Review 009 About Debbie (ff no-sex) By ? the Platypus Storyline <Brief outline only> Once again I'll let the authors summary speak for itself. This story is inspired by some conversations overheard on public transport. Its otherwise totally fictional. Merits <What was worthy of comment> As a series of casual misconceptions about Debbie this is inspired. The title is so accurate, not of Debbie, but about Debbie. Gossip, yes - that thing that none of us do - we just listen to it honest! Each additional 'speaker' adds their own prejudices and desires to the situation. Just think folks this is what s happening to us all, as we sail through life the people around us re-invent our stories. Our author has observed, and duly nods to all of the conventional views on same sex relationships amongst the young. Elegantly, and just as in real life, the only people who have no input are Debbie and her girlfriend. Demerits <What detracted from the story> On the presentation side, I find the indent very invasive as the paragraphs are so short. The use of the term Oanism for mutual masturbation between women is odd. This is due both to the term being a misnomer for masturbation in the first place, but also a very male orientated one (coitus interruptus). The misspelling of Sappho is more forgivable. Atmosphere <How well evolved was the environment> Marks out of 20 <16> If we think of this as 'gossip calypso' nicely evolved. Workflow <How well did the story progress and develop> Marks out of 20 <17> Well the ending is well matched to the start with some digersion in the middle ground. In that way it is nicely cyclic. Eroticism <Just how erotic a read is this (erotic, not sexy!)> Marks out of 20 <16> I had to think about this for a long time, finaly I cam down on the quite erotic side. There is no sex, but then again the whole piece is about sex and relationships. This story actually broadens that by creating different attitudes 'about Debbie'. Mechanics <The boring bit, grammar, typo's etc.> Marks out of 20 <13> Even with the authors agraphia. I must mark it down here, not due to wrong word placement (a common problem for those suffering from agraphia), which no spell check will pick up - but spelling mistakes a spellchecker would resolve for the author. Mind you he may wish to emphasise the effect of his condition. I doubt if the casual reader (unfortunately) will find out about agraphia, or consider its effects. Impression <What did I feel having read the story, did I want to read more?> Marks out of 20 <16> Yes, this is a nice idea, expanded effectively and with some humour (I enjoyed the latent lesbian:)). It also has a deeper message for us all, and will add to the paranoia we all feel. I would also like to see how Debbie and her girlfriend react to the gossip that leaks out. Total score 78 Yotties out of 100. Readability guide 00-20 must try harder. 20-40 needs development 40-60 readable 60-80 good read 80-99 should read 100 reserved for my stories :-)