Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 "Real time"

   Anger; deep and burning anger.  There was also pain.  Pain of a kind I'd
never felt before.  I wanted to kill or be killed.  I had never been this
angry before in my life.  Some might say I was pretty young yet and that
life would have other situations that would bring out anger like this
again. I don't think so.

   My anger is a kind of anger that nobody should have to deal with.  Any
kind of anger that makes a person feel a need to take another individual's
life is not good.  I wanted to kill two people at the moment, and once I
made my presence known I knew that I'd have to exercise extreme caution in
order to not end up in prison.

   Why am I so angry?  I'll tell you why.  It all started about five weeks
ago when my wife started to change, like a chameleon in front of my eyes.
She went from loving, doting, and pleasing me to smart ass retorts,
slights, and cuts.  She began to refuse intimacy and that intimacy included
things husbands and wives do in bed together.

   That made me suspicious immediately, since I'd once had a girlfriend who
had cheated on me, and when that all came out, I'd learned some painful
life-long lessons.  I never mentioned the first bitch to the now second
bitch in my life.  Don't know it would have made a difference anyway.

   On the second week of her `change' I decided to investigate further. 
I'm not a guy who takes his problems to a P.I.  or someone else to help
solve.  Nope.  I'm one of those hands-on guys and I handle my own issues
quite well thank you very much.

   I followed her from her workplace at lunchtime.  When she pulled into
that motel parking space and walked briskly right to room 104, I knew she
was cheating on me.  Her job didn't involve dealing with customers out of
the workplace at all.  Matter of fact, she didn't deal at all with
customers since she worked in the record keeping department.

   That first discovery caused me pain, but not near the pain that her
taunts, cuts and slights had already caused me.  The man she met was a
co-worker of hers... of sorts, he worked in a different department.  I had
heard he was in the quick rising circle and that he was headed up the
ladder rapidly.

   After seeing them meet three times in two weeks I decided how I was
going to approach this `issue'.  Head on.  I'm too cheap to pay good money
out to find out an already known factor, so I just waited until now,
knowing that just behind this door my wife was in the arms of another man.

   `I won't kill them I won't kill them' I kept repeating that to myself in
the hopes I wouldn't kill them.  It was going to be a very close thing.  I
had to confront them, and I had to get the pictures.  In this state I could
still sue for `alienation of affection' and her employer would be getting
hit hard too, for allowing it to happen as it did.

   My guess was that `Mr.  On the Way up' was soon to be `On the Way OUT'.
I needed the pictures, and then I needed to serve the soon to be ex-wife
the divorce papers.  The locks on our house were being changed as I stood
here, the locksmith having been paid by me just before I left home.  I had
moved all `our' money around and split it evenly.  I had canceled all our
credit cards.  I had done many things over the last two weeks, and now the
final turmoil was about to begin.

   I am not certain how Simone will react.  It is my thought that she will
be happy instead of upset...however she may feel quite guilty in a few
minutes too.  Of course, my lawyer who's had a lot of experience with
divorce, told me the guilt will pass, as soon as she gets her own lawyer.

   Do I love her you may ask?  Well, right now I hate her fully and openly.
At the same time I'm in a deep inner fight with myself thinking that she
really loves me and this is just a mistake on her part... poor judgment and
we may fix things.

   Logically I know it won't happen though.  I can't accept a wife who
would cheat on me.  There is not one ounce of trust left in my being for
her.  The love that I still have for her is just that part which hasn't had
time to accept this sudden and complete change happening in such a short
while.

   The manager of the motel handed me the key to the room.  A hundred
dollar bill and a promise to not mess up the place served as the `gateway'
to having the key in hand.  He's a nice guy and I'm sure it's not his fault
my wife and her toy-boy chose this place for their trysts.  He also
mentioned something about his ex-wife and how there were some similarities
between us.



   "Slow motion"

   Inserting the key I opened the door quietly.  Moving into the room I
close the door almost all the way, leaving it cracked just a bit.  I aimed
the camera and stepped into the room fully.

   *Flash*

   *Flash*

   *Flash*

   *Flash*

   "Man I love this digital camera." I thought to myself.  "I'm sure glad
she gave it to me for my birthday three months ago."

   She was screaming at the guy to get off her.  He was pissed and moving
to get up.  I took several more pictures, seeing her hard nipples, the red
marks where he had been sucking on her tits, his hard cock popping out, and
cum shooting everywhere.

   Simone was crying, trying to cover up while he did the stupid thing.  I
had secretly hoped he would and his choice made my next move quite natural.

   "What the fuck?  Who are you?  Get the fuck out of here before I kick
your ass!"

   "Who I am is her soon to be EX.  Whose ass is going to be kicked is
debatable.  I don't think you're going to kick my ass."

   I moved to one side as he approached.  Setting the camera down and
turning just a bit to the right I let him come up on my left.  Letting go
of the camera I began to turn rapidly and in so doing, swung my arm up and
hard.

   My fist connected with his jaw almost perfectly.  His feet lifted up off
the floor with the force of all my anger, pain, and just a tad of fear. 
Fear you say?  Yes...fear.  I was afraid I was going to kill this stupid
asshole, and he just wasn't worth it.

   He hit the floor, out cold.  I must have been quite angrier than I
thought.  I bent over and checked him for a pulse, suddenly aware that I
may just have killed the dumb-shit, and that would have been tragic, for me
that is.

   There was a pulse, so I relaxed.  I heard Simone going on and on about
something, and now I turned to face her.  She suddenly shut up, fear
choking her voice.  I knew that she'd never seen me this way before, and I
must have looked far different from the man she had left at breakfast this
morning.

   "Well whore, hope you enjoy this dip-shit.  He's going to be yours from
now on.  I sure as hell don't want anything to do with your cheating ass
anymore."

   She sat there, tears running down her face, shaking and hugging herself.
She couldn't look me in the eye something I noticed had been occurring more
and more lately.  Now though, she knew that I knew.  Now she knew the game
was up.  She glanced at me standing over her lover and I'd seen her shiver.
Her eyes didn't stay on me very long though.

   "Here are the typical papers which are served in situations like this.
I'm suing for divorce.  The locks on the house have been changed.  I've set
up a bank account with your half of everything.  You're served, we're
through, thanks for nothing."

   The papers landed on her knees which were half out of the sheet she was
trying to hide under.  She looked at them, and then looked into my eyes. 
She said nothing.  For the first time in the last three or four weeks, I
felt nothing.

   Two kinds of nothing were going on in that room.  Mine was going to be
far more painful in the end, but right now, she knew there was nothing she
could say to make things right between us.  I even got the feeling that she
may not know how to make things right and that `us' hadn't existed for a
longer time than these last weeks.

   I turned and left, hearing her plead with me as I went out the door.

   "Wait.  Let me explain.  PLEASE Jonathan... PLEASE!"

   I kept walking.  I couldn't let her see my eyes right then.  They were
full.  Tears were welling up in them, and I knew that if I turned I'd
weaken in my whole plan.  There was too much water under the bridge and I
had too many issues now to want to do that.  What had once been, now was
nevermore.

   Arriving home I found the locksmith patiently waiting.  He'd changed all
three entry locks and the garage door opener had been reprogrammed.  I
thanked him for doing the job on such short notice, and tipped him a
twenty.

   Inside the house that had been a home, I sat at the kitchen table and
thought over our years together.  I didn't know why Simone changed or why
she suddenly decided I was less than what she evidently had originally seen
in me.  I didn't know one damn reason why she had done this.

   I did know that we were done.  I did know that in five weeks the pain
and words had made me a different man, but obviously Simone missed that
change while it was occurring, just as I had missed the changes in her too.

   The phone rang.  Looking at the caller ID I saw it was Simone's mom.  I
answered.

   "John, what's going on?  Simone came over here in tears saying that
she'd ruined your marriage.  What's happened?"

   "Well Doris, it's like this.  Simone will have to tell you what
happened, but suffice it to say that I found her at a motel room today and
served her the divorce papers."

   "Why John?  I don't understand this at all.  "

   "Look, I'm really sorry Doris.  You know that I love you and Sam with
all my heart and this whole thing is tough on all of us... but it has to
be... this... way."

   I had tears running down my cheeks now.  I truly loved Simone's parents.
They'd been very good to me over the years Simone and I had been together,
and hearing the pain and confusion in Doris's voice cut my soul.  I was
glad that this was taking place over the phone.  I didn't want them to see
me like this.

   "John, can't you two work it out somehow?"

   "I don't think so Doris.  This is a biggie.  A seriously huge biggie and
it's one of those biggies that destroy everything."

   The silence on the other end of the phone told me that Doris was trying
to cope with such hard and fast news.  I felt for her, since just last
night we'd had dinner with Doris and Sam, and Simone was all lovey-dovey
while in front of her parents.  The whole show had been surprising to me.

   We'd fought on the way there, and of course I got the cold shoulder on
the way home...but while at Doris and Sam's, we'd been the perfect little
couple.  I didn't allow our fight to show to prevent Sam from being hurt by
his daughters actions, but it appeared I should have warned them somehow
before taking the actions I just had.

   Sam's health wasn't all that good and the years of working in hard jobs
combined with the smoking he'd done led to his current health being so
poor. Doris was in good health, but always worrying about Sam, so I felt
bad about having not given them some kind of heads-up on all this mess.

   I knew that had I warned them though, Simone would have got some kind of
warning and I'd never have gotten the pictures I needed.  Well, I didn't
actually need them for court unless her lawyer copped an attitude on us. 
If her lawyer copped the attitude, then the pictures would be laid on the
table along with sworn testimony from six different individuals about their
`affair'.

   I call it an affair with reservation.  I'm not sure Simone was in love
with this guy or even if she had participated initially of her own free
will.  One of the sworn statements from a co-worker of Greg's had indicated
that he held something over Simone's head at the start of the whole thing.

   My lawyer was having a heyday with the case being presented to Simone's
employer.  That case had been presented and filed this morning while I was
preparing to visit the motel room.  He'd filed in court and then within
twenty minutes was on the phone with the company lawyers.  They were
excited to say the least.

   They were also in denial, of course, but he mentioned the sworn
statements and suddenly the company had a whole different take on things. I
knew from what my lawyer told me that Simone and lover, and any others
involved were more than likely to be terminated from their jobs the next
day, barring any reasonable excuse for their behavior.

   Me, I knew that the case for alienation of affection against Greg was
strong from his employers actions.  We had the sworn statements from three
of his and one of her co-workers about them sneaking around at work and
getting it on.  There had been speculation by supervisors at the company
about them as well, yet nobody said anything to them or me.

   We also had sworn affidavits from the motel owner and a cleaning lady as
well.  Six witnesses of sorts, and my pictures to ensure proof that there
were in fact sexual liaisons happening on company time.

   Their using the motel had come about to alleviate the attentions of
co-workers.  Greg had evidently figured out that `they' were becoming too
noticeable.  He also knew about the company policies on things like
workplace romance.  My lawyer had gotten lots of info.  We also had their
`company policy' on workplace ethics, actions and relationships in printed
form.

   I discovered that Simone and the `jerk' had been together for a bit more
than five weeks by the point I figured out things weren't right.  So,
Simone had been running around on me for just over ten weeks in total by
the time I visited them at the motel.

   My finding out five weeks prior had been one of those `most difficult'
times in my life.  I'd had three of them so far, and by now I hoped I'd
never have another as long as I lived.

   "The History" (Simone's version)

   We weren't getting along as well as we had been when first married. 
Jonathan had been busy at his work, working on several projects.  We had
talked about it, since it was cutting into our personal lives so much.  I
knew that in a few months all the hard work would more than likely pay off
with a nice promotion.

   Meanwhile, at my job, Greg had found that I'd messed up on some employee
records.  It wasn't a huge mistake, but it was a serious error on my part
and could have cost me my next promotion and raise, as well as caused me to
be held back for the foreseeable future.

   Greg, being the kind of... 'man' he is, used that information and for
all practical purposes blackmailed me into meeting him after work one
night. That turned into `a' sexual favor for one time to prevent me from
suffering for all the issues surrounding my mistake.

   While not thrilled about it all, the one thing that allowed me to do
such a thing was the fact that Jonathan and I hadn't been getting along
well, nor had we had much sex in the last six months.

   I didn't realize it until that first meeting between Greg and I, but I
had also been feeling I was missing out on some things that other people
had experienced in life.  Jonathan had been my one and only.  I'd never
been with any man other than him, ever.  Greg and I being together had
opened up a dam deep inside me.

   That first time with Greg was in his office during lunch.  Everyone left
as usual and I'd hung back.  Greg was waiting for me, and he'd even brought
in a small bottle of my favorite wine, along with some cheese and crackers.


   Our lunch times were usually an hour, with everyone going to local
restaurants or street vendors to eat.  I'd usually go to the street vendor
and buy something quick off the cart and then go sit in solitude at the
park.  We weren't missed at all that first day.

   Greg had turned out to be nicer than the mean old blackmailer I'd
thought.  That first time was kind of a `letting go' for me too.  After
that day I discovered I wanted it more.  Even though I knew it was wrong.
Even though I still loved my husband, Greg treated me like... I don't
know... maybe `his property' or something.  With him I could let go and be
someone else totally.

   He'd order me to do things and at first, as I said, while not thrilled,
I'd do them.  By the end of that `lunch' I had done some things with Greg
I'd never done with my husband.  Greg was the first man to cum in my mouth.
I swallowed to keep the cum from staining my dress.

   Greg was the first man to finger my asshole.  We did it over his desk my
body bent over, dress still on but pulled open to expose my tits.  He'd
pulled my dress up in back and when his cock slipped between my pussy lips
I came hard.  It was so nasty... so dirty... so... sexy.

   My hands were on the edges of his desk top hanging on as Greg thrust in
and out of me.  His cock wasn't bigger in length than Jonathans but it was
fatter, so it felt huge inside me.  As I approached my second orgasm Greg's
fingers slipped into my asshole.  Two at first, then later, I think, three.

   After I thought he came, he pulled out and ordered me to suck him clean.
I sucked on his cock, which didn't go soft, and suddenly I had another load
of cum shooting into my throat.  The second load of cum I'd swallowed in my
life, the second in less than an hour.

   I later learned that Greg hadn't cum in my pussy but had held off.  I
had been cumming so hard I never knew that he didn't shoot off in me.  He'd
wanted to see me sucking his load out of his cock since he could never get
his wife to do that.

   We'd barely been able to get things straightened out before the others
got back, and I'd left his office not feeling as angry towards him as I had
when it all started.  Later that day as I tasted him on my lips, I found
myself thinking about the next time.  It was a sudden, unbidden thought...
and it told me that I wanted Greg again.  .

   Greg also wanted more than the one time too.  He approached me the next
day about it, and we once more did the office thing.  That time I attacked
him and we fucked until he came deep inside me.

   I heard him begin to say things about Jonathan that day.  Negative
little slights.  I never really thought about what he was saying, since I
just wanted to feel his cock deep inside me again.

   During the next two weeks the pattern emerged that while we were doing
it, Greg would say terrible things about Jonathan.  He even intimated that
Jonathan had to be cheating on me.  With the way things were in our lives
at home, I pretty soon took Greg's attitude.

   Over the weeks I started to belittle and run down Jonathan to everyone
except my parents.  I feared that my mother and dad would see right through
me, so I tried to be the dutiful loving little wife while my parents were
around.

   So now, just before the motel tryst's evolved, Jonathan and I were on
the outs, Greg and I had gone from having sex to a full blown affair.  Greg
was the first to take my anal virginity.  At first it was painful.  Later
on I found I was shoving back begging for Greg to do me harder and faster.
I'd never have thought I'd like anal sex, let alone beg for it.

   Sucking off Greg was my passion.  I found that I developed a taste for
cum and at times I'd rather suck him off to taste him then fuck him.  One
day I actually came while I was sucking him, and while I was cumming, Greg
had moved a bit so when I came down from my orgasm I discovered that my
lips were pressed hard at the base of his cock.

   I had taken him all the way into my throat.  That became a thing we did
each time we got together.  I'd suck and work on his cock until I'd have
him all the way inside of my mouth and down my throat.  I loved the feeling
of power that gave me.

   Greg had mentioned that the motel would be the better way for us to keep
meeting until we could figure out something else.  His wife was getting
suspicious and he thought that someone at work may have mentioned to her
that we seemed to be together a bit too much, considering that we worked in
different departments.

   We had never talked about leaving our spouses.  It never came up.  We
were just meeting for the hot sex and the more we met, the hotter it seemed
to get.  The time before Jonathan made his knowledge of us known, Greg had
started to talk about maybe inviting in another man.

   At first I was reluctant, but after his persuasive talk, I was soon
wondering what that would be like.  Had Jonathan not done what he'd done,
I'd probably have been with more than one man in less than a month.  Greg
seemed to know what to say and how to act to get me to do things with and
for him that I'd never even thought of allowing Jonathan to do with me.

   I should have seen that with Jonathan there was love.  Love, respect,
and understanding.  I gave that up for sex.  Sex and lust.  Greg ordered
and took what he wanted, and I gave it up to him with little or no fight.
Jonathan had respected me and would never have `taken' anything without my
agreeing to it completely.

   Greg could take from me and order me because he had no love there for
me. He just had this little slut he could get whatever he wanted from,
while his wife gave him the emotional support he needed.

   I on the other hand, had taken Greg's banter about Jonathan to heart and
cut my emotional support with my husband in favor of having the sexual high
I had with Greg.  Looking back, I know now I made the biggest mistake of my
life ten weeks ago and there is no going back and fixing it now.

   I can remember the last time Jonathan and I had what I would call `great
sex'.  We'd been to my parents for dinner.  Mom and dad had been away for a
few weeks on a trip and they were so full of love and laughter that it was
contagious.

   On the way home I'd snuggled into Jonathan as he drove.  Opening up his
pants I'd begun to stroke him, fondling and just holding his cock.  He
almost drove into the ditch twice before we got home.

   Once home we'd run into the front room and I was stripping as the front
door closed.  Had someone been walking by and looking, they'd have seen me
topless, struggling to get my pantyhose off.

   Jonathan picked me up in his strong arms, and carried me into the
bedroom.  Placing me on the bed gently, as is his way, he moved between my
legs.  His hot breath was the first thing I felt at my pussy.

   Jonathan loved to eat me.  He seemed to live for it at times.  His
tongue worked magic on me, parting my pussy lips, delving inside, tickling
my clit, moving around, up and down, its rough texture and then all at once
smooth and slick, then rough again.  God I loved how Jonathan used to eat
me out.

   I had kept my legs spread wide, and Jonathan's fingers slipped into my
pussy.  Always careful, he was slow in his movements, making sure I was
prepared before he got firmer or rougher.

   Oh yeah, he could be rough.  He could be abrupt.  He could catch me off
guard while fucking me deeply.  Why I had gone for Greg as I did is
something I never really thought about.  Other than the issues I felt
Jonathan and I had, there was no reason.  Issues that now I can clearly see
were just my problems getting out of hand.  I was the issue.

   I had always wanted to suck Jonathan off, but he'd usually stop me
before he came, wanting to please me more while he still could.  I'd never
struggled to keep on going, though at times I wondered what it would feel
like, taste like, or be like, to have him cum in my mouth.

   That night he'd been gently making love to me, then suddenly he became a
tiger.  Literally.  He moved with a firmness I'd never seen before, and,
while not too forceful, he was forceful enough to make me lose it.  It had
been the best sex we'd ever had, and looking back, at least I have that
memory untainted by Greg and my actions afterwards.

   We'd fucked for hours that night, almost into the next morning.  I
spooned up to my husband secure in the knowledge that he loved me and
desired me deeply.  Then several weeks later I'd been caught up with Greg
and his `blackmail'.

   I still don't know how I managed to make that first step like I did.  I
ask myself `why didn't I fight Greg and push him to reveal what he
allegedly had on me?' `Why would I allow my job and my fears for moving up
come between my husband and me?' `How had I been so damned easy?'

   Looking back, I dearly wish I'd tried to push Jonathan into trying out
different things, and I wish I'd been the `slut' for my husband instead of
some creep like Greg.  It's not like I ever loved the guy.  Jonathan on the
other hand, I loved.  I'd had a short time `out of love', that happens in
marriages.  Instead of hanging in there, I'd taken the easy way out and
found pleasure in the arms of another man.

   What hurts the most is the fact that I have to live with the brand
`cheater'.  That's what I am, what I've become.  I've heard people say,
`Once a cheater, always a cheater'.  Now I live knowing that I'm a cheater.


   When Jonathan stepped into the room that day I was shocked.  I tried to
hide.  I tried to get Greg off me.  By the time Greg got up I looked at my
husband's face and saw a stranger.  There was a look in his eyes that I'd
never seen before.

   Greg got up off of me, his hard cock pulling out of my pussy.  Greg had
been orgasming as Jonathan started to shoot the pictures of us.  Greg got
off the bed saying something I didn't catch, while Jonathan calmly turned
and put the digital camera on the table next to where he was standing.

   The next seconds stunned me.  I saw Greg start towards Jonathan,
threatening him.  The next thing I saw was Greg flying up about two feet
into the air, then landing on his back, out cold.  I heard the crack of
something hitting flesh right as Greg suddenly apparently jumped into the
air as if sprouting wings.  I turned back to look from Greg to Jonathan,
and I saw Jonathan holding his fist closed, a bit of blood spattered on
him.

   Jonathan's cold, ice blue eyes found mine and I couldn't look at him any
more.  I tried to cover myself up, burrowing into the sheet.  Jonathan
called me a whore and tossed some folded papers on the bed.  I heard
something about papers, divorce, being served.  I looked at the sheets of
the bed, not knowing if my husband was going to beat me too or not.  I was
scared and embarrassed, and, most of all, ashamed.

   Jonathan suddenly turned and started walking out, having grabbed the
camera from the table.  I cried out to him...I can't remember what I said,
but I remember thinking that what ever it was it must have sounded so
hollow.

   Afterwards I took a long shower.  I never checked on Greg.  I didn't
care if he was dead or not.  The motel manager came by and checked on the
room.  That's when I found out Jonathan had bought a key from him.

   That manager looked at me like I was dirt.  He said that he'd caught his
wife with another man in a room just like Jonathan had, and that was the
only real reason he'd given Jonathan the key.  He told me I'd really
screwed up.

   He didn't need to tell me.  I knew.  I'd just thrown away the best thing
I'd ever had in my life.  All because I got caught up in my little affair
and thought I had something special.

   The following day I showed up at work and there were three men in my
office waiting for me.  The president, the Human Resources manager, and
some guy who I think was the company lawyer.

   I was asked how Greg and I had gotten together.  I explained everything.
I held nothing back.  I could see the looks on my co-workers faces as they
walked by the office, the same as when I walked in that morning, and I knew
I'd be gone by the end of the day.

   I was wrong about that though.  First, the HR guy made sure that the
first time I was with Greg was blackmail of sorts, and then they made me
sign some papers about Greg and me.  I was out of the office and on the
street before lunch.  The company wouldn't allow me to work there, but
since Greg had blackmailed me to begin with, they had to give me severance
pay.  Other than that, I was out.

   Greg was escorted out by building security and right into the hands of
the police.  Evidently he'd been up to something else and it all came out
during questioning.  Greg was in deep, very deep.

   I found out later that Greg had been stealing from the company here and
there.  Usually it was small amounts or a bit of fast work on receipts from
traveling and stuff.  All together it had added up to enough to charge him
with Grand Larceny.

   Greg's wife left him, taking their three kids and moving home to her
parents' house back east.  Greg was in jail awaiting trial.  I was asked to
testify at first, but when the D.A.  and I talked, she realized that my
testimony would probably hurt more than help, so they decided to not use
me.

   The lawyer for Greg asked me if I'd testify on Greg's behalf.  After I
told him what I'd say about how Greg had originally blackmailed me into
sex, and then how he'd worked the wedge between my husband and me, he too
decided I was not going to be any use on the stand.

   I went home.  That was painful.  My dad was near heart attack when I
first got there.  He was mad.  Mad as I'd ever seen him.  He called me all
sorts of names.  He couldn't understand why I'd tossed away my marriage
with Jonathan like I had.

   What hurt the most was mom.  She looked into my eyes, hers full of pain.
The words she said are ingrained into my brain forever.

   "You have made the worst mistake you could have ever made.  You let not
only your mom and dad down, let yourself down, but you let your husband
down too.  You, young lady, have totally destroyed two marriages, and your
husband's love.  Low.  You have become the lowest of the low.  I still love
you, since you're my daughter, but now I have absolutely no respect for
you."

   It's been tough since then.  Alone, out of work, and living with parents
who have changed dramatically due to my actions, is stressful.  Jonathan
was true to his word and the money was split even-steven.  I signed away my
interests in our home, and he sold it immediately.

   I'm working things out in my life now.  I miss my husband, and I wish
now I'd never gone where I went.  I know... too little, too late.  I have
that cheater brand hanging over my head, and it will take a long time, if
ever, to get rid of.  I am starting over though.  I hope that eventually
I'll be able to get on with life and not have this pain on an hourly basis.

   Jonathan quit his job and moved across the country.  I think he couldn't
stand the thought of his cheating whore wife being in the same state as he
was.  Painful lesson learned, at least I hope I learned.  Time will tell.

   "Jonathan finishes"

   Leaving the motel room that day was the numbest I'd ever been.  Simone
was still on the bed, in tears, Greg was still out cold.  The manager of
the motel met me outside in the hallway.  I handed him the key.



   He placed his hand on my shoulder in a kindly way.

   "It's tough right now, but it will get better.  Move on, find yourself
and then find someone else.  You'll be okay.  I won't lie to you its going
to be painful for a while yet.  Depends on how much you loved her, and how
much you cared for her."

   "Thanks.  I figured out that bit, but hearing it from someone who's been
there is reassuring.  See ya `round."

   "No offense, but I hope not."

   I walked away.  At home that night I cried.  I know it's supposedly not
manly or the macho thing... but I hurt.  Doris called me to let me know
that she and Sam let Simone move in with them.  She sounded lost.  That
brought tears to my eyes too.  They were good people, and I felt bad that
they'd been caught up in this mess.

   Days went by and Simone didn't contest a thing about the divorce.  It
went smooth as silk.  My lawyer was surprised, as was hers too, I think. 
She had no fight left in her at all.  I could tell she was suffering, but
at least she never tried to excuse what she'd done.

   Once the divorce was over, the case against her former employer finished
up.  They just wanted me to go away and they were willing to pay my lawyer
fees, court costs and a tidy sum just to make sure I did.

   Greg went to jail.  I relished that for the moment.  Now he'd get to
know other forms of sex, hopefully on the receiving end this time.  I have
no sympathy for him.  He's not a man he's a nothing, at least to me.

   He had had three kids and a wife.  I met her once during the turmoil of
the divorce... she was a looker too.  What a dip-shit Greg was.  He'd had
it all, and tossed it away because of some kind of sexual thrill he must
have felt he couldn't get from her.

   I turned in my resignation.  My employers were stunned.  They worked
hard to try to convince me not to quit, but I had too many issues to be
able to continue to work there effectively.  They did what they could, then
once they knew I was gone, the offered me a nice letter of recommendation
which I accepted.

   I have a new job on the west coast.  I moved out here about a year ago.
I met a nice young lady.  She's a keeper.  I'm still a bit gun shy in the
trust department, but she has an ex-husband who cheated on her, so there's
a common ground between us.

   As for sex between us, you might want to know?  Well, we've done it all
and then some.  She is adventurous and so am I.  I want to ensure that we
are both happy as we can be in that department for the long term.  We're
meshing in other ways too, so it's a well rounded relationship.

   Having dated a bit since the divorce, I know a good thing when I see it.
Hopefully she feels the same way about me too.

   Life has been a reality check, but I think things are on the mend.