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   All persons here depicted, except public figures depicted as public
figures in the background, are figments of my imagination and any
resemblance to persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

   Halloween Treats Chapter 1 It was my turn and oh how I hated it, but
then again it's just another part of raising kids.  I sat on the front
porch swing sipping my coffee and trying to figure out exactly how I was
going to accomplish this latest demand.  It was my turn to host my
daughter's school Halloween festival and I had decided that it should
include a "haunted house".  Just how was yet to be determined.  With a
little help from the guys at work, I was able to fashion a bunch portable
wall sections made out of wood and stretched black plastic.  These I took
home and assembled in the living room to create the necessary maze.  It
used the whole space and gave me a maze, with its twists and turns of
nearly 100 feet long.  Now for the scary parts within.  I had planned on
slimy vinyl streamers, the typical dry ice "boiling cauldrons", cold
"spaghetti guts" in a bowl, Jello brains, meatball "eyeballs", kool-aid
blood, and warm liver "beating hearts" as well as the screeching noises and
a few zombies (courtesy of some adults).  Everything seemed to be coming
together rather well and as I was changing into my zombie outfit the bell
rang.  Rather jolted me back to my senses as I had already changed the door
bell to the sound of a shrieking witch.  As I opened the door, there stood
a real life replica of a sasquatch and in his hands he held what looked
like a torture rack.  He stepped in an said he had wanted to be
Frankenstein but the outfit had been rented out.  He said that the rack was
to add some realism to the maze.  We found the perfect spot for it in a
little niche that back up to one of the outer walls.  He said that we
should really find someone to strap to it to add that little extra sense of
realism.  I agreed, only now to find the right volunteer.  The kids started
arriving some with and some without their parents it was really nice to see
that some of the parents cared enough to stay and help as well as
participate in the games and activities.  The kids and the adults had a
blast eating all of the weirdly shaped food and snacks as well as
participating in old games like bobbing for apples, pie eating, and a twist
with a ghost piņata.  One of the fathers had had brought an old poker table
he had converted with a spinning top for us to use in one of the games. 
Bowls were to be placed on the table, then while the participant was
blindfolded, the table was spun.  Their hands were then placed in whatever
goo was in the bowl and they guessed what it was.  Kind of a Halloween
"spin the bottle".  They were all anticipating the haunted house.  Well it
was time for the haunted house and as we made the final preparations our
"torture rack" volunteer appeared in the flimsy gauze outfit we had given
her to change into.  She had redone her makeup and she truly looked like
some trolop from the 1600's that needed punishment.  She snuck into the
maze and sasquatch helped her into position and strapped her onto the rack.
She was slightly bent over facing the maze with her behind against the
black plastic backdrop.  Everything was in place and we started the kids
through the maze in groups of three.  There was a lot of screaming and
screeches as well as numerous requests to go again.  As the maze was
completed the kids circled around in the den to watch a few Halloween
movies.  I was curious as the some of the kids had mentioned how real our
"rack" lady had sounded in her pleas for help.  I looked around and didn't
see her so I check the bathroom and bedroom to see if she was there as I
wanted to personally thank her.  She was nowhere to be found, then I heard
it, what sounded like a murmured moan.  Did we forget to unstrap her?  Was
she still in the maze?