The Passion of Erika Christensen
Chapter 2: Riding the Bull
an erotic tale by AchtungNight.

Celebs: Erika Christensen, Benicio del Toro.
Codes: MF, oral, anal, interracial, cons.

Disclaimer: This story contains graphic sexual situations and
adult themes and is therefore not suitable for those under age 18
or the close-minded. It may be illegal in some areas too. :(
Please also note that it is not a true story, instead merely a
fantasy. Real events may be referenced and real names,
likenesses, and other personal details of celebrities and other
real people may be part of the story- however they are used in a
fictional manner styled to the author's liking that may be
satirical at times. The author has never met any of the
celebrities used herein, so he has no way of knowing if they
really act the way they do in the story, and is confident that
they probably don't. One hopes that these facts do not keep you,
the reader, from enjoying the story.

Acknowledgements: Thanks as usual to all who have aided in the
creation of this story, even those who have done so without
knowing it. Thanks also to those who maintain sites for stories
like this, and to all those who write them, read them, and
otherwise keep them alive. Thanks especially goes out to those
who have sent this author feedback. If after reading this story
you desire to do the same, please email feedback to me at the
address in my profile (DougElder21@yahoo.com). All feedback, with
the exception of flames and spam, will be answered and
appreciated. I hope you like this story. If not, please tell me
why you didn't so I may learn of my mistakes.

Copyright: This story is my creation. All other stories which are
referenced or otherwise paid homage herein belong to their
respective creators. This story may be posted anywhere on the
Internet that is free to access and has my permission- please
email me for such. The inclusion of this disclaimer and proper
credit will be all that I ask.

Notes: This tale is the direct sequel to Chapter 1 of the series,
and another step on Erika's journey through life. Hope you enjoy
it. Special thanks to Kendo1 for editing help. -AN

***********************************
The Passion of Erika Christensen
Chapter 2: Riding the Bull
October 2003. London, England.

"Your move."

Erika Christensen frowned, looking at her friend Alicia Witt. The
two of them were different, physically and in personality. Alicia
had short crimson hair, whereas Erika's was longer and
reddish-blonde. Alicia was tall and slim, Erika was lush and of
medium height. Alicia seemed smarter to most, while Erika had
wisdom. Despite these differences, the girls were both actresses,
and had enough interests in common to be close friends.

"Come on, move."

Erika blinked her blue eyes, looking into Alicia's brown ones and
then down at the chessboard on the table between them. One of
Alicia's knights was a few squares closer to her king now, and
not many pieces were left to defend the royal personage. They had
been playing for almost an hour, and as usual Alicia was winning.
She's better at this game than me, Erika thought. She can think
several moves ahead, whereas I've always had trouble with that.
They say chess is like life, that similar strategies apply.
That's somewhat true. It surely frustrates me just as much as
everything else does.

"Your turn, Erika."

She shook her head and looked around them, trying to find some
hint as to what she should do next. Inside Out, their favorite
London club, wasn't too crowded at the moment. It was only early
evening, and though all kinds of people were on the paved dance
floor and around the bar that resembled an outdoor cafe, the
amount of activity was low. Well, at least everyone seems to be
enjoying themselves, Erika thought. That's good. The place will
get busy later. At least it better, or this day off from filming
our movie is gonna stay boring as hell.

"Hey! Erika!"

She turned back to Alicia, then frowned as she realized her
opponent had not spoken. The redhead pointed to the right, and
Erika turned again to see another young actress standing there.
Evan Rachel Wood's creamy face was flushed with joy, her pale
blonde hair shining in the room's flourescent lights. Like Erika
and Alicia, she was dressed in casual clothes.

Evan's been out roaming the dance floor and enjoying herself,
Erika recalled. Our other friend Keri's also off enjoying herself
tonight. She's with that guy of hers who came to visit. I chatted
with Tony a little earlier today, he's a nice and handsome man.
I'd love to get with him. He seems pretty exclusive to Keri, but
I'm sure that's not really the case considering what kind of
person she is. Once they've had enough alone time, I should be
easily able to get something set up with them before he goes back
to New York.

"Hey, Evan," she said, trying to concentrate on the present.
"What's going on?"

"I met him again!" Evan beamed. "Jamie Bell! He was just here!"

"Well, where is he?" Alicia asked, looking around. "You didn't
bring him back here to introduce us?"

Erika nodded in agreement, thinking of the young British actor
with whom their friend had recently become infatuated. She
smiled, out of happiness for Evan and little else.

The young girl shook her head. "He just dropped in for a drink
before going off to a rehearsal. I talked to him, though, and I
got his number. He's free tomorrow night, so we're going out."

"That's great, Evan!" Erika said. She knew Evan had been hoping
to meet her crush again for a number of weeks now, and been
disappointed every time they came back into Inside Out and found
him not there. But, just as they'd all hoped, things now seemed
to have been corrected. "What do you have planned?"

Evan shrugged, sitting down in the third chair at the table. "He
said he'd take me to see a play, then maybe we'd have dinner. You
know, the typical date stuff. Then, well, I was thinking after
that..." She trailed off and grinned.

Alicia frowned, looking at Erika. Oh no, Erika thought, guessing
what was going on. Their young friend had a small problem with
overenthusiasm, and on top of that, Evan had not had much
experience with guys despite a lot of time on the dating and
Hollywood scene. She's thinking too fast again, Erika thought.
Damn it, we've been trying to break her of that habit. Alicia and
I have been with a lot of guys, and we know what can happen if
you mess up the pace of a relationship. Evan doesn't seem to,
even though she should. We better talk some sense into her. Wish
Keri were here to help.

She quickly moved her bishop, just to get the chess game off her
mind, then turned back to Evan. "Um, Evan, are you thinking what
I think you're thinking?" The look she gave the young girl left
no doubt as to what Erika meant.

"Yeah!" Evan said. "Why not? I like Jamie, and I know he likes
me. I've been waiting so long to get with a guy, and now I've met
one who's cute and funny and..."

"Evan, whoa!" Alicia cut her off. "I understand how you feel.
When I first thought I was ready to lose my virginity, I was a
bit like that too. Of course, I was thirteen at the time and
you're older, so..."

"I'm more than old enough, Alicia. So's he. Don't worry, we'll be
fine. We're going to have such fun with this."

"Evan," Erika snapped, and the other actress turned to face her.
"Alicia's right. Going all the way on the first date is a bad
idea."

"What do you mean?" Evan frowned. "I like this guy!"

"You've only met him twice," Alicia gently reminded her.

"But I've seen all his movies! He's great! And he likes me." She
sighed. "And I know I really shouldn't point this out, but I got
with both of you and Keri on the first day we met, and it's been
fine so far. What's the problem?"

Erika grimaced at Alicia, who shook her head. I should have seen
this coming, Erika thought. We moved too fast, and now Evan's
thinking she's on a lucky streak or something. It doesn't help
that the character she's playing in our film is really
frustrating her. Damn it, how do I talk her out of this stupid
idea?

"Evan," Alicia said, "are you sure he's ready?"

"I think so. I flirted with him a little, and he seems interested
in me. I haven't told him straight out what I want, not yet,
but... I know I'm ready. I've been ready!"

"Are you certain of that?"

"Oh yeah. My cherry's gone, there won't be that much pain. He's
real nice, I know he won't hurt me. I'm sure Doug will give us
protection and the proper venue." Evan flashed a grin towards the
club manager, who was looking a bit flabbergasted as he regarded
them from behind the nearby bar.

Listening in on us as usual, I see, Erika thought, rolling her
eyes slightly at the well-dressed brownhaired man. Oh well, I
shouldn't be offended. Doug's the warm respectful type of
celebrity fan, not the seriously obsessed dangerous type. I
played that latter type of fan in a movie once, I can tell the
difference. It's not surprising that Evan thinks he can help her
get with Jamie. His club is a haven for swingers like us- he got
into the lifestyle while he was in college back in the States-
and Doug's a friend of ours too. But even his good nature has its
limits.

She gave him a look that said "I'll take care of this, don't
worry," then turned back to Evan. "Evan, calm down. Think about
what you're saying here. Back when you were on Once & Again,
didn't they do an episode or two about this?"

Evan grimaced. "Yeah, for people who aren't as smart about it as
we're going to be. What's the problem? It's just sex!"

"Listen to yourself," Alicia said. "You're forgetting all the
failed relationships you've had that you've complained to us
about. Not to mention the ones we've had about which we've told
you."

"But those weren't like this! This will go right. It has to."

Alicia started to reply, but Erika waved the redhead to silence.
She'd been composing her thoughts, and had an idea. "Evan, sex is
never 'just sex.' You can't treat it that way. If you do, you're
making a mistake."

"You're right," Evan said, calming a little. She waved her hand.
"This won't just be sex. It will be something special. I'm
finally getting with a guy, and it's Jamie, and..."

"Stop," Erika said. She reached out and took Evan's hand. "Look,
I know how you feel, okay? I've been that eager sometimes myself.
I always have to tell myself to wait, take it slow. It's better
that way."

"Yeah, everyone says that, but..."

"Trust me," Erika said. Alicia looked about to add something, and
again Erika stopped her old friend with a wave. "Look, a while
back you wanted to know how I got into swinging. I didn't tell
you then, but I think I should now. Will you listen?"

"Sure," Evan grinned, huddling closer. She smiled at the two of
them. "What happened?"

"I'd like to hear this too," Alicia said. "When I met you, you
were already pretty into it. You bar-hopped as much as I did,
even though you don't drink, and you took home nearly as many
guys. I was a little confused about it, but then I considered how
we met and shrugged it off. That's why I've never really asked
you about it."

Erika gave them each a smile, then began her story. "Well, it all
started in a place very much like this."

***
Febuary 2001. Los Angeles, CA.

"Hey there. Can I buy you a drink?"

Erika frowned as she recognized the voice. "John?" She turned to
see a tall, darkhaired, and deeply tanned man flashing a familiar
grin at her. "John Travolta?"

The veteran actor blanched, staring at her. "Erika. I didn't
recognize you."

"Obviously," Erika said. She had been coming to this club, Tech
Noir, and places like it a lot recently- ever since breaking up
with her boyfriend Mark a few months ago, she had felt a bit
depressed. Her life also had other disappointments that weren't
helping. A key one was that despite her recent success in the
Oscar-nominated film Traffic, Erika's career had gone into
something of a downturn. The fact that many random people were
starting to notice her due to that film and make advances in
which she really wasn't interested had been bothering her too.
"Were you trying to pick me up just now?"

John blinked, then shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, I was. Sorry, I
didn't..."

"It's okay," Erika interrupted, chuckling. Her family had known
John's for many years, and in the past he'd been like a favorite
uncle to her. They had much in common, and he had given her some
good advice when she first got into acting as a teenager and
started to hit it big in TV roles. They hadn't seen each other in
several months, though, not since the premiere of John's last big
film. Erika had gone to the movie thinking it would be great,
since it was based on one of her favorite novels, but had barely
been able to sit through it in its entirety. She'd talked to
several of the other audience members after doing so, and they'd
pretty much all agreed. Few of them wanted to tell John their
thoughts, though, as they all knew how much work he had put into
producing and starring in the movie. Erika had not heard much of
John since, and his presence here was confusing her. "It's been a
while since I've seen you. How you been?"

"I'm fine," John shrugged, sitting down at the bar beside her.
"Just dealing with stuff. You know how it is."

Erika nodded. "Are you and Kelly on the rocks again?" To the
public eye, John Travolta seemed to have a happy loving marriage,
but as his friend, Erika knew it wasn't always like that. In the
past she had heard rumors that John sometimes cruised bars,
dancing and hanging out. His career's in limbo right now too,
Erika mused. So of course he'd be trying to combat depression
like I am by doing fun things. I wonder if it's working out any
better for him than it is for me.

"We're fine," John repeated, shaking his head. "We're just taking
a breather right now. You heard about the Razzies, right?"

"Yeah," Erika said, guessing what was on his mind. Time to tell
him my opinion, she decided. "I'm sorry. But hey, it could have
been worse. You could have gotten Uwe Boll to direct the film or
something. That would have made things really bad. As it was..."

"Please stop that," John broke in. "I've been hearing it from
people left and right. I know I made a big mistake. I just
thought that was the part I was born to play, the movie I was
born to do, and then... everyone hated it." He sighed and hung
his head.

Console him, Erika thought. He'll listen to you. Just tell him
your honest opinion. "John, you've been in a lot of great movies.
Pulp Fiction, Face Off, Grease, Michael... and you think
Battlefield Earth was your best role? Seriously?"

John raised his eyebrows, staring at her. "You're right, but..."

"You've faced downward spirals like this before," Erika went on.
"We've talked about them. You told me I might have to learn to
deal with them. Recently I've been motivated to do that. You
remember how you told me you were typecast as a disco dancer?"

"Yeah. I liked that role, but to do the same thing over and
over..."

"I know how you feel. Right now I'm getting offered tons of
scripts that have me as a stripper, or a drug addict, or
something similar. I just did that role, I don't want to get in a
rut with it. That's why I went back to TV."

"Yeah, you're working with Geena Davis. Her latest project's
about to bomb."

"It might, it might not," Erika shrugged. "Geena doesn't think it
will- it's doing pretty good right now."

"Erika, everything that woman gets into fails. It doesn't matter
how well she acts, how many awards she wins, or what sort of
great script she's given. The public just doesn't flock to her.
She was big back in the day, but now..."

"I know, John! But she's still one of my idols. She's a great
person. Geena's been like a mentor to me."

"Right. I get that. I understand why you'd want to apprentice
yourself to a veteran in our field for a while- you just had your
first big success. I just think, with Geena, well, maybe you're
making a mistake."

Better change the subject, Erika thought. He's getting off track.
"John, this isn't about me or Geena. Why are you here?"

"You know why I'm here."

"Does Kelly know you're out trying to pick up girls? She doesn't
know, does she?"

John grimaced, then smirked. "Erika, I have to be here, okay? I
need to clear my mind. My career's in the shitter again, and it's
all my fault. No one understands. I..."

"John!" Erika glared at him. Damn it, she thought to herself, how
did I get into this? I'm not an auditor, and I rarely talk to
them because they don't get me. I prefer to think about things my
own way, settle my own problems. I've usually been able to do
that. I'm not sure how clear I really am, though, even with all
the classes I've taken. My fears and bad memories still often
bother me, even though I don't have that many of them. It's been
especially bad in recent months- I've been disappointed with my
life and nothing is getting me out of it. No amount of
rationalization works. I can't solve my problems, and neither can
anyone else. And John wants me to help him?

I guess so, she thought. Alright, try your best. And hurry. He's
staring funny at you!

"Does Kelly know you're here?" Erika asked again, trying to keep
a level tone.

John paused, grimacing, then shrugged. "Yeah, she knows. She's
the one who told me to go out and try to pick a girl up. She
knows that usually helps me when I'm like this, especially when
it works."

Erika gaped at his tone. She didn't think he was lying, but...
"John, if this is some ploy..."

"Call her," John suggested, taking a cell phone out of his
pocket. "She's out doing the same thing I'm doing right now. We
got a friend babysitting the kids. Trust me, Erika. I'm not lying
to you, okay?"

Erika frowned. She wanted to believe him, but... play along, she
thought. John's been drinking, you can smell it on his breath.
It's probably motivating him to be an idiot. She shrugged and
took the phone, then keyed in the number John gave her. "Kelly
Preston," a familiar voice answered after two rings.

Erika blinked, then decided to be direct. "Kelly, it's Erika. I'm
in this bar called Tech Noir on Pico. You know, the place where
they filmed Terminator?"

"Yeah, I know it. What's going on?"

Damn it, Erika thought. She sounds relaxed. Does she know what
her husband's doing? I hate to tell her, but... "John's here.
He's been drinking. He just tried to pick me up. He said that..."

"Erika, whoa!" Kelly interrupted. "Calm down. Did he tell you
where I am right now?"

Erika felt herself shocked again. "Uh, no."

"Sapphic Rock."

The sincerity in Kelly's tone made Erika's heart leap. "That's a
lesbian..."

"I know. I'm secretly in Clear Rainbow. John and I have an open
marriage. Please don't tell anyone, okay? With all the trouble
John's had over not being gay..."

"I won't!" Erika exclaimed, looking at John. He grinned and
raised his glass of bourbon, a trademark gesture from his films.
Oh my God, Erika thought. I suspected this, it makes a kind of
sense, but it's just so... Stop it, Erika. You know about open
marriages and swinging. You got into watching Sex and the City
when you got the part on Geena's show, and you became a big fan.
You've read the book that inspired the series cover to cover many
times. The Ethical Slut too. You really shouldn't be surprised to
see this. "I swear, Kelly," she calmed down, looking around. No
one seemed to be noticing her or John, and she felt relieved. "I
swear I will not tell anyone."

"Thank you," Kelly sighed. "You have to understand, Erika. My
family is my first priority. John and I let a dumb idea come
before that, and it's really hurting us right now, and... we just
need a break from each other every now and then. I got into
swinging after I divorced Kevin, when I was with Charlie. I
stopped when I broke up with him, but then I started dating John
and he was into it, had been for years, and... I went back."

"You don't have to explain, Kelly," Erika said, frowning at John
as he sipped his drink. Damn it, I gotta get out of this right
now. "I... I really don't care."

"Sorry," Kelly replied. "It's just usually when I try to explain
this to people who know us..." She paused. "Look, Erika, if you
want to get with John, it's okay with me. Have fun. Enjoy
yourself. Just remember he'll come back to me when it's all
over."

Erika stared at herself in the mirror behind the bar, unable to
believe what she was hearing. Oh my God, she thought. I gotta get
out of here fast! "Uh, no, Kelly, that's alright. I'm really not
interested in John. No offense. I'm sure he'll find someone. Good
luck to you both. Bye now." She pressed the phone's hangup button
and dropped it on the bar.

John turned to her and frowned, taking in her words. "Uh, listen,
Erika, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I..."

Erika glared at him, making a shushing gesture. Her face was red
as she hopped to her feet, her heart hammering in her chest.
"Shut up," she snapped. "Just shut up. Like I said, good luck.
Bye." Her shoes clicking on the floor, she hurried out of the
club.

***
October 2003. London, England.

"I'm confused here," Alicia frowned at Erika. "You turned down
John Travolta?"

"I'm confused too," Evan said. "Jamie's not married. What are you
trying to tell me?"

"I'm just trying to tell you how I was feeling back then," Erika
said. "And what I learned." She sighed and waved at Doug,
thinking some drinks would probably help right now. "Before I met
John that night, I had had a lot of guys I didn't know come up to
me in clubs and try to pick me up. I hated it. I wasn't going to
clubs to meet guys. I was just trying to get over my depression,
have some fun dancing and hanging out. But then..."

"You bumped into John," Alicia said. "And he made you realize
some of those guys were just as down as you were. That helped
you. Am I right?"

"Yes," Erika nodded. "Exactly. Can we get two Mountain Dews and a
Freckled Lemonade?" Doug waved in reply and started to fix the
drinks.

"What are you saying here?" Evan asked. "Are you trying to tell
me people have sex too quickly because they're depressed? Because
I'm not depressed right now, Erika. Neither is Jamie. We're just
going to have fun, and..."

"Evan!" Erika cut her off, glaring at the young blonde. "I'm
telling you how I got into swinging. What happened with John was
part of that. It got me thinking about other people's feelings,
like Alicia said. I was shocked and angry at first, then I
realized I was suddenly out of my funk. I wasn't thinking about
my own problems anymore. Instead I was thinking about John, and
Kelly, and the other people I'd met who were in clubs looking for
sex. I wondered what was motivating them to do such a thing. Then
I went back to the books I'd read about swinging and what
motivates people to get into it and suddenly I was looking at
them in a whole new way."

Alicia and Evan leaned close to her, rapt with attention.

"I consulted with Isaac Hayes about things," Erika went on. "I
figured he'd be able to put them in perspective. I know him off
and on as a family friend, like I know John. I've always seen him
as a wise sage. He's also done a lot of work on this great comedy
show that talks a lot about sex, so I thought..."

"South Park," Evan grinned. "I've seen that show. I love it."

"Me too," Alicia said. "It's a little crude but..." She looked up
at Doug, who was smiling strangely as he set down their drinks.
"Thank you." The bartender nodded and moved off.

"I'm a fan of it too," Erika said. "It really makes you laugh.
So, I told Isaac about my situation and asked him to give me some
advice. First he swore me to secrecy. Then he told me that he'd
been into the lifestyle for decades and helped settle a lot of
questions I had about it. We sorted out truth from fiction. I
found out not everyone who's into it is into it because of
depression- most people are very happy with themselves. I decided
I wanted to be that way too.

"I also was recalling how great having sex with Mark had made me
feel, and thinking about how I hadn't had anyone since breaking
up with him. I told this to Isaac, and he said I should just
relax, live my fantasies. I was young and unmarried, and had
things to sort out, so there was really nothing wrong with having
a little fun. I was shocked he was saying all this, but then he
told me how most people like to keep their involvement in the
lifestyle secret, especially when they're famous. That made sense
to me. I had already been dodging a lot of questions from the
press about boyfriends and so on."

"We get it," Alicia said. "You've talked to me about building a
public cover before. I didn't see the need, as I've always been
pretty monogamous."

"Until now," Evan smirked.

"I still am when it comes to guys," Alicia said, frowning at the
young blonde. "When I find the right man..." She waved her hand.
"I may not marry him, but I will be loyal to him. That's my
decision."

Erika shook her head at them. You two really need to chill, she
thought. "I was like that too for a while," she told Alicia.
"When I was with Mark, I stayed with just him even though I was
also looking at and occasionally fantasizing about other guys. No
harm in that, right? Then he dumped me for another girl, and I
went into my cycle of depression. I couldn't get out of it. I
wasn't thinking of fantasies that much for the longest time. Then
after I bumped into John, my mood changed. I wanted to get with
guys again.

"But I wasn't sure about what sort of guy I wanted. Mark had been
so great, and he was gone. Every other guy I thought of had
something wrong with him or I didn't know him. It was driving me
nuts. Isaac told me I should just say what the heck and not think
much about what kind of guy I wanted. That I should start having
sex again with people I wanted who wanted me. Just try to
approach sex in the moment, and let the details take care of
themselves. If you think too much about a problem, he told me,
you'll never solve it. Sooner or later, you need to jump in the
pool."

Evan nodded. "That's what I'm doing with Jamie."

Erika glared at her. "Let me finish, okay? Isaac's advice seemed
good, but I couldn't get myself in the right mindset to take it.
Then he gave me this analogy. He said I was wandering in a maze
of emotion, and I couldn't find my way out. 'There is a reward
somewhere in the maze, Erika. A minotaur lurks also, and guards
it. The minotaur is your fear, happiness is the reward. You will
have to confront one to get to the other.'"

"Basically he told you you were afraid of sex," Alicia said.

"Yeah," Erika sighed. "I always was back then. When I got with
Mark the first time, I was able to talk myself into doing it, but
I still had my fears. They held me back a lot with him, it was
part of why we didn't work out. I thought about this and what
Isaac had said, and I realized he was right. I needed to confront
my fear. I worked out a plan, with Isaac's help. I decided to
track down and seduce someone who I'd wanted for a long time, who
was into the lifestyle, and who represented a major barrier to
me. If I could fuck him, and enjoy it..." She waved her hand.

"Who'd you pick?" Alicia asked.

"Benicio del Toro."

Evan grinned. "The Latin Brad Pitt."

Alicia rolled her eyes. "Please. Don't tell me you bought into
that Don Juan shit, Erika. Don Juan always leaves women in the
morning. You couldn't have been expecting..."

"I didn't think about that!" Erika declared, looking back and
forth at them both. "I thought it would be like Casanova, not Don
Juan. I would seduce him, we would both have fun, and then he
would respect me after the first time and become my next great
lover."

"Like me and Jamie," Evan said.

"Yes," Erika said. She glanced at Doug, who was smiling as he
listened while serving customers. She grinned back, then returned
her attention to the story. "I had known Benicio for almost a
year, and admired him for a long time. We worked together on
Traffic, got to be friends. I had a crush on him that was
unrequited. You guys understand, right?"

"Benicio del Toro is good looking," Alicia said, "and a great
actor. He made Excess Baggage almost tolerable for me. I also
enjoyed watching him in Licence to Kill and Usual Suspects."

Erika nodded. "Me too. I figured Benicio would be happy, and
maybe that would rub off on me. He was doing great back then-
he'd won massive praise for Traffic and had three other films out
as well. Everyone was looking and smiling at him. Isaac agreed
he'd be a good man for me to approach. Handsome, smart, and
careful too. I was looking for an initiator into the lifestyle,
and Benicio seemed like the perfect candidate."

"So what'd you do?" Evan said, looking intrigued now. "Did you
get him?"

"Yes," Erika smiled fondly. "It was a lot easier than I thought
it would be. I called Benicio up, told him I wanted to meet and
talk. We had dinner at the Voltaire. I told him everything Isaac
had told me and about how I'd been feeling. Then I told him
straight out what I wanted. He was surprised, but then he saw I
was sincere. He was understanding and told me he'd often thought
of me fondly, as a friend, all through making Traffic. He could
understand my crush, and he was between lovers at the time, like
me."

"We get it," said Alicia. She too was smiling. "So..."

Erika sighed, thinking back.

***
Febuary 2001. Los Angeles, CA.

"Are you looking forward to this?"

Erika grinned at Benicio del Toro, saying nothing. The man's
darkly handsome features and deep voice were mesmerizing her, as
they had all night. Were words necessary? she wondered. No,
probably not. Instead she merely looked up into Benicio's dark
pools, at the heavy circles around them. Usually such features on
a man bothered her, but on Benicio they didn't. He'd had them all
his life, and wore them well. His personality also greatly aided
the attraction. The man was magnetic, on screen and off. Erika
had wanted him for so long, and now she would have him, finally.

"It might not really help you," Isaac's voice echoed in her mind.
"Be careful. Benicio is a complicated man."

"Like you?"

"No, even more so. He couldn't hold on to Claire Forlani, or
Alicia Silverstone, or a number of other great women. He's a
rover, always has been. Don't expect more from this than you're
going to get."

"I won't, Isaac," Erika had promised. The freedom's part of what
I like about this, she thought. Benicio's unattached, I am too.
This will get me into the lifestyle, whether it stays permanent
or not. That's what I want here. I set it up, prepared just like
I did for losing my virginity. I rented a suite here at the
Regent Beverly Wilshire, took Benicio out, and talked him into
this. It worked out great. This night is reminding me of my first
time with Mark too. It's raining heavily outside, just as it was
then, only the storms seem harder now. I can hear the thunder and
lightning, even inside this elevator. I hope the earth doesn't
move, that would be bad. No, she decided. I won't think about
that. I want this night to be great.

"I will treat you right," Benicio said, reaching out and stroking
her hair. "You will like what I do to you."

I hope so, Erika thought. I hope you'll like me too. I always
liked everything Mark did to me, and vice versa, or so I thought.
Why'd he dump me then? I still don't understand. Oh well, that
was months ago. I'm moving on. That's what this is about- moving
on and getting back to life.

The elevator stopped and the doors dinged open. "Floor twelve,"
the operator said. "Enjoy your stay."

"Gracias, amigo," Benicio said. He handed the operator a tip,
then stepped into the hall. Erika smiled at the operator, who'd
been eyeing her all through the ride, before following. He looked
her up and down again, admiring her curves under her revealing
red dress, as the elevator doors shut. Benicio walked over to a
nearby room and fumbled in the pocket of his black suit for a
key.

"I have it," Erika told him, taking the card out of her purse.
"My room, remember?"

"Oh, right," Benicio chuckled. He bounced his fingers off his
head. "Listen, Erika, I am aware you may still not be sure what
you want from this. The lifestyle is different for every person.
I can help you get into it, but only so much."

You've been telling me that all night, Erika thought. Isaac said
the same thing. Why? This is just sex. It's no big deal. No,
wait, it is a big deal, Erika. You know how sex makes you feel,
what it can create. You've thought about it so much, you love it
more than anything. You want it to burn you out of the funk
you've been in, get you to enjoy life once more. Surely it can.
You and Mark had sex one last time before you broke up, and you
treasure that memory as much as any other. All your times in the
sack have been great. You know sex can be bad, but you don't want
it to be that way. And this won't, she told herself. It can't.

"You just need to satisfy me," Erika told Benicio. "No
complications."

He nodded. "No complications." They had agreed earlier tonight
that whatever happened, they would stay good friends. Benicio had
brought up that not every pair of lovers found themselves
compatible, and though Erika had hated doing so, she'd had to
agree. Well, this isn't about finding Mr. Right, she reminded
herself. I have my whole life to do that. All I want right now is
freedom from my maze. Benicio will give it to me.

That hope in mind, she flicked her key through the lock and
shoved open the door. Smiling and trying to control her trembling
nerves, she walked into the suite's sitting room, Benicio
following behind. He nodded at the bottles of sparkling water and
bowl of fruit laid out on a table they passed, but touched
neither. Good, Erika thought. We've already had enough food and
drink tonight. She stepped out of her shoes as they entered the
bedroom, dropping her purse beside them on the floor. "Ben..."

Before she could get out his complete name, Benicio grabbed her
from behind, spun her around, and pulled her face up to his.
Erika gasped as their lips met. His breath was warm, and flowing
into her like heat from a furnace. He kissed her quickly, then
pulled back. "I am sorry. I had to do that."

"It's okay," Erika sighed, attempting to calm her heart. She
unsnapped the back of her dress and walked over to the bed,
pulled its covers down. "You can do whatever you want to me."
With that, she turned and fell back, opening her arms.

Benicio returned her smile and shrugged off his jacket. He then
unfastened his belt and bent over to unlace his shoes. He hummed
a Spanish tune as he disrobed, feeling in his voice.

Come on, Erika thought. I'm so impatient right now. Get
undressed!

She watched as her new lover dropped his pants, hoping his
manhood wouldn't be too much for her. Benicio took off his socks
and shoes, smiling at her all the while. He then began
unbuttoning his shirt, still humming, his eyes looking her up and
down.

Benicio's a method actor, Erika recalled. He has a huge
repertoire of tricks and techniques for the stage, maybe for this
too. He's probably contemplating which ones to use on me. Maybe I
should tell him to follow his heart, not the script. This isn't a
lovescene. She smiled as he pushed his shirt off his torso,
revealing his well-sculpted chest.

Dressed now only in his boxers, Benicio walked forward and stood
facing Erika. She shook her head, feeling his shadow looming over
her. She did not shrink away, though. This moment called for
bravery. I am here freely and of my own will, Erika thought. So
is he. We are going to enjoy what we are about to do. Nothing
will stop that. So calm down. Control yourself. He has more
experience with this, let him guide you. She beckoned to him with
one of her hands.

Benicio held up a finger, still smiling. He hooked his thumbs in
his boxer shorts and pushed them off. Smaller than I thought,
Erika regarded his organ. Oh well, it's still something to be
proud of, and I'm sure he'll know how to use it. It's thicker
than Mark's, but not as long. Not yet anyway, he's not that hard
right now. I need to change that. I will soon.

Her lover stepped out of his shorts and dropped himself onto the
bed. He moved in, cuddled up to her, and looked her over again.
"Tu eres muy bonita, Erika. Do you have any special requests?"

"Just make me feel good," she said, reaching out and pulling him
closer to her body. She wrapped her arms around him, ran her
fingers through his dark curly hair and down along his back. She
gasped, feeling the heat of his proximity. Benicio's chest was
rough and hard, the hair there thin and spread out. Erika tangled
her right hand's fingers in it as they embraced, tugging on the
hair and his nipples. She pressed her lips to his chin, his
cheek, and finally his mouth, trying to send promises into his
mind with her eyes.

Benicio quickly responded, his arms encircling her and caressing
her shoulders and back. Erika let out a breath, smiling as he
pulled down the zipper of her dress. She dropped her arms so he
could push the sleeves off her shoulders. Her white skin clashed
against his, presenting an intriguing contrast with his dark tan.


They kissed again several times as he moved the dress down,
tongues licking each other's throats. Erika felt colder as her
body was bared, then warmer at the feel of his presence and
attention. Benicio continued to look her over as he undressed
her, smiling at the sight of her hard pink nipples and the
triangle of blonde hair between her legs. Just as on most nights
when she was planning to have sex, Erika had not bothered with
underwear.

She smiled at him as he moved away a little after pulling the
dress all the way off her, looking him over again. His body's
like a dream, Erika thought. So tanned and well-proportioned. I
can see him getting aroused, a second ago I felt it. He's flushed
with passion now. I can tell even with that wonderful dark skin.
She grinned and let out another breath.

Benicio did the same, mumbling something she couldn't decipher in
his native language. Then he moved back towards her, placing his
left hand on her shoulder and his right on the valley between her
breasts. He moved the latter back and forth, stroking her nipples
to attention before leaning in to kiss each one.

"Ah!" Erika moaned, lying down and letting him move atop her
body. He's bolder than Mark was, she thought. Good. I like that.
She laughed as Benicio looked up and stuck his tongue out at her,
then bent back down and licked at her nipples. "Yes!"

She pressed her palms into his back and squeezed his shoulders,
pulling his body into hers. She felt her nipples growing tight
and hard, jabbing into him. She could also feel his manhood
against her hip, growing larger and thicker with their closeness.
She rubbed her thigh against it, feeling herself getting warmer
and wetter. An ache was echoing between her legs, its rhythm
matching her heartbeat. He seems ready, she evaluated. I think
I'm ready. Now?

"Espera," Benicio said, guessing her thoughts. Wait, Erika mused.
That means wait. Okay, I'll wait. Just don't make it too long,
okay? Por favor, Benicio, please.

She gasped again as he sucked hard on her nipples, then moved
down. He planted kisses along her stomach and breastbone,
traveling a path that made Erika shake. Oh my God, she thought.
He's going to lick me down there, without prompting. I had to
talk Mark into that, and it took him several tries to get it
right. Is Benicio any good? He's had experience with a lot of
women, so he might be, but...

Never mind, she thought. Just let him do it. You'll find out. She
dropped her hands from his body and smiled down at him, then
moaned as he licked across her navel, then her waist. Hurry,
Erika thought, listening to him mumble and breathe. I want you!
Taste me! Come on!

Benicio's tongue stabbed out, spearing into her core. Erika let
out a scream, her legs kicking wildly. Benicio reached out and
grabbed hold of them, pulling them apart and keeping them still.
He licked her pussy up and down, concentrating on the top and the
outer edges, then the inner folds. Erika's clit thrust into his
tongue and she gasped, feeling juice leak out of her into his
lips. "Yes! Don't stop! Please!" He laughed, mumbled another
Spanish phrase, then thrust his tongue deep into her snatch. His
right hand moved in as well, two fingers entering Erika's cunt.
She gasped, contracting her muscles around them, her body
tingling hard.

His other hand came up as her legs relaxed, fondled her breasts
as he sucked at her. "Ahh!" Erika moaned, and he chuckled in
reply, squeezing at her skin. "Yes!" She felt herself shaking,
her eruptions growing as Benicio kept licking her. Her heart was
beating faster and faster, passion and emotion flooding back into
her mind. Yes, Erika thought, sighing in rapture. I knew it could
be like this again, I waited for it, and it's better now. It was
so long, too long. Oh God, oh my God. Keep it up. "Oh, ah!"

"Hold on, baby," Benicio said, pulling back. Erika groaned,
feeling the absence of his mouth. Then he moved up along her
body, keeping his hands in place. He lined himself up against
her, his fingers stroking her breasts and pussy up and down. Oh
yes, Erika thought. Now. Do it now. Please.

Benicio regarded her expression and grinned back, showing his
teeth. Then his fingers stopped. He took his right hand out of
her pussy and held it up to her eyes.

Erika nodded, remembering what they'd discussed. Yes, she was on
the pill, but Benicio liked to be as careful as possible.
Therefore they had picked up some condoms in the gift shop
downstairs. Erika grinned, recalling how the clerk had been
staring at them. She breathed in and out several times, then
waved at the foot of the bed.

Benicio nodded and put his fingers to her lips. Erika gasped,
opened her mouth, and sucked his digits. Her own taste flared
across her throat, salty and sweet. Benicio chuckled, then pulled
his fingers out and stood up.

Hurry, Erika thought, watching him. Rapido! She rubbed her own
breasts and pussy as Benicio picked up his pants and took the
condoms out of his back pocket. "Ahh," she moaned, keeping her
eyes on him, anticipating what was to come.

Benicio tore open the package, removed one of the latex circles
and broke its foil cover, then expertly unrolled it and slipped
it over his organ. He nodded, said, "Okay," then turned back to
the bed.

Erika moaned, blinking her eyes and seizing the feelings in her
mind. She raised the fingers that had been inside her to her
lips, sucked her juices off them, then beckoned Benicio close. He
looked her over again, frowning. Erika gave him another
questioning look, wondering what was going on. Finally he
shrugged, then dropped onto the bed beside her and began moving
close. Erika moved with him, reaching out and squeezing his
shoulders with her hands. His arms came up, pulled her into him.
He kissed her lips, then her neck, and after that her lips again.
"Yes," Erika breathed.

Grinning in reply, Benicio kissed her again, then looked down at
their bodies. Erika felt his manhood with her thigh and moved
slightly to the side, placing it against her cunt. The feeling of
its presence was strange, yet familiar. Ease up now, Erika told
herself. This is just like with Mark, only a tighter fit. It will
hurt a little, then I'll enjoy it. She prepared to move forward.
Okay, on three. One, two...

"Ahhhhh!" she screamed, as Benicio thrust into her a second too
soon. He grinned and chuckled. She laughed in response, trying to
calm her heart. His hands came up and seized her shoulders. She
moved her own hands to a similar position on him, huddling close
and clenching hard around him with her legs. I'm full, Erika
mused. He's hard within me. I can barely think of anything other
than the ache, and how I'm shaking, and... Again she gasped as
Benicio started thrusting back and forth into her snatch.

For several minutes he thrust in and out, frequently kissing her
or smiling at her as their bodies neared. Erika moved with him,
continuing to caress his back and chest. His hands went from her
shoulders to her sides, running up and down them and flicking in
towards her nipples. He also rolled back and forth on the bed,
taking Erika with him. First she was above him, lashing her long
hair against his chest as they moved. Then she was under him,
gasping in pleasure as he thrust down into her.

"Yes!" she moaned and screamed, tingling again and again. Her
juices flowed harder with each thrust, her emotions crashing.
Benicio rolled them back onto their sides and smiled at her, then
thrust hard and deep. She laughed, looking at his clenched teeth,
and contracted around his organ as it moved out, then back into
her. Now, Erika thought, feeling her spirit begin to rise. One
more thrust, and she was off.

"Yes!!!" she wailed, bucking and twisting against her lover.
Benicio smiled and dropped his hands to her hips as she came,
grabbing hold of her thighs and squeezing gently but hard. Erika
moaned and shook back and forth, let out another breath, then
kissed him. He kissed her back, then pulled out.

"What are you doing?" Erika frowned as his hands fell from her
hips. "You haven't come yet. Go back in and I'll..."

Benicio shook his head, looking at her and waving a finger. "Turn
over."

Erika raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. He wants me from behind,
she thought. Okay, I can dig that. Mark didn't like taking me
from behind, he never would. I've read about it, though. Maybe
I'll like it. She smiled and turned her back to Benicio, looking
over her shoulder at his nod.

"Okay," he said. "You're gonna love this, baby."

I hope so, Erika thought, feeling his hands on her shoulders
again. This is new for me, and unusual. I like sex, though, and
this is just another kind of sex. It's not a big deal.

She smiled and spread her legs wide as Benicio eased her onto her
belly and moved over her. His body brushed against hers, his
organ trailing across her left thigh. Erika moaned, feeling its
warmth even through the latex. She could not access him easily in
her current position, so she put her hands on her breasts,
clenching her teeth in preparation to feel him enter her again.
Benicio aligned their waists and leaned close, his dark hair
mixing with her blonde curls.

"When you're ready," her lover whispered into her ear. "Uno,
dos..."

"Now!" Erika said, squeezing her breasts. The closeness of him,
the tingling in her, was making her crazy. I'm about to get off
again, she thought. I have to. "Now!" Benicio laughed, then
pushed forward and inside.

Erika gasped and shook, feeling something wrong. Her cunt was
still empty, even though it was open. Yet she could feel
Benicio's organ pushing into another hole in her body. Oh my
gosh, she thought, he's... Relax, Erika. You've read about this,
and seen it done in movies. It feels odd, but it's just as good
as if he were fucking my pussy. It's just different. I wanted
difference. I need to get to like this.

She moved her body up and down on the mattress as he began to
thrust, trying to concentrate on the good feelings he was
creating and not the pain. Erika kept one hand squeezing her
breasts and dropped the other to her cunt, slipped in two
fingers. I need to feel better about this, she thought, rubbing
herself. I can feel better. I do. She smiled as her body
responded to her commands.

I like being fucked this way, she decided. Vaginal's better, but
this is okay too. It's good that Benicio's not being brutal or
hitting me too fast. I don't think I'd want that right now. Maybe
another time, but at this moment...

"Ahh!" she gasped as he suddenly thrust hard, breathing deep into
her ear. Erika bit her lip, feeling distended. Then he started
shaking, and she realized he was cumming. She could feel heat and
warmth, soaking the latex that seperated his organ from her inner
folds. Okay, she thought as he thrust hard again, then started to
slow. My turn now. I want an orgasm out of this, or I'll probably
regret doing it later. She moved her fingers to her clit and
grabbed it in the most sensitive spots, then pressed hard and
flicked them back and forth.

Benicio watched her, smiling. Erika felt him growing soft and
slipping out, then moving away. She rolled onto her back and
looked at him, moaning and caressing her body. The softness of
the mattress somewhat eased the pain in her rear, and she
relaxed, then started moving her fingers rapidly again.

Her lover chuckled and moved back towards her. His fingers joined
Erika's, rubbing her breasts, stomach, and cunt. Yes, Erika
thought, grinning at him. Help me again. Please. She flicked her
fingers harder and faster, and Benicio picked up the rhythm. They
exchanged blinks and laughs, looking each other up and down.
After a few seconds, Erika felt herself start to spasm. "Yes!"

She clenched around the four fingers inside her, two of his and
two of hers, and moaned her pleasure out. "Ahhhhh!!" She gasped
one last time, then bit her lip, smiling at him. Benicio leaned
in and kissed her, his mouth open. Erika smiled and accepted his
breath and tongue.

I feel so drained now, she thought. So tired. What Benicio did to
me was good, but I wasn't ready for it. Normally I'd have the
energy to keep going a while longer, but... She closed her eyes
as he pulled back and gave in to sleep.

***
October 2003. London, England.

"My God!" Evan gasped as Erika finished describing her memory.
"That was hot!"

Alicia nodded in agreement. "I thought Benicio del Toro was only
like that on screen."

"He likes acting out his characters in bed," Erika said, smiling.
"It was good for me too, all of it."

Evan shook her head, smiling. "I can't believe he fucked you in
the ass!"

"You have to be with the right person to enjoy that," Alicia
said. "Some guys are too rough, and they can hurt you."

Evan nodded. "I know. Nikki and I did a lot of it. I still have
some of the toys she gave me. If you like, we can use them
sometime."

Alicia blinked, biting her lip. She looked at Erika, who flashed
her a grin. The redhead stood up and pushed back from the table,
moving her queen before turning away. "I need to go to the
bathroom," she said, then headed that way fast.

Evan smirked at Erika, who laughed, watching Alicia depart. She
then turned her eyes back to the chessboard and sighed as she saw
where Alicia's queen was now. "Damn it. Checkmate."

"You'll beat her next time," Evan said. "It only took me five
games."

"Thanks," Erika said, turning away from the board and sipping her
drink. "So, do you understand what I was trying to tell you?"

"Yeah," Evan said. "Fucking on the first date can be full of
things for which you aren't really prepared. But you did it, and
you liked it, so you went into swinging. Am I right?"

Erika shook her head. "Not completely. I did like it. Then... I
woke up alone."

Evan's mouth fell open. "What?"

"I woke up alone," Erika repeated, stirring her ice with her
straw. "Benicio left me. There was a message on the phone-
something about how he really enjoyed being with me but didn't
think we were right for each other. He talked about how I needed
to find people my own age, get with them, and build up my
experience. He said if I really wanted to be into the lifestyle,
I would have to get more used to being surprised."

"Okay," Evan said, grimacing. "I can understand he felt that way.
But still..."

"I know," Erika agreed. "He could have stuck around and helped
me. As it was, I felt really pissed off even though I got that he
was speaking to me from the heart. I was back in my maze for a
few days, deep within my depression. Then I started going out
again.

"This time, when guys came up to me, I felt more interested in
spending time with them. I had a lot of dates. I would never
spend too much time with any particular guy, though. I kept
finding things I didn't like about them. Most often it was that
they felt getting with a movie star stroked the ego, and treated
me accordingly. They saw me as a conquest, little more. They
would leave me like Benicio did- sometimes with a note, sometimes
without. Or they'd break up with me, seek other girls even
quicker than Mark did. I hated it so much."

"But then you found good guys, right? Michael Rosenbaum, Jesse
Bradford..."

Erika cut her off with a sigh. "Rosey and Jesse came later. I got
with a lot of different guys between Benicio and them. I went to
places Isaac told me about, hung out around LA's campuses and the
Boulevard, got all the swinging experience I could. I always told
the media I didn't have time for boyfriends, and they believed
me. Meanwhile I was having fun. I didn't tell any of my regular
friends about what I was doing except for Isaac and Dean, my
agent at the time. He was into the lifestyle too and willing to
talk me down when I got emotional."

"Emotional?" Evan asked with a frown.

"Yes," Erika replied. "Sex makes you very emotional. Haven't you
noticed that by now? Your feelings are intense, before and after.
It can bring you close to people, but it can also drive you
apart. The sex I had was always good for me at the moment, but
afterwards I found I could never really be sure how things would
turn out. For a while I kept searching for great guys, trying to
assemble a list of characteristics to look for so I could predict
what would happen if I got with any particular person. But
nothing worked, Evan. None of my relationships was all great. I'm
just glad I was able to stay in the lifestyle."

"Yeah," Evan said. "Me too."

Erika smiled at the young girl. "It helped that I always found
satisfaction no matter what. I lost one guy, and another was
right around the corner. I wasn't looking at girls back then,
that came later too. I was still distraught a lot of the time.
Isaac and Dean had to talk me out of it. Eventually it started
working. My career got out of its downturn. Dean got me cast in
Home Room, which had a script I really liked, and I won some
awards for what I had done in Traffic. I was doing good again,
and soon I was feeling better about myself."

"What about Benicio? Did you ever see him after what happened?"

Erika nodded. "We met each other again a couple weeks later at
the SAG Awards. I avoided him initially, I was still upset. Then
he came up to me and apologized, and I found myself replying that
it was okay. We went home together after the afterparty, and got
it on again. It was still good, even though he left me again when
it was over. Benicio has never wanted to get too attached to me-
to him I'm just a little girl. I feel the same, he's just a
crush. I still see him off and on when I'm in LA, though. He was
my escort at an Elton John AIDS Foundation party last year."

"And you get along."

"Yes. As well as can be expected." She sighed. "Evan, I've had a
lot of first dates where I've ended up in bed with a guy. It's a
bad idea. Alicia's had even more, she can back up what I'm
saying. Dates are never something that are going to go right no
matter what. You think they might, but then they don't. There's
really no way to predict what could happen. But it helps if you
take things slowly with the guy, learn about him, keep him
interested. If you do that, he may get to like you and he'll come
back for more."

Evan thought over her words, grimacing. "Okay, I see what you're
saying. You think if I move too fast with Jamie, he might get the
wrong idea about me."

"Yes. He also might not be as ready as you think he is. Some guys
want you to take things slow- they like it that way."

"Okay," Evan said. "I will. Thanks for talking to me. I really
appreciate it." She leaned close and patted her friend on the
hand.

"I'm here anytime you need me," Erika said, smiling before
looking away. Evan nodded, then got up and headed back to the
dance floor, a sad look on her face. I feel sad too, Erika
thought. It did not feel good reliving all that. But I helped
Evan. That's what's important. I'll find Alicia, take her
upstairs, get to feeling better. That's all I need.

"You shouldn't be so upset," a voice said. "You rode the bull."

Erika raised an eyebrow and turned, frowned as she saw the club's
manager standing next to her. Great sympathy welled up from his
face and tone. "Rode the bull?" Erika asked. She and Doug had
talked now and again, and he frequently used strange analogies,
like Isaac did. "What do you mean?"

Doug pulled out a chair from the table and sat down, shook his
head, and sighed. "Back where I come from," he told Erika, "we
have this festival called the rodeo. Millions of people flock to
it every year. There are cowboys who partake in a sport called
bull riding. They get on a bull, ride around the arena, and try
to stay on. It takes a lot of practice to get it right. You gotta
be careful, and have protection. The bulls don't like being
ridden, you see, and they always do their best to throw the rider
off. Usually they do, very quickly. The rider ends up in the
dust, or maybe even a pile of manure, frequently with broken
bones. They say that when you ride a bull, it's not if you're
going to get hurt you should be worried about. It's when, and how
badly."

He took a breath. "You know what, though? Most of those guys get
hurt a lot riding the bull, but they keep trying again. They
don't let failure get them down. They don't let anybody talk them
out of it, no matter how good the arguments. They keep trying to
ride the bull, because for the eight seconds or however long
they're able to stay on, they're..."

"Happy," Erika completed.

"Yeah." Doug sighed. "You can be happy too. The dreams you're
chasing are far less dangerous. They can also give greater
pleasure. You just have to remember the things that can go
wrong."

Erika nodded. I do, she thought. I've learned my lessons well, I
always have. I continue. But sometimes I still feel... No, Erika,
forget that shit.

She shook her head and turned away, new thoughts flashing into
her mind as she thought over Doug's words. He's helpful to me,
Erika smiled to herself. Always has been, even though he doesn't
have to do anything. I should thank Doug for this. I could get
with Alicia tonight, or Evan, or someone else familiar. But I
think I'd rather take another friendship to the next level
instead. She looked towards the bar, wondering if it was
possible, and grinned again when she saw another club employee
had taken Doug's usual place. "Doug," she said, turning back to
her friend. "Have you ever wanted to ride the bull?"

He frowned, then shrugged. "Of course I have," he said. "I
wouldn't be human if I didn't."

"Would you like a chance?"

Doug stared at her, seeming confused by her words. Then he
gasped, seeing the offer behind them. He stood and stared at
Erika, his mouth opening and then just as quickly slamming shut.
He wasn't expecting anything to happen between us, Erika
realized. He just wanted to cheer me up. So sweet... But he
better not turn me down now. I want this. I want him. He better
follow through, and be good to me, and...

The manager of Inside Out shrugged again, then reached out and
took her hand. "As you wish."

***
End of Chapter 2.