Review - Work Week by Sagittaria


Storyline 

<Brief outline only>
A new guy joins an organisation, soon he is talking to the
approachable Carol. It seems they share an attitude to work and
life. Jeff is a divorced survivor starting afresh. As the week
at work progresses their relationship blossoms. What could the
end of the week bring?


Merits

<What was worthy of comment>

The 'diary' approach works well and breaks the story into
chaplets nicely. The feel of an office is nicely caught, as is
their progressively less casual relationship.

Demerits

<What detracted from the story>

For me Wednesday was a little too short. The conversation was
totally truncated by the arrival of the food. I understand the
use of this device in the context of the story but it's use is
a bit harsh for my liking.


Atmosphere

<How well evolved was the environment> Marks out of  20
<15>

Considering the economy of words in this story it is well
realised. The office, restaurant and pub all come over as
places you may have been.

Workflow

<How well did the story progress and develop> Marks out of  20
<14>

Other than the noted truncation of Wednesday well. I
particularly like the old switcheroo at the end.

Eroticism

<Just how erotic a read is this (erotic, not sexy!)> Marks out
of  20
<12>

Well the sex is not as 'explored' as it could be, but that is
the nature of the tale. The story does expose the vulnerability
of the characters and their desperation for human 'contact'.
That very vulnerability gains it a higher score.

Mechanics

<The boring bit, grammar, typo’s etc.> Marks out of 20
<15>

Well for a Brit, there are some expressions that aren't quite
natural. But I can hardly score it down for that! This is a
well written story.

Impression

<What did I feel having read the story, did I want to read
more?> Marks out of 20
<13>

Well the story is complete within itself. More of the authors
work, yes. I always enjoy a good twist in the tail of a story.
It has the feel of a modern morality tale.

Total score

69 Yotties out of 100.

Readability guide           00-20 must try harder.
                            20-40 needs development
                            40-60 readable
                            60-80 good read
                            80-99 should read
                            100 reserved for my stories :-)