The Passion of Erika Christensen Chapter 3- Inauguration by AchtungNight (DougElder21@yahoo.com). Disclaimer/FAQ: Due to its themes and content, this story should only be read by responsible adults willing and able to judge it fairly. The story may bear some relation to actual history, but it has been edited via the writer's lens and thus become fiction. You are encouraged to sharpen your mind by figuring out the difference. Any actual people or events included in the story are not reflected the way they exist in reality, no matter the resemblance. The inclusion of said people and events in the story is not meant as anything more or less than an tribute to them that is dramatic, tragic, comedic, and above all honest and appropriate to the tale. Any characters, themes, or concepts herein that did not originate with this writer belong to their respective creators and are used as similar tribute to those folk. Opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone and you have the inalienable right to disagree with them. Your opinion of this story and the issues it discusses I leave up to you. I just hope you find something to enjoy. This story may be posted anywhere on the Net that has my permission and is free to access for the average adult viewer. I acknowledge all who helped me create and publish this story, thank them deeply, and welcome others to join their ranks. Please send feedback if you like the story enough to have an opinion of it worth discussing- I will be glad to respond. Author's Notes: This chapter of the series serves as an ending to something I no longer wish to explore. Thanks to all who read and aided the creation of this story and all my other celebrity erotica- it was a fun ride, but it's over now. I hope your enjoyment never dries up. - AN *********************************** The Passion of Erika Christensen Chapter 3- Inauguration October 2003. London, England. It is hard to concentrate when you are being eaten out skillfully by a beautiful redhead. This Erika Christensen was learning firsthand. She lay naked in a pile of cushions, her equally undressed friend Alicia Witt's head buried between her legs. One of Alicia's hands was squeezing and caressing at each of Erika's thighs while her tongue licked the space between. Up and down, side to side, lingering for a moment on the clitoris and then stabbing past it and within. "Ahh!!" Erika screamed as Alicia hit a key spot, her hands grabbing at her breasts. She flicked her thumbs at her nipples and rubbed their undersides, at the same time opening her legs wider as Alicia leaned in. The other actress held them steady, licking in circles now and varying her speed so as to hold Erika off. Good, Erika thought, shaking out her long curly blonde hair. You're learning well for someone who's only been doing this about three weeks. But of course you're a prodigy, so you've always been a fast learner. She grinned, reflecting on their relationship's history while the licking went on. Erika and Alicia had known each other for almost two years. They had met at a movie premiere, and found themselves linked by common interests and personality traits. Both were actresses, young, and experienced with the Hollywood scene. Neither was that famous, nor was becoming so important to them. Instead they merely wanted to experience as much of life as they could, and they each saw acting as the best way to do that their talents allowed. Their friendship was a somewhat distant one, the circumstances of their careers keeping them apart, but they had still regularly been able to make time to see one another and hang out. Alicia's always seen in me the kind of actress she wanted to be, Erika thought. Every role I've ever done in films, TV shows, and music has been memorable. I've never failed to get acclaim, from critics or fans. At the time we met, my career was recovering from a downturn, while hers was in the middle of one. She was becoming disillusioned with Hollywood, taking fewer and fewer parts as her movies either bombed, got flamed by critics, or both. Her TV career was similar, the appearances small and far between. Even when she got praised, people just weren't allowing Alicia to hang around long. Or she got cable movies that were seen by few and not that great. Her love life was equally disappointing. Then she met me. Someone younger than she was, and apparently happier. I was so sure of myself I was able to tell off major Hollywood players trying to suggest to me what I should do with my fame and barely bat an eye. I got hurt, but I never let it seem to get me down. I stayed out of the spotlight, but still attracted a good amount of notice and praise in the same sort of roles she used to do as a child. I also seemed wiser about the world than she was, and more content with it. All these things kept Alicia interested in being around me. Even as our career paths diverged, even as she moved to London to get away from the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles, even as my career continued to do well while hers stayed pretty slow. Just recently, we got closer. Alicia and I were cast in the same film, a drama called The Upside of Anger. We formed a sexual relationship with our co-stars, Keri Russell and Evan Rachel Wood. I didn't know they were swingers before it began, I was only trying to make friends with them. Alicia knew I was into the lifestyle, but she kept it secret. Until, that is, we let Keri and Evan seduce us both. Something really great was formed that day, and it continues now. Erika grinned as one of Alicia's hands came up across her waist, rubbed at her stomach and chest. She caressed its wrist with her own hand, then leaned down and stroked Alicia's hair. She recalled how their latest coupling had begun. Another day off from filming, not much to do. I was hanging out here at our favorite London club, discussing philosophy with the manager. Then Alicia came up to me, said she needed to talk to me about something in private. I was happy to oblige- I've been a confessor for her since the day we met. Doug gave us one of the VIP rooms, and then as soon as we got up here Alicia started giving me one hot kiss after another. I eagerly returned them, and pretty soon we ended up in our current condition. You could have just said you wanted to do it with me, Erika chuckled to herself, looking over Alicia's pale freckled flesh. Inside Out is a swingers' haven- no one would have minded. There are many people at the club who know who we are- how can they not?- but I doubt any of them would have dared to call the tabloids. But of course you're still paranoid and naive about all this. Oh well, we'll work on that. I know from personal experience that the more one gets involved in this, the braver they get. You obviously still have a ways to go. She gasped as Alicia's tongue jabbed into her, pleasure welling up from within her body as juice flooded out. "Yes!!" Erika cried out, feeling something rise and wash over her. "Yes!!" Alicia lapped more eagerly as she crested, her hands pressing hard against Erika's thigh and hip. "Ahh!!!" Erika flung her head from side to side, crying out again and then closing her mouth as the emotion died away. Great, she thought, though not that intense. Of course, I'm sure that was only the first one. We have all night to give each other more before we have to go back to our ordinary lives. Alicia took her mouth away from Erika's pussy and smiled, pulling her slim body up alongside Erika's lush one. She leaned in and kissed Erika, who lapped eagerly at the essence on her lips. The redhead met Erika's tongue with her own, then broke their kiss, smiling. Erika smiled back. "Thanks," she said. "Shall I do you?" Her hand moved towards her friend, but Alicia stopped it with a grab. "Later. I need you to tell me about something." Uh oh, Erika thought. This was just a prelude, only not the sort I thought. Please don't say you're considering giving this up again, Alicia. You've been enjoying it so much. So have the rest of us. I know you were reluctant in the beginning, you always have been, but didn't we talk you out of that? Come on! She blinked her blue eyes, then looked into Alicia's brown ones. "What's the matter? You know you can talk to me about anything- what is it?" Alicia grimaced. "You remember the first time we kissed?" Erika nodded, thinking back. *** Feburary 2002. Los Angeles, CA. "Man," Alicia said, opening her apartment door and stepping through. "What a drag of a night this has been." Erika shook her head in agreement, following. They had been going out to the clubs of Los Angeles as they often did, trying to pick up guys. Alicia had suffered a recent breakup, and was looking to jump back in the pool with both feet. Erika was trying to help her out, and maybe score something for herself too. But for some reason none of the guys they'd spoken to that night had been interested. No one had asked them to dance, and those they'd asked had declined. They had tried many possibles, but none had been successful. Maybe we should have reminded them about the movies we've been in, Erika thought. Neither Alicia or I have had anything come out in a while, so they didn't recognize us. So perhaps if we'd reminded them of Traffic or Vanilla Sky... No, she grimaced. That might have not worked either. The guys might not have seen those movies, and even if they did, they might not have believed us. Then, of course, even if they believed us, not everyone is into movie stars. Nah, it's probably better that we didn't try that. Alicia's right, sucky night. Unless... A thought occurred to her and she grinned. "Thanks for driving me home," Alicia said, turning to face Erika after shutting the door. "I'll see you again this weekend, we can keep trying. Maybe we'll have better luck soon." Erika nodded and held up her hand. This is the perfect opportunity, she thought. I've known her long enough, I like her, I can't let it go. "Alicia, wait. We can still have fun tonight." Alicia frowned. "What do you mean?" Erika smirked, then leaned close to the taller girl and stood up slightly, extending her arms. She took hold of Alicia's face and kissed her lips, sparking a gasp from the redhead. Alicia's hands rose almost instantly, grabbing Erika's shoulders and pushing hard at them. Oh no, Erika thought, sensing her resistance. Don't do that! You have to like this. Come on! She kept her lips on Alicia's, her fingers stroking the other girl's cheeks. Alicia seemed to echo her fervor, and Erika smiled, opening her mouth. Her tongue moved forward, tapped at the wall of Alicia's lips. They did not part, however. Instead, Alicia shook her head and pulled away, a shocked look on her face. Shit, Erika thought. "I'm sorry," she said, taking a step back from Alicia. "Was I too fast? I..." Alicia stopped her with a raised hand, still looking bemused. "What made you think you could do that?" "Uh..." Erika stammered. Get a hold of yourself!, she commanded her insides. "I've known you for two months, we're good friends, we didn't have any other options tonight, and..." "I'm not into that, Erika." Erika's mouth fell open. "You gotta be kidding me! All the lesbian movies you've been in? Fun, Four Rooms, Gen 13..." "I was acting!" Alicia turned away from her, grimacing and putting a hand to her mouth. She dropped it, then turned back to Erika. "I never thought you..." Damn it, Erika said to herself. I really jumped too fast here. "I'm sorry. You know I swing, right? I've told you I'm not exclusive with anyone." "But you didn't tell me you were..." Alicia shook her head. "I probably should have asked. I'm sorry, Erika. I'm sorry." Erika stared at her. "So you're not into women? I thought when you smiled at those lesbians who came up to us last week and said they loved you in Fun..." "I was humoring them! I gave them an autograph, then they left. I'm not... I like guys, Erika." "That's not a problem. I like guys too. I just also like..." "But I don't!" Your kiss made me think otherwise for a second, Erika almost said. Then she shook her head, discarding the idea. Geena warned you about this, she reminded herself. You've role-played the possibility with her and your other girlfriends. You could use the tactics you've developed, but they might not work. You don't want to drive Alicia away. Besides, you've been rejected before and still stayed friends with the girl, right? Try that here. "I'm really sorry," she sighed. She raised her hand to tap Alicia's shoulder, then dropped it. "I thought you'd be into it. I should have asked you first, I guess." Alicia nodded, calming down. "It's alright. You just... shocked me. I thought there were no gay Scien..." "There are," Erika cut off the common misconception. "We just don't get as much press as the people who have problems with homosexuality." "I see." Alicia choked back a laugh. "I should have expected this. The conversation you and Tom Cruise were having when we met..." "Right," Erika grinned. "People like him and people like me have had a lot of disagreements." Alicia laughed. "You'll never stop surprising me, will you?" "I hope not," Erika said. "Listen, it's okay that you're not into it. I shouldn't have pushed you. Still friends?" "Of course," Alicia said, putting her hands together. She looked at the door. "I'm just tired after tonight. I'll call you tomorrow?" "Sure," Erika replied. "See you then." She opened the door and walked out, trying hard not to look back. *** October 2003. London, England. That incident set the tone for our whole relationship, Erika thought. From then on we were at a distance. You still talked to me, even discussed your fantasies with me, but you were always too scared to take things further. I told you a lot about the swinging I've done, I even set you up with some of the guys I know who are also into it. No matter what I did, things never worked out. You confessed to considering the idea of women sometimes, and thinking hard about it, maybe even liking it, but things never went farther than that. You wouldn't trust yourself, or me. I always hated that, but I did my best to ignore it and stay friends with you. And eventually, once we met Keri, things paid off. "You're not feeling guilty about that, are you?" she asked Alicia. "We've more than made up for it. And if it's that you lied to Keri, we can..." Alicia put a finger to her lips. "I talked to Keri last night, apologized for lying. She'd already guessed. We came to an understanding." The redhead smiled. "When I mentioned our kiss, she told me an interesting theory. Want to hear it?" "Sure." "She said I wasn't into you intially because you remind me of the first serious lesbian I acted alongside. Or, correction, the co-star I thought was a serious lesbian. Once I met her, I found out sex was more of a spectacle to her than anything else." "And it's not that to me," Erika said. We've discussed Madonna's effect on Alicia before, she mused. I personally think she's overreacting a bit, but then I've never met Madonna, so I don't really know. I can see how Keri would see similarities between us, though. We're both blonde, singers as well as actresses, and into religions lots of people find weird. There are plenty of differences, but... "Keri reminded me more of Renee Humphrey, the first girl I was really close to in a movie," Alicia went on. "Someone who was more of a friend offscreen too. Therefore it was easier for me to get intimate with her. I had never even thought of getting with Renee that way, but..." She laughed. "It sort of makes sense, don't you think?" "Yeah," Erika agreed. "Look, I'm not mad about you pushing me away in the beginning. I understand why you did. You don't have to apologize to me." "Thank you," Alicia said. She paused, looking away and then back at Erika. "I do want to know something, though." Erika reached out and put a hand on her breast, squeezed and stroked it. "Are you wondering whether or not I really like this? Please. You know how I feel about faking." Alicia grinned at her attention, then pushed the hand away carefully. She took a breath. "I want to know how you got into this, Erika." She gestured at their naked bodies. "Sex with other women, I mean. I've never asked you about it before- I just took your interest in it at face value. I didn't want to risk alienating you- I value our friendship so much." "You know me better than that," Erika said. She leaned close and kissed Alicia. "So you want to hear about my origin as a bisexual?" Alicia nodded. "Yes. I know Keri's and Evan's, but not yours. You don't have to tell me about how you first got with guys, I know about that too. It's just..." She sighed. "It was a surprise to me when I found out you also liked women. If I know how it started, and I see enough similarities..." "You'll feel more comfortable with being into it yourself," Erika guessed. Alicia nodded again in reply. Geez, Erika thought, this is going to be a pretty big story. She took a breath. "Well, it all began with my first starring role." *** September 2001. Los Angeles, CA. "You know, I've been thinking..." Deanna Cartwright said nervously, pacing back and forth in the gazebo. Her head wound was particularly bothering her today, as was every aspect of her trauma. Very few people seemed to understand how she felt, or even care enough to visit her in the hospital. The girl I'm talking to now does, she reminded herself, even if she often doesn't act like it. And I have to get the information I need out of her. It's very important. She frowned and began again. "I haven't really seen you around school with boys. Well, I've only really seen you with one boy, and I was wondering about..." Alicia Browning raised an eyebrow and stood up as Deanna stammered. Her harsh heavily made up features posed a sharp contrast to Deanna's pale unadorned dimples, as did her tall slim body to Deanna's lush one, and her punkish garb to Deanna's more casual clothes. The only obvious similarities between the two of them were that they were about the same age and both had long pale blonde hair. And we're friends, Deanna added. Maybe we weren't before, we barely knew each other, but we're friends now. She looked at the other girl, smiling and then turning away. "I was wondering about your feelings... how you felt about..." The Goth girl cut her off, smirking. "How I felt about boys?" "No!" Deanna replied, grimacing again. "I mean... your feelings towards..." She stopped and took a breath. "I'm asking you something that's really hard for me to ask." Her companion shrugged and stepped closer to her. "Well, let me, uh, make it easy for you." "What..." Deanna started to say, but was cut off as the other girl leaned in, grabbed her face, and kissed her hard on the mouth. Oh my God, Erika Christensen silently gaped, shaking as her co-star's lips attached to hers. She kept her lips closed, surprised by what she felt. The tenderness, the rebellion, the... I like this, she thought as Busy Phillips kept their kiss strong, starting to open her mouth. Suddenly the trilling of a nearby bird caught her attention. Damn it!, Erika remembered the script. Stay in character! She threw up her hands and pushed herself away from Busy, frowning. "What the hell are you doing?!" Busy threw up her hands. "It sounded like you were asking me if I was into girls!" "Well, I wasn't!" Her co-star grinned, looking her up and down. "Which probably means that you're into girls." "Well, I'm not!" Deanna, the committed virgin, declared. Never mind that I might be, Erika added in a corner of her mind. She wiped at her lips, trying to both savor the experience and get rid of it. "Geez, if you wanted to know, you could have just asked me!" "Well, you could have just lied!" Busy said. "It was the only way to be sure. But, hey, you didn't kiss me back, so you got nothing to worry about." "I guess," Erika fumed. Shut up, she ordered her inner voice. This movie isn't about lesbians, never mind that kiss and all the other overtones. It's about the school shooting in which Busy's character and I were involved, the event that brought us together and its effects on us as well as the rest of our community. I'm supposed to be discussing those effects with her, trying to get information from her about the shooting so Detective van Zandt can know whether or not she was involved. I'm sure she wasn't, but the fact that she knew the perpetrator and walked away uninjured when so many others died... She grimaced and continued the scene, keeping her own emotions at bay and throwing herself into her role as she always did. Even when Busy exploded with rage, calling her character a "fucking stupid drama queen," Erika reacted as she was supposed to, gesturing in apology and speaking her lines. The meaner her co-star got, the sunnier she tried to be. At the scene's climax, Busy stormed off and she fell to her knees, choking back a sob. "Cut!" Paul Ryan yelled. Erika waited for the camera to click off before looking up in expectation. The director of her latest movie stared back at her for a moment, deep in thought, then nodded. "Print. That was perfect." Erika smiled. "Really?" She and Busy had been struggling with a lot of their scenes. "Yes," Paul nodded. "Great reaction to the kiss, Erika. Shock, curiosity, revulsion but keeping the friendship. The audience will love that. And Busy, you're doing well too. If you're planning on putting half the effort into the delivery of your Dawson's Creek lines that you're doing here..." He grinned. "I think you'll give that show the ratings boost it needs." "Thanks," Busy said, walking back towards Erika from offstage. "So we gonna shoot another scene now or..." "You two deserve a break," Paul said. "Take an hour, then report to the hospital set. We'll get set up for the morgue scene. I hope you two are ready for that, it's very important. Again, good job on the kiss." He turned away to confer with some of the techs. Busy sat down beside Erika but did not look at her. She was silent for a moment, then sighed. "Thank God we got that over with, huh?" Erika blinked. "You mean the kiss?" She'd thought Busy had liked it as much as she had, but from the look on her co-star's face... "Yeah. We didn't rehearse it. I was worried." Erika nodded, recalling the conversation Ryan had had with them about the scene their first day of shooting. It was the first lesbian kiss in a movie for both actresses, and Ryan had been concerned they wouldn't want to do it. Busy had given him a long argument about how it seemed gratuitous and unnecessary to the plot. Ryan had countered that it showed how close their characters were getting while still showing the distance between them. It was a good buildup for the later scenes where Busy's character would talk Erika's out of suicide and then later cry at graduation with Deanna running to comfort her as the credits started to crawl. Erika had stayed silent during the discussion. She'd had her own angst about the kiss she didn't want to air. I've thought about kissing girls for a long time, she mused. I read about it growing up and it intrigued me. As I went through my teenage years, I fantasized about it every now and then. I never could get up the courage to actually try it, though. No one ever asked me. Then, of course, it's supposed to be wrong. I've never thought it was wrong, but I was still scared. Would I like kissing a girl? Would I want to go further? Would she want to? I can do it with guys, that's easy, but with girls... That's why I agreed when Busy proposed we not rehearse the kiss, only our lines. We'd do it for the camera and hopefully get it right then, not worry about it any more than that. I thought this arrangement would preserve the feelings I was supposed to have about the kiss onscreen too. But now... Erika smiled, looking at Busy. She's pretty, Erika thought, and she's been a good friend despite the differences between us. We have different backgrounds, different careers. She likes the WB's teenage soap operas, especially the really popular one she just got a recurring role in. I prefer the more intriguing down to earth supernatural dramas like Buffy and Felicity, the shows the station is starting to take off the air. Busy's also more uptight than I am, and a bit of a bitch. But I've still become as much friends with her as I have with any of my previous co-stars. So maybe... "You did good," she told Busy. "I liked it." Busy gaped. "You..." She shut her mouth, looking away. "That's very nice, Erika." Erika reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. "Didn't you like it?" Busy turned back to her and glared. Erika frowned, then dropped her eyes. Busy leaned in and adjusted the bandanna covering the supposed scar on her forehead, and she looked back up. The other girl wore a confused expression. "I have a boyfriend, okay?" she said. "We were acting, that's all it was. Don't think that..." "I don't," Erika interrupted her with a sigh. "You're not into me, are you?" "I'm into guys, Erika!" Busy insisted, laughing. She shook her head, looking Erika up and down. "You are pretty, and talented. You're a good friend. But I don't like girls, okay? Kissing you felt... weird." Erika smiled. "I like weird." Busy gaped at her, then rolled her eyes. "Well then, more power to you. I'm just glad we got it done." This film is driving her nuts, Erika mused. Me too. 18-hour shooting days, tight budget, serious committment expected. But it's all worth it. This movie has so much meaning, so many great messages and themes. It's an independent film about a controversial subject, so it's not going to get much distribution, but it's still going to be very good. Too bad its release will probably be delayed thanks to what happened last week. Stupid terrorists. Stupider idiots who indulge in the sort of censorship the terrorists do their dirty deeds in part to promote. I really hope we get those bastards good and fast. The victims deserve nothing less. Then we'll be able to get back to our lives and put out all the good movies that are being pushed back thanks to the event. We need to do that, instead of spending a lot of time whining about the event and why it happened. It happened, nothing can change that. Let's go get the bastards and move on. She sighed, wondering if she was having such thoughts because of the ending of her current film. "See you in a while," Busy said, standing up. "I gotta hit the restroom." "See you," Erika said, looking away. I'm really going nuts right now, she thought. And all because of this film. I'm really putting myself into this role, giving it so much of my own pain, and I'm afraid it won't be liked or seen when it should be. Then of course there's all the flack people have been giving me about the character. You shouldn't do this role, they say. Deanna has mental problems, and talks to psychiatrists. What the heck is wrong with that? I'm showing people what real-life shooting victims go through by playing Deanna. Post-traumatic stress disorder is not a myth, it's very real and very serious. And psychiatrists can help people with it and similar problems- the victims I talked to about this movie showed me how. This role is an incredible challenge to me, and important too. I have to play it. I have to show the critics I can do more than just a wholesome schoolgirl or a drug addict, and show the fans that I'm not the sort of bland blonde It Girl some think I am. That, and of course by being in this film I can show people I'm not all about Scientology. So many people think I am, just because of my upbringing. They need to see that I support other values too, that I'm really more into acting, charity, and rebellion than any religious stuff. Yeah, I'm moral, don't get me wrong, but... It's your swinging, Erika told herself with a sigh. You got into it to work out your personal problems with loneliness, but you haven't been able to do it in so long. You got afraid you were getting too much into it, decided to cut back. You also told your family a little about what you'd been doing, tried to alleviate any possible problems that might result if they discovered it. They cautioned you, made you feel guilty even though they didn't say to stop doing it. Then you got this role, and so many people started grumbling about it. On top of that, there's the film's schedule, and the delays, and... I just can't relax with all this. It needs to go well. It has to. If it doesn't... Shut up, she told her inner voice. This movie is great! Once it comes out, the fans and critics will see it and like it. Even the people in Columbine to whom it's dedicated will like it, hopefully. You won't have to worry so much, you'll be proud of what you did. And who cares if your religion's more traditional followers are giving you flack about the person you are? They don't know what's true for you, they never really can no matter how much they say. You have to find and live your own destiny, you've always known that. You're doing what's meaningful to you, what's fun and right. You should stop worrying, like Isaac keeps telling you. Just live your life. Relax, grow, and be happy. Your life hasn't been that bad, you really should be able to. But I can't, she sighed, looking at the ground. A voice caught her attention. "What's the matter?" Erika looked up to see her other co-star in the film standing beside her. Victor Garber was frowning, though he was well-dressed and patrician as always. Victor's become a good friend to me, Erika recalled. Prior to this film we never saw each other in anything, but we bonded quickly once we started working together. We got close for our roles, as we had to be- he's Detective van Zandt. He's also been involved in acting for a long time, and given me a lot of advice on it. He's big on building relationships and working hard on characterization, like me. We both like to go for diversity and challenge. He's also been telling me about this spy show he has that's coming out this fall. It sounds great. JJ Abrams, one of my favorite WB writers, created it. Victor's going to star in it, and lots of other good actors too. I'm surprised they're not delaying its premiere because of what happened last week, but I'm glad. I can hardly wait to sit down and watch. "It's nothing," she told Victor with a shrug. "Just thinking about my life." Victor nodded in understanding. "There's a lot going on, isn't there? Listen, Erika, I heard you and Busy talking just now and I..." He paused. "I probably don't need to be saying this, but you have nothing to worry about. It's okay if you like kissing girls." Erika grinned. He thinks I'm thinking about that, she chuckled to herself. Was I? No, I guess I was trying not to. I wonder why. I liked it so much, but... "I know it's okay," she said. "I don't have a problem with it. I've just never done it before, and it felt good, so..." She waved her hand. "Busy said it was just acting- she's right. I shouldn't get into it. This film will be over soon." "Right, and if you get caught up in a moment, you'll get in trouble. The mission is what matters, Erika. You can't let anything distract you. Right now our mission is to finish this film." "Yeah," she agreed. Then she sighed, emotion coming back into her mind. "Still, though..." Talk to him, Erika told herself. You and Victor have discussed Hollywood life a lot, and dating in particular. He's been active on the acting and dating scenes for years, never scored that big in either, but his experience has been beneficial to you. He's become as much a source of wisdom as your usual confessors who you're cut off from right now thanks to this film. You have to get your feelings out, and he's here. Talk to him. "Victor, can I tell you about something private?" "Of course," he said, looking around and nodding when he saw no one was paying them much attention. "What is it?" "Well, you know how I'm breaking out in the public eye right now, but my career's still pretty slow?" Victor nodded, and Erika continued. "It was causing me frustration, and, well, until this film, I was getting out that frustration by dating a lot of different guys. I got into some pretty serious relationships. I'm trying to keep it secret for obvious reasons." Victor frowned. "I see." He sat down and looked at Erika, his expression distant but interested. "I've stopped dating for a while because of this film," Erika went on. "And now, given what I just did... it's got me curious. I've never kissed a girl before. I've thought about it a lot, and read about it, and seen movies, but... no one's ever asked me, and I haven't been able to get up the nerve to try. I didn't know if I'd like it or not. Now I know I do, and... I'm just not sure what to do next." Victor thought about her words for a second before replying. "My advice is to forget it. We have a film to finish." "I know, but afterwards..." Erika sighed. "I have a few friends I could talk to about this, but I'm not sure any of them would understand. I grew up mostly alone, and I don't really have any regular girlfriends." I could talk to Isaac about this, she thought, or Dean, or one of the other people I usually chat with about sex, but would they really be able to get what I'm feeling? I don't know. Victor nodded again. "I see. Well, what about someone in your family or..." He frowned, looking away. Then he turned back to Erika. "You'd want to talk to someone who felt like you do right now at an age close to what you are now, right? Someone who has experience with similar feelings and might be able to shed some insights?" "Yeah." Erika frowned. "I don't really know any lesbians, though, or bisexuals." Except Kelly, she added to herself. But I'm not sure I want to go to her about this. We have too many issues between us right now with this film, and the fact that her career and John's are still in turmoil. John might be a problem too. They both would probably be willing to talk to me about this, but would I want to listen? No, I think not. "Well, you know Geena Davis..." Erika blinked, turning back to Victor. "Geena?" She had acted in a small recurring role on a TV show starring Geena Davis last spring. Geena had been a brief acting mentor to her. She has the sort of career I want, Erika remembered, not too big but popular and always memorable. Most of her projects bomb, but she never lets it bother her that much. She concentrates on enjoying what she gets and doing it well as long as she can. She was a real inspiration to me, still is. She also gave me a lot of good career advice, like Victor has. But I never thought she was... "You didn't know, did you?" Victor asked, reading her face. "No," Erika said. "I knew Geena was in a lot of sexy movies back in the '80s, but..." "She grew up in Sweden. They're a lot more liberal over there." Victor frowned. "I'm sorry to be telling you this. It was a surprise to me too. I dated her briefly after she divorced Jeff Goldblum and she told me. I was shocked at first, but then... well, it's not a big deal." Geena's been married three times, Erika thought, and has stayed good friends with her exes. She's long been active in acting and modeling, and her character on our TV drama was supposed to have been a swinging single once upon a time. Geena often flashes more skin on the red carpet and in media appearances than many women do in the privacy of their own homes. I should have read the signs. But I didn't think she was bisexual. I guess she was keeping it secret, hiding like all celebrity swingers have to. And of course we never really talked about sex or dating that much offscreen. I didn't know her well outside the job. "If you talked to her about your feelings, she might be able to give you the advice you're looking for. I know you respect her. If you'd prefer someone closer to your age, I can introduce you to Merrin or Jennifer." Erika blinked again. Is he saying the female leads on his show Alias are...? No, she shook her head. I don't know them. I don't want to discuss this with people I don't know. She grimaced and made a decision. "Victor, thanks, but..." Erika waved her hand. "It's like you said. I can't think about this right now. We have a film to finish. Priorities." Victor nodded. "I was only trying to help. If you ever want to talk more, I'm here." I know you are, Erika thought. And I know you'll keep this conversation secret, as will I. You're a good nonsexual friend to me, Victor, like Isaac. If either of you were twenty years younger... She smiled. "Thank you. Let's get back to our film, Detective." With that, Erika stood up and started walking towards the hospital set. *** October 2003. London, England. Alicia shook her head. "You're setting the mood again, right? Telling me all that instead of just..." Erika rolled her eyes. "It's not all about the sex, Alicia. If you don't get the emotions right first, and pay attention to the small details..." "I know!" the redhead interrupted. "Cut to the important part, okay? What happened next?" Erika grinned, guessing the problem. She began to rub Alicia's body as she spoke, alternating caresses across her thighs and stomach with tweaks of her hard nipples. "I finished filming Homeroom. Busy and I stayed friends, but we never talked about the kiss again. Victor and I discussed my feelings about it more, but no progress was made. I kept things inside, until the movie was done. I did still think about other girls, though. Then, after the filming was over, I talked to Isaac about what to do next, and Dean, and they both gave me the same advice as always. 'Do what seems right to you, believe in yourself, blah blah blah.' They offered to introduce me to women they knew who were into the same things I thought I was, but..." Alicia gasped as Erika pressed a spot just above her clit, and Erika laughed. "Same problem as before. I didn't know the women in question, and wasn't sure I wanted to talk to them about something like this." Alicia nodded, brushing Erika's hands away with a smile. "So..." Erika kissed the other girl, then resumed her story. "I decided to try Victor's suggestion out." *** October 2001. Los Angeles, CA. Geena Davis blinked, staring at Erika. "Victor told you that I'm..." The tall brunette frowned. She picked up her wine glass and took a sip. Sitting across from her mentor in the restaurant, her blonde curls still styled short from the end of Homeroom, Erika grimaced in reply. I should have expected her to be this shocked, she thought. The lifestyle is never an easy subject, even in a place this empty on an evening this quiet. That, and Geena recently married an Iranian. I didn't even know she was dating one until she told me just now. Did she give up the lifestyle because of him? Maybe. I better try to calm her down. "Relax," Erika said. "He just thought I needed someone to talk to about my feelings, and that you'd be good." Geena took another drink, then put down her glass. "I'm old enough to be your mother, Erika." "But you're not my mother. I can't talk to my mother about this." Erika gasped, realizing what Geena thought she had in mind. "Geena, whoa. I'm not expecting you to do it with me or anything like that. I'm not even sure if I'm really into sex with other women. I just want advice from someone I trust. Someone who understands, who isn't a man, who's gone through it. I understand if you're no longer in the lifestyle because of your new husband. I just..." Geena interrupted her with a wave. "The lifestyle is how Reza and I met," she said, choking off a laugh. "Of course I'm still into it." "Oh." Erika blushed. Geena blushed back, pausing and then speaking again. "Erika, you'll have to forgive me. You caught me by surprise. I didn't know you were in the lifestyle. I also haven't been with anyone your age since I was your age and... I guess I forgot how it felt, first starting out. I'm not sure what to say to you." "Well, you're smart, and you have experience and..." "Yes, I know." Geena looked at her glass, then Erika, thinking. The light in the room flickered off her glossy reddish brown hair. "When I first got involved in the lifestyle, I was young, and it was the sexual revolution. It was a lot easier to get involved then than it is now. I was interested, but fearful. You're feeling the same way, right?" "Yeah. I'm that way all the time. When I talk to Isaac about it, he tells me to just calm down and have fun. I've been doing that. With this, though... It's so different, Geena." Geena nodded. "I felt that way in the beginning too. It held me back a lot. Then when I got into modeling, and acting, the feelings started to fade. They've never gone away entirely, but... Erika, my best advice to you on the lifestyle is to take things slowly and carefully. Enjoy yourself, but remember to take precautions and think over what you're going through. You also should research it some. There are plenty of books out there on..." "I know. I've looked at a lot of them. But I'm not sure how they apply in reality. They seem accurate, but... I figured I would ask you what I should do." Geena smiled. "The books didn't really resolve anything for me either. I kept coming back to the fact that I had never done the things they were talking about. Finally I talked to one of my best friends, found out she was curious and interested too, and we helped each other out. It was awkward at first. Then it got better." Erika beamed. "That's how my first time happened." Geena gave her another look of understanding. "That's how it always is with sex. You worry about it a lot, then you do it, and..." The older woman shrugged. "Erika, I think I know your main problem. You prepare for things too much. You think about the possibilities, ask others for advice, research, and so on, when you really should just be doing what you want to do. That's how people learn best- through action. If you keep worrying and don't act, you stay shut off." "I know," Erika said, putting her hands on the table. "I just have so many doubts. I... I tried talking to Busy about this after we kissed. It didn't go well." "I'm sorry." Geena looked her up and down, saying nothing for a long moment. Finally she nodded deliberately and leaned close. "Are you comfortable with your feelings, Erika? Are you sure you want to try being with another woman? Because if you are sure..." She took Erika's hand in hers. Erika stared at the look on her face. "Are you saying..." "Yes," Geena said, her lips tight. "If you really want to see what it's like..." "I do!" Erika said. She had thought about this so much, she could not walk away from it. And Geena's beautiful, she reminded herself, and she knows what to do. She's also trustworthy. Therefore... "Do you want to do it tonight or..." Geena shook her head, but kept her hand on Erika's. "It's a little late. I also have to arrange some things." She paused again, then nodded. "Be at the Red Roof motel on East Rodeo, tomorrow evening around eight. And Erika?" "Yes?" "I hope you're really prepared. Because what I'm going to show you..." Geena smiled and stood up. "See you soon." Erika gaped as she watched the other actress turn and leave. Geena looked back at her one last time as she reached the door, her face carrying all her words. Whoa, Erika thought, shaking her head clear and reaching for her lemonade. *** October 2003. London, England. "Did you go?" Alicia asked excitedly, staring at Erika. "Did you..." Erika put a finger to her lips, then dropped it, smiling again. "Of course I went. I thought about it more first, though. I took a long walk, went over it in my head, decided it was really what I wanted. Then, when I was sure..." She kissed Alicia hard, licking at the redhead's tongue with her own before moving away. "I took the plunge." *** October 2001. Los Angeles, CA. "The first lesson," Geena Davis said, pacing back and forth in front of Erika, "is confidence." "Confidence," Erika repeated, adjusting the posture she sat in on the motel bed. Geena had motioned her to sit down as soon as she walked in and then began what looked to be a lecture. She was wearing a long blue cotton robe that framed her body but was bound tightly to hide what lay beneath. Erika was feeling awkward, dressed casually as she was in a gray cashmere sweater and pleated skirt of navy wool. Geena continued to pace, her stride measured and full of purpose. Her dark eyes stayed locked on Erika, who frowned. "Yes, confidence," Geena said, stopping in front of her. She put her hands on her hips. "You have to be comfortable with doing this, Erika. As comfortable as you are with men. Remember, it may seem to mean a lot on the surface that you're into it, but it's really nothing big. It doesn't mean you're not into men. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. It's just another way to have fun and make love. I wasn't fully comfortable with it until I saw it as that." Erika nodded in understanding. "But..." "Stop." Geena held up her palm. "Just listen, okay? I want to give you an experience that will show you what there is to like about this. Then I will let you judge it for yourself. It is completely up to you whether you want to continue things or not." "Okay," Erika said. Geena's being respectful and cautious, she thought. She's unsure whether I'll like this. I'm still a bit unsure about it too. Best if I don't take things too seriously, Geena seems to be telling me. I can agree with that. She calmed her expression and kept her eyes on the older woman, patiently anticipating what would come next. Geena paused, then resumed her speech. "You've had sex before, and you're already into the lifestyle. That's good. Now you're looking to expand your horizons. To do that you will need..." She smiled and dropped her hands to her robe's sash. "Confidence." Erika gasped as Geena unbound the sash in one quick motion, then flung the robe off her shoulders and let it slide to the floor. Her naked body was revealed, large dark nipples standing at attention. Erika closed her mouth and looked over its slopes and curves. Wow, she thought. So much like mine, and yet so different. Geena's taller than me, a lot taller. She's also older, and more experienced. I can see in her body the evidence of that Olympic training she underwent a while back, and the effects of those great action films she did in the '90s. Her legs are so long. I've never looked at another naked woman close up like this before. Sure, I've seen them, but not in this sort of situation. Geena turned around slowly, giving Erika frequent looks. She kept her eyes steady and face warm. Erika eyed the muscles of her back, the tone of her skin, and the dark brown bush of curls between her legs. Beautiful, she thought. I've looked at naked women before, thought about them. This situation is different, though. Soon I may be touching her, and she'll be touching me. And then... She stopped her train of thought, feeling Geena's eyes on her face. Her mentor smiled wider and made a gesture of expectation. Erika blinked, nodded, and stood up. She kicked her shoes off one at a time, still looking at Geena. Afterwards she proceeded to discard the rest of her clothes- skirt, sweater, socks, and underwear. Geena watched her all throughout, nodding now and then. I wonder if she likes my body, Erika thought. I've never met a guy who has a problem with it. Women, though, they're more evaluating. It's so much easier to get worried around them. Especially in something like this. She turned as Geena had done, her expression tight with questioning eyes. "You look good," Geena said. She put a hand on Erika's shoulder. "Now for the second lesson. Feeling." She leaned down, moved closer, and kissed Erika's lips. All the emotion Erika had felt from Busy's kiss onscreen flooded into her, only now it was more. Hope, promise, and satisfaction. Surprise also, and joy. You don't have to work to a script here, Erika told herself. No expectations. She smiled, then frowned again as Geena broke the tender kiss and stepped back. "Did you like that?" she asked Erika. "Yeah," Erika whispered, afraid to trust her voice. Her heart was pounding heavily, juices welling up in her loins like never before. The tension of the moment was still constricting her, though. "I..." "Quiet." Geena put her hand on Erika's cheek and caressed it lightly. "Let's do it again." She kissed Erika once more, opening her mouth this time and breathing against the younger woman. Erika parted her lips and returned the breath, extending her tongue. Geena's tongue came up to meet it, stroking back and forth along Erika's teeth. Her hand on Erika's cheek meanwhile slid behind the younger girl's head, tangled in her hair. Her other hand dropped to Erika's shoulder and tightly squeezed her arm. Erika gasped, returning the kiss with slowly building happiness. I like this, she thought. It's so soft and warm. I want more of it. I... Geena pulled away from her again, nodding. "Alright. Now you kiss me." Erika hesitated for an instant, then put her hands on Geena's cheeks. She pulled the other woman close and kissed her lips, grimacing as she felt something shift inside her. I like this, she reminded herself, trying to impart that into the kiss. Geena shook her head, moving back. "No, Erika," she said. "I'm not your relative. I'm your lover. You have to put more feeling into it when you kiss me. Show me how you would like to be kissed." She squeezed Erika's shoulder again. "If it helps you, pretend this is a role. You're on stage doing what you enjoy, only no one but me is watching. Get into it, then let yourself go." Right, Erika thought. Just like I always do in sex. She took hold of Geena's cheeks once more and gave her another kiss, this time giving in to the bold impulses lurking in her mind. Her tongue pressed against her mentor's lips and Geena eagerly admitted it. Their fingers moved across each other's faces and hair, stroking and pressing gently. Just as Erika's hands fell to her shoulders, Geena broke the kiss and smiled. Her hands dropped to Erika's and held them in place. "Better," she said. "You should always begin this with a kiss, Erika. A touch is also good, but it can be misinterpreted. You want to show your lovers exactly what you want from them. That way there's less worry." She took a breath, looking over Erika's body. "You have to be careful, though. Not every woman you meet is going to be into this, and many who are will probably deny it at first." Erika nodded. I saw that with Busy, she remembered. Maybe. She didn't want to think about that now, though. "What next?" she asked, shifting her hands. "Do you want me to touch you or..." "Listen to me," Geena said, raising her palm. "You're unsure what to do here- I understand that. Remember that every woman's body is somewhat alike. You know your own body already. You know how to make it feel good. Touching a similar body, arousing the same feelings, should come very easily. That's one reason a lot of women who get into this stop loving men- they find women simpler." "But I still like men," Erika frowned. "And that's fine. If you decide to stop liking men, that's fine too. It's your decision. Just be sure not to criticize the way someone acts and then act the same way yourself." Good advice, Erika thought. I've seen that in play a lot in my life, especially recently. So many people think they know it all. But they've never walked in anyone else's shoes, and they don't want to. Why? Never mind. I'm not going to let that be my problem. "Keep your mind open and flowing. Never be afraid to change it. You can adapt to anything if you just relax." "Be like water," Erika said. "Fill your shape." "Yes," Geena replied, smiling at her. "Build your style, and respond to that of others. Through relationships you will grow. Observe." She leaned in and kissed Erika again. Erika kissed her back once more. Keep this up, she silently begged. I like it so much. Her lips and tongue moved against Geena's, her hands stroking her mentor's. The older woman returned the gestures, then stepped back. "Okay. Now lie down on the bed and close your eyes." Erika frowned, but obeyed. She moved away from Geena, falling onto her back and letting herself go still. Her every nerve was pounding with trepidation, but she pushed it all away. Remember your meditation, she told herself. Concentrate on your feelings, then drop them. Flow into awareness. Live. "That's right," Geena said as she began breathing more easily. "Just relax. Think about how I'm making you feel." Erika sensed a change in the air, something moving closer. A soft hand touched her cheek, slowly headed downwards along her face. It lingered on the cleft of her neck, stroking. Then she felt it against her chest, and another hand joining in, touching her right knee. Both hands caressed, moving towards and skirting her most sensitive areas but not directly touching them. A gradual feeling of pleasure formed within Erika, and she let it slide around her, body tingling. Her own hands started to rise, but Geena stopped them, moving quickly and grabbing her wrists. "Wait." Erika nodded and lay back down. The hands returned to her chest and thigh, resumed their movements. Erika let out a moan. The bed shifted beneath her, and Erika smiled, sensing Geena nearby. The older woman's left hand touched the valley between her breasts, moved in circles and lines on her torso. Her fingers flicked Erika's navel, then moved left and right, gliding along her sides. Erika moaned again, trying to command herself to settle down. This is nothing, she thought. Geena said it was nothing. And yet it's so good, so... "Ahhh!!" she gasped as Geena's right hand moved swiftly up her thigh. Her eyes opened, and she saw Geena looming over her. A wide grin was on her lips. "Good," she said. She kissed Erika, then looked back and forth at their bodies. She jerked her head towards the mirror on the far wall. Erika looked that way and smiled. They were both flushed pink, agitated and aroused. She grinned at their image, turning back to Geena. "I think I..." "Wait," Geena repeated, putting a hand to her breast. "Relax. Don't move." Her hands began moving rapidly at Erika's nod. Geena pulled at Erika's nipples with the left, twitching her thumbs at their points. Her right hand came up higher, two of its fingers tapping at Erika's cunt. Erika gasped and opened her legs, settling into the sensations. "Ah!" she moaned as Geena's fingers entered her. "Yes! Please. I..." "Quiet." Erika closed her mouth, smiling again. Sorry, she flashed with her eyes. It's just that... The thought was lost as Geena resumed stroking her, harder now. A third finger entered Erika's snatch and they moved up within her, concentrating on the outer lips and then going inwards. Geena's hand on her nipples increased its rhythm as well. Erika gasped and Geena kissed her, silencing it. Erika breathed into her, but kept her hands still, her emotions overwhelming her. Her inner juices were flowing, crashing, and... "Yes!!!" she screamed into Geena's mouth, her body going wild. She shook rapidly against her mentor's hands and the bed, her hands grasping tight at the sheets. The orgasm hit her hard, then quickly subsided. Geena's tongue thrust into her mouth as it did so, and Erika licked at it before slowly pulling away. "Wow," she said. Geena gave her a knowing look. She took her hand out of Erika's cunt and touched it to her lips. Erika grinned back and licked at her own essence, the sweet taste flooding her mind. She turned onto her side and started to move her hands towards Geena. The older woman pushed her down. "Not yet." "But I..." "Wait," Geena said, a finger touching Erika's mouth. "You need to feel this now." She kissed Erika's lips and pushed her against the bed. Erika complied, again rolling onto her back. Geena moved up and over her, her knees on either side of Erika's waist. Erika gasped, feeling the other woman's closeness and heat. Geena's mouth began traveling down, a slow journey over her throat and then her chest. Erika sighed as Geena's lips touched her nipples, her tongue flicking at them. Her hands took hold of Erika's thighs, keeping them steady and in place. For a moment her mouth lingered on each of Erika's breasts. Then it moved farther down, tongue trailing over her stomach. Erika felt Geena's body and hard nipples pressing into her as well, and her excitement increased. I feel something rising again, she thought. Any second now. The way this is going... "Yes," she softly breathed as Geena's tongue licked over her waist and jabbed straight into her core. Her mentor's tongue was still for a second before coming alive. It lashed rapidly against the sides of Erika's cunt, then moved up, touching her clit and stroking it. Geena's hands joined in, moving towards Erika's snatch and pushing it farther open. Both her index fingers curled over the lips of her cunt, held them apart as she licked. Erika gasped and shook, her fingers again tangling in the sheets. Her entire body started to vibrate once more, and she let herself enjoy it. I'm calmer this time, though, she told herself. Her head tumbled back and forth on the sheets, a silent scream echoing through the room. Geena licked her all through the orgasm, breathing into Erika and lapping down her essence. Finally she stopped, letting out a sigh. "Okay. I think you're ready for what's next." She turned her body and pressed her cunt towards Erika's lips. "You can touch me now. Remember- show me how you like to be touched." I can do that, Erika decided. She put her hands on Geena's thighs and began rubbing. She listened carefully to the other woman's sighs and watched her face, looking for the right reaction. Geena soon gave it to her, smiling as Erika found her most sensitive nerves. Good, Erika thought, stroking them. Now to... She leaned in and kissed Geena's cunt, taking in its heat and texture. Nice, Erika judged, opening her mouth. A little salty, but sweet. I could get used to this. She extended her tongue and started licking, slowly establishing a rhythm. "Ahh..." Geena gasped, her hands moving to Erika's back. They stroked along her lower nerves, rubbing at her waist. Erika moved her own hands along Geena's thighs in counterpoint, lapping at her clit. She varied her motions a bit, putting feeling into them as Geena had described. It was challenging at first, and then she got into it. She's warm, like I am, Erika thought. And wet. This is so amazing. I know I'll keep doing it. I will never stop. She captured Geena's clit with her tongue and sucked it into her mouth. I will never... Geena shook and moaned suddenly, her juices flowing out and into Erika's mouth. Erika smiled and sucked them down, licking harder and faster. Geena shivered again, but put up a hand to stop Erika's caresses. "Hold off," she said. "Let me..." She took a breath, calming as Erika moved away. "You're doing well." "I am?" Erika asked, still a bit nervous. Geena nodded. "I have much to teach you yet, though. It will have to be infrequent, and secret. You know that, right?" "Yeah," Erika said. Geena has her life and I have mine, she reflected. This is not a committment, it's just an awakening. A friendship taken to a higher level, a better exchange of knowledge and entertainment. No more or less than that. "Just keep teaching me, okay? We'll figure out the rest as we go along." She smiled and kissed the other woman's lips. *** October 2003. London, England. "Your first time sounds like it was good," Alicia said. Erika grinned. "Yours wasn't?" "Well, it was, but..." Alicia frowned, looking at her flushed skin. "Erika, I..." Erika cut her off with a kiss, sensing the moment. Alicia sighed and kissed back. They traded tongues and breaths as their hands began to roam over each other's flesh. Erika rubbed at Alicia's breasts, pinching the firm pink nipples. The other girl's fingers touched hers, moved them down. I turned you on a lot just now, I guess, Erika thought. You want a quick reward. I can do that. She twisted her wrists away from Alicia's grip, rolled the redhead onto her back. Erika then proceeded to kiss her way down her friend's torso, lingering on the sensitive points she knew so well. Alicia gasped and dropped her hands, body shaking. Erika sucked at her nipples, took them between her teeth. One tap at each with her tongue, and she moved on. Her tongue caressed the valley that seperated Alicia's breasts, swept down across her navel, and then hesitated only a second before leaping into the peach curls on her thighs. Alicia moaned, opened her legs. Erika's hands clenched her thighs and gave aid, squeezing gentle but insistent. Alicia's own hands dropped to Erika's shoulders, clenched them, and stroked upwards through her hair. "Yes..." Alicia declared. "I like that! I... ahh!!!" Erika jabbed her tongue at her friend's clit, coaxed it to attention. Then she circled it carefully, sucked it as she had Geena's on that long ago day. I've wanted to do this to you for so long, I waited so long, and now... She grinned in ecstasy as a torrent of Alicia's juice gushed into her mouth. She drank it in, her own emotions flaring a bit. Afterwards, she moved back up, pressing her body against Alicia's. Her friend gasped and twitched, her lips touching Erika's for a long instant before moving away. "Thank you," she said slowly. "I..." "No problem." Erika raised a hand, stroked her lips and chin. Then she kissed Alicia's forehead. "But I'm not done with the story yet." Alicia's eyebrows shot up. "There's more?" She shrugged. "Alright, go ahead. What happened next?" "Geena taught me a lot," Erika replied. "Everything she knew about pleasing women. All the things I've been doing with you recently, and more. But we were never exclusive." "You couldn't have been. She was married, and thirty years older than you." "I knew that. But I let myself disregard it. What she was doing to me was so wonderful and..." Erika sighed. "I took breaks now and then- masturbated, went back to guys. It was just as good, but not quite the same. I was getting more into sex than ever before, and I was so devoted to Geena that... I kept going back to her, not looking for anything else. That was my mistake. Isaac gave me advice again when we discussed the issue. He told me something Sharon Stone told him. Geena agreed. 'If you meet the Buddha, you must kill the Buddha.'" Alicia grimaced. "What does that mean?" "It means even if you get the most inspiring teacher, you can't stay with them. No one has all the answers. All things must end. You don't have to really kill the Buddha, but... you do have to kill your attachement to him. You have to move on." "You told Geena this, right? And she agreed. So you broke up." "No, not completely. We agreed to still see each other on occasion. But our lives had to seperate. We both agreed on that. Then Geena decided to take a break from acting. I meanwhile, had to get back into it. Dean gave me the script for Swimfan, and I liked it. Then I heard Susan Sarandon and Goldie Hawn had this film they were making about swinging groupies turned desperate housewives, and I wanted to be in that too." "Banger Sisters, right?" Erika nodded. "They were close to starting filming. I needed to move fast. Fortunately Geena was there to help me. She introduced me to Susan, and she'd liked me in Traffic, so she put in a good word. Then a few weeks later I proved myself to Bob Dolman, and..." "I know. You've told me about all that before, and I saw the movie." Alicia paused for a second. "Susan Sarandon is in the same lifestyle as you, isn't she? I can believe it, with how long she's been active in liberal politics, and all the children she's had out of wedlock. You're going to tell me Geena was her lover, right? Thelma and Louise?" Erika grinned. "Yeah. Susan's very monogamous, but still sleeps around now and then. She likes to challenge herself, and live carefree. She and Goldie were the most experienced swingers Geena knew, and the most committed, so she thought I should spend time with them. She wanted me to really relax into the lifestyle but still learn to be aware of and manage the possible issues. Obsession, AIDS, and so on. Susan and Goldie grew up during the sexual revolution in America, and were both still into it despite time and change. I could trust them, learn from their experience." "Don't tell me you and the two of them..." "No, Alicia," Erika shook her head. "I do have limits. They're way older than me, even more than Victor and Isaac. I've watched them, and talked to them about sex, but it's gone no further. I'm pretty sure it never will." Alicia sighed in relief. "Sorry. I know it's up to you what partners you choose, but..." She shivered, then paused. "Wait a minute. They both have daughters about your age. Did you and they..." Erika smirked. "Goldie's, yes. Susan's, no. Eva knows about the lifestyle, but she's a little more conservative than her mom. She's also Evan's age, so..." "I understand," Alicia said. "She's still figuring things out. And she isn't that active an actress." "Right. Great potential, but still developing." Erika smiled, rubbing Alicia's breast. "When you rejected me way back when, it was partly okay because I had other girlfriends my age I got with regularly. I met two of them, Kate and Sarah, through Goldie." "Were they the first girls you got with your age?" "No," Erika said, grinning again. "Susan and Goldie told me I needed to test myself somehow, shake my limits and open my mind, if I was to fully embrace the lifestyle. Geena and Isaac agreed. So we decided I would do the same thing I did when I first got into swinging. This time, though, I had to improvise a little more." *** November 2001. Los Angeles, CA. "Ten bucks," the big mohawked woman said, light playing off her black leather vest as she extended her hand. "Hey, by the way, you look like..." "I'm someone else," Erika interrupted, passing the bouncer her requested cover. She wasn't sure she wanted to be recognized in a place like she was about to enter. A place I've never been, she reminded herself. A place that scares me greatly, even though I've known about it for a long time. I hope Kelly's not here tonight, or if she is... "Welcome to Sapphic Rock," the bouncer said. "Have a good time." She stepped aside, and Erika entered the lesbian club through the beaded curtain blocking her way. Two other women shoved past Erika as she did so, neither even looking at her. Geez, Erika thought. So rude! Don't they know how I'm... They don't know me, she remembered, and I probably wouldn't want to know them either. Never mind. She looked around the club, frowning nervously at its strange decor and flashing lights. Exotic theme, she noted. Beads, lots of plants, pink and green colors all over. It feels like a jungle in here. And there are the dangerous animals, staring back at me. Some of them look so weird. Why is that woman dressed in a man's suit? Why's she looking at me like that? That fat woman with all the tattoos and body piercings next to her is disturbing me too. I know there are lesbians like these women, but I think I'll avoid them. They just bother me too much. Okay, good, she thought, eyeing more of the club's occupants. Those women seem to be only a strangely visible minority, like Susan said. I can relax. But there are so many others. So many choices... Erika turned her attention to the club's music, hoping it would help settle her down. "I know you're confused, I know that you're shaking. You think that you're lost, once we begin..." Erika smiled, recognizing the song. Melissa Etheridge, she thought. A popular lesbian celebrity I've always liked. Great inspiring woman. "I wanna come over," she sang along softly, scanning the dance floor. "To hell with the consequence..." A dozen different women were smiling in her direction. None seemed to be looking at her, though, or if they were, they quickly turned away. Maybe they know somehow I'm a first timer, Erika thought. They want me to make the first move. Who should I pick? That blonde woman in the cowboy hat looks nice, and so does that darkhaired girl in the dress, but neither seems right. I... She looked each woman up and down, but neither returned the gesture. Never mind, Erika sighed to herself. This isn't going to work. I can't do it. It's too awkward. If there was only someone I knew here, someone I could... wait a second, is that...? Her gaze locked on a young woman sitting alone at the bar, back towards Erika. She was casually dressed in jeans and a white pullover, garb similar to the khakis and blue sweatshirt Erika wore. Short brown hair with a honey-colored tinge crowned her head, and her gray eyes gleamed as she looked down into her half-empty glass of wine. It is her! Erika gasped, staring hard at the woman. She smiled, recognizing the familiar figure she'd seen on so many calendars and magazine covers. I've seen a few of her films too, and of course that show about aliens she was on that the WB cancelled last season. I've been catching episodes on UPN, just like with Buffy. She plays my favorite character. I've thought about her before a few times, fantasized... I've never met her, though. I wonder why she's alone tonight. Don't these people know who she is? Who's among them? I... Erika laughed and walked towards the woman, spying her opportunity. As she got closer, her inhibitions began to disappear one by one. Reaching the woman's side, she tapped her on the shoulder. "Katherine Heigl, I presume?" Her fellow actress turned, eyes widening. Then she blushed and nodded. "Yes. And you're Julia Stiles." Not again, Erika grimaced. That happens so much, especially lately. I really need to meet that girl, agree on some varying hairstyles or something. We have the same agent, so it should be easy. But of course, that's not important right now. "Erika Christensen," she corrected Katherine, reversing her frown. "You know, from Traffic?" "Oh," Katherine said, looking her over and nodding. "Right. I'm sorry. I..." "It's okay," Erika replied, wondering how to begin. "I've seen you in Roswell. You're really good." "Thanks." Katherine smiled. "I liked your film too. Um, what are you doing here?" Erika paused, then gave her a knowing look. "What are you doing here?" Katherine paused at the line, then shrugged. "Well, I was feeling down, and..." She gestured around the club. "I decided to go out and look for someone new." Erika grinned and stepped closer. "You've found someone. That is, if you're interested." "I..." Katherine looked her over again and shrugged. "Okay. But I need to get to know you." "No problem," Erika said. "You want to get out of here?" Katherine looked around the club and nodded. "Yes. Definitely yes." She grinned, stood up, and took Erika's offered hand. "Let's go." *** "So you too were looking to feed the beast," Katherine chuckled as she drove, glancing at Erika. "That's why you were in there." "Watch the road," Erika reminded her, smiling. "What do you mean, feed the beast?" "Lust," Katherine said. "That's what I call it. The beast. I've had to deal with it all my life. Sometimes it directs me to men, sometimes women..." Erika nodded. She had often compared her sexual desire to a beast too. "Do you go to Sapphic Rock often, or..." "No. I have regular girlfriends and boyfriends, but sometimes..." She sighed. "It drives me crazy. You might understand better if I told you I was raised Mormon." Erika smiled at the commonality. "Hokey religion." "Yes." Katherine made a turn. "Don't misunderstand me. I value my beliefs, but..." "I understand more than you know," Erika said. Katherine and I are such similar creatures, she thought. Both young actresses, both into the lifestyle but unsure of ourselves, and for similar reasons. I like her a lot. I'm really glad I found her tonight. "Do you live alone or..." "My roommate's out of town. We'll have the place to ourselves." Katherine frowned. "Listen, Erika, I want you to know I'm not usually this fast. But tonight... the people at UPN have told me Roswell's probably not staying around. I really wanted it to, but it's not. The ratings aren't high enough. This, after what happened with Ground Zero..." Her latest movie, Erika recalled. It got delayed by 9/11, like mine did. I read that somewhere. "You're depressed." "No, just emotional. I'll get over it. If... you will help me?" "Of course," Erika said. I'm a little intimidated by Katherine, she thought. She's had a great career, and it's still going strong despite the upsets. I envy her. "You know what Geena Davis told me about roles that get cancelled? They don't matter. As long as you remember them, learn from them, and appreciate their meaning, you can go on. Same with roles that bomb, if you're going to complain about that next." Katherine smiled, taking in her words. Then she pulled over to a curb. "Here we are. I'm afraid the place is sort of a mess." "That's fine," Erika said. She got out of the car and followed Katherine into the apartment, immediately grimacing when she saw the state it was in. She wasn't kidding about the mess, Erika mused. So much stuff cluttered around the functional furniture. Posters, clothes, books, videotapes... My own place isn't the cleanest in the world, but at least it's more organized- I think. She took her shoes off as Katherine locked the door behind them. Gotta relax. Katherine nodded at the secured door, then dropped her purse and turned to face Erika. "Listen, whatever happens tonight, thank you." "Don't mention it," Erika said. Katherine nodded and stepped closer, her arms stretching out. Erika extended hers back, accepting the embrace. So easy, she thought as they kissed. Thank goodness. I was so afraid, and now... Her lips locked on Katherine's, both opening. Their tongues came out slowly and touched one another. Then both of them dropped the kiss. "Bedroom's through here," Katherine said, stepping away from Erika. She flashed her new friend a smile over her shoulder as she walked across the room, through the hall, and turned a corner into a room even more cluttered than the living room. Erika, following her, barely noticed. Her every nerve was tingling with anticipation, and she was doing her best to push it down. Katherine turned as they entered the bedroom, took hold of Erika's shoulders, and kissed her again. Erika kissed back, arms encircling Katherine and fingers poking at her skin. The brunette let out a moan, her own hands starting to fondle Erika's sides. They found her breasts very quickly, squeezed them, then grabbed Erika's shirt and began to pull it up. Erika stepped back and raised her arms to aid Katherine. The shirt was pulled off her and flung away, revealing the dark blue bra beneath. Could have gone without tonight, but I didn't know what to expect, Erika thought. I felt I needed the support. She stepped back from Katherine and unsnapped her bra. The brunette watched, smiling as it fell to the floor. "Nice," Katherine said, stepping towards her and leaning down. Her lips touched Erika's left nipple, then her right, teeth and tongue bringing each to attention. Then she looked up at Erika's eyes, tongue touching the space between her breasts. "Let me see yours," Erika requested, her hands touching Katherine's shirt. Her new friend nodded and stood up, took hold of the garment and pulled it off. She wore an American flag bikini top under it, her tan skin and hard nipples accented by the stars and stripes. Erika grinned as she watched Katherine discard that garment as well, freeing her hard pink-nippled globes. She smiled and moved back in, embracing the other girl. They kissed each other's lips, their bodies pressing together. Their hands continued to roam, undressing each other now. Pants were unfastened and pushed down, panties following. They paused and looked down at each other, exchanging smiles again. Katherine's shaved her mound, Erika noticed. I know some women do that, I've seen it before, but not like this. I wonder how it... She gasped, distracted as Katherine's fingers came up and tangled in her lower blonde curls. "Very nice," Katherine said, her fingers pressing within Erika. They touched her snatch's sides, caressed her inner thighs as they moved back and forth. Her other hand fondled each of Erika's breasts, fingers pinching the nipples. Mind back on the moment, Erika raised her hand and touched Katherine's thigh, fingers roaming along the bronzed expanse. Wonder how she feels, Erika thought, then moved her digits to Katherine's cunt. It was rough, as expected, but softer along the edges. She smiled, finding it was also wet. Katherine sighed and gave her another kiss. They stood in the middle of the room for what seemed the longest time, breathing into each other's lips and caressing each other's bodies. They stepped out of their pants, kicked them away. Each continued to touch the other's cunt, and the other's breasts also. Their hands never stayed in one spot for long, though. Frequently they would sweep away from their partner's most sensitive points, touch the arms, legs, or back muscles. Their lips also continued to trade kisses, and they rubbed against each other's nipples and skin. Soon their juices were flowing heavily and at that moment, Katherine stepped back. "On the bed," she said. Erika nodded, smiling. They walked towards the cot in the room's far corner and tumbled onto it, rolling onto their sides. They smiled at each other and kissed again, fingers twisting and tangling each other's hair. Their bodies were flushed, and their minds as well, emotional storms raging within. A car alarm went off somewhere outside, but they ignored it, too occupied with their newly discovered joy. "Ahh!" Erika moaned as Katherine's fingers started rubbing her body again. She put her hands on Katherine, and soon they were moving in harmony, concentrating on one another's stomach and thighs. Then their hands traveled on, pushing again at one another's lower regions. Each of them gasped as the other's fingers entered their cunt. Okay, Erika thought, I'll make her first one rapid, then slack off. No hurry, we have the whole night ahead. She pushed two fingers against the top of Katherine's pussy, found her clit, and began pinching and stroking it. Katherine smiled, then probed for Erika's clit and began to return similar motions. Their other hands came up, fondled and squeezed at each other's breasts and sides. They continued to kiss heatedly as they did so, their bodies stiffening and pressing hard into one another. They hunched against one another rhythmically, gyrating wildly and then slowing down a bit before starting up again. Erika let out a series of deep breaths, her wetness rising. The entire length of Katherine's finger thrust into her, soaking it up. "Ahh!" she breathed, smiling and kissing the other girl. Her fingers stabbed at Katherine's clit, matching the gesture. Their bodies kept rubbing each other as they moved, flushed skin clashing and nipples dueling like knives. Their tongues dueled as well, while their hands grabbed and squeezed random places on their torsos and thighs before returning to the most intimate points. Erika moaned into Katherine's mouth as she felt the other girl's hand on her rear, then again as it rubbed her spine, and then once more when it re-entered her cunt. Any second now, she thought, her waters rising as Katherine's fingers pushed deep. At the same instant, Katherine's foot swept up along hers, rubbed her in a way she had never felt before. That's it, Erika thought. I feel it, I'm... "Yes!!!" Erika wailed, tearing her lips away from Katherine's, body shaking. She fell against the other girl, overwhelmed with feeling and heat. Katherine held her close and kissed her, fingers still stroking Erika. Erika pushed down the feeling of fatigue and grinned, her hands again moving to arouse her new friend. Okay, she thought. That was mine. Now for yours. She pressed at Katherine's pussy and breasts, locating the nerves and tingling her fingers against them. Katherine began to moan softly and rapidly, her body vibrating against Erika's. Erika rolled her close to the wall, kissed her lips, and in the same motion jabbed two fingers as deep into Katherine's cunt as they would go. She then flicked them up, captured her clitoris and yanked on it. Her mouth left Katherine's as the other girl gasped, dropped onto and sucked each of her nipples. Katherine clenched her teeth and then quietly spasmed, her lips opening and closing rapidly while her hands squeezed Erika's arms. She settled down, cuddled against Erika as her hands ceased moving. Erika smiled and kissed her lips. "Thank you," Katherine said when Erika pulled away. "This was exactly what I needed. Please, Erika, tell me that this isn't for only one night." That's what I want too, Erika thought. She gave Katherine another smile. "It goes on as long as we both want it to." "Good," Katherine sighed, moving in to kiss her once more. *** October 2003. London, England. "We still get together whenever we can," Erika concluded, smiling at Alicia. "Katherine and I have different careers, but our friendship is strong. It's like you and me." "Weren't you and her in an MTV film together?" Erika nodded, her face flushing as she recalled some of the things she and Katherine had done in their mutual dressing room while filming Wuthering Heights. "Yeah. Of course, a lot happened between then and when we met. I got with Kate, and Sarah, and Shiri, and Jesse, and..." She smiled, kissing Alicia's lips. "I know it's a lot of people, but they all mean something to me. I'm not the sort who loves and leaves. I always remember my lovers, even if we have to move on." Alicia thought about her words and nodded, indicating she shared them. "Thank you for telling me all that. I know it was a lot." "It's my life," Erika shrugged. "A lot has gone on, a lot is going on, and there's still much to be done. Always will be." Grinning, she extended her fingers and touched Alicia's cunt. *** The End. Reasons why this story stopped- I am adding this paragraph because I do not want anyone getting the wrong idea about this series. I stopped it because it is unpopular compared to other stories and I lack the time and energy to keep up with writing it even though the story is great. There is a war going on right now over many issues addressed in this series- a war between bigoted hatred and naive love. Both houses in the war are alike in dignity, both are powerful, and both have reality and much evidence on their side. I do not wish to enter onto the front lines of this war by writing fanfiction concerning some of its key celebrity players. I doubt whether I could do so and retain my sanity. Therefore I thought it best to stop, conclude the series comfortably, and then just sit back and pray for a good end to the conflict in real life. I came to this decision under no threat from anyone- that is God's honest truth. If you are a writer who wants to learn more about the ideas I had, or merely a fan who is interested in how this series would have turned out, I welcome you sending me email on it. I will gladly discuss with you the series and where it could have gone after I left off. I know a lot of people enjoyed it, and I welcome their support. I won't answer trolls nicely, that goes without saying, but hopefully trolls won't be emailing me on this. ;) Anyway, thanks to all who read and enjoyed. I hope to hear from you someday. Later. - Doug Elder, aka AchtungNight (DougElder21@yahoo.com)