Review 010 The House at the End of the Street by A Strange Geek Storyline <Brief outline only> ASG's Summary: 4 teens find a mysterious house that can grant them great power. Will they lose themselves in sexual revelry, or will they turn from the darkness in time? Or does the house itself have an agenda ... Merits <What was worthy of comment> I am a self-confessed fan of ASG so I will rail this bit in a bit :-) The characterisation in this story is first class, and either extremely well observed (or well remembered) teenaged angst. Each of the persona's introduced fleshes out wonderfully. The feeling of awe and wonder at the discovery of sexuality is finely portrayed, and for me divorces any concern over the ages of the protagonists. Partly this is a 'rites of passage' story, but it is much more. The house provides a very real entity, and functions well as a cipher for the mind control that occurs within its walls. The story develops with good pace, and unfolds into the history/future of Haven in a very smooth transition. Demerits <What detracted from the story> Not much, but I did feel a balance problem. The story pivots around the ninth and tenth chapters. Prior to this fulcrum the story concentrates on the sexual adventures of our young friends as they visit and revisit the house. After the balance point the story of the house unfolds more, giving us an insight and finally an understanding of the events in the house. The problem that this gives us is that the beginning can become a little repetitive, and too sex laden (rarely but at times). The story when it is tolds unfolds nicely, but it could be more spread throughout the text, maybe with more asides and clues (for the reader, not the protagonists) earlier on. It occurred to me that some illumination of what was happening in the house between visits could have done this effectively and paced the action a little more easily. Atmosphere <How well evolved was the environment> Marks out of 20 <20> I really cannot fault this, superbly detailed and described in a very comfortable style. Workflow <How well did the story progress and develop> Marks out of 20 <15> Here are where my concerns crop up, as written the lead in is a little protracted. For a long time (almost half the story) the reader is kept at arms length. Some could get frustrated by this (not sexually but intellectually). The ending is very well conceived. Eroticism <Just how erotic a read is this (erotic, not sexy!)> Marks out of 20 <17> Well yes, it is both a sexual and an erotic read, an unusual combination to pull off (pun intended). Damn good sex, with fine 'substance' to it. Mechanics <The boring bit, grammar, typo's etc.> Marks out of 20 <17> Really this is very impressive. I think ASG self edits - that is a *very* difficult task. There are a couple of things that have slipped through the first one an unintentionally amusing image. <Melinda was quite happy to awaken and find her sister's bed already absent, enabling her to go about her morning ablutions without Heather whining about making too much noise.> Well absentee beds - whatever next? <It had to be her mother that wanted it, and now when she found she didn't like it as much as she thought, she was trying to blame Richie.> That is a bit muddled and unclear - very unusual for ASG. It does show the biggest problem in self editing - your own eye can read what you should have written rather than what you did. I think a read through by a proofer may help this. Impression <What did I feel having read the story, did I want to read more?> Marks out of 20 <17> Very drawn into the world of Haven, just as ASG would like his reader to be. Having all the theme of the story towards the end does slow the pace, and makes heavier work of it than need be. But the overall feeling: intrigued, interested and a little reassured (maybe) about human potential. Total score 86 Yotties out of 100. Readability guide 00-20 must try harder. 20-40 needsdevelopment 40-60 readable 60-80 good read 80-99 should read 100 reserved for my stories :-)