<b>Counseling; Chapter 1,</b>
an erotic tale by AchtungNight.
Tagline: Various celebrities need help.
<b>Celebs:</b> Erika Christensen, Alicia Witt.
<b>Codes:</b> FF, oral, romance.
<I>Standard disclaimer- This story is a satirical fantasy. It is
fictional, even though its plot and characters are based on real
events and people. All characters based on real people are
fictionalized. All celebrities in the story are impersonated --
poorly. I, the author, have no actual connection to any
celebrity mentioned in this story other than being their fan, and
I acknowledge that they do not act in real life the way my
characters based on them do. I did not write this tale for
financial profit and I expect none from it. This story contains
controversial adult themes and situations, so it should not be
read by those who are close-minded or under age 18.</I>
<b>Intro:</b> <I>Hello, readers. This tale is my tribute to
celebrities and other people who need to get their minds fixed
up, and their lives straightened out. It is a satire, like all
my stories. All opinions expressed by the themes are mine. If
you disagree, that is your right and I hope you will excuse me.
If I am not as familiar with my subjects as I should be, please
correct me if you are more knowledgeable. Any mistakes in this
story that were not caught by my editor and other advisors are my
responsibility.
There are references to other art in the story. The mentions of
the nudist camp "The Pines" and its patrons appear with
permission from author Nick Scipio. Writer KMB allowed me to
include a nod to his "Harem" series (which takes place in a
separate but connected universe from my own celebrity
fanfiction). I give my thanks to these great artists for letting
me plug their writings. I also credit Greg Weisman, John Kovalic
and the creators of all the other works mentioned in the text. I
don't own any of these people's conceptions and I did not contact
any artist other than KMB and Nick Scipio for prior advertising
assent. However, all these artisans' labors inspire me. I hope
they and their fans will appreciate the ways I have paid them
homage here.
In my series timeline, you can consider this tale the bridge
between "Passion of Erika Christensen" Chapters 4 and 5. I would
call it a "Passion" chapter, but Erika is not the lead of the
story. She's just one of many important characters. I also want
to do a sweeping summary to bring her into the present.
Therefore, I have put this story outside the main "Passion" arc.
You can call it "Passion 4.75" ("The Rendezvous" being 4.25 and
"Rekindled" being 4.5) if you must. No other text should be
required reading, though as usual my other stories are connected
to this. "Counseling" is also one of my longer works, so I have
broken it into four chapters for reader convenience. I recommend
everyone read the chapters in order.
One additional note -- the villain in this tale is a character I
have tried to introduce before. She can be held in check no
longer and my heroes need to face her. People like this woman
and her associates exist and are the reason certain celebrities
are distrusted by their potential fans. I feel this needs
depiction. The villain in question has been retooled for her
role. If all goes well, we will be seeing her again for further
conflicts. She is a figure whom I believe fits the part I have
given her, like all my characters. I'll let the tale itself
speak further as to whom she is.
Please let me know if you like or dislike this story. I
appreciate any feedback I am sent. I haven't been getting nearly
enough feedback of late and would like that to change.</I>
(E-mail: DougElder21@yahoo.com)
***
<b>Counseling.
Los Angeles, California. November 28, 2008.
Chapter 1.</b>
"TMZ; where famous people display their true colors."
"TMZ, the show that tells you everything you need to
know about celebrities!"
"TMZ is bringing breaking news that will open your
eyes to another world!"
"Oh no," Alicia Witt said, rolling over on the living
room couch. She looked directly at the other redhead in the
room, who sat in a nearby armchair. "Erika, do you have to watch
this?"
"Yes," Erika Christensen replied, crossing her legs
and increasing the volume of the TV show's announcers. "Several
of my clients are on today."
Alicia threw up her hands. Her pale mandarin
features were set in a petulant grimace. "You watch TMZ every
day whether people you know are on or not. A while ago, you
diagnosed me as a celebrity gossip addict. Are you familiar with
the phrase `Physician, heal thyself'?"
Erika ignored her best friend and upped the
television's volume again. In contrast to the tall long-limbed
Alicia, Erika was of middle height and voluptuous. Her eyes were
deep blue while Alicia's were brown, her skin porcelain instead
of pale with a shine beneath. Erika's red hair was straighter
and of brighter hue, with blonde roots. Each woman exuded a
different sort of sexuality. Alicia was all subtle simmering
elegance and dry humor and Erika had a more brazen flare. Both
had pretty faces, but Alicia's crimson hair was styled in a
shoulder length Dido flip and the younger Erika's was in a long
ponytail. Erika was also generally more stable than Alicia was
in her emotions.
"TMZ, the show that taught me dating a celebrity is
the only way I could ever get to be a celebrity!" a man on the TV
endorsed with a laugh.
"Idiot," Alicia spat out. "Do you know how many men
have dated me hoping to become a celebrity and failed? Why don't
you try exercising your talents instead of mooching off others?
Do you even have talents?"
Erika grimaced and amplified the volume further to
drown out her friend's complaints. Next time I'll watch TMZ
alone in my room instead of out here with my regular houseguest
Alicia, she thought. I value her opinions, but I don't value her
moods. Maybe next time I should also ask her before I turn on
the television in the room where she's resting. "You can go
sleep in my bed, Alicia, if you want to."
"No, thanks. I'll stay here." Alicia sat up,
crossed her legs and smirked.
"Welcome back to TMZ, your official source for
entertainment news! I'm your host, Harvey Levin." A gray-haired
lawyer in a blue shirt and red tie beamed at his viewers. "Our
first subject today is Lindsay Lohan. You may know this former
child star as the lead actress from films such as `Mean Girls'
and `Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen'. Changes have
recently occurred in her life. Our reporter Nadine Holliday has
an interview with Lindsay about these events. Nadine?"
A frumpy brunette woman dressed in a tan cardigan and
slacks appeared on the screen. "Thank you, Harvey," Nadine said,
adjusting her glasses. She turned to a twenty-something girl
with freckled skin and obvious dyed blonde hair standing next to
her wearing a black skirt and a white "Les Miserables" T-shirt.
"I'm here with celebrity Lindsay Lohan. How are you feeling
today, Lindsay?"
"Great!" Lindsay said, waving to the viewers. Erika
returned her client's smile and waved back as their fellow
actress Alicia looked on.
"You've had quite an eventful year so far," Nadine
addressed Lindsay, "with three stints in rehab for drug and
emotional problems. How do you feel after going through all
that?"
Lindsay paused and then answered. "I'm happy. I'm a
different person now."
"Why did you get into drugs?"
"I was alone, in spirit if not actually alone, and it
seemed like something to do. I did it to myself and now I have
to deal with the consequences. I'm thankful for what I can take
out of it, though. After all my treatments, I feel clear."
"Clear," Alicia said, smirking. "Interesting choice
of word."
Erika frowned at her friend. "She's not using it in
the sense you're thinking. Lindsay sought no enlightenment from
my church. She brought the idea up and I offered, then Lindsay
said she had already been there. She scored so low on the
personality tests she never wanted to go back. I told her that
was just fine with me."
"She still accepted your counseling?"
"Lindsay sought me out. Just like all my celebrity
clients, she needed an analyst who knows where she's been and can
connect with her. I was also available and good at my job."
"You had to go to rehab several times this year,"
Nadine was saying to Lindsay. "First you went for cocaine
addiction and then for driving under the influence of alcohol,
then a third time to confront your problems again. Why did you
keep going back?"
"Well, it took some time to work," Lindsay answered
with a shrug. "You have to find the right center and therapists.
The third try was the charm."
"That's good. Has your family been supportive of you
through this?"
"Very. I love my family."
"What do you think of her family?" Alicia asked
Erika.
"They're pretty messed up," Erika replied, tucking a
curl of hair behind her ear. "Lindsay's mother thinks it's a
good idea to put your relatives on reality shows and her father's
a born-again Christian who's been in prison. I had trouble
getting along with them at first. After a few sessions, I got
them to accept both their daughter's friendship with me and
Lindsay's sexuality. They had already gone through a lot of
issues with her, so it wasn't that hard."
"You didn't tell me you slept with Lindsay!"
"I haven't yet. I'm waiting for her to make the
first move."
"So you're dating a woman these days," Nadine said to
Lindsay on the TV. "What's she like?"
"Samantha's great!" Lindsay answered cheerfully.
"She's my best friend. I'm pleased I can finally talk about
her."
"For viewers who don't know," Nadine said to the
audience, "Samantha Ronson is a Los Angeles disc jockey whose
claim to fame is being Lindsay's girlfriend. They have been
dating the past two years and only recently become open enough to
admit their relationship. Lindsay, are you lesbian like
Samantha?"
"No," Lindsay said, blanching. "I'm bisexual, I
think."
"So you're still dating men too then?"
"Well, not right now, but if I meet the right guy,
yeah, I would like to date him."
"Drop this line of questioning," a well-dressed
balding man with a mustache stepped into camera view and said.
He appeared very frustrated.
"Sorry, Mr. Zelnick," Nadine told Lindsay's
publicist.
"Hey!" a voice from off-screen shouted. "Ask her
about 'Ugly Betty'!"
Nadine frowned. "Lindsay, until recently, you were
on the ABC show 'Ugly Betty'. Then your character got canceled.
Why did that happen?"
Lindsay shrugged again. "I don't know. The
directors just said my arc was over."
A blond weasel-faced male reporter in a gray suit,
the same man who had called out earlier, jumped in front of the
camera. "Is it true you and the show's star America Ferrerra had
an on-set dildo fight?"
"No!" Lindsay shouted, glowering at the weasel. "You
have me mixed up with someone else!"
"Gary," Nadine said calmly, facing down the other
journalist, "this is my interview. Please back off."
"My client will answer no further questions from this
man," Zelnick said, pointing at Gary.
"You need to convince Lindsay to dump that Zelnick
guy," Alicia told Erika. "He's clearly seeking to stage-manage
her."
"He's succeeding," Erika said. "This entire
interview was Zelnick's idea. He's controlled Lindsay's public
appearances for years. I'm trying to get her to see he's a
detriment, but it's slow going. They're co-dependent and he has
the whole Lohan family as clients. They all have serious ASD."
"Attention Seeking Disorder, also called Histrionic
Personality Disorder?" Alicia asked. "You told me I had that."
"Every celebrity has at least a mild case." Two
weeks as a licensed psychologist, Erika mused to herself, and I'm
already inventing new names for normal mental anxieties. Hooray
for me.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Zelnick," Nadine reiterated. "So,
Lindsay, do you have any new movies coming out soon?"
"Not till next year. My career's kind of in a slow
spiral right now with all these problems I've had to sort
through. I do have 'Labor Pains' coming out in the spring or
summer, though. I also just released my third music album,
'Spirit in the Dark'." Lindsay held up a CD case.
"Well done. What else is ahead for you?"
"I still need to be in charge of taking care of
myself and getting my [bleep] in line and buying a house. I was
living at the Chateau for almost two years. Who blows that much
money on a hotel? I could have bought a house! I will be buying
one soon."
"Great. I have to say, Lindsay, you seem more
confident now than you were the last time I interviewed you."
"Well, that was a long time ago."
"It was last month."
Lindsay blinked. "I guess I have to credit my new
personal counselor. We hooked up ten days ago. She really gets
me."
"Who is this person?"
"Um, I can't say."
"Come on, Lindsay!" Gary yelled. "Tell us! It can't
be Samantha! Is it someone else you've shagged? Hilary Duff,
maybe?"
"Hilary and I aren't dating anymore!" Face going
crimson, Lindsay glared at the weasel and pointed a finger. "Get
him out of here!"
"Oh my," Erika said, a hand going to her mouth.
"Another reactive Freudian slip. Lindsay and I need to work more
on those."
Zelnick stepped in front of Lindsay and waved off
Gary and Nadine. "This interview is over."
"I'm very, very sorry, Mr. Zelnick," Nadine said.
"Lindsay, I also apologize to you." She began lecturing Gary as
the screen changed back to Harvey Levin.
"You should get Lindsay to change back to her natural
hair color," Alicia told Erika. "She looks better with red."
"She thinks better too," Erika agreed. "I'm working
on it."
"Good luck. I think that girl makes my worst days
appear calm on her best days."
"She needs to learn when to keep her mouth shut."
"Next up," Harvey said, "Brangelina. Oscar winners
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are the ultimate Hollywood
super-couple. Brad's ex-wife Jennifer Aniston has much to say
about them."
The brunette "Friends" actress appeared on the TV.
"Brad's a great guy," she told her interviewer. "He's the nicest
man in Hollywood. We had a very loving marriage. We still would
if we were married today. It was very un-cool how Angelina just
stole Brad from me and made the army of babies I never could make
with him. I said it to Vogue magazine, now I'm saying it again
to you. Brad can condemn me for my words all he wants. This is
honestly how I feel."
"Wow," said the interviewer, a middle-aged man with
long brown hair and beard who was dressed like a hippie. "So
you're over Brad?"
"Completely. I'm dating John Mayer now. He's a far
more faithful man."
"He's also more tolerant of her straying and loving
other women," Erika told Alicia with a wink.
Alicia returned Erika's grin. "Ah. What's Jennifer
like in person? I hear she has several disorders."
"She has a wide range. Just like with Lindsay, the
press attention increases Jennifer's neuroses. I started seeing
her during my last semester of college. We're dealing with her
relationship with her mother, her anxiety over turning forty and
having no children, her divorce and many other things. Jennifer
is the sort of client that really breaks a young psychologist
in."
"You're handling it well."
"Thanks."
"Brad and Angelina are great with each other,"
Jennifer told her interviewer. "They're doing wonderful
together. I wish them all the best and I have no lingering ill
will towards them. I just want to get my feelings about what
happened with Angelina off my case before the world. My
therapist told me it was the best way to get over them ... I am
over my feelings now. I'm with a new man. Yes, before you ask,
we did break up in August, but now we're back together. We just
couldn't stay away from each other. I love John and he loves
me."
"Congratulations," the hippie said.
"Thank you, Baxter." Jennifer relaxed.
"Is John Mayer as good at sex as he is at singing?"
Alicia asked Erika.
"He is," Erika replied, smiling wider, "especially
when paired with Jennifer. I'm glad I got them to understand
that they both needed each other in their lives."
"That was Baxter Page with 'Traveling' star Jennifer
Aniston. We now go to Michelle Williams." A collage of photos
appeared on the screen to accompany Harvey's speech. "Two years
ago this former 'Dawson's Creek' actress lost her fiancé Heath
Ledger to drug abuse. Heath starred as the Joker in the new
Batman film 'Dark Knight' and then he passed away of an overdose
right after filming. Psychiatrists speculate that the emotion
his last role required was too much for Heath. How is Michelle
coping? Gary Parker has the story."
Gary the weasel appeared on the screen and walked up
to a young blonde woman attended by two hulking bodyguards. She
only faced him when he called out her name. "Michelle! Can you
tell us how you feel about Heath's death?"
"You guys need to go away!" Michelle growled. The
bodyguards stood between her and Gary. "I've told you to stop
trying to air my personal problems!"
"Oh, come on, Michelle! The public has a right to
know."
"It's my life, loser! Leave me alone!"
"Hmm," Alicia said. "This woman's quite angry."
"Can you blame her?" Erika asked. "The paparazzi
followed Michelle and Heath all through their relationship. They
broke up in public because they couldn't take the attention.
Then Heath got stupid and killed himself with drug addiction,
leaving Michelle to raise their child on her own. The media
jumps all over it and gets in her face every chance they have.
They think every famous person's life is their business."
Michelle echoed Erika's words as she continued to rant live at
Gary on the TV.
"You know, I thought Heath did great as the Joker,"
Alicia said. "It was a terrific swan song."
"I agree," Erika replied. "It wasn't worth dying
for, though. Heath had a gift to give the world. He should have
found a better way of dealing with the angst that came along with
it." The artificial redhead shook her head. "I wish Michelle
was my client. I'm sure she must be going through pain. She
won't speak with anyone about it."
"Have you contacted her?"
"I sent her an e-mail but so far she hasn't written
back. My plate's full with other people anyway. I would help
Michelle, though, if she called."
"Breaking super-couple news!" Harvey bellowed when he
came back on the TV. "Madonna makes another slam at her former
husband Guy Ritchie!"
Alicia looked at Erika. "This one was a failure for
you, right?"
"Yeah," Erika said. "You can't credit me for it,
though. Madonna's divorce wasn't my fault. You know as well as
I how hard the Queen of Pop is to get along with. I couldn't
help her get over her pre- and post-divorce anxieties. I tried
telling her carefully that it was because of her overexerted
narcissism and unwillingness to admit she had problems, but she
paid little attention."
"Maybe if you were a Kabbalist..."
"I tried making sense of that religion. I got the
gist of it. That wasn't enough for Madonna. Combined with all
her other issues, that was too much for me. I had to tell
Madonna goodbye. I got something out of seeing her, though."
Alicia's frown reversed. "I'm sure you did. Was it
a lot of money?"
"Yep. I didn't ask for any, but then she threw a
check at me when she walked out. I donated what I didn't need to
charity, as usual."
"Same as your celebrity earnings, hmm? Good."
"Will Smith and Jada Pinkett," Harvey went on. "Is
this pair of married actors headed for separation? Find out
after our commercial break."
"Are they headed for separation?" Alicia asked Erika.
"No," Erika said, muting the television. "At least,
they aren't now. They needed a reminder about respecting
boundaries and communicating after eleven years of marriage. It
was very easy for me to give them that. They're as close as John
and Jennifer are and I didn't have to sleep with them to get
through their initial barriers. Will taught me some new chess
moves, too. I'm ready to challenge you again."
"You'll still never beat me," Alicia told her friend
with a laugh. "Do you think I'll ever be on TMZ?"
"Probably not. They only go after the popular
people. You keep doing independent films and short cable TV
stints, they don't come after you as much."
"I'll continue as I have then," Alicia said, nodding
at Erika's reference to her recent run on "Law & Order". "I
don't think I ever want to be on this show."
"At least you didn't get an embarrassing nipple slip
in your one appearance."
"You never mind showing your nipples!"
"I do when other people don't want to see them. The
reporter talked all about my faux pas and not a bit about my
acting, even after I covered myself. I still haven't heard the
end of it from my agent. Some online trolls also used the clip
as an excuse to defame me. You can probably guess what they
said."
"Yes." Alicia grimaced. "You're a member of a
strange new religion that has harmed its followers for no good
reason. I know how you hate hearing that."
"Yeah. I understand why people say such things, but
I'm not part of the problem." Erika sighed. "I'm just a young
celebrity Scientologist trying to live her life with the world
against her. I don't use my religion for evil and I'm not alone.
Why can't all these Anonymous people see that? Why can't they
be like the only one of their kind I have ever met in person now
that they're actively opposing my Church? Why must they assume
we're all equally worthy of disrespect?"
"You should confront them as you did that hacker you
told me about," Alicia suggested, "or as you did Keri back when
we filmed 'The Upside of Anger' together."
"I wish I had the courage," Erika said, recalling the
drama film she and Alicia had made with Keri Russell, Evan Rachel
Wood and Erika's younger brother Dane five years ago. "I'm too
apprehensive, though. I don't want to get blood thrown at me or
anything like that."
"I see. You're probably right to be worried. These
days, very few people are willing to open themselves. You put
the truth in their face and still they call you names."
"Like some of your ex-boyfriends?"
Both actresses scowled at Alicia's nod, bringing to
mind her long line of breakups. "It seems you're the only one I
can stick with and love," Alicia said, then smiled at Erika. "I
wish I could marry you."
"I wish we could get married too," Erika affirmed,
clenching her fists as she thought of Proposition 8, the recently
passed California homosexual wedding ban. "Not that I would
marry a woman, of course," she then corrected herself. "The
zealots in my church wouldn't care for it. I would like to have
the chance, however."
"You would marry me, right, if your religion wasn't
an issue?" Alicia batted her eyes.
"Definitely," Erika said with a smirk. "That is, if
I wished to get married. I don't. As I told Doug when we
started getting serious, it's easier to practice free love when
you have no husband. That's what Goldie and Susan taught me.
It's also simpler to maintain a celebrity career and live on the
opposite side of the world from your ideal man."
Erika was speaking of a London nightclub owner whom
she had met while filming "Upside" and come to consider her soul
mate. Doug Ramsay was nervous around her in the beginning, but
Erika had worn him down just by being who she was. "I don't
think you really want to marry me either, Lish," she added to her
other favorite friend.
"No, I suppose not," Alicia said. "I love you and
all the other women we've fucked together, yet I still keep
looking for guys. I hope I find the right one eventually."
"What about that small-time producer you were with
before the last one? He was good."
"Nathan?" Alicia shook her head. "That was over two
weeks ago. I decided Nathan hadn't done enough with himself in
life."
"Your standards are too high. He loves you."
"I loved him too, but he wasn't right for me."
Alicia waved in dismissal. "Your show's back on."
Erika returned her focus to the television and
un-muted it. "I'm here with Kirk Cameron," Gary the weasel was
saying. "This notorious born-again Christian actor recently
starred in the film 'Fireproof'."
"That's correct, Gary," said the smug brown-haired
man standing next to the reporter. "Have you seen my movie?"
"No, Kirk. Romantic dramas with a religious message
aren't my thing. I heard it was good, though. I also heard you
had trouble with your female lead. The movie was supposed to be
about passionate love, but you couldn't even embrace your
co-star. You had to call your wife onto the set and kiss her
instead."
"That's true," Kirk answered. "My co-star wasn't my
wife. I'm not going to hell, Gary, especially not over a movie.
I've been this way since I starred on 'Growing Pains' in the
1980s, when my sister Candace was on 'Full House'. I won't do
anything contrary to God's laws."
"How does your wife feel about that? Did she like
having to drop everything just to be in your movie un-credited
and let you have your selfishness?"
"It doesn't matter how she felt. I am not going to
hell. The director didn't like her being there either, but I
told him that if my wife wasn't on set for my love-scenes I would
walk off the film."
"Is this stance on your personal space hurting your
career?"
"I'm a little offended by these questions, Gary."
"Well, our viewers aren't. Come on, Kirk, tell me.
Do you have a film that isn't Christian themed lined up any time
in the future?"
"Uh, no. I haven't had made a non-Christian themed
movie in ten years and I plan to keep it that way."
"Don't you want to expand your horizons?"
"No! All I need is God!"
Alicia raised her eyebrows, looking at Erika. "Don't
tell me that man's your client too."
"Not yet," Erika replied. Her face was contorted.
"His sister Candace called me this afternoon asking if I could
take Kirk's case. Apparently, his evangelism is really hurting
his social life and he's having trouble dealing with the issues."
"He's not a Puritan who's also a happy sexpot like
Candace, is he?"
"Nope. Kirk's more one of those 'all the world needs
to be just like me' religious types." Erika made quotes in the
air as she spoke. "I don't know if I want to work with him."
"Why? You could really help him. You're an actress
who's needed to balance religious issues with your career."
"Yes, but with me it's all been unfair issues. You
know I'm not a selfish sermonizer. It's only because so many
other followers of my church are that people assume I'm the same
and get on my nerves."
"Kirk, you lead a ministry that regularly trashes any
religion or philosophy that isn't your own," Gary said. "You
really shouldn't be surprised when people express disapproval."
"If they want to go to hell, that's their just
reward!" Kirk declared with a nonchalant sneer. "I'm doing what
Jesus would do."
"Someone is seriously confused," Alicia said.
"His sister agrees," Erika replied. "You've met her
at Friendship-sponsored charity events. She's not like Kirk.
Candace gets along better with others and is far more
open-minded. She's a faithful Christian, but she doesn't let
that stop her from enjoying herself and being friends with people
who aren't the same."
"Right." Alicia smiled, thinking of the many
occasions she and Erika had spent good times with Candace
Cameron. "I like Candace. I regret that she won't love anyone
other than her husband. Even so, she adores him with such
fervent abandon it doesn't keep her from being inspirational. I
once wanted to submit to a man like that."
"I thought you still did."
"Well, now I want one who's also open to my needs.
If they threatened what I have with you, no way would I ever stay
with them."
"Thanks." Very few of Alicia's boyfriends were like
that, Erika contemplated. Nathan was, but she dumped him. Maybe
I need to get them back together like I did John and Jennifer.
Hmm.
"So you think God should have more influence on the
world?" Gary asked Kirk.
"He already does. Look at the law that just passed
in California. Farewell, gay marriage! It's about time. Now if
we can only repeat Proposition 8 in the rest of the country."
"Fuck this guy!" Alicia snapped, seething.
"No way," Erika said. "I would never fuck him. He
just wants his wife and that's okay with me. She's welcome to
him if she can stand him. Candace doesn't want me screwing Kirk.
She just hopes I can open his mind. His stance on God is
hurting his relationships with other people whether he wants to
acknowledge it or not."
"I agree. You know, you should take Kirk's case. If
you could get him to counter-evangelize you as a good
Scientologist, maybe you could get the online bashers to lay off
you."
"No. I have to accept them. I can't let it be
popularly known that I'm a psychologist. How would I explain
it?" Erika sighed and then attempted to do just that.
"Four years ago my movie 'Upside of Anger' failed
with critics. Since then only small parts, low-distribution
independent films and mixed-rating TV shows have loomed on my
horizon. I have an interesting character in 'Veronika Decides to
Die' coming out this spring that may change things for me, but
until my career improves I need a sideline to acting.
Psychotherapy allows me to open myself towards other people and
find what makes them tick. I also enjoy helping people with
emotional problems. I always have since I was young.
"Yes, you're right. My religion hates psychology.
That's why I had to get my degree online and in secret. To
further keep my business quiet, I've been doing all my clients
pro bono unless they want to pay me and only advertising through
the Friendship's hidden networks. No, I usually don't send
people to my church. If you have to ask why, you have had your
head in the sand your entire life."
"Right," Alicia said, watching Erika's mock
interview. "Sorry, I forgot."
"Kirk, a week ago you had another public
confrontation with atheists over the certainty of God. Aren't
you sick of those?" asked the weasel on the TV.
"You bet I am, Gary! People need to accept that God
is real and that's that!"
"Hey," Erika said when Alicia looked at her,
"Scientology has never denied a supreme deity is out there. We
just don't define that being and try to force our view on others.
At least I don't. I know how that can make people annoyed."
"You should take Kirk's case," Alicia repeated. "If
anyone can wake him up, it's you."
"I actually have another advisor in mind for him -- a
radical religious thinker you and I have both seen regularly for
the past five years."
Alicia changed her expression, guessing whom Erika
was talking about. "The man with no chin? The one who only
recognizes the element of surprise?"
Erika smirked back. "Exactly."
"I approve. Still, you need to see Kirk too."
Alicia turned back to the TV.
"Come on, Kirk," Gary said. "You have a brain. Why
don't you use it and let other people be whatever religion they
want?"
"They aren't using their brains, Gary. We can't know
the path God wants us to follow. If you think you can get to
heaven by living like you're going to hell ..."
"Gary, I'm sorry I have to cut you off," TMZ host
Harvey interjected. "We're low on time and the network has
requested that our show not serve as any celebrity's pulpit.
Let's move on to what's happening with Jenna Elfman. Here's Sean
Borg."
Erika hit her remote's mute button. She did not want
to hear from any more ignorant self-absorbed fanatics, especially
not followers of her own creed. "I'm sorry, Alicia. I didn't
think today's TMZ would be this bad."
Alicia gave her an understanding expression. "I
think that watchdog group said it best. 'Harvey Levin is the one
gossip monger who has done more damage to entertainment reporting
in recent years than anyone else. His gutter operation TMZ has
almost singlehandedly transformed Hollywood entertainment
reporting into a street battle fueled by self-hatred, jealousy
and anger, with no concern for what once determined greatness,
excellence or fame.' Levin combined his show's format with that
of 'Access Hollywood' recently and that only made things worse."
"Amen," Erika said. "Unfortunately, though, he
didn't have to work very hard."
"Right," Alicia agreed. "It's going to take
celebrities forever to undo the damage they've done to themselves
these past few decades. We have people behaving badly and other
people taking advantage. It doesn't matter if one cooperates
with the other or not. The process keeps happening and it hurts
us all." Alicia waved at the television, where yet another
celebrity was contributing to their own career woes while hyping
themselves. "This is the reason there's an actor's strike now.
No one wants to respect us and we can't see it. Even people who
haven't been part of the problem like you or me are getting
dumped on and affected. It makes me so upset."
"The worst thing is, we can't easily stop it," Erika
fumed. "My counseling practice is my personal way to try and
help the crisis but if the wrong person finds out..."
"You don't need to remind me," Alicia interrupted.
She smiled at her friend and adopted a persona similar to another
zealot from Erika's church who had introduced them to each other.
"What are you doing involved in psychology, Erika? Don't you
know it kills?"
"It does not, Tom!" Erika replied, picking up the
familiar skit. "I've studied psychology since I got cast in
'Home Room' back in 2001 and I know that like every school of
thought, our religion included, it's both good and bad. I have
no problem practicing psychology alongside a liberal view of
Scientology's teachings and I've found them remarkably similar."
"How can you be so glib about the church that raised
you?"
"I approach Scientology as an applied philosophy,
Tom, not as a brainwashing cult. I don't let anyone control me."
"You ignorant sheep! Next thing I know, you'll get
post-partum depression when you have children and become addicted
to Paxil or some other mind-altering drug!"
"No way, Tom! If I ever have a child, I'll be proud
and cheery to bring him or her onto this planet. I mean no
offense to any woman who does get depressed, understand. I know
from working with others and my own personal experiences that it
is not just a mental illness. I hope those who suffer from
depression and all other disorders get the help they need from
whatever source best suits them. For myself, I'll enjoy bearing
and raising my kids in the unsheltered real world. Nor will I
use any anxieties I have as an excuse to sell medicines with
harmful side effects. You also won't ever catch me starring in
obnoxious Volkswagen commercials."
"You don't know the history of psychology, Erika. I
do."
"Actually, Tom Cruise, I do know the history of
psychology. That line won't work on me. You see, unlike you, I
have heard several detailed lectures on the science from sources
both for and against it, inside and outside our religion. Also
unlike you, I have a bachelor's degree in psychology from the
University of Phoenix. 'History of Psychology' was one of my
best subjects. I graduated maxima cum laude."
"Cum laude," Alicia ceased her impression, chuckling.
"Loaded words."
Erika returned the expression. "You know I like to
come loud." She inched up the skirt of her gray kimono,
displaying more of her firm legs. The tigers and bamboo designs
woven into the garment illustrated Erika's personality. "You
love it too, right?"
Alicia stood up and undid the sash of her own kimono,
a green robe emblazoned with sand dunes and bulrushes. "I feel
the need for it now."
"Let's get physical," Erika said, beckoning. TMZ was
almost over and when it came to sex Erika was ravenous. She
unfastened her garment and opened it, exposing the smooth swell
of her creamy breasts and large rose-colored nipples. Her hips
were full and sensuous with acres of blonde hair running riot
between them in an exotic vee.
Alicia dropped her robe from her shoulders, revealing
a toned chalk white body with small breasts, erect pink nipples
and a dark red heart of hair at the juncture of the legs. Alicia
walked up to Erika's brown leather easy chair and stood posed
over her friend. After a second of ogling, she leaned down and
kissed Erika on the mouth. Erika's arms came up to embrace
Alicia while Alicia's hands grasped the chair's sides. The TV
remote fell to the floor hard as the two friends touched their
tongues.
The television's volume resumed. "I am very angry at
the recent ban on gay marriage in California," actor Josh Brolin
told Nadine. "Who gives a [bleep]! Who cares? The ban doesn't
mean gay and lesbian people are going to stop kissing in the
streets, just cause they can't get married. That's the issue for
the religious: that it's visible and it's always going to be
visible. It ain't going to go away. Gay life is more
mainstream, but at the same time things like this happen and you
go, 'You got to be kidding me!' Especially in California ... I
think it's awful, but I understand it. Everybody has their
opinion."
"This is our opinion," Erika said, grinning at Alicia
as they parted lips.
"It is," Alicia replied. She knelt and picked up the
remote, clicked the television off, and then went back to kissing
Erika. The other actress chuckled as she stroked Alicia's neck
and hair in rejoin.
We can't ever make out like this in public, Erika
thought. Press photographs of us together might damage both our
careers. It would also affect my reputation among the fanatics
who follow my religion. Alicia understands. She knows all too
well how people often see women who love other women. She
struggled with her lesbian desires for almost two decades,
denying them and relegating them behind her acting in several
movies with homosexual overtones. I tried to help her but she
pushed me away. Then I was finally able to get Alicia through
her resentment five years ago with Keri and Evan's aid. We've
been together since.
Smiling, Erika stabbed her tongue into Alicia's
mouth. Her girlfriend broke their kiss after licking Erika's
teeth in reply and then got on her knees.
Alicia moved her hands across the chair arms and onto
Erika's body. Angling in, she buffed her lips over Erika's
throat and cheeks. Erika fondled Alicia's naked assets in
return, concentrating on her upper back muscles. Memories flowed
into each woman as they stroked the other. Both had firmly toned
bodies thanks to the martial arts classes they had taken
regularly since late 2003. Doug had introduced Erika and Alicia
to their karate sensei, who like Doug was a Texan with a
background in law enforcement. Both actresses enjoyed the health
and mental benefits of martial arts study. Alicia currently held
a brown belt and Erika had attained her own black belt the past
summer. She trained hard almost every day to preserve her skill.
I do this just about every day also, Erika thought as
she and Alicia continued their sex. I like nothing better than
making love, whether my partner's a man or a woman. They only
need to be my friend. Like psychology and combat, fucking
improves my drama skills. It helps my emotions too. Alicia's
parting of Erika's robe and caresses of her breasts showed Erika
that her best girlfriend agreed.
Karate was not the only way of fighting the actresses
practiced. They also took courses in Brazilian jujitsu, tai chi,
and Hapkido. Erika and Alicia had both attained black belts in
the latter martial art. Erika did not know if she would ever
need the skills but found the benefits worth it. That would
especially be the case if she were to get cast in an action movie
or attacked when alone. Whether or not that happened, Erika knew
she had enhanced her ability to regulate her body functions and
attitudes through her exercises. That was invaluable to anyone's
life.
It's funny that it took so long for me to get into
martial arts, Erika reflected, feeling Alicia's hands chopping a
rhythm on her ribs. I've always been athletic and admired the
philosophy of Bruce Lee as much as that of my church founder.
Like many people, though, I never really saw the need to acquire
further education and discipline in the things I esteemed. I
wanted to be tough, but I actually wasn't. Then I met Doug, he
introduced me to training with Walker, and now I live strong.
It's good that I don't have to keep my martial arts skills
hidden. People treat me more carefully once they know.
There were many secrets in Erika's life. Her church
was opposed to psychology and all its related sciences despite
their common goals. Scientology also had a negative history with
alternative sexualities, so Erika could not air that she was
bisexual. She had to keep up a closed-off façade and deny rumors
except to her friends. This led most who observed Erika from a
distance to assume she was exactly like Scientology advocates
such as Tom Cruise and the same went for her associates. Erika's
most fervent hope was that someday she and all people,
Scientologist and otherwise, could stand as themselves in the
light and not be unfairly mocked or spurned.
I will enjoy that when it comes, she thought, hugging
and fondling Alicia. Until then, I have the people I love. I
can express myself to them without fear or question. With my
friends at my side, I can face any foe as strongly as Doug's hero
Don Quixote charged at muleteers and windmills. Doug calls me
his "Dulcinea", his creative spark. I suppose I am that, even if
because of the distance between us the notion is naught but flame
and air. I love Alicia also, and so many others. When joined
with theirs, my spirit can neither be crushed nor silenced. One
day it may erupt bright against the worst of humanity and send an
echo to the alien civilizations in which my church believes. I
am not a messiah or prophet, but I still would not mind
participating in such an event.
Concentrating on her current circumstances, Erika
fondled Alicia's waist, pressing fingertips against spine and
muscle. Her hands came around and teased the other actress's
stomach nerves, then moved to Alicia's thighs.
Alicia pushed Erika's kimono off her body. Her
digits struck the nipples and other sensitive areas of Erika's
torso, demonstrating Alicia's genius intelligence along with the
dexterity she had built up in her many years playing classical
piano on stage. Alicia stoked Erika's inner fires with memory of
the hotspots and compassion towards the areas that burned too
fierce. Their coupling's pattern was difficult to see but
nevertheless Alicia had her end under control.
Erika's hands were equally expert and tumultuous on
Alicia's body. They had been friends for seven years and lovers
for five. All their sparring, cuddling and other interaction had
taught each of them much about the other. The only emotion they
felt was enthusiasm and pleasure towards what they were doing.
The only repression they showed was when things got too intense.
Aware of each other's needs and ready to respond, they drove one
another towards climax.
Erika fell back in the armchair, the sweat of her
gleaming body staining the seat's leather. Alicia kissed a trail
of fire down Erika's torso, her red-curled head pausing to lap
her friend's tits, belly and thighs. Alicia stopped when she
reached the fertile expanse of curls that covered Erika's vagina.
She shoved two fingers within the mass and followed with her
tongue. Erika whimpered and wailed as her passion rose.
Alicia's breath came hard against her cunt, blasting
within and rousing the juices. The tip of the natural redhead's
tongue hit the artificial redhead's clit, vibrating it back and
forth. Erika's blonde curls had always had a slight crimson hue
and now after her recent dye job they were as flushed ruby as her
face and upper body. The vivid auburn waves shone under the
living room's dim fluorescent lamps. Their sheen increased as
Erika watched an accompanying burgundy display form on Alicia's
skin.
My hair looks good this color, Erika thought. It
matches my attitude quite well these days. I may go back to
blonde or brown in the future, but red works for now. She gasped
and shoved Alicia's head into her snatch.
"Yes," Alicia whispered, fondling Erika's thighs as
she pushed them apart further. Both their hearts beat with
anticipation. Alicia's fatigue was forgotten now, her lust
awakened by Erika's presence and what Brolin had said on the
television. She licked Erika's slit up and down, fondling her
rump in counterpoint. Erika shivered, thinking of the many
marvelous instances Alicia had stuck a dildo in both her front
and rear holes. We have to do it again later in my bedroom, she
thought. I'll bang Alicia too.
Erika's girlfriend bit hard at her clit, lips forcing
the hood into retreat. Honey was streaming out of Erika now,
darkening both the chair seat cushion and Alicia's face.
Alicia's tongue and fingers lapped Erika with enthusiasm while
the rest of Alicia's body shook, turned her on by her own
actions. It did not matter that Erika was no longer touching her
and was instead clutching the leather arms of the chair.
"I'm coming!" Erika proclaimed, feeling an orgasm
rise. She screamed with rapture as Alicia deepened her caresses.
Alicia sucked down the fluid that flowed from between Erika's
legs and then began moving upwards. Erika wiggled her seated
body as Alicia's head rose. Alicia was blazing another path
across Erika's sweaty chest and stomach, her kisses progressively
wetter and firmer. When their faces were next to each other,
Alicia smacked Erika's open mouth. Erika felt another wave of
ecstasy go off within her when she tasted her own nectar on her
girlfriend's tongue.
"You could have come louder than that," Alicia said.
She pushed Erika into the chair and leaned forward to stroke the
other girl's tits and cunt.
"Prove it," Erika replied, giggling. She shivered
with sensation and put her hands on Alicia. Erika squeezed her
girlfriend's left breast, flicking the nipple. Her other hand
went to Alicia's clit and manipulated it in circular motions.
The many repetitions of Erika's martial arts routines went into
this technique and Alicia shook under the tender assault.
Laughing, she kissed Erika's lips again and massaged her friend's
legs.
The chair supported the two actresses as their
lovemaking continued. Erika and Alicia snuggled naked together
on the seat, which was just big enough for both of them. They
took turns suckling one another's breasts, biting and stroking
the aureoles with tongues and fingers. Their red hair mingled as
they exchanged hugs. Hands roamed, pulling pleasure from every
curve of each woman's body. Their clits ground together as thigh
collided with thigh. Alicia released a series of moans when she
achieved her own orgasm, reveling in Erika's closeness. Erika
could feel her next explosion near but held it off. She wanted
it to be better than the climaxes she had already enjoyed in the
session so far.
Alicia showed no mercy in hammering Erika's nerve
endings. The symphony throbbed and built to crescendo.
Percussion was in Alicia's fingers, winds in her breath and
strings in the saliva and other juices dripping from her tongue.
Her clit was a hard wand thrusting against Erika's, joined by the
rubbing of satin thighs. Erika gave Alicia back all the same and
more. Soon it was too much for Erika to bear. She pushed Alicia
away, shrieking higher this time as she reached a new level of
passion. Alicia jumped to her feet and fingered her own pussy as
she watched, letting out a gasp. The visual stimulation sparked
her sex gun. Once she had peaked and settled, Alicia knelt back
down on the floor and kissed Erika one final time -- for the
moment.
"That was good," Alicia said after they had swapped
tongues. She stuck a finger in her slit and gathered some juice,
then fed it to herself and Erika between words. "I'm happy you
woke me up now."
Erika grinned, thinking of the argument Alicia had
aped. "Can you believe people are still talking about those
things Tom told Matt Lauer three years later?" she asked,
swallowing Alicia's gingery essence. "They act as if it's all
he's ever done!"
"I know. The man is so full of himself he's blind to
everything, like Lindsay and that Kirk fellow."
"Yeah," Erika agreed. "He's inconsiderate of his own
needs most of all. Tom's subsided a bit recently as he's watched
his Hollywood ranking head down the tubes, but he's still pretty
offensive sometimes. I wish he'd get over himself. Tom's issues
are recurring and they affect every one of us. I doubt I'll ever
get him as a client, but if I did..." Erika smirked. "It would
be one heck of a job."
"You'd have to treat his wife too," Alicia said.
"She has even more hang-ups."
"Agreed."
<I>I can't change ...</I> Lynyrd Skynyrd sang from
Erika's cell phone nearby, interrupting them. <I>Oh no, I can't
change! Lord help me, I can't change!</I>
"Uh oh," Erika said. She separated herself from
Alicia and stood up. "That's Dane's ring tone. We may have a
bigger problem."
"Oh dear," Alicia answered, flopping onto and
reclining in the armchair. Dane Christensen was the youngest of
Erika's three brothers and the most bothersome. "It's been a
month since he last called you, hasn't it? You left him messages
about your recent achievements but he never responded. He didn't
even show up at your family Thanksgiving yesterday. You don't
suppose he's in jail again?"
"I pray he's not. You mind eavesdropping? I know
this is my family business, but I could use your advice on it."
"Sure, no problem."
I should just accept Dane, Erika thought as she
grabbed the phone. It's not like I'm the only celebrity with a
troubled sibling looking up to them. Two United States
Presidents come immediately to mind.
"Hello, Dane," she said after confirming the number
"Free Bird" accompanied and pressing the speaker button. "Long
time."
"Erika!" Dane replied, winded. "I'm glad I caught
you! I need your assistance again. I've done something really
dumb."
"How much is the bond?"
"I'm not at a police station. It's nothing like my
arrests. It's something else." There was a pause. "Evan broke
up with me."
"Evan broke up with you?" Erika repeated, confused.
Dane met Evan Rachel Wood when they played love interests in our
film together, she remembered. They're around the same age, late
teens back then and early twenties now. Dane acquired a deep
crush on Evan when they met, but she had already fallen for
another man. My brother also wanted to explore his own bisexual
desires. Dane and Evan stayed good friends, though, and
occasional fuck-buddies. I slept with Evan too -- it was the
closest I've ever gotten to incest. Evan's like Lolita. No one
can resist her once she gets them in her sights.
Evan ran off after the movie was finished. She
wanted to be with her new boyfriend Jamie Bell. Erika talked to
them a few times during the next three years and met them for
various dates and get-togethers. She was their friend but they
didn't see each other very often. It was the same with Dane. He
hung out with Evan, but they stopped having sex when Jamie turned
out to be the "envious of other guys" type. Evan got bored with
Jamie in late 2006 and dumped him. Erika thought it was too bad.
Jamie was okay mostly, she said to herself, and maybe Evan could
have gotten him to change the ways he wasn't. I guess they were
just too young. My closeness with Evan declined further as she
looked for a new mate.
Erika scowled, recalling whom Evan had courted most
recently. The relationship lasted two years and was extremely
passionate. Things collapsed a week ago according to TMZ but
Evan had not filled Erika in on the exact details. Erika did not
like Evan's new boyfriend and Evan did not appreciate that.
"You're not what I need anymore," Evan told Erika when they
discussed the relationship, never using those exact words but
still putting across the emotion. "I have developed different
feelings. Stop judging me and get out of my life." It didn't
take much of this for Erika to follow Evan's request.
"Dane, slow down," Erika said, putting aside her
reminisces. She sat on the edge of the television table and
glanced at Alicia, who shared her expression. Alicia's probably
thinking all the same things I just did, Erika deduced. She's
also Evan's friend but she doesn't really know Dane outside of
what I've told her and the few occasions they've met. There was
only that one time we all worked together. "When did you and
Evan start officially dating?" Erika asked Dane for both Alicia
and herself.
"We weren't. I was her friend like always. I was
living with Evan's brother Ira in an apartment. I met Ira at a
party, I thought he was cute and we started going out. Ira's
bisexual, like Evan and you."
"You're that way also, Dane."
"Right. Anyway, we were an item about four months.
Ira was my wingman, the same way Alicia's your wing-woman. We
picked up girls together and had fun with each other when we
couldn't find anyone else. Then he broke up with me and moved
out. Ira said I was drifting away from him. I was, kind of.
After Ira left, I was lonely and then Evan called me. I decided
to try getting close to her again. I wanted to get Evan away
from You-Know-Who."
"I see." Erika guessed that Dane's experience with
trying to end Evan's relationship had been much like her own.
"Now you're not friends anymore."
"It's worse than that. I tried getting Evan to join
Scientology."
"You what?"
"I'm sorry, Erika! I thought it was the best chance
for her! She's been so moping and sad all the time since she
ended things with Jamie. It slacked off some when she got her
new boyfriend, but you know how we've been afraid it would happen
again?"
"Yes. Evan's guy has a bad reputation."
"Yeah. When she called me after Ira told her we
broke up and I went to see her, I saw that she was downhearted
just as we feared. I suggested our church to Evan because it was
working for me at the time. I gave her all the appropriate
literature, but she tossed it in my face and told me to go visit
Xenu!"
Shit, Erika thought. Evan used my personal
catchphrase for "Go to hell" in Scientologist terms. Damn it,
Dane, you must have seriously set her off. "This doesn't sound
like you, little brother. You've never been that devoted about
religion, not even when I talked to you during your scripture
study these last three months. What's changed?"
"Uh, well, I've been seeing this new auditor trying
to sort out my problems."
"Auditing is our sacrament that covers confession and
life coaching," Erika answered Alicia's glance.
"Who's there, Erika?"
"Hello, Dane," Alicia said. "It's only me."
"Oh. Hey, Alicia. Are you listening in on Erika's
phone again?"
"You know she tells me everything -- well, most
things."
"I'm not sure I want you hearing all this."
"Dane, Alicia's your friend too," Erika broke in.
"How many times has she been there with me when I've bailed you
out of jail?"
"Two out of three."
"All three, actually," Alicia said. "You were
arrested for criminal mischief, trespassing and vandalism."
"Graffiti. It wasn't anything serious! I was just
acting out trying to get attention. I'm a dumb kid."
"She knows, Dane," Erika said. "Alicia is familiar
with our family history. Tell him, Lish."
Alicia took a breath. "Your father sells insurance
and your mother's a construction manager. They're very
successful. However, they also dropped out of college in the
1960s and joined, then left several new religions. They were in
the People's Temple, the Hare Krishna, the Children of God and
other sects. Ultimately they found Scientology and it put them
on their feet. They got married and started their careers, then
had four children. Why so many faiths, Dane?"
"Our parents were looking for answers. They wanted a
church that taught skills for the real world and gave people
strength and self-awareness. Scientology was the closest thing
to that they found. They were going to leave it too for a while,
but then they started having kids and wanted to raise them
inside."
"We're Mom and Dad's offspring," Erika added.
"Scientology is our creed, but people raised us. It's easy to
manage if you keep a positive attitude and dominate your
surroundings. I give you advice on how to do that every time we
discuss this issue."
Alicia nodded. "Indeed. Your brother Nick was
firstborn, then you, Erika. Finally, there was you, Dane, and
your twin Brando. Steven and Kathy raised you all in
Scientology, home schooling you in the Montessori system and
letting their church provide various extracurricular activities.
They put Erika in some pageants and she turned it into an acting
career. You once wanted to follow her. Then you changed your
mind after your first film. These days, you're in business with
Brando making T-shirts."
"Wrong. That fell through last year. Brando's a
motorcycle mechanic now and I work as a grocery stocker when I'm
not doing church stuff. Do you know what Nick does?"
"He owns a used car dealership. I bought my Chrysler
from him."
"Then you're probably aware he's not that active in
Scientology."
"Yes. He told me that people think your religion's a
money-making scam. Being a used car salesman is bad enough
without adding Scientology to the equation. Nick still believes.
However, he doesn't want his customers knowing he's a
Scientologist."
"Nick shouldn't feel that way, but he does," Erika
said. "I understand it and that makes me hate it all the more."
"Your church has issues, Erika," Alicia replied.
"Let's review. A bipolar former naval officer named L. Ron
Hubbard started your religion in the 1950s. Hubbard didn't like
psychology and had his own ideas about mental illness. He wasn't
very famous until he became a guru despite his past life as a
prolific author. His church charges people thousands over time
to tell them they can solve their own neuroses by becoming aware
of the causes and getting enlightened or 'clear'.
"Then when you get far enough in and still have
problems, the ministers turn around and blame all your negative
thoughts on extraterrestrial possession. Human souls get
reincarnated in an endless cycle with these alien ghosts led by
the devil Xenu tormenting them. Everyone has the capability to
banish Xenu and his demons, but only Scientology can show you the
right way to do that and give you extraordinary powers.
"The lack of such abilities in Scientology's followers has caused
a series of civil and criminal suits directed at your church
worldwide during the fifty-five years of its existence. There
have also been legal battles over the expulsion of people from
the church, mysterious deaths and copyright infringements. All
this has led to a large number of websites that criticize
Scientology and discourage support for it. Some governments have
agreed with the criticism and failed to recognize Scientology
with legal standing. This included the United States until 1993,
Australia until 1973 and Germany until just last week.
"Scientology is enjoyed by celebrities because of its
focus on communication and awareness along with its professed
support for human rights and alternative mental health regimens.
Other people like it for the same reasons. Erika, do I have all
that correct?"
"Basically. Xenu's not as important as you let on.
He's just a devil figure. Furthermore, our creator was a science
fiction writer and many people hold that against us. They think
we're nuts to believe in aliens. I tell myself the mythology of
my creed is just metaphor and the philosophy is what matters.
Not everyone agrees."
"Yes," Alicia said. "That's your motivation for not
advertising your religion much. You've seen all the websites and
studies that call Scientology greedy, crazy and so on."
"It's also the reason I value my non-Scientologist
friends like you."
"Our parents introduced us to those sites," Dane
supplied. "They wanted us to be in Scientology with eyes wide
open. We needed to stay aware of how people saw us and avoid
being part of the abuse. Mom and Dad didn't want us ending up
like some of Scientology's ex-members or the people in the
religions they left."
"Not that we would turn out that way," Erika said.
"Our parents said they would still love us even if we did. Mom
and Dad felt we needed to be ready, though. I was becoming a
star and they got apprehensive."
"You've talked to me about this before, Erika,"
Alicia replied. "I know the way you were raised is why you
follow your religion in a liberal manner and you have problems
with fanatic Scientologists like Tom Cruise. Your family is also
part of a reformation movement inside the church that you believe
has to be kept hidden from the public. On top of that, your
family is in the Friendship society. I was inducted into that
same Masonic order by my parents when I graduated high school at
age fourteen."
"Wow," Dane appraised the summation. "You know
everything about us!"
"Almost. Your sister's told me some and those
websites have filled in the rest. I just Google your church
name, look at sites both for and against Scientology, filter out
the bias, and I get all I need to know. What about this new
auditor you're seeing, though? I don't think Erika or I know
about her."
Dane paused before he answered. "I began seeing her
last month. After I got busted for climbing the water tower back
in July, I was feeling lost and I decided to get into the church
a little more to work out my depression. I started auditing at
Scientology's Celebrity Center here in Los Angeles three times a
week and working for the church on my days off from Safeway. You
didn't know about this?"
"No," Alicia replied.
"Mom and Dad suggested it," said Erika. "I approved.
You're an adult now, Dane. You need to stop being a brat."
"I know. I'm sorry, Erika."
"It's okay. Just go on. What happened? Did our
ministers put you on the RPF again? I thought I heard you got
out."
"RPF?" Alicia raised an eyebrow. "Is that the
Scientology boot camp where you do community service and run
around reciting scripture while ministers act like drill
sergeants?"
"Yep," Erika said. "The full title is
'Rehabilitation Project Force'. It's a program intended for
ministers who aren't doing their jobs well but public
Scientologists can also try it. Basically, it's supposed to get
rid of chronic bad behavior. You work for the church and learn
how to get along with others while undergoing the regimen you
described. There are progressively more intense levels. Dane
and I were on the lowest rung like most people. Dane entered the
RPF hoping it would fix his depression and whatever else led him
to do things like climb that water tank and spray his name at the
top. I suggested Walker's dojo but Dane didn't want that."
"Your sensei scares me, Erika."
"Well, he shouldn't. He's a great instructor. I
also thought you should remember the one time I was in the RPF."
Erika looked at Alicia. "Growing up, I saw many among my friends
and teachers sent to the program when church leaders were
displeased with them. Some people left Scientology rather than
go into the RPF as directed. I tried it voluntarily when I was
ten, wanting to see what the fuss was about. The RPF turned out
to be a religious gulag exactly like people had said. I got out
as soon as I could."
"Erika, the RPF worked for me," said Dane. "You
didn't need to go there. I did. I got everything I hoped for
from the program. I exited after nine weeks fully clear. You
know I contacted you and our parents many times during that. I
still lived with Ira too until we broke up, I just didn't mention
him to you. My problems were fixed. Except for this past week
with my new auditor, I haven't misbehaved once since July."
"Didn't you meet any bullies in there?"
"Of course, but I learned how to handle them. You
did too, if I remember right."
"I did, Dane," Erika affirmed. "Still, I didn't like
having to deal with them. You remember that rhyme I had about
the main three bullies I got to know?"
"Boggis and Bunce and Bean," Dane quoted. "One fat,
one short, one lean. Horrible crooks, different in looks, but
nonetheless equally mean."
Alicia stared at Erika. "You made up jokes about
bullies?"
"I got that one from a Roald Dahl book. It had their
names and everything. There were other taunts I made up myself.
I was ten, Lish. They were teasing me. I had to cope."
"Sure. You know, people say the same things when
they equate followers of your religion with 'Cylons', the robots
from that Sci-Fi channel show 'Battlestar Galactica' who
impersonate Earthlings and work to destroy them."
Erika scowled at the dehumanizing label. "I know I
shouldn't have done what I did. I couldn't help it, though.
These guys deserved it too."
"People who are bigoted about Scientology also say
that."
Erika's frown deepened. "We're getting off the
subject. Dane, tell me about this woman who's been auditing you.
What's her name?"
"Jessica Rodriguez."
Erika felt her heart catch in recognition. "Jessica
<I>Feshbach</I> Rodriguez?" Alicia stifled a gasp.
"Do you know her?"
"We both do," Alicia said, "by reputation at least.
It's all over the web that the Feshbachs are the 'Goblins of
Scientology', the deepest and most irritating fanatics. They've
been at least peripherally involved in most of your religion's
problems the past three decades. Erika, what did you tell me
about them?"
Erika picked up the thread. "You remember Joe
Feshbach from our Church Career Days, Dane? They called him 'the
kind of Scientologist we all want to be'."
"Yeah. You probably don't know him, Alicia. Joe
Feshbach's from the Tennessee hill country and was one of the
first people in his family to go to university. He joined
Scientology around the same time as Mom and Dad and used our
church's interpersonal influence techniques to make a killing on
Wall Street. He had his relatives help him, short-sold and used
other tactics that are legal but frowned upon."
"Correct," Erika said. "Then he donated most of his
money to the church along with a whole generation of his family's
offspring. Many of these grew into dedicated yet problematic
people. I met three Feshbachs when I was in the RPF."
"The bullies?" Alicia asked.
Erika nodded. "They wanted to be ministers and
spread Scientology like their Uncle Joe demanded. I encountered
them off and on growing up. As I told you, we were on the RPF
together. I didn't spend much time around them anywhere else. I
kept hearing about how their family was trouble. When we did
talk, they picked on me, I ragged back and I tried to keep from
feeling sorry. I still pity them.
"Bean, Bunce and Boggis graduated from our church
seminary, but they've never been very good at their jobs.
They've been inside the RPF more than anyone else in all my
religion's history and they're only a few years older than me.
They never learn anything from the program either. They continue
to act like they shouldn't and get sent back. It's pathetic."
"The whole family's pretty much the same," Dane
added. "Jessica's a Feshbach too? I didn't know that. I thought
she only liked bossing them about."
"Jessica is Joe Feshbach's oldest daughter. You
didn't ask for her maiden name? You didn't inquire into her
credentials at all?" Erika gaped. "You were taught better than
that, Dane!"
"I did ask for her history of past audits. Jessica
said she was the primary therapist for Tom Cruise and Jenna
Elfman. I was impressed."
"Did she tell you Tom, Jenna and other celebrities
fired her after she inspired them towards public relations
nightmares?"
"No. She just said she had helped them enough and
wanted to move on."
"You believed her spin doctoring, didn't you?" Erika
growled. "Dane, you remember that quarrel about psychology Tom
Cruise had on the 'Today Show' back in 2005? Alicia and I were
talking about it a few minutes ago. You recall how Tom was
bobbing on talk show hosts' couches back then, screaming that he
loved his fiancée Katie Holmes?"
"Yeah. I heard some woman was coaching Katie to copy
Tom."
"Jessica Feshbach Rodriguez advised Tom and Katie to
do all that."
"Oh, crap."
"You said it. Jessica made Tom more popular but she
also made him infamous. Tom fired her for that right after he
and Katie got married. I was delighted that he did. It's fine
to be in love with someone and hold your own opinions. However,
if you shove it down people's throats, they get upset. Tom's
still learning that today. Tom and Katie aren't Jessica's only
blunder. Somehow, she got charged with celebrity audits and
scripting evangelism right after she got ordained. She screwed
things up for Tom, Jenna and many others. They all had to
discharge her. Jenna's public statement about AIDS being a state
of mind came from Jessica's recommendations. Once the tabloids
and haters went ape-shit twisting those words, Jenna had to deny
she ever said them. Of course, that only made things worse and
Jenna fired Jessica. There have been other more minor cases
involving Jessica too."
"It sounds like you've met her."
"I haven't. I have heard of all she's done, though.
I keep my ear to the ground. You remember Mike Rinder?"
"Our teacher, the OSA director."
Alicia held up her hand. "OSA?"
"Office of Special Affairs," Erika said. "They
handle intelligence gathering for Scientology along with public
relations, legal and clerical matters, auditing ... you name it.
They're for us what the Jesuits are for the Catholics. Mike
Rinder was their leader and second only to the Chairman within
the church ranks. I've mentioned him to you."
Alicia scratched her head, frowning. "I've heard
about these people on the internet also. Your church's critics
call them 'Scientology's Inquisition'. OSA's first director was
incarcerated for committing fraud, racketeering and burglary on
behalf of her religion."
"That was Mary Sue Hubbard. She was our founder's
wife whom he divorced and exiled when she got convicted. OSA was
called the 'Guardian's Office' back then. I wasn't alive to see
it, but I heard about it in school. Because of Mary Sue's
offenses, the whole church department had to be torn down and
restructured under a new name. Mary Sue wasn't the only criminal
inside either. Mike became director of the new OSA in 1984 and
he swore to clean things up. Dane and I met him when he taught
us in church school. Most Scientology executives are snobs but
Mike wasn't like them. He grew up Scientologist in Australia and
watched our religion get outlawed and reinstated by the
government. Mike's suffered from discrimination his whole life.
He worked out a way to live Scientology without practicing the
abuses."
"I suppose he passed it on to you."
"Yes. He taught our parents first, and then my
brothers and me along with anyone else who was willing to learn.
Not everyone was, though. This included our Chairman, David
Miscavige. That rhymes with cabbage, the vegetable. Miscavige
didn't like what Mike was doing and kept pressuring him to be
less open-minded about Scientology. That's how I got Mike in my
reform movement. We already had one Friendship Viceroy helping
us and we needed another. I didn't know Mike was a Viceroy
before my parents told me to approach him in May of 2002. Mike
already knew about us and was ready to join. He was our
movement's biggest asset for six years."
"I remember. Then he resigned his job and left your
church in the summer of 2007. Why did that happen again?"
"I'll get to it. Let me deal with Jessica first."
Erika inhaled and then continued. "As you may have guessed,
Jessica's an OSA operative. When I did my reform movement's big
recruitment drive in 2002, I heard she knew our scripture well
and was also chastised repeatedly by the Chairman for nonspecific
things. I thought she would be an asset for us. Mike withdrew
her name from consideration when I asked him about her. He told
me Jessica was ready to blackmail me in the winter of 2001. You
know, when I had that argument with Tom Cruise and met you,
Alicia? Jessica heard about it from Tom and she had a private
investigator follow me around and take photos of me going in and
out of clubs with guys and girls. There wasn't anything
incriminating but if the tabloids saw the pictures --"
"They would have made up false stories and destroyed
your career," Alicia interrupted.
"Yeah," Erika said. "I'm a proud slut, but it's not
something I want exposed like that. I told Tom I didn't want to
market Scientology alongside him. Jessica hoped to compel a
different tune on me. Mike stepped in and stopped Jessica before
she could enact her plan. OSA clerics have to file reports prior
to taking action against specific Scientologists they believe are
harming the church. There are also certain things they're not
supposed to do. Blackmailing people is at the top of the list."
Alicia grimaced. "They do it anyway, though. I've
read the online documentation. They don't always get punished."
"Especially when they're related to someone such as
Joe Feshbach. I never knew about what Jessica did until Mike
filled me in. I asked why she did it and Mike said it was our
old policy called 'Fair Game'."
"I've heard of this," Alicia replied. "Isn't Fair
Game the scripture that says anyone who harms Scientology or a
specific Scientologist should be 'tricked, sued, lied to or
destroyed'?"
"That's it," Dane said. "Jessica showed me that
passage in Scientology texts and told me I needed to do as it
directed. She also said Fair Game extended to Scientologists who
refused to spread their religion or live in accordance with its
teachings. No one ever taught this stuff to me before but from
Jessica I believed it."
"Dane, you should not have done that," Erika informed
her brother. "Fair Game was cancelled in 1968, long before you
or I were born. Mary Sue Hubbard instituted it when she got
upset at ex-members who were discouraging people from joining the
church. Ron Hubbard revoked the policy when his wife took it too
far a mere three years after its institution. Ron criticized
Fair Game further in the 1970s and 1980s when fanatics refused to
stop following it. Many Scientologists ignored him and still use
the policy today as an excuse to harass people. Jessica's
attempted blackmail of me is just one example. All the incidents
are isolated and discouraged. Scientologists aren't supposed to
practice Fair Game. The church leaders don't support those who
do."
Alicia coughed. "I've seen conflicting reports on
the web about that."
"I only know what Mike told me," Erika said quickly.
"He knew Ron and Mary Sue, most of the internet critics never
did. Ron and Mary Sue are both dead now. I was never taught
about Fair Game in official church classes. Only the websites
against Scientology, fanatics, my parents and Mike educated me
about it. Some Scientologists practice the policy, but it's not
a prevalent conspiracy like our Internet bashers believe. Fair
Game with us is like the Catholics with their problem priests or
the Muslims with their terrorists. It's something that happens
even though the majority of our church would never support it and
gets excused way too often. That's one of the things my
movement's trying to reform. Whenever we see Fair Game, we
communicate about it amongst ourselves and report the perpetrator
up the chain. We also avoid it and work for the good of our
religion instead. Mike always told me that's what we were
supposed to do."
"Hmm," Alicia replied with a frown. "I see. You
believe in Mike Rinder's advice about Fair Game because you want
to maintain your own sanity, right?"
Erika sighed. "You guessed it."
"She has to do that, Alicia," said Dane. "Every
Scientologist does. We're taught that questioning official
scripture and church history leads to serious mental and physical
problems. If we leave Scientology, it's the same as suicide."
"It's not," Erika spoke when Alicia's jaw dropped.
"That's just what the fanatics say. I only agree somewhat. In
my judgment, leaving the church rather than trying to live as a
good person inside and reform it is a cop out. I've told people
inside my movement that. You remember what happened with Isaac
Hayes in 2005?"
"The 'South Park' voice actor," Alicia answered. "He
was a friend of yours, a mentor to your family like Mike Rinder.
Then he died earlier this year."
Erika nodded. "Isaac was always a sage to me. He
was also the one who got me into swinging. He and my parents
introduced me to the reformers. 'South Park' lampooned
Scientology and other religions all the time and Isaac was okay
with it. He knew of the criticism against Scientology when he
joined in 1990 and worked to counter it by inspiring
Scientologists to be better people. Isaac said shows like 'South
Park' had their place. One could laugh at them and become a
better Scientologist, Christian, or whatever. I agreed.
"Isaac was on 'South Park' for a decade. I enjoyed
watching the show until 2005, when the 'South Park' writers put
out an episode named 'Trapped in the Closet' that said all the
hateful rumors about Scientology were true. It was the same time
Tom was doing his talk show evangelizing. Someone in his camp
wanted to sue that episode's writers and producers."
"Jessica," Alicia speculated.
"Yes. Tom ended up not doing anything. He ignored
Jessica and concentrated on advertising his latest film. The
online bashers said otherwise, but I know from my own
investigation that Tom never lashed out at 'South Park' over what
happened. Isaac also defended the writers in interviews. As
before, he was okay with their satire. Then Isaac had his first
stroke and was forced to quit his show. Isaac's publicist put
out a statement that the reason Isaac quit was the way 'South
Park' portrayed Scientology in 'Trapped in the Closet', not his
health. This ruined Isaac's eminence in Hollywood and brought
him notoriety. Hating him was seen as the cool thing to do. All
of our religion's critics became 'South Park' fans and the
writers loved the publicity. Do you recall how they called Isaac
a hypocrite all over the internet?"
"I do. Your critics grew in number after that and
your church shrunk. Then the writers had Isaac's character
hypnotized and killed off in that appalling season opener called
'The Return of Chef'."
"Yeah. I still watch 'South Park' today but I'm not
amused by it as much as I used to be. Isaac was about to
disclose our reform movement to the public after 'The Return of
Chef', hoping to restore his image. Mike told Isaac revealing us
wasn't the best idea. It would do more harm than good. The
critics wouldn't believe we existed. I backed Mike on that.
You've seen the way people online treat us."
"Yes. They target Scientologists with discrimination
and consider you all the same as ignorant folk like Tom. Erika,
if they knew what you were doing ..."
"It would just make things worse, Alicia. We hide
ourselves for a reason."
"You know how I feel about you, Erika, but your
religion sickens me sometimes, especially when it threatens you
like this."
"I hate it myself. That's why I joined the reformers
when Isaac told me about them and why I believe so strongly in
our goals. We all dislike the way Scientology is. We want our
leaders to formally condemn those who commit crimes, not just
excuse them for the sake of our church staying intact. That's
why we work together to avoid behavior like Fair Game ourselves,
report those who do engage in such practices and concentrate on
good works. We also stay connected and ready to help each other.
We can't let our movement be revealed, though. That could mean
us all leaving the church, and that's failure. If the fanatics
as a whole learn of our existence, they will want us expelled and
put stress on the Chairman. I've seen it happen before with
people they don't like."
"Erika, whoa," Dane said. "Last I checked, we have
twenty-five celebrities in the movement. Or is it more now?"
"It's thirty-two, Dane, including every major
celebrity in Scientology except Tom Cruise and his wife, the
Elfmans and a few others. We're all liberals and we believe
Scientology is taking advantage of our popularity to sponsor its
abuses as well as its charities. We also hate how the critics
lump us in with the fanatics. Our goal is to stop putting up
with that and turn Scientology towards the road our church should
be on, the good road. We want to change things. We can't get
thrown out though."
"You won't. Don't you remember Jason Beghe? You
think Miscavige wants thirty-two potential Jason Beghes walking
around?"
"Time out!" Alicia said. "You have six or seven
actors named Jason in Scientology. Who's this one again?"
"The one who quit Scientology earlier this year,"
Erika answered. "TMZ calls him our 'celebrity whistleblower'.
He hasn't worked much in Hollywood since he left our church and
started defaming it along with the other critics. Before you
ask, as far as I know Scientology isn't creating his lack of
employment. It's more that no one trusts Beghe anymore, inside
or outside his former religion. That's what my non-Scientologist
agent tells me."
"Oh." Alicia nodded. "I know this man now. Dane,
Erika has a point."
"Getting out of Scientology is worth our careers,
Erika. Our church is messed up. I know it firsthand now. Wait
till you find out what Jessica made me do."
"I already have an idea, Dane," Erika replied. "She
got you to shun our family, didn't she? That's why you haven't
talked to me since you met her."
"Yeah. I've been erasing your messages as soon as I
heard your voice. You also know about those rumors I put out,
right? Jessica had me working Fair Game on Evan. I told some
TMZ reporters that she broke up with her boyfriend because she
was dating another man who was a violent psychopath. Have you
heard of Mickey Rourke?"
"Good actor," Erika said. "However, he enjoys being
offensive before the press and he has a drinking problem. TMZ
broadcasts his faults along with every other celebrity's. Any
reason for him in particular?"
"Evan did a movie with him and they're pals. Jessica
told me that Rourke called Tom Cruise names on television during
the 'South Park' event we discussed, backing up the gossip
against Scientology. She wanted him targeted specifically for
that. I also put out this other rumor that Ira was living with
Evan and her boyfriend. They had a rent dispute and You-Know-Who
kicked Ira out. It wasn't true, though. I made it all up."
"Oh my God, Dane," Erika said, recognizing the
report. "You're TMZ's inside source on Evan's split with
Manson?"
"Yes. Alicia, if you didn't know, Evan was living
with the Satanist shock-rocker Marilyn Manson."
"I do know. Were you calling him `You-Know-Who'
before?"
"I call Manson that because I don't like to say his
name. It gives him power. I guess I'll drop it. Jessica tried
to convert Manson to Scientology after I targeted Evan and Evan
rejected my advances. Jessica had me doing all those rumors and
she approached Manson and Evan but they warned her off. Then
Evan called me and told me she never wanted to see me again
unless I ditched Jessica. Evan had put together what was going
on. I fired Jessica this afternoon after I thought about what
Evan told me. I'm also quitting Scientology."
"Dane, you can't do that," Erika said. "Jessica was
acting on her own. She had to have been. What about all the
church has done for you? You were telling me how it got you to
overcome your problems."
"Right, then Jessica undid everything. I met her the
day I got out of the RPF, Erika -- October 27th. I was ready for
my final RPF audit and all my usual ministers were busy. I met
Jessica in a church garden while I was waiting for someone else.
She was commanding this black bird of prey. It was like a hawk
or an eagle but smaller and flew very fast."
"A peregrine falcon?" Alicia asked.
"That was it. Jessica had the bird under her power.
I was bedazzled. She instructed and it obeyed. I asked how she
was making the bird fly around and retrieve things and Jessica
told me she was projecting her will into her pet as Scientology
had taught her. I never saw anything like it before."
"Dane, that wasn't special abilities," Erika
insisted. "That side of Scientology is all metaphorical `unlock
your potential' stuff. Jessica had to have been fibbing. Right,
Alicia?"
Alicia nodded. "It sounds like she's a falconer.
Falconry, or hunting with trained falcons, is a sport that was
popular in medieval Europe. Today it's not practiced as much."
"I didn't know that till just now," said Dane.
"Seeing Jessica with the bird and hearing her voice put me under
her spell. You're right, Erika, she knows our scripture better
than anyone. She became my auditor. When I wasn't stocking
shelves at Safeway, I worked at the church with Jessica. I let
her guide my life and did everything she told me. Ira decided to
move out of our apartment and I let him when Jessica took his
side. I quit my grocery job on her advice too. Jessica wanted
me to work for Scientology exclusively and I complied. It wasn't
until after Evan yelled at me that I was able to break away from
her."
"Are you really free, Dane?" Erika inquired,
suspicious. "Please don't tell me she's there with you right
now."
"Of course not, Erika. I would never lie to you!"
"He isn't lying, is he, Alicia?"
Alicia frowned, applying her "Law & Order"
detective's instincts. "I don't think so."
Erika smiled, relieved. "Dane, why didn't you come
to me about this before?"
"I was scared of Jessica, Erika. She told me no one
in our family is a good Scientologist."
"Well, who is she to determine that?"
"I told her all about you, Erika -- the college you
were attending, your swinging, the Friendship, everything. I
told her about the rest of our family also. No auditor had ever
seen a problem in our family before but Jessica did. She laughed
for a long time when she heard about you studying psychology and
then said she wasn't surprised. Jessica told me to disconnect
from you. That's our term for shunning, Alicia -- disconnection.
I only changed my mind about Jessica's advice this morning."
Erika put a hand to her mouth. "Did you tell her I
graduated? About my new practice?"
"No. What practice?"
"I finished college two weeks ago, Dane. I got my
psychology certificate and bachelor's degree on Veterans' Day.
I've been seeing lots of clients, including celebrities. I keep
it confidential except from those I can trust."
"Oh. Congratulations. I must have deleted that
message."
"Good. Maybe I can still salvage this. I want
people to know about my degree and what I do, just not the wrong
people. What about our reform movement? Did you tell Jessica
about that?"
"Only a little. I didn't want to give her names. I
heard Jessica mock you and I got worried. I started trying to
lead her on, separate myself from her. Then this thing with Evan
happened. I followed Jessica's guidance. It seemed good in the
beginning, you know?"
"Right, Dane. Then it messed things up."
"Exactly. Those bullies you mentioned were part of
it too. They're Jessica's sidekicks. They follow her orders
almost as well as the falcon."
"You said they were after Manson and Evan?"
"Yes. Jessica wanted to create a situation where
they'd join Scientology with my help. It didn't work and Evan
got mad at me. When I fired Jessica this afternoon, I told her I
planned to exit the church. She said 'go ahead, the little whore
will still love you'. That's what she called you, Erika, 'little
whore'. I think she knows you even if you don't know her."
Erika shrugged. "I don't know how Jessica would know
me. I only really know about her through Mike, gossip and her
sister."
"Sister?"
"Melissa Feshbach Prynne, the Scientology reverend I
call 'Sweet Melissa' after the Allman Brothers song? I'm not the
only one who calls her that."
"Yeah, you've told me about Melissa being your
auditor. I haven't ever met her, though."
"I was introduced to her in 2003 and have worked with
her since. Mike saw I didn't have a regular auditor and
suggested Melissa. She's a war widow and an OSA agent like
Jessica. She's also very skilled at auditing, but she's caring
and clever. There are many people like her in Scientology if you
know where to look."
"You said she's Jessica's sister?"
"They're identical twins, same as you and Brando.
I've heard you can tell them apart by their opposing demeanors.
Melissa's positive and Jessica's negative."
"Like Brando's responsible and I'm me."
"Yeah, Dane," Erika said with a giggle. "You're the
evil twin."
"Stop that," Dane answered after laughing along.
"Being my big sister doesn't give you the right to tease me.
You're accurate, though. Jessica is evil. I had to get rid of
her once I saw that. Why don't you want me to quit Scientology?"
"Because, Dane, if you do, Jessica wins. That's what
she wants. I need you in my reformers. If you leave, you'll be
just like Beghe -- outside and cut off from us. You recall when
we watched that interview he did on why he left? Remember how he
was talking about the way Scientology fucked him up and destroyed
his identity? You know that isn't the case for everyone. It
wasn't for you, me, or several other people I could name. I
tried going to Beghe before he exited and telling him all this,
inviting him into our reformers. He laughed in my face and said
our cause was doomed, that he wouldn't even dignify it with a
mention to the outside. He was too angry and wrapped up in his
own mindset. Now Beghe's out there making people think his
experience is universal when it's not. Do you think I want that
happening with you?"
"Erika, I must do this."
"Dane, you can't. You'll also be the same as those
writers who agreed with the online bashers that Isaac was a
hypocrite if you do it. They forgot all the good will Isaac
showed them and named all Scientologists as bad. I reminded
Isaac of what our church does for human rights and that there
were some of us who lived without the bad stuff. That's why he
stayed inside even after what happened with 'South Park'. He
died in August of a second stroke, as you know, but even until
death, he never spoke out against Scientology. If you want to do
different, you can go ahead. I won't like it, though. Mom and
Dad won't either, even if we're not going to shun you."
"Erika, I'm really upset. I have to leave."
"No, you do not. Listen to me. I can smooth things
over. Melissa and Jessica have been competing for auditing cases
since they started their training. People would have trouble
telling them apart and send one's audit to the other. They had
to be separated. Since Jessica's foul-ups started happening,
Melissa's dedicated herself to undoing her sister's damage. Mike
is helping her and so am I."
"Melissa's a reformer?"
"Yes. She encourages people towards human rights
advocacy, disaster relief and the other good work Scientology
does. I'm among her celebrity audit cases and so are Jenna and
Kirstie Alley. Melissa has gotten over a hundred people into our
movement, Kirstie included. She's working on Jenna right now,
though it's taking time because Jenna has an ego and can only see
Scientology's good side. We haven't yet revealed our cause to
her but Melissa's ready when the time is right. I never really
wanted an auditor before Melissa. Now I know her and she's
really helped me. Do you recall the church I opened in Plant
City, Florida last year?"
"Was that where you got ticked off and declared to
the opening day crowds that all classes taken at the church
should be charged to your account?"
"That's the place," Erika confirmed, smiling as she
remembered the faces of her religion's moneychangers when she
defied them. "I don't know what got into me. I just got through
telling all these people they would find a great outlet for
family values in our faith and then the ministers lined up the
cash registers. I guess I freaked."
Dane snickered. "I heard you turned over desks and
whipped people."
"Not true. I didn't freak quite that much. Melissa
helped me get out of what I did. She told the Chairman I did not
have a psychotic episode and that my supporting Plant City could
be a great boon for Scientology. Some celebrities already
sponsor specific parishioners. I was going to do an entire
church."
"Wouldn't that put you in debt?" Alicia asked. "I
never knew about this, Erika."
"I'm not in debt. Plant City is just one church in a
small town and our religion is unpopular right now thanks to our
critics. Also, it only takes one person to start a trend. My
Scientologist friends have been helping me. We have to keep it
hidden, though, just like our reform movement. The Chairman
called me into his office a week after I spoke up in Plant City.
He told me he didn't want other celebrities to follow my lead and
parishioners to start expecting sponsorship and freeloading on
courses. Mike had already resigned over the scandal so I
wouldn't be punished and it was taking all Miscavige could do to
stop things from leaking to the press. If not for Mike and
Melissa's advocacy, I might have had to leave Scientology back
then."
"Where's Mike now?"
"He's outside our church and living alone in
Virginia. He still has influence, but his time as OSA director
is over. For the past fourteen months, Miscavige has controlled
OSA himself. I still support Plant City because the entire
church staff is reformist clergy. They know why I did what I did
and they agree with it. They're quietly reimbursing
Scientologists for their courses with my money. Miscavige is
disappointed with me but he's willing to let it slide. He said
he would let me continue my work in Plant City as long as no one
actively copied me elsewhere. No one has yet. They're all
afraid of the Chairman. I understand even though I wish they
weren't."
"Why don't you tell the Chairman about your reform
movement?"
"I can't. He may see it as a threat, even though
we're not bad Scientologists and we all want to stay inside.
You've probably heard the controversies on the web about
Miscavige. He was our founder's chosen successor and took over
Scientology in the early 1980s. Ron couldn't get Mary Sue to
officially resign her position but Miscavige did. Then Ron died
in 1986 and the Chairman was firmly in charge of Scientology. He
spread our church further around the world and got us tax
exemption in America but he also increased the protests. He's
tried to hold us together through almost thirty years of
contraction and expansion. There's a lot of weight on Miscavige.
It never stops."
"Didn't he expel some of his own family members from
Scientology when they weren't devout enough for him? I've seen
their critical website."
"They left on their own, Alicia. Miscavige was ready
to help them remain but they weren't interested. I've gotten to
know the Chairman from our brief meetings at church events and
asked him about his family. Miscavige told me he didn't like to
see them go. He's the same as Mike or Melissa at heart. He
wants to save our religion and see it continue. Miscavige has a
paranoid streak but he also has a good side. I think he's the
best person in charge for the present. I'm worried about him,
however. He's a practical person in an unstable situation.
Miscavige wants to keep the fanatics in check and Scientology
strong, even in our current climate. If my movement were in the
open, he might not be able to do that."
"Better him in power than someone like Jessica," Dane
agreed. "Erika, what am I going to do here? I've really screwed
up."
"It's not that bad. You haven't slept with Jessica
or anything like that, right?"
"I was hoping to for a while. Then she turned me off
when I saw her smacking around her minions. I did not want her
after that. I do owe her two hundred and forty dollars, though."
Goddamn Jessica for treating Dane like this! Erika
cursed to herself. There is no excuse! She rolled her eyes at
Alicia. Her girlfriend rolled her own eyes in accord and Erika
turned back to the phone.
"Okay, Dane," Erika said after a minute of thought,
"the family needs to have a sit-down with you. Melissa should be
there. She's an expert at helping people avoid having to leave
Scientology. As I told you, she assisted me. I'm one of many
she's aided. I haven't introduced you to her before because I
didn't think you needed her. Now I know otherwise. Dane, I have
been where you are right now a dozen times. Melissa has pulled
me back every one. She reminds me there are good people all over
Scientology, even in our clergy. She's the best one of us I can
name."
"Where is she? I know she's not in L.A. or Florida."
"Melissa's in St. Louis. She's an OSA deputy
director and supervises church operations in the entire
Midwestern United States. I communicate with her by phone,
e-mail and the occasional visit, just as I do other long distance
friends. Melissa's one of the few Feshbachs who's done well for
themselves and rightly so. Look, Dane, I'll call Mom and Dad,
then get dressed and come over there with them to see you.
They'll take you to visit Melissa and get you some help. I'll
come to St. Louis myself after this weekend when my schedule is
clear of other clients. No whining about this. I'm not letting
you just up and leave. If I have to be my brother's keeper, I
will."
"Okay, Erika, fine. I was wavering anyway. I'm
still departing Scientology if this goes sour, though."
"That's your right. I just want you to give this a
chance. It will all be fine. Stay calm. I'll talk to my fellow
reformers and make sure everyone knows what happened to you.
Jessica's a danger we've been ignoring. We need to be certain
she's not inclined to hurt you further. I'll also get a
complaint report sent to the Chairman. As far as he knows, our
family is still a great bunch of Scientologists and there's no
cause for you to disconnect from us like you have. Maybe Melissa
and I can catch Miscavige on a good day and get him to censor
Jessica again, seriously this time."
"I hope so. Erika, I'm really sorry. I need you to
do something else for me."
"Spill it."
"You have to talk to Evan. She's with the wrong guy.
Yeah, they broke up, but what if they get back together? Evan
can't get hurt anymore. She's not involved with anyone like
Jessica, but she's still in danger. You-Know-Who is a maniac.
Can you pull her out?"
Erika exhaled her frustration. "I don't know, Dane.
You pretty much ruined things for me before I could even step in.
What if Evan thinks I'm another Jessica stooge?"
"Damn it, I didn't think of that! I was just trying
to get back at Evan for hurting me. It was what Jessica told me
to do."
"Now she's gone. Are you going to do it still?"
"No, Erika, but what if Evan hates us? We can't let
that happen."
"I'll work on it," Erika assured her brother. An
idea came to her. "I can't help Evan myself immediately, but I
know someone who could." Thank goodness Doug doesn't mind me
disturbing him at all hours, she thought. "Look, you stay home
till Mom and Dad get there. I'll be just behind them with
Alicia, Nick and Brando. Don't open the door for anyone but us."
"I won't. Thank you, Erika."
"You're welcome. Be careful, Dane. I love you."
Erika terminated the connection and exhaled, looking at Alicia.
There would be no dildo session for them now, not for a while at
least. "Dane's okay, but we need to finally get off our butts
and help him and Evan."
"So I gathered," Alicia said. "Who are we gonna
call?"
Erika's response was one word. "Frost-Fire."
Grinning at the other naked woman sitting beside her, she began
dialing her phone.
<b>To Be Continued...</b>
***