Review 008 Hung Over by Bradley Stoke Storyline <Brief outline only> Well thanks to his summary Bradley can do this himself: Clare is confused. Where is she? Who is she with? What has she done? She is hung over and with a man she can barely recognize and not even sure what it is they may have done together. Merits <What was worthy of comment> The reflection of the club and drugs scene is well done. As is the confusion we have all felt due to intoxicants in our time. The sex is casual, but the story expands on the unwanted side effects both of the sex and by implication the 'club scene'. The writing nicely detached which matches the style of the piece Clare's final decision is nicely observed. Demerits <What detracted from the story> Well personally I would have coded the story for drug use, as it is so strong a plot device, and it's one people have strong feelings about. There are an awful lot of guys (in terms of repetitions of the word). And a lot of sentences together beginning with 'And'. Re-reading it there actually aren't that many 'guys' or 'And's' but Bradley clusters their use - making them noticeable. I find the writing style harsh, this may be the flipside of being detached - but I have seen it done better. Atmosphere <How well evolved was the environment> Marks out of 20 <15> The environment in these terms is the story. Her confusion and her slow recollection of the night before are particularly nice. Workflow <How well did the story progress and develop> Marks out of 20 <15> The slow unfurling of wakening is nicely done, as is the switch to being fully awake. Eroticism <Just how erotic a read is this (erotic, not sexy!)> Marks out of 20 <9> I find the story anti-erotic (if there is such a thing) as it would tend to put me off rather than anything else. Now that's a bit unfair, as I think he's trying to show cause and effect. Life's hard sometimes - but I can only score it as I see it. Mechanics <The boring bit, grammar, typo's etc.> Marks out of 20 <15> There are things that irritate me, like the clustering I mentioned. A bit addicted to the comma, like some of us are.On the whole though it works well. Impression <What did I feel having read the story, did I want to read more?> Marks out of 20 <11> Again a tough score, but I wouldn't rush to read another tale like this as salutary as it is. I find it a bit bleak, and very self destructive (of the character). I'm sure people live like this; I'm just not certain I want to read about it. It lacks humanity, and that is, I think, deliberate - but not necessarily the only, or best way, to handle a difficult subject. Total score 65 Yotties out of 100. Readability guide 00-20 must try harder. 20-40 needs development 40-60 readable 60-80 good read 80-99 should read 100 reserved for my stories :-)