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   Sudden Shock









   I had been feeling kind of ill.  Then, one day while I was at work, I
went to urinate and the fire that resulted caused me to cry out in sheer
agony.  It burned like you wouldn't believe.  Like a red-hot poker had been
rammed right up my pee-hole.  I also have funny little bumps all over the
head of my cock too.

   I left work immediately, and went to our doctor.  After a thorough
check-up and a few tests he called me into his office.

   "I have to ask you some very personal questions Jim.  They are not easy
one's but the law requires it now."

   I was confused for a minute...why would the law have anything to do with
my agony?

   "Uh...Okay I guess doc.  But why?"

   "Well...I'm not sure how to tell you this Jim, but you have an STD.  One
that is treatable and will go away, but an STD none the less."

   His words hit me like they were a freight train coming through a long
tunnel.  I was trying to understand what he was saying, but the STD word
had hit me hard.  How could that be possible?  I had never cheated on my
wife...not even as little as touching another woman.

   Yet...I had a STD.

   "Jim?  Jim?  Are you okay?"

   "Hell no I'm not okay doc!  How could I have gotten a STD?  I have never
cheated on my wife, nor have I been with another person sexually at all. 
I've not kissed anyone else either.  How could I have gotten this?  From a
toilet seat?  What?"

   "Uh...well Jim...some of the questions I'm going to ask you are about
all that.  Who have been your sexual partners lately?"

   "My wife...she is the only...my wife...I've only been with...my...Oh...I
think I'm going to be..."

   I bent over, my stomach in knots.  He shoved a small trashcan in front
of me from the side of his desk.  I threw up.  It took some time before I
could regain my composure.  My wife...it had to have been my wife that gave
me this STD.

   The shock of the knowledge that my wife had given me a STD was complete.
The doctor had been our doctor for years; he had delivered our kids, all
three of them.  His look was one of extreme sorrow.

   "I'm sorry Jim.  Usually...I mean...well...I figured that you may
have...what with your traveling so much...I'm sorry."

   "So...what do I have to do now doc?  I mean...my wife obviously has been
cheating on me, or not telling me something quite important.  What's the
next step?"

   "I need to know who her partners have been.  You have to be totally
honest with me too Jim.  If you have been with someone else..."

   "I told you doc.  I've never...ever been with another woman...or man for
that matter."

   I added that man part since he gave me a look that foretold he was going
to ask that next.

   "Then, we have to assume that your wife gave it to you.  You will need
to tell her and then have her come in for treatment.  Hopefully it will not
be progressed to the point where it isn't treatable for her.  She will have
to tell us who she has been with...and if it has been more than one
person...all of those people."

   "Why would you have to know that?"

   "We'll need to contact everyone she's been with sexually, and let them
know...they have a right to know.  The CDC will require it too.  They'll be
notified, and I'm sure an investigator will check into it all as well."

   I sat there, the knowledge that my straight-laced and oh-so-proper wife
had cheated on me and given me a STD.  My marriage...what was going to
happen when I got home?  What would she say?  Why?  Why had she gone
outside of our loving marriage?

   We had been married for fifteen years, and our kids were just now
getting into the age where I could see just her and I being able to go and
do things together.  Alone.  Obviously, she had other plans already.

   I left the doctors office after he talked to me.  He was worried that I
might go over the top and do something stupid, but truthfully, my mind was
so numb I just couldn't have done anything at that time.  I went home,
early for the first time in months.  Arriving there, I found her car gone
and I had the house to myself.  The kids were still in school and would be
for the next three hours.

   I sat there, not able to have a drink that I desperately wanted, but due
to the antibiotics I was taking, I couldn't have.  I sat there in my chair
in the living room...numb and silent.  I went over the last years with my
wife wondering how and when she had decided to step out of our vows and be
with another.  I wondered if I hadn't been enough for her.

   My mind was toast.  I heard the front door open...and her laugh as she
walked in.  A laugh that stilled when she saw me sitting there in the
chair. Her boyfriend was right behind her and he looked like a little boy
caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

   "Oh...Jim...what are you doing home in the middle of the day?"

   "Tell lover boy that he gave you an STD, whore."

   I was getting angry.  Had she had the nerve to have been fucking this
asshole in my bed?  Had she been so callous that she was giving her love to
another in the house I had paid for?  I was about to blow up.

   "Jim...what are you talking about?"

   I exploded.

   "You...cunt." I hissed those words out, so angry that I was barely able
to contain myself.  "You gave me an STD...and I had to go to the doctor
today because my dick was on fire.  Asshole there gave you a STD.  You
need...you both need to go in and see a doctor...now."

   "How dare you call me a..."

   "Cunt?  That's what you are, whore.  You, my supposedly faithful wife,
have been fucking some asshole and he gave you a STD.  One that I could
have only gotten from you since I, your legal and rightful husband and
lover have never cheated on you.  You...you...just go...get the hell out.
Go to the doctor and get checked out.  Whore.  You fucking...whore."

   She burst into tears, knowing that she had been caught, and now she had
a STD on top of that.  I just collapsed into my chair that I had stood up
from while yelling at my cheating bitch of a wife.  Her lover turned and
almost ran to his car.  He was for sure headed to a doctor.  He hadn't
known about the STD and I began to wonder if he had in fact, given it to
her.  Had she gotten it somewhere else?

   "I'm so sorry...Jim...I didn't know...it just...happened...and..."

   "I told you whore...get the fuck out and go to the doctor.  I don't want
to hear it.  I don't want to hear your bullshit excuses of how somehow it
was my fault or that you slipped because of some stupid lapse in judgment.
Just get the hell out and tell the doctor whom you've been fucking.  He'll
need to know."

   Suddenly I was so tired.  I just wanted to lay down and sleep.  I wanted
to be alone and sleep.  Janice stood there still crying, but seeing that I
was not going to talk anymore, she finally turned and left.  A bit later I
heard our car, my car actually, start and pull out of the driveway.

   I sat there, my life in shreds.  All in one morning in one, foul, dark
day.  I had gone from happily married man to that darkened and morose man
wronged.  My wife had cheated on me.  She had gotten a STD.  Fifteen
years...shot down the drain.  I needed that drink, and regardless of what
the doctor had told me, I made myself a double scotch.  It didn't last long
at all.  Neither did the next four.

   Later, sitting on our bed, I heard the kids come home.  Janice hadn't
shown back up.  They came in and seeing me in my suit sitting on the bed
half drunk, started to ask questions.

   "Daddy...why are you home so early?  Are you okay?  You've been
drinking!" Sarah was worried.

   "Dad...what's wrong?" James was shocked at seeing me as I was.

   I looked at my three kids, two girls and a boy.  Sarah, James, and
little Beth.  Sarah, almost fifteen now, was looking at me like she knew
something and was afraid to tell me.  James was truly confused as to why
dad was home and drunk.  Beth, at eight, was concerned that I might get
sick in front of them.

   "Don't puke dad.  I'll go get you a bowl or something.  Just don't puke
in front of me."

   "I won't Beth.  Look...kids...I came down with something that your
mother may have passed on to me.  She's at the doctor now getting checked
out.  She'll be home soon.  You just go do your homework and whatever. 
Things will be...it will all work out."

   James and Beth left the bedroom, relieved to be out of the way.  I must
have looked a sight to them.  They had never seen me drunk before, ever.  I
was ashamed of myself at that moment too.  I loved my kids with my whole
heart and I had tried to instill into them right from wrong, and that
honesty was paramount in life.  I noticed at that point that Sarah was
still with me.  She had sat down on the bed, a bit away from me, but still
she sat there.  I looked at her and it took me a moment to realize she was
crying.

   "Sarah, honey...what's wrong?  It won't be a big deal.  Just a little
bug I'm sure.  It will be all right."

   "No...dad...it won't.  I should have told you last month...I should have
told you."

   So softly she had spoken, it took me a bit to understand her words.

   "What should you have told me dear?"

   "About mom...and some...guy.  I saw them together.  I was supposed to
have been at school, but it was cancelled due to that power outage...I got
home at nine in the morning, not too long after Beth had left for her
school.  I came in quietly because I wanted to have a bit of time to myself
before mom made me do any housework.  I heard her in the guest bedroom
making some kind of noises...I peeked in...and she was there...he was...on
top of her...she was begging...oh God...I'm so sorry dad."

   She broke down and cried hard.  I pulled her into my arms and held her,
stroking her hair.  She had caught her own mother fucking some guy in the
guest bedroom.  For some strange reason I was a bit relieved.  Perhaps
because I had thought about the fact that she had been unfaithful and might
have fucked some guy in our marriage bed.  Now it seemed like she may not
have...at least it appeared that way at the moment.

   Sarah cried for quite some time then she got up at my urging and went to
the bathroom to freshen up.  I sat there wondering what was next?  What did
I do next?  I had only loved one woman in my life...Janice...and she had
betrayed me.  What did I do now?  Divorce?  Leave town?  Kick her out? 
What?

   I was empty and alone inside.  My best friend and trusted partner in
life had stabbed me in the back, leaving me vulnerable and hurting.  Sarah
put together a dinner for everyone.  I wasn't hungry, but I sat with them
as they ate.  James was full of questions, but Sarah gave him a look that
shut him up.  I wasn't ready for any questions at the moment.

   The kids all took off after eating, just as they heard my car pull up in
the driveway.  Sarah hung back...and as if reading my mind...reassured me
about them.

   "Dad...if it comes to a divorce between you and mom...we want to be with
you.  She's...changed...a lot."

   "Thank you honey.  I'm not sure what's going to happen now...but I'll
remember what you told me."

   Janice walked into a very quiet house.

   "Jim?  Are you here?  Jim?"

   "In the kitchen."

   She came in with a look of sadness and guilt that I had never seen on
her face before.  Sitting down across from me at the table I saw tears
running down her face.  She was playing with the car keys, fumbling them
around.

   "So...what did the doctor find out?"

   "I...I have...I got an STD.  I gave it to my one love in life...I...Oh
God...I...so...I'm so sorry Jim.  I never meant to hurt you...it just..."

   I didn't want to hear her lies, her excuses.  I just didn't want to see
or hear her at all right then.  I did want to beat her senseless or perhaps
even, in my state, something more harsh.  In an effort to prevent my doing
any of those things I had to get away from her.

   "Look, it's too late for you to find another place to stay tonight...you
can sleep in the guest bedroom.  Go get your things...all of your things
and put them in there.  I have to go into work tomorrow and make some
arrangements for vacation time.  We'll talk...some other time."

   I got up and left the room.  I went into my den, my sanctuary.  Sitting
there at my desk I broke down and cried...like a baby.  I heard Janice
moving things around and soon it grew quiet.  I got up and went into the
bedroom...seeing empty closet, empty shelves, and dresser drawers
open...empty as I felt.  Empty.  My life was empty.  Except for my kids...I
had nothing I valued anymore.

   Sleep was not possible, and in the morning when I got up I felt like
hell.  I showered and went in to work.  I was there before anyone else and
in the quiet of the morning, I made a decision.  One that would effect my
whole family for a long, long time.  Making a few phone calls I arranged
some things.

   Later, I was able to get three weeks vacation and left work.  At home,
Janice was sitting in the living room, alone.  I could see she had been
crying, red eyes and used tissues laying on the end table.  I stood there,
just inside the front door, looking at her.  All those years of our lives
together flashing in my mind.  I wondered what had happened to us?

   "Jim...I'm...What...Where do we go from here?  I know you must hate me.
I've not been a good wife lately.  I never let them take me in our bed...I
mean...we never..."

   "Them?  As in more than one Janice?  You really are a whore then.  You
couldn't just fuck around on me with one guy...you had to do a whole bunch?
God...I thought I knew and understood you all this time.  Did you ever love
me?  Ever?"

   "Oh...I've always loved you Jim.  The others...I can't explain why...I
just...I was lonely...I felt ugly...old.  John...he was the first...he made
me feel alive and beautiful.  He treated me like a queen.  Then...he...had
me where he wanted me...not that I complained...and the next thing I
knew...there were other men...and God help me...the more wilder it got, the
more I loved it.  Until now...knowing what I've done to you and the
kids...Oh...God..."

   Head in her hands, shoulders shaking hard as she cried.  I stood there,
still in the entryway...so many mixed emotions crashing inside me.  Hate,
anger, fear, and even love.  Yes...I still loved her, even though she had
broken my heart.  It all happened so fast, I had no choice but to love her
yet.  I was sure that was going to change though.  Very soon.

   "Look, what you did is about the worst thing you could have possibly
done.  Not just me, not just the kids...but to you too.  I don't understand
why, and frankly, I really don't want details either.  You cheated on me,
with more than one man.  You got a disease...a sexually transmitted
disease. Now you're sorry...but I can't help but think you're sorry that
you got caught or got a disease.  Not that you cheated on me.  Just that I
caught you."

   "That's not true.  I never meant to hurt you Jim.  I've always loved you
above everyone else.  Always."

   "So much so that you found other men to fill a void that I evidently
haven't been filling for you, huh Janice?"

   "Don't be cruel Jim.  I know I have really messed up things between us.
I know that you have every reason to hate me.  Is there...is there any hope
for us at all now?  I still love you so much.  I really do.  I can't live
without you Jim.  I can't."

   "Then you have a problem Janice.  You have put me in a position that I
never imagined I would be in.  I have always been faithful to you...even
while out on the road and faced with many temptations, I never...ever
strayed.  Then I find that my loving wife has strayed.  Not only with one
man, but many.  On top of that she gave me a sexually transmitted disease.
I loved you too...up until this moment.  I'm sure that love is dead though
Janice.  I don't think I can ever forgive you for this."

   "Oh Jim...please don't say that.  Please...we can work it out.  I'll
never cheat on you again.  I'll do anything to stay with you.  Anything at
all."

   "You already had a chance and you blew it.  How can I be sure that
you'll never cheat on me again?  I never would have thought you would have
to begin with Janice.  Yet you did.  I couldn't ever trust you, at least
for a long time.  What kind of life would that be for you or me?  I'd
always be checking up on you...making sure you weren't out and about with
some asshole.  I'd always have doubts about you and your faithfulness.  I
can't see us getting past that Janice.  I've thought about it last night
and today.  For now, you can stay here, in the guest bedroom.  But if I
were you I'd plan on finding another place to live shortly."

   "Nooooo...please...Jim...one more chance is all I'm asking for. 
Please?"

   She was sobbing hard now.  Her shoulders shaking as she begged me for
that one more chance.  I didn't feel anything for her though.  Nothing at
all.

   "I think not Janice.  I gave you fifteen years...the best fifteen years
of my life, and you threw them all away for some gratification that I guess
I couldn't give you somehow.  Some excitement that you couldn't get from
me. You blew it Janice, not me.  You did this to us."

   "Let me explain...if I told you how it all happened..."

   "I don't want to hear your story of how you cheated on me.  Somehow you
will try to twist it to being my fault and I will not accept that.  I was
here for you, loving you completely, never have I not been here for you.  I
was traveling a bit in my job, but I still would work things out to be with
you as much as I could.  You just couldn't live with that I guess.  Other
men were what you wanted...now you can have them.  I hope they give you
satisfaction Janice.  You'll never get it from me again."

   We lived together for the next two months.  During that time I found out
what had started this all, and that was that Janice had gotten bored with
our love life.  One day while I was on a trip she had gone out with one of
her single friends.  They had gotten picked up in a bar by a couple of guys
and before she knew it, she was waking up naked in bed with her guy.

   Janice blamed alcohol and me.  The alcohol for loosening her up and
causing her to not think straight.  Me for being gone too much.  Fact was I
was hardly out of town overnight.  Maybe once a month and usually only for
one night.  We had a blow out fight over her admission and things got
worse.

   One night she came home with a 'date' and took him into the guest
bedroom where she had been sleeping.  I came home to Sarah sitting on the
porch with her brother and sister in her arms.  They had been crying.

   "What's going on kids?"

   "Mom brought a date home dad...they're making so much noise we had to
come out here."

   I went inside and kicked in the door to the bedroom.  Startled, the guy
between her legs was confused for a moment.  Janice looked into my eyes and
then she started to cry.  The guy finally got up and began to bluster,
threatening me.  I grabbed him by the neck and kneed him in his groin.  He
bent over, in pain and I pulled him forward and shoved him onto the floor.

   "When you get up, get dressed and get the fuck out of my house.  If you
don't leave within two minutes of getting up, you will regret it.  Deeply."

   Janice started trying to talk to me.

   "Jim...it's not what you think.  I...I..."

   "What I think doesn't matter any more Janice.  You're out of here.  I
will not tolerate you bringing your men here to my home.  Our kids are out
on the porch for Christ's sake.  You were making too much noise for them.
You just cut it forever with me and I'll never forgive you for
this...you...you...whore.  We're finished for sure now."

   Our divorce was short and there was no fight from Janice.  I ended up
with the house and kids.  She got a bit of my retirement, not much, and
half the savings we had, and her car.  Other than that, it was pretty
straightforward.  My lawyer told me I could have done better, but we had
spent at least ten years together where she had been faithful to me, I
supposed, and I felt a need to do right by her for that.

   The kids...well they missed their mother, but they were angry with her
for cheating on me too.  Sarah had seen her, but later I found out that
James and Beth had also seen her with other men at different times too.  It
was hard on us for a while.  Janice was allowed to see them a couple days a
month, and a week in the summer.  They never wanted to go with her though.
Sarah would treat Janice like shit the whole time.

   I finally had to get all three of them into counseling and soon they
were better.  Not completely healed, but better able to cope.  We began to
build a new life as a single parent household.  Janice seemed to fade away
eventually, still seeing the kids, but never me.  I liked it like that,
since every time she would come into my thoughts I would feel the pain of
her betrayal all over again.

   Three years went by fairly quickly.  Sarah was now eighteen and quite a
beautiful young lady.  James had matured more and was growing up fast. 
Beth...well she was showing signs of being every bit as beautiful as her
older sister is.

   Sarah began to talk to me about seeing other women one-day.  I had not
dated at all since the divorce, partially being too busy with life, raising
three kids, work, and all.  She came up to me and started with a strange
question.

   "Dad?"

   "Yes Sarah?"

   "Do you ever think of...you know...sex?"

   "What makes you ask me that Sarah?"

   "Well, I do and I know I couldn't go as long as you have without it, had
I been married and all.  I was thinking that you, having had sex and stuff
before would really miss it.  I know I would.  You need to find someone. 
Us kids can't fill all those holes in your life.  You need a woman, dad."

   "Well, thank you for your concern Sarah, but I've been doing okay so
far. Someday maybe I'll start dating again.  Just not now.  Wait a
minute...have you been sexually active?"

   " Me?  No...not yet...I was just thinking...about you.  I know you have
been having...dreams.  I do the laundry from time to time you know.  I've
seen your sheets and..."

   "Okay young lady...that is quite enough.  My bodily functions are not
something a father should be talking about with his teenage daughter."

   "But dad...I know you must miss sex.  I'd offer to...I'd do anything you
wanted to help you.  I could do it for you..."

   "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.  We are never going there Sarah.  You are my
daughter and I love you, but not in that way.  I could no more...oh
God...just the thought of...No.  It's not right and you know it young
lady."

   I was shocked.  Was it so obvious to her that she felt she had to offer
herself to release my needs?  I felt guilty.  I had been so wrapped up in
living for them that I had hidden my needs down deep.  Obviously not quite
deep enough though.

   Sarah was unusually quiet that night after our discussion.  I found that
I couldn't talk to her without getting upset about her 'offer'.  I slept
poorly, waking every so often, fearing that she might try to do something
very stupid.  I decided that perhaps I had better find a dating partner
soon so that Sarah could relax a bit.  It worried me that she had been so
concerned about me that she would have tried to offer herself like she had.

   The next day I began to look around the women in our office building.  I
had no idea of how to go about dating again.  I hadn't even so much as
flirted in years.  Now, suddenly I knew I had to do something to fix that.
Sarah had been right.  I had been wanting someone to fill a gap in my life.
Not only the sex...but that friendship...love...sharing.  I missed that.

   Here I was, almost forty years old, and having to start dating again
after having been out of the loop for all those years.  Where to start? 
What to do?  I was lost.  Part of the reason I hadn't tried dating was the
overriding fear of rejection.  I may have been confident in my business
relations, but in my personal relations, Janice had taken the wind out of
my sails.  I felt inadequate and quite...shy.

   One day I overheard two women talking by a copier.

   "Oh you know, Dan is so sexy, but too young.  Ted...well he's a player.
One guy...Jim...he is so sexy, but damn...so cold too.  Like ice.  I'd love
to get to know him...but he doesn't have the time of day for any woman. 
His ex really fucked up a good man there."

   "I know what you mean.  I wished my husband was half the man Jim is. 
He's so built and strong looking.  Handsome too.  God, he makes me wish I
was single again."

   I was embarrassed, but kind of tingly proud too.  I had never thought I
was a 'catch' but evidently some women at least thought I was.  I slipped
out of the hallway and into my office, hoping that they never found out I
had overheard them talking.

   Getting home that night I sat in the den and just nursed a drink.  I
hadn't done that in a long time.  Sarah got home from a date later, and
came in to talk.

   "Dad, I have found the perfect woman for you.  She's smart, sexy
looking, beautiful, and...best of all...she's loaded.  Rich.  And looking
too."

   "Sarah, I can find my own...dates."

   "Yeah...right.  Look dad, I could arrange for you two to meet...have
dinner.  No strings...just a dinner and get to know you date. 
Please...tell me you'll think about it."

   "Well, beautiful woman or not...you should know that money isn't part of
what I am looking for Sarah."

   "I know that dad, but it wouldn't hurt to have a sexy beautiful woman
who also happened to be rich too."

   "You minx.  I'll tell you what, if I haven't fixed myself up with a date
in a month I'll let you set me up.  But only a get to know you date. 
Okay?"

   "A whole month?  Oh man.  How about a week?  You haven't been doing
anything anyway."

   "Sarah...one month or not at all.  Okay?"

   "Okay, but I'm marking it on the calendar and on the very day, I'm
setting you up.  Trust me dad...you'll love her.  I know I do."

   I was curious, but also apprehensive.  I was not sure I wanted my
daughter being a matchmaker for me at all.  I also wanted to see and know
whom she was talking about.  How had she met this woman to have any
feelings for her anyway?

   Later that very next week I tried to ask out one of the ladies I had
overheard at the copier.  The single one, in case you wondered.  I would
not be a part of breaking up anyone's marriage.  Not after what had
happened to mine especially.

   My attempt was...poorly worked out in my mind and I was shot down.  I
really never had a chance.  It must have seemed weird to her when I asked
her out too.  She gave me a look...and backed away.  I stepped back, and I
must have looked strange too.  It was a miserable failure on my part.  I
almost ran back to my office, hoping that she wouldn't go after me for
sexual harassment or something now.

   It had started out as a nice business discussion, that I ruined by just
blurting out my wanting to take her out to dinner.

   "So, the contract will need to be witnessed and notarized then Jim?"

   "Yes Amy.  Two copies of it also.  Then we'll FedEx one to the first
party and keep a copy for our own use.  Say...would you go out for dinner
with me tonight?"

   "Two copies...What did you say?  Did you say...dinner...tonight?"

   She had stood straight up and backed up a step, a look I couldn't figure
out showing in her face.

   "Uh...yeah...I mean if you are free...I'd like to..."

   "Um...that's pretty short notice Jim...I'm not sure that..."

   She was looking left and right, but not at me.  I could see that she was
distressed too.  What had I done?

   "Oh that's all right...I understand.  I have to run...see you later
then. Amy."

   I turned and fled like a chicken.  I could see the indecision in her
face when she realized I had asked her out.  I hadn't thought of the age
difference between us either.  Here I was, forty years old and she was
maybe thirty.  I could tell I had messed up.  The rest of the day was
awkward too.  I just got all tongue tied and finally avoided her all
together.

   That night I sat at home depressed and quiet.  Sarah and James tried to
cheer me up, but they had no idea what was making me so unhappy.  Beth came
in and sat beside me for a bit.  She had a way of talking to me that would
get me to loosen up.  For such a young lady she had the wisdom of the ages.

   Soon she drug out of me my failed attempt with Amy.  Laughing both Beth
and Sarah told me that I had probably misread the whole thing.

   "Dad, you can't just expect a girl to drop everything to go on a date
with you.  Especially when you've never shown any interest in her before.
Maybe she had some other plans and couldn't break them.  Maybe she had an
appointment with a hairdresser or something.  She wasn't turning you down,
she was just surprised."

   "For such a youthful young lady you seem to have lots of knowledge about
adult things Beth."

   "Come on dad, I'm a girl too.  I'm old enough to date and I read things
too.  It isn't rocket science."

   "Yeah?  Well maybe it is for me Beth.  I haven't dated anyone in
forever. The last time I dated someone, music and dress was way different."

   Sarah laughed and began to pester me.

   "Oh yeah dad...disco was the big thing back then wasn't it?  Disco and
platform shoes.  Do you still have your polyester leisure suit too?"

   "Sarah...you know better than that."

   "Hey dad...how did you walk in those high heeled shoes anyway?" James
was smiling and I could see thinking way too much too.  "Didn't you fall a
lot?"

   "James, you should stay out of this."

   Sarah was laughing at her witty remark.  They were all laughing at me.
They knew I had hated disco with a passion.  They also knew that I had
never worn anything but Levi's and boots in those days too.  I laughed with
them, but leaned in and tickled them.  It soon degraded into a pillow fight
with the couch pillows.  It was a fun night for us all.  The best part
being that they got my mind off of my horrendous failure that day.

   The next day at work was tough.  Amy seemed to avoid me and I felt like
I had ruined a good relationship with her.  We had always been business
like with each other and now I had intruded in her space.  I kept to myself
and did the paperwork that had been piling up on my desk.  That whole week
went by with me staying pretty much to my office.

   The next two weeks I had to travel, something I rarely did anymore.  As
I packed two nights before I left, the kids all came in to talk.  I always
liked to pack early when I was taking trips like this, to make sure I had
everything I'd need while away.  We talked about this and that, when
finally James spouted off...out of the blue.

   "Hey dad, while you're in Denver, you should find a hooker."

   His sisters gave him that rolled eyes look, then they began to argue.  I
stopped them and sat down.  I was a bit upset that I had to leave anyway,
even though I knew that Sarah and James were old enough and even adult
enough to manage just fine without me.  I trusted them and they hadn't let
me down.

   "I'd never go to a hooker James.  I may be a bit needy but I'm not the
type to pay for that kind of love.  Besides, having already had an STD once
in my life...I don't want to take any chances again."

   "Oh...I never thought about that.  I figured that you could get
some...um...relief and not have to work so hard at it."

   "Heh...well, thank you for the idea, but no thanks."

   "Dad, have you asked Amy out again?"

   "No Sarah I haven't.  I've kind of avoided her.  It's embarrassing for
both of us now.  I may have ruined a good business relationship by doing
what I did and I don't know how to fix it now either."

   "Don't worry about fixing it dad.  Just go on.  She is probably thinking
that you changed your mind and don't want her now.  It will drive her nuts.
Just be you.  It will all work out.  When you get back it will have been
one month."

   "I'm not going to be gone that long Sarah.  Only two weeks."

   "Yeah, but it will have been one month the day you get back...remember?
You promised...I get to set you up with her when you get back."

   I had forgotten about her wanting to set me up on a date with the 'rich
chick'.  I shook my head and then admitted...

   "Okay, I promised you that so I'll stand to my word.  Just don't expect
a lot okay?  It won't probably work out too well you know."

   "She'll love you dad.  You're everything the other men she's seen
aren't. She's been looking too.  I think you two will hit it off real
well."

   "Hmmm...I have to wonder why you're working so hard to hook me up with
this particular woman?  What is she to you honey?  Why are you pressing so
hard to get me together with her?"

   "Oh dad...I'm just worried about you.  I want you to be happy, and I
think she could be the one to do that for you.  I like her a lot."

   "So I've noticed.  What is so special about her that I should know
about?"

   "Well, she's intelligent.  She has her own business, and she's doing
quite well with it.  She is built like a...well she is very beautiful.  She
works out a lot too.  I know you'd like her dad...maybe even love her."

   "Sounds like your mind is made up anyway."

   "Sometimes a girl has to step up and take charge.  Ever since...ever
since mom left...you've been so sad.  I worried about you all the time.  I
was afraid...I was scared that...you'd..."

   "What?  Leave you kids?  Oh...you were afraid I would commit suicide
weren't you?  I should have seen that.  I forgot about Rebecca's dad."

   Rebecca was one of Sarah's best friends.  One day, Rebecca had come home
to an ambulance and cops.  Her father had killed himself over his cheating
wife.  Rebecca's mom had gotten caught with a guy in their marital bed by
Rebecca's dad, and things had gotten quite close to murder.  It had
happened over a year before my wife had given me her 'present'.

   Anyway, they had stayed married, but one could see they were not happy
at all.  Then one day I guess it had gotten to be too much.  He had called
in sick to work and after everyone else had left, took off all his clothes
got on his bed and swallowed a bunch of pills.  Then, to be sure he was
successful, put a plastic bag over his head and sealed it around his neck
with a large rubber band.

   It had worked quite well.  He left two kids and a wife.  The wife seemed
to not be upset over it either.  In the end, it was hardest on the kids. 
What a legacy to leave them.  They had moved away after the funeral and
Sarah lost touch with Rebecca shortly after that.

   "Dad, I love you and I want you to be happy.  I think a good woman would
help you to get back to being happy like you once were."

   "Okay Sarah.  Make your date with...what's her name anyway?"

   "Oh...uh...well...her name is...Sue.  Susan.  She's real nice.  About
five foot eight inches tall...and like I said, really well built.  She's
talked to me about you too.  I think she's interested in getting to know
you.  I think you'll like her dad.  I really do."

   "Susan huh?  Okay then...set up your date for me.  We'll find out if you
are a good judge of people or not."

   Sarah gave me a smile and hug as she ran out of the room.  I could hear
her on the phone a few minutes later; laughing and talking to who I guessed
was Susan.  After that, it got quiet in the house.  All the kids doing
their homework, and me just relaxing in the den.

   The next day at work Amy came into my office, closing the door.

   "Jim, we need to talk.  To clear the air.  We've been avoiding each
other ever since...well...ever since you asked me out the other day.  We
have to fix that soon.  It's beginning to hurt our business relationship."

   Ashamed, I knew she was right.  I had been avoiding her and that whole
thing.  Having to talk about a failed dating attempt was not something I
had the strength to do.  I had embarrassed myself and then let it become a
bigger problem instead of trying to 'fix' it with Amy.

   "Look, I know that I shocked you when I asked you out.  I never gave you
a chance.  You had no idea that I was at all interested in you.  Then I
acted like a big butt head and avoided you.  I was afraid of being accused
of workplace sexual harassment.  I'm sorry.  I should never have asked you
out, especially in the manner that I did.  The only thing I can say in my
defense is being single now, and not having dated in over fifteen years,
I'm real...uh...I guess what I'm trying to say is..."

   I was digging myself in deeper and deeper.  Amy was just sitting there
with a look I couldn't decipher at all, and that look was making me even
more nervous.  I was usually straightforward with everyone I worked or
talked with and now I felt like a little boy trying to squirm his way out
of trouble.

   "Jim...wait.  When you asked me out I was stunned.  You had never even
acted like you were at all interested in me that way.  Then you got all
flustered and left me standing there not knowing what I could have said or
done to get past that.  Ever since you've avoided me...of course, I have
avoided you too to be quite honest because I thought that you were playing
some kind of game.  You are a very handsome and attractive man.  I admire
you and the work you do.  I would be honored to go out with you on a date.
I wanted you to know that."

   "You...you would go out with me on a date?  Really?"

   Laughing in a throaty laugh that caused my spine to tingle she put her
hands over mine.

   "Oh yes you silly man.  I would."

   "But...that day I did ask you...you..."

   "I was shocked.  Like I said before, you had never shown any interest in
me at all.  It was out of the blue and mid sentence too.  Talking about a
contract then right into asking me out.  I should have rated a little
conversation and a lead in rather than a blunt question...don't you think?"

   "I'm sorry.  I never thought...I mean...I did think...I was
nervous...you're so beautiful and..."

   "Nervous?  You?  Go on...tell me more about the beautiful part.  I like
hearing a man call me beautiful."

   I was beginning to relax finally.  I felt the pressure falling off and
that cloud that had been hanging over my head was gone.  She would go out
with me after all.  I felt quite warm and tingly on that news.  Then I
remembered my daughter making that date for me with...what was her
name...Susan...oh damn.

   Denver ended up being a long trip.  The meetings were harried and the
client was trying to get me to offer things that just couldn't be done.  I
was sure that I had lost this contract by the last day.  Then, suddenly,
out of the blue, the client offered me the full contract and a bit more
besides.  I guess somehow they had been testing me...or perhaps the company
I worked for.  Either way, I scored large on this contract and I was
elated.

   Arriving home I tossed my bags on the couch as the kids swarmed me for
kisses and hugs.

   "Must have gone pretty good huh dad?  Did you get a hooker then?"

   "James, I thought I told you that I wouldn't do something like that
didn't I?"

   "Uh...well...I figured you were just covering your butt.  Sorry."

   "We need to have a talk someday I think.  You have gotten some strange
ideas on things lately."

   James ran out of the room, avoiding my setting a time for our 'talk'. 
He was a teenage boy with raging hormones and probably didn't want to have
to sit and listen to dad talk about embarrassing things.  I was a bit
relieved actually, as I really didn't want to have that talk with him
either.  The first sex talk we had years ago had been tough enough on both
of us.

   "Dad, you're all set up.  Day after tomorrow, at the Yacht club across
town."

   Confused, I just looked at Sarah, wondering what in the world she was
talking about.  Then it dawned on me.

   "My date?"

   "Doh...geez dad, are you losing your memory now too?"

   "Just caught me off guard Sarah, that's all."

   "Well, she wanted to meet you on the first date on her turf.  You'll
need to wear something nice...I'll help you pick something out."

   "Sarah, what if we don't hit it off like you think we will?  Are you
going to be okay with that?"

   "What?  Oh...yeah, but I'm pretty sure you will like her dad.  Honest. I
know I do.  She's great."

   "Okay, okay.  You don't have to hard sell me now.  I'm going on the
date. But I'm also going to try dating Amy from work too."

   Sarah's face fell a bit when I mentioned Amy.  Sarah had never met Amy
that I knew of and I wondered if Sarah would be able to get past things if
my date with Susan didn't pan out like she was hoping it would.

   The Yacht Club was a high brow restaurant and lounge.  It sat on the
dock near a real yacht club and the rich and famous were always there being
seen.  That Susan had picked this place had me worried.  I was glad that I
had just gotten paid the day before, and made a bonus.  It looked like this
was going to be a four hundred-dollar meal.

   Arriving at the door a bit early, the Maitre d seated me as 'the guest
of Miss Susan Smithers.' I hadn't made the reservations, and he seemed
quite happy to put me at the table where I would meet her for the first
time.  The look he gave me while seating me was one of a skeptical type as
if I didn't quite measure up.  I was immediately uncomfortable.

   Dressed in my best suit, I was quite over classed by almost every other
man in the place, waiters included.  I knew that this was going to be a
date from hell now.  I could feel it.  I sat there, hoping that maybe Susan
would have changed her mind, or maybe even forgotten about our date.  My
hopes on that being the case rose as the time I waited went on.  I sat
there for about twenty minutes.

   Then, a stir in the crowd sitting in the restaurant, and in walked this
woman.  I was flat stunned.  A gorgeous blonde in a beautiful and quite
sexy dress was sweeping along in front of the Maitre d.  and every male eye
in the place was on this woman.  I could only wonder who the lucky stiff
was that she came to eat with.  Goddess.  Beauty.

   I hoped that I wasn't drooling nor that I had my mouth open as she
slipped into the seat being held by the Maitre d.  At my table...she was
sitting with me.  I was shocked.  This beautiful creature was my date?

   Holding her hand out quite daintily, I took it as she introduced herself
formally.

   "You must be Jim.  I'm Susan.  Sarah has told me so much about you.  You
are indeed quite handsome and just as Sarah described you too.  I hope I
was not too late."

   "Uh...no.  Actually, I got here a bit too early.  I hope that...You
look...You are...Sarah said that..."

   I was losing it.  I was lost and tongue tied to the max.  I didn't know
what to say how to say it, nothing.  So much for suave and debonair. 
Drowning, I looked to the Maitre d for some kind of...any kind of help.  He
looked at me and had a slight twinkle in his eyes.

   "Would the Gentleman like to order the drinks now?"

   I looked at Susan, glanced really, as I could feel my tongue getting
tied up again.  She was smiling and just sitting there like a cat with a
mouse.  A look that upset me further.

   "Um...yes.  Wine?  I think a glass of wine for the lady and myself would
be just right.  Susan?"

   "Oh yes...I'll have...well Peter...why don't you surprise me.  You
always do it so well."

   "Yes Ma'am.  I will get you the specialty of the house tonight.  I think
you will love it.  Sir?"

   "I'll have...the...specialty of the house as well please...Peter?"

   "Yes sir.  My pleasure."

   I was looking everywhere but at Susan now.  She sat there as if waiting
for me to say something.  The problem was I just didn't know what to say or
do, my mind was blank.

   She was looking at me, then suddenly, as if she had made a
decision...allowed me an out.

   "You know, after our wine comes, perhaps we could go somewhere else.  I
think we would both be far more comfortable out of this formal dress and in
some casual things.  Don't you?"

   "Uh...well, I'm not sure where we could go.  I...I...God, you are so
beautiful.  Really, you are."

   I couldn't help myself.  She was beautiful almost too beautiful.  And
rich, that was obvious.  She had about a billion dollars in diamonds on her
fingers and wrist.  Way out of my class of woman for sure.  I felt like a
poor pauper being given a treat by visiting royalty.

   "Oh...any man that thinks I'm beautiful I love listening to.  Keep
on...I want to hear more of your thoughts."

   Laughing in a soft and sensual way as she looked at me, I just melted.
She was being so nice to me.  I was acting like a fool.  A big dumb country
bumpkin.  I know I was blushing profusely too.

   "Well, you are very beautiful.  I imagine that every man in here tonight
thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the place.  I'm making a fool of
myself here.  I'm sorry.  I haven't been on a date for..."

   "Over fifteen years.  Sarah told me.  She was right on the money about
how you would act tonight so far too.  I'm sorry.  I have kind of set you
up just a tad here.  I wanted to meet you in a place I was familiar with,
and Peter, the Maitre d is a good friend.  He was checking you out when you
got here, and as you waited.  I apologize for the wait, and for
the...um...checking out.  Sarah has been pressing me to go out with you for
quite some time, and I do love your daughter.  She has quite a head on her
shoulders."

   "Quite some time?  Just how long has she been trying to get us
together?"

   "Well, since about a year and a half ago.  At first I was a bit
suspicious.  A woman in my place has to be...cautious.  Some have tried to
take advantage of me before.  But the more I got to know your daughter,
well...I hope that she will come to work for me when she gets out of
college.  She has a great head on her shoulders.  I hope that she got it
from you too.  I mean...not to insinuate..."

   "Oh...my wife?  I'm over that.  Have been for a long time.  Just never
had the time or actually, the nerve to start dating again. 
Dating...is...intimidating to me."

   "I know what you mean.  It is hard meeting a man for the first time, no
matter what someone may have said about them.  I feel quite guilty too. 
After all, I put you on the deck as a guarded inspection before showing up.
Not a good thing for a date to do is it?"

   "Well...to be quite honest, I usually don't eat in places like this. 
Not to say it isn't nice, because it is, but I usually just go for the mom
and pop type of places.  I do feel a bit...uncomfortable.  But, this is
where the date was made for...so we should probably finish it here."

   "Tell you what.  Lets drink our wine then take a little walk on the
dock. Maybe something will come along to change our minds."

   She was trying to ease my nervousness, and doing a good job of it too. I
had worked myself up into a tizzy inside and had a hell of a time calming
down.  Sarah could have given me a bit of a warning.  Then, maybe she had
and I was the one that didn't know.  Susan was being nice at least; not
anything like I had imagined a self-made woman would be like.

   Our date turned out to be fun.  Susan was very intelligent and we talked
about a variety of subjects.  She told me that she had met Sarah at a
school function.  Susan had been a speaker for a group of Sarah's
classmates, talking about business and what kinds of education businesses
were looking for.  Sarah had asked Susan lots of questions and then after
the speech, made arrangements to meet her.  They had stayed in contact ever
since, building a fairly close relationship with each other.

   Susan was a very good person and someone I could envision being with.  I
went home with high hopes and my head in the clouds.  She was beautiful,
and she was interested in me.  I walked into the house and Sarah was the
only one waiting up.

   "So dad, how'd it go?  Isn't she beautiful like I said?  And nice too?"

   "Yes.  She is quite beautiful and very nice Sarah.  You were right about
her too.  She is someone I'd like to get to know quite a bit more."

   Sarah pumped her fist in the air vigorously.

   "YESSS!"

   "Sarah!  It's not like it's a contest or anything.  I hardly think you
should be acting so...well, like you won a competition."

   "But I was right dad.  You two did hit it off.  You like her.  That, to
me, is winning a big one.  It's a real big deal for me.  So..."YESSSS! 
WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO!"

   Her fist pumping up and down was quite comical to watch, so I let her
have her fun.  I was mildly embarrassed to know that I was the
reason...rather, my date was the reason for her celebrating though.

   "Did you kiss her?  Did she kiss you?"

   "Uh...no.  We didn't kiss, it was a first date after all you know."

   "Oh.  No kissing at all?  Damn."

   "You sound disappointed Sarah.  It was just our first date.  Sometimes
people don't kiss on first dates you know."

   "I had hoped that..."

   "That we'd be all over each other?  Lets just say that I really would
love to take her out again...matter of fact I made a date with her for next
Sunday.  A picnic.  I also told her I was dating Amy...or rather I was
planning of taking Amy out at least once too.  She seemed okay with that.
She told me she appreciated my honesty at least."

   "Oh damn dad.  You shouldn't have told her that.  Besides, if you are as
enamoured with Susan as you say, why not just cancel your date with Amy and
plan on pursuing Susan anyway?"

   "I'm in no real hurry to pursue anyone Sarah.  This dating thing could
take a long time, and I may go through a lot of women in the process.  I
want to be certain as I can be that the next person I ask to marry me,
should it come to that, is someone I can..."

   I lost my train of thought as I reminded myself of my ex.  I could feel
that pain, softer now, but still there none the less.

   "Trust dad?  Someone you can trust unlike mom?"

   "Yes."

   I had gotten quiet.  I spoke yes so quietly I hardly heard it.  Sarah
stepped up into my arms and hugged me tightly.  I could feel hot tears on
my cheeks.  You'd have thought after several years I'd have gotten over my
cheating ex-wife.  Evidently I still had some issues.

   When we broke apart I saw that Sarah had been crying too.  That made me
feel a little better inside, knowing my pain wasn't starkly alone.  I hated
that I had this pain inside to begin with and I hated that my children
should suffer this pain with me too.  At the same time, it was good for me
to know that my children loved me in spite of all that had happened.

   "I'm sorry dad.  I guess I forgot how much mom's cheating had hurt you.
I thought you were all over it now.  I guess...not."

   "Don't be sorry Sarah.  You have gone a long way to helping me get over
it all.  You and your brother and sister too.  It is time for me to get on
with my life.  Obviously your mother did a lone time ago."

   Over the next few months I dated either Susan or Amy constantly.  With
Amy the relationship had gone full bore, something I hadn't counted on. 
Susan and I however were growing together slowly.  She was setting the pace
at what she thought best for her, and I was very willing to allow that.

   One night, about my fourth date with Amy, we were kissing goodnight at
the door of her place.  Getting hotter as we went, she soon invited me
inside.  We had done this the other times too so I wasn't expecting more
than a hot make-out session and then going home and 'taking things in
hand'. Something I had gotten used to.

   I was horny as hell, but I also wasn't sure I was ready to go there with
another woman yet.  On our last date, Amy had fondled me a bit while I was
into the moment of kissing, and before I could react she stopped.  I think
she was afraid of going there too, or so I thought at the time.

   Anyway, we went inside and kissed some more.  Amy said she wanted to get
a bit more comfortable, so she headed off to her bedroom.  I sat on the
couch in her living room and waited patiently for her to come back and
continue our make-out session.

   Part of the reason I loved to make out with Amy was it took me back to
my college days I suppose, making me feel far younger than how old I
actually was.  The other part was she was a great kisser too.  Soft lips,
and perfect hot little tongue.  I loved it when she would lick my earlobe
once in a while, as we got hot and heavy.

   When Amy walked out of her bedroom, my back was to her.  I didn't see
her until she stepped around the couch and slipped onto my lap.  I was
stunned to say the least.  She had taken off all her clothes.  She kissed
me, putting her arms around my neck and holding me tight.

   I had my hands along my legs, all ready to hug her back until she had
showed up naked.  I was a bit unsure where to place my hands now, even
though I had a real good idea where we were headed tonight.  My cock sprang
to life, cramped in my jeans as it was, and it was almost painful.

   Carefully, a bit fearful that Amy would change her mind and not want me
touching her, I put my arms around her naked body.  Her skin was hot to my
touch.  Hot and soft, and so sensuous.  She was really going to town on me
now too.  I could feel her grinding her bottom on my lap, evidently trying
to make me harder than I already was.

   I loved it.  I wanted her so bad and she was offering herself to me
freely.  Her breasts were full and firm, hard little nipples about the size
of dimes.  Her aureole were rather large, about the size of a silver
dollar, and inviting targets for my lips to suck in.  Unable to help
myself, I was soon nursing on her breasts.

   My hands had begun to wander all over her body, feeling, touching and
exploring every nook and cranny.  When I felt the heat her little pussy was
giving off I almost lost it.  Slipping a finger down there, her wetness was
like a lubricant and soon I had it buried inside her extremely hot, wet
pussy.

   As I fingered her pussy and sucked on her breasts, she just moaned and
held my head in her hands.  Not really guiding me so much as just feeling
my head right there, on her nipples.  I moved up a bit and kissing her neck
on my way back up to her lips.  She gripped my head quite tightly and
crushed her lips against mine.

   Wiggling around on my lap as she was I could hardly keep my balance and
suddenly we both fell onto our sides.  This opened my lap up and soon she
was undoing the buttons on my shirt, almost franticly trying to get it off.
My pants soon followed my shirt, somewhere behind the couch on the floor.
Her hands were inside my underwear, cupping my balls and stroking my shaft.

   In no time at all I was very close to shooting off my first time with
another woman.  I felt like a teen-ager again simply because it took no
time at all to get me there.  A minute maybe and that was stretching it a
bit too.

   "Easy there Amy.  I'm about ready to..."

   She looked at me and I swear she licked her lips...twice.  Smiling at
me, she began to work her way down my body, kissing me as she went.  Soon,
very soon, her lips surrounded my cock, tightly holding it as she started
to give me a blowjob like I had never had before.  I ran my hands over her
head, grasping some of her long hair up and holding on.

   Her tongue cradled the head of my cock as she got ready to lick it up
and down like a lollipop.  Holding my cock in one hand, her other hand was
playing with my balls.  Once, as she licked down my shaft, she licked my
balls for a bit, causing me to moan loudly.  I have always loved having
someone lick them like she was, but it had been a very rare thing with my
ex.  Amy on the other hand appeared to relish licking them.

   Every time I opened my eyes I saw her eyes on me.  She loved it when I
would look into her eyes since she would get more aggressive with whatever
she was doing at that moment.  When she got into sucking my cock into her
mouth, I couldn't believe that she was taking the whole thing.  Her lips
would crush against the base of my cock hard and I could feel her tongue
whipping around my shaft too.

   Too soon I realized I was about to cum.

   "Amy...I'm...about there.  I mean it.  I'm so close.  You'd better back
off or you'll get a mouthful."

   "Mmmmmmm.  Doom ut.  Smmoooot."

   Her moaning and humming around my cock trying to tell me to do it, and
shoot into her mouth was too much for me to take.  The vibrations and her
hot lips so tight around my shaft took me over the edge.  I erupted,
cumming like I had never cum before.  The explosion of it all was almost
too much for me to take too.  It was the most intense orgasm I had ever had
in my life.

   I came hard and long.  Amy stuck with it, swallowing everything I shot
into her mouth.  I had half expected her to pull off choking and coughing
but she never missed a beat.  That made my orgasm even stronger and longer
too I think.  I was overwhelmed.

   After I was all done and my balls were emptied, she still kept on
sucking my shaft.  Amazingly I never went soft.  Of course, so far this had
been the most sensual and sexual time I had ever had with a woman whom I
wasn't married to.  My ex-wife had never done this for me ever, in all the
years we were together.

   I was certain I was ready to move on shortly, and when I was I turned us
over on that couch and got Amy into a semi-seated position.  Her back was
nestled into the corner, propped up by the back and arm of the couch.  I
spread her legs wide, one of them she herself put over the arm of the
couch, and the other was along the back.  I stared at her wet and well
trimmed pussy, just overcome by how much I loved how it looked.

   "Come on Jim...do me.  Please baby.  Please."

   I moved in and began to lick around her thighs and belly.  Kissing and
licking my way to her center.  She was moaning loudly the closer I got and
soon her hands were trying to press me into her pussy.  I maintained
control of my head movement though, and teased her a bit more.  She was
about screaming when my tongue first made contact with her clit.

   Her juices flooded my mouth, and I sucked them right up, loving the
salty-sweet taste of them.  I licked up and down her pussy, her lips
pulsing in need as I worked her up hotter and hotter.  Slipping a finger
into her hot and wet hole I worked it like a little cock.  My lips sucked
her clit up and I gently tugged on it.

   My other hand was on her breasts, pinching and pulling her nipples.  Her
cries were getting louder and louder the closer she came to an orgasm.  I
felt one of her legs wrap around my back, and pretty soon the other was
too. She was humping up into my mouth as I slipped in another finger
alongside the one I already had inside her.

   "Oh...God...Oh...Oh...OH...OH GOD.  Don't stop...please don't stop.  OH
GOD."

   I felt her body shudder then she started to writhe around.  I clamped my
lips tightly around her clit and sucked harder, adding a third finger
inside her.  She was hugging me so tightly I don't think I could have
gotten away even if I had wanted to.

   "OOHH, OOHH...GOD...OHHHHH...I'm...I'm Cumminggggg"

   I realized that I had slipped yet another finger into her pussy, and all
four of them were fully inside her as she jumped around, grinding her pussy
into my face.  I could hardly breathe, yet I tried my best to keep the
contact I had with her there.

   Suddenly a flood of juices shot out of her pussy, and I moved my head
just a bit down to suck them up.  She was cumming hard, and incoherently
trying to tell me something I couldn't understand.  I kept my mouth and
tongue busy, my fingers still buried inside her too.  I swallowed a lot of
her juices, and found them to be very good.

   As she calmed down she hugged me closer, pulling me up next to her.

   "Oh...wow.  That was wonderful.  You're a great pussy eater Jim.  I've
never had a man do that like you did.  You are marvelous.  Thank you."

   "Well, you really outdid yourself for me too Amy.  I've never had
my...I've never been...sucked...like that, nor as good as that ever before
either.  Thank you too."

   "Really?  Never before?"

   "Nope, never.  Matter of fact, you're the first woman to have ever
swallowed me like you did.  It was wonderful.  I really mean...wonderful.
Thank you."

   She smiled at me as her hands began to stroke my shaft again.  I was
still hard, and now throbbing.

   "Mmmm...looks like someone needs some...relief.  I do too, so would you
do the honors?"

   Spreading her legs wide again, I once more got a long good look at her
beautiful pussy.  I was soon in between her legs, the head of my cock
slipping up and down her slit, wetting itself, searching for a hole.  She
moaned a bit, then guided me into her.  As my cock invaded her pussy, I
realized that it had been a couple of years since I had last been inside a
woman like this.

   I went in slowly, wanting her to have time to get used to my shaft as it
split her open.  I had never really thought about it, but I was fairly well
endowed.  Amy seemed to be taking it all right, but she was gripping my
arms tightly as I pressed inside her.  She was so tight at first I thought
I may have gotten into the wrong hole...and I actually caught myself
looking down to check and see.

   I soon bottomed out in her pussy, and just laid there, enjoying the
feelings of heat, wetness, and the smooth velvet glove that was holding me
to tightly.

   "God, you're tight Amy.  Very tight."

   "Heh...well, you're not exactly small down there you know.  Matter of
fact, you're the biggest I've ever had.  No doubt about that."

   "Oh really?  The biggest?"

   "Oh baby...yes.  Now...fuck me with that huge tool."

   I started in and out movements slowly at first.  It seemed that Amy
started cumming as soon as I took one full thrust in and out of her, and
then she seemed to keep on cumming for a long time in a series of mini
orgasms.  She was holding onto me, but her cries and moans were out of this
world.

   Each time she came her pussy would tighten up for a minute until my cock
spread it open again.  It was almost painful for me to be fucking her.  At
least I wasn't quite hitting up against her cervix, which would have been
painful for her for sure.  I started to go faster and harder, each thrust
in I'd grind against her clit and she'd cry out as an orgasm washed over
her.

   After she had cum about eight or so times, I was tiring.  Amy opened her
eyes and asked me if I wanted to change positions.

   "Want to try something else Jim?"

   "I'm game.  What?"

   "How about me on top?"

   I hugged her to me and went to roll us over, forgetting that we were on
a narrow couch.  As we fell off onto the floor, I had a moment of panic,
but it all ended up okay.  Amy was on top, and I was still inside her.  It
appeared that neither of us had gotten hurt, so I just hugged her tightly
to me, and we kissed.

   As she pulled away she was smiling.  Her pussy began to milk my cock,
and her body was in motion, taking me in and out, fully on each stroke.  I
watched her breasts bouncing around as she got more energetic, and finally
I put my hands on them, squeezing them gently.  Amy came several more
times, crying out in little mewling sounds each time.  I felt the stirrings
of my orgasm approaching, and Amy sensed it too.

   Slowing down her pace she began to move in a graceful and smooth way
that seemed to take my cock and stretch it out even longer than it already
was.  The velvet smoothness of her pussy as it gripped my shaft soon had my
cum bubbling up and spewing into her.

   "Oh shit...Oh...Oh...shit."

   "What?"

   "I'm not wearing a condom.  I just shot off inside you and..."

   "Do you have a disease Jim?"

   "Uh...no.  but the responsible thing to do was..."

   "The responsible thing for you to do was to fuck the person that you had
all worked up.  I'm clean so are you.  I am also on the pill Jim, so
there's no pregnancy thing to worry about.  If I had thought that you could
have a disease, I'd never have let you go as far as this went."

   "How did you know I was clean Amy?  I hadn't been tested in over a year,
and you wouldn't have access to those test results anyway."

   "Jim...don't you remember when the doctor's office called work and told
you that you were clean?  I do...only because you accidentally hit the
conference button on the phone and that much got out before you managed to
get it off again.  That was last year, and I happen to know that you've
only been with me since then.  Well, there is that other woman...but I know
you haven't been in a sexual relationship with her."

   "How do you know that Amy?"

   "Sarah told me."

   "Sarah?"

   "Yeah, she mentioned that she wished that you and...Susan is it? 
Anyway, she told me she wished you and Susan would go to the next step in
your relationship.  I asked her what she meant by that and she then told me
that you two hadn't gotten sexual at all yet.  That's when I knew I had to
work hard to get into your pants before she did."

   "But...I don't understand..."

   "I have wanted to fuck you forever Jim.  I finally had you where we
could fuck and then everything started to get messed up.  Of course I
pushed hard...I had to.  I wanted to fuck you at least one time...just
once. Even if we don't work out for long term...I had to have you one time
at least.  I'm hoping now that you may want some more...special time...with
me now too.  I mean...I'd love to be able to fuck you again.  Lots."

   "Okay, but what if we don't work out Amy?"

   "Oh Jim...Honey, I never wanted to have a 'get down and get married'
relationship with you.  I just wanted to have a good sexual thing for a
while.  Something to tide me over until I meet Mr.  Right."

   "I take it that I'm not Mr.  Right then?'

   "Honey, you are the best man I've ever fucked.  You eat a wicked pussy,
and you have a perfect cock.  You even know how to please a woman in other
ways.  You're a great kisser too.  But you and me as husband and wife?  I
don't think its in the cards Jim.  You didn't...I mean...you weren't
thinking on getting married or something were you?"

   "What?  Oh...no...I didn't want to get married right away either.  I
have figured that I would have time to take my time this time and find the
one right person maybe.  I had hoped it was you Amy, but I can see now that
we have a physical attraction for certain, but evidently not a love one."

   "So, will you still ask me out and fuck me once in a while then Jim?  I
mean...I haven't hurt you have I?"

   "Oh no...I mean, yes...I mean...I'd like to keep a sexual thing going on
at least for a while.  No you haven't hurt my feelings."

   "Okay then.  So...you feel like a second round there...fucker?"

   "You bet...fuckee."

   The next morning I sat in the kitchen at home thinking about Amy and
Susan.  I had two beautiful women I was dating.  One I was trying to win
over the old fashioned way and the other was just wanting a fuck-buddy.  I
was almost confused, yet not unhappy.  The way things had turned out so
far, Amy wanting to be a fuck-buddy had helped me in a strange way.  Now, I
wouldn't feel wound up when I took Susan out on a date, needing our dates
to go somewhere that she wasn't prepared to go yet.

   I wouldn't for all practical purposes, get blue balls now.  Amy had told
me she would be more than happy to fuck my eyeballs out every night if I
wanted, and no we wouldn't have a love thing going on either.  Just lots
and lots of fucking.  She truly just wanted to be fuck-buddies.  I found I
was okay with that too.

   Then Susan and I had a change in our relationship that I hadn't
foreseen. It was sudden in that it happened on our very next date.  Susan
evidently decided to push ourselves to the next step in dating, and it
caught me off guard.  It also changed things between us and the
'fuck-buddy' thing between Amy and I too.

   We went out for dinner and afterwards I took Sue home.  Invited in for a
cup of coffee, I sat in the living room while she went to make it.  I was
listening to some music and not paying a whole lot of attention when Sue
came back out.  Over my shoulder I heard her.

   "Here you go sweetie.  Coffee and sugar."

   "I don't use sugar Susan...I..."

   I had turned as she said the 'coffee and sugar' part and found my voice
lost in the mists of time.  I never anticipated what I saw.  She had made
coffee alright, she had also taken off all her clothes.  Her body was even
hotter than I had imagined and I was speechless.

   "What's the matter dear?  Never seen a naked woman before?"

   "I...uh...that is to say I...uh...wow...you're beautiful.  More
beautiful than I ever thought.  My God...you're...perfect."

   "Perfect?  I hardly think so.  I have too big of hips and my breasts sag
a bit."

   "No, they don't and your hips are perfect.  I...don't know what to say."

   "How about something along the lines of...'I'll get my clothes off
straight away?"

   I was stunned.  Susan's body was dream fodder, and I couldn't get over
how beautiful she truly was.  I was also a bit disconcerted at the
situation I found myself in now too.  I mean, after all, she was naked and
I was fully dressed, and we hadn't ever as much as petted yet.  We had only
kissed after dates...and I hadn't tried to cop a feel or anything.

   "My clothes?  You want me to take my clothes off too?"

   "Well, yeah.  Isn't that how two people go to the next step in a
relationship now-days?  Get naked and get busy...right?"

   She had sat beside me now, and her breasts were proudly sticking out
there, begging for lips and tongue.  I licked my lips nervously, and I
could feel a cold sweat starting.  She was sitting there calmly, and very
much aware of what she was doing to me too.

   Confused and upset, I realized that Susan had taken a huge risk on our
relationship.  Mostly because of the shift in gears having been so sudden
and all, I was trying to figure out where we were headed now.  We had gone
from chaste kisses to this, in a nano-second.  It was a rather large leap.

   "You want to move to the next level then I take it?"

   I know...brilliant question.  I was trying to buy time while I figured
out what to do.

   "I'm naked silly.  I didn't get undressed to just tease you.  I've been
hinting at wanting you for the last two dates...yet you have been the
perfect gentleman.  Now, I'm ready for certain...that is, if you want
to..."

   "Oh yes...I do.  I mean, I really do.  I've wanted to for quite some
time.  I just thought...I was figuring that...wow...my head is swimming. 
Fast...it's all happening so fast."

   Her arms went around me, and she hugged me to her warm soft body.  Then
keeping one arm around me she began to undo the buttons on my
shirt...peeling it off my shoulders.  Moving up and away for a moment, she
then started working on my pants.  Soon I was as naked as she was.  With a
raging hard-on.

   "Oh my.  You're a bit bigger than I had thought.  That's a good thing
though, a very good thing.  Mmmm...looks...tasty too."

   Taking my hand Sue led me into her bedroom, and into her master
bathroom. Turning on the shower she guided me inside, and stepped in with
me.

   "First, lets get all squeaky clean...and then...well...we can explore
that afterwards."

   She took a washrag and began to soap and rub my body.  I let her move me
around however she wanted.  Pretty soon she was washing my cock.  As hard
as it was I had a time not shooting off while she rubbed it.  The soap
combined with the semi-roughness of the washrag almost did me in several
times.

   It was my turn next.  As I soaped up her breasts and washed them she
began to moan softly.  Her nipples were sticking out about an inch and I
couldn't resist sucking on them as I washed her tummy and back.  Pulling
her to me, I had my hands on her ass and my mouth on her breasts.  The
water from the shower was pouring over us, and causing me to have to move
us around a bit time to time in order to breathe.

   My fingers slipped inside her hot and wet pussy, and I could tell it was
her natural lubrication that was making her wet there.  Her arms went
around me and she moved one leg up behind me.  Curling it around my back
and hips.  She was actively trying to get my cock into her pussy.

   "Ummmm...baby...you're so hard...so long...so...ohhhhh...you're making
me hotter and hotter here.  Come on...stick it inside me.  Let me feel you.
All of you."

   "Here?  Now?"

   "Yes...Here and now.  Come on no more teasing, just fuck me.  Take me. I
need you."

   I moved enough to get in a good position, and then without further ado,
I slipped my cock into her.  At least I tried.  She was so tight I was
having a hard time getting inside.  Her pussy lips refused to allow me
entrance.

   Mewling, Sue began to beg me.

   "Please baby...fuck me...please...stick it in...please...I want it...I
want you.  Stick your cock inside me."

   I had put two fingers inside her and was working them around, trying to
open her up a bit.  I moved the head of my cock right up to where my
fingers were and slowly began to push forward again.  Slipping my fingers
sideways, I spread them, opening her up a bit.  The head of my cock gained
entrance to her very tight pussy at last.  I held still after getting about
an inch and a half inside her, waiting for her to relax.

   Once Sue was comfortable with me that far, I pushed in some more.  In
several short steps I was fully inside her.  The velvety tight glove that
gripped my cock about made me cum at that moment.  I held off, barely.

   Hooking my arms around her legs I picked her up and rested her body on
my shaft.  Her arms were around my neck, holding me as I began to push in
and out of her still tight pussy.

   "Ohh...ummmm...yesss.  God Yesssss....fuck me.  Oh...you're so big and
hard...and hot.  Ummmmm...I love this.  Fuck me.  Harder.  Yes...harder."

   She was bouncing on my shaft now, moving on her own.  I just made sure I
kept my balance as Sue began to work herself up and down my shaft.  Faster
and faster she went, and each time she bottomed out I was on the edge of
shooting off.  How I managed to keep from doing that so early on was beyond
me.

   "God you're tight Susan.  You're about to make me cum too.  I can't hold
back much longer."

   Sue came twice as she rode my cock in the shower.  On her last orgasm I
finally let loose inside her too.  Feeling my hot cum shooting inside her,
flooding her pussy caused her to orgasm one more time.  Hugging tightly to
my body she almost passed out.  I had my hands on her ass, holding on for
dear life...and my legs were shaking from the exertion of our energetic
coupling.

   After drying off a bit, Susan took my cock in her hand and led me to her
bed.  Pushing me into a sitting position on it, she knelt in front of me.
Licking her lips she smiled up at me.

   "I'm going to get you ready for some more...I love your cock by the way.
It's perfect."

   'Thank you.  I'm not sure how much luck you'll have.  I'll need time to
recharge I think."

   "Not when I'm done you won't."

   "One thing...not to be a smart ass or anything...but shouldn't we be
using condoms?"

   "I can't get pregnant sweetie.  I thought we had talked about
that...maybe not...anyway, I can't get pregnant so there is no real need
for condoms.  They don't taste all that great anyway...and besides, I love
the feeling of your hot hard cock deep inside me without that latex
separating us as it does."

   "Aren't you worried about STD's and all though?"

   "Not from you.  Are you worried about me giving you something nasty like
that?"

   "No...it's just..."

   Her lips surrounded my shaft and it was obvious that Susan was done
talking and wanting to be doing.  I sat there, my hands in her hair,
feeling her lips around my shaft, her tongue caressing it too.  Whatever
else she may have done or been...Susan knew one thing very well...she knew
all the sensitive spots on my cock.

   It only took her a few minutes and she had me hard as steel again.  Once
there, she pushed me onto my back and mounted me.  Her pussy was still
tighter than hell, and it took her a bit to work down onto me again.  Once
she was there though...well, she really went to town.

   Sue seemed to be multi-orgasmic.  She came several times as she rode me,
and then later as I pounded her doggie style, she came a few more times
too. After she had settled down from her last huge orgasm, she moved around
on top of me, straddling my head and taking my cock into her mouth in a
classic sixty-nine position.

   I reached up and licked her pussy, noting that her lips there were red
and swollen.  As my lips sucked in her clit she moaned around my shaft and
that caused me to shoot off.  Sue swallowed my cum and licked me clean
afterwards.  I ate her to a nice orgasm and then we crashed in each other's
arms.

   Later, when we got up, Susan was quiet.  Looking at her as she got
dressed, I could only marvel at the fact that her and I had just done the
nasty.  I mean, she was so beautiful, and I was still trying to get my head
around at how swiftly all this had transpired.  We had gone from proper to
all the way in such a short time.

   We chatted for a bit, kissing once in a while.  Holding hands with her
now seemed...different for some reason.  It was different in a more close
and together kind of way.  I didn't want to let go, and neither did she for
that matter.  As I left that night her parting kiss burned in my mind and
on my lips the whole ride home.  Once home I called to let her know I had
made it safe and sound...something I realized, I hadn't ever done with my
ex or with Amy.

   I sat on the couch at home, remembering the whole evening.  Sarah came
in and sat next to me, hugging me close.

   "How was your date dad?"

   "It was...quite good."

   "Yeah, I can see."

   I looked at Sarah, wondering what she saw...and noticed at that point
that she was looking at my neck.  I got up and went into the bathroom, and
once there I looked in the mirror.  Red lipstick lip prints all over my
neck...and a hickey too.  I didn't remember that at all.  Susan had left
her mark on me for sure.

   I came out a few minutes later to see Sarah smirking.

   "So...I guess all those kiss prints means you two finally got serious
huh?"

   "What Susan and I do on a date really isn't any of your business young
lady."

   "Yeah?  Well, what if you get pregnant dad?"

   She was laughing now, and I was blushing.  Was it so obvious ?  Was I so
obvious about my sexual life then too?

   "I can't get pregnant dear, you know that.  I'm a man.  Susan could but
I can't."

   "HAH!  You ARE getting it on then.  I knew it.  Besides, Susan can't get
pregnant...didn't she tell you that already?  She has never been able to. I
know that cause she told me about it once.  So...are you falling in love
with her too dad?"

   I was a bit flustered.  I had just given away the fact that Susan and I
were now officially having sex...to my daughter no less...and she was all
happy about it.  She also knew that Susan couldn't get pregnant too.  I was
also trying to figure out my feelings about all of what had transpired
tonight too.

   Was I in love with Susan?  Could Amy and I ever have a feeling of love
to the point that we could or would get married?  Was I ready for that
whole being married thing again too?  I had lots of questions on my mind,
and no definite answers yet either.

   The next date I had with Amy was the telling one.  I just couldn't seem
to get into her as I once had.  We went to her place, and once in bed, I
was able to please her, but for me it was just going through the paces.  I
felt bad about it, and as I was getting dressed she brought it up.

   "So...I guess that by the way you acted tonight, you and Susan are
moving into more of a closer relationship then.  Are you going to tell me
tonight that we are done?"

   "I'm sorry Amy.  I'm not sure what's going on with me tonight."

   "Answer me this then lover.  Did you and Susan finally do it the other
night then?"

   "I really don't kiss and tell Amy...you should know that."

   "Well?  It's not like I'm going to run out and tell the world now is it?
You and I are a thing bud...but that's all, it's just a fuck buddy thing.
No love...just sex.  If you have found someone to love and someone you want
to spend the rest of your life with...by all means jump on it.  I won't be
hurt.  I'll miss that huge cock of yours, yes...but I won't be hurt."

   "Amy...I don't know what to say.  I mean...you are beautiful and someone
I care about deeply..."

   "You love me?  Is that it?"

   "Well, no...not love as in 'want to spend the rest of my life with' but
as a friend."

   "Good.  I was afraid that you had fallen for me there for a second.  You
and me, we're just fuck buddies.  That's all.  You're just a cock to me,
and I'm just a pussy to you.  If you and Susan have a chance at being happy
together as a couple, then you should dump me pronto and jump on her
bandwagon.  She's a keeper honey.  I can see it in your eyes
anyway...you're in love with her.  I could tell tonight too."

   "That obvious was it?"

   "Oh sweetie...I hope that one day I can find someone like you for a
lover and a husband.  I'm probably making a huge mistake in my life right
now by not having gone after you for husband material, but I also know that
you don't feel towards me what you feel towards Susan.  That's all right
though.  I'll be fine.  We'll be fine.  Susan is the one that has your
heart and you need to dedicate yourself to her now."

   "You'll be okay?  I feel like shit about this."

   "Don't.  It was just a sexual thing for us...Susan is the real deal.  Go
for it."

   We parted that night, with a bittersweet kiss.  Amy was a real wonderful
person, and I'd never forget her either.  She had been serious about the
fuck-buddy thing all along, and I had gotten worried that she may have
decided she wanted more from me.  I was glad and lucky that she hadn't.  I
had the road open now...I was free, or at least I felt free to pursue Susan
full time now.

   It's been two years since that fateful night.  Amy and I still work
together, quite well as a matter of fact.  I was promoted up the food
chain, and in the process, I brought Amy up too, as she is very deserving
of those promotions.  Even if we had not been sexual I would have offered
her the promotions that came along.  She is a very smart person, and very
good at her job too.

   Amy met a man she feels she loves 'in that way' and they are planning on
setting a date.  She told me that she wants me to give the bride away,
since her father passed away some time ago.  I accepted.  She appears to be
very happy, and I can only hope that her marriage is all that she dreams.

   Sue and I...well, we married a year and a half ago.  Sarah and Beth were
bridesmaids, and James was my best man.  Sue is everything that I have ever
wanted in a wife.  I'm lucky to have managed to fall in love with her, and
even luckier that she fell in love with me.

   Sarah is in college, and doing quite well.  She's going for her MBA. 
James is about to graduate and soon he too will be off to college.  Beth is
a junior, and I can see that she is much like her older sister in many
ways. Sue and the kids have gotten along splendidly and are all close to
each other.  I couldn't have hoped or prayed for a better ending that this.

   My ex?  She got help...and after some time was able to conquer the
demons that drove her to be that way that she went.  For a time she tried
to get back with me, but one time I guess Sarah told her off and in no
certain terms she found out that I would never again look to date or in any
other way be around her.  Eventually she found another man who she married
and from what Beth tells me, she seems happy.  Not that I really care
either way...anymore.

   I have to run now...my wife Sue is calling to me...seems that we have a
date at the yacht club.  Sarah and her 'date' will be meeting us there for
dinner.  Sounds like a serious dinner too, knowing how Sarah is.  Perhaps
someone is going to ask the question or maybe permission to ask the
question.  He seems like a nice young man.  I hope that they can wait until
after college to get married, but if they are in real love, I suppose it
really won't matter in the end when they get married.  As long as they are
happy ever after.