Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 The Bathroom

   MR AND MRS SANTA

   (C)2001-9 The Bathroom

   This story was first published a few years ago, originally in three
parts.  To celebrate Christmas, The Bathroom is publishing it again,
altogether...  on one page.

   It was Christmas Eve in Santaland, and Mr and Mrs Santa were packing all
the presents ready to send to children all over the world.  They and their
helpers, the Pixiemen, were making the various games and toys that they
hope will make the little darlings happy.  They had worked so hard up to
the last moment to get the preparations done.

   While they were working, Mrs Santa had drank several cups of tea, which
inevitably led her to feel that twinge in her bladder, but she ignored it.
She did not want to go to the toilet until the work was finished.

   "OOOWWWWW!" howled Mr Santa as he tripped over one of the boxes and
fell.

   "What's the matter?" asked Mrs Santa.

   Mr Santa was nursing his ankle.  "I might be hurt," he said.  "I don't
think I'll be going out tonight!"

   "Why not?" asked Mrs Santa.  "Surely it isn't that serious?"

   However, the Pixie doctor looked at Mr Santa's ankle confirming their
worst fears.  "It's fractured," he said.  "He needs to rest off that ankle
completely."

   "But it's our busiest night of the year!" explained Mrs Santa.

   "Sorry, but he has to rest the ankle," said the Pixie doctor. 
Meanwhile, Mrs Santa felt her bladder was getting fuller.  Serves her right
for drinking all that tea.  Later in the evening, the preparations had
finished, and the boxes of presents were ready...the reindeer was ready,
but Mr Santa wasn't.  He called to his ever-faithful wife.

   "Love, you need to start delivering the presents...now!" he said.

   "But I don't know how!" Mrs Santa replied, looking worried.

   "Yes you can.  Here's the route, and the list...  off you go!" Mr Santa
said, and struggled to walk on his other good ankle to see her off from
Santaland.

   The problem for Mrs Santa in all the tension and excitement, putting on
the red uniform, hat, gloves and black boots, that she forgot to use the
toilet before she left, and now she was bursting.

   "I need to go badly, and there won't be anywhere to stop for hours!" she
thought.

   The first two hours were touch and go.  The reindeer were not going
straight forward because of the way the reins were being held.  Mrs Santa
had one hand on the reins, and the other in her crotch, and she was
fidgeting wildly.  Every time she visited a house to drop off a present,
she spent a few moments trying...  and failing...  to find a toilet.  In
doing this she fell further behind in her schedule, which meant some
children may get empty sacks this year.  Finally, Mrs Santa felt she had
enough.

   "If I don't use the toilet soon, I'm going to lose it," she thought.

   So, when she reached the next house, first of all going down the chimney
slowly, but carefully not to put too much pressure on her aching bladder.
She reached the living room of this house, first of all putting a couple of
presents under the Christmas tree, then once again started looking for a
toilet.

   Suddenly, she heard voices from outside the room.  It would be seconds
before she would be discovered.  She found a large cupboard and raced
towards it.  She opened the door, went inside, and closed it.  Two
children, a boy and a girl, walked into the room, too excited to sleep
before the big day.  they immediately saw the magic dust covering the
presents under the Christmas tree.

   "Santa's come!" they shouted, and rushed to start handling their
presents.  Then their father came in.

   "Hey you two, back to bed!" he ordered.

   Meanwhile, in the cupboard, Mrs Santa was feeling claustrophobic, as
well as being desperate to wee.  She was holding herself so tightly, and
trying not to fidget so much, but the pain was so unbearable, and her
fidgeting caused the cupboard to shake a little.  If she didn't stop
shaking, she would be discovered....

   Mrs Santa had only been in the cupboard for ten minutes, but it seemed
like eternity.  She was wondering when she could get and go for a wee.  She
was holding herself so tight, she felt that if she let go for one moment,
the wee would come out in one big torrent, soaking her red trousers.

   "Dad, the cupboard's shaking!" said a voice.  That was all she needed.
She tried to stop fidgeting, but it was increasingly difficult, because she
was desperate to wee so badly.  The two kids watched the cupboard rock from
side to side in hard, rhythmic jerks.  Mrs Santa could tell who was outside
and was heading for the cupboard and yet she could be discovered.  The
legend of Santa being a myth could be broken forever...

   "Oi!  You two!  I said, back to bed!" shouted the father again.

   "But the cupboard's shaking!" said the boy.

   "I don't care.  Back to bed.  Go on!" said the father as he herded them
back to their bedroom.

   Mrs Santa waited a couple of minutes, just to ensure that the house had
settled down before finally coming out of the cupboard.  She was bending
double and holding herself, very tightly indeed.

   "I must find a toilet, I can't wait any longer," she thought, and
started to look around the house for a toilet.

   Suddenly, she gasped, and felt a little wee seep into her knickers. 
That caused her to grab herself even tighter than before.  She heard some
footsteps....somebody was coming from the bedrooms.  Mrs Santa made a mad
dash up the chimney and landed back in her sleigh before she was caught. 
She got away with that, but she still needed to wee, and this time, it
started coming out in small squirts.  Within a few moments at this rate,
her bottom would get wet.

   Her schedule was getting later and later as she was having trouble
delivering the presents to the children as well as trying not to flood
herself.  Then she had an idea.  She called the Lead Pixieman back on
Santaland.

   "Hello, what's the problem?" asked the Lead Pixieman.

   "Hi, it's Mrs Santa.  I'm behind schedule, could you get some of your
men to help me?" she asked.

   "Sure, I'll send you five of my men over right away," replied the Lead
Pixieman.

   "Could you do me another favour?  Could you send me a large container as
well?" Mrs Santa asked.  "The reason for this is that I am so desperate to
take care of my current problem.  If I don't , then I'm going to have a bad
accident!" She wasn't wrong.  She needed to get rid of her wee...  and
soon.

   About half an hour later, Mrs Santa had to stop.  She was still
squirting wee in her trousers, and as a result, a small wet patch formed in
the crotch area of her trousers.  She landed with the reindeer in an open
field, and frantically got out.  She ran to the nearest woods, where she
thought she would be shielded from prying eyes.  It should be easy, as it's
almost Christmas, and most people should be in bed.  She struggled to pull
her red trousers down and squatted to get ready for some much needed
relief.

   However, she suddenly heard barking noises.  She looked up to see a
Golden Labrador dog had been barking at the reindeer, and as a result, they
were getting nervous.  She immediately pulled up her trousers without
weeing and ran straight back to help the reindeer fend off the dog.  She
struggled for a few minutes trying to chase the dog away.

   "Oi!" said a voice.  "What's going on here?"

   For the second time, Mrs Santa looked like she was going to be
discovered, so she got back into the sleigh and rode off, leaving the dog
to continue barking.  That was close, but she still needed a wee....  and
the wetness in her crotch was getting bigger....  Mrs Santa was on the
verge of losing it now.

   After the second near escape, she wanted to wee so badly, and needed to
stop somewhere, some place where she couldn't be found.  She was leaking
wee involuntarily, and as a result, she was getting a very damp crotch and
bottom in her red uniform.  She had one hand in her crotch all the time at
this point, never wanting to let go completely until she found a place to
wee.

   "That's it, I've had enough of this!"

   Mrs Santa simply had to land again and let go the rest of her leaking
wee.  She landed with the reindeer in another field, just to make sure it
was miles away from other people, then she walked gingerly with one hand in
her crotch to go behind a wall of a deserted cottage.

   At last, she was able to relieve herself...  but for the fact that the
zip of her trousers was now stuck!  She tried tugging at it several times
to get it to move, but it didn't work.  She started fidgeting wildly whilst
trying to unblock the zip.

   "Oh, goodness, not now, please!" she mumbled to herself.

   But it was too late.  Another spurt of wee came to dampen her trousers
and this time she couldn't stop, so she stood on the spot, widened her legs
a little, and just let the wee flow down her legs, soaking her trousers. 
She couldn't see the wee forming underneath her because of the darkness,
but she heard the splashing sound.  She breathed a huge sigh of relief for
letting go, but was embarrassed about it as well.  What was she going to do
about the wet trousers and having to explain what happened to her husband
that evening?

   Somehow, the Lead Pixieman and five other Pixies came out and offered to
help Mrs Santa.  To her horror, one of them saw her damp trousers.

   "Ohhh, you've wet yourself!" he said, and the others, looking towards
the wet trousers, started to tease her.

   "Hey, our job is to deliver presents to the children, not to mess
about!" the Lead Pixieman shouted at them, and ordered them to get on the
sleigh and get to work.  Then he turned to Mrs Santa.

   "I don't think you'll need this container now," he said.  "I know,
thanks.  I was on the verge of going in my trousers anyway.  I blame my
husband for this!" she joked, and they both laughed.

   They all jumped on the sleigh and made up for lost time by travelling
quicker than normal.  In the end, the work was done....  Just about, and
they headed back home to Santaland just before sunrise on Christmas
morning.

   Later, at present opening time, Mr Santa thanked his loving wife for all
she had done.

   "Here's a small gift to you, my dear," he said, holding out a tiny
package.

   Mrs Santa opened it...  it was a novelty toilet.  She clearly felt
embarrassed about the choice of present.  Some of the Pixieman sniggered in
secret....  The story of her wetting herself may have been heard right
across most of Santaland.