THE GENTLEMEN'S CLUB Trevor Written by Lady Poetess egiggles at moose-mail.com /~bbp Please do not reproduce on any website without permission. This story has no resemblance to anyone dead or alive. ONE "Housewarming party this Saturday!" Or so Nicholas Brendon wanted to say, if he hadn't tripped over a box in his path. "My CD collection," he cried as he watched the large box in his hands fly across the room. "Got it." Marc Blucas caught the box and held it with seemingly little effort. "Where should this go?" Nicky who had been struggling with that box tried to speak. Finally, he gave up and nodded at the direction of his bedroom. He also wished he had Marc's strength. That would be cool for once. "Move it!" James Marsters pushed past Nicky while trying to juggle a heavy box in his hands. "This is the last time I do you any favors. What is in this fucking box? Your porn collection? It sure weighs like it." Nicky felt heat creep up the back of his neck. It was his porn collection. It was okay, he wasn't ashamed of it, except that yes, he was ashamed to admit that watching porn was the closest he ever got to the real thing. His cursed stutter was coming back too. Fuck. "Uh..." He swallowed. "P-p-p..." Get a grip! Finally Marc took pity and took the box out of James' hands. He was carrying it to Nicky's bedroom with an ease both other men never exhibited with that fucking box. "Why is it that we are doing all the carrying and lifting?" James asked Nicky, "we" indicating both he and Marc, in between pants. "Man, you guys, give me a break. Don't I get any respect even at my own place?" Nicky asked desperately. "Oh, I respect you. At twenty-seven, you finally moved out of your parents' house. Bravo." James had a way of making that sound less than awe-inspiring. "Fuck that, there are nothing left to lift, so I'm going home to get ready for a date. Now we're even, Nicky." Nicky sighed as he sat on a box, looking at the now deserted living room. He felt like the most incompetent loser in the world. He was one, he guessed. "I..." he said aloud, then paused as frustration welled in him. What could he say? "Well, that's about it," Marc said, rolling down his sleeves as he walked back into the room. A kinder man than Nicky, he never had a hard word to say to him. In fact, unlike James who had to be blackmailed into helping Nicky, Marc agreed to help without hesitation, even if Marc was just a friend Nicky met through a bad date (bad in the date's opinion). Marc was that kind of guy who had this steady, realiable air around him that make losers like Nicky cling to like a pathetic barnacle. "Want to join me and Brian" - Marc's boyfriend - "for dinner?" "Please don't pity me," Nicky said miserably. "I'm not pitying you," said Marc gently. "It's just that you have moved into a room of your own, and it will be lonely the first few days you're here." Especially when Nicky had no real friends - only people who tolerated him - which Nicky knew Marc would never say aloud. "Thanks for the invitation but I just want to be alone," Nicky told him. "And thanks for the help." "It's okay." Marc patted Nicky's shoulders reassuringly. He was just one year older than Nicky, yet the disparity of their personalities seemed decades apart. "I understand. I moved into New York, alone for the first time with Brian in tow, and I was so lonely back then it almost drove me mad. But it becomes better with time." Nicky bit back a humorless laugh. He put on his usual clown-joker can't-hurt-me defiant mask and smiled back at Marc, even if his face muscles strained with the pretense. "But you got over it. I envy you, Marc. You're strong in every way that counts." "Yeah? That was me who couldn't find anyone to talk to that day we met at Stephen Gately's party. I was so grateful when you talked to me." "I was just as grateful." Nicky smiled, genuine warmth this time. "Thanks, Marc." "Hey, we're friends. Please, join us for dinner." Nicky stared at Marc in amazement. "Friends"? Even if Nicky was clumsy and keep saying the wrong things in a voice that seemed to irritate people and... friends? No, that was not him tearing up. No, he just needed something to wipe his eyes. "Okay," he said in a soft, vulnerable voice he never knew he had. He had thought that moving out was a step up in the right direction for him. Now, he believed for the first time that somehow, that might be really true for losers like him. TWO Trevor was in a foul mood. When he was in a foul mood, he had so much rage in him that the only way he could stay cool was by hurting people. Ordinary people would be in trouble if they were like Trevor. Trevor, however, was no ordinary person. Just someone who was very good at getting out of trouble, someone who even now pressed the sole of his expensive leather shoe over the battered and bloody man on the ground. Ignoring the man's choked cry, he rested his whole weight on that sole for three painful seconds before walking over the man. The man on the ground wouldn't be mugging any day soon. Trevor didn't have any high moral grounds to condemn the man. Thievery was fair play in his opinion if someone needed money for booze or coke. It was nothing personal - just the mugger's bad luck that Trevor had a bad day at work. Bad timing, actually, poor dumb fuck mugger. Trevor stepped into the nearby payphone and called the local hospital to report the mugger's beating. If he had to profile himself, okay, he would be a psychopath. Actually, he liked to believe that he was more of a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Guess which one he related more to. Since that injured man was a good punching bag, Trevor decided to call the hospital. He was nice that way - the least he could do, really. He didn't bleed - he rarely did - and he had no blood on his clothes. When he left the alley, he was just another face on the streets. His anger still raged, and he prowled the streets until he found another way to release it. Trevor fell onto his back with a heavy thud. It was quite a shock - he never was this careless before. "You okay? I didn't see you coming, and I hope you're not hurt. I..." A man with the saddest haircut and the stupidest face Trevor had ever seen was babbling. Trevor growled when the other man made to help him stand. He rose to his feet by himself, and checked his trousers. "My trousers are ruined," said he in a low heated growl. "I'll pay!" the loser quickly said. "I don't think so," Trevor said, looking at the other man's cheap and garish lumberjack shirt, the ugly T-shirt, and faded jeans. "Oh. Maybe I can pay for the repairs instead?" Trevor wasn't angry. Now that was a revelation. No anger at this incident, no burning instinct to wipe the sheepish look off this loser's face - nothing. "No," said he again as he tried to find a reason for this anomaly. "It's just a small tear and I can always fix it myself." "Look, there's some dirt on your shirt." The loser made to brush it off. Trevor stepped back. "No, I'll - fuck!" The loser tripped on something, and his hand grasped Trevor's shirt for support. Trevor felt his shirt rip, and winced at the sound of the loud tearing sound. "Oops," the loser said as he looked up from his sprawl on the pavement. Trevor pulled his torn shirt off his body and slung it over his shoulders. Then he surprised himself by laughing. It was a small chuckle at first then soon ripened into full-bodied laughter. Mirth was a stranger to him, and he sobered fast when he realied what he'd just done. "I live nearby. You can borrow something I can wear. Did I say borrow? No, just take one. I know my shirts are on the cheap side, but... I think we're the same size." Trevor hid his scowl. The loser was rather pudgy, his body rounded and plump rather than tightly muscled without any hint of fat like Trevor. Trevor knew he looked good in his body, because he had this obsessive compulsion, according to his old shrink. Maybe he and the loser shared the same shoe size, but that was all. But Trevor realized that he rather liked this loser. The loser reminded Trevor of this puppy he once befriended when he was four - bubbling with misplaced excitement that amused Trevor even as it fascinated him. "Lead the way," he told the loser. "My name's Trevor." "Oh, I'm Nicky. I just moved here." He mentioned the address of a lower middle-class suburban street. "I was just getting some vids from the rental for tonight. Bruce Lee. you like Bruce Lee?" "No." Trevor walked one step, then two, behind Nicky. Nicky just babbled on in that enthusiasm perfected by someone who talked to himself more than to others. Trevor lagged behind, occassionally grunting in affirmation, at first because he wanted to escape the babbling, but later because he was transfixed by Nicky's ass cheeks. Nicky's plump, rounded curves rubbed against each other as they bounced slightly with each step the man took, juicy and luscious to Trevor's heated perusal. Trevor was getting aroused. Another anomaly. He rarely had sex, passing months of celibacy until like his fury, his libido became too much to contain. Then he would pay for someone who wouldn't mind his rough brand of sex. Maybe Nicky would like what Trevor had to give. And maybe it was Nicky's bad luck, but at that moment, it began to rain. They were soaked to the bone, Nicky thought as he pushed open his door. So much for the romantic fantasy he played in his mind - Trevor would see what a wonderful and misunderstood man Nicky was, and taken by Nicky's tragic romanticism, he would get down on one knee and vow eternal love. Of course it wouldn't happen, but Nicky thought it was a nice fantasy nonetheless. Knowing that it would not happen was a bummer, however. Maybe Trevor would need a change of pants too, Nicky thought, trying to keep a bright spirit. Maybe Trevor would strip and let Nicky see him naked. He was a pervert. But he was a twenty-seven year old virgin who had ample reasons to be perverted. Trevor was a hunk. Nicky cast the man a surreptitious glance. Trevor's torso was a splendid tapestry of pure, hard muscles that would make a Greek statue envious. Rain had left rivulets of water coursing down the well-formed pectorals, over wine-dark nipples that stood out erect in the cold, down the sculpted abs... a great body, indeed. Trevor's face wasn't handsome, but it was a lean and hungry face that thrilled Nicky into envisioning Trevor as a dangerous man. Nicky looked down on his own body and sucked in his stomach. Oh well, maybe it was time he accepted Marc's invitation to be his weekend gym partner (Marc's nephew had moved out with some guy of his own and no longer joined Marc at the gym). His jeans felt a little too snug recently. "My place," he told Trevor nervously. "I just moved in, so it's still a mess." His place looked like a dump. Nicky was proud of his own place, but now, he felt ashamed as he wondered what Trevor would think of this dump and its faded wall paint. "Nice," Trevor just answered. "Can I get a towel?" "Sure," Nicky answered quickly. He tripped, however, and crashed into another sprawl at Trevor's feet. "Maybe I should just shut up and see where I am going," he concluded miserably. Trevor crouched down and smiled at Nicky. Nicky gulped as the smile slowly faded as something resembling... lust?... burned in Trevor's smiles. Then Trevor lowered his body over Nicky's, his tall and lean frame pinning Nicky down as effectively as his hands and hips. Nicky's hormones boiled as his heart started to hammer painfully in his chest. Could it be? At last, the oldest male virgin in town would finally get some! Trevor lifted his lower body, and his hand moved down to unfasten his trousers. Nicky took the opportunity to pull his own wet T-shirt over his head. He was unfastening his own jeans when Trevor pulled Nicky's upper body up and prodded the tip of his thick cock against Nicky's lips. Nicky needed no further urging. He hungrily licked at the tip, tasting the man's salty juices. His first cock, he thought happily as he tried to then take the cock into his mouth. He loved it. He loved the taste, the texture, and the way it filled his mouth. Trevor's fingers held an iron grip on Nicky's curls as Nicky tried to clumsily suck hard at the cock. Nicky choked when Trevor just thrust deep, and he made a choked cry when that cock pushed open his throat and forced itself in. Tears blurred his sight as Trevor started to rape his mouth. But he only held on, his own body instinctively reacting to the other man's domination onslaught. He eased his throat, sucking hard whenever Trevor withdrew his cock until the man groaned in pleasure and thrust back home where it belonged. Soon Nicky eased into a rhythm of breathing and sucking, his hands reaching out to mash Trevor's heavy balls against his lips and chin whenever the man drove hilt-deep into Nicky's mouth. He even bit Trevor, and the man surprised him by growling out to Nicky to bite him again. He was so lost in this orgy of taste and sensation that Trevor's ejaculation caught him by surprise. Thick spunk exploded from Trevor's cock, filling Nicky's mouth and making him gag slightly as he tried to swallow as much as he could. He did so noisily, really enjoying the salty taste of virile man. Trevor lost all strength in his knees as Nicky brought out more pleasure from him than he could ever recall. He fell back onto his ass on the floor. Nicky only mewed hungrily as he tried to keep Trevor's cock in his mouth. Soon, Nicky was bending over Trevor, hungily moving his mouth up and down the shaft the fast-reviving cock, not stopping until he was rewarded with yet another rich meal of spunk. And he still wanted more. Trevor closed his eyes and hoped he would survive this maddened cocksucker's onslaught. THREE "More... more..." Nicky licked at the remnants of Trevor's last ejaculation at the man's cock slit, stabbing at the opening with the tip of his tongue. His tongue probbed into the sensitized slit, drawing a hiss from Trevor, but Nicky didn't care. His throat burned from the incessant cock sucking, and he still couldn't quench the taste of spunk from his throat after drinking off Trevor's saliva as well as water. "Come on, Trev, get hard you big son of a bitch." Trevor laughed. Nicky wouldn't let go. Even when Trevor needed to piss, the other man wouldn't take his mouth off him. He drank everything that came out of Trevor's cock like a pro. But this time he wanted more. He placed his fingers around Nicky's throat and with a firm but gentle motion, nudged Nicky's chin up, letting the man know that he had indulged the man long enough. He knew he looked a sight to Nicky. Not only was his cock red from Nicky's rough administrations, his crotch fur was a mess and there were scratches and bruises all over his thighs and lower stomach. It felt glorious. Nicky too sported a slightly bleeding lower lip and he bruised where Trevor manhandled him. Rare and unexpected concern rose in him as he checked Nicky's face and neck for any actual damage. Finding none, he noted that Nicky was in fact glowing with life, and there was a gleeful shine in his eyes. Nicky would make a perfect bitch. Trevor touched a scratch on his face, and licked the blood from his fingers. He usually killed those who marked him in any way, but for this, for Nicky, he would wear the scars with pride. "Patience, Nicky," he murmured and gripped Nicky's chin tight enough to cause pain when the other man made to swoop down on his cock once more. "There's more to fucking than blow jobs." Nicky gasped in pain, but he just grinned defiantly. "My ass? Will it be as good as me taking you in the mouth? I don't know, you see, I've never done anything this wild and glorious before in my life!" Trevor didn't say anything, he couldn't say anything. He stared dumbly at Nicky's wild, almost crazed, but definitely glowing face, a face so beautiful in its glow an vivacity. He wondered - did he do this? - and he touched Nicky's face gently, the first sign of gentleness he displayed to the man. Something in him had cracked and started to bleed when he saw Nicky's coming to life, and he didn't care. He embraced the pain and pleasure. "I will try to make your first time as good as I can," he vowed. "And after that can I fuck you too?" Trevor nodded. He was still dumb-struck a little. Nicky only widened his grin as he clumsily rolled over and lifted himself on his hands and knees. His shoulders rose and fell in noticeable anticipation as he lifted his plump buttocks and swayed them at Trevor's face. "Like this?" he asked as Trevor chuckled in bemusement. "Be gentle, okay?" "Gentle?" Trevor asked mockingly as he moved on his knees towards Nicky. Nicky's rosy ass bud clenched and opened invitingly, and without any preliminaries, Trevor pressed his cock head, widening the bud, and then thrust home roughly. The tearing friction almost drove him into spilling his load, but miraculously he held himself in check. Nicky gave a cracked sob as his entire body shuddered in protest against the splitting of his untrained anus, but Nicky, uninitiated in the ways of pain, finally lost control, arched his back in pain, and let out a howl of pain-pleasure. Trevor took this opportunity to place his hand between Nicky's teeth. As he started fucking the man, he felt Nicky's teeth bite down, and he cried out as his senses flared beyond the limits of sanity, fuelled by the pain and the feel of blood dripping freely down his torn flesh. His own cock tore Nicky open, blood staining his shaft as he withdrew and thrust home in brutal, shallow thrusts. The climax tore them both like a cataclysm. Trevor came like a man possessed, every muscle in his body straining as he poured himself into Nicky's greedy asshole. Nicky was convulsing and sobbing his pleasure in incoherent mewlings, his own cock spurting his semen onto the bed in sync with the pulsing pleasure of his badly ravaged ass. Trevor groaned, a defeated man, and collapsed onto Nicky. "I won," Nicky gasped, correctly interpreting Trevor's dazed expression. "I'm one good fuck, huh?" Trevor looked at his bleeding and torn hand, at Nicky's blood- stained lips, and felt the crack in him break even more. "You are one hot fuck," he conceded. "You take it like no one else could." And then he kissed Nicky. Their lips met, and they shared Trevor's blood between them as they deepened their kiss. Their hunger flared back to life, spiraling into an uncontrollable need as their hands began clawing at each other. This time, Trevor bottomed, and Nicky, while clumsy and unpractised, showed as much potential as he did as a bottom. Nicky had a secret. He felt as if he was living a secret life. By day, he worked as a 7-11 boy like always, the affable, good- natured loser whom everybody took for granted. His boss chewed on him, kids deliberately try to run him down with their skateboards as he walked home, and homeless people pestered him for booze money. But at home, in the privacy of his room, Trevor made all his erotic fantasies come true. Fuck, be fucked, suck, be sucked, and everything he wanted, Trevor did and let him do to him. He told his parents that he was okay. He was. He told them that he was living a nice life with a nice guy. He was. Trevor was crazy, he knew that. Only a crazy man would accelerate his car and do a hit-and-run on Nicky's fucking annoying boss, causing the man to land in the hospital for broken legs (both of them). Only a crazy man would give Nicky an automatic and taught him how to use it. Nicky thought that Trevor was the sweetest man alive to even care about Nicky in those simple little things. Wasn't that all that mattered? Simple little things? After their first fuck, Nicky awoke to an empty bed. He cried in the bathroom, out of despair because even as he anticipated this, knowing that Trevor was gone hurt more than he expected. But Trevor knocked on the door that evening after Nicky came home from work, and lifted a single sports bag. "I think it's easier if I leave some clothes here with you. And I'll be bringing my laptop and work too, if you don't mind." Nicky nodded, unable to believe this. "I can spare some space in my bathroom." "Oh, and don't worry about the landlady of yours anymore," added Trevor. "I just bought this whole place, or rather, it will be mine by the end of this week. Treat me nice and I'll even deed it to you." "I... I... d-d-don't know what to say." "Just shut up and let me in then. I want your ass." Nicky quickly let him in. FOUR Julian McMahon relaxed his guard and lowered his automatic when he saw the man coming out of the shadows. "Trevor," he said in a tone that hinted of disgust. Trevor let his hands remain high in the air - a gesture of peace. "I don't have anything on me." "I heard scuffles earlier." "That's just me, killing off that pest Antoine." Julian lifted one brow in surprise. Antoine was Trevor's mentor. No, mentor wasn't the correct word. Antoine used to be Julian's comrade, until Julian decided to leave the shadow organization they both belonged to. Julian had trained Trevor - and Trevor chose to stay behind with Antoine and the rest. "Then why did you summon me here?" Julian asked. "You've just signed a death wish." "Don't worry. I'm a careful guy. Antoine wasn't even supposed to be here tonight, but laying low in Tuscany. Nobody would miss him until too late." "Where did you leave the body?" asked Julian. "In the freezer." Julian made a sound of disgust. "How many times did I tell you to be more subtle? We're not in a noir film." "I ground him up using the meat grinder first, pack him up, and place him in three big bags of minced meat." "Now that's more like it," said Julian approvingly. "Confess, I'm better than you expected. Your exit was a mess. You left six dead men behind. Me, I left no trace behind." "Don't get too cocky. You're not invincible." Julian stared at Trevor as the other man's words finally sank in. " You want out? What is it you want with me, Trevor?" he asked again, this time in a more steely tone. "Three men tried to kill your Kane last night," Trevor started to say carefully. "And you'll tell me who sent them." "In return, I want you to teach me how to..." Trevor hesitated, but what was pride now? "How to be like you. I met a guy, Julian, and I want something that is just like you and Kane have." "Okay, who sent them?" "That guy who you almost killed for Kane." Trevor saw Julian's smug look. "You knew." "Yeah. But our deal still stands. You always were my best student." "I'm your only student." Trevor sighed. "I used to think that you were a fool to find squeamishness in the kill. But I also envied you. You were the coolest assassin I knew, and it ate at me that I was never good enough to be one. Now I envy you, for different reasons." Julian tucked his gun in the holster at his belt. "They will want you dead for what you did to Antoine. You will bring danger to your man. Can you live with that?" "That's where you can help me." Julian shook his head and gave a sigh/chuckle. "Fine. I'll send you a to friend of mine. Brian Littrell knows all about handling this type of mess, better than me." He pushed a business card in Trevor's shirt pocket, and turned to leave. And Trevor walked beside him easily, as if they had done this so many times before. "I heard that you killed two of those men with a knife. Not your style." "That was Kane who did them in." Pride surfaced in Julian's voice as he said that. "He took them down like a pro." He made a slitting motion with his hand. "I couldn't have taught him any better. So, Trev, tell me about this guy who made you see the light." Trevor pushed his hands into his jeans pocket and told Julian. And they walked into the night, like two long-time friends discussing the most innocent of ordinary subjects. Nicky opened his eyes when someone switched on the light. "I'm sorry," Trevor said as he switched it off again. "I didn't hear you sleeping on the couch." "Hah, I bet you can see and hear me even in the dark," Nicky said. Trevor eased himself beside Nicky on the couch. "That's right, so I can. Are you staying up for me?" "No." "Hah, I bet you were." Trevor grinned as he saw Nicky's face in the dim light from the outside through the window. "Afraid I won't come back?" "Yeah. Maybe." Nicky pulled the blankets up to his neck. "Why should you? You don't know me, and you'll soon realize what a loser I am. Clumsy, awkward, socially inept, that's me, you know. I'm only good at making people laugh at me." "You make me laugh, but it's a good sort of laugh. Let me be honest, Nicky. You know I'm not a nice or even normal guy. In you, I see a wildness, some uncontrollable passion for so many things you can never have. I can understand that wildness. Let me give you those things you want, Nicky." Trevor touched Nicky's lips, silencing him. "I can't make you funny, handsome, charming, or give you many friends who will make you laugh and be happy. What I can give you is me, what money I have, and my confession that to me, you are funny, handsome, charming, and I will be the friend who will try my best to make you laugh and be happy. Nicky? Will that be enough?" He removed his fingers. "I... it sounds g-g-great," Nicky said shakily. "No one has ever said things like that to me before, and I need some time to readjust my thoughts." He sobbed as Trevor kissed away a tear falling down Nicky's cheek. "I'm sorry I'm not a charming and normal guy that will give you a normal life you deserve," Trevor said softly. "But you are all I ever dream of, Trev," Nicky reassured him. "Wait until I tell Marc about this. James will eat envy as he sees me with a hunky, splendid catch like you. Goddamn fuck, this is... hell, this is... I... Hell!" He just let out a whoop instead. Trevor watched, the cracks in him spreading all across the icy wall of his soul until it finally shattered to pieces. Warmth, unfamiliar warmth flooded him, and he knew he had done the right thing, this wanting Nicky. Nicky was his. Only his, as he was Nicky's. "You sure, Nicky? I'm a sick, cruel man. It's an until death do we part, and even then I will fight all the demons of hell and break down the gates of heaven just to claim you back. You want that? You want me?" One last chance. Nicky traced the scars along Trevor's left cheek with his hand. His brand. His mark. "Yeah. Besides, where else will I get so much good sex?" Trevor laughed, hiding his relief and that sole tear from his eyes by pushing Nicky down the couch and kissing him hard. As he plunged his cock into Nicky, as he fucked the man hard, he sealed their fates and heralded a new phase of his life where he tried to be a normal guy who was Nicky's everything. He never succeeded in the former, but he succeeded most wonderfully in the latter. Not that Nicky minded the failure - but that was another story.