THE GENTLEMEN'S CLUB Alexandre Written by Lady Poetess egiggles at moose-mail.com /~bbp Please do not reproduce on any website without permission. This story has no resemblance to anyone dead or alive. ONE "Hey, Despatie, you wanna come or not? We're gonna start the bash without you." Michael Phelps called out over the noise in the bar. "You're still not hung over Athens, are you?" Alexandre Despatie gave his friend the finger and a grin before turning his back to the man. "Start without me," he mouthed to Michael and then laughed into the phone. "Don't ever do that shitty dive again on me, Alex," the voice at the other end said. "I won't, TL," Alex answered. "Will you forgive me?" "Is something troubling you? I wanted to ask but I never had the chance after the platforms and you left before I could find the opportunity - " Alex's free hand traced the edge of the collar of his T-shirt as he leaned against the wall and couldn't help but to smile. Dear Tian Liang, his nemesis in the pool and the only man who cared enough to ask about Alex's well-being. His coach blasted him for that unforgivably bad dive in round five that cost him a bronze medal and everyone in the Canadian dive circuit let their disappointment at him evident. He wasn't going to complain to TL though. Mathew, that fucking son of a bitch they'd both hate if Mathew weren't friends with them, sneaked in with a stunning dive that grabbed him a silver medal, causing TL to be bumped down to third. It was bad enough to lose to a cocky team mate poised to steal TL's place as the darling of the Chinese dive contingent, but TL received a less forgiving reception than Alex's own handlers when he got a bronze medal instead of a silver medal. Alex was bitter over his performance but he knew he had it easier than TL. The warmth of TL's palms on his back was still fresh in his mind, as was the comforting embrace TL quickly gave Alex at the end of the platform finals more than a month ago before TL was whisked along by his people. Alex had watched from the sidelines, abandoned by his own people, as TL sat isolated in his seat, the man's face in his hands, and Alex wanted to run across the hall and somehow drive away TL's disappointment. He'd let his tongue trace the contours of TL's lips and they'd find a bed where they would make love at leisure like he'd always wanted them to instead of the quick, furtive couplings in between tournaments behind their strict handlers' backs. They would meet again when the international diving tournament season began next year but Alex couldn't bear to wait and in the meantime having to settle with only their rare telephone calls. "Why don't we quit diving?" he asked TL on impulse. "We can finally see each other more often, babe, and we don't have to keep pretending anymore. I want to see you every day, TL," Alex confessed as he pressed his forehead against the wall. It was easier than he expected to convey what he had kept repressed inside his heart and the relief of freeing these emotions cut through the rigid barriers protecting his heart from deviating from the rigid determination to be the king of the divers. Through years of discipline and drive, his loneliness cut down these barriers into the ground. "I cannot bear to be with you for only a few hours before we fly our separate ways." "Give up diving? Alex, have you been drinking?" Alex pressed his free hand over his forehead. "I don't drink, TL, you know that." "Yeah, I've sometimes thought about running away from everything. I would get on a plane and surprise you." "And we'll actually get to fuck more than once and actually sleep together once we're done," Alex finished for TL. "Exactly," TL said wistfully. "But we won't be happy if we quit." "I know," Alex agreed with a sigh. "Diving is in our blood." The way their minds seemed to work concurrently to the point that they often had the same thought at the same time was what made them realize a few years ago that they could be more than just bitter rivals. It started with a quick hello when they crossed each other's path and evolved into tentative chatter on the poolside benches over the months where they eventually became each other's emotional anchor. Their life of rigorous training made it difficult for them to maintain a social life and it was probably natural that they eventually became lovers. It started with a playful water fight in a pool after the Atlanta games that ended up in an unexpected kiss and their story hadn't ended yet, not if Alex had anything to do about it. "I'll drop by and visit you," Alex said. "Yeah, I'll do that," he said as his determination crystallized. "Your parents would love me." "They hate Americans and I don't think they will care that Canada is an entirely separate country," TL said in a bemused tone. "I can be very charming when I want to," Alex offered. "Come on, TL, just think, I'm near you the entire day, we can learn about each other's bad habits, and just think, man, you can have my cock and asshole anytime you want when I'm with you - me, man, the cutest diver outside China, all yours. People want me. They analyze my package on the Internet. And you get me. You're the luckiest son of a bitch in the world and you'll be fucking nuts to say otherwise." "Well, okay, come over. Book a hotel room just in case my parents don't agree." "Get your own house then, TL," Alex suggested with a chuckle. "And where will I get the money to do so?" TL asked with a snort. "You have sponsorship deals and groupies. I have to compete for the motherland. You will be a media figure once you retire. If I'm lucky, I'll be a coach and if not, I'll be working for minimum wage in an electronics factory." "Don't. Marry me. We'll be media correspondents and commentators in our own show or even start our own business," Alex said, still young enough to counter TL's fatalistic pragmatism with his own optimistic idealism. He sobered for a moment. "I'm serious about the marrying me part, TL." "Ask me again after you've met my parents." "Oh, as if such a trivial matter will change my mind," Alex said cheerfully. TWO Tian Liang owed his sexual education to Alex. He wasn't sure whether he was gay, hell, he didn't even think of being gay because such concept was outside his comprehension. He only knew that he was vaguely unhappy and his few sexual encounters with women weren't satisfactory. He assumed that it was due to an inadequacy of his part, but the size of his cock or the quality of his performance never mattered when he first fucked Alex. It was the first time he experienced an orgasm that had him shaken to the core and he threw himself into touching, tasting, and exploring every part of Alex's body with an enthusiasm he never knew he had. He might not be a virgin when he had Alex, but in a way, he might as well be. He had no other male lovers because unlike Alex, he lived in a society where gay life was non-existent unless he knew where to look and he certainly didn't know where to look. But it didn't matter because Alex was everything he had dreamed of and more. It was strange how life dealt him his cards because he never expected a rival, a non-Chinese rival especially, to step in and fill up the empty places he never knew he had inside his heart. He would never forget what Alex meant to him even in his last breath. But he also knew with increasing despair that what they both wanted could never be. Alex was destined for greater things while TL, he knew he would have to be here and play the responsible eldest son to his family. Ah, his family. His old-fashioned family would never approve of his sexuality, except perhaps his younger sister Tian Li whose exposure and embrace to Western cultures made her a constant target of the other family member's exasperation. Tian Li, who preferred to be called Lily much her parents' consternation, had pronounced Alex 'adorably cute' to TL the moment Alex walked into the Tian household. TL smiled as he stood at the kitchen doorway and watched Alex charm TL's mother like no one else could. A week ago, his family was prepared to loathe the Westerner who had the nerve to challenge TL's greatness, but from the moment Alex grinned and greeted them in passable Mandarin, he was systematically winning them over. Right now he was telling TL's mother about the antics of some former Hong Kong star expatriates in Canada and making her laugh. TL had never heard his mother laugh in a long time. She was always cooking, cleaning, and making sure that the household was functional that TL realized, with a sobering dismay, that he had long stopped viewing her as a human being and instead as someone he'd taken for granted without realizing it. Had she always had those lines around her eyes and lips? She was fifty-nine now. And she was telling Alex in halting English that Alex was "really cool". TL would bet that she caught that phrase from Alex himself. "TL, there you are!" Alex said cheerfully, spotting him. "Your mother and me have just returned from a day of shopping. I never knew that we can eat so many different parts of so many animals in this world." "Wait until you've tried my mother's stewed chicken feet," TL said with an evil smile. He squeezed back Alex's hand under the table where his mother couldn't see, for they were careful to portray themselves as just friends to everyone around them. Still, it hurt to act as if what they had was something to be ashamed of. On impulse, he gave his mother a hug. She screeched in surprise. They were never a family given to open displays of affection. TL had never heard his father tell her that he loved her in public but their love and affection were nonetheless there, a palpable force evident in how he held her hand as they crossed the street or how he just held her hand absently as they watched in the evening the wide-screen TV bought from the generous governmental compensations reaped from TL's diving successes. "I love you, Mom," he said a little awkwardly. He wasn't prone to public displays of affection, after all. She blushed and, saying that men didn't belong in the kitchen, drove both men out of the kitchen where she reigned with an iron will. "You are quiet," TL said as he hugged his ankles and rested his chin on his knees. "I told you not to sing karaoke with my father and the uncles." Alex laughed. He was always laughing, except when he was about to dive, where he was always acting as if every dive was his last chance to prove himself. "No, it's not that," he said as he climbed onto the separate bed TL's parents had set up for him in TL's bedroom. "I just realized that nearly everything in this house came from your continuous success in diving." "Yeah, things are better now," agreed TL. "Maybe one day I'll get a car." "That's why you won't have me, right, TL?" asked Alex softly. "Your family needs you and you will sacrifice your own happiness for them." "I'm sorry, Alex." "No, don't be. I expect no less from you. I am crazy about you because you are so sensible, so wise, and so responsible. It's hard to believe that you're only four years older than me because you do so much compared to me," Alex said. "And I'm cute," TL teasingly reminded him. "You love my hawk- shaped nose and my smile." Alex chuckled. "Yeah," he said. He sighed as he glanced at TL's bare torso. "It's really too bad that you don't feel comfortable fucking with your parents sleeping next door because I'm really in the mood for some hot loving, babe." TL swung a leg off his bed. "Screw my parents," he declared fiercely as he pushed his thumbs down the waistband of his shorts. "Suck my cock, Alex," he ordered. He swallowed as Alex's lips parted to take his cock in. "But let's not make too much noise," he amended before losing himself in Alex's expert cocksucking. They did a sixty-nine on TL's bed before hungrily kissing and sharing the juices each man spilled into the other's mouth. They were still kissing when TL's thick cock impaled Alex on the bed and pumped the man into a hard climax. They took turns with each other, rediscovering their bodies and pleasuring each other, lost in their private world until weariness forced them to sleep in each other's arms. Alex tried not to count the days as he ran after TL, shouting with laughter, and pounced on TL until they rolled onto the ground and ended up giggling as they looked into the each other's eyes. It was a dusty roll down the hill slope and they almost fell into the muddy ditch but all they felt was the shared bliss they had in each other's presence, playful or serious. "I'm falling in love with you," Alex murmured before burying his face in TL's shoulders and half-sighed, half-laughed. "I don't want to go home." "Training will resume in a few weeks' time and we have to forget this for a while," TL tried to say in pragmatic calm but his arms tightened around Alex. "Fuck!" The rare expletive was drawn from him for it wasn't easy to stay sensible when his heart was being torn to pieces. "Maybe it's better if we have remained rivals." "No, don't say that," Alex said with a shocked gasp. "I know this fucked-up situation we have is affecting our performances but I won't give up knowing you this way for all the gold medals in the world. We can do this. We can keep meeting like this until we retire in a few years and then we'll find a way to be together." "It doesn't feel right," TL said with a humorless smile. "But we have each other," Alex told him. "And to me, that's all that matters." He rolled off TL reluctantly to lie on the ground beside the man. Turning to look at TL, he said, "I'm glad I came. Your family is okay and I'm sure your sister suspects that we are sleeping together, but I'll fit in well. We'll fit well too, I think. I know now that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." "But my family..." TL sighed. "They would never accept a gay son. Neither would my neighbors. My family will be shamed if I come out and my career." He cursed and pressed his face into Alex's chest. "I want to be selfish, Alex, but I can't. I'm so sorry." Alex shut his eyes tight. "Yeah, me too, TL," he whispered. THREE "Are you still talking to me?" TL asked. Alex nodded and smiled weakly. "Yeah, TL. How have you been?" As he made conversation with nonchalance that he didn't feel, he bent to warm himself up. "Fine." TL hugged himself although the pool was far from cold. They both watched the crowd as Mathew Helm climbed up to the platform for his dive. "You're close to Rommel now, I see." "He's just a friend," Alex said. "Not that it's any of your business," he said, his smile letting TL know that he didn't mean that. "But yeah, we're not sleeping together if you're worried about that." "I shouldn't be. I gave up my claim on you after I asked you to let me go," TL said. Unable to look at Alex, he turned away to hide the pain in his eyes. Alex couldn't bear that. He had been furious at the way their lives were that prevented them from having a life together but he had never blamed TL for the darkness that seized him in the last half year that had him throwing himself into training with a vengeance. "You let me go," he reminded TL. "But I'm always here, TL, and you know where to find me if you want me back." He cursed and smashed his fist into the wall. "Maybe I will move on one day, but I want you to know this, TL. I don't think I will ever give anyone else what I've given you because you have the best of me." He cursed once more. "Good luck to you," he said and he had to leave. He had to walk away from TL. "I told my parents about us." Alex stopped in his tracks and turned to stare at TL in disbelief. "I told them everything. I got down on my knees and wept," TL softly whispered, "because I can't bear to live if I can't love you. You know what they said?" "I don't know. What?" Alex asked, taking a step towards TL. "They wondered when I would tell them because my parents suspected that we were more than friends quickly after they met you and saw how you were with me. They weren't pleased but they had my brother and sister to give them the grandkids they wanted so they weren't too torn up. They would like you to drop by again one of these days. My father wanted to learn some Bruce Springsteen songs for the upcoming karaoke competition." TL smiled weakly, hopefully. "So, Alex, will you take me back?" "Of course, TL," Alex whispered. He laughed as he took TL's hand and shook it. And then he gave himself up to the moment, damn whoever might be watching them, and embraced TL hard. "By the way, we may not have a problem with me coming out," TL whispered into Alex's ear. Alex looked at him questioningly. "I stumbled upon Robert Newbery fucking the shit out of Hu Jia in the changing room a few minutes ago. Not a bad way to reward Hu Jia for his tens." "But Robbie's married!" Alex exclaimed. TL shrugged without concern. "I guess the motherland can be persuaded to turn a blind eye if she wants to keep her best divers even if they happen to enjoy sleeping with men." "But TL, Robbie's married," Alex said once more. "I don't believe it. His poor wife. That bastard!" "How about me? I just got back with my boyfriend and all he cared about was my biggest rival taking it up the ass with a married man." "Biggest rival? Then what am I?" Alex demanded, giving TL a playful shove. "We'll see," TL promised. "I'm going to defeat you." Alex laughed. "Don't bet on it." TL nodded, smiling agreeably. "I think we both will do well," he said to the man he loved. And he was right.