Review 021 - The Strange Case of the Missing Madonna [Yotna
El'toub]
	       (MF,FF,MM(suggested),MC,NC,magic. Caution: blasphemous)

Esu gets revenge on the Yot!


Storyline

<Brief outline only>

This is the 2nd story in the Holmes & Hove series. The author
has warned of blasphemous content as well as the usual sexual
activities.


Authors own summary:

----------------------------------------------------------------

***Summary***

Ned and Brighton are asked to recover a stolen icon for the
church. The icon has remained hidden for centuries due to its
contentious content. Shadowy organisations are moving towards a
future that threatens the very fabric of society.

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Merits

<What was worthy of comment>

The author sets the scene and describes it well. You can almost
see it come to life.

For example:

<The long room echoed the shuffling steps in muted tones. Soon
the hushed group was fully assembled. They stood erectly with
their flowing robes stilled in the silent air. One stepped
forward from the ranks, confidently he made his way to the rear
of a mock-altar. Once there, he reached up and grasped an unseen
cord. An intake of hallowed breath sounded around the room as
dark eyes gazed upon their prize, drinking in the depravity
depicted.>

The style of writing also identifies with the Victoriana era in
which the story is set.

Demerits

<What detracted from the story>

Now this is difficult as I have read the story many times. I
could mention the spelling mistakes and punctuation but I
realise that I am looking at the finished version. 

Sometimes the story seems to be slightly muddled. I'm not sure
if this is deliberate though. The author likes to keep the
mystery for the reader as well.

Atmosphere <How well evolved was the environment>
Marks out of  20

<17>

As I mentioned earlier, Yotna is good at setting the scene. You
can almost picture it happening. His descriptions take all
senses into account e.g. sight and sound. 



Workflow

<How well did the story progress and develop>
Marks out of  20

<18>

It managed to flow surprisingly well. I say surprisingly
because I actually wanted to find out about the illuminati's
plan and how the story was going to fit together.

Eroticism

<Just how erotic a read is this (erotic, not sexy!)>
Marks out of  20

<10>

Now this is the difficult part. What sort of story do I find
erotic? Not many I must admit. Obviously in this story, the sex
played a major part but erotic? No way!

Mechanics

<The boring bit, grammar, typo's etc.>
Marks out of 20

<18>

Now this could be considered to be part of my effort as I proof
for Yotna but when does he take notice of what I say? He still
likes his comma's a lot more than his full stops.

Impression

<What did I feel having read the story, did I want to read
more?>

<17>

Marks out of 20

I'm afraid that Yotna and I like totally different things. I'm
not into the stories that he writes about and he probably feels
the same way about mine. I can't deny that this one's good
though. The on-going mystery did make me want to read the next
part and the style it was written in gave me a giggle at times.

Total score

80 Yotties out of 100.



Readability guide          00-19 must try harder.
                           20-39 needs development
                           40-59 readable
                           60-79 good read
                           80-99 should read
                           100 reserved for my stories :-)