The Freshman Copyright 2005 by EC Chapter 10 - "One Screw-up in Life" A storm front moved across the Mid-West the night after the Tri- Alpha race, bringing with it wind, cold rain, and dreary skies, a warning that the pleasant autumn weather soon would be drawing to a close. Rain pelted Cecilia's dorm window as she and Jason woke up. The couple canceled their plans to spend the morning walking around the university and having breakfast off-campus. Instead they got dressed and after getting cleaned up, simply decided to have breakfast downstairs in the dorm cafeteria. Jason was hoping for another lovemaking session with Cecilia, but she dismissed him and ordered him to spend the day working on his term paper for Burnside's class. "I'm gonna check your work tonight, so be ready to show me what you did today. I want you to get through at least four pages of the actual writing." "But…I'm still taking notes…" "Well, type out what you got so far. Then I can go over it and tell you what you need to do next. And…by the way, if you need to go to the library I want you to call me and let me know, and also when you think you're gonna be back." "Is it OK if me and Ken go to the gym? I sort of wanted to go swimming and relax my legs from the race. And Ken's thigh is pretty messed up." "I'll let you two go over there for an hour. But you'll have to go straight there and straight back. I don't want you messin' around doin' other stuff. You don't have any time for that. If you go, call me first." "Yes, Cecilia." She hugged him and gave him a warm kiss, and with that he was dismissed. ---------- Cecilia was supposed to study, but she took some time away from her scholastic duties to attend to her commitments to "Socrates' Mistresses". She worked on a draft for a new section of the group's website, editing and organizing pictures and links to promote the group's upcoming album. She corresponded with fans and directed some questions to Kimberly Lee-Dolkivna. After sending a draft of the web pages to Kim for review, Cecilia wrote an e-mail to Kim's sister Cynthia Lee concerning the upcoming visit by Prime Minister Dukov. Cecilia asked for advice concerning a topic for her own research paper. She knew that Cynthia Lee's Master's thesis had focused on foreign influence in Upper Danubia's recent election and the failed efforts of several multinational corporations to prevent Vladim Dukov from becoming Prime Minister, so she was the right person from whom to seek advice. While Cecilia was waiting for the response from Cynthia Lee, she received an e-mail from Kim who stated that she was satisfied with Cecilia's web page drafts. Kim shared some of the group's upcoming plans for concerts around Upper Danubia and for promoting the new CD. Kim then did something that showed Cecilia how much she truly trusted her, she sent her fan the preview file of the group's most recently recorded song. The song was titled "My father's land". The song was dedicated to refugees worldwide, but its point of view was Danubian. The narration was from the daughter of a Danubian refugee, who returned to land in Lower Danubia once owned by her family, only to find it taken over by foreigners. The narrator discussed her hopeless situation, and the knowledge her family never could return to their former home. The song was by far the most ambitious musical project ever attempted by "Socrates' Mistresses", with very complicated female vocals, a mix of modern and traditional instruments, and the quiet chanting of the male musicians as part of the background music. Cecilia was dumbstruck at the song's very sad beauty. She knew right away that "My father's land" had all the makings of a truly great piece of music. Cecilia's thoughts drifted to her past and the lands of her own ancestors. She wondered what the concept of "home" possibly could mean to her. Was "home" in Illinois, where she had her dorm room and her studies? Was it New Jersey, where she grew up and her estranged family lived? Was it the Dominican Republic, where her grandparents still lived? Or was it perhaps somewhere further back, in a land of her more distant ancestors? But then, if so, which ancestors? The ancestors from Spain? The ancestors from Africa? The ancestors from the Caribbean? What was "home" to Cecilia Sanchez? The flash of an incoming e-mail message shook Cecilia out of her mental wanderings. It was Cynthia Lee, with a note that signaled the end of the dilemma over choosing a topic to research. Cynthia suggested examining the reasons why Prime Minister Dukov had decided to withdraw Upper Danubia's application to join the European Union. It was a currently important topic with plenty of historical background and perfect for Burnside's class. Kim's sister included a list of recommended reading, and in doing so saved Cecilia days of looking up information on the Internet and in the library. As soon as she saved the list of readings to a floppy disk, Cecilia called Jason. He would accompany her to the library, so she could supervise his time there, and, more importantly, to give her an extra set of arms to carry books back to her room. Jason agreed to drop his plans and go without saying anything, much to her satisfaction. He was learning to obey her properly. That was good. That night, as she slowly fell asleep under to comforting caresses of her boyfriend's hands, Cecilia felt better about her life than she had felt since coming to the university. Everything seemed to have fallen into place for her. She faced a relatively easy time doing her term paper, Jason was there for her, she had $ 1,150 in purchases coming her way, there was her work for "Socrates' Mistresses"…yes it all seemed to be working out. Cecilia's confidence in life was very short-lived. The following day she made a mistake that would seriously disrupt the tranquility of her semester and come very close to ending her entire university career. ---------- Jason's modeling schedule shifted to the afternoon classes. During the mornings he was replaced by a female model, who, ironically enough, was the young athlete who nearly tied the Tri- Alpha 10-K female title with Lisa. She had an attractive figure for anyone who enjoyed looking at thin, muscular women. She was the perfect picture of physical fitness, a detail that Cecilia found erotic. The RA left the art class somewhat distracted. She went to Burnside's office to discuss her research topic and present a list of books she had checked out the day before. Burnside took the list and logged onto her computer, to see if there were any other books and research articles she wanted Cecilia to add to her project. The professor logged on, looked up a list of articles, and told Cecilia to sit at the computer and write down several titles. As Cecilia started copying titles and reference numbers, Burnside's pager went off. She glanced at the message and excused herself. "I just got a delivery in the main office and I have to sign for it. I'll let you stay here and finish copying. Don't leave until I get back, and don't open any other files in the computer." Cecilia finished copying the article titles and was just about to log-off when she noticed a desktop icon with the university logo titled "Examination Drafts". Out of curiosity she clicked on it and opened it. Inside the folder she noticed the names of several tests, including one that interested her, "Econ147Midterm01". Curious to see if the midterm for the Introduction to the Theory of Economics course would be the same as it had been the previous year, Cecilia clicked on the icon. A dialogue box came up. "Click yes to continue." Cecilia clicked "yes", and brought up the midterm draft, along with another dialogue box. "Click yes to log your account." Cecilia clicked "no", but the mid-term came up anyway. It turned out the test would have completely new questions, but keep the general format it had the previous year. Her curiosity satisfied she closed the file, and got another dialogue box. "Click yes to exit". The dialogue box "Click yes to log your account" came up a second time, but again Cecilia clicked "no". She closed the examination folder and returned to the list of the professor's research recommendations. Burnside returned with a couple of certified envelopes. She laid them on her desk and instructed the student to help her take some supplies to the upcoming lecture. ---------- Wednesday morning Cecilia's daily routine was interrupted when the dorm director knocked on her door. "Cecilia, I just got a call from Professor Burnside. She wants you to go over to her office immediately." "But what about my morning classes?" "I don't know. Whatever it is that Dr. Burnside wants, it sounds kinda serious. I think she's more worried about getting you over to her office than about your other classes." A prickly feeling of fear crept up Cecilia's back. Obviously something was very wrong. That became even more evident when the dorm director accompanied his RA to the Economics Building. It turned out Burnside had asked him to escort the student directly to her office. Cecilia's boss departed as soon as his employee was safely deposited at Burnside's door. The professor's expression was not reassuring. Her face reflected a mixture of anger and worry. As soon as the door to the office was closed, Burnside got right to the point. "Alright. I have a question for you and you'd better damn well answer me honestly. When you were on my computer the day before yesterday, did you open any files?" Cecilia thought for a second, and then remembered the midterm draft. She had not thought looking at the midterm was any big deal, given that she was no longer a student in the class and already had taken the test the year before. It was obvious; however, there was indeed a problem. "I sorta…took a look…at the midterm file for the Theory class, Dr. Burnside, you know…'cause I was curious to see if it was…like…like last year." "OK. That answers one question. Now, what did I tell you about opening any files on the computer?" "I wasn't 'sposed to do it, Dr. Burnside." "That's right. You disobeyed a direct order. Now for the other question that interests me. Why did you open that file? What was in there that you felt you needed to see?" "I...it…I was just curious, to see if it was like last year." "Oh really? Just curious? That's it, just curious?" "Honest, I was just curious…" "My God! Just curious! You're trying to tell me that you opened a test file because you were 'curious'? Do you have any idea how lame that sounds?" "Dr. Burnside, it's true…I was just curious…honest." With that Burnside picked up a logbook and an ominous-looking folder with a computer printout. She let out an exasperated sigh. "I can't believe this! You're claiming you accessed an official test file because you were curious!" Burnside looked hard at Cecilia. She realized her student still did not recognize the seriousness of the situation. She handed Cecilia a memo sent to her office late Tuesday night. "Here. Read this. Then I'll tell you the rest of it." Cecilia took the letter and read: Dr. Burnside: The university examination tracking system has detected a user violation on computer ECON748a, which our records indicate is assigned to your office. Last Monday, at 12:47 p.m. our records indicate there was an un-logged access to examination file 88382- f. You are reminded that an un-logged access to an exam file is a violation of Section 3, clause B-3 of your contract with this university. Because examination 88382-f is compromised, the department chairman's office directs you to completely remove the file and all preceding drafts from computer ECON748a. Furthermore, you are directed to prepare a statement fully detailing any and all knowledge you have concerning the aforementioned violation of your contract and of this department's examination security policy. Upon completing your statement you will submit it for review by the University Ethics Committee for Tenured Instructors. Signed: Richard Baker – Ph.D. Acting Chairman – Department of Economic Studies Cecilia's hands shook as she handed back the letter. She couldn't look Burnside in the face. The professor continued in a tone of quiet rage: "The university has a very strict policy for monitoring examination files kept in the campus network. The reason is quite simple, if a student or anyone else tries to access a file to steal it, we find out about it right away. That's why we haven't had any tests stolen for over three years. There have been all kinds of efforts to hack into our system, but we always catch them." Burnside angrily put the papers back in their folder and continued. "I don't know what to say to you. I never would have suspected that you'd pull something like this. I trusted you, and obviously trusting you was a big mistake." "But I didn't copy anything! I just looked at some of the questions! I…was just…curious!" Burnside took a deep breath, still struggling to control her temper. "Alright. On that I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, because the computer log doesn't indicate you copied or downloaded any text. Because no text was copied, I think we can avoid a criminal prosecution over this, although you might have to consent to an electronic search of you personal computer. But…you will have to understand that at the very least you're facing disciplinary action under the Student Code of Ethics." A very sick feeling swept over Cecilia. A possible criminal prosecution? A search of her computer? Definite disciplinary action? Burnside's next words only made the student feel worse. "I need you to type up a statement that describes, in detail, the entire incident from your point of view. I need you to include what your reasoning was when you opened the file, what you remember seeing, when you closed it, and what you did afterwards. I need it as detailed as possible, because the Department of Economic Studies Ethics Committee needs to check your recollection against the electronic log. It will be a sworn statement, and will be entered into evidence." "But…what…what's gonna happen, Dr. Burnside?" "I don't know, Cecilia. I don't know what's going to happen, except that you'll go before an official hearing to determine how the university is going to deal with you. You're screwed, but I won't know how badly you're screwed until we go before the ethics committee. I'll try to put the best face on this I can, but I can tell you the university isn't going to be happy about this, not with either of us. Now start typing." Cecilia had one final question, the answer to which she already knew, but still, she had to hear it. "Dr. Burnside, am I gonna get to go to my other classes? I'm kinda worried about the midterms…" "No, you're not going to any other classes, not 'till we go before the ethics committee. As of now you're officially suspended, and you're not allowed to be anywhere on campus unescorted. You're going to have to stay here in this office this morning. When I teach, you'll have to stay out in the reception area in the sight of the secretary. If the ethics committee decides to expel you, I'll make arrangements to have someone from the department help you get your stuff out of Huntington Hall. I think I owe you that much." Cecilia stood immobilized from shock. Burnside's sour voice snapped. "Well, what are you waiting for? Sit your butt down and type out your explanation." As Cecilia sadly sat typing, Burnside called her co-workers who served on the ethics committee. She requested an emergency hearing, since it was important to resolve Cecilia's situation as quickly as possible. She was enormously relieved when the ethics committee chairman responded and agreed to hold a hearing at 6:00 that evening. Whatever happened to Cecilia, at least her situation would be resolved by nightfall. Either she could go back to her dorm room and return to her normal life, or she would have to go to a motel, but either way it would be settled. Burnside managed to calm her temper. As angry as she was with Cecilia, the professor still felt responsible for her well being and success. The priority now was to salvage the student's career, because she was well aware that to expel her from the university probably would end her life. At all costs, Burnside had to do what she could to convince the ethics panel not to kick Cecilia out of the university. Cecilia got about halfway through a page-long explanation when she stopped. She put her head down into her hands, as tears started dripping down her cheeks. It's over…she kept thinking to herself…it's all over. Burnside glanced at the student. She doubted that the ethics panel actually would expel Cecilia from the university if that wasn't what her professor wanted. More likely she would be placed on probation, but it would be a close call either way. Burnside said nothing to reassure the young woman, because life had taught her to be pessimistic. She did not want to give Cecilia any false hope, unless she was absolutely sure the ethics panel would refrain from imposing the maximum penalty. "Cecilia, if you're going to just sit there crying, then you might as well go back to your room and change into some decent clothing. You and I have a hearing scheduled for 6:00 tonight and I want you to be presentable. I'll have Dr. Halsey's TA escort you back to your room." The walk back to the dorm was absolutely humiliating. Cecilia knew Halsey's arrogant TA and the two women totally hated each other. Having to be escorted back to her room clearly indicated the scholarship student was in trouble, a fact that no doubt would be a source of gossip and speculation throughout the department over the next few days. The TA smirked as she walked back to the dorm alongside the quiet Dominican. To make matters worse, she insisted on going into the dorm room while she changed her clothes. As they stood in her room, Cecilia asked: "Could you at least turn away while I get undressed?" "No. I'm told to watch you and that's what I'm gonna do." Cecilia stripped down to her thong; cringing at the thought of a woman she intensely disliked studying her bare figure. She changed into a light-colored dress she had bought Monday night as part of her wardrobe expansion from the gift certificates given to her by her boss. She sighed, wondering if the next time she entered this room would be the last time, to take her things off campus. "OK. I guess we can head back." After Cecilia returned to Burnside's office, she managed to finish her statement and handed the disk to her professor. Burnside took it, opened and reviewed the file, and secretly deleted the sentence in which Cecilia mentioned that she had been told not to open any files. Burnside had every intention of settling the issue with her student later on, but the priority of the moment was to get her past the committee hearing. Cecilia spent the longest afternoon of her life sitting in the Economic Department's reception area while Burnside taught her classes. TA's and students entered and left the office, all curious at seeing her sitting well dressed, quiet, and miserable in the waiting area of the Economics Department. The waiting gave her time to think about how bleak her situation had become, all because of a single mistake. How quickly it all had ended for her! How easily everything she had struggled for had been swept away! All it took was just two minutes of curiosity and stupidity, just one dumb act, to destroy all her ambitions! Her life was over, because she couldn't see how she could recover from this disaster. There would be no going home. She had no home to go to. There was no way she could face her family after this failure; so New Jersey was no an option. Nor was there any way she would be able to face Jason. She would have to leave without his knowing, and then write him a letter giving him a partial explanation about her departure. Then she would disappear from his life. For the first time in several years, Cecilia contemplated her own death. Without her studies, she had no future, and if she had no future, there was no point in staying alive. She wondered if she could work up the nerve to commit suicide, and if so, how she would carry it out. Her thoughts drifted to her hero Kimberly Lee. Yes, Kim was another person to whom she owed an explanation… Finally, at about 5:00 p.m., Burnside called Cecilia back into her office. "Now, I'll tell you what's happening and what I hope to accomplish tonight. The first thing that I'll let you know is that I'm really pissed at you. Among other things, I'll have to re-write the entire mid-term, and I don't appreciate that. Second, I want you to understand that if you had just done what I told you to do, or at least asked me before clicking on that file, none of this would be happening. You understand that, right?" "Yes, Dr. Burnside. I understand." "The next thing I want you to understand is that between now and 7:00 tonight, I'll have one priority on my mind, and that's keeping you enrolled. No matter what I say to that committee, you are not to contradict me. Do you understand?" Cecilia looked up Burnside with teary eyes and nodded. Burnside's expression bore into the miserable student. "I want you to understand that what I plan to do is to try to convince the ethics committee to defer your punishment back to me. I'll settle matters with you afterwards, which is going to be part of my argument to the panel that you shouldn't be expelled or prosecuted. You'll be punished, but we'll do it in private and it'll stay out of your student records." Cecilia wondered what on earth Burnside meant by the comment "you'll be punished, but we'll do it in private". She remembered the rumors, those weird stories about the whippings. Her hands shook. Was it possible…? "Before we head to the hearing room, I want you to take a look at this and sign it. You are responsible for honoring this agreement if I manage to keep you from getting expelled." Cecilia read: I, __________, admit to having accessed an active course examination file on __________ without authorization from either my professor, Dr. Ruth Burnside, or anyone else associated with the Department of Economic Studies. I fully understand that unauthorized access of an active examination file is grounds for immediate expulsion from this university under the student code of ethics. I also understand that an unauthorized access of an active university examination file for the purpose of re- distribution is a misdemeanor offence under the laws of this state and is punishable by 90 days in jail and/or a $ 5,000 fine. In lieu of disciplinary action from the university administration, I, __________, freely and willingly choose to accept the disciplinary alternative offered by my professor, Dr. Burnside. I understand that upon completion of the disciplinary alternative to Dr. Burnside's satisfaction, I will continue my coursework and no further action will be taken against me. Signed ___________. ---------- A few minutes later Cecilia and Burnside stood before three very stern-looking senior professors. Cecilia recognized two of them from the Department of Economic Studies. The third panel member was a female professor from the Business School. As severe as Ruth Burnside might have seemed to Cecilia, if anything, the three in front of her looked even worse. Burnside's usual direct and confident self-demeanor was a bit toned down in the hearing, given the uncomfortable task she had in trying to convince them to let her student stay enrolled. Burnside directed Cecilia to present her statement to the committee. She signed it in the presence of the committee members who each initialed the bottom of the document. There was a reading of the computer log, and the conclusion that it matched Cecilia's statement. The director of the committee then spoke to Burnside. "Ruth, what's your interpretation of Ms. Sanchez's motives?" "As odd as this sounds, I think she's telling the truth. The computer log doesn't show the downloading of any text, which to me would have indicated she had some other purpose for accessing the file. She says it was just curiosity, and I think that's what it was." "Do you think she was aware of the serious consequences of her actions?" "No, of course she wasn't. And that was partially my fault, because I didn't say anything about not opening the test files. I just assumed she wouldn't." "You assumed. Ruth, you can't make such assumptions! That sloppiness of thinking is unacceptable, especially from someone with your standing in the department! You're at fault then, for leaving those files unsecured! Do you understand that?" "Yes, I understand that. I accept blame for leaving my files unsecured. I am willing to accept my part of the responsibility for this incident, because I did not secure the contents of my computer. Ms. Sanchez accessed the file in large part due to my own negligence." The female member of the panel spoke. "Well Ruth, perhaps it is a noble thing you are trying to accomplish, but I suspect your efforts to accept blame and keep your student enrolled are being misdirected. To me it seems that Ms. Sanchez has proven herself untrustworthy, and to be honest, I feel she's taking the place of someone else who could bring to this university a better character. The fact that you left examination files unsecured is a separate issue, but I don't feel that means that Ms. Sanchez should not suffer the consequences of her actions." "I agree with you. Ms. Sanchez should suffer the consequences of her actions. But I don't think those consequences should entail ruining her life. My intention is not to let her off, but instead make this a learning experience for her. I ask you to remember that outside this incident, she has been an exemplary student. Should we condemn her for a single mistake, however serious that mistake may have been?" The chairman of the committee spoke to Cecilia: "Young lady, I'd like to ask you something. How do you feel about this? What lessons do you think you might take away from this hearing?" "Sir, all I can say is that I really messed up. I don't know. Maybe I deserve to get kicked out, 'cause of all the trouble I caused for Dr. Burnside. But, no matter what, I do wanna say 'thank you' to Dr. Burnside for at least trying to help me, and that…I'm sorry for what I did." "If this committee decides to refer your discipline back to Professor Burnside, would you find that acceptable?" "Yes sir. I'd do whatever she tells me." "Then…" the director faced the representative from the Business School, "…Brenda, I'm going to disagree with you on this. I think the interests of Ms. Sanchez and the university are better served by keeping her enrolled and deferring the matter back to Ruth. Bob, what do you think?" "Let Ruth handle it. That's my vote. Brenda?" "I'm dissenting. I think this young woman violated the trust of the university and of a faculty member. She should be made into an example for other students, and I would like that comment recorded in the minutes of this meeting." "Very well, Brenda, your concerns will be noted. Ruth, this panel is voting two to one to allow Cecilia Sanchez to remain enrolled as a student in the Department of Economic Studies. I am recommending she be placed on probation for the rest of the semester and will hold you personally accountable for her behavior from this point forward. As of this moment the suspension against her is removed and she will be allowed to return to her classes as of tomorrow morning." "Very well. For the record I want to express my deep appreciation to this committee for your consideration, and also for meeting on such short notice to resolve my student's standing." Burnside turned to leave, but Cecilia was so stunned that she couldn't even react. The professor touched her arm. "Cecilia, let's go. I need to talk to you in private." Cecilia quietly followed Burnside down the stairs, not completely sure what exactly had been decided by the committee. She was too scared to ask or say anything. Once in the office, the older woman closed the door. "Cecilia, do you understand what just happened?" "I…I'm not gonna get kicked out?" "Sort of. What the committee did was to make me responsible for deciding about your continued enrollment. Obviously it's my intention that you stay enrolled. It's my intention that you keep your scholarship and you get your degree. It's also my intention that you go back to your room with a lesson from tonight. I believe that everyone is entitled to one screw-up. You've just had your allotted screw-up, and it was a pretty big one." "Dr. Burnside, what's gonna happen to you?" "I'll get a written reprimand for leaving examination files unsecured. It'll stay in my file for a year and then get pulled out. I can't get promoted until that paper's out of my file, but that's no big deal. A year's not that long." Cecilia said nothing. Burnside put the committee papers on her desk, except the paper Cecilia had signed immediately before the committee hearing. "By the way, you understand that I still have to punish you?" "But…I thought that…" "Cecilia, what the committee did was to defer your punishment back to me. You're still getting punished for what you did. It's just that I'm doing it, not them, and the reason I'm doing it is so it won't go into your academic record. But you placed my career in jeopardy, and you're going to pay for that. That's why I had you sign that paper. The first part of your punishment is going to be here in this office in a couple of minutes. The last weekend in October will be your second installment, which is when I'll punish you again and have you serve as a hostess at my annual Halloween Party. That'll be it, assuming you don't screw up again." Burnside took off her jacket and draped it over the back of her chair. Cecilia looked at her in terror, realizing… "Get undressed. Get everything off, right now. Fold up your dress and put it on that chair. Then put your underwear on top and put your shoes underneath." "Dr. Burnside, please…couldn't you just do it over my clothes?" "Of course I'm not punishing you over your clothes! Now start stripping! If I have to do it for you then I'll really give you something to cry about!" Her heart pounding, Cecilia reluctantly pulled the dress over her head. She fumbled with her bra and pushed her thong to her ankles, then stood in front of Burnside, looking away and trying to cover herself with her hands. The professor sharply smacked her hands away from her body. "There will be no false modesty from you. I'm going to be seeing plenty of you next month, so you'd better get used to it. Now stand up straight and look at me." Cecilia stood up straight, as tears continued to flow down her cheeks. "This is the way I do things. My feeling is that if you screw up, you have to suffer for it. I believe in strict discipline, but don't believe in wreaking people's lives. There is an issue for us to settle, but we're settling it in private. That's what you agreed to, and it's what the ethics committee agreed to. Do you understand me?" "Y…yes…Dr Burnside, I…I understand." With that Burnside sat down on her office sofa. Cecilia reluctantly approached her, waiting for instructions. The professor reached up, grabbed her wrist, and pulled the trembling, naked student across her lap. "Move forward a bit…good…now turn your butt up and spread your legs." As she complied, Cecilia felt the cool air of the office gently blow against her exposed vagina and bottom-hole. She felt completely helpless and exposed, lying at the mercy of her professor. There was irony in the situation: Burnside had saved Cecilia's ass, and now she was going to spank it. Burnside rested her hand on Cecilia's left bottom-cheek, gently caressing the mound of tender skin and her fingertips resting in the dark sensitive area in between. "This is going to hurt, and we're going to be at it for a while. Until I'm finished, I expect you to keep your bottom relaxed and turned up. I expect you to keep your hands in front of you and your feet down. If you tighten your bottom by tensing up your muscles, I'll warn you by running my finger up the middle. You will relax immediately. If you disobey me, I am not going to tire my hand out spanking a tensed up bottom. I've got a cane behind my desk and I'll just finish up with that instead. If you try to cover yourself with your hands, we'll switch to the cane right away. If you want to avoid the cane, you'll keep your butt relaxed and your hands away until I'm done. Do you understand me?" "Y…yes…I understand." Burnside caressed Cecilia's bottom a few more times, enjoying the sight and feel of her victim's soft dark skin. Finally she lifted her hand and delivered a very sharp SMACK to Cecilia's right bottom-cheek. The student squealed, more from shock than anything else, at the force of the blow. She would discover that Ruth Burnside, although in her late 30's, was physically fit and very strong from having worked out all her life. She also had plenty of endurance in her arms. An over the lap spanking from Ruth Burnside was a very serious matter and a long, painful experience. Burnside had thought about using the cane on Cecilia, but decided to spank her instead. She wanted the experience to be humiliating for the student and drag it out as long as possible, possibly as long as an hour. Having the naked girl over her lap also gave Burnside a feeling of intimate control over her, and she thoroughly enjoyed the sensation of Cecilia's body squirming over her thighs and the bare skin of her bottom against the palm of her hand. SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!… Burnside spanked slowly, spacing the smacks about 5 seconds apart to allow Cecilia feel the full effect of each swat. She spanked on alternate sides, covering her entire bottom with painful, stinging marks. Cecilia struggled to keep her bottom turned up and clasped her hands to keep them from trying to reach back and protect her backside. Tears were running down her cheeks, but they were not tears resulting from the spanking itself. She was crying over the entire traumatic day, of which the physical punishment was the final painful episode. Every few minutes Burnside paused from spanking to pass her hand over her student's warming backside and enjoy the feel of her swollen skin. As much as she wanted to fondle and massage the tender area between Cecilia's legs, she refrained from doing so. Burnside found Cecilia quite attractive, but struggled to control her own sexual desires with her quiet victim. SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!… As the pain continued to worsen, Cecilia struggled to avoid crying out loud. There was nothing she could do about the tears flowing down her cheeks, but she was determined to show as much courage as possible and not let Burnside hear any crying. Only once did she tense up, the muscles in her bottom tightening against Burnside's hand. As she had mentioned before starting, Burnside ran her index finger up the middle of Cecilia's bottom as a warning. Terrified at the thought of the cane, the student managed to relax her bottom and the spanking continued. The young woman's emotions were going through turmoil as she fought her instincts and tried to stay in position for the next swat. She did not resent being punished in this manner, because the alternative was expulsion and having her life ruined. If anything, the sharp pain burning into her backside was a more of a relief. All day she had felt horribly guilty over the trouble she had caused Burnside, and had wondered how to make it up to the professor. Well, now she didn't have to worry about that anymore. She was receiving the needed punishment, the intensity of which was driving away the guilt. The pain in her bottom was cleansing her soul…she felt this was what she needed. No, she would make no effort to avoid the swats or try to cover herself. It wasn't the fear of the cane that motivated Cecilia to stay in position; it was the feeling of needing to redeem herself by pleasing the professor and submitting to her discipline. Burnside's anger slowly began to subside as she belabored the silent student. She was pleased that Cecilia continued to quietly lie across her lap, stoically accepting the punishment she had so obviously earned. She also enjoyed what she was doing; enjoying he sight of the attractive naked girl as her bottom jiggled and reddened under the continuing barrage of harsh slaps. She loved the feel of the soft skin and resilient flesh each time her hand made contact, and the weight of her body as she lay in intimate contact with the professor's thighs. As the spanking continued, Burnside became more and more aroused. Punishment always gave the woman intense sexual gratification, whether it was punishing a student such as Cecilia, or punishing one of her many lovers. The sight of a bare, badly marked up bottom and the teary face of a person being disciplined gave her intense sexual joy that nothing else could give her. SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!…SLAP!… As brave as she was, it was becoming harder and harder for Cecilia to stay in position. She couldn't believe how strong Burnside was, nor how much endurance her arm had. The minutes dragged by and the slow rhythm of the spanking did not change. 15 minutes....20 minutes...25 minutes...30 minutes... The experience was as severe as a paddling; with Cecilia's bottom becoming swollen and quite red. Perhaps this was just an over-the-lap hand spanking, but the strength in the professor's arm ensured that Cecilia would feel it for a couple of days and sit uncomfortably in class on Thursday. Cecilia couldn't hold out any longer. After about 35 minutes of severe spanking, she began crying. Crying was the one thing she desperately had wanted to avoid, but Burnside was not about to grant her that desire. Breaking the student was an important part of the punishment, and finally, after more than a half an hour of non-stop pain, the Dominican did break. As the painful slaps continued to land on her swollen bottom, Cecilia's body jerked from crying and her sobs filled the room, much to Burnside's satisfaction. Cecilia buried her face in her hands as she lay crying. Burnside decided to wind down the spanking, because Cecilia finally was doing what she needed to do, cry. She was releasing the guilt and tension built up throughout the day's traumatic events, something the professor felt was necessary before the student could go back to her room. Burnside stopped spanking continuously and began spanking much more slowly. She delivered four sharp slaps on alternate bottom- cheeks, then gently massaged the swollen area for a few seconds before delivering four more slaps. Burnside began lengthening the breaks between slaps as she enjoyed caressing her student's suffering bottom. Cecilia continued to cry, but now she felt enormously relieved, especially after Burnside delivered her final swats and sat quietly as the young woman continued to cry over her lap. For several minutes Burnside did nothing, simply waiting with a re-assuring hand resting on the student's back while she continued to cry. Cecilia could take the time she needed to cry it out. When she had recovered enough to stand up, things would be right between the student and her professor. The anger and guilt from the day would stay here in this office. Tomorrow would be a new day, a new beginning, and a new opportunity for Cecilia to move ahead with her life. Cecilia's crying subsided about 10 minutes after Burnside finished spanking her. Burnside motioned her to get up. "Come-on, we're done. I want you to get back to Huntington Hall at a decent hour so you can get ready for tomorrow." Cecilia slowly stood up and sadly looked back at the professor. Already Burnside was putting her dark jacket back on. Cecilia reluctantly reached for her thong and slipped it over her very sore bottom. She put on her dress, not worrying about fiddling with her bra. She shoved the bra in her purse. Again she looked over at the professor, who was straightening the papers on her desk. Cecilia wanted to say something to Burnside, but wasn't sure what. Finally a question popped into her mind. "Dr. Burnside?" "Yes, Cecilia?" "How come you didn't tell the committee that I…that you…told me 'don't open no files?' I mean like…that you didn't say anything about it…'cause you did." "I didn't mention that because I had one thing on my mind at that meeting. I wanted to save your ass, Cecilia. That's what I was worried about. I probably could've avoided the write-up if I had mentioned what I said to you about not opening files, but then you would've gotten kicked out for sure." "And you don't care…I mean…about yourself?" "Of course I care about myself. I'm not happy about what happened. I'm still pissed about it. But I didn't want to see you on a bus heading back to New Jersey." "I wouldn't have gone back there, Dr. Burnside. I couldn't of. I would've just…tried to disappear." "I figured as much. I could see it in your eyes, when I came back from class and saw you sitting there in the receptionist's office with that dead look on your face. That's why I thought saving your ass was more important than avoiding a write-up. As for the write-up, I'll get over it. A year from now that'll be out of my file and it'll be like none of it ever happened." Cecilia nodded, and with all her effort managed not to start crying again. She realized something important, that Burnside cared about her. She was cruel and unpleasant, but at the same time she actually cared about Cecilia and wanted the best out of life for her. In spite of the pain coming from her still throbbing bottom, the knowledge of knowing that her professor actually cared about her somehow seemed to make the entire night worth it. "Good night, Dr. Burnside." "Good night, Cecilia. Remember, it'll be bright and early tomorrow. You've got a day of catching up to do." ---------- Upon returning to the dorm, Cecilia called Jason and told him to get dressed and be ready to be escorted back to her room. Once inside she hugged him and held onto him for a long time, wanting reassurance that he still was there for her and that she would not have to leave him. To have him safely in her arms, after coming so close to having him stripped away from her along with all of the other parts of her life! Jason was deeply puzzled by his girlfriend's odd and very affectionate behavior, but only much later would he get an answer from her about what had happened. Cecilia needed him, but she needed to have a relationship in which she would not display any of her weaknesses. He knew that she had just suffered a crisis in her life, but he knew better than to inquire what that crisis had been. What she needed was for him to be there and hold her, not to ask a bunch of questions. He didn't need to know why; he just needed to comfort her. She turned out the light and undressed him, and then herself. She would have to skip her normal massage, given that her bottom was too sore and she did not want him to see how red it was from her punishment. Instead she told him to lie down on her bed on his back. In the darkness she massaged his chest and finally his penis until he was hard and ready to meet her desires. She put a condom on him and lowered herself to satisfy her need for sex. The pain from her spanking returned as she pressed down on her bottom and rocked back and forth over his pulsating organ. Cecilia was shocked to discover that the pain from her bottom and the memory of her harsh experience over Burnside's lap aroused her tremendously. She had one of the best orgasms of her life that night, as she re-lived the harsh, scary experience and enjoyed the exquisite feel of her lover inside her and the pressure against her sore backside as she moved back and forth over his thighs. She had learned what it was to combine intense pain and intense pleasure for a truly great sexual experience. That was yet another lesson about life given to her that night by Ruth Burnside.