The Freshman
Copyright 2005 by EC

Chapter 10 - "One Screw-up in Life"

A storm front moved across the Mid-West the night after the Tri-
Alpha race, bringing with it wind, cold rain, and dreary skies, a 
warning that the pleasant autumn weather soon would be drawing to 
a close. Rain pelted Cecilia's dorm window as she and Jason woke 
up. The couple canceled their plans to spend the morning walking 
around the university and having breakfast off-campus. Instead 
they got dressed and after getting cleaned up, simply decided to 
have breakfast downstairs in the dorm cafeteria.

Jason was hoping for another lovemaking session with Cecilia, but 
she dismissed him and ordered him to spend the day working on his 
term paper for Burnside's class. 

"I'm gonna check your work tonight, so be ready to show me what 
you did today. I want you to get through at least four pages of 
the actual writing."

"But…I'm still taking notes…"

"Well, type out what you got so far. Then I can go over it and 
tell you what you need to do next. And…by the way, if you need to 
go to the library I want you to call me and let me know, and also 
when you think you're gonna be back."

"Is it OK if me and Ken go to the gym? I sort of wanted to go 
swimming and relax my legs from the race. And Ken's thigh is 
pretty messed up."

"I'll let you two go over there for an hour. But you'll have to 
go straight there and straight back. I don't want you messin' 
around doin' other stuff. You don't have any time for that. If 
you go, call me first."

"Yes, Cecilia."

She hugged him and gave him a warm kiss, and with that he was 
dismissed.

----------

Cecilia was supposed to study, but she took some time away from 
her scholastic duties to attend to her commitments to "Socrates' 
Mistresses". She worked on a draft for a new section of the 
group's website, editing and organizing pictures and links to 
promote the group's upcoming album. She corresponded with fans 
and directed some questions to Kimberly Lee-Dolkivna. 

After sending a draft of the web pages to Kim for review, Cecilia 
wrote an e-mail to Kim's sister Cynthia Lee concerning the 
upcoming visit by Prime Minister Dukov. Cecilia asked for advice 
concerning a topic for her own research paper. She knew that 
Cynthia Lee's Master's thesis had focused on foreign influence in 
Upper Danubia's recent election and the failed efforts of several 
multinational corporations to prevent Vladim Dukov from becoming 
Prime Minister, so she was the right person from whom to seek 
advice. 

While Cecilia was waiting for the response from Cynthia Lee, she 
received an e-mail from Kim who stated that she was satisfied 
with Cecilia's web page drafts. Kim shared some of the group's 
upcoming plans for concerts around Upper Danubia and for 
promoting the new CD. Kim then did something that showed Cecilia 
how much she truly trusted her, she sent her fan the preview file 
of the group's most recently recorded song.

The song was titled "My father's land". The song was dedicated to 
refugees worldwide, but its point of view was Danubian. The 
narration was from the daughter of a Danubian refugee, who 
returned to land in Lower Danubia once owned by her family, only 
to find it taken over by foreigners. The narrator discussed her 
hopeless situation, and the knowledge her family never could 
return to their former home.

The song was by far the most ambitious musical project ever 
attempted by "Socrates' Mistresses", with very complicated female 
vocals, a mix of modern and traditional instruments, and the 
quiet chanting of the male musicians as part of the background 
music. Cecilia was dumbstruck at the song's very sad beauty. She 
knew right away that "My father's land" had all the makings of a 
truly great piece of music. 

Cecilia's thoughts drifted to her past and the lands of her own 
ancestors. She wondered what the concept of "home" possibly could 
mean to her. Was "home" in Illinois, where she had her dorm room 
and her studies? Was it New Jersey, where she grew up and her 
estranged family lived? Was it the Dominican Republic, where her 
grandparents still lived? Or was it perhaps somewhere further 
back, in a land of her more distant ancestors? But then, if so, 
which ancestors? The ancestors from Spain? The ancestors from 
Africa? The ancestors from the Caribbean? What was "home" to 
Cecilia Sanchez?

The flash of an incoming e-mail message shook Cecilia out of her 
mental wanderings. It was Cynthia Lee, with a note that signaled 
the end of the dilemma over choosing a topic to research. Cynthia 
suggested examining the reasons why Prime Minister Dukov had 
decided to withdraw Upper Danubia's application to join the 
European Union. It was a currently important topic with plenty of 
historical background and perfect for Burnside's class. Kim's 
sister included a list of recommended reading, and in doing so 
saved Cecilia days of looking up information on the Internet and 
in the library.

As soon as she saved the list of readings to a floppy disk, 
Cecilia called Jason. He would accompany her to the library, so 
she could supervise his time there, and, more importantly, to 
give her an extra set of arms to carry books back to her room. 
Jason agreed to drop his plans and go without saying anything, 
much to her satisfaction. He was learning to obey her properly. 
That was good.

That night, as she slowly fell asleep under to comforting 
caresses of her boyfriend's hands, Cecilia felt better about her 
life than she had felt since coming to the university. Everything 
seemed to have fallen into place for her. She faced a relatively 
easy time doing her term paper, Jason was there for her, she had 
$ 1,150 in purchases coming her way, there was her work for 
"Socrates' Mistresses"…yes it all seemed to be working out. 

Cecilia's confidence in life was very short-lived. The following 
day she made a mistake that would seriously disrupt the 
tranquility of her semester and come very close to ending her 
entire university career.

----------

Jason's modeling schedule shifted to the afternoon classes. 
During the mornings he was replaced by a female model, who, 
ironically enough, was the young athlete who nearly tied the Tri-
Alpha 10-K female title with Lisa. She had an attractive figure 
for anyone who enjoyed looking at thin, muscular women. She was 
the perfect picture of physical fitness, a detail that Cecilia 
found erotic.

The RA left the art class somewhat distracted. She went to 
Burnside's office to discuss her research topic and present a 
list of books she had checked out the day before. Burnside took 
the list and logged onto her computer, to see if there were any 
other books and research articles she wanted Cecilia to add to 
her project. The professor logged on, looked up a list of 
articles, and told Cecilia to sit at the computer and write down 
several titles.

As Cecilia started copying titles and reference numbers, 
Burnside's pager went off. She glanced at the message and excused 
herself.

"I just got a delivery in the main office and I have to sign for 
it. I'll let you stay here and finish copying. Don't leave until 
I get back, and don't open any other files in the computer."

Cecilia finished copying the article titles and was just about to 
log-off when she noticed a desktop icon with the university logo 
titled "Examination Drafts". Out of curiosity she clicked on it 
and opened it. Inside the folder she noticed the names of several 
tests, including one that interested her, "Econ147Midterm01". 
Curious to see if the midterm for the Introduction to the Theory 
of Economics course would be the same as it had been the previous 
year, Cecilia clicked on the icon. A dialogue box came up.

"Click yes to continue."

Cecilia clicked "yes", and brought up the midterm draft, along 
with another dialogue box.

"Click yes to log your account."

Cecilia clicked "no", but the mid-term came up anyway. It turned 
out the test would have completely new questions, but keep the 
general format it had the previous year. Her curiosity satisfied 
she closed the file, and got another dialogue box.

"Click yes to exit".

The dialogue box "Click yes to log your account" came up a second 
time, but again Cecilia clicked "no". She closed the examination 
folder and returned to the list of the professor's research 
recommendations.

Burnside returned with a couple of certified envelopes. She laid 
them on her desk and instructed the student to help her take some 
supplies to the upcoming lecture.

----------

Wednesday morning Cecilia's daily routine was interrupted when 
the dorm director knocked on her door.

"Cecilia, I just got a call from Professor Burnside. She wants 
you to go over to her office immediately."

"But what about my morning classes?"

"I don't know. Whatever it is that Dr. Burnside wants, it sounds 
kinda serious. I think she's more worried about getting you over 
to her office than about your other classes."

A prickly feeling of fear crept up Cecilia's back. Obviously 
something was very wrong. That became even more evident when the 
dorm director accompanied his RA to the Economics Building. It 
turned out Burnside had asked him to escort the student directly 
to her office.

Cecilia's boss departed as soon as his employee was safely 
deposited at Burnside's door. The professor's expression was not 
reassuring. Her face reflected a mixture of anger and worry. As 
soon as the door to the office was closed, Burnside got right to 
the point.

"Alright. I have a question for you and you'd better damn well 
answer me honestly. When you were on my computer the day before 
yesterday, did you open any files?"

Cecilia thought for a second, and then remembered the midterm 
draft. She had not thought looking at the midterm was any big 
deal, given that she was no longer a student in the class and 
already had taken the test the year before. It was obvious; 
however, there was indeed a problem.

"I sorta…took a look…at the midterm file for the Theory class, 
Dr. Burnside, you know…'cause I was curious to see if it 
was…like…like last year."

"OK. That answers one question. Now, what did I tell you about 
opening any files on the computer?"

"I wasn't 'sposed to do it, Dr. Burnside."

"That's right. You disobeyed a direct order. Now for the other 
question that interests me. Why did you open that file? What was 
in there that you felt you needed to see?"

"I...it…I was just curious, to see if it was like last year."

"Oh really? Just curious? That's it, just curious?"

"Honest, I was just curious…"

"My God! Just curious! You're trying to tell me that you opened a 
test file because you were 'curious'? Do you have any idea how 
lame that sounds?"

"Dr. Burnside, it's true…I was just curious…honest."

With that Burnside picked up a logbook and an ominous-looking 
folder with a computer printout. She let out an exasperated sigh.

"I can't believe this! You're claiming you accessed an official 
test file because you were curious!" 

Burnside looked hard at Cecilia. She realized her student still 
did not recognize the seriousness of the situation. She handed 
Cecilia a memo sent to her office late Tuesday night.

"Here. Read this. Then I'll tell you the rest of it." Cecilia 
took the letter and read: 

Dr. Burnside:

The university examination tracking system has detected a user 
violation on computer ECON748a, which our records indicate is 
assigned to your office. Last Monday, at 12:47 p.m. our records 
indicate there was an un-logged access to examination file 88382-
f. You are reminded that an un-logged access to an exam file is a 
violation of Section 3, clause B-3 of your contract with this 
university.

Because examination 88382-f is compromised, the department 
chairman's office directs you to completely remove the file and 
all preceding drafts from computer ECON748a. Furthermore, you are 
directed to prepare a statement fully detailing any and all 
knowledge you have concerning the aforementioned violation of 
your contract and of this department's examination security 
policy. Upon completing your statement you will submit it for 
review by the University Ethics Committee for Tenured 
Instructors.

Signed:

Richard Baker – Ph.D.
Acting Chairman – Department of Economic Studies

Cecilia's hands shook as she handed back the letter. She couldn't 
look Burnside in the face. The professor continued in a tone of 
quiet rage:

"The university has a very strict policy for monitoring 
examination files kept in the campus network. The reason is quite 
simple, if a student or anyone else tries to access a file to 
steal it, we find out about it right away. That's why we haven't 
had any tests stolen for over three years. There have been all 
kinds of efforts to hack into our system, but we always catch 
them." 

Burnside angrily put the papers back in their folder and 
continued. "I don't know what to say to you. I never would have 
suspected that you'd pull something like this. I trusted you, and 
obviously trusting you was a big mistake."

"But I didn't copy anything! I just looked at some of the 
questions! I…was just…curious!"

Burnside took a deep breath, still struggling to control her 
temper.

"Alright. On that I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, because 
the computer log doesn't indicate you copied or downloaded any 
text. Because no text was copied, I think we can avoid a criminal 
prosecution over this, although you might have to consent to an 
electronic search of you personal computer. But…you will have to 
understand that at the very least you're facing disciplinary 
action under the Student Code of Ethics."

A very sick feeling swept over Cecilia. A possible criminal 
prosecution? A search of her computer? Definite disciplinary 
action? Burnside's next words only made the student feel worse.

"I need you to type up a statement that describes, in detail, the 
entire incident from your point of view. I need you to include 
what your reasoning was when you opened the file, what you 
remember seeing, when you closed it, and what you did afterwards. 
I need it as detailed as possible, because the Department of 
Economic Studies Ethics Committee needs to check your 
recollection against the electronic log. It will be a sworn 
statement, and will be entered into evidence."

"But…what…what's gonna happen, Dr. Burnside?"

"I don't know, Cecilia. I don't know what's going to happen, 
except that you'll go before an official hearing to determine how 
the university is going to deal with you. You're screwed, but I 
won't know how badly you're screwed until we go before the ethics 
committee. I'll try to put the best face on this I can, but I can 
tell you the university isn't going to be happy about this, not 
with either of us. Now start typing."

Cecilia had one final question, the answer to which she already 
knew, but still, she had to hear it.

"Dr. Burnside, am I gonna get to go to my other classes? I'm 
kinda worried about the midterms…"

"No, you're not going to any other classes, not 'till we go 
before the ethics committee. As of now you're officially 
suspended, and you're not allowed to be anywhere on campus 
unescorted. You're going to have to stay here in this office this 
morning. When I teach, you'll have to stay out in the reception 
area in the sight of the secretary. If the ethics committee 
decides to expel you, I'll make arrangements to have someone from 
the department help you get your stuff out of Huntington Hall. I 
think I owe you that much."

Cecilia stood immobilized from shock. Burnside's sour voice 
snapped.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Sit your butt down and type out 
your explanation."

As Cecilia sadly sat typing, Burnside called her co-workers who 
served on the ethics committee. She requested an emergency 
hearing, since it was important to resolve Cecilia's situation as 
quickly as possible. She was enormously relieved when the ethics 
committee chairman responded and agreed to hold a hearing at 6:00 
that evening. Whatever happened to Cecilia, at least her 
situation would be resolved by nightfall. Either she could go 
back to her dorm room and return to her normal life, or she would 
have to go to a motel, but either way it would be settled.

Burnside managed to calm her temper. As angry as she was with 
Cecilia, the professor still felt responsible for her well being 
and success. The priority now was to salvage the student's 
career, because she was well aware that to expel her from the 
university probably would end her life. At all costs, Burnside 
had to do what she could to convince the ethics panel not to kick 
Cecilia out of the university. 

Cecilia got about halfway through a page-long explanation when 
she stopped. She put her head down into her hands, as tears 
started dripping down her cheeks. It's over…she kept thinking to 
herself…it's all over.

Burnside glanced at the student. She doubted that the ethics 
panel actually would expel Cecilia from the university if that 
wasn't what her professor wanted. More likely she would be placed 
on probation, but it would be a close call either way. Burnside 
said nothing to reassure the young woman, because life had taught 
her to be pessimistic. She did not want to give Cecilia any false 
hope, unless she was absolutely sure the ethics panel would 
refrain from imposing the maximum penalty.

"Cecilia, if you're going to just sit there crying, then you 
might as well go back to your room and change into some decent 
clothing. You and I have a hearing scheduled for 6:00 tonight and 
I want you to be presentable. I'll have Dr. Halsey's TA escort 
you back to your room."

The walk back to the dorm was absolutely humiliating. Cecilia 
knew Halsey's arrogant TA and the two women totally hated each 
other. Having to be escorted back to her room clearly indicated 
the scholarship student was in trouble, a fact that no doubt 
would be a source of gossip and speculation throughout the 
department over the next few days. The TA smirked as she walked 
back to the dorm alongside the quiet Dominican. To make matters 
worse, she insisted on going into the dorm room while she changed 
her clothes.

As they stood in her room, Cecilia asked: "Could you at least 
turn away while I get undressed?"

"No. I'm told to watch you and that's what I'm gonna do."

Cecilia stripped down to her thong; cringing at the thought of a 
woman she intensely disliked studying her bare figure. She 
changed into a light-colored dress she had bought Monday night as 
part of her wardrobe expansion from the gift certificates given 
to her by her boss. She sighed, wondering if the next time she 
entered this room would be the last time, to take her things off 
campus. 

"OK. I guess we can head back."

After Cecilia returned to Burnside's office, she managed to 
finish her statement and handed the disk to her professor. 
Burnside took it, opened and reviewed the file, and secretly 
deleted the sentence in which Cecilia mentioned that she had been 
told not to open any files. Burnside had every intention of 
settling the issue with her student later on, but the priority of 
the moment was to get her past the committee hearing.

Cecilia spent the longest afternoon of her life sitting in the 
Economic Department's reception area while Burnside taught her 
classes. TA's and students entered and left the office, all 
curious at seeing her sitting well dressed, quiet, and miserable 
in the waiting area of the Economics Department. The waiting gave 
her time to think about how bleak her situation had become, all 
because of a single mistake.

How quickly it all had ended for her! How easily everything she 
had struggled for had been swept away! All it took was just two 
minutes of curiosity and stupidity, just one dumb act, to destroy 
all her ambitions! Her life was over, because she couldn't see 
how she could recover from this disaster. There would be no going 
home. She had no home to go to. There was no way she could face 
her family after this failure; so New Jersey was no an option. 
Nor was there any way she would be able to face Jason. She would 
have to leave without his knowing, and then write him a letter 
giving him a partial explanation about her departure. Then she 
would disappear from his life.

For the first time in several years, Cecilia contemplated her own 
death. Without her studies, she had no future, and if she had no 
future, there was no point in staying alive. She wondered if she 
could work up the nerve to commit suicide, and if so, how she 
would carry it out. 

Her thoughts drifted to her hero Kimberly Lee. Yes, Kim was 
another person to whom she owed an explanation…

Finally, at about 5:00 p.m., Burnside called Cecilia back into 
her office. 

"Now, I'll tell you what's happening and what I hope to 
accomplish tonight. The first thing that I'll let you know is 
that I'm really pissed at you. Among other things, I'll have to 
re-write the entire mid-term, and I don't appreciate that. 
Second, I want you to understand that if you had just done what I 
told you to do, or at least asked me before clicking on that 
file, none of this would be happening. You understand that, 
right?"

"Yes, Dr. Burnside. I understand."

"The next thing I want you to understand is that between now and 
7:00 tonight, I'll have one priority on my mind, and that's 
keeping you enrolled. No matter what I say to that committee, you 
are not to contradict me. Do you understand?"

Cecilia looked up Burnside with teary eyes and nodded. Burnside's 
expression bore into the miserable student.

"I want you to understand that what I plan to do is to try to 
convince the ethics committee to defer your punishment back to 
me. I'll settle matters with you afterwards, which is going to be 
part of my argument to the panel that you shouldn't be expelled 
or prosecuted. You'll be punished, but we'll do it in private and 
it'll stay out of your student records."

Cecilia wondered what on earth Burnside meant by the comment 
"you'll be punished, but we'll do it in private". She remembered 
the rumors, those weird stories about the whippings. Her hands 
shook. Was it possible…?

"Before we head to the hearing room, I want you to take a look at 
this and sign it. You are responsible for honoring this agreement 
if I manage to keep you from getting expelled."

Cecilia read:

I, __________, admit to having accessed an active course 
examination file on __________ without authorization from either 
my professor, Dr. Ruth Burnside, or anyone else associated with 
the Department of Economic Studies. I fully understand that 
unauthorized access of an active examination file is grounds for 
immediate expulsion from this university under the student code 
of ethics. I also understand that an unauthorized access of an 
active university examination file for the purpose of re-
distribution is a misdemeanor offence under the laws of this 
state and is punishable by 90 days in jail and/or a $ 5,000 fine.

In lieu of disciplinary action from the university 
administration, I, __________, freely and willingly choose to 
accept the disciplinary alternative offered by my professor, Dr. 
Burnside. I understand that upon completion of the disciplinary 
alternative to Dr. Burnside's satisfaction, I will continue my 
coursework and no further action will be taken against me.

Signed ___________.

----------

A few minutes later Cecilia and Burnside stood before three very 
stern-looking senior professors. Cecilia recognized two of them 
from the Department of Economic Studies. The third panel member 
was a female professor from the Business School. As severe as 
Ruth Burnside might have seemed to Cecilia, if anything, the 
three in front of her looked even worse. Burnside's usual direct 
and confident self-demeanor was a bit toned down in the hearing, 
given the uncomfortable task she had in trying to convince them 
to let her student stay enrolled.

Burnside directed Cecilia to present her statement to the 
committee. She signed it in the presence of the committee members 
who each initialed the bottom of the document. There was a 
reading of the computer log, and the conclusion that it matched 
Cecilia's statement. The director of the committee then spoke to 
Burnside.

"Ruth, what's your interpretation of Ms. Sanchez's motives?"

"As odd as this sounds, I think she's telling the truth. The 
computer log doesn't show the downloading of any text, which to 
me would have indicated she had some other purpose for accessing 
the file. She says it was just curiosity, and I think that's what 
it was."

"Do you think she was aware of the serious consequences of her 
actions?"

"No, of course she wasn't. And that was partially my fault, 
because I didn't say anything about not opening the test files. I 
just assumed she wouldn't."

"You assumed. Ruth, you can't make such assumptions! That 
sloppiness of thinking is unacceptable, especially from someone 
with your standing in the department! You're at fault then, for 
leaving those files unsecured! Do you understand that?"

"Yes, I understand that. I accept blame for leaving my files 
unsecured. I am willing to accept my part of the responsibility 
for this incident, because I did not secure the contents of my 
computer. Ms. Sanchez accessed the file in large part due to my 
own negligence."

The female member of the panel spoke.

"Well Ruth, perhaps it is a noble thing you are trying to 
accomplish, but I suspect your efforts to accept blame and keep 
your student enrolled are being misdirected. To me it seems that 
Ms. Sanchez has proven herself untrustworthy, and to be honest, I 
feel she's taking the place of someone else who could bring to 
this university a better character. The fact that you left 
examination files unsecured is a separate issue, but I don't feel 
that means that Ms. Sanchez should not suffer the consequences of 
her actions."

"I agree with you. Ms. Sanchez should suffer the consequences of 
her actions. But I don't think those consequences should entail 
ruining her life. My intention is not to let her off, but instead 
make this a learning experience for her. I ask you to remember 
that outside this incident, she has been an exemplary student. 
Should we condemn her for a single mistake, however serious that 
mistake may have been?"

The chairman of the committee spoke to Cecilia:

"Young lady, I'd like to ask you something. How do you feel about 
this? What lessons do you think you might take away from this 
hearing?"

"Sir, all I can say is that I really messed up. I don't know. 
Maybe I deserve to get kicked out, 'cause of all the trouble I 
caused for Dr. Burnside. But, no matter what, I do wanna say 
'thank you' to Dr. Burnside for at least trying to help me, and 
that…I'm sorry for what I did."

"If this committee decides to refer your discipline back to 
Professor Burnside, would you find that acceptable?"

"Yes sir. I'd do whatever she tells me."

"Then…" the director faced the representative from the Business 
School, "…Brenda, I'm going to disagree with you on this. I think 
the interests of Ms. Sanchez and the university are better served 
by keeping her enrolled and deferring the matter back to Ruth. 
Bob, what do you think?"

"Let Ruth handle it. That's my vote. Brenda?"

"I'm dissenting. I think this young woman violated the trust of 
the university and of a faculty member. She should be made into 
an example for other students, and I would like that comment 
recorded in the minutes of this meeting."

"Very well, Brenda, your concerns will be noted. Ruth, this panel 
is voting two to one to allow Cecilia Sanchez to remain enrolled 
as a student in the Department of Economic Studies. I am 
recommending she be placed on probation for the rest of the 
semester and will hold you personally accountable for her 
behavior from this point forward. As of this moment the 
suspension against her is removed and she will be allowed to 
return to her classes as of tomorrow morning."

"Very well. For the record I want to express my deep appreciation 
to this committee for your consideration, and also for meeting on 
such short notice to resolve my student's standing."

Burnside turned to leave, but Cecilia was so stunned that she 
couldn't even react. The professor touched her arm.

"Cecilia, let's go. I need to talk to you in private."

Cecilia quietly followed Burnside down the stairs, not completely 
sure what exactly had been decided by the committee. She was too 
scared to ask or say anything. Once in the office, the older 
woman closed the door.

"Cecilia, do you understand what just happened?"

"I…I'm not gonna get kicked out?"

"Sort of. What the committee did was to make me responsible for 
deciding about your continued enrollment. Obviously it's my 
intention that you stay enrolled. It's my intention that you keep 
your scholarship and you get your degree. It's also my intention 
that you go back to your room with a lesson from tonight. I 
believe that everyone is entitled to one screw-up. You've just 
had your allotted screw-up, and it was a pretty big one."

"Dr. Burnside, what's gonna happen to you?"

"I'll get a written reprimand for leaving examination files 
unsecured. It'll stay in my file for a year and then get pulled 
out. I can't get promoted until that paper's out of my file, but 
that's no big deal. A year's not that long."

Cecilia said nothing. Burnside put the committee papers on her 
desk, except the paper Cecilia had signed immediately before the 
committee hearing.

"By the way, you understand that I still have to punish you?"

"But…I thought that…"

"Cecilia, what the committee did was to defer your punishment 
back to me. You're still getting punished for what you did. It's 
just that I'm doing it, not them, and the reason I'm doing it is 
so it won't go into your academic record. But you placed my 
career in jeopardy, and you're going to pay for that. That's why 
I had you sign that paper. The first part of your punishment is 
going to be here in this office in a couple of minutes. The last 
weekend in October will be your second installment, which is when 
I'll punish you again and have you serve as a hostess at my 
annual Halloween Party. That'll be it, assuming you don't screw 
up again."

Burnside took off her jacket and draped it over the back of her 
chair. Cecilia looked at her in terror, realizing…

"Get undressed. Get everything off, right now. Fold up your dress 
and put it on that chair. Then put your underwear on top and put 
your shoes underneath."

"Dr. Burnside, please…couldn't you just do it over my clothes?"

"Of course I'm not punishing you over your clothes! Now start 
stripping! If I have to do it for you then I'll really give you 
something to cry about!"

Her heart pounding, Cecilia reluctantly pulled the dress over her 
head. She fumbled with her bra and pushed her thong to her 
ankles, then stood in front of Burnside, looking away and trying 
to cover herself with her hands. The professor sharply smacked 
her hands away from her body.

"There will be no false modesty from you. I'm going to be seeing 
plenty of you next month, so you'd better get used to it. Now 
stand up straight and look at me."

Cecilia stood up straight, as tears continued to flow down her 
cheeks.

"This is the way I do things. My feeling is that if you screw up, 
you have to suffer for it. I believe in strict discipline, but 
don't believe in wreaking people's lives. There is an issue for 
us to settle, but we're settling it in private. That's what you 
agreed to, and it's what the ethics committee agreed to. Do you 
understand me?"

"Y…yes…Dr Burnside, I…I understand."

With that Burnside sat down on her office sofa. Cecilia 
reluctantly approached her, waiting for instructions. The 
professor reached up, grabbed her wrist, and pulled the 
trembling, naked student across her lap.

"Move forward a bit…good…now turn your butt up and spread your 
legs."

As she complied, Cecilia felt the cool air of the office gently 
blow against her exposed vagina and bottom-hole. She felt 
completely helpless and exposed, lying at the mercy of her 
professor. There was irony in the situation: Burnside had saved 
Cecilia's ass, and now she was going to spank it.

Burnside rested her hand on Cecilia's left bottom-cheek, gently 
caressing the mound of tender skin and her fingertips resting in 
the dark sensitive area in between. 

"This is going to hurt, and we're going to be at it for a while. 
Until I'm finished, I expect you to keep your bottom relaxed and 
turned up. I expect you to keep your hands in front of you and 
your feet down. If you tighten your bottom by tensing up your 
muscles, I'll warn you by running my finger up the middle. You 
will relax immediately. If you disobey me, I am not going to tire 
my hand out spanking a tensed up bottom. I've got a cane behind 
my desk and I'll just finish up with that instead. If you try to 
cover yourself with your hands, we'll switch to the cane right 
away. If you want to avoid the cane, you'll keep your butt 
relaxed and your hands away until I'm done. Do you understand 
me?"

"Y…yes…I understand."

Burnside caressed Cecilia's bottom a few more times, enjoying the 
sight and feel of her victim's soft dark skin. Finally she lifted 
her hand and delivered a very sharp SMACK to Cecilia's right 
bottom-cheek. The student squealed, more from shock than anything 
else, at the force of the blow. She would discover that Ruth 
Burnside, although in her late 30's, was physically fit and very 
strong from having worked out all her life. She also had plenty 
of endurance in her arms. An over the lap spanking from Ruth 
Burnside was a very serious matter and a long, painful 
experience. 

Burnside had thought about using the cane on Cecilia, but decided 
to spank her instead. She wanted the experience to be humiliating 
for the student and drag it out as long as possible, possibly as 
long as an hour. Having the naked girl over her lap also gave 
Burnside a feeling of intimate control over her, and she 
thoroughly enjoyed the sensation of Cecilia's body squirming over 
her thighs and the bare skin of her bottom against the palm of 
her hand.

SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!… Burnside spanked slowly, spacing the 
smacks about 5 seconds apart to allow Cecilia feel the full 
effect of each swat. She spanked on alternate sides, covering her 
entire bottom with painful, stinging marks. Cecilia struggled to 
keep her bottom turned up and clasped her hands to keep them from 
trying to reach back and protect her backside. Tears were running 
down her cheeks, but they were not tears resulting from the 
spanking itself. She was crying over the entire traumatic day, of 
which the physical punishment was the final painful episode.

Every few minutes Burnside paused from spanking to pass her hand 
over her student's warming backside and enjoy the feel of her 
swollen skin. As much as she wanted to fondle and massage the 
tender area between Cecilia's legs, she refrained from doing so. 
Burnside found Cecilia quite attractive, but struggled to control 
her own sexual desires with her quiet victim.

SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!… As the pain continued to worsen, Cecilia 
struggled to avoid crying out loud. There was nothing she could 
do about the tears flowing down her cheeks, but she was 
determined to show as much courage as possible and not let 
Burnside hear any crying. Only once did she tense up, the muscles 
in her bottom tightening against Burnside's hand. As she had 
mentioned before starting, Burnside ran her index finger up the 
middle of Cecilia's bottom as a warning. Terrified at the thought 
of the cane, the student managed to relax her bottom and the 
spanking continued.

The young woman's emotions were going through turmoil as she 
fought her instincts and tried to stay in position for the next 
swat. She did not resent being punished in this manner, because 
the alternative was expulsion and having her life ruined. If 
anything, the sharp pain burning into her backside was a more of 
a relief. All day she had felt horribly guilty over the trouble 
she had caused Burnside, and had wondered how to make it up to 
the professor. Well, now she didn't have to worry about that 
anymore. She was receiving the needed punishment, the intensity 
of which was driving away the guilt. The pain in her bottom was 
cleansing her soul…she felt this was what she needed. No, she 
would make no effort to avoid the swats or try to cover herself. 
It wasn't the fear of the cane that motivated Cecilia to stay in 
position; it was the feeling of needing to redeem herself by 
pleasing the professor and submitting to her discipline.

Burnside's anger slowly began to subside as she belabored the 
silent student. She was pleased that Cecilia continued to quietly 
lie across her lap, stoically accepting the punishment she had so 
obviously earned. She also enjoyed what she was doing; enjoying 
he sight of the attractive naked girl as her bottom jiggled and 
reddened under the continuing barrage of harsh slaps. She loved 
the feel of the soft skin and resilient flesh each time her hand 
made contact, and the weight of her body as she lay in intimate 
contact with the professor's thighs. 

As the spanking continued, Burnside became more and more aroused. 
Punishment always gave the woman intense sexual gratification, 
whether it was punishing a student such as Cecilia, or punishing 
one of her many lovers. The sight of a bare, badly marked up 
bottom and the teary face of a person being disciplined gave her 
intense sexual joy that nothing else could give her. 

SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!… As brave as she was, it was becoming 
harder and harder for Cecilia to stay in position. She couldn't 
believe how strong Burnside was, nor how much endurance her arm 
had. The minutes dragged by and the slow rhythm of the spanking 
did not change. 15 minutes....20 minutes...25 minutes...30 
minutes... The experience was as severe as a paddling; with 
Cecilia's bottom becoming swollen and quite red. Perhaps this was 
just an over-the-lap hand spanking, but the strength in the 
professor's arm ensured that Cecilia would feel it for a couple 
of days and sit uncomfortably in class on Thursday. 

Cecilia couldn't hold out any longer. After about 35 minutes of 
severe spanking, she began crying. Crying was the one thing she 
desperately had wanted to avoid, but Burnside was not about to 
grant her that desire. Breaking the student was an important part 
of the punishment, and finally, after more than a half an hour of 
non-stop pain, the Dominican did break. As the painful slaps 
continued to land on her swollen bottom, Cecilia's body jerked 
from crying and her sobs filled the room, much to Burnside's 
satisfaction.

Cecilia buried her face in her hands as she lay crying. Burnside 
decided to wind down the spanking, because Cecilia finally was 
doing what she needed to do, cry. She was releasing the guilt and 
tension built up throughout the day's traumatic events, something 
the professor felt was necessary before the student could go back 
to her room. 

Burnside stopped spanking continuously and began spanking much 
more slowly. She delivered four sharp slaps on alternate bottom-
cheeks, then gently massaged the swollen area for a few seconds 
before delivering four more slaps. Burnside began lengthening the 
breaks between slaps as she enjoyed caressing her student's 
suffering bottom. Cecilia continued to cry, but now she felt 
enormously relieved, especially after Burnside delivered her 
final swats and sat quietly as the young woman continued to cry 
over her lap. 

For several minutes Burnside did nothing, simply waiting with a 
re-assuring hand resting on the student's back while she 
continued to cry. Cecilia could take the time she needed to cry 
it out. When she had recovered enough to stand up, things would 
be right between the student and her professor. The anger and 
guilt from the day would stay here in this office. Tomorrow would 
be a new day, a new beginning, and a new opportunity for Cecilia 
to move ahead with her life.

Cecilia's crying subsided about 10 minutes after Burnside 
finished spanking her. Burnside motioned her to get up.

"Come-on, we're done. I want you to get back to Huntington Hall 
at a decent hour so you can get ready for tomorrow."

Cecilia slowly stood up and sadly looked back at the professor. 
Already Burnside was putting her dark jacket back on. Cecilia 
reluctantly reached for her thong and slipped it over her very 
sore bottom. She put on her dress, not worrying about fiddling 
with her bra. She shoved the bra in her purse. Again she looked 
over at the professor, who was straightening the papers on her 
desk. 

Cecilia wanted to say something to Burnside, but wasn't sure 
what. Finally a question popped into her mind.

"Dr. Burnside?"

"Yes, Cecilia?"

"How come you didn't tell the committee that I…that you…told me 
'don't open no files?' I mean like…that you didn't say anything 
about it…'cause you did."

"I didn't mention that because I had one thing on my mind at that 
meeting. I wanted to save your ass, Cecilia. That's what I was 
worried about. I probably could've avoided the write-up if I had 
mentioned what I said to you about not opening files, but then 
you would've gotten kicked out for sure."

"And you don't care…I mean…about yourself?"

"Of course I care about myself. I'm not happy about what 
happened. I'm still pissed about it. But I didn't want to see you 
on a bus heading back to New Jersey."

"I wouldn't have gone back there, Dr. Burnside. I couldn't of. I 
would've just…tried to disappear."

"I figured as much. I could see it in your eyes, when I came back 
from class and saw you sitting there in the receptionist's office 
with that dead look on your face. That's why I thought saving 
your ass was more important than avoiding a write-up. As for the 
write-up, I'll get over it. A year from now that'll be out of my 
file and it'll be like none of it ever happened."

Cecilia nodded, and with all her effort managed not to start 
crying again. She realized something important, that Burnside 
cared about her. She was cruel and unpleasant, but at the same 
time she actually cared about Cecilia and wanted the best out of 
life for her. In spite of the pain coming from her still 
throbbing bottom, the knowledge of knowing that her professor 
actually cared about her somehow seemed to make the entire night 
worth it.

"Good night, Dr. Burnside."

"Good night, Cecilia. Remember, it'll be bright and early 
tomorrow. You've got a day of catching up to do."

----------

Upon returning to the dorm, Cecilia called Jason and told him to 
get dressed and be ready to be escorted back to her room. Once 
inside she hugged him and held onto him for a long time, wanting 
reassurance that he still was there for her and that she would 
not have to leave him. To have him safely in her arms, after 
coming so close to having him stripped away from her along with 
all of the other parts of her life!

Jason was deeply puzzled by his girlfriend's odd and very 
affectionate behavior, but only much later would he get an answer 
from her about what had happened. Cecilia needed him, but she 
needed to have a relationship in which she would not display any 
of her weaknesses. He knew that she had just suffered a crisis in 
her life, but he knew better than to inquire what that crisis had 
been. What she needed was for him to be there and hold her, not 
to ask a bunch of questions. He didn't need to know why; he just 
needed to comfort her.

She turned out the light and undressed him, and then herself. She 
would have to skip her normal massage, given that her bottom was 
too sore and she did not want him to see how red it was from her 
punishment. Instead she told him to lie down on her bed on his 
back. In the darkness she massaged his chest and finally his 
penis until he was hard and ready to meet her desires. She put a 
condom on him and lowered herself to satisfy her need for sex. 

The pain from her spanking returned as she pressed down on her 
bottom and rocked back and forth over his pulsating organ. 
Cecilia was shocked to discover that the pain from her bottom and 
the memory of her harsh experience over Burnside's lap aroused 
her tremendously. She had one of the best orgasms of her life 
that night, as she re-lived the harsh, scary experience and 
enjoyed the exquisite feel of her lover inside her and the 
pressure against her sore backside as she moved back and forth 
over his thighs.

She had learned what it was to combine intense pain and intense 
pleasure for a truly great sexual experience. That was yet 
another lesson about life given to her that night by Ruth 
Burnside.