SWALLOWED AND LOVED By Zachyboy M/b, oral, penetration When I just turned 14-years-old, a guy I knew from community theater, David, who was 45 at the time, sucked me off in his living room and swallowed my cum load. More like worshipped my cum load. Rejoiced in my cum load. Looking back on it, it was so hot for me at 14 (after a long lead-up with him) to give a 45-year-old man that much pleasure just by letting him suck me. He'd wanted to get into my pants for 3 years since I first met him when I was 11, and finally, after a reunion three years later, a few visits to his house, a little porn on his living room TV, and a VERY hot evening when I inadvertently watch him such off his own son...what started out as "hey, let's just whip our dicks out and jack off under these blankets, just two guys, no big deal, we won't look at each other," quickly turned into him down on his knees just worshipping and servicing my dick like it had never been serviced before or since. I have to tell you, even now, that was the Holy Grail of blowjobs. He was good. Beyond good. I was 14. Just turned 14 that week in fact. I was a small boy, thin, and I probably looked younger. I was cute, had braces, clear skin, maybe had a five-inch dick on me at that age. Not too big, but it certainly worked fine for me. It was not too thick, kind of slender actually, but always hard. Balls full of sweet cum, not thick, but watery, clear and delicious (I'd tasted it myself and loved it), and even though it was thin, I could shoot it like a rocket. Big healthy loads by that age, and I liked to shoot it whenever and wherever opportunity let me. And I could keep making more all day. I was a little 14-year-old cum factory back then. Anyway, when David blew me at 14, I was so used to having oral sex with neighbor kids and my cousins, the act itself was no big deal. All of us kids who messed around with each other usually shot in each other's mouths, but we always spit it out (even if we liked the taste, which I did), because, believe it or not, if this makes any sense at all, being caught swallowing any other boy's jizz would have been considered "too gay," and none of us would dare want that (crazy as that sounds) even though we were deep-throating each other's little teen and pre-teen fuck sticks every chance we got. I mean, here we were at 11, 12, 13, 14, sucking dick, fucking asses, or if that was too uncomfortable, fucking each other between the legs depending on size and/or receptive-ability of the different boys involved. No one wanted to hurt anybody else. We just wanted to have fun with each other, so we were definitely shooting jizz loads all over each other's hands, bodies, faces and certainly inside each other's mouths, but crazily, we always spit it out, never swallowed. Or if I did swallow, which I secretly did once in a while, I'd just make sure I spit out an equal amount of saliva, pretending it was the jizz, so I wouldn't get caught doing something so gay(!!!) as you know, liking it too much. I loved when my younger friends finally started cumming because I loved to tastle that hot boy jizz swirling around in my mouth from the very beginning, but yeah, sadly, in a type of logic that only makes sense to a bunch of dumb horny boys, as long as nobody swallowed anybody else's cum load (or made too big a show of it if they secretly did), nobody was really classified as gay. We could all spit it out and go "Ewww, that's gross, you really creamed me that time, ha-ha," and then just laugh it off, and go back to being harmlessly dumb and grab-assy with each other and act all fake-offended and shocked and stupid as we drooled a wad of watery cum out of our mouths. I'm turned on to this day of the memory of my friends turning their heads away after they blew me to let my cum slowly drool out of their mouths. That was hot to us too, slowly letting it drool out after we were done. We instinctively understood that "visual" was part of the eroticism of the act, and we were careful not to spit it out too fast. It was very sensual to watch it slowly drool back out of a kid's mouth after the blowjob was over. But, after that, it was instantly back to "non-gay" fun and games. The other kid could just go, "Oops! I accidentally jizzed in your mouth again, sorry!" (even though we all completely, secretly LOVED it), and to us, we were all just being horny idiots and having "harmless fun" or "just experimenting" or just "practicing for girls" or any of the other half dozen euphemisms we gave it to pretend we were all still 100% straight. And somehow that lack of seriousness or emotional content kept it officially "safe," because in in the little country town we all grew up in (population 6,500, where everybody knew everybody) believe me, you did not want to have the reputation of being the town gay kids. You would have gotten fucking murdered. So when David, the 45-year-old community theater guy, blew me and ate my load when I was 14, it was the first gay-experience I had that was highly emotionally-charged, and it was the first time a guy ever actually clearly wanted to swallow my cum as a NEED, as part of the necessary and desired completion of the act. To need it and to eat it, as the very GOAL. It was super-hot because (1) he was an adult, and (2) he was just so unbelievably good at it. He was so incredibly good to me, it almost overwhelmed me. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I had no reference point for the intensity of it; the full grown-up male seriousness of it. I'd never had any kind of real sexual experience with a man before just other kids, where we defined it as "just innocent messing around" so this was probably a defining moment of my life. In retrospect, it probably was the event that finally confirmed to myself that I was really gay. I loved it so much, and it was probably the first time I realized to myself, okay, this is a definite line I've just crossed. I am definitely not "experimenting with a boy because I'm practicing for a girl." I'm getting my dick sucked by a man, and he is swallowing the cum I'm making for him, and I like it. Period. The End. I just got my dick deep-throated and my cum swallowed by a 45-year-old man and I fucking loved it. No room for doubt any more. I'm gay. End of debate. And God, that was the deepest, slowest, longest, most erotic, suction-perfect, most luxurious blowjob I have ever gotten to date. I challenge the highest-priced call girl working in Manhattan to give head like that guy sucked my dick. It was magnificent. Skill beyond words. It was like watching ballet. Like art, like a dance. And it felt SO good. Jesus, he was incredible. If they gave Nobel Prizes for oral pleasuring, David would have won a whole shelf of them that day. God, he was good. I'd had my dicked sucked by kids up to that point, but that means I was being fellated by basically-horny, silly enthusiastic amateurs. And then suddenly I woke up at 14 one day and I won the blowjob lottery. Fuck man, he was good. I would put that one in my time machine wish list for a do-over anytime. I'd give up a year's pay to go back in time and get that blowjob again. Simply the best of the best. That blowjob from David came after a long lead-up. We'd known each other since I was 11, and like I said, he was pretty much a confirmed pedophile. Other friends, adults, used to sort of subtly warn me, "don't get too close to David," "he's a little odd," and stuff like that, but naively, I had no idea what they were talking about. Honestly, I just thought he was a nice, attentive guy. I met him at 11-years-old when I played John Darling in a community theater production of "Peter Pan" and he played Captain Hook. Yeah, I know. Take that casting combination wherever your leering minds need to go, theatre lovers. Even I have to admit, it's almost too funny to be real, but what can I say, I didn't pick the play. I just showed up and got the part. That's Neverland for you. Anyway, he totally hit on me during that play, but I was too naive to understand that's what was going on. I mean, I was 11, and already HUGELY sexually active with other boys at that point, but the thought of grown MEN wanting to have sex with boys honestly had never even crossed my mind at that age as a POSSIBILITY. It was just a complete blank area to me, it hadn't even been conceived-of in my mind. If you would have told me guys liked to do it with boys, I would have stared at you blankly. I may have believed you, but it would have been in the same realm as magic trick to me. What do you mean you can levitate someone and pass a hoop around their body? Nah! Get out of town! So even though it FELT like David was flirting with me at 11, I was just so completely clueless and UN-confident around men - my own dad was such an absent prick, I just had no reference point with which to judge normal or abnormal male attention. So when David was hitting on me at 11, I wouldn't have known genuine man/boy sexual interest if it came up like a dog and started sniffing at my butthole, which in this case, I guess it was trying to do. I was just too utterly clueless to recognize it for what it was...a 42-year-old man hitting on an 11-year-old boy and trying to gauge his interest, which must have seemed sadly low to him because of my total naivetι. God, if I knew then what I know now, I would have given myself over to him willingly and instantly. But I just didn't understand his advances as advances. So at 11, during the run of that play when he did weird untypical-for-an adult things in front of me like swearing and using the f-word a lot and ("wink-wink, our little secret, you can say it, too"), I didn't give it a second thought. I just thought he was cool. He gave me secret permission to swear in front of him, or he'd sneak me sips of his vodka and 7-up at cast parties, or he'd speak to me in such an adult way, and always rub my shoulders and massage my back and touch me or rub past me any chance he got, I remember it being vaguely "different" and definitely sometimes a little tingly or sexy or even a little over-the-line in some way I couldn't quite articulate, but I still didn't totally understand it as a sexual advance. I knew he was paying way more attention to me than he was to the other Lost Boys, but I never really fully understood why. I just liked his attention and I was glad that I was the one that seemed extra special to him. He'd always stand really close to me when he talked to me, and he'd sort of box me in and trap me against walls with his arms, just casually, but definitely very purposefully and intently. I liked feeling. That intimacy of him boxing me in away from everybody else in the world. Like he was trying to create a private little corner of space that was just for us in any room we were in. And I never felt uncomfortable or threatened by it. I just liked it. It felt fatherly to me, and I was a boy who just barely understood what "fatherly" was supposed to feel like. And I know all the books will tell you guys like David always "zero in on" the the fatherless boys because they're so easy to approach and so desperate for love and affection, and I'm sure I'd be just another textbook case in that regard, but you know what? I don't care. I just know he made me feel loved and special, not creeped-out, just good about myself. And at times he had me "trapped" in a corner talking to me so quietly and kindly, boxed-in and private, it didn't feel uncomfortable, it just made me wish all the other grown-ups and Lost Boys in the room would just go away so it could just be me and David, the two of us, alone. He was funny and loving, but definitely pervy, too. He would cut out dirty pictures of naked women out of porn mags and tape them to the inside of the big black top hat that was part of my costume. Unexpectedly during rehearsals, I'd look in my hat, and there would be a new dirty picture of some woman's pussy, or something that was equal parts fascinating and gross to a little gay boy. And you know, you get a cast of a dozen boys together during play rehearsals, all acting dumb and stupid and "typically boy," and I'm sure he had plenty of plausible deniability for putting dirty pictures in my hat if caught, he could just say one of the other kids must have done it but I never told anybody not even the other kids because I knew David was doing it, and it was just a private, funny secret between us. He'd see me notice a new one when I'd take off my hat in the middle of Act 2, and (gulp!) as I made wide eyes in spite of myself, he'd just smile and wave from off stage like, "oops, did I do that?" It was kind of funny and definitely hot at the same time. But again, clueless, I just thought he was being dumb and funny and had no idea he was hitting on me. So, when he did all this stuff when I was 11, it's amazing to me to look back on it today and know that all that time, all that dirty talk, all the secret little sips of vodka and porn mag pics backrubs and touches, all that going on and building so innocently and so smoothly and so casually, he was really hoping to groom me for more, but I just missed every damn clue! Such a waste of opportunity! If that play had gone on longer, even one more month, I'm sure he would have made his way into my pants. I was COMPLETELY active and eager with boys already. I just hadn't done the math in my head and figured out that MEN liked boys too. But as it was, there were way too many lines to memorize to notice that stuff, then the play ended, and I just went back to being 11, and he drifted out of my life for a few years. So later when I was 14 and auditioned for a different play that he was directing this time (I played Theo, the boy with the duck in "Pippin," and he was the director) he must have been on full Blues Brothers "we're on a mission from God" mode to get into my pants this time. I was the kid he'd lusted after big time three years ago, and now here I was, a little more grown-up and savvy no doubt, and life was giving him an amazing, rare second chance at me. And keep in mind, by this time I was old enough to get the vibe from him, and this time I definitely wanted him to know it, so I started hinting I needed help with the play, and purposely messing up scenes, and he started inviting me over to his house on weekends to "work on lines," which we did a little, but it was a completely ridiculous front anyway, because my character barely had any lines to begin with. So, mostly we just started hanging out like friends and watching movies (non-porn, but always heavily boy-casted, boy-oriented movies) and he always let me drink vodka and 7-up with him at his house. Never huge amounts, just one small one. Very occasionally, two. He'd never send me home drunk (my mom thought I was hanging out with other boys, when really I was sneaking over to his house). But really, he was just fun to hang out with and it was so cool to have an adult friend at 14 who let me secretly drink and smoke with him and just hang out at his house privately, like our own private clubhouse. And I liked him so much. He was just so good and kind to me. There was nothing about it that felt like coercion or being tricked, ever. David had an 11 or 12-year-old son at the time, who he did not have custody of, his ex-wife did, but the kid would sometimes be over there with us when David had visitation weekends, and David would always be clearly excited when I was over there and his son was over there too you could almost see the visual difference in his energy level and his nervous, talkative streak when we were both over there at the same time. It must have sent him into some kind of neural overload, because when we were both over there, the difference in his nervous talk and laughter was obvious, even to me at 14. Joshua was the kid's name, but we just called him Joshy. And every once in a while David would drop in some little pervy comment about Joshy, right in front of him, like how he saw Joshy pee one day and that kid was hung like a horse or how he saw Joshy get out of the shower one night and his dick was hard and he could believe how huge it was and all sorts of stuff a dad does usually not say about a son, certainly not right in front of him to another person. And Joshy was just a good, shy, quiet kid, never reacted to it other than a sheepish grin, never said much at all, but you could tell by the secret looks he shared with his dad all the time, a lot was being left unsaid. They definitely had an energy together I didn't totally understand until I saw what was really going on. Before David gave me that incredible blowjob, about a week before, the three of us me, David and Joshy had a little vodka and 7-up together. And that time I probably did have a little too much, and I sort of dozed off after I had a little too much, and the sun was going down and it was dark in the living room by the time I woke up, just the TV light shining in the room, and a light coming from the end of the dark hallway. But both of them were gone from the living room. So, puzzled, I walked into the dark hallway to see where they went, and down the hall, in the light of the open doorway of his bedroom I could see David down on the floor on his knees, kneeling into Joshy, who was standing, leaning up against the door frame, and David's head was at Joshy's crotch level and he was sucking is 11-year-old son of his for all he was worth. And the kid did indeed have a nice-sized cock, although he was still completely hairless. God, it was hot, watching him suck his own kid. It's a memory that has stayed with me, vividly to this day, and has fueled a LOT of my fantasies. The kid was sliding back and forth into David's mouth, very slowly. His hands were on the back of his dad's head, guiding his cock in and out. And David's cock was out too, and he was clearly hard, and clearly turned-on. His dick wasn't, only about 6-inches, but it was beautiful, cut, and hard as a rock with a beautiful mushroom head, perfectly formed, and he was stroking it slowly as he sucked his son. And they were both moaning a little, clearly enjoying it. Clearly well-practiced at what they were doing. I just knew from watching them this hadn't been their first time and I suddenly understood all the strange comments and private looks between them. And the kid tensed up and bucked a little, and again, David made that grateful moaning sound, and I could tell from a distance the kid was getting his nut in David's mouth. Believe me, I'd seen (and helped) enough kids his age have an orgasm, I could certainly tell by the jerking of the body, the clenching of the little butt cheeks (and this kid's were drop-dead gorgeous, by the way), and the little gasp of the breath and the eyes squeezing tightly shut, that this kid was losing whatever watery little drops he might have, or having a massive dry cum, either way, in his dad's mouth. And it was HOT. He shuddered for quite some time. Actually shook. His arms were shaking and he had to put them on David's shoulders to steady himself. It was a good cum for the kid, clearly. And the sexiness of it, or whatever he might have shot in David's mouth, brought David over the edge, and he started shooting his own gobs of cum out of his cock. Even from a distance I could see it coming out of David's cock it didn't really shoot up in the air, it just bubbled up and drooled out of his dick like a fountain. There was a lot of it. A LOT. And it was really thick and white, a lot thicker than mine was at 14. And watching it, my own dick was really hard. I probably shifted it in my pants because it was straining to get out. It was the first time I had watched an adult male cum, and it was very, very erotic. A lot of times when I jack off, even to this day, I'll imagine David down at his knees with Joshy grabbing onto the back of his head, pulling his face in tight while he cums in his dad's mouth, while David's bubbling cum gushed out of his penis onto his hand and his dick and the carpet below. I even tried to look for that cum spot the next time I visited his house. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and I actually got down on my knees, looking for his dried cum in the doorway, but I never saw it. He must have cleaned it up. I got hard just looking for it. Weird. So, after David shot and the Joshy had his cum, neither one of them made any indication of seeing me watching them, so I just went back and sat down with a hard-on and a fast-pounding heart and watched TV. Joshy was probably exhausted from his dad doing it, or just "post-cum private" afterwards. (There's sometimes this brief, almost-embarrassed moment after a boy cums where he's just silent and private and withdrawn sometimes, where he doesn't really want to talk to anybody, he just needs to be alone and quiet inside his own head for a little while), but whatever it was, after they finished, Joshy just stayed in his dad's bedroom and went to sleep. David came out and talked to me like nothing was up - - "Just put Davey to bed, he was tired," just really casually, and I'm thinking, "yeah, you put him to bed at what, 7 at night? Yeah, you put him to bed because he had his little bone down your throat, and now he's all wiped out." David reached for his vodka and 7-up and I swear I could still see a little cum or spit or lube or something on his hand. It was shiny. Glossy, whatever it was. And God, I was so hot looking at it, I thought my dick was going to explode. I'm sitting there watching the cum dry on his hands, just desperately wanting to grab his hand and smell it, or lick it, or do something. I wanted to know what his cock smelled like, I think. I wanted to smell the scent of his cock off his own hand. But not knowing what else to say or let him know I saw him with his hands around his little boy's ass, gripping on, letting the kid face-fuck him, I just didn't say anything, although in honesty, if I'd have been a braver kid at 14, I would have been jumping up and down shouting, "Me next! Me next!" I was wound up and ready to blow, but sadly, the evening ended shortly after that, and since it was already dark and I was late, I had to get on my bike and go home. In retrospect, he probably DID want me to say something. In retrospect, he probably did it there the doorway with the light turned on because he wanted me to see. He wanted me to join in. And to this day, I wish I had. A threesome in that big old bed with his own son and an older boy? I bet he wanted that very, very much. It never became a threesome, but that wasn't the end of that house or that bedroom by a long shot. David still had plenty to teach me in that bedroom, believe me. It was all very taboo and all very hot, the David and Joshy chapter, which brings me, fast-forward to a week later, where this story started, with me watching porn on his TV, with David at my knees, FINALLY sucking MY cock. Something I'd been dreaming about and jacking off to every night for a week since I saw him sucking his own son. And like I said, when David finally blew me (or rather, when I finally got up the nerve to let him), it was a heavenly blowjob. The very definition of perfect. The suction of his mouth was incredibly tight. It wasn't one of those lame blowjobs where some guy is half sucking you, half stroking you to get the job done. No way, man. This one was all mouth, tightly sealed, and just built from start to finish with such painfully exquisite momentum and rhythm, it was like it was choreographed and rehearsed. He was just simply masterful, bobbing slowly up and down on my slender shaft, then faster, hands under my ass, kneading my globes, his middle finger just lightly brushing across my pucker with each in-thrust. Not even trying to finger my ass or stick his finger all the way in maybe he thought that would scare me too much although honestly, it wouldn't have. I'd had boys in my ass before at that point. But he didn't' know that. So, he was just kneading me, massaging me, making me feel good, and with each stroke, just lightly sliding his fuck finger across the very tip of my sticky, sweaty boy hole, making me tingle all over, making my buck my hips forward and jerk into his mouth involuntarily right before I fired. "I'm gonna shoot, I'm gonna shoot!" I remember trying to warn him, almost trying to push his head off me out of politeness, assuming he'd want to prepare to spit or pull away from my dick like some of my newer boy-sex friends did (it was just polite to give fair-warning when you were with somebody new, mouth-removal or not, until you knew if the guy liked it or not). But David just moaned and went "mmmphgg, mmmm!" with his mouth locked around my stiff little five-inche bone even harder and he just pushed my hands away like "kid, don't even try to waste this load, it is all mine!" And he latched onto my cock just like a fucking leach and grabbed my bare ass cheeks and squeezed them tight and pulled me deep into his mouth, and man, I just blasted! I just unloaded down his fucking gullet so hard I saw stars! It was exquisite. His whole mouth, cheeks, tongue, everything was so wet and warm and velvety smooth, I have never cum in anything so perfectly, erotically made to take a load of sperm like that sweet mouth of his before or since. He was the Rembrandt of cum depositories. And it was so hot, because he just kept mumbling, "mmmphgg, mmmm, mmmggh," making these joyous, erotic, hungry swallowing sounds, just moaning in gratitude the whole time I was cumming, eating it, rejoicing in it. He never stopped those grateful gobbling noises it as he swallowed it. He fucking ate it like he couldn't get enough. He'd wanted that cock of mine since I was 11-years-old, and here I was three years later with my dick down his throat, and he was finally getting it. Whatever it was, I can tell you, he just worshipped my cock that day. Just made sweet, slow love to it with every inch of his mouth and lips and tongue. Every molecule of his body was into that blowjob, and when I came in his mouth, he was like a starving man, eating his last meal. He was so hungry for it. So grateful. In retrospect I'm so, so glad I was the one who fed it to him, I feel so good that it was me he wanted to give all that hunger to. And after it was done, he didn't even ask me for reciprocation, and believe me, I would have done his dick in a minute. I was starving for him right now, too. Shaking for him. But it was almost like he respected me too much to even ask, and he didn't want to make me uncomfortable misjudging my experience, and I was too inarticulate to say, "please, I want to suck you, too," (and plus, I'd seen how much came out when he was sucking Joshy, and I was honestly a little scared of the amount). So, instead, he just kneeled up in front of me stroking his own cock over my dick and balls and saying over and over, "what did it feel like, what did it feel like?" and all I could gasp out was "good, it felt good, David." I must have sounded ridiculous, like a broken record, just saying "good, it felt good," but apparently that was all he needed to send him over the top, because he grunted and moaned and his eyes went back in his head, and his cum, again, just bubbled out like lava, all over my dick and balls. He just aimed his hot dick load at my crotch and fired. And it was massive. It was awesome. "Oh Zachy, oh Zachy," he was panting, as his thick load just came bubbling out of his beautiful dick all over my dick and balls. His cum was so hot, it was actually fever-hot as it shot out and coated me, especially on ball sack. It started to drip down into my ass crack there was so much of it, and instinctively, I just reached down with my hand and I fingered it and pushed it inside myself, which made him groan even more. I don't know why I did it. Just instinct. It felt so good dripping there. When I heard him moan, I did it again. Scooped up more on my finger, pushed it inside my asshole. Deep this time. As far deep as I could stick my finger from the angle I was at. I just watched him, never losing eye contact, as I scooped his cum off my dick and balls and pushed it deep inside my ass. "You're so fucking beautiful," he whispered, and then he went down on me again, licking whatever was left off my dick and balls, finishing with long, leisurely laps, right up my shaft, replacing my finger with his, and this time he did finger me a little and it was incredible. It was such an amazing finish. To this day I love it when a guy jacks off on my dick and shoots his load all over my dick and balls so I can finger it into myself the way I did it that first time with David. That was such an intensely sexy memory. Later that night when I jacked off alone at home, I fingered my own ass again, dreaming I could still feel his cum inside me and his finger inside me. His cum was stronger than mine. More masculine-tasting. Like almonds. And it was so hot. I would find out all of this two weeks down the road when David became the man who would finally take my cherry, right in that very same bedroom I watched him blow his son in. It would take us a while to get there the blowjob he gave me came first then two others but then, two weeks later on a secret sleepover, he finally got what he'd been after since I was 11-years-old. My ass. And I gave it willingly. And he took it gently the first time, and then passionately the next. And it was a beautiful, life-changing experience that shaped my life. Like going from black-and-white to color. Like walking all your life, and then suddenly learning to fly. But that, my friends, is a story for a later time, because I'm incredibly hard remembering all of this, and I'll need time and thought to do it justice (not to mention a little break to jack off). But that's my first blowjob, at 14, from a man named David, and the lead-in to the incredible experience that followed. I'm not even going to make this a chapter story, so please don't ask when chapter two will be up. I just want this to remain as an incredible stand-alone moment, sacred and special, like it was to me that day. I WILL tell you about our first anal sex together, but it'll be a separate story and a separate standalone title. I know that'll make it harder for you to find it later, but I'm sorry. That's just the way I need to do it. These memories are just too special to me to turn them into "chapter one" and "chapter two." They'll have to stand on their own and come in their own time. That's the only way I know how to share them. I don't even know where David lives now or what he's doing, but I'd sure like to find him some day and thank him in retrospect for all he did to shape the erotic direction of my life. If he ever turns up in my life again unexpectedly, even though we're older now, I can't even begin to express how much I'd like to be with him again. Lovingly, sexually. David, if you're out there, you know I would gladly be yours again at any time, for services rendered, gentle lessons taught, sweet nostalgia and old time's sake.Thanks for being such an amazing part of my history, David. You were the best of the best. # # # # # # # # # # Love, Zachyboy z.blake@mail.com