stay together, then that will be it.  If you end up
divorced, then we can see where we head to and end up.  There's nothing
wrong with what we do Dave.  You have to know that.  You wouldn't ever do
this if there'd been no reason to.  Dawn gave up the reason and her rights
to you, and I'm damned glad she did now.  Not that I wanted her to hurt you
or anything...but damn...you are a man and a half.  I want you to be my
man."

   "It's not all right Lynn.  It is all wrong.  We should never..."

   "You don't love me then?"

   "NO...I do love you...it's..."

   "You love me, I love you.  Yes, you're married, but your wife has been
cheating on you for a year.  A YEAR Dave.  One whole fucking year."

   "IT'S wrong Lynn.  We shouldn't do this.  Damn.  DAMN.  DAMN IT DAWN. 
See where we are now?  God damn it!"

   I collapsed back onto the couch.

   Lynn was holding me close, hugging me tightly and smoothing my hair.  I
saw the tears in her eyes and thought that I had hurt her somehow.  I
started to apologize.

   "I'm so sorry Lynn.  I don't know what to say other than I'm so sorry. I
took advantage..."

   "YOU didn't.  I did.  I took advantage.  You were all mixed up.  You are
weakened and I know it.  I took advantage.  NOT YOU.  ME.  I want you so
much...so damn bad...I...I did it.  I pushed you into it and I may have
messed up everything now.  I'm so sorry Dave.  I love you and I had
to...try."

   She buried her head into my chest and cried.  I felt bad.  I felt...love
and pain.  All at once I was feeling so many things that my head was about
to explode.  The ringing of the phone almost went by without either of us
hearing it such was our state.

   Holding a naked young woman in my lap in the state of mind I was in
didn't prepare me for what happened next.

   "Hello!"

   I yelled it into the phone.  I was angry, sexually tense, and also on
the edge of doing something very stupid.

   "Dave?  What's wrong?  You sound upset."

   Hearing her voice made me cold and still inside.  Suddenly my anger
boiled up and ran all over the place.  I started out sarcastically, but
finished in pure hate.

   "Oh, it's you.  Yes, I am just a wee bit upset Dawn.  I think you know
the reason why I am upset too.  At least, you should know.  Come what may,
I loved you with my whole heart, and you stamped all over it.  God damn
you. Double God Damn you, you whore."

   I slammed the phone down and sat next to Lynn, holding her in my arms.
The phone started to ring again and I jerked the cord out and threw the
whole thing across the room where it hit a door jam and blew into pieces.
Thousands of pieces.

   "Can you ever forgive me Dave?"

   "There's nothing for me to forgive you for Lynn.  You did what you felt
had to do, and I came this far with you.  I know that I love you.  I may
not be married much longer and I don't know what will happen.  If...and
this is a very big if, but if Dawn comes home and says and does the right
things immediately, I may stay with her.  I doubt she'll do that though. 
I'm really not sure who she is anymore.  I don't want to hurt you, nor do I
want to keep you waiting in the hopes that we'll divorce.  You're young and
you should be with someone more your age.  As much as I love you and as
much as I know I'm being stupid right now...you need to back off as do I.
We need space and time to see what happens and where we'll end up."

   "I'll wait forever for you Dave.  You're the only man for me...I know
that now.  I'll wait forever."

   "Don't say it.  Don't say that.  Lynn, things change.  You'll change. 
There may be no `us' after things settle down."

   "If you leave her...you'll at least give me a chance to prove my love
for you?"

   "You've already done that Lynn.  Days ago.  You have no need to prove
anything to me.  I need to be able to prove to you... that's the thing.  If
we are to be...it will come to pass.  You have to believe that.  In the
mean time...you need to live your life.  I can't promise anything right
now. I need to cool my feelings, my emotions and at least talk things out
with Dawn first."

   "I understand Dave.  I really do."

   She hugged me close, kissing me softly.  I kissed her back, holding her
tightly in my arms.  I knew that I loved her too much at that moment.  I
also knew that I still had love for Dawn.  I had hard choices to make and
now that Dawn knew that I knew about her affair, those choices could be
easier or tougher.  I didn't know.

   Surprisingly, Dawn was home the next day.  Evidently her `client'
settled for what they had done and let her go.  She came in, eyes red,
tears still on her cheeks.  She was barely able to talk.

   "Y-y-y-ou know."

   A statement.  Flat and dead in the silence of the house.

   "Yes.  Found out a little bit ago.  You knew she'd tell me...didn't
you?"

   "I guess I hoped more than knew.  I was doing you wrong...and there is
no excuse."

   "You got that right at least."

   "I still love you, believe it or not.  I'll do anything to keep you. 
Anything."

   "That's the second time this week I've heard that.  I believe the other
person that told me that over you right now."

   I saw the confusion on her face.  She wasn't aware of Lynn...yet.  I
wasn't to say any more about her either.  That would be up to Lynn, or if
things didn't work out between us, it would just `be' when we were seen out
together at some point.  If Lynn and I became an item, I would not hide
anything from anyone.

   "So what happens now Dave?"

   "I've filed for a separation."

   "Separation?  Not divorce?"

   I could hear the hope in her question.

   "Don't get your hopes up dear.  Separations usually end in divorce,
those are the odds.  You know that.  I think that you have a lot of
thinking to do, as do I.  I can't think with your...presence in my home. 
You'll need to move somewhere else while the separation goes on.  Perhaps
your parents place?"

   "Understood."

   "I only have one...question.  Your diaries didn't cover it too well."

   "My diaries?  You read them?  You read my diaries?"

   I was surprised by the sudden anger that surfaced in her voice.

   "After what I found out, of course I did.  I had to know in your
words...from your heart...what you were thinking.  After all, what if you
lied to me about loving me too?"

   "NO...DON"T EVER SAY THAT.  I LOVE YOU.  I do love you.  I'm not lying
about that.  I do love you more than anything in the world."

   "Anything...but not anyONE."

   "NO...there is nobody I love like I love you.  You're the only man I
love Dave.  Please...believe..."

   "A liar?"

   I began to quote some of the things she'd said to me over the last year.


   " `Dave, I have to go to Boston for work...a client needs my help.'
`Dave...I'm off to Boston again.  It will be a week long deal this time.'
`Sorry honey, I have to be in Boston for the next two weeks.' At what point
were you going to just leave and not come back Dawn?  Do you really believe
that he'd want someone who so easily cheated on her first husband for a
wife?  You're supposed to be an educated person yet you've acted like your
brain has been surgically removed or something."

   "How much more do you know?"

   Dawn had collapsed on the couch where I'd almost had my only marital
affair.  I was surprised she couldn't sense it yet.

   "How much more do you think I know?  I hired detectives.  DETECTIVES for
CHRIST'S SAKE.  To spy on my wife.  My loving almost-a-nun wife.  Not only
is my wife not celibate, she's a God-damned whore for some asshole in
Boston, meanwhile her and her `bible' are helping her to keep me, my family
and our friends and coworkers in the dark.  You're a real piece of work
Dawn.  You intentionally went out of your way to keep me in the dark along
with everyone else, and have your cake...your lover...too."

   She was crying hard now.  Suddenly I realized that if I kept up my anger
I could possibly end up feeling nothing for her.  Before, to see her crying
like this would have cut me to the bone...my soul would have been in deep
pain.  It was an enlightening time for me.  I knew then that where we were
headed could be a very dark place.  I couldn't forgive and forget.  It was
too much...it may have gone too far.  There was possibly no road back
because Dawn may have destroyed the bridge between us almost completely.

   "I was thinking the other day that we might be able to fix things Dawn.
I just now realized that may not be possible.  What I felt and thought for
you has left me, at least for right now.  You're someone I don't know...a
stranger.  I don't know when it happened, but you fell out of love with
me...and then you intentionally went out of your way to keep your tawdry
affair a secret."

   "NO!  I've never fallen out of love with you.  This affair has killed me
the whole time.  I love you so much, and I know I've hurt you but..."

   I was having a hard time keeping myself in check but I tried.

   "You never had any intention of quitting this affair with him.  Matter
of fact, I think you were looking for a way to make me the bad guy and
divorce you all along.  Is that it Dawn?  You wanted a divorce but couldn't
face the seriousness of facing me with it, so you set me up to be the bad
guy and have to ask for it due to...your cheating?  Or were you hoping I'd
cheat on you after I found out and then you'd have ammunition to shoot me
down with it?  I'll bet that's it.  In either case, you're about to get
your divorce.  I've filed for separation, but I may be going to change over
from the separation to the divorce tomorrow morning.  My lawyers should
have it all ready to go anyway."

   "NO, please not that Dave.  I don't want to lose you.  I don't want a
divorce.  I'm...I'm sorry Dave.  You didn't deserve this.  I do love you
though.  You know that if you read my diaries.  Please, don't throw away
all our years together over this.  One chance, that's all I'm asking for.
It just happened, at a time that had too many things going on to be able to
see what it was I was doing to you...to us.  You're the one I want Dave,
nobody else.  I broke it off with him...last night.  Please...PLEASE."

   "Yeah.  You love me...but not enough.  Not enough to have been a good
wife...not enough to have given me that bit of yourself you gave him...not
enough to fight off temptation and stay faithful.  Can't you see that what
you did with him during this last year was taken, STOLEN...from me?  From
the two of us?  Is there an `us' anymore?  You've never had an equal sexual
drive to mine, yet you managed to do this?  Because why?  WHY Dawn?  Why?
You know what?  You need to pack your things and get the hell out.  I'm
leaving, I'll be back in an hour or so.  You need to be packed and gone
before then."

   I turned and left.  Walking out was one of the hardest things I'd ever
done, but I had it to do.  My state was one of anger and hate.  That hate
scared me to death.  I loved her, yet I hated her all at one foul time.  I
could hear Dawn behind me as I the door closed, begging me to stay and
talk. In my mind all I could think was, `What is there to talk about?  It's
over...done.'

   I got back a few hours later.  Dawn and her things were gone.  I checked
the garage and saw that most of her stuff was still there, but she'd taken
a few boxes I'd put there.  I went back inside and sat at my desk.  I
wasn't thinking.  I was numb.

   I asked myself how had my life gotten so messed up so fast?  It was hard
for me to realize that only two weeks ago I'd been a happily married man,
life was great, I had a great wife, a wonderful home, and good friends. 
Tonight I was on the verge of losing it all.  My whole life felt like it
had become some kind of fantasy nightmare.

   Was life always such a thing?  Was life just illusions that are crushed
with reality every so often?  Was man meant to be unhappy even in the best
of times?

   I remembered holding a naked Lynn on my lap only a short time ago and
just the thought caused my cock to stir.  I'd actually held a young,
beautiful woman, naked in my arms, on my lap, and refused to do anything
sexual with her.  I'd held to my vows, why in the hell hadn't Dawn held to
hers?  I just couldn't understand what had happened to her.

   I didn't sleep at all that night.

   The next morning Lynn stopped by on her way to work.  I could see things
in her eyes.  Un-asked questions, love, caring, and a host of other things
too.  It was an awkward visit.

   "Hey Dave.  Thought I'd stop by and check on you."

   "Morning Lynn.  Kind of out of the way for you isn't it?"

   "No.  Not when someone cares for somebody like I care for you.  How'd
things go last night?"

   "She's moved out.  Took her things and left.  I don't know where to, and
to be quite honest right now, I don't really care."

   "Yes you do.  You love her Dave.  I can see the pain in your heart just
by looking into your eyes."

   "Well, it does hurt Lynn.  You know."

   "I know."

   "Have a good day at work, okay?"

   "I will.  Are you going to be all right?  You know what?  I think you
need to get out tonight and have dinner somewhere.  How's about I stop by
after work and we go out to that little Mexican café' down by the ball
fields?"

   "I don't think I'll be much fun."

   "We can talk.  Dave, I'm here for you, but you have to want to help
yourself in this too.  Dawn cheated on you and you need to figure out what
it is you want to do.  I'll help you though I'll be honest with you too...I
care for you more than a little.  You know that.  I'll try to be as honest
and straight forward as I can, but I can't promise that I won't throw
myself at you every chance I get either.  Just so you know."

   "That's why I don't think it would be a good idea for us to be together
much Lynn.  I love you too much to hurt you.  I'm afraid that if Dawn and I
get back together, you'll be hurt.  I can't stomach the thought of my doing
something that would hurt you like that."

   "So what...we avoid each other until things are either fixed or not?  We
pretend that we don't care for each other?  We pretend that our love for
each other is just...nothing?  I can't do that.  I care for you and I know
you're hurting.  I know you've been terribly hurt by Dawn."

   "I'm still married.  I still love her...damn.  DAMN - IT!"

   I was getting mad and my outburst was unexpected by Lynn.  She shook as
my shout came out.  I was immediately sorry, but what was done was done.

   "I'm sorry Lynn.  I'm about to explode and I need to do something to
work it out of my system before I do.  Tell you what, how about we have
dinner at that restaurant day after tomorrow.  Sound good?"

   I wanted her to know it wasn't her I was angry at.  I also wanted to
still be her friend and I did want to talk with her about Dawn.  Of
everyone we knew, Lynn knew Dawn the best.  Even though I knew that Lynn
was in love with me, I also knew that she'd be honest to me in spite of her
feelings for me.

   "Promise you'll call if you get down too much?"

   "Yeah.  I promise."

   "Okay, I'll stop by and you can take me out day after tomorrow."

   "Sounds like a...plan."

   I'd almost said `date' even though that's what it was I wasn't ready to
admit that yet.  In the state of mind I was in, it was important to me to
keep thinking positive and that Dawn and I would fix things between us.

   Sleep never came to me that night.  I finally got up and sat in my dark
office and just stewed over life.  I hoped that Dawn was having as rough a
time sleeping as I was too.  It would serve her right.

   Around four in the morning I dressed out for a run.  Running seemed to
help me put some things back in my mind and after a few miles I was feeling
a bit better.  Not totally well, but better.  After six miles I got back
home and then went straight into my gym and worked out.

   I over did it.  I worked out for three hours, sweating enough to float a
battleship.  As my jell-o like arms finally got the weights back on the
rack I knew some things about myself.  I knew what direction I wanted to go
in and I knew that Dawn was going to have a hard time holding onto me now.
I'd still try, but there would be no more Mr.  Nice Guy.

   Spending the rest of the day in the yard doing some odd jobs helped me
to put a plan together.  The mailman delivered a package that afternoon,
and it was the whole report from the detectives I'd hired in Boston.

   After reading and viewing what they had, I was surprised at how I felt.
My anger, that had almost caused me to need to kill a person, had died down
to irritation that Dawn had been so stupid.  Her lover Steve was a guy that
had several women on a string, and Dawn was just another conquest in a line
of conquests.

   He targeted...if that is what one would call it, married women.  The
detectives had investigated him before in two other instances, and they'd
mentioned them without details, but in a character review kind of thing. 
When Dawn wasn't there the detectives felt that he had two other women on
the hook to fill up the time gap.  I hoped that Dawn hadn't gotten some
kind of STD or AIDS from this creep.

   Things that a faithful person never thinks about until faced with a
cheater.  Love, and giving it to another.  Sexually transmitted disease. 
Looks.  `Size' issues.  Quality issues.  Style issues.  What did they give
to their lover that they never gave to me?  And the most troubling one, for
me anyway, was WHY?

   The more I thought the more came to light.  Of course, the more I hated
what Dawn had done to us now to.  She'd really opened up a huge can of
worms.  I had a battle to fight whether or not we remained married now. 
Dawn had really cut the feet out from under me and I felt inadequate, old,
boring, and unloved.  Insecurities abounded where there'd never even been
an inkling of doubt before.

   Dawn on the other hand had a huge battle to fight to overcome all these
questions I had, and to regain my trust, if it could be regained that was.
I knew that her career was going to be an issue, and I wasn't sure if I
placed high enough in her view to be worth keeping over her career.  I knew
that I'd be finding out soon though.

   That night I slept for a while, but still not restful.  In the morning I
woke to a door being opened.

   "Dave?  You up and about?"

   "Yeah.  I'm still in bed Lynn.  Just a second I'll be out..."

   I had jumped out of bed, naked.  I sleep in the nude as it's more
comfortable for me.  Reaching for my pants I heard the bedroom door open.
Looking over my shoulder I saw Lynn staring at me.

   "Oh my.  You do have a cute butt.  Very, very nice.  Your equipment is
pretty impressive too."

   "Lynn, I'm naked here.  I'll be out in a moment."

   I was blushing.  Seeing her stare at my nakedness un-nerved me deeply. I
could see her nipples hardening as she gawked at me, and those swelling
nipples were causing a swelling on me that I couldn't hide naked as I was.

   "Oh...wow.  It really gets big when you get excited too.  I can just..."

   "LYNN...PLEASE.  OUTSIDE...right now young lady."

   She stood there, staring at me.  My cock was getting harder, and since
it was already mostly hard from the usual morning piss hard-on, it didn't
take much to get hard.  I turned my back to Lynn and began to pull on my
pants.

   Lynn meanwhile, slipped up behind me and as I struggled with my jeans,
her hands found my shaft.

   "It's so hot.  So...hard.  Dave, you have to share this with me.  It's
the biggest one I've ever seen in person.  I never knew you were
so...large. Damn."

   I pulled away, causing her to swear at losing contact with my cock. 
Yanking my jeans up the last bit and getting them buttoned took only a few
seconds as I franticly worked at keeping out of Lynn's reach.

   "Lynn, we've talked about this.  I can't do anything.  I'm still married
and I am planning on staying faithful until the bitter end.  You know this,
and you know we can't...go there."

   "Yeah.  I know.  But damn...you're making it hard on a girl, you know
Dave?  First you have a great body...all hard, defined, and frankly, hot.
Now I see the size of cock you have too.  If I didn't know better I'd say
you were teasing me on purpose."

   "I'm not teasing you and you know it.  You might be teasing me, but I'm
not teasing you."

   "Me?  Tease you?  Why how you talk Dave.  You'd think that by the way
you're talking that I've intentionally stripped naked and offered you
something."

   Her eyes were full of mischievous deviltry.  She kept staring at my
crotch, and licking her lips.  Then I noticed she was undoing her blouse
buttons.

   "NO.  Lynn, no.  Stop that.  You need to get into work and I have some
things I need to do.  LYNN...stop that.  Quit undoing those..."

   She paid no attention to me.  Her fingers were inside her half
unbuttoned blouse, playing with her nipples through her very shear bra. 
Licking her lips she glanced into my eyes.

   "You really shouldn't tease a girl like this Dave.  I think you need to
take those pants off and lay on the bed.  I have some needs that you have
to take care of now."

   "NO.  I won't."

   "Oh Dave...come on.  It's not like you don't deserve it...you do. 
You've been great so far, but now it's time to get a little back.  I'm
willing to be the one to help you do that too.  It'll be fun.  For both of
us...I promise."

   Softly, and gently I spoke.

   "Not like this.  Not right now.  Lynn, I want you, and you are very
aware of that fact.  I'm also still married and you are also aware of that
too.  I can't, and I won't.  Even if it's the dumbest thing I ever do in my
life, I have to hold to my vows.  You know that.  You understand why. 
Don't tease me...please?"

   Pouting, she pulled her hands out of her blouse.

   "Okay.  You're right Dave.  I know better.  But damn..."

   "Afterwards...if we get divorced...then we'll see.  I promise I'll give
you first shot at me Lynn.  If that's what you want that is."

   "Oh baby, I won't let you down either.  I do want first shot.  First and
last.  Once you've become free I'll do whatever it takes to catch you and
keep you.  THAT'S a PROMISE."

   You know what?  I believed her.

   That afternoon Dawn called me wanting to set up a date to talk to each
other about everything.  I agreed and told her that she could come over
right away and we'd talk for a bit.  I warned her that I might be angry and
yell.  She accepted and told me she deserved that at the very least.

   She showed up dressed very conservatively.  Once I saw her dressed as
she was I had an unreasoned anger towards her.  She'd been dressing far
more sexily for her lover than she ever had for me, and now she shows up
dressed like a nun almost.  She could dress sexy for him but not for me?

   I know it's unreasonable of me, but still it hurt.  To know she'd dress
plain Jane for me like this when she'd been way more wild with him dug at
me.  To be fair, I knew that she dressed `normal' for me.  She was probably
not sure how I'd react to a sexy Dawn, or perhaps, she didn't want to start
a fire where it wasn't necessary.  Still, it burned my ass that she dressed
like that.

   "Cup of coffee?"

   "Yeah.  Please."

   We were in the kitchen.  Dawn had sat where she'd usually sat for the
last years.  I poured her coffee and then sat down across from her.

   "First of all, I'm so sorry Dave.  I am truly sorry.  I know that isn't
much and it probably sounds hollow, but I never meant to hurt you.  I never
meant for you to ever have known either.  It was over on this trip, before
I even went.  Steve and I...it was just sex.  That's all."

   "That's all?  Oh my, that's such a relief to me.  I know that you
probably wouldn't want to bother me with offering yourself to me like you
did him.  Dressing sexy for him and not for me so I couldn't be embarrassed
by you.  I'm so glad that you thought well enough of me to not bother me
with extra or great sex over the last year.  That you don't feel you have
to dress special for me either."

   "Don't be that way."

   "You started it.  You sit there and say that you love me and that you're
sorry.  I have no way of knowing that you're being honest or not.  You say
that it was over when you went there...if it was, why did you feel a need
to do him each day all two weeks?  If you knew it was over when you left
home to go there, you should have stopped it right then and right there
right away.  But you didn't.  You also gave him things...did things for him
you refused to do with me too.  You never meant to hurt me but you did by
omitting things you did for him that you won't, didn't and never have done
with me."

   "I know you're angry with me for..."

   "ANGRY?!  ANGRY?!...You're Goddamned right I'm angry.  I have very good
reasons to be this angry.  You cheated on me.  You gave yourself to another
person...he's not a man either he's a gigolo at best.  You gave him things
you never gave me.  You `enjoyed what he did for you' and I quote that from
your diary.  Yeah, you have guilt for cheating on me, but that guilt wasn't
enough to force you to stop once you'd started."

   She sat there, barely holding her tears at bay.  I could see them
swimming in her eyes, almost ready to fall.

   "What will it take to keep you Dave?  What do I need to do to save us?"

   "I've thought long and hard about this Dawn, just so you know.  I have a
few things that I'm going to require of you...and those things are not
negotiable.  Are you sure you want to hear what I am going to demand of
you?"

   "Yes.  I'll do anything to make it right with you Dave.  Anything in the
universe.  Anything you want I'll do."

   "Don't make promises you may not want to keep Dawn."

   "I'm not making promises I won't keep nor am I making promises I won't
want to keep either."

   "Okay then...here goes.  These first one's, as I said, are
non-negotiable.  These are the one's you have to do to stay together. 
Number one...you need to quit your job.  I'll expect..."

   Dawn's shocked look told me that this was something she'd never dreamed
I'd tell her.

   "QUIT MY JOB!  I won't quit my job.  I have too many years invested in
doing it.  I'm a partner for Christ's Sakes...I can't quit my job."

   I remained calm in the force of the storm that emitted from her.  I'd
thought this all out and so far she'd reacted pretty much exactly as I'd
figured she would.

   "Then our talk is over.  Quitting your job is the one thing I WILL
demand of you.  This is a do or die Dawn.  If you want me, you'll have to
quit your job.  Period.  End of discussion.  Now...since you won't quit,
I'll just call my lawyer and have them start proceeding with the divorce. I
knew you wouldn't quite realize how serious I am here, but I had hoped
you'd at least admit that your job is part of the reason you cheated on me
in the first place.  Since you refuse...there is nothing more to talk
about."

   "Wait.  You just hit me with quitting like that and it's unfair.  I've
worked so hard over the years.  Getting that partnership was one of the
hardest things I've ever done.  You know that.  Why do I have to quit my
firm?"

   "It's how you were able to be in the situation where you cheated on me
to begin with.  I trusted you.  I trusted you and you walked all over that
trust.  You had a `bible' for crying out loud.  You consciously and
knowingly cheated on me, and you also worked hard at being the same for
everyone you knew so that nobody would suspect.  Your job gave you the
opportunity and the time to have the affair.  Your job aided and abetted
you in cheating me out of a loving and faithful wife.  Your job is gone or
I'm gone."

   "Just like that?"

   "Exactly like that."

   "You can't negotiate something with me about my job then?"

   "Absolutely not.  I need you to be home for a while.  I can't trust you
to be anywhere you will be in contact with men.  You will have to be
somewhere that I can check up on you.  Not always, but for a long time into
the foreseeable future.  I can't trust you Dawn.  You've nothing to bargain
with on this.  You blew that trust out the window, and you have to deal
with it now."

   "Quit my job.  Oh my God.  What have I done?"

   "You know what you've done Dawn.  Now you have to pay the piper.  I
can't trust you.  I hate your job because you were able to use it to cheat
on me.  I can't accept you working away from home or me now.  You brought
this on by the way, not me.  Remember that."

   "Quit my job."

   She shrank before my eyes.  I know that her job is very important to
her. I know that she has always looked for that certain respect she has
there.  She is an important part of the firm and she knows I know that. 
This is the biggie.  The other things she may balk at, but this was the one
thing I figured she'd not allow.

   "Oh Dave I've really messed things up haven't I?"

   "Yeah To put it mildly, you certainly have."

   "Quit my job.  I'll have to think about that one."

   "Nothing to think about Dawn.  You quit and we might have a chance of
making it through this.  You don't quit...we're done right away.  I know
that this is a surprise to you, so I'll tell you what.  You go to your
place and I'll give you a few days to `think'.  We'll get back together on
Saturday, and if you are willing, we'll discuss the rest of it.  Just know
this...your job is gone if you want to keep me.  That is a requirement.  No
negotiation on this one."

   "I really hurt you.  You've changed.  I can't believe you'd want me to
quit...but then I can see why you would too.  I'll let you know Saturday.
I'll call before I come over."

   "Good idea.  If you won't quit your job there is nothing more to
discuss. The lawyers will handle the details.  By the way, I have a pretty
good firm representing me."

   Handing her the card my lawyer gave me caused her to jump.  When she
read the name on the card she looked pale.

   "Why them?"

   "They don't have any connections with your firm.  They are also your
biggest competitors.  I feel I can trust them...far more than I can trust
my own wife now it seems."

   "When you pick, you pick well.  I only wish..."

   Dawn left it unsaid.  I could see from the look she gave me that un
spoken thought was probably along the lines of `I only wish you'd never had
to go there' or something like that.  Of course, I could be wrong too. 
After all, she had a second life I knew nothing about for the last year.

   "Oh Dawn, so you know.  I had detectives follow you in Boston and
they've sent me their report, my lawyers have a copy of it all.  I'll send
you what I have too, to be fair."

   "Detectives.  You really hired detectives?"

   "Yeah.  You left me no choice."

   "I'm so sorry."

   "I know."

   That night Lynn showed up and we went to dinner.  She wore a nice little
dress that showed more than it covered.  Short as it was, I could see
almost her whole leg as she walked.  It was only when she was getting out
of the car, and I was holding her hand as she got up, that I saw she wasn't
wearing panties.  She was bare.  She'd also shaved all her hair off down
there too.  Before she'd had a little strip, now, there was nothing but
soft pale skin.

   Seeing her like that caused my cock to swell and get hard.  Holding her
hand as we walked into the restaurant, I hoped that nobody would notice my
erection.

   We were seated at our reserved table and the waiter had Lynn sitting
across from me in the booth.  Once we settled in, she slid around until she
was right next to me.  Her body was rubbing against mine and she read from
my menu for her selection.

   Waiting for our meal, we talked.  Dawn wasn't mentioned, nor was work.
We were talking about things about each other.  Kind of a `getting to know
you' thing, even though I thought I knew Lynn pretty well.  I soon found
out that I hardly knew anything about her.

   "So...you like rock and roll?"

   My question was just to see what kind of rock Lynn liked.

   "Oh yeah.  Classic rock actually.  Like the Beatles, Rolling Stones,
Aerosmith, some Ozzy, and then there's the Eagles, BTO, and Bon Jovi. 
Those are just some."

   "I'd have figured you for either Country or hip-hop."

   "I can listen to it all, but I prefer Classic Rock and Hard Rock.  60's
and 70's stuff mostly."

   As we talked Lynn was touching my arm or hand often.  We had some
drinks, and hers had a maraschino cherry that she kept toying around with
in her mouth.  I soon discovered that she was teasing me with it.

   "Are you going to eat that cherry or what?"

   "What.  Like what you see?  Did you know that I can tie a knot in the
stem with my tongue?"

   "Yeah?  Well, I've been known to tie and then untie a knot in a cherry
stem."

   "Wow.  So you have skill with your tongue then?"

   I could see where this was leading and I changed the subject.

   "How are your parents doing?"

   "They're doing well.  Mom has been involved in Habitat for Humanity a
lot, building houses in New Orleans with a church group.  Dad's been
fishing."

   "Your mom's building houses?"

   "Yeah.  All the women in our family are good at working with their
hands. Mom knows her way around a skill saw, that's for sure."

   "That's amazing."

   "Oh not at all.  You should see what I can do with my hands Dave."

   As she said that, her hand fell to my leg.  I could feel her fingers
working the muscles on my thigh, kneading and massaging me firmly. 
Suddenly her massage became more of a caress.  Laying her head on my
shoulder, she continued to caress my leg, working higher and higher up,
until I knew that I'd have to stop her.

   Just as I moved to prevent her from going too far, she slipped her hand
back up on top of the table.

   "You don't have to stop me Dave.  I know that you don't want me that
way."

   "It's not that I don't want you Lynn.  It's that it wouldn't be
right...right now."

   "I hear you...but I can't see you."

   "What?"

   "I know that you want to remain faithful...but I can't understand why. I
know you want me.  You know I want you.  Can't we just...try it out once?
No strings?"

   I could feel my cock stirring as she spoke.  She was putting out
vibrations that attuned to me closely.  She was right.  I did want her.  I
wanted her in the worst way.  I wanted her in the best way too.  I was
torn, due to my life at the moment.  Everything was mixed up and my guard
was down.

   Putting my arm around her shoulder I hugged her close.  Lynn turned her
head up as I turned to kiss the top of her head, and my lips landed on hers
instead.  Her hands went around my head and she locked me up in a kiss that
was steamy hot and full of promise.

   I felt her tongue pressing between my lips and I allowed it in.  Sucking
on it gently, I let her explore my mouth.  My heart was beating faster and
faster, my urges were overcoming my common senses.

   Lynn's hand found its way down to my crotch and she was massaging my
cock through my pants.  I moved my hand, intending to pull hers away, but
ended up just laying it on hers, allowing her to feel my hardness.

   That caused her to start to become more aggressive and her kisses heated
up even more.  We were soon to the point where had someone seen us they'd
have been telling us to get a room.  The waiter bringing us our food
interrupted our make-out session.

   We broke apart, breathing heavily.  The waiter gave me a look that spoke
volumes.  It was one of those disapproving looks.  Along the lines of
`You're old enough to be her father for crying out loud.' The real problem
was, I knew this waiter and I knew that he knew I was married too.  His
look was like a bucket of cold water being tossed in my face.

   I moved apart from Lynn and we started to eat.  The difference now
though was I had regained my sense and I knew that Lynn and I could go no
farther than we already had, and what we had already done was too far.

   Lynn finished eating her meal before me and after ordering a desert, she
excused herself to go to the bathroom.  I felt a need to visit the men's
room myself, so I headed that way.  Lynn didn't see me walking behind her,
as she was almost to the door of the women's room.

   As I walked up to the men's room door I noticed that Lynn was at the
back of the hallway, back to the restaurant, talking on her cell phone. 
Curious, I moved in behind a large plant and listened in.  I guess my trust
in females had taken a large hit.  Actually I was just wondering who she
was talking to.

   "It's me.  We're at dinner.  I've started to make some moves and I think
we'll end up at your place later on."

   That statement threw me.  It really did.  I was wondering who she was
talking to as she said it, and as the realization dawned on me who it could
be, what she said hit me like a ton of bricks.  `We'll end up at your
place'?  She had to be talking to Dawn.  But why?  I soon found out.

   "I know.  He's been resistant to my advances so far.  How can you be so
sure that he would cheat on you?  He's been very careful in keeping
faithful to you, even though all that's happened in the last weeks."

   I stood there, understanding suddenly coming over me.  I was stunned.  I
couldn't believe what I was hearing.

   "Well, if you're there by nine I'll have him in a real compromising
position and you can get the pictures you'll need.  I just can't believe
that you want me to do this Dawn.  I don't understand still."

   She was talking to my wife.  I'd been set up!

   "Look...say what you want about him, I think you're wrong.  I don't
think he's ever cheated on you, and to be totally honest, I feel really
guilty doing what I've been doing.  I like Dave a lot more than I knew and
you having me do this..."

   Lynn seemed to be having a hard time doing this at least.  Maybe she did
like me a little bit after all.  I was trying to digest this off the wall
discovery, and finding it hard to know where I was at the moment.  Suddenly
I found I couldn't trust anyone anymore.

   "Dawn, I'm going to go through with this, but I think you're wrong and
what you're trying to do is wrong.  Two wrongs don't make a right...Dave
told me that.  You setting him up like this is just wrong.  Besides that,
I'll have to work with him after this all blows up and I'm not sure I'll be
able to.  You're not only messing with his mind, you're messing with my
career.  If things go bad you'll still end up divorced and I could be out
of a job.  I really think you need to just forget..."

   Lynn was worried now, and she was trying to talk Dawn out of this plan.
I only wished I knew what that whole plan was.  Evidently, from what I
could gather so far, Dawn had put Lynn up to making up to me.  Why, I
didn't know.  Hints from the conversation were sending warnings to me, but
I just didn't have enough to figure out why or what.

   "Besides that Dawn...I think I'm falling for him too.  I might try to
steal him from you after all."

   That caught my attention.  I'd thought she already had fallen for me. 
Surprise, surprise.

   "Well, you started this all.  Your crazy plan may not work.  It may
backfire on you.  I know he's older than me, but I could go a long time and
through a lot of men to find someone as good and kind as Dave.  He's also a
hottie too.  You messed up and dragging me into this was wrong.  If you're
not careful you could still end up divorced and losing him.  You really
messed up Dawn, and if I see a chance in hell that he'll come with me, I'll
take him and run."

   That was interesting.  Of course, one sided conversations always are
more interesting than hearing both sides.  After all, the listener can fill
in blanks however they wish.

   "Just remember that this was all your idea.  You knew he was getting
suspicious or at least you felt that he may become suspicious and having me
do this as a pre-strike may have made sense to you, but it still doesn't to
me.  The only reason I did this was to help you stay married to him.  If I
knew you didn't love him I'd have left you in the cold.  I still may Dawn."

   Dawn had put Lynn up to making up to me.  This whole thing had been a
planned war to keep Dawn married to me and for me to not leave her. 
Evidently Lynn was to get me into bed with her and then Dawn would discover
me cheating on her and she'd use that to even things up?  I really didn't
know my wife at all anymore.

   I turned and went into the men's room.  I waited long enough for Lynn to
finish her call and get back to the table before I made my way back.  As I
approached our table I noticed Lynn had a severely guilty look on her face.

   "Where were you Dave?  You had me worried."

   "What, did you think I'd leave you with the bill or something?  I care
for you Lynn, I'd never leave you hanging.  I just had to visit the men's
room.  That's all."

   "Oh.  Sorry.  When I came back and you were gone like that, I thought
you may have run out on me."

   "Dates do that to you often?"

   "No.  I mean...never.  I thought that maybe I had scared you off with my
fondling and kisses earlier."

   I knew that I had to get Lynn to relax.  I had an idea in my mind and I
knew how I needed it to work out, so I was going to play the game.  I was
going to let Lynn get me into bed...maybe not quite like they planned
though.

   "Your kisses are what's keeping me alive right now Lynn.  I'm a lucky
man to have found someone so beautiful and kind to help me out in my time
of need."

   "Well I've always respected and cared for you too Dave more now than
ever."

   "I'm a very lucky man then."

   Lynn moved close to me and we kissed.  It wasn't quite as hot as our
first kiss, but it was warmer than a `friendly' kiss.  As we ate our
deserts, I began to feed Lynn bites of her ice cream.  It was a semi-sexual
type of thing and I'd never known how much of a turn on it could be.  By
the time our deserts were finished, we were both hot to trot.

   In the car, on the way to my house, Lynn slid over next to me and was
kissing my neck and cheek.  Her hands were busy too, playing with my cock
through my pants.  I was hard as steel and horny as I'd ever been.  She was
keeping me hot and I was letting her.

   Once in my driveway, we necked for a bit in the car.  I had my hands on
her tits, under her skimpy dress.  I also had slipped two fingers into her
hot wet slit.  Lynn, not to be outdone, had managed to get my cock free of
my pants and was stroking it in her hand.

   "Let's get inside before the neighbors call the cops."

   She agreed, moaning into my chest as I flicked her clit with my thumb.
With my fingers still inside her, rubbing on her G spot, she had her first
orgasm of the evening.  Lynn slipped out my side of the car and we almost
ran into the house.  Once in the living room I mentioned needing to get
something to drink for us.

   "I'll get us something to drink.  Coke's okay, or do you want something
stronger?"

   "Do you have any rum to toss in the coke?"

   "Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do."

   "I'll...um...be waiting upstairs..."

   "Are you sure you want to do this Lynn?"

   "Oh God yes.  You have me so hot right now Dave...yes...I want you."

   "Okay.  Don't get undressed though.  I want that job when I get up
there...okay?"

   "Okay."

   I went to the kitchen and made up our drinks.  While there I thought
about Dawn and Lynn and what they'd planned for me tonight.  Suddenly I
knew that if Lynn and I did it, I could end up with a hot young babe for a
girlfriend and possible wife.  It was a strong indication of how far I'd
come over the last week.

   I wanted to fuck her.  I really wanted to bury my face between Lynn's
thighs and enjoy everything she'd been offering me over the last week. 
Even though I knew that it had started out as a `plan' for Dawn, I knew now
that Lynn was falling for me.  I could end up in a win-win situation here.

   I walked into our bedroom to find Lynn standing on my side of the bed
staring at my dresser.  I noted that I had two pictures there.  One was
from work, on our picnic day.  Lynn and I had been partnered up in a
three-legged race and the picture showed us as we crossed the finish line
ahead of everyone else.  Dawn was in the background, laughing at our
antics.

   The other picture was the traditional family portrait.  It was of Dawn,
our kids and me.  The day that picture was taken had been a long and tiring
one, made so due to Dawn's insistence that everything had to be just
perfect for it.  That picture had taken six takes to get right.  Even the
photographer had been getting edgy after it all.

   "Memories."

   My statement startled Lynn.

   "I didn't know you had that picture of us on the picnic day.  You always
keep it there?"

   "Yes.  It was a happy day for me."

   "Me too."

   I handed her the rum and coke and took a sip of my Scotch.  I was
looking at her from her toes to the top of her head and back down.  Lynn
looked guilty for a second, then I could see a certain desire coming out.
She sat her drink on the bedroom dresser and moved to hug me close.

   "I'm going to show you how much I love you Dave.  I'm going to do
that..."

   "No.  I'm going to show you how much I care about you Lynn."

   "Really?  I need to tell you something first though..."

   I didn't want her to tattle on herself and Dawn, not now.  I wanted to
twist the knife a bit and guilt her out some before letting her off the
hook.

   "Lynn, I've been attracted to you forever it seems.  I even have
fantasies about you.  Now, knowing that you love me so much and all, it
just makes me feel so damn good.  I'm a lucky man.  I really am."

   "Dave...I really need to say..."

   "Please...let me finish Lynn.  I've needed to tell you this for a long
time and it needs to be out in the open between us right now.  The first
day you came to work at the shop I think I fell for you.  You looked to
beautiful and you were also so friendly, I was just taken with you.  Then
you and Dawn became such close friends, and I'd see you over here all the
time...I just kept falling more and more for you."

   I could see Lynn's face showing some pain or perhaps fear in what I was
telling her.  Mostly it was the truth, if the real truth were to be known,
except that as a married man I also knew in my heart that I'd never be able
to touch her in the way I would really want to.

   "Dave...please...let me..."

   I couldn't let her spill the beans now...not quite yet...I twisted the
knife a bit more.

   Taking her hands in mine I pulled her close to me and kissed her hard.
Pulling back and looked into her eyes trying to read her thoughts as I
plunged on.

   "Lynn, these last days have brought me to the realization that you care
for me in a way that could mean we could be something together.  Our love
for each other could bring us into a higher level of being...our love for
each other could carry us on forever.  I really want you...I want to
possess you.  Forever.  Lynn, I truly do love you."

   Tears started to run from her eyes, and she pulled back from me.  Moving
around me, so that the door of the bedroom was to her back would give her a
clear path to freedom for what she had to tell me.  What I already knew was
she was about to tell me that is.

   "Dave...I can't do this.  Look, Dawn put me up to most of this.  She
wants to catch you...with me...in...bed."

   "What?"

   "Please...let me finish before you get mad at me...please Dave?  I do
love you...I found that out over these last days...and...now I feel so
guilty and so bad about what I've been doing...I can't go on.  Not like
this.  Not for anyone, and especially, not for Dawn."

   "What are you saying Lynn?"

   I almost smiled at her distress.  I was hurt, of course, but I also knew
that she was being honest with me...perhaps with herself, for the first
time.

   "Please...Dave...I love you...I really do.  I mean that.  That's why I'm
telling you about this now...before we...before she crashes in here and
pulls this terrible stunt.  I can't do it.  I want you for myself, I really
fell in love with you Dave.  I really do love you.  I don't want you in
lies and deceit.  I want you in love and honesty.  I know you're going to
hate me now...but I had to tell you truth."

   "Dawn put you up to this?  Why?"

   "She thought you were about to find out...about her.  She figured that
if she caught you red-handed in bed with someone that she could use that to
hold you to her, even though she was cheating on you all the time."

   "What made her think I was on to her cheating?"

   "A few weeks ago you didn't try too hard to get her in the mood...she
said she was tired and you just shrugged and gave up, when in the past
you'd push a bit more for a while until she'd change her mind.  That night
however, you just shrugged your shoulders and walked away.  Then there was
the issue of the late dinner she had with Steve...when he showed up in town
one night a few weeks ago."

   "Oh, the spaghetti night."

   "You'd made dinner and she called to tell you that she wouldn't be home
until late.  You had dinner in the oven for her, with the roses and candles
on the table, all set for you two.  She felt so bad, and then she thought
that you may have seen her at dinner with him...and that made her think you
knew."

   "She didn't think that I'd have crashed their party had I known about
it? She didn't think I'd have knocked him on his ass for making moves on my
wife had I known?  Hell, I didn't have a clue until you told me Lynn.  Not
one damn clue."

   "She didn't know that for certain.  Then she talked me into helping her
out...and I did reluctantly.  I thought her plan was bad all the way
around. Only...when we got involved...when I started to see you with
different eyes...when I knew that you'd never cheat on Dawn, never had, and
never would...I started to see a different picture than the one Dawn had
painted for me."

   "She thought that I'd cheated on her before?"

   "She didn't know, but she suspected.  She said that in her experience,
most married men do cheat on their wives.  It isn't that they don't love
their wives...just that sometimes temptations can overcome the best of a
person.  She knew from her own experience I guess."

   "And you jumped in to help me cheat on Dawn?"

   "You make it sound so ugly."

   "What would you call it Lynn?"

   "Two wrongs don't make a right...I know."

   "Well, don't run out on me now.  We need to be here when Dawn shows up
with camera running."

   "What?"

   "Do you or do you not have strong feelings for me Lynn?"

   "I do.  I love you and I know what I've been doing is wrong on so many
levels."

   "You love me.  Will you help me then?"

   Confusion was causing Lynn to become nervous.

   "What...I...don't understand...help you what?"

   "Dawn expects to find us naked in bed in a little bit...correct?"

   "Well...yeah...but..."

   "I've seen you naked...you say you love me...so lets get naked."

   "I don't understand..."

   "Lynn, I believe you when you say you love me.  I think that even though
you've been lying to me, and maneuvering me to help Dawn, that I still have
the same feelings for you too.  Will you help me with Dawn?"

   "Dawn's my best friend too though.  I can't...I couldn't do this..."

   I saw comprehension etching her face as she began to understand what she
was saying.

   "Oh...God.  You want her plan to work don't you?  You want her to catch
us in bed together.  But...why?"

   "This isn't about Dawn anymore Lynn.  All this drama that's been going
on is just a show for Dawn.  She decided to assuage her guilt by arranging
for me to cheat on her, so she could use that as ammunition to make me,
force me into a submissive act.  She wants to `catch' me in the act so she
can point at me and say cheater is as cheater does...and then for some
strange reason she seems to think I'll roll over and allow her to get away
with her cheating, since I cheated on her.  I'm not going to care.  I don't
care.  I thought she loved me, but she just wants to drag me down with
her...and then we can all suffer her mistake.  Does that sound like the
actions of a `loving wife' to you Lynn?  Would you, who claims to love me,
do that to me?"

   "But, Dawn does love you Dave."

   "In her own twisted little way I suppose she does.  But she wants to use
you in a sexual manner to trap me into her little world of lies and
cheating."

   "I don't understand her.  I really don't."

   "I think that when she cheated on me that first time, her mind began to
misfire.  She's always been under-sexed, yet suddenly she wants it more and
more.  Only problem is, she started that path of more sex with someone
outside our marriage and couldn't figure out how to fix that and not spill
the beans.  So, as time went on her training and education as a lawyer
caused her to think in terms of `third person' or in more hard terms or
more calculating ways.  She felt that for whatever reason, if I were just
as guilty as her, I'd be more amendable to wanting reconciliation."

   "Two wrongs..."

   "Right.  They don't make sense, let alone make a right.  She'll be here
any minute now.  Will you help me or not?"

   "Okay, I'll help you."

   "Get undressed and lay on the bed.  I'll be right back."

   Lynn started to strip, although I will say it was reluctantly at first.
She suddenly smiled at me and started to get into it.  I saw the question
before it actually came.  I was ready for it.

   "So...since you admit you love me, really, and you now know I do love
you in spite of what I've done...does this mean..."

   "Yeah.  We'll try `us' out for a bit.  See what happens.  Okay?"

   Her smile was all I needed to see at that moment.  I turned and left the
bedroom and went to the front door, checking to ensure that Dawn wasn't
already here.  Then I set up my tools in the living room and in the hallway
to our bedroom.  Once back in the bedroom I found a very beautiful and very
naked Lynn spread wide on the bed playing with herself, waiting patiently
for me.

   I undressed and looking at the dresser smiled and gave a thumbs up. 
Lynn missed that part since I was between her and the mini-cam tucked in
the statue on the center of the dresser.  I rolled onto my back and Lynn
moved up on top of me and began to kiss me all over.

   Her hands went straight to my cock and since I was hard from seeing her
naked a few seconds before, she had quite a bit to play with.  I kept
kissing her and keeping her from moving to go down on me.  I wanted us
naked and face to face, not having done anything but be naked together on
the bed by the time Dawn showed up to `catch us in the act'.  Lynn was
getting pretty worked up and desperate by the time I realized that Dawn was
there and about to enter our bedroom.

   I saw the door open a slice and I could make out someone standing just
beyond with something in their hands.  I only hoped it was a camera and not
a gun.  Dawn was now a person I truly didn't understand, and I wouldn't
have put it past her to do a murder-suicide at this point.  The next
moments would be interesting indeed.

   I rolled over on top of Lynn and began kissing and feeling her up in
earnest.  I felt her tense just a bit at my change up, but then she really
got into the new attack.  My lips moved away from hers and I kissed my way
down to her tits.  My tongue slipped out and licked her nipples, causing
Lynn to moan with desire.

   My hand moved between Lynn's hot inner thighs and found nirvana.  My
fingers delved into her wet tightness as I bit down gently on one of her
nipples.  Lynn's moans grew in loudness and I could feel her desire
building in spite of the situation, knowing what we knew was about to
happen.

   Dawn's entrance was quick and efficient.  She was taking pictures with a
digital camera and shouting at the same time.  I rolled onto my back,
exposing Lynn's and my nudity to the lens.

   "YOU SON OF A BITCH.  YOU CHEATING BASTARD!"

   I smiled into the lens and waved.  Turning back to Lynn I began to kiss
and lick her nipples once again.  Dawn, stunned at my calmness was struck
mute, camera forgotten for the moment.  Lynn was acting stiff, until she
realized that I was calm as calm could be, then slowly she started to come
around.

   Dawn spouted off some more about my cheating ass and other things, but
we ignored her protests and accusations.  Lynn's hands were on my hard cock
and she pulled me towards her, wanting me to enter her let her experience
what my cock would feel like.

   Rolling back on top of Lynn, I moved so that my cock head was resting on
her pussy lips, so wet and inviting.  I could feel the heat emanating from
her there, her desire laid bare.  With a nice long French kiss, I slid my
cock deeply into her tight yet yielding pussy.  Once buried, I froze,
allowing her to become used to the invader that was filling her full.

   I took that moment to turn my head and look into my wife's eyes.  Dawn
had gone to her knees, right beside the bed, and she was staring at us. 
Actually, she was staring at me with some kind of lost lonely look at that
moment.  I knew that she was just beginning to realize that she had totally
screwed up now.

   "Why?"

   I almost didn't hear her ask.  She was speaking so softly she could
hardly be heard over our heavy breathing.

   "Why?  Because you wanted us this way dear.  Isn't that it?  Your plan
was to `catch' me cheating and then use that to make me forgive you for
your cheating?  Right?"

   "You were supposed to stop and be all embarrassed, not turn and get into
it.  How could you?"

   "You are the reason dear.  Now if you'll excuse us, we have some
love-making to do for a bit.  I'll be down in a bit and we can talk then."

   Dawn stumbled to her feet and worked her way out of the room.  Her
camera lay on the floor, forgotten.  I turned my attention back to Lynn and
her hot wet pussy.

   "You're going to keep on with this still?"

   "You want to quit?"

   "Well...not really...but what about Dawn?"

   "What about Dawn?"

   I started to stroke in and out of her tightness and Lynn's moans told me
she'd rather finish what we'd started first.  Slowly I built up speed until
we were rutting like two animals in heat.  Mostly because that's what we
were at that moment in time, two animals in heat.

   Lynn came hard as I stroked in and out of her.  I felt her shudder once,
twice then a third time.  I was close, but not so close that I'd cum too
soon, so I slowed back down and worked more magic in change of direction
and speed and depth.  My cock was throbbing hard and fast as I started to
build to orgasm, and once I was headed there, Lynn suddenly pushed me off
of her body and onto my back.

   Disoriented I tried to roll back over, but her hands held my shoulders
down and she whispered into my ears.

   "Baby, I want to do something special for you now.  I've wanted to do
this for so long.  Lay back and relax."

   Saying that she moved her head down my body, kissing and licking me all
over as her hands gripped my shaft.  Soon her hot moist lips were
surrounding my shaft and I was being treated to a world class blow-job. 
Lynn, if nothing else, was an excellent cocksucker, and what she was doing
to me was beyond anything I'd ever experienced before in my life.

   I felt my orgasm building up to climax, and I moaned out its arrival to
prevent her any embarrassment.  It was a wasted breath.

   "I'm almost there sweetie...I'm cumming."

   Her lips tightened up around my shaft and then they plunged fully to the
base.  That resulted in my shooting off like gangbusters.  I came and came,
squirting everything I had into Lynn's mouth and down her throat.  She
swallowed it all and licked me clean afterward.

   We laid together for a bit before I knew it was time to go finish it up.

   "Be gentle Dave.  Really, I mean it.  She wasn't ready for what happened
at all.  What we gave her was never in her wildest dreams something that
was going to happen.  She fully expected you to cower and hide when
`caught', not be laid back and cool about it all like we really were."

   "Best laid plans of mice and men..."

   "Yeah...something like that."

   "I don't feel like being gentle Lynn, but I'll be decent."

   "Guess that's the best she can ever hope for then."

   I pulled on my pants and walked down stairs to the living room.  Dawn
was on the love seat, head bowed, shoulders shaking as I heard her sobbing
into her hands.  Hearing her cry so broke my heart, but I knew that things
had gone beyond fixing by this time too.  She'd planned and schemed too
much trying to save face and fix things in her own screwed up little way. I
realized that I didn't know my wife at all suddenly, and that thought hit
me hard.

   "Sorry."

   "You're sorry?  I'm the one who cheated on you...I'm the one that laid
plans to make it so you'd be the one caught, and I'm the one that threw
away everything.  What do you have to be sorry about?"

   "Sorry that I carried through with it anyway, even though I knew about
what was to happen pretty much, before hand."

   "You knew?"

   "Yeah, figured it out mostly.  Not quite until the bitter end though. 
Turns out Lynn has a thing for me...thinks she loves me, and I her."

   "Do you?"

   "I care for her, of course, but your planning and her willingness to
help you lie to me, well, that kind of makes it harder for an `us', just
like what you've done makes it harder for an `us' anymore too."

   "I really screwed up didn't I?"

   "Yes.  Yes you did Dawn.  For the life of me, I still don't understand
it either.  You could have come to me at any time and told me.  You could
have mentioned that your desires were coming to a head.  I would have
welcomed being with you sexually far more than we had been, and I would
have loved and respected you so much more in the end."

   "That hurts."

   "I know, but it's the truth too.  I don't know why you went outside our
marriage for fulfillment.  I don't understand your little scheme to put me
in the position to be nothing more than a cheat on you either.  My God,
Dawn, you're an educated, intelligent woman.  I thought you loved me more
than that too.  It's a pretty sorry mess now though."

   "There's no chance then?"

   "I don't think so.  Too much and too far."

   "I really messed up.  What will I do now?"

   "Your job.  You're good at that and you are respected.  I won't require
that infidelity be used.  We'll just use a general run of the mill one and
call it good.  I don't want to punish you anymore than I already have.  I'm
just...tired and want it over with.  This last week or so has been
difficult for both of us."

   "The last week or so for you.  The last year or so for me.  I really
have been torn up about this."

   "I know.  I read your diaries."

   "Maybe some day we will..."

   "Lets not go there Dawn.  Too much has gone on and your little plan to
use Lynn as you did is way over the top as far as I'm concerned.  It's
going to be hard on both of us, and I think by the time this whole thing
blows over, I won't want to see or be reminded of you for quite some time.
I'll say this much though...there will always be a special place in my
heart for the mother of my children and the years we spent together that
were honest and happy."

   "Ouch."

   "Yeah.  Ouch."

   I was surprised at our conversation that evening.  We talked without
heat or anger, though I know in my case I plenty of reasons to be more than
a little angry.  In retrospect, I think that little time with Lynn, before
I went down to talk to Dawn did more for me than anyone could have thought.


   For that little lovemaking showed me that I still could please a lady.
It showed me that it wasn't the end of my life.  It showed a glimmer of
hope that I'd find the right person eventually, and that person could still
possibly be Lynn.  Dawn?  Not a chance.  I was correct in telling her too
much and too far.  During the waiting period of the divorce I went through
some painful and angry times remembering what had gone on.

   In case you're a score keeper, our divorce went smoothly.  We split
evenly down the middle, each got their retirement accounts left alone and
we each had our own investment accounts left alone too.  Our joint finances
were the 50/50 split and once that was done the only thing left was the
house and the mountain cabin.  I got the cabin Dawn took the house.  Since
the house was valued a quite a bit more than the cabin, the difference was
settled in cash in my account.

   Lynn and I?

   It turned out that I couldn't trust her either.  I kept thinking to how
Lynn had `acted' at first, on Dawn's direction and I couldn't let it go. 
We called it good after a couple of months, and split as friends.  I do
miss the hot sex with her, but I have managed to find some other women to
date now and that means I'm not destitute in any way.  Lynn and I manage to
work together at the plant well still, and I hope that continues that way
too.

   I'm sure that one day I'll find someone else to love and cherish, and I
can only hope that they are nothing like Dawn...or Lynn in the end.

   Dawn?  She has been having a rough time of it.  She doesn't date at all,
and I think she seems to be holding a hope that I'll come back to her
eventually.  I guess she still can't see how her lying and game playing
hurt me and caused my love for her to fall.