Read my reply to Musashi in the "Learning to Drive" thread (in 1999, in rec.games.computer.ultima.dragons) for the story behind this non-story. This was a second draft (Slippery Key went through nine drafts), written in thirty minutes, and I apoligze for its questionable quality. Ultima VII: The Other Painting (no sex) by Christine Indigo, AKA Green Leafy Dragon (christineindigo@juno.com) DISCLAIMERS AND DISTRIBUTION RIGHTS: Ultima and all other characters in this story belong to Origin Systems and Richard Garriott. However, this story belongs to me. You may put this in any non-commercial archive and/or post this to any free newsgroup/forum/BBS/whatever, as long as my name, this disclaimer, and all other contents remain intact. The Avatar and her companions walked around the corner, and came to the end of the corridor. There, hanging up on the stone wall in front of them, was a large oil painting. The painting was of a tall woman standing in front of an oak and brandishing a sword. Her right foot was resting on a rock and her red hair was brushed over her left breast. She was wearing black boots, a sword belt and scabbard slung low over her hips, and a stern expression on her face. Otherwise, she was completly naked. Iolo clapped his hands over Spark's eyes. "Come on, Iolo," the Avatar said. "He's seen that one already. I found a print of it underneath his bed when we searched his house after the murder." Spark blushed crimson and scooted into the nearest dark corner. "So, this is the 'other' painting that Woodroffe did of you." Sentri smiled, leaned over toward the wall, and examined the chest of the figure in the painting. "It looks like it was quite cold in the studio when you posed for this." "It was cold, indeed. I would have frozen my nipples off if I had worn the chainmail halter and loincloth that he had originally wanted me to wear. It took me an hour to convince him to let me pose in the nude instead of...that." She shivered at the memory. "Nude, except for the boots. I insisted on the boots. I could see myself running around naked in the forest, but I couldn't see myself running around in the forest without boots on. There's too many things on the ground in the forest that would cut my feet to shreds." "Yes, we've seen, er, could see you running around in the forest naked," said Shamino. "The picture looks so much like you. But why didn't he paint in the diamond-shaped birthmark that's on your left hip? I always liked that." "Or the freckles on your shoulders," added Dupre. "Or the mole on your inner right thigh. I always thought it was cute," said Janna. Ok, that's enough silliness for one day. :-) Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo, Internet Pornographer and proud member of the -=UDIC=-