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 The Contract Chapter 4



   I remember when she told me the news.  She had been having problems. 
After her visit to the doctor he had required her to take some tests.  Then
came the specialist.  I was in the car having just left work to see her
home.

   Her shoulders were drooping and her walk told me volumes.  As she sat
down next to me she broke down and began to cry.  I leaned over, holding
her to me, kissing her cheek.

   "It will be okay honey.  We'll get through whatever it is.  You're
strong and I am here for you.  We'll get you through this."

   "No.  We won't John.  I've...I've got cancer.  They just told me I have
less than a year."

   "Less than a year?  What do they mean less than a year?  Is it that
you'll need treatment for less than a year?  You can do that.  We can do
that.  I will be with you every step of the way Becky."

   "No John.  They meant that I have less than a year to live. 
I'm...dying."

   I sat in stunned silence.  Of all the things I expected to hear, this
was the farthest from my mind.  It never occurred to me that whatever it
was that was bugging my love would kill her.  It had to be a wrong
diagnosis.  She wasn't that ill.  It had to be a mistake.  It had to be.

   "John, they told me I have several types of cancer in me.  They're each
killing me bit by bit.  The specialist told me that I have at most a year
and a half.  I could die in a month though too."

   "No.  Not that.  We'll find other doctors.  There has to be a way to
fight this.  People survive cancer all the time.  You will survive this
Becky."

   "I don't think so John.  I can feel it inside me at times.  I don't
think I'm going to make it out of this one."

   "Nonsense.  We'll find someone who can heal you.  You'll see.  I'll
start searching tomorrow.  I'll find someone who's able to help you...to
cure you.  You'll see Becky."

   I only wish that I felt all that sure as I was trying to sound.  Her
specialist was one of the best doctors around, and if he had found cancer
then it most likely was.  I just couldn't give up on Becky though.  I loved
her too much to accept this at face value.  I had to try.  I had to.

   Our next weeks were full of me searching, locating and then getting
Becky to see one doctor after another.  Each time the diagnosis stayed the
same.  I even took her to another clinic without any background information
and had them test her.  Still the answer was the same.  Several types of
cancer, any one of them a killer in it's own right.  Most even said that
trying to stop it with radiation and Chemotherapy would be futile.

   Nobody could say why or how.  Nobody could offer a treatment that wasn't
worse than the final prognosis.  So...finally, after much pleading on
Becky's part and a dark hole blooming in my heart, I gave up.  I took her
home and we began to plan the end of her days.

   She could tell I was struggling with this too.  We had been together
since high school; having got married right after graduation.  We attended
college, separately, her to the one she wanted, me to the one I needed to
be at.  We managed to stay faithful and happy.  It was hard those first
years.  I managed to get her pregnant three times while we were going to
college too.  Becky managed to stay in school and get the necessary grades
needed to graduate showing the world how smart and tenacious she really
was.

   Tough stuff my Becky is made of.  That's why this cancer thing was
freaking me out so much.  We had been through so much together over the
years.  Three kids, many moves, different problems that almost every
married couple face time to time.  Yet we managed to stay in love, matter
of fact, our love had grown so much that I was now finding this harder to
accept than I had ever dreamed anything like this could be.

   If Becky died, I'd be alone.  All alone.  Our kids were out on their
own, living their lives and they had no need for dad to come barging in.  I
was working, but didn't' really need to since our finances had blossomed
over the years and we were sitting very well now.  Neither of us had to
work at all.  We could just sit back and cruise for the rest of our years
together.

   Well, that had been the plan anyway.  Now this.  I was numb inside.  I
put on the brave front, and watched my wife slowly, oh so slowly, die.  It
was killing her, and it was killing me.  At some point I realized I
couldn't live without her.  I was asleep when it hit me.  I woke up in a
cold sweat, and couldn't shake it either.  I knew...I wouldn't make it
without Becky.

   That's when I began to plan my demise.  I would die about six months
after Becky did.  It wouldn't be a suicide, well, so much that anyone could
tell for certain anyway.  I would go out in a blaze of glory...of sorts. 
Fire tends to blaze doesn't it?  Nobody would be able to tell it was a
suicide and the resulting findings would leave my insurance policy in
effect.  The kids would be taken care of for the rest of their lives, and
I'd have my peace.

   I didn't count on Becky seeing right through me.  She did.  Almost at
the very moment I thought it all up too.  Her insight into me was always
right on the money.  She had been that way for years.  She could read me a
mile away, blindfolded.  My voice maybe?  Inflections in how I spoke might
have tipped her off?  I was never sure but I knew that I could never hide
anything from her.  I never had been able to.  She knew me inside and out.

   We fought over it a bit, but in the end I knew that Becky wouldn't quit
until I gave in.  It took every bit of every little thing I had to cover it
up and let her think I had changed my mind.  At times I would have to look
somewhere else while talking to her, even in a dark room.  I just couldn't
give up my plan that easy, and she couldn't accept it either.

   I was finding that Becky's sex drive was kicking into high gear too.  It
was like she wanted to make up for the time she'd be gone or something.  At
times I felt guilty having sex with her knowing that she was ill.  She
would tell me that she wanted it, but I figured she was just trying to
be...I don't know...a good wife?  Making up for the time we'd lose?  I
never realized that her sex drive had kicked in for some reason, and that
she was truly wanting me that way until almost too late.

   It was difficult at times since I knew she was going to die soon.  I
didn't want to lose her.  Not like this, and not so soon in our lives.  I
guess I had no choice in the matter, as neither did she.  It was awkward
around each other for a bit after we finally understood her end was coming.
I was afraid of hurting her, she was afraid I would be hurt.

   After a couple of weeks of that we finally got it all straightened out.
Then, her friend Samantha came along.  I was very suspicious at first since
Becky had tried to fix me up with her other friends.  She was afraid that
I'd go off and die on my own and she also thought I needed to have someone
to love after she was gone.  Like I could have done that.  I mean, she had
my heart, there was nobody in the world that would ever get it now.

   Samantha turned out to be a great person and one that I felt comfortable
around.  As far as I could tell, she was not interested in me 'that' way. I
was relieved, yet still suspicious.  I knew Becky well, and I knew she
hadn't given up hope that I'd find someone else to love.  Like I could.

   I have always prided myself on my ability to judge someone's age.  I had
never been off too far in the past, and usually I'd only let some woman lie
a bit to in order to not embarrass them.  Yet, I knew the age of most of
the women I would meet within a few minutes.  I was usually within a year
or less too.  I had been told I was uncanny in that skill and it had served
me well in business over the years too.

   Anyway, when I met Samantha for the first time I was struck at how much
younger she was than Becky.  This woman was supposed to have been in
college while Becky was?  NO WAY.  She had to be at least ten years younger
than Becky.  At the very least ten years, and probably more like fifteen if
I was any judge.

   When I questioned them on the age difference, I was expecting some angry
stares from Becky, but I never got them.  Instead I got a nervous looking
wife and a fast talking Samantha.  My suspicions were aroused even farther
with that.

   The explanation was satisfactory, if one was easy to pull the wool over
their eyes.  I let them think I bought it, but deep down I decided to do
some research on young Miss Samantha.  In the mean time, her quick wit and
good nature won me over, even though I intended to find out more about her
through other channels.

   When we first met, Samantha was wearing a dress that hid nothing and
gave me the impression of a beautiful woman that had a body to kill for. 
At first I was thinking that Becky had not given up finding a spouse
replacement for her, and I was about to get all upset about it.  Then, the
next day when Samantha was wearing very conservative clothes, I realized
that maybe she hadn't been dressed like that for me.  After all she had
originally come here on account of her job.

   As time went on and Samantha moved in and took over the care of Becky, I
found her to be quite easy going and nice to be around.  I was nervous once
or twice when we got too comfortable.  She had gotten used to running
around like Becky and I would in the past without company around, and at
times the short nightie's she wore would be very distracting to me.  I
mean, she did have a nice body...a very nice body.

   One night while I was watching TV, she came out in a robe.  Sitting with
me and drinking her coffee, I began to notice things about her that I
shouldn't have.  Like the swell of her breasts just showing, and the shape
of her calves.  So taught and muscular, yet soft and feminine too.  I was
getting aroused just sitting there near her.  About the time I was going to
give up and go to bed, she got up and told me goodnight.

   As she bent to pick up her coffee cup, her robe parted and I had a view
of her breasts, hanging unfettered.  They were perfect one's too.  Nipples
were fitting to someone with her features, and she reminded me of a playboy
model.  Yet, she didn't turn me that way since my next thoughts were of
Becky's breasts and how I loved to suck and nibble on her nipples.

   I pretended to not notice and she was quick in looking at me to see if I
had seen her.  Luckily she missed my gawking, and as she left she whispered
good night to me.

   "Goodnight John.  Sleep tight."

   "You too Samantha.  I'm headed to bed myself.  In a minute anyway."

   I watched her walk away to the guest bedroom wondering if Becky had
managed to work some kind of deal with this woman to slip into my life.  I
shook it off since nothing so far had led me to see that they were
conspiring anything like that.  I had not been able to find out much about
Samantha's work, other than she had worked a long time ago for one company
as a buyer.

   Samantha was paying attention to Becky and I was just a side note to
her. At least the impression she gave me was she was not interested in
me...other than I was her friend's husband.  Still, I had suspicions on the
whole matter.  I couldn't help it, Becky had tried so hard earlier to get
her replacement in my life that I just didn't want to let my guard down.

   One night Becky really got turned on and we outdid ourselves.  We went
at it all night long with few rest breaks.  At one point I was fucking her
as she lay spread beneath me and she began to cry out.  In the past, Becky
had been quiet and conservative in bed.  This was part of a whole bunch of
things that had changed with her.

   At the moment of her orgasm she let out a huge scream.  The next thing
we knew, Samantha was in the room, having thought that Becky was having
troubles.  Seeing us as we were, she blushed and turned and ran out.  I had
started to go soft, but Becky really turned up the heat to keep me up and
rigid.

   Later, I thought back to that moment and wondered how Samantha had
gotten into our bedroom so fast.  Way too fast.  It made me think that
something may not be quite right.  Of course, she had been embarrassed and
the next morning she was still embarrassed.  So I dismissed that whole
episode as a true mistake.

   Things like that began to happen more and more, usually when Becky was
really wound up it seemed.  Then came the night that Becky decided to have
me do her out in the living room.  I should have known better, but Samantha
had gone out for the evening, and we figured we'd be alone for at least an
hour or two.

   I had been sitting besides her, holding her to me as we kissed and
enjoyed each other's presence.  Becky then began to escalate things by
fondling my cock through my pants.  I responded by fondling her breasts,
and the next thing we knew we were off.  Stripping her clothes off right
there in the living room was a trip since we hardly ever made love any
place other than the bedroom.

   I kissed her breasts, sucking her nipples in and just loving them. 
Becky had her hands on my cock and was trying to move around so she could
suck me.  I moved up a bit, and pretty soon we were in a sixty-nine.  Becky
on top sucking my cock and me underneath licking her very wet pussy.  We
were like that for a bit, then I rolled her off me and we ended up on the
floor.  Laughing, we kept on going.  I moved between her legs, and
positioned my cock at her entrance.

   Becky was mewling, wanting me to fuck her now and fuck her hard.  I
plunged in, and as I bottomed out she cried out loudly.

   "YESSSSSS.  OH God...YESSSSSS."

   Hearing her having so much pleasure drove me to improve and do better. I
loved to hear Becky.  Especially since we had spent the last years being so
quiet due to the kids and all.  Now, we could be loud and do pretty much
whatever we wanted.  Her newfound love of sucking my cock still surprised
me.  It was like I had found another person in the body of my wife somehow.

   Anyway, I was fucking her hard and fast and she was screaming.  I came
as she did, and her legs shot up and around my back locking me inside her.
I collapsed on her then rolled to one side.  We laid there basking in the
glory of our copulation, when we heard it.

   "Ahem.  Sorry.  I forgot my wallet.  Came back for it.  It's right
there, on the coffee table."

   Becky had a look in her eyes that made me wonder.  She was smiling like
nothing was wrong, while I scrambled for my clothes.  I felt like I had
been caught in her parent's house before we were married.  It was surreal
in many ways to me.  By the time I had found my shorts, Samantha had a nice
long look at my raging hardness.  I hadn't gone soft yet, and as a matter
of fact, I had been getting harder thinking about what was next for Becky
and I.

   "So Samantha, what do you think of John?  Did I lie?  Isn't he huge?"

   "It's um...nice.  Very nice.  Too bad he's taken.  If he weren't I'd be
making some moves on him, that's for sure."

   "Uh...I'm not available though."

   "We know John.  I told Sam about your cock the other day...it came up in
conversation, don't look so shocked.  Women talk about things like that all
the time."

   "Yeah, well, not my...um..."

   "Cock John...your cock."

   "Becky, you're not helping me here."

   I was embarrassed.  Samantha had a nice long look at me before I found
some clothes, and by the time I had covered up she was gone.  Grabbing her
wallet her last words to us were;

   "You two don't do nothing I wouldn't do, okay?"

   Later, as we made love soft and gently in our room I asked Becky about
Samantha's timing lately.  The response I got made me get suspicious all
over again.  She froze up, not moving, then I felt her relax.  Just as if I
had caught her, then she decided I hadn't.  I wouldn't have been able to
tell except that I was hard and deep inside her, and when she froze up, her
pussy tightened up around my shaft enough that I knew there was something
up.

   The next day I started asking questions.

   "Becky, are you sure you aren't trying to pawn me off on Samantha?  I
mean, you've both been setting me up lately.  Enough that I think you are."

   "NO.  I told you I wouldn't do that John, and I haven't.  You are
getting paranoid in your old age."

   "I'm not all that old Becky."

   "Yeah, but you are getting more paranoid."

   "Well, you've given me reasons to be that way you know."

   "Oh yeah?  Well, so have you.  What about you and doing the will all
over again last week?  We just did it a month ago, and I saw you in your
office the other night, working on it yet again.  Are you still planning
something that you told me you weren't?

   Damn...she turned it all around on me so smoothly and fast I had to
think quickly to cover my surprise.  She almost had me caught.

   "NO.  I haven't.  I was just making sure that everything is in order. 
That's all."

   "Yeah...like that paperwork changed magically all by itself since last
month.  John, I know you and I know you've been hiding something from me. I
can tell you're still planning to do something stupid.  After you promised
me you wouldn't too."

   She began to cry and I felt about as bad as I had for a long time.  How
could I make her understand without her my life wasn't worth living?  How
could I make her see that I'd be useless without her in my life?  I would
be.  Totally useless.  I'd have no reason at all to go on.  I would have
day after day of numbness and loneliness.

   "Becky, I can't go on without you.  You have been my life for so long I
can't possibly go on without you.  Can't you see that?  You're leaving me
and I'll be alone for the rest of my life.  I can't take that thought.  I
just can't."

   "Oh John."

   Her voice was soft and low.  I could see that I had hurt her again. 
Once again I had cut her soul.  I felt bad about it all, but at the same
time I couldn't bring myself to admit that I needed to apologize to her.

   "John, I love you and always have.  You have to get over me...and you
need to start now.  I won't be there for you anymore, that's true.  That
doesn't mean that someone else can't fill my shoes.  Maybe even better than
I have."

   "Don't say that.  Don't ever say that again.  You've been the only one
for me forever Rebecca.  You have been my life.  I've lived for you...and
without you...I'll die.  That is how it is."

   Becky had gotten up and was approaching me.  I never saw it coming until
it was too late.  I was expecting a hug.  Instead she began to hit me,
hard, very hard.  I heard her screaming, yelling, and her fists hitting me
about my head, shoulders and stomach.

   "GOD DAMN YOU JOHN.  DAMN YOU.  YOU bastard...you ass.  I can't believe
that you're thinking of killing yourself just because I won't be around. 
Damn you.  GOD DAMN YOU.  You have everything to live for and a healthy
body to do it in.  You have some nerve trying to take away from my
children's lives now.  How dare you.  HOW DARE YOU.  YOU...YOU..."

   She broke down crying.  Samantha had run into the room, only hearing
yelling, and I could see shock registering on her face.  I had a bloody
nose and red marks on my cheeks where Becky had connected quite well with
her fists.  I had just stood there taking the hits, not sure why either. 
Becky had collapsed into my arms by the time Samantha got there, and I'm
not sure what she thought had happened between us, though it was obvious
something had.

   "Is everything all right guys?"

   "NO...everything is not all right.  This asshole is still planning on
offing himself after I die.  He may not make it that far though...I'm about
ready to do him in right now."

   "What?"

   "It's nothing Samantha.  Becky is just upset."

   "UPSET?  YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M UPSET.  You look Samantha and me in the
eyes and tell us that you haven't been planning to kill yourself.  LOOK US
IN THE EYES and say that you're fine with all of this and that you're
planning on working and living for a long, long time.  GO AHEAD JOHN.  DO
IT."

   She had me there.  I couldn't look anyone in the eye and say that
without showing that it would be a lie.  I looked at the wall and then down
at the floor.  I was a mess.  I turned and walked out, heading to the
bathroom to clean up; leaving Becky crumpled on the couch where she had
collapsed, crying her heart out.

   As I wiped my face with the washcloth, I heard someone come into the
bathroom with me.  Turning to see, I found Samantha staring at me.  All she
did was stare and it began to make me uncomfortable.  Finally, my
discomfort becoming more and more pronounced, I had to get something out of
her.

   "What?"

   "Have you ever thought of what this is doing to Becky?"

   "What do you mean?  Once she's gone, it won't matter anymore."

   "But it will.  She's going over to the next step in life and you're
leaving her with the knowledge that when she goes, you will kill yourself
because of her.  How do you suppose that makes her feel?  You are doing
more to hurt her than you imagine.  Not only does she have to deal with her
dying; she has to worry about your worthless ass too.  That's what you are
too, by the way.  A worthless ass."

   "What do you know about anything?  What do you know?"

   "I know that Becky has done things for you that you have no idea of, and
you never will.  She has loved you without fail, without remorse and
without fear.  Until now.  You're destroying her last days on earth with
you and her family, all for selfish reasons of your own making.  I can't
believe you John.  I really can't.  Isn't it enough for you that Becky is
dying?  Are you so spineless that you'd give up without her?  What kind of
man are you?"

   "You don't understand.  I love her so much..."

   "That you will ruin her last memories of you two together.  You will
give up on her now, when she needs you most.  You will give up on her kids,
and her soon to be grandkids."

   "They're my kids too."

   "Are they really?  You are giving them up rather easy.  Maybe you never
liked your kids?  Maybe you hated your kids?  Maybe you hate Becky now too?
Maybe you..."

   "HOW DARE YOU.  I love Becky and I love my kids.  How dare you say that
I don't.  Where do you get off walking in here and acting like you're queen
of all knowing, while I lose the love of my life?  Where do you get off
telling me anything about my family?  You don't know me at all...not at
all."

   "I know your type.  Weak and insufferable.  You'd let your wife have a
miserable last few weeks or months all at her expense...just because you
are a selfish brat.  You're letting your 'poor me' attitude take over your
life while the rest of the world moves on.  Do you think anyone will care
when you're gone?  Do you?  Maybe your kids will...your grandkids will
never know you so you'll just be the crazy old man that killed himself
because he couldn't manage to function without grandma.  You are a foolish,
foolish man John...very foolish."

   She turned and walked out on me.  I was fuming now, angry that she had
interfered in my life.  Angry that she had the nerve to accuse me
of...of...being selfish.  It was at that moment that I knew that is what I
had been.  Selfish.  I had been unable to accept the loss of Becky, and I
had begun to work out a way to make it 'acceptable' to me.  I sat down on
the toilet and cried.

   I was losing my wife, the one person I truly loved and needed in my
life, and I had been acting like a fool.  I had gotten caught up in my own
misery and miserable plan, all at the expense of my wife's last days.  I
was making her last days about as bad as I could, and I hadn't seen it.  I
felt about as low as I ever had at that moment.  How could I make this up
to Becky now?

   Not only that, Samantha had just shown me that she cared about Becky
more than I did.  She had been here, of her own free will, staying with us
in case we needed anything.  She had been there for Becky while I had been
off working out my plan.  I was ashamed of myself.  What I had become I had
done on my own.  Now I had to fix things, if I could.

   I had also been suspicious of them both.  I was sure, right up until now
anyway, that they had some crazy scheme cooked up to take care of me after
Becky died.  I had been thinking about that so often lately, that I had
actually put my main plan on the back burner for a bit.

   I cleaned up and checked myself out in the mirror.  Opening the door, I
saw our bedroom door closing, and I almost ran to open it.  Only, I found
when I got there, it was locked.  Becky was locking me out now?  Was that
it for us?  Had I really screwed things up so bad I couldn't fix them now?
I spent the night on the couch in the den.  In the morning I woke up to
find someone had covered me with a blanket while I slept.

   Stretching, I worked the kinks out of my back, wondering who had done me
the favor.  It didn't take long to figure that out.  Samantha walked out in
her robe, two cups of coffee in her hands.

   "I thought you might want something hot to drink this morning."

   "You...uh...the blanket...that was you?"

   "Nope.  Becky did that.  She was upset last night, and after you went to
sleep, she came out and just sat there, watching you.  When she finally
went to bed, she covered you up first.  You really hurt her John.  You
really did.  Had it been me, I'd have kicked your ass out the door."

   "I know.  I thought about it all and realized that I've been acting like
a fool.  I was being selfish, like you said, and I didn't see it.  You and
Becky opened my eyes last night...I just hope I'm not too late to fix
things now."

   "I don't think you are.  It's a sobering thought to know that you've
been wrong about something isn't it?  I've been there several times...it's
never pretty."

   "Yeah.  It isn't."

   We drank our coffee in silence after that exchange, while I stewed over
what I could do to make things right between us.  Between all of us.  I had
hurt Samantha as well as Becky last night, although it appeared that
Samantha was over it already.  For the first time I looked at her in a
different light.  A far different light than I had before.

   Samantha was a genuine person and a good and loving person too.  She was
someone who was worthy of sharing a life with.  Just like Becky, but
different too.  I finally saw her as a woman without any guards or shields
up.  I wasn't looking at her like she was in some kind of plan to 'save'
me. But here she had.  She had opened my eyes up to what I had been doing
to Becky.

   "I owe you an apology."

   "For what?"

   "Last night."

   "No.  You owe that to Becky.  I was just here for both of you guys,
that's all."

   "Yeah, but I was a bit hard on you.  You've been here for us...mostly
Becky, but both of us in many ways too.  I had no right accusing you of
anything like I did last night.  None."

   "Forget about it John.  You were upset, and not thinking clearly.  It
happens."

   "Well, I'm sorry anyway.  Please forgive me."

   "Okay, okay, you're forgiven.  Now...go fix things with Becky."

   I left her and went in to our bedroom door.  Knocking, I waited until
Becky opened it up.

   "Oh, it's you."

   "Look...I've been a fool Becky.  I...I was thinking of myself instead of
you, even though I had fooled myself into believing I was thinking of you.
I'm so sorry.  I never meant to hurt..." "This another plan to throw me off
John?"

   "NO.  Look, last night Samantha made me see how big a fool I've been.  I
thought about it and I have nothing that I can say that can make up for how
I've acted or what I planned.  Our kids mean the world to me too, I was
just caught up in losing you and..."

   "Really?  Honest?  Are you telling me the truth?  How will I be able to
tell if you are telling the truth...now?"

   Her voice was hollow sounding and empty.  Without realizing it, I had
begun to cry.  Tears were running down my cheeks as I finally came face to
face with how wrong and stupid I had been.

   "All I can say is that I won't try to do something stupid like kill
myself.  I won't give up on life or living.  I will miss you Becky...I will
miss you so much...but I will be here for our grandkids, your grandkids.  I
promise that."

   "Fine."

   I stood there unable to find the words to convince her that I meant what
I said.  I was desperate to let her see that I was being honest with
her...finally.  She turned and went back into the bedroom leaving the door
open.  I stepped inside and stood there just watching her.  It became
crystal clear that I was seeing her for some of the last times I ever
would, and I had wasted or been wasting time with her that could have been
far better spent loving and enjoying her.

   I went to my knees, wiping my eyes and cheeks clear of my tears as I
did.

   "Becky...Rebecca...I have been an idiot.  I know I don't deserve a
second chance, and for what I've done so far, for the pain I've caused you,
I can't take that back.  All I can say is that I will be forever sorry and
regretful for acting as I have.  I have finally realized that you are right
about things and that I do have lots of things to live for. 
Please...please...forgive me?  I don't want us to be angry or upset with
each other anymore.  Please forgive me?"

   "You're not going to off yourself?"

   "No."

   "You're going to try to live well and for a long time?"

   "Yes."

   "You'll find someone else eventually?"

   I hesitated.  I was afraid of this.  I loved her so much, and that
thought that there could be someone else out there haunted me, as much as
feeling that it was dishonoring her or actually, cheating on her to even
think of someone else.  I didn't know how to explain myself to her, and
just knelt there wondering what I could say to cover this situation?

   "Well John?  You'll find someone else eventually?"

   "Uh...I suppose I could.  I mean...right now I think that even the
thought of that leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but eventually I think
maybe I possibly could move...on."

   "Are you shining me on again John?"

   "No...it's just...I just can't bear the thought of losing you already,
and to sit here and say that I will find someone else is...it just doesn't
feel right Becky.  What can I say about that?  What can I say that will
convince you I'll be okay without promising something like this?"

   "Just promise me you will try?"

   "I...I don't want to.  I'm sorry Becky, I just don't want to promise you
anything that I may not be able to deliver."

   We had left the bedroom door open, and Samantha had walked in behind me.
I was first aware of her when she cleared her throat and spoke up.

   "Ahem.  Uh, Becky, I think what John is trying to say is that he can't
tell if he will be able to find someone else because he is still in love
with you so much he would feel like he was cheating on you...or maybe your
memory."

   "Yeah...something like that.  Thank you Samantha."

   "Cheating on me?  John, it's not cheating if I told you to do it.  It's
not cheating if I'm okay with it.  It's not cheating because when that time
comes, I'll be dead.  I'll be gone and you will be alone."

   "Physically maybe...but you will still be in my heart Becky.  In my
soul. In my mind.  In me.  What if it were me that was dying?  Would you
move on?"

   "Well, that's different.  I wouldn't because I would have no need to do
that."

   "Yes you would.  If I were dying I'd want you to be happy too Becky. 
Can't you see that I have loved you forever?  I just can't throw that away
in a minute or a day or a week.  It will take time.  Maybe I will never be
able to find someone else...maybe I won't want to.  That wouldn't be a real
bad thing you know.  Would it?"

   "NOW I believe you.  NOW I can see you are serious and honest with me.
Now you know why I feel the way I do.  Imagine that you were the one dying
and I was left behind John...that's how I would want you to be...just like
you would want me.  What you want for me, I want for you."

   "There...I can see you two finally figured out your problems.  I'll be
in the kitchen brewing up some coffee."

   With that Samantha turned and left the bedroom.  Becky and I embraced
and kissed.  Finally, I understood her whole thinking process.  Finally I
understood why she wanted me to have someone.  I realized that Samantha had
helped us far more than anyone else had up to this point too.  I owed
her...big time.

   "So, is that a pickle in your pocket or are you glad to see me?"

   "It ain't a pickle dearest."

   "Maybe I should fix that for you so it isn't so uncomfortable to stand
or sit down."

   "That would be...great."

   "How about if I call Samantha in and give her a taste of..."

   "Uh...how about just you and me take care of it for now."

   "Later then?" "Samantha?"

   "Why not?"

   "I don't know...she is nice, pretty, and fairly smart..."

   "She is great, beautiful, and very intelligent.  She is also free,
single and I'd bet, looking too."

   "Can we just make love for now and worry about that later?"

   "Nope."

   "Nope?  What then?"

   "I don't want to make love.  I want to be FUCKED.  Fuck me John.  Take
me...use me...FUCK ME."

   "I think I can handle that too."

   I picked her up and almost threw her onto the bed.  She bounced a couple
of times while I started stripping off my clothes.  I crawled up between
her legs once I was naked, and began pulling off her panties.  As they slid
down her thighs she was already moaning.  She undid her bra and pulled it
off as I tossed her panties to one side.

   I moved to kiss her feet, and she giggled.  My tongue tickled her and as
I worked my way up, her giggles turned to moans.  By the time I was at her
inner-thighs, she was thrashing...trying to pull my head up into her pussy,
and also trying to lock her legs around me at the same time.  I held her
legs apart, and then slowly pushed them up and out.  Pretty soon her knees
were on either side of her head, and she was splayed wide open before me.

   I could see her nipples standing out like little rocks, and I knew that
they were very sensitive at that moment.  Reaching up, I took one in
between two fingers and tugged on it.  I could see her juices start to flow
out of her pussy when I did that.  It was as if I had turned on a faucet or
something.

   Licking her pussy lips, I tugged on her nipple, slowly working two
fingers up into her tight wet hole.  I could feel her heat surrounding
those fingers, and my tongue worked over her clit real firmly for a bit. 
Becky suddenly tightened up stiff as a board and came.  I was surprised in
that she rarely had been so responsive to me like this before.  I mean, she
had been responsive, but not as fast as this.

   Holding her legs up and back, I moved down and began to lick all around
her pussy and then her little butt hole.  Becky whispered to me when my
tongue slipped across that little brown bud...

   "Oh...God...that feels...good.  I'm sorry...I am such a slut...but I've
always wanted you to do something like that."

   "Really?  Well, I like doing it too.  Wish I had done something like
this a long time ago."

   I had ate her out lots of times, but never had my tongue gone where it
was now.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been either.  Matter
of fact, I was relishing her response to my efforts now.  My nose was in
her pussy hole, my tongue playing with her asshole.  I could feel it
pulsing as I licked it, and once in a while my tongue would almost slip
inside.  I was getting braver and finally I used my hands to spread her ass
cheeks wide open, and slipped my tongue inside.

   "Oh...ummm...yesss.  Yesss...oh God...yesss....that feels...so
good....do it some more John....do it some more."

   I was happy to oblige, and really began to work over her asshole with my
fingers and tongue.  Becky was headed to an orgasm as I did that, and once
she started, I had my hands full keeping up with her.  Her hands pulled on
my head hard, and I slipped my tongue up to caress her clit as she went
ballistic.  Her legs tightened up around my head, still bent back most of
the way, yet her thighs were just able to grip me firmly.

   I let her use me as she wanted, working to keep my breathing clear.  At
times I thought she was going to smother me, but I managed to keep some air
moving into my lungs.  As she came down, her legs fell to either side of
me, and her hands loosened their grip on me.  I licked her here and there a
bit more, then moved up to suck on her nipples.

   Pretty soon she was getting turned on again, and her response to me was
to twist me onto my back and move down to suck my cock.  I watched her lips
go around the head, then slowly move down my shaft.  I was feeling pretty
good, and since I hadn't been laid the night before, I was close to
shooting.  I told her that.

   "Uh...be careful baby.  I'm real close to shooting already.  You spend
too much time down there I may shoot off in your mouth."

   "Mmmm...that would be great.  I want you to.  Come on sweetie...shoot in
my mouth.  I really want you to."

   Becky was working me over like a pro...when suddenly she shifted
positions.  Straddling my head in a classic sixty-nine, she once again
began to work on my hard throbbing shaft.  I was busy with licking and
sucking on her very wet pussy now.

   I felt her pause for a moment, then she started to really suck on my
shaft, taking the whole thing in.  I could feel the head of my cock in her
throat at times, and her tongue was working magic on the underneath side of
my cock too.

   That's when it hit me.  How was she able to get her tongue on the
underneath side of my cock in a sixty-nine?  I stayed still for a moment
making sure I was feeling it as I imagined, and I was certain after a bit
that her tongue was definitely licking on the vein that ran underneath my
cock.  Her lips were tight around my shaft, yet her tongue was in a
position that defied the way we were laying.

   I began to move around, trying to see how in the world she was able to
do what she was doing, but her legs had me held down.  I felt her knees
tighten up around my shoulders, and her pussy drove down into my face.  I
wasn't in danger of suffocating, but I could tell she was preventing me
from getting free to see what was going on.

   I gave up after a bit, and let the sensations take over.  It did feel
good, whatever she was doing, and I loved it.  I began to feel the
stirrings of my orgasm approaching, so I moaned into her pussy to let her
know that I was about to cum.  Becky exploded in an orgasm on my face when
I moaned, evidently the vibrations from my moaning causing her to take off.

   I started to shoot off at that same time, and as I came, I felt her lips
tighten even more near the base of my shaft.  Feeling her throat working to
swallow my load really set me off and I came harder yet.  I about passed
out, the sensations were so overloading me.

   As I laid there, recovering from a tremendous orgasm, I just savored the
feel of the tongues licking my shaft.

   'TONGUES'?!



   Plural, as in two of them.  One on top, and one underneath.  Both
running up and down my shaft at the same time, then switching off and one
going up while the other went down.  Once in a while, the one underneath
was going down and licking my balls too.  Definitely two tongues were
licking me.  It was at that point that I realized what was happening.  It
had to be Samantha in there with us.  It had to be.  At least, it was
someone other than Becky in there with us.

   I was rock hard still, and I could tell that I wasn't going to go soft
for a bit now.  I could feel Becky sitting up, still straddling my face and
not letting me see what was going on.  The next thing I felt was something
warm, tight, and hot moving down over my shaft.  I could feel wetness, and
then muscles milking my shaft.

   My wife was straddled my face as I continued eating her out, while
someone else was on my cock, fucking!  My initial thought was to stop all
of this and find out what was happening.  My second and baser instinct took
over, reveling in the pleasures and sensations I was experiencing.

   I relaxed as best I could in the situation I was in, and went with the
flow.  After all, if another woman was here with us, and Becky was still on
top of me, it must be with her full knowledge and consent.  I just wish
that they had talked to me about this and let me give my consent too.  At
any rate, I was enjoying this.

   I ate Becky out while someone fucked herself on my cock.  I was not
going to cum for a while having just came like I had, so they were going to
have me for however long they wanted.  After a bit Becky moved to get off
me, using her hands to cover my eyes, and whoever had been fucking me
slipped off my shaft and onto my face in a very practiced move.

   Before I knew it, the strange woman was on my face, her shaved pussy
rubbing on my nose and lips.  I soon felt Becky, or who I assumed was
Becky, (Not being able to see for certain.) mounting my still hard cock.  I
just kept on, actually beginning to really enjoy this treat.

   My hands being free, I moved them up the body on top of my face, and
found two very firm and nice breasts bouncing around.  I knew then, by the
touch of her nipples, that it was Samantha on my face now.  I remembered
how they had looked that night her robe had parted and I had such a great
view.

   Had they planned this all?  Was it just an instant happening kind of
thing?  I was betting on the former rather than the latter...but we would
see later.

   I pulled and tugged on the nipples between my fingers and was rewarded
with a wet pussy slipping and sliding all over my nose and lips.  I had my
tongue out, licking as I could, trying for her clit, but usually just
having to suffice at where it ended up at that moment.

   Becky was fucking me hard and fast, shaking the whole bed.  I could tell
that I was about to start building for another orgasm, and was very happy
that it was Becky on my cock.  Samantha was grinding down hard on my face
now and cumming like crazy.  I licked up her juices as best I could, my
face was wet with them.

   I could feel Becky shuddering on my cock, and her pussy grabbing my cock
hard.  That set me off and I started to cum too.  Afterwards, as we all
laid in a heap on the bed I rose up into a sitting position to look at the
two tired women.

   "So...whose idea was this?"

   They both spoke at once.

   "Mine." "Mine."

   "Hmmm...who's this 'mine' person and where did they come from?  Should I
send them a couple bucks or something for the pleasures I've gotten so far
tonight?"

   I started to laugh at my poor joke as two pillows began hitting me.  I
laid back and covered my face...while reaching out to hug someone to me
tightly.  It ended up being Becky, and I was happy for that little fact. 
Samantha cuddled in along side of us and I put an arm around her too. 
Hugging them, naked as they were, seemed natural.

   We fell asleep like that, and later on I had to get up to pee.  I
slipped out of bed and did my business, then went out to the kitchen, naked
still, for a glass of water.  As I stood in front of the kitchen sink
drinking I heard someone come up behind me.

   "Hope you are all right with that little surprise."

   "Caught me off guard.  I wasn't expecting it at all.  Out of the blue."

   "Becky thought it would be best this way."

   "So, I guess you are she then?"

   "She?"

   "The one that Becky has picked out to replace her?"

   "No...well, not replace exactly...just...join you.  Does that upset you
still?"

   "Actually, it felt...I mean to say...uh...damn...I'm getting all tongue
tied now for some strange reason."

   "Maybe it's because you're naked yet, and your cock is getting hard
too."

   I hadn't noticed that until she mentioned it.  It was true, I was naked
and my cock was stirring to life.  She was standing there naked as I, and I
could see her nipples were hard as two little rocks too.  I wasn't the only
one turned on it appeared.  Of course on her behalf, it could have been a
bit cool in the kitchen at that moment, which would have caused hard
nipples too, but I was betting on the former again, instead of the latter.

   "I'm not the only one naked you know."

   "Yes...I know.  So...should we head back to the bedroom and see if Becky
wants to join in too?"

   "Becky is here and wanting to watch for a bit.  You two go ahead and
start.  Right here...right now."

   Becky had walked in as we were talking.  I looked into her eyes, wanting
some kind of reassurance that she was okay with this, but her statement
more than told me what I was wondering.  I took Samantha's hand, pulling
her to me, and as her breasts pressed into my chest, I put an arm around
her holding her fast.  My other hand shot out and grabbed Becky and pulled
her in to us too.

   Naked, we shared a three-way hug.  Then, Becky broke away and giving my
cock a little playful tug, she spoke to both of us.

   "Well...go on.  Give me a show worth watching now.  I've been wondering
for a long time what it would be like to see two people making love in
person.  Don 't disappoint me now.  Come on...get going."

   Samantha looked into my eyes and kissed me.  I held her to my body,
feeling her nipples driving into my chest.  My cock throbbed between us,
coming up between her legs and rubbing her already wet pussy lips.  I moved
my hips back and forth a bit, loving the feeling her wetness was giving me.
I was doing something for her too it seemed as she moaned softly, and
ground back.

   I moved her back and put Samantha's butt up against the kitchen table.
As she leaned back, I picked up on her thighs, and sat her up on it.  I
pushed between her spread legs, my cock rubbing on her clit.  I bent down,
licking her nipples before taking one at a time into my mouth and sucking
on them.

   I stopped at this point and looked over at Becky, wanting to make sure
she was approving of this.  I was uncertain to the extent that it was not
my wife I was about to enjoy sexually, even after last night.  It was all
happening so fast for me.  Becky winked at me and smiled, nodding her head
to direct my attentions back to Samantha.

   Becky had moved to sit in kitchen chair only inches from where we were,
getting a great view of us.  My cock slid into Samantha's pussy, and as
soon as I was half way in, I held still, giving her a chance to get used to
me.  Bit by bit I worked in the rest of it, and by the time I bottomed out
she was moaning, crying out for me to fuck her.

   I began to stroke in and out, getting faster and faster as I went, until
pretty soon I was driving into her so fast I broke out in a sweat.  I
slowed down a bit, letting us both catch a breath, and then I began to
rotate when I would bottom out.

   Before I knew it, I was getting ready to shoot off, and Samantha was
about there too.  I reached out and grasping a nipple in each hand, pulled
on them gently, bringing her up and over into her orgasm.  As soon as she
cried out and started shaking, I began to thrust in and out hard and fast,
only stopping when I came.  At that point I drove fully into her hot and oh
so tight pussy, and actually shoved the table back a few inches as I did.

   I sat down afterwards, a hand on Samantha's thigh, as she lay out on the
table.  Becky suddenly did something that I had never dreamed she'd do. 
Pushing me aside, she moved her chair to be in between Samantha's legs, and
started to lick and kiss her pussy.  I sat there, stunned at the spectacle
in front of me.  My wife, licking and kissing another woman's pussy.

   I leaned in close, and once in a while, Becky would lean over to me and
kiss me, her tongue slipping between my lips.  I could taste Samantha and
me on her when she did that, and though I didn't think I'd really like it,
I found it to not be too bad tasting.

   Pretty soon, Becky had Samantha about to cum again.  Once she had her
there, I moved behind Becky's chair, and pulled her into a standing
position, with her bending over to keep up her work on Samantha.  Shoving
the chair out of the way, I stepped in behind Becky and pushed my now hard
cock into her pussy.

   Becky stopped me, and reaching out, grabbed some butter.  Moving her
hand between her ass cheeks, she spread it in and around her bottom, and
then shook her ass at me.  Never having moved her tongue away from
Samantha's pussy while doing so.

   Knowing what she wanted, I place the head of my cock back there and
pushed.  A little familiar 'pop' and I was in.  Gently and slowly, I worked
my whole cock inside her.  Once I bottomed out I held still for a bit,
letting her ass get used to the invader back there.  While I did that, my
hands were busy playing with her breasts.

   Once Becky relaxed a bit, I started to fuck her backdoor.  As I did,
Samantha held Becky's head to her pussy, and had an orgasm.  Becky moved to
one side, allowing Samantha to get up, and as I continued to fuck Becky's
ass, Samantha sat up and watched.

   Pretty soon Becky came, and came hard.  As she did, she reached back and
spread her ass cheeks wide, showing Samantha that I was in her ass. 
Samantha leaned in, and looked closely, and just her head being there
watching us fuck like that did something inside me, and I came hard.  I
didn't think I had much left in me, but I found out under the right
circumstances, one could have more than they thought.

   After that, we all went in and showered.  The girls helped me wash my
back and I helped them wash theirs.  I dried off and then went back to bed
and slept for a bit.  When I woke up later, Becky and I were alone in the
house.  Samantha had gone to see a friend according to Becky and she'd be
back later.

   We sat in the kitchen, dressed now, and had some coffee while we talked.
Enlightening was a key word on this visit.

   "Are you upset with me John?"

   "Upset?  No.  Surprised maybe...a bit uncertain too, but not upset."

   "Do you like Samantha?"

   "Obviously."

   "I mean, do you like her...more than as a friend?"

   "Oh...so you do plan to shove her off onto me then?"

   "You make it sound like some chore or something.  She's a very beautiful
woman and she is also very sexual.  She'd be a great partner for you too. I
think she likes you on top of that.  That's saying a lot, considering the
way you treated her at first."

   "I just don't like the fact that you are match making for me Becky.  I
know you're worried and all, but I just can't drop you in a second and take
up with another woman just like that."

   "I'm not asking you to.  I am showing and telling you that if you want
to start a relationship with Samantha, I'm more than willing to share you
with her.  Only her...but I can see that you two are hitting it off
finally."

   "Can't I just love you and keep you around instead?"

   "Don't you think I'll get a little rank smelling eventually?  Besides,
what would people say?  I can see you now...'Hi, I'm John, and this is my
wife Becky.  She's a little...dead...but I like having her around.'"

   "Damn you have a morbid sense of humor.  How can you joke about
something like that anyway?"

   "If I dwell on my close at hand end too much it drives me crazy John,
this lets me...I don't know...blow it off a bit."

   "It's just a lot to take in Becky.  I mean I spent years being faithful
and cherishing you.  Now suddenly I'm supposed to change over to wanting
and liking someone else...at your insistence.  Kind of hard for me to work
out in the ol' head, you know?"

   "I don't want you to just like Samantha John...I want you to love her.
Just like you love me.  I want you to be together forever after."

   "I don't know...I don't know Becky.  You're asking an awful lot of me.
I'll try...but I can't promise anything."

   "You trying is all I need to hear.  I am going to hold you to that John.
You must try to fall in love with Samantha.  You have to try.  If that
means dating her and all that goes with it, then so be it.  I want you to
enjoy her and love her.  Whatever it takes."

   I was beginning to understand more and more that Becky was going to be
single minded in her determination of making sure I had someone in my life.
Samantha wouldn't be a bad choice as far as I was concerned.  I made a
decision at that point to at least give Samantha a chance.  After all, I
had sampled her already, and found her to be very nice sexually.

   Something I wasn't aware of was that Becky had talked to our kids and
told them about her plans for making sure I had someone in my life after
she was gone.  Becky hadn't told them how she had made the deal, but only
that she wanted someone there for me.  She had gone so far as to tell them
it would be Samantha, so they should support her last wishes and make sure
to give Samantha a real chance.  That all came out later, but at this point
she had already figured out that her plan had a large chance of success.