Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Fall from grace.  Or How a wife failed to understand her husband.

   Cuckold, gang, inter, rape, drug, humil.

   My husband worked hard to provide for us.  We had no children yet, and
since he was only twenty-eight, and I was only twenty-five, we had decided
to wait until we were in our early thirties.  Our thinking was that we
would be more 'set' in life and able to better take care of our kids then.

   Well then I messed up my marriage in a very real, painful, and probably
unforgivable way.  It all started one afternoon.  Cleaning my husband's
home office, I stumbled across a magazine.  It had letters from people. 
They were very erotic.  Mostly they were about the more private aspects of
their marriages.

   I couldn't believe what some of these people had supposedly done.  I
read stories about wives having sex with one, two or even larger numbers of
strangers.  How some husbands had encouraged and even watched or
participated in their sexual depravities.  I was shocked at first, never
realizing that MY husband would have such 'reading' material in his
possession.

   I found myself reading most of the letters and I guess, trying to
understand my husband's motivation for liking this stuff.  I also had a
curiosity about these people and their relationships.  How could a man
watch his wife have sex with another man?  Why would a woman do such a
thing?

   After reading most of the stories, I put the magazine back exactly where
I had found it.  I never mentioned it to my husband.  I tried to put those
words out of my mind.  How some of the women had been so sexually gratified
and fulfilled in their slutty behavior was beyond me.

   A week later cleaning the den again, I dug out that magazine only to
find three more sitting underneath it.  His 'collection' was growing.  In
my curious state of mind, reading them didn't seem like such a bad thing.
Perusing through them thoughts came to mind, unbidden, but very
stimulating. Soon I was in a very serious way, horny, as I had ever been.

   Breaking away from my reading, thinking about the whorish and slutty
ways these wives enjoyed themselves had put me into the mood to do
something that I hadn't done since High School, that being to masturbate.
Which became a great release for the fire inside me.

   From that day on, while my husband was at work, his wife read and
masturbated.  His collection grew to ten magazines.  Some of the stories
had definite marks of wear and tear.  They involved the wife having a group
of black men taking her and using her as their personal slut.

   My thoughts soon became, after days of reading and fantasizing, that I
was one of those women.  I was the slut; I was the plaything of all of
those huge big blacks.  They would use me in so many ways.  They took my
anal virginity, made me swallow their cum, and they would fuck me in two's
and three's for hours on end.  They were demanding of me and treated me
like their personal whore.

   After several weeks the 'need for read' as I thought of it, became an
overpowering addiction.  Spending as much as two or three hours of my day
masturbating, reading, and dreaming of how I could be a good slut too.  How
I could please my husband by being a whore for black cock.  How happy he
would be with me for being his slut.



   There were some benefits to my being addicted to these stories.  My
husband got sex almost every night, and even though it was only vaginal,
well...  he was happier than I had seen him for quite some time.  I still
wouldn't go down on him, although he had tried to get me to.  I would
however, let him on occasion go down on me.  He seemed to really like
licking and sucking on my pussy even if I felt that I needed to be
reluctant to let him.

   I had been brought up in a very strict and religious house.  My father
had been a minister and therefore I had a pretty sheltered life.  Ted, my
husband, took my virginity on our wedding night.  I found it to be a 'nice'
feeling and even had an orgasm.  The pain had been pretty hard for a bit,
but by the third night, well, I looked forward to having sex with Ted a
lot. I couldn't bring myself to show him how much I liked it though, being
so inhibited by my bringing up.  I didn't want Ted my new husband to think
that his wife was a wanton slut.

   One night after dinner, I finally hinted about his 'collection'.  Ted
became upset and even a little mad at me.  "Jane, why would you snoop
through my desk?  You should know that is my private spot.  I never go
through your vanity or your purse or even God forbid, your diary.  Why
would you invade my privacy like this?"

   I knew that I had really hurt him.  On the other hand, I was miffed that
he thought to sneak around and use magazines for sexual relief.  Wasn't I,
his wife, attractive enough for him?  Didn't I turn him on enough?  I
finally blurted that out.  "Ted, I am your wife.  You should be getting
turned on by me not some porno magazine.  Those stories are, are, well, I
can't believe that you would read trash like that."

   I had realized towards the end of my barrage at him, that I had been
reading that 'trash', I had been masturbating over those stories, I had
been fantasizing about those men, I wanted to deep down experience
something like that in my life.  "Jane, have you been reading those
magazines?  Tell me you haven't been reading them ."

   Embarrassed, I could only silently look at the floor.  Ted took my
silence as a positive answer.  "Jane, you don't understand at all.  Those
magazines are not mine, they are...well who's they are is not important. 
What is important is the fact that I don't read them and you shouldn't even
know about them." "What do you mean you don't read them Ted?  I have seen
those parts that are almost worn through the pages where you have been
obviously reading them over and over."

   My indignance at his claim of those magazines not being his inflamed my
temper.  How dare he imply that I was doing something bad when HE was the
one who had brought them into my house to begin with.  "You just don't
understand Jane.  I can't tell you any more than that. 
They...are...not...mine...just drop it.  Please?" We went to bed mad at
each other, and for the first time in several weeks we had no sex.  My
anger was stuck in my head for days afterwards.  I still read and
masturbated.  Ted tried to get me to have sex and I refused.  "You tell me
the truth about those magazines and I will think about letting you have a
little Ted." I was being very stubborn.  Ted, for his part still refused to
talk about them.

   One day when I went to the desk, I found that they were all gone.  He
had gotten rid of them or moved them somewhere else.  I tore the house
apart looking for them, never finding them.  My 'need for read' had become
an overwhelming part of my life at this point.  When Ted got home the mess
the house was in stunned him.  I was in our bedroom frantically
masturbating, just having an orgasm when he walked in.  My state of dress
and what I was doing as he first saw me shocked him.  "Jane!  What on earth
have you been doing?" "I have been masturbating Ted.  Haven't you ever
heard of masturbating?  Oh yeah, sure you have because those women in
'those' magazines masturbated a quite a bit for their lovers." I was horny,
mad, frustrated, and tired of Ted's refusal to tell me about those damn
magazines.  I also needed to get him off balance so that he wouldn't get
the upper hand with me.  "What have you done to the house?  It looks like a
tornado hit the place." "Fuck you Ted.  You are always on my case about the
most stupid things.  You won't even admit that you like those magazines. 
You know what Ted?  I LIKE those magazines.  I have read them, and I liked
what I read.  I even masturbate to them." In tears,I ran into the bathroom
and locked the door.  The chasm between us deepened even more after that.

   We went for a month with just per functionary words between us.  Words
like, 'How much milk do we have?' or "Did you get the mail?" We said
nothing personal or loving at all.  I had refused Ted sex for this whole
time and he was getting very uptight about the situation.  My release was
by masturbating and I was getting real good at that.

   One night he gently guided me into our recliner.  "Jane, we can't go on
like this.  Why are you being so stubborn?  Can't you just forget this? 
Look, I am sorry about those magazines.  I wasn't reading them, you have to
trust me on that.  I love you very much, but I can not tell you anything
more than those magazines aren't mine."

   For the first time in weeks I wavered.  I finally knew that he must be
very embarrassed about my finding them like I had.  I decided that if we
were going to stay married I had better get over it, and now seemed like
the perfect time to relent.  "I'm sorry Ted.  It's just those magazines
disturbed me.  The thought of you reading them instead of coming to me for
your thrills hurt.  I love you and don't want to lose you Ted.  I am sorry.
If they aren't yours then I shouldn't be so cold to you.  I have to accept
your word at face value, so I do.  Can you forgive me?"

   He swept me onto my feet and hugged my tightly.  His lips were dancing
all over my face and neck.  I was horny too.  I knew that we were going to
have some great sex tonight for sure.  "Jane honey, I love you to, and I am
glad that you apologized to me.  I have always only wanted you sweetie, and
you have been the only one I have thought about sexually.  Just you and me
only, no one else.  I am glad that you understand that they were not mine
and that is the important thing now."

   I decided to let Ted think that I believed him.  I knew deep down he did
love me even if he couldn't bring himself to tell me why he had gotten
those magazines.  For the first time in a month we had very intimate sex.
My theory was his shyness at telling me that deep down he woudl like me to
be a whore for black men.  Husbands were not supposed to want their wives
to do something like that, so how could he ask me to do that?  If he only
knew how much I was willing to try just those very things for him.

   He held me tightly in his arms, kissing me.  I became active too.  I
rubbed against him feeling his hardness.  His cock was so nice and hard.  I
couldn't wait to feel it inside me.  I stroked it outside his pants.  I
could still feel it throb and move as I ran my hand over it.  His desire
was inflaming me.

   His hands were on my back and they started down grasping the cheeks of
my bottom.  I could feel them pulling on my dress, lifting it oh so slowly
upwards.  The cool evening air wafting through our open window brushed
lightly over my bottom causing shivers to run through me.

   I unzipped his pants and then unbuttoned them.  They fell to the floor.
I pushed his underwear down and bent a bit to get them to fall down over
his knees.  I hesitated there, my head and mouth just inches away from his
rock hard tool.  I fought an irresistible urge to reach out with my tongue
and lick his cock.  I wanted to.  I was still too inhibibited to let him
know that his wife was fast becoming a real slut.  But deep down I really
wanted to lick and suck his cock.  Even to the point of letting him cum in
my mouth.  I wrenched myself into a standing position.

   Soon I had unbuttoned his shirt and had it off of his shoulders.  Naked,
he hugged my body tightly to his.  Holding me then lifting me up in his
strong arms, he carried me into our bedroom.  As he set me down on the
floor to stand before him, he pulled my dress up and over my head, leaving
me in bra and panties.  I was so wet my panties had a huge spot almost
dripping as I stood before my loving husband.

   He removed my bra with a practiced hand, baring my breasts to his view.
I shuddered as I realized that I loved him looking at my body.  Usually our
sex was in the dark, lights out, and he rarely got the chance to see my
body.  Now though, now I wanted to show off for him, to let him see me in
all of my glory.  My nipples hardened, begging for a touch of his tongue.
My panties followed my bra, tossed over to the side of the room.

   My hands were holding his hard, hot, shaft.  I wanted him like never
before.  I wanted him to 'take' me like one of those sluts in his
magazines. I wanted to be used, and used hard.  I wanted him to force my
submission to his will.  I wanted to be his slut.  His whore.  I was so on
fire with desire and need that I was almost ready to cry.

   His hands were fondling my breasts.  Pinching my nipples he rolled them
and pulled gently on them.  I wanted him to be rougher.  I needed him to be
more forceful.  He was being too gentle with me.  Insanely, I pushed him
down onto the bed.  I followed his body, landing on top of him.  My pussy
was dripping wet and I wanted his hardness deep in me NOW.

   He looked into my eyes and started to say something.  I kissed him hard
and deep, preventing him from saying anything to ruin my mood at this
point. My pussy lips opened up and once I got in the right position, I
enveloped his penis, his hard hot cock, and took it deep into my wet needy
pussy.  I was telling myself, cock, Jane, cock!  I want cock!  I wanted to
act or rather, be, the slut for Ted that I thought he wanted me to be.

   We made love for hours.  Ted was drained when I finally got too tired to
go on.  I had fucked him royally.  I had been the most active fuck bunny
tonight.  I let him eat me out twice.  The second time right after he had
cum in my hot wet pussy.  I even gave his cock a little lick with my tongue
at one point, but couldn't bring myself to go any farther.  I still
couldn't let go.  Ted was curious about my new persona.  I never gave him a
chance to ask, I went to the bathroom and showered.  When I got out he was
asleep.  Lying in bed next to him I watched his face for a long time that
night.  I just wanted to look at him, study his face.  I guess I was trying
to 'see' those stories in his head and get a feel for what he was thinking
when he read them.

   We got a long much better for the next months.  I really got sexed up
and kept Ted busy in bed almost every night.  He even mentioned that he
liked the 'new' me.  Our anniversary was coming up so we made plans to go
out of town and have a week in Las Vegas.  Kind of like a second honeymoon.


   Ted took me downtown and we went on a shopping spree, buying me new
clothes.  I decided to get some really daring dresses, the kind that I
hadn't until now had the nerve to wear.  I was blessed with a great body,
but I had never felt 'right' exposing it in anyway.  I had been lucky to
get fairly large breasts, but with them had come my parents drilling me to
keep them covered in bland, almost ugly clothes.  Baggy sweatshirts, loose
high-necked dresses.

   With my new outlook on life, I wanted to get racy, and be sexy in dress
and actions.  Ted didn't know what to think about my new code, but I could
tell he loved it.  He was proud to be walking by such a sexy, desirable
'babe' as he put it.  Especially since that 'babe' was his wife.

   I got some real sexy lingerie, some short, very short, low-cut dresses;
one dress was silk, a one piece with a plunging neckline front and back. 
My belly button was just about exposed, as well as the swell at the top of
my butt.  In the mirror in the changing booth I could see the very start of
the 'crack' of my butt.  There was no way that I could wear a bra, or for
that matter panties with it.  My breasts were visible on both sides, and
the material barely covered my nipples.  It made me feel so wanton.  So,
well, slutty.  I didn't let Ted see this one.  I wanted to surprise him in
Vegas one night.

   To complement my new dresses, I got some spike high heels.  They had
about six-inch heels, and I practiced walking in them at home.  Ted didn't
know about them either.  This one particular look was going to knock his
socks off.  (More than that I hoped!)

   On the day we flew out to Vegas, Ted was quiet.  He had something on his
mind.  Arriving at the hotel, he left me standing at the front desk while
he made a quick phone call to someone.  Later, on our way to our room, he
told me some bad news.  "I have to go to work on Monday.  The boss has
scheduled an important meeting that I have to attend.  I will try to get a
red-eye flight Monday night so that I can be back to spend the rest of our
week together.F" "Ted, you promised that we would be here for the whole six
days." I was extremely disappointed.  He could tell that this was going to
upset me; it was probably what had preoccupied him on the way out here. 
"Jane, I promise that I will do my best.  Please don't be mad, we still
have most of the week ahead of us honey, we can still have a lot of fun. 
Besides, I really do not have a choice in the matter, it involves my
department in particular."

   I knew that there was no way around this.  His overbearing boss was
always doing things like this to him.  Stay late, work the weekend, take
your vacation later, it was most aggravating to me.  Actually to both of
us, I really wasn't being fair to Ted at the moment.  "Oh, honey, I'm
sorry. I know that you are not doing this on purpose.  I will be all right.
It will be fun.  Let's go to our room, and maybe we can get an early start
on our fun."

   Our room was very nice.  The bed was huge, and we also had a Jacuzzi in
the bathroom.  We put away our things, then settled in.  Getting undressed,
I tried to be as sexy and seductive as I could.  The effect was not lost on
Ted.  By the time I was naked, he was in bed with a nice hard erection. 
"Is that all for me?" "Who else is here Jane?  Who else would I have
something like this for?  Only one person in the world, you Jane." I knelt
on the bed and prowled up to him on my hands and knees.  As I straddled his
body, I stuck my tongue out and started to lick my way up his chest to his
mouth.  Hands intertwined, we began to grind against each other.  Soon I
had his cock in my pussy, and I was literally bouncing on my husband.  It
didn't take long and we both went over the edge.  As I felt his hot spray
of his love hitting the sides and back of my pussy, I went into a big
orgasm.  It seemed to go for a long time.

   Lying together later, I had an urge to play with his cock.  As I fondled
him, he began to move around.  Soon, Ted had his head at my wet, sloppy
pussy.  His tongue sent little shocks through me.  He had gone down on me
after having fucked me only once before, that being just a week ago.  I was
so into the moment, I didn't even think to try and stop him.  In almost no
time at all I was rolling through several small but very satisfying
orgasms.

   In the morning, we went out and gambled for a bit.  Then we took in a
couple of shows.  That evening we were in the hotel lounge having some
after dinner drinks.  A live band was playing and being in a dancing mood I
pried Ted out of our seats and began to dance with him.  "Honey, can we go
up to our room and change?  I don't' know about you, but I would like to
have a shower.  Afterwards, we could come down and dance to your hearts
content." "O.K.  Ted, but no sex until after we have had some dance time
in. I have a surprise for you, and believe me I think you will go crazy
about it after we get back."

   I had an idea that this would be a good time for that black silk dress
and those sexy high heels.  I figured that I could slip off the heels to
dance, and then putting them on to leave, well, I could really put on a
show for my horny husband.

   As Ted was showering, I got to thinking about those magazines.  I also
thought back to the two times he had licked me after cumming in my pussy.
That was something new in our love life, and I was sure at that moment that
Ted was imagining licking the cum of other men out of me.  The cum of other
BLACK men.

   I then decided that maybe, since we were going a bit wild here, I could
dance with some black guy's and really get Ted worked up.  Maybe, if I
liked the situation, and I thought that Ted was into it, I would even go a
little bit farther than dance.  I was feeling so wicked, and slutty at that
point.  I wouldn't have sex with any of them, just some flirting and
possibly some light petting.  Make Ted a little jealous in order to get him
on edge for some wild sex.

   When Ted got out of the shower, I was dressed and had a coat over my
sexy new dress.  He saw the heels and looked up to my face with such a
lustful stare that I almost took off the coat.  I didn't want to go and
have sex now and miss the live dance though, so I just got him to get
dressed and we went down to the lounge.

   Arriving at the lounge, there was a fair crowd.  I saw quite a few black
men hanging around and dancing.  Ted got us a table in the back of the
place.  It was darker there, and the table had enclosed booth on both sides
so it was very private.  In the mood I was in this was even better.

   As Ted removed my coat, I heard a ripple of gasps and other comments go
throughout the bar.  Ted stood frozen by my side as my new dress and most
of his wife's body came into view.  He was just standing there, gawking at
me.  Tickled by his response, I teased him a bit by leaning towards the
table and putting my purse clear across to the other side, at the back. 
This move caused my dress to slink away from my breasts and gave a good
show to him and several other men in the vicinity.  Most of those other men
being strong looking and black.

   My poor husband was shaking like a leaf as he guided me to my seat in
the back of the booth.  "GOD Jane, you look so...gorgeous, so beautiful so
SEXY.  When did you get that dress?" "This little old thing?  Well Ted, you
were in the store with me while we were shopping, don't you remember?"
"Honey, if I had seen you in that dress I would surely have remembered it."

   I was so pleased at the effect I had on him, and those other men.  It
made me feel like I was the queen of the land.  I felt slutty, almost
whorish.  Ted was at the point of drooling.  After a few drinks, we danced
to some fast songs.  I discovered that my dress was hard to keep in place,
so I started to beg off on the faster ones, keeping to the slow ones so
that I wouldn't get kicked out of the lounge for exposing myself.

   About an hour after dancing, a few bold men started to ask me to dance.
At first I refused.  One guy came up and asked me and as I was refusing him
Ted had a look in his eyes that I took to mean he would like to see me out
there in another man's arms.  I quickly changed my mind accepting a dance.

   Ted had a strange look on his face as my new dance partner walked me out
on the dance floor.  The song finished as we were walking out and a fast
one came on.  I almost quit to go back to the table but the man's dark
hands firmly guided me out on the floor before I could protest.

   As we danced the man stayed very close to me and started to do a sexy
bump and grind.  Soon I was bumping up against him, and at one point I
actually straddled his leg and rubbed against him.  It got me so hot,
having that contact with his warm, firm body.  My pussy was tingling and I
was getting wet.  Since I only had on garter-belt and stockings, I could
feel a cool breeze hit my clit when I moved quickly around him.

   His hands held me loosely at my hips sometimes dipping down and grabbing
my bottom.  He didn't leave them there long enough for me to complain
though.  Then the song was over.

   We walked back to our table and he sat down next to me.  Ted was on the
other side.  The stranger ordered drinks for us and after a bit the
waitress brought them to us.  It took a while before she got back with
them. Soon the stranger had me back out dancing.  We danced a fast one then
a slow one.  His hands still wandered a bit, but overall he was being a
'gentleman'.  We finished the slow dance and headed back to our table.  As
we walked back to my husband, another man intercepted us and he talked me
out on the floor for the next dance.  These guys knew each other, and were
very persuasive.  As I danced with my new partner, I saw the other guy sit
down at our table.  He was talking with my husband who couldn't take his
eyes off of me.

   This song was a fast one also.  My new partner, who I found out was
named John, was bold and held my body firmly in his control.  His hands
didn't try anything at first, but soon he was getting pretty brave.  I felt
one hand at the back of my dress, right on my skin, just above my bottom. I
had a shiver run through me.  My thoughts were mixed and the alcohol had
given me a 'looser' attitude.  After our dance John and I went back and sat
down.  Ted was still on one side of me while John was next to me now.

   As we talked we found out that my first dance partner was named Chub. 
We had several drinks, and I noticed that John or Chub were always watching
me as I drank.  I thought that I must have been exposing something when I
tilted my head back.  I faintly noticed that the drinks were getting
stronger too.

   Chubb took me out for the next couple of dances.  He got a view of my
breasts a few times on the two fast songs we danced to.  His technique at
dancing was getting more forceful also.  He danced me over into a darker
area on the floor.  As we got into progressively darker areas, his touch
got bolder.  I had the feeling that he was going for broke.  I didn't
discourage him, since I knew that Ted was watching us and I really wanted
to get Ted worked up.  Besides, I figured that Ted would stop us if he
thought we were going too far.

   I flirted with him a bit.  His hands moved around me and as he would
change positions in our dance they would 'slip' over a breast here, into
the back to touch my bottom there, and pretty soon, well, I was hotter than
I had ever been in my life.  He never kept his hand anywhere long enough
for me to stop him or cause me alarm.  His timing was good and I knew he
was doing it on purpose.

   Getting back to our table, Ted rose up and let me in.  As I slid by him
Chub slipped in behind me, effectively cutting Ted off from sitting by me.
John had slipped around to be on my other side.  Ted looked a little pissed
off, but not wanting a scene played out here and now, I gave him a 'it will
be all right' look.  Ted sat down, a little miffed.  I liked his being
jealous.

   As the band came back from break, Ted got up and wanted to dance.  I
begged off, since I was tired from being on the floor for so long already.
He looked hurt, but didn't say anything.  As he sat back down, I felt a
hand on my thigh.  Looking over at John, I realized that Ted could not see
what was going on.  Soon Chub's hand was on my other thigh.  I had two
strange black men rubbing my legs under the table in front of my loving
husband, and he knew nothing about it.

   As they fondled my body, they talked to Ted as if nothing was happening
under the table right in front of him.  Ted, since he couldn't see what
they were up to just carried on the conversation.  We discovered that John,
and his friend Chub were business partners.  "Yeah, Chub and I share
everything Ted.  We have been together in business for eight years.  Chub
is the muscle and I am the brains." They laughed at his remarks, obviously
having a great time feeling me up in front of my clueless hubby.  Their
hands were going higher a little bit at a time.  I, feeling like a first
class slut, spread my legs a few inches, encouraging them.  "We even shared
a couple of girlfriends in the past.  We're more like brothers than
anything.  John even helped me to get through college.  He is my best
friend." Chub was sincere, but I could see a 'look' pass between them as he
said that.

   By now, their hands were just below my hot wet pussy.  I could feel
fingers lightly moving upwards, seeking out a target.  I was too turned on
and also fearful that Ted would start trouble if I let on what they were
doing.  I was also thinking in the back of my mind, that Ted really wanted
to see this anyway didn't he?  After all, I thought, what about those
stories in the magazines?

   Just before their hands reached their intended target I made a move to
slow things down a bit.  I didn't know at the moment how far I wanted them
to go.  To be honest, I had already gone much farther than I had intended
to.  I vaguely knew that I was behaving in a real slutty and whorish way.
It was so out of character for me to do this.  My feelings were tossing and
turning.  I felt like I was watching from overhead, not in control of my
actions, but it felt good too.

   I got up to go to the bathroom and Ted excused himself to go at that
time.  I was so horny and turned on.  I had two black men, fondling me,
almost to the point of finger-fucking me in public, in front of my husband,
and he was unaware!  God, it felt so wicked, so slutty.  I loved the
feelings I was having at that moment.  "Jane, maybe we need to go up to our
room.  I would like to have you to myself now honey." "Ted, I just want to
stay a little bit longer, please?  I still want to dance and kick up my
heels sweetie.  Just a little bit longer, please?  I am having so much
fun."

   Ted reluctantly agreed.  After I got out of the bathroom, John was
waiting at the entrance to take me onto the dance floor.  We swirled away
together, and as I got out there I saw Ted give me a lost, lonely look. 
'It's only for a couple of dances.' I thought.  'He can wait that long for
Christ's sake!'

   John danced me into the dark recesses of the floor and off to the side.
Out of sight of Ted.  He was still dancing with me, but I felt a large lump
in his pants now.  His hands were even more insistent in their explorations
of my body.

   "Jane, you are a very beautiful, attractive lady.  You turn me on so
much." "Thank you John, but maybe we should get on the main part of the
floor, don't you think?" "Let's just stay here for a bit babe.  I think you
like what we are doing here tonight, don't you?"

   Selfishly I wanted his attentions to my body.  I was hornier than I had
been in my life, with all of the feelings racing through me.  I wouldn't be
fucking these guys, just flirting and letting them feel me up a bit, I
thought to myself.  No harm in that is there?  "Well, you devil, I guess we
can stay over here for a little bit, but remember, my husband is right over
there, watching." "I don't think he can see us where we are Jane, and even
if he could, would you care?  Hell, he may even want to watch you being
sexy with another guy."

   I shivered with the knowledge that this black man, holding me in his
hands, knew my thoughts and feelings so well.  I did want him to continue
fondling me.  I even, at this moment, wanted him to go a lot farther for
some crazy reason.  Both of them, I wanted both of them to go farther.  I
thought of those magazines and those stories.  I thought of my fantasies.

   Suddenly, I realized his left hand was on my breast, under my dress. 
His warm skin on my skin.  His fingers rolling my nipple between them.  I
felt a gush of wetness in my pussy.  I didn't even try to stop him I was so
turned on.  I wanted him and I wanted him NOW.

   Chub showed up alongside of us as John continued to fondle my breast. 
He now had both nipples in his hands and he was massaging me so
indescribably well.  Chub put a hand on my back and soon it was underneath
my dress and fingers touched my bare bottom.

   I moaned softly.  I didn't mean to, it just came out.  Hands on my
breasts suddenly became lips!  John had my breast's bared and was sucking
on one of them.  I felt his teeth lightly biting a nipple, and then pulling
off in an almost painful tug.  Each time it happened, I felt my pussy gush
more wetness.

   Chub's hand was now around my front and his fingers were stroking my
wet, hot, pussy.  I shuddered as my first climax coursed through my body. I
had climaxed in public, on a dance floor.  Not only that, but I climaxed
while being fondled by two black men who were strangers to both my husband
and I.

   Other dancers on the floor near us stared at us as they danced around. I
overheard some saying things.  "What a slut!" "Did you see that woman?"
"Did I just see what I thought I saw?"

   John supported me in his arms until I could get a grip on myself.  We
went back to the table, where my husband was concernedly looking around for
me.  "What are you doing Jane?" He was looking at me with a look that I
couldn't quite figure out.  "I'm great!  We just had a great dance; I
danced with John and Chub.  They are so wonderful and nice." "I didn't ask
how, I asked what, WHAT are you doing?"

   I saw Ted looking down at my chest.  Oh GOD, my breasts were hanging
out, and you could see red marks where John had sucked two big hickies on
them.  Ted looke up into my eyes with a shocked expression.  "Jane, we need
to go to our room now.  Please?" "In a minute Ted, I want to have a drink
before we leave these two nice gentlemen." I put my breasts back in the
dress and sat down.  John and Chub sat on either side of me again.  This
time it was obvious they were feeling me up in front of Ted.

   Chub put a hand on my dress on his side of me and pulled it to the side,
exposing my breast.  John grabbed the other side and pulled it away.  One
of them untied the top little keeper strap, and then the whole top of my
dress was lowered down to my waist.  I was topless in the lounge, sitting
between two black, virile, sexy men.

   Their hands were on my breasts, fingers pinching and pulling on my
nipples.  Ted had a look of shock, then anger.  He started to get up to say
something when John stopped him.  "Hey man, sit down before you get us all
in trouble.  Your wife loves what we are doing to her, and if she wants us
to stop, we will.  I don't hear her yelling for us to stop.  You need to
chill man, chill." "Take your hands off of my wife!" Ted was furious. 
"Ted, it's all right honey.  I don't mind it is only some groping.  It's
not like I am fucking them or anything.  After all, this is your deepest
fantasy isn't it?  To see me with black men?  Isn't that what you really
want?" I was teasing him a bit.  I felt so sexy and he was so upset.  I
figured that he would calm down, and when he did we would go to our room. I
was feeling so reckless at this point.  Sober I probably would have been
yelling and in tears being handled like this in public by two black strange
men.  Ted sat down hard.  His hands were shaking.  He had a wetness in his
eyes that I couldn't quite understand.  The fog in my mind was dimming my
sense of reality.  "Jane, please...  please...  lets go to our room.  I
think we need to go to our room now, by ourselves.  Please Jane, come with
me."

   He spoke so softly I almost couldn't hear him.  I was getting worked up
to another orgasm by the hands in my pussy and on my breasts.  John and
Chub hadn't let up at all.  The fire in my body was consuming me totally
now.  I was a little pissed off at Ted for wanting me to go upstairs to our
room, when I was doing what he so deeply imagined about.  "You go on ahead
Ted, I'll be up in a bit." He stood, looking like he was going to cry. 
"PLEASE Jane, please come with me?" "You go on ahead, I'll be along when I
am ready.  I am going to dance for a bit more first.  I am sure that John
and Chub will walk me to our room later." "Jane, I am begging you, please
come with me now."

   I was getting mad at him.  Who in the hell did he think he was?  He
started all of this by having those porno mags in his desk.  It was his
idea.  Fuck him, I was staying with my two admirers for now.  I would deal
with Ted later.  "Go, Ted, I will be along later I said.  I will be all
right with these two MEN."

   I meant to dig into his pride a bit with my last comment.  He wanted
this, now I was going to finish it, whether he liked it or not.

   Ted turned and walked away.  His shoulders were slumped; he had the look
of a man who had lost everything.  I felt kind of bad about being so rough
on him, so I decided to make it up to him later.  I would try to do
something special for him, like maybe suck his cock for a first.  Yeah,
that would make it all right; I would lick and suck his cock.

   After Ted left, I danced a few more times with John and Chub.  They got
real bold with me and soon they had my dress off as we sat in the booth.  I
felt a hand on the back of my head and it was pulling me down to John's
crotch.  As my head cleared the side of our table, I saw his enormous cock
sticking out of his pants.

   Subconsciously, I licked my lips.  The pressure on my head continued
until my lips were touching the monstrous head.  I opened my lips and the
head went into my mouth.  John could soon tell that I had never done this
before.  It amused him.  "No...I...I haven't done something like this
before.  I have never had a man in my mouth." I was trying to stop what was
quickly a situation going out of control.  "Hey Chub, this bitch has a
virgin mouth.  I wonder what else is virgin on her?" "Lets get her up to
our room, and we will find out John." They kept me on the edge of an orgasm
with their hands and fingers, while John had me licking and sucking on his
huge, hard cock.  I choked and gagged several times, but his hand on my
head refused to let me quit what was obviously a pleasurable act for him.
Before he came in my mouth he pushed me off of his cock.  "It's time Chub,
lets get our new whore up to the room.  She is begging for it now."

   I had never had feelings like this before.  I didn't understand how I
could be so slutty, sucking on a strangers black cock in a public place,
while I myself was naked.  I felt like I was out of control of my own
actions, and even worse, I didn't care.  I had found this whole sexual
depravity in public to be such a turn on that I didn't care.

   They stood me up, and Chub grabbed my dress.  They led me naked through
the lounge and into the lobby.  Whistles and catcall followed us as we
left. Thankfully the lobby was vacant as we headed to the elevator.  Riding
up in the elevator, Chub got me on my knees and had me suck on his large
cock.  For some reason that I couldn't understand, I really wanted to
please these men.  I had an overwhelming urge to do as they asked, or
rather, ordered.  Somewhere deep inside me a voice was screaming for me to
stop this, to not do this to my husband or myself.  It just didn't have the
strength to get up the nerve to stop this.

   When the doors opened on their floor, I was still sucking on him.  I
heard a gasp.  Turning as I stood up to get out of the elevator, Ted was
standing in front of me.  He had seen me kneeling naked in a public
elevator with a large black cock in my mouth.

   He had seen his sweet loving wife sucking on a stranger's big black cock
in public.  A stunned and terrible look of pain shot through his eyes.  He
turned and walked away.  I was not so sure now that this was what he
wanted. I began to go after him, to go with him, but John and Chub held me
back.  Stranded between these tow men I helplessly watched my husband enter
our room down the hall.  "Come on baby, let the loser go.  We have just
what you need slut.  Two nice, big, hard, cocks.  Black cocks.  You will
love it." "No, I have to go with Ted.  You don't understand.  I can't go
with you guys."

   They drug me to their room down the hall.  I struggled but they were
stronger and forced me to go with them.  In their room I saw that they had
cameras and other things all over the place.  One bed was set up with
straps.  The bedside table held a case that had evil looking things in it.
I only saw a dildo sticking out of it, but I could there were other things
in there that I couldn't identify.

   I soon found myself tied down, spread eagle on the bed.  They put a ball
gag in my mouth because I was starting to yell.  "Bitch, you need to shut
the fuck up before you get really hurt.  We are just going to have some fun
with you and in the morning we will let you go.  For tonight, well, you are
our play toy.  Cooperate, and you might even have fun, fight, well, don't
fight.  I wouldn't want to hurt you real bad."

   I couldn't say anything with the gag in my mouth.  It almost choked me,
having that big rubber ball in me.  There was nothing I could do.  I had
chased away my only source of help, and I was at the mercy of these two
demons.  Tears flooded my face and ran to the mattress.  For the first time
this night I really realized that I was in very serious trouble.

   The first thing they did was decide to shave my pussy.  As they shaved
me I started to get wet.  Horrified that they would think I liked it I
tried to prevent it.  My body betrayed me though.  "Hey, the bitch likes
it. She likes us shaving her tight little pussy.  You are such a slut.  Can
you imagine?  Letting some black guys strip you in a public bar in front of
your husband?  Now she is letting those two big black strangers shave her
tight little cunt.  FILMING it no less.  What a slut.  Only a real whore
would do something like that to her man.  Is that what you are Jane?  A
whore?"

   I shook my head no!  I wasn't a whore I was a wife.  I loved my husband.
This was all a big mistake.  I couldn't tell them that with the gag in my
mouth though.  I knew that they wouldn't have cared anyway.

   John came up along side of me.  He grabbed my arm and wiped something on
it near my elbow.  Suddenly I felt a stinging there.  He had stuck a needle
in me!  Soon I felt a rushing feeling run through my head.  It buzzed and I
started to feel so good, so different.  I felt another little sting and a
hot rush down my veins.  I was in a dream, and there were black men all
around me.  I was surrounded with black flesh.  Cocks were thrusting in me,
at me, all around me.

   I vaguely remember straddling a big black cock and another one behind
me. He was buried in my ass.  A third man had his cock in my mouth and I
remember swallowing something.  It was kind of slimy, but I liked the taste
of it.  Hands were touching me all over and cocks were in me.  I had orgasm
after orgasm.

   In this dream like state I was sucking cocks, BIG BLACK COCKS.  I
swallowed cum, I begged for more when they would stop for more than a few
seconds.  My orgasm's steadily washed over me, growing and growing until I
passed out.

   When I came to the sun was pouring through the window.  I could see some
men standing in the hallway outside the door of the room, looking in at my
naked, used, abused body.  I was sore all over.  The maid had let herself
in and was standing in front of the bed I was on.  She had a stunned look
on her.  Her mouth open wide and a hand over it.  She crossed herself in a
prayer.

   I looked around and saw that I was not tied.  Everything was gone from
the night before.  I was alone, save for the maid.  There were six videos
on the desk and they had folded what was left of my silk dress sitting it
next to those tapes.  A note was on top of them.

   The maid left, saying she would be back later.  I went to take a shower.
As I stood in front of the mirror, naked, I saw writing all over my body.
Turning I saw some on my back too.  They had written on my body in black
marker.  'Black cock whore' 'this slut likes black cock only' 'insert black
cock here' The last one had an arrow pointing down my back to my gaping
open bottom.  My GOD!  They had taken me anally!  I had hickies, bruises
and red marks all over me.  There was even a handprint on one of my ass
cheeks.

   I stood in the shower for a long time, scrubbing and scrubbing.  Cum
continuously ran out of both of my very tender, sore holes.  I got most of
the marker off of my front, but the back wouldn't come off so well.  You
could still make out what had been written on me there.  I got dressed and
took the videos with me.  I couldn't let anyone see them.  See what a whore
I must have looked like.

   I stumbled down to our room.  I knocked on the door twice before Ted
opened it.  Crying I fell into the room.  Ted took the videos out of my
hands and closed the door behind us.  I stood there crying and Ted just
walked away.  He put those damning tapes in his suitcase that was lying on
the bed open.  "Well I see that the proverbial slut whore wife is back from
her evening of wanton sex.  How does it feel to cut your husbands heart out
and feed it to him?  Did you have great fun at my expense last night?  Did
those black bastards 'do' it for you?"

   Sobbing, I tried to come up with the right thing to say, anything to get
Ted to forgive me for my behavior.  I came up dry.  I had no excuse, no
reason good enough.  Even though I had been repeatedly raped all night, he
had only seen me naked, in an elevator, sucking on that black man's cock.
His last view of his formerly loving and chaste wife had been of her acting
like a slut.  What could I have said that would have let him forgive me? 
"I suggest that you get changed out of that dress and into something more
presentable for the flight home.  I don't want it known that I have a
fucking slut for a wife!"

   His words burned my heart.  He was angrier than I had ever seen him
before.  I had destroyed our marriage in one foul night.  He was at least
taking me home, which was a good sign.  Maybe he would forgive me yet.  I
could only hope.  "I am sorry Ted.  I didn't mean for it to go this far. 
If you only hadn't gotten those magazines to read I would still have been a
happy wife."

   "DON'T EVEN TRY TO BLAME ME FOR THIS YOU SLUT!  YOU went with those men.
YOU were naked sucking on that man in the elevator.  YOU 'danced' with them
and let them touch you all over, even strip you naked in a crowded bar.  I
told you those were not my magazines, and they weren't.  You just wouldn't
listen.  Your own husband tells you the truth as far as he could, and you
just couldn't hear me.  WHORE!"

   His words stabbed my heart.  They were true!  Why hadn't I been able to
just take his word for it?  He had never given me a reason to not believe
him.  I had ruined my marriage and myself because of my own stupid desires.
Desires that I hadn't even known I had.  I hated myself so much right now.
I had torn my husband's love, ripped it out of his heart, and thrown it in
the gutter with my actions.  Not only that, but I had stomped on it and
kicked it away.  "Those magazines were not mine, they were Jim's, my bosses
son's.  He is working in my department and since I am the department head,
he works for me.  I am responsible for all things in the department.  Jim
had been bringing them in and reading them out loud to different people. 
The women in my department were offended, and after several of them came to
me in a small group, I knew that I had to put a stop to it.  At first I
just confiscated them, but he just brought in more of them.  After a bit I
had to really get tough on him.  Do you understand the position I was in? I
had to take the bosses son to task for his behavior.  I had to lean on him
and hope that the boss would understand.  I probably mishandled the whole
thing.  That is the reason I had to go into work on Monday.  My boss is
probably going to fire me for 'being mean to his only son'.  I couldn't
tell you, anybody for that matter.  I tried to keep it as quiet as I could.
His harassment of those women will have a very high cost I fear."

   OH GOD!  I hadn't really understood at all!  Ted hadn't gotten those
magazines.  He had been trying to keep his job while punishing the boss's
son for harassing coworkers.  I had been so wrong, so terribly awfully
wrong.  If I had thought I had felt bad enough, this was even more than I
could bear.

   Arriving back home, Ted wouldn't talk to me.  He moved his things into
our guest bedroom and stayed away from me, his whore wife.  I cleaned the
house and stayed out of his way, hoping that he would come around.  Days
became weeks, weeks became months.  During the third month after 'our
weekend', I realized that I hadn't had my period at all.  I was feeling
sick in the mornings, and started to gain weight.

   Going to the doctor I got the worst news I could have ever had.  "Your
pregnant Jane, congratulations!"

   I burst out in tears.  The doctor was stunned.  I had been given what
should have been happy news, and I was crying.  "I'm sorry, didn't you want
to be pregnant?  I can send you to some people who will help you, if you
need to make a decision about this pregnancy.  You only have a short time
to decide though Jane.  You will need to talk it over with the father of
the baby also, since he might have something to say about it too."

   How could I talk it over with the father of the baby when there was no
possible way that I could know who it was?  I had watched one of the tapes
from that horrible night and saw that over eight black men had used me.  I
had to know what I had been forced to do.  Eight big black men had taken me
in every way for hours.  All of that cum, no wonder I had gotten pregnant.
I had been in a sea of it for hours.

   I left the doctors office and walked aimlessly for hours.  Eventually I
went home.  Ted was already home and had a concerned look on his face when
I walked in.  "Where have you been Jane?  What's wrong?  Why are you
crying?" "Ted, I just found out that I am...  pregnant.  I have a black
man's baby in me right now.  I don't know what to do.  I am against
abortion, but a black child?  I don't know what to do about this at all.  I
have lost you and now this.  I don't want to bring a child into this world
that I may not like.  That reminds me of that night, that horrible awful
night.  But to kill it, it isn't its fault that I got knocked up.  OH GOD!
What am I going to do Ted?"

   Ted was white as a ghost as he turned and walked away from me.  I was
standing alone, so very alone, crying.  I had screwed up my life so bad.  I
couldn't believe that this wasn't all a bad dream.  When my parents and
family found out about this, well, I would be truly alone and on my own.

   I went to our bedroom, (I still thought of it as OUR bedroom) and threw
myself on the bed, sobbing for what turned out to be several hours.  Ted
had disappeared and I didn't know where he had gone.  When I finally got up
I was drained.  I had no emotion left at all.  Numbly I set to work and
made supper.  Setting the table with two places out of habit, even though I
had been eating in our bedroom since 'that' weekend.

   Ted came in and sat down at the table.  Where he had been I didn't know.
I could plainly see that he had something on his mind.  "They arrested two
men in Vegas yesterday.  Two black men.  It appears that they were filming
a rape of a white married woman, and her husband managed to get help.  Here
are their pictures.  The Vegas police would like a statement from you Jane,
if you want.  They would also like the tapes and the note they left.  I
told them it was up to you.  It's your body, your life.  Here is the number
to call.  You are supposed to ask for Detective Sergeant Johnson.  He is in
charge of the case."

   I held myself still.  Was it true, had they caught my rapists?  How did
Ted feel about that?  What did this all mean to me now?  Shaking, I looked
down at the pictures of those two men who had used and abused me in a most
sickening way.  Even though it was only a picture, I had a fearful feeling
strike me to the bone as I realized that it was them in those pictures.  My
rapists had been caught.

   What would Ted do now?  How could I explain this to him so he would
understand?  I had been raped; even though it had appeared to him that I
was a willing partner in their lustful drive.  I sat down at the table, Ted
sitting across from me just staring at me.  I could not tell what he was
thinking.  His face was inscrutable and distant.  "Ted, what are we doing?
Have I lost you as my husband?  Are you no longer my best friend, or lover?
I mean, can I, or is there, a way to fix this mess I have caused?  Is there
any hope of you loving me again?"

   This was the first time I had brought up the subject.  Ted hadn't talked
to me at all about that weekend since getting home.  His silence had been a
terrible price for me to pay.  My tears were hot on my cheeks.  I felt my
heart thudding waiting for the axe to fall on my life, as I knew it.  What
would Ted say now?  What had he been feeling and thinking all of this time?

   I looked over the table at him.  Tears!  He was crying silently.  He had
been crying for a bit because his shirt had dark spots where tears had been
hitting and falling down his chest.  I put my hand out, reaching out for
him.  He sat there, unmoving, and just cried.  My heart was burning, I
wanted so much for him to take me back and love me like he had before all
of this had happened.

   "The Detective said that they had used a 'mixer' drug on her drinks.  As
they drank and danced she never felt the effects of it.  It was a new and
different type of drug, usually used for treating certain types of clinical
depression.  Afterwards, they shot her up with a harder drug and used her.
They filmed everything so that it appeared she enjoyed what was happening
to her, even though she had no idea what was going on around her.  GOD!  I
didn't see it Jane.  They must have done the same thing to you.  I should
have seen it, I should have done something more to stop you.  This hasn't
been your fault, it was all MINE."

   "Ted, you couldn't have known, I didn't know.  I was the one who was
drinking and dancing, all you saw was your loving wife becoming a slut in
the hands of two black men.  You couldn't have know that they had drugged
me already."

   "I should have know when I saw you in the elevator giving him that
blowjob.  You have never, ever done that for me, how could I have not seen
that you had to have been under the influence of some kind of drug?"

   "Ted, even I didn't know that I had been drugged.  I was willingly doing
that to him when you saw me.  I tried to go to you when I got up, but you
had gone into our room and they forced me with them.  You had no way of
knowing.  When did the police call you?  That is how you found out about
the drugs isn't it?  Wait a minute, how did they know to call us?  I hadn't
reported it at all, and I don't think you did either, did you?"

   Ted jumped up and turned his back to me.  I saw his shoulders shaking
and heard him sob for a moment.  His voice, when it came to me, was so
distant, and soft, I almost couldn't hear him.

   "I knew the day we got home.  I called the Vegas police Department and
reported it.  They weren't too enthused with it until this other lady came
forward last week.  They knew that they had a serial rapist on their hands
at that point.  Or rather, two or more rapists."

   "How could you have known the day we got home?  You haven't talked to me
about it at all in all of this time.  You couldn't possibly have known that
they drugged me at any point."

   "I...I...watched the video's Jane.  I saw them drug you on the first
video.  I don't think that they knew the camera had caught them sticking
those needles in your arm.  Either that or they just didn't care.  From
their talking back and forth I was able to find out that the first shot was
a drug to get you high and more 'cooperative' to their use of you.  The
second drug was...it was a..."

   "What Ted?  What was the second drug?  What haven't you told me?  WHAT
WAS THE SECOND DRUG TED?"

   "Fertility, it was a fertility drug Jane.  I knew from the second day
home that you were probably pregnant.  I knew that you had been raped and
drugged and given another drug to make sure you got pregnant, the second
day we were home.  I knew it all this time and I didn't tell you, my wife,
my only true friend in the world, what I knew.  I couldn't bring myself to
talk to you about this at all.  My feelings were so fucked up.  I wanted
you to have been the slut, the whore, and the cheating wife.  I couldn't
live with the fact that you had willingly gone with them to their room. 
That you had let them use you on the dance floor and sucked them in the
elevator like a two-bit whore.  My pride had been shot through and through.
I had to have a reason to hate you for what I thought you had done to me,
to us.  I didn't know about them drugging your drink in the bar.  I thought
that you had done all of those slutty things on your own up until they had
you on the bed in the room.  I didn't find out about them drugging your
drink until last week.  Even then I had bad feelings about it.  I should
have let you know right away instead of waiting like this.  I...I...GOD, I
am so sorry Jane.  Please forgive me.  Can you forgive me for being such an
ass?"

   His voice broke up and he took his head into his hands.  My husband was
sobbing hard.  My heart went out to him in his pain.  I understood what he
must have thought, seeing me seemingly wantonly chasing after those two
black men in the bar that night.  It must have been so painful for him, not
knowing that I was drugged and had just, acted out against my true love.

   Standing I went to him and took him into my arms.  Hugging his strong
body, shaking like it was from his crying, was painful to me.  I had caused
this by my mistrust of his word on those magazines.  Those fucking
magazines.  I had actually been the 'slut-wife' of some other mans dream,
not my husbands.  Together we cried for a long time.

   Days later, after having talked to the detective in Vegas, I flew there
to testify to a court recorder and several witnesses.  The judge was very
calm and direct, but nice in his own way.  The detective ended up
apologizing to me and left a note for my husband about that also.  He
really had felt bad about hearing my Ted's story, and not believing him at
first.  I am sure at that time he thought that I was crying rape because I
had been caught by my husband fucking around.

   Flying home I had some time to think long and hard about Ted and our
marriage.  I came to a decision just as the plane landed at the airport at
home.  I was going to do everything possible to be Ted's best friend again.
I was going to try and put this whole thing behind me, and go on.

   I had also decided to carry the baby to full term and then give it up
for adoption.  My feelings on this were mixed.  I would have a constant
reminder of that night in Vegas as long as I was pregnant.  It would be
hard on Ted and myself too.  I just couldn't bring myself to terminate a
child's life because I didn't want a child from a rape.  Two wrongs didn't
make a right to my way of thinking.

   That was and is my choice though.  What others would do in my
circumstances is their own choice.  Ted supported my decision, since he too
felt similarly.  We have gone to counseling now for three months.  I am
really starting to show.  I should have the baby in about another three
months.

   We have lined up two sets of adoptive parents for the baby.  They are
great couples.  The choice of who gets the baby will be left up to Ted and
I, simply because we have so far, managed to keep the social services out
of the loop.  We will try to be as fair and even minded as we can.  Both
couples are interracially mixed, so this child will at least have somewhat
of a chance to be free of taunts about his heritage.

   Ted and I are also sleeping in the same bedroom again, together,
although our sex life is nonexistent.  I think it will come back some day
soon though, since I have felt Ted getting erections at night.  Constantly,
it seems.  Soon he will have to 'take' me and I am patiently waiting for
that moment.  I will give him all of me.  Anything he wants and more.  No
more will I resist any kind of sexual favor for my husband.  Ever.  I have
a long road ahead of me to 'make-up' for my mistakes of the past months.  I
just have to wait impatiently until he makes that move.

   If, by the time I have had the baby, Ted hasn't made his 'move', I guess
I will have to 'take' him.  I am planning on getting into shape as soon as
possible after birthing and hopefully Ted will still want me.  I got rid of
that dress.  I kept the others, since they are not really connected to that
night.  I plan on being a real slut for Ted in the privacy of our home, but
public exhibitions will never again occur with me.  I have learned a hard,
very harsh lesson and the only person who will ever see me in a slut outfit
will be my husband, Ted.

   The one thing that I will say here is, if you are thinking about some
'fun' or extra-marital 'activities' be very, very careful.  If you both
think you want it, be even more cautious.  Make sure that you have tried
everything in your power to work out any possible problems and
miscommunications.  Don't be like me and assume anything about your spouse.
After all, look what a mess I made of my marriage by what I thought my
husband wanted.  You need to be aware of each other's wants, desires, and
needs, before you go 'outside' for fun or excitement.  I will never go
'outside' of my marriage again.  I will never assume anything about my
husband either.  I will talk and question, and most importantly, LISTEN to
my husband.  My love and trust are for Ted, and Ted only from now on.