Collar My Heart
C. Stanton Leman
Chapter 5
I’d put my trust in Tanaka when I agreed to meet
Mioko and left New York with an open mind and an optimistic attitude. I’d tried
to plan for all the contingencies and “what ifs” so I copied a BSDM checklist and
a humiliation chart to a disc and printed out a hard copy of each for Mioko to
fill out along with a contract if there was a chance that she and I hit it off.
I wanted her to fill out the checklists so that I could get an accurate
understanding of all her
limits: hard, soft and everything in between. I also wanted to find out about her
various kinks.
In planning for those contingencies and “what
ifs”, I also made some alternate plans in case Mioko’s and my meeting didn’t
turn out as Tanaka had hoped and we didn’t connect. I had called Asuko’s
parents and told them I was going to be in Tokyo for a week and would like to
visit. They were ecstatic and offered to
put me up for the duration. I politely declined saying that I would be very
busy with business and would be keeping some crazy hours, but I did agree to
staying and visiting with them over the weekend. Considering the very full day
that Mioko was having so far, these arrangements would work out to both of our
advantages. I’d get to visit with my former
in-laws and Mioko would have time to reflect and fill out the checklists.
After
lunch, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth in
anticipation of my garden tour with Mioko. After finishing my ablutions, I put
the checklists in my shirt pocket.
Before I exited the bedroom door, I looked both ways before entering the
hall. I chuckled to myself Maybe
they should put a flashing yellow light and a sign that says ‘watch out for
speeding waifs’. Thankfully, there was no
speeding kimono-clad waif cruising the hallway.
I walked to the living room and Madoka told me
that Tanaka had left to see a business associate and would be back for dinner.
Mioko was changing her kimono and would be ready shortly. I told her that we
could forgo the tea ceremony, thereby allowing Mioko to dress casually[1].
Madoka wouldn’t hear of it.
I asked her, “I’m curious, Madoka, why did you
tip her over the edge?”
She
laughed and replied, “Because the poor girl was teetering on the brink like she
was walking on a razor blade ever since you insinuated performing cunnilingus
on her. All I did was put her out of her misery. Besides, you started it.”
“Guilty as charged, but I didn’t expect her
getting that worked up over a little innuendo.”
“Daniel-san, you need to remember that she’s
never been with a man. She has dreams and fantasies about all kinds of sexual
scenarios. She is totally overwhelmed by you, your looks, your manner,
everything. Her fantasy Dom and lover now has a face. You are now the focus of
all those fantasies and believe me; she may look like a tiny little girl, but
she’s definitely a woman with a healthy imagination.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said appreciatively.
“Please, Daniel-san,” Madoka said as she looked down
at her hands in her lap, “she’s awed by your dominant carriage, but she needs
to know that you can be tender, loving and caring towards her also.”
“I can see that, Madoka,” I responded. “I know
that those qualities are also needed for her to give her submission with a
joyful heart; not because she simply wants to be dominated. She can get that be
going to a club and choosing someone to scene with.”
“Sumimasan (I’m sorry, informal), Daniel-san,”
she answered, “I didn’t mean to presume you didn’t understand. I just wanted to
give you my assessment of her needs.”
“I know you didn’t, Madoka,” I assured her, “and
I appreciate your input. It is always welcome.”
Mioko made her appearance a few seconds later
dressed in a beautiful pink and periwinkle kimono with flowing chrysanthemums
and cherry blossoms with a wide, royal blue obi. I remembered Asuko telling me
a little history of the kimono and the obi. The height of the kimono fashion
was during the Edo Period[2].
The social and marital status of a woman or young girl could be determined by the
color(s) of her kimono and the width and height of her obi.
I stood as I saw her enter and as she approached
I smiled and said, “You look absolutely beautiful. You seem to bring such
beauty and character to the kimono that I can honestly say that I’ve only
sensed on a few women.”
She blushed almost as bright as her kimono,
bowed and replied, “Arigatou, Daniel-san.
Interestingly, I love to wear kimono. I’m Japanese; proud to be Japanese
and this is the traditional dress that only a Japanese woman can bring to life.
It’s strange that you say that I bring something to kimono. Let me see…”
She walked over to the bookshelf and after
looking for a moment extracted the book she was looking for saying, “Here it
is,” and turned to a page she had bookmarked at some earlier point in time. “A
Japanese writer by the name of Kondo Tomie once wrote about the kimono and I
quote: ‘If you wear kimono yourself, it's obvious that the
sleeves get in the way as soon as you do anything and that your steps are
hindered by the narrow skirt. I suppose, too, that the soul of a woman who
wears kimono is spiritually in a man's shadow as she walks behind him,
suppressing any trace of her own ego. Since such women are rare these days,
it's probably useless to hope to find anyone who truly loves to wear
kimono.’ I guess it’s just in my nature
to love to wear this garment. I have a full collection that I wear for any and
all occasions.”
With
that, she closed the book and respectfully returned it to its place on the
bookshelf. As she turned from the
bookcase to face me I said, “Mioko, you certainly bring out the spirit and
beauty of the kimono in all of its splendor.”
“Domo
arigatou, Daniel-san,” she replied with a blush. “You are too kind.”
“I
would never lie to you, Mioko,” I answered firmly but softly, “I’m only stating
the truth.”
Our
eyes met and I gave her a look that let her know that my words had a more
relevant meaning than just to her kimono. The look in her eyes told me she
understood.
“In
my heart I believe you, Daniel-san.”
Her
heart spoke through her eyes as if she had a peace in saying it. Our eyes
remained locked on one another for a few seconds, then she blinked as if to
shake herself back to reality and said, “Well, Daniel-san, it would be my
pleasure to give you a tour of our garden and perform the chado for you. I am
at your disposal,” and with that, she gave a coy smile and looked down.
“By
all means, little one,” I replied with a soft smile. So,
it seems the little woman didn’t get enough at lunch and was in the mood to
play. I’m game. So as coyly as she had spoken I replied, “”With a lovely kimono-clad
woman at my disposal, I’d be remiss if I didn’t take the opportunity to enjoy
her company.” With that, I stood and waved in the direction of the patio and
said, “Lead on, Little One.”
With
a slight bow she replied “Hai, Daniel-san,” and turned to walk outside.
We stopped momentarily to
put on our sandals then headed towards the garden path. As we walked, Mioko was
explaining about this flower and that, and she was proud when she pointed out
the cherry trees and said that her father had them planted when she was
born. She especially liked the rather
large but peaceful koi pond with its trickling stream. The sound of flowing
water over the rocks was all that was heard other than Mioko’s voice. In true
Japanese fashion, this environment brought a feeling of peace, tranquility and
contemplation.
I listened quietly while
Mioko babbled on about this and that and simply observed her. Whenever she
would look at me her eyes would brighten and she’d invariably blush and turning
her head, continued on with the tour. Before I knew it, we were standing in
front of the doorway to an elaborate, enclosed gazebo.
_________________________
When Daniel-san said he was going to his room to freshen up, I thought, Thank god! I can go change my sopping panties, wash my bad, bad pussy and change my stained kimono.
I was leisurely going
through my closet when it dawned on me to get my butt moving. Doms don’t like
to be kept waiting and here I am fussing in my closet.
I quickly decided on my
pink kimono: one of my favorites. Having chosen my kimono, I went to the
bathroom for some personal hygiene. Looking at my nude form in the mirror, I
placed my hands on my flat chest and sighed, “Why can’t I have a decent pair of
tits? I’m not greedy, even an A cup would be fine.”
I figured that I’d forgo
the bra, but I definitely needed panties. I knew for sure that my kitty would
be leaking down my thighs the minute I was next to him and looking into those
dreamy blue eyes. I suddenly realized and giggled at the thought that I was “gaga
over a gaijin.”
So I quickly slipped on a
matching lacy pink pair and started getting dressed. Once I got my obi tied, I
carefully turned it so that the bow was in the back and made my way to the
living room.
As I entered the living
room, Mama and Daniel-san were talking but stopped when they saw me enter the
room. Daniel-san said that I looked absolutely beautiful. My heart fluttered. I
felt a soothing warmth envelope me and it felt like I melted inside. Kitty
started juicing up too. My god! I thought, what’s
happening to me?
He made the comment about
me bringing character and beauty to the kimono. I was immediately reminded of a
passage I’d read and saved in a book on Japanese fashion. I went to the
bookcase and after a moment, found the book. It was easy to locate the passage
because I’d marked it for future reference and I read it to him. I wanted him
to see that a Japanese woman wearing a kimono was carrying out centuries of
submissiveness that’s been prevalent in our history. I wanted so much for him to approve of me and
see that I was submissive.
He complimented me again.
At first, I thought he was just being polite, but he made it perfectly clear
when he told me he’d never lie to me. I could see into his heart and I knew
then that he meant it and he also meant that it applied to any relationship we
might establish. My heart spoke and I simply uttered, “In my heart I believe
you, Daniel-san.”
I was surprised that it came out, but proud that it did. When he looked into my eyes, it was as if he was searching my soul and I knew from a tiny gleam that he believed me. I blinked to come to my senses and told him I was “at his disposal” in regards to the garden tour. Shit! I didn’t mean for it come out that way. It almost sounds like a whore turning a trick.
I saw an instant of surprise then a glint of lust in his eye, as he didn’t miss the meaning. He retorted with a comment about taking advantage to “enjoy my company”. Oh boy! Here we go again. Somehow pussy did the talking. Maybe I should put my foot in it to keep her quiet.
With his comment, he waved
in the direction of the garden and I meekly led the way saying, “Hai,
Daniel-san.”
Once on the garden path, I
started politely enough, but became more nervous as time went on because he
didn’t speak. He sometimes seemed like he was taking in the serenity of the
garden while at others, he was intently observing me. I’d catch him looking at
me and just blushed and looked away. I just kept babbling and kitty kept
bubbling. I was relieved when we reached the gazebo.
At least with the chado,
I’d get my mind, I mean my pussy, occupied with something non sexual.
__________________________
When we came to a stop at
the gazebo door, Mioko turned to me and looked up with a smile. She looked into
my eyes and it seemed her knees might buckle, so I reached out and held her by
the arms. I thought she might be ill and faint. When I had taken hold of her
she gave a start and closed her eyes. She appeared to be on the verge of tears
so I gently pulled her to me and held her gently and she quivered. I put my
hand behind her head and held it to my chest and just stroked the side of her
face as I held her.
It felt so strange to hold
this tiny woman. Her head came up only to about my solar plexus and she was
shaking a little. I kissed the top of her head and softly asked her, “What is
it, Little One? Are you all right? Are you ill, do you feel faint?
She moved her hands from
her sides and put them around me and hugged me tight. In a tiny, little bird of
a voice she whispered, “I’m frightened, Siren (Sir).”
“But why?” I asked. “Have
I done or said anything to make you frightened?
You needn’t be frightened of me, Mioko. I wouldn’t consciously do
anything to make you frightened of me.”
“No, Daniel-san,” she
answered. “I felt so humiliated today when I almost knocked you over because of
my clumsiness. Then, when I climaxed at lunch in front of my parents, I was
embarrassed at first, but then I felt glad inside because you could see what
effect you had on me. I just don’t want to make a mistake and you’ll reject me.
When I realized that it was time to perform the chado, I suddenly became scared
because I might make a mistake and make a fool of myself again.
“I’m frightened of myself.
Meeting you today, feeling this, this… this connection with you in my heart: my
feelings seem so overwhelming. Emotionally, mentally and, and… physically. It’s
as if I don’t have any control of what I’m feeling. My entire being has this
overwhelming need for your acceptance and approval. I want you, Daniel-san, and
I want you to want me.”
I kissed the top of her
head again and as I stroked her cheek I replied, “Oh, Mioko, but I do want you.
I feel the same heartfelt connection you do. I’m so proud of you that you can
stand here and tell me honestly what you want. All this is both a shock and
very new to you and it’s normal to be frightened, giddy, excited, and clumsy
and yes, even overwhelmed at times. All of those things are screaming at you “I
want this!” and you haven’t any idea how to cope and work through everything.
“That’s my
job, Mioko, and if you’re willing, I will help you and guide you. We’ve only
known each other for a few hours. Have a little patience and everything will be
all right. Can you trust me to alleviate your fears and help us both have
something meaningful? Are you willing to take that leap of faith and take that
journey with me?”
“Hai, Daniel-san,” she
replied as she nodded against my chest. “I’ve been on pins and needles ever
since we first met. Do you really want me, Daniel-san?”
“Yes, Mioko,” I assured
her, “I want you very much.”
My little bird hugged me
tighter and I could feel all the tension in her body release. Having reassured
her, I thought a little humor might lighten the mood so I said to her, “Don’t
you think you should get your little butt in there and make me some tea before
your father gets home? I might have to spank your tiny butt if you made the
terrible mistake of keeping a Dom waiting.”
She giggled and replied,
“Promise?”
“Don’t get bratty, Little
One.”
“Hai, Siren.”
_________________________
When we stood at the
gazebo door, I realized that I now had to perform the chado. I looked into his
eyes and I wanted him so much! All my insecurities just flooded to the surface
and I suddenly felt like falling to my knees. All the events of the day
fast-forwarded before my eyes: my clumsiness and running into him like a little
girl, losing control and my orgasm in front of my parents. And now, I have to
perform the chado. What if I make a silly mistake? I’ll lose him: I just know it!
When he grabbed me, it
felt like sparks of energy of different colors cackling in the air and tickling
at the Chi deep in my belly; my pussy tingled and my panties were flooded. I
wanted to cry. Cry for joy at feeling his touch for the first time, Joy for the
look of concern for me on his face, and yet with the joy there was the fear
that I could lose him.
He pulled me into his arms
and I tingled in the warmth of his embrace. When he kissed the top of my head,
I never wanted to leave the safety of his arms. He began to speak and just the
commanding yet soothing tone of his voice began to alleviate my fears. In a
meek and small voice, I admitted I was frightened.
He asked me if it was his fault that I was having these feelings. My god! I thought, he’s not blaming me but taking the blame onto himself!
His question moved me so
much that the floodgates of my heart opened and poured out all my fears to him.
And finally, I spoke my heart’s desire and told him I wanted him. I waited with baited breath for his response,
but there was no pause, he didn’t even hesitate. He told me he felt the same
deep connection and that he wanted me as much and that it was okay for me to
feel like I do and that I needed to have patience
When he said that he
wanted me, I thought it was all a dream and just had to ask him again if it was
true, “Do you really want me, Daniel-san?”
“… I want you very much.”
My gawd, he really, really wants me! It felt like I’d died and gone to heaven! All of the
pent up tension just seemed to evaporate into thin air and my body relaxed. I
knew he could feel it so I hugged him tighter. He probably thought that my
panic attack was now over and wanted to move on so he made a joke about
spanking me if I made the mistake and served him cold tea.
I felt a little emboldened
by his acceptance of me and sort of challenged him by jokingly saying
“Promise?”
He chastened me, but I could hear the playfulness in his voice. I can’t wait for your hands on my little butt!
Like a good little girl, I
answered, “Hai, Siren.”