Keywords: m/f, oral, anal, f/f
Author: W R Jenkins
Title: I don't Swim out to Troopships

      I don't SWIM out to troopships anymore
	Okay. That's a misnomer. I never did seek out the troops. But it 
captures the spirit of my tale. Once upon a time I had to make the 
effort to find men, but now all I have to do is stand still. But enough of 
this gossip, let me tell my story.
	My friends tell me I was never an awkward teenager. If that is 
their perception, I'm glad I was able to pull it off. I felt like an 
awkward teenager- unsure, always sure someone would see through 
my front, always watching the others to get a clue how to behave. I 
think they were just lost in the same confusion and, like me, tended to 
think everyone else had the answers they were trying so desperately to 
find.
	I think I was just more afraid of seeming awkward and that 
made me seem aloof and scornful. That was certainly the reason the 
boys saw me as a challenge. Boys have it so much easier. They don't 
have the decisions. Maybe it's harder to adhere to the code, but they all 
know what it is. And it is the same regarding girls and sports-score.
	I think the boy's pecking order made it easier on me. I was 
lucky that the first boy to seriously pursue me was a junior, successful 
athlete and cool guy with a car. Billy was probably the best catch a 
freshman girl could land. At least in that narrow world of high school. 
He was a blue chip on the social scene and surprisingly patient with 
my 14-year-old nervousness.
	I realize now that he was probably as nervous as I was and 
probably as virginal. He didn't even try to touch my emerging breasts 
until the third date and then it was just a tentative rub over my sweater 
as we kissed goodnight. I was ready for more. I had been wrestling 
with the decision to go all the way since he first asked me out and I 
was ready to surrender everything else but willingly until I decided 
whether he would be my first.
	At that point my sexual imaginings hadn't included oral sex. 
The thought that we would put our mouths- down there- hadn't been in 
the facts of life book I was operating from. As it turned out, that was 
all that Billy was willing to risk. He said it was a matter of respect for 
me, but I think he was afraid I'd get pregnant and make him marry me.
	Once he saw I wasn't going to fight him, he accelerated his 
attentions. After our fourth date we parked and I let him work his way 
from over sweater to under sweater and then capped the evening by 
unsnapping my bra so he could touch bare tit. He didn't seem interested 
in me touching him and as a lowly 14-year-old I just sat and kissed and 
let him touch me.
	I didn't know the prevailing code at my school required going 
steady to give up bare tit, but Billy took care of that on our next date. 
He gave me his ring when he got to my house so I could have it on a 
chain around my neck for our date. This was a BIG Friday night date 
and he wanted me to be able to show off my trophy before we got 
down to our now legitimized groping in his car later.
	This was the big compliments, swearing love date with a plea 
to go in the back seat. I didn't know any better. I was still waiting for 
him to want to go all the way and now I had the ring I felt kind of 
obligated to say yes. But I was way ahead of Billy.
	He just wanted to take my sweater off and pull my bra up so he 
could look at my tits while he touched them. He did lay over me so I 
could feel his hardness between my legs, but we just necked as he 
manipulated my breasts. He did break new ground by kissing my 
breasts tentatively just before he sat up with a harried, confused look 
and said he better take me home.
	Better for whom? I was ready to DO IT. I was frustrated. Even 
his pathetic attempts at kissing my nipples had me on fire and his 
hardness just a few layers of clothes away had left a wet spot in my 
underpants. I had my hand on myself as I scampered up the stairs and 
it took me about half a dozen strokes of my fingers to give me release 
after I flopped on my bed.
	Maybe I was different- strange. Some girls said they didn't like 
it. Some girls despised boys for trying. Here I was afraid of being a 
slut because I wanted to hurry Billy up and I knew that only a slut 
would give more than the boy wanted. 
	But I wanted more. Billy had left me uncomfortably agitated. I 
didn't know what to do, but I knew I wanted more. My friend Terri 
came to my rescue. She didn't tell me what to do, but she gave me an 
idea.
	When I talked to Billy, I played the frightened freshman. I told 
him how jealous my friends were of the ring he gave me and that I was 
afraid that they would try to win him away from me. I told him I was 
just a kid and he was so much more experienced, but I wanted to make 
sure I was as good to him as anyone else could be.
	He assured me he was happy with me and that I could trust 
him. I really couldn't push it, but I hoped that I had planted a seed. 
Every time I could work it in our conversations the rest of the week, I 
told him I wanted to give him something special.
	During the week, we didn't have enough time alone for more 
than a little petting, but I was hoping that this Friday would be the big 
day. I think Billy got a little help from 'the guys' during the week. And 
from what I know about boys, that entails a report back. I know Billy 
looked a little hunted on our date. Expectations were hanging heavy on 
his shoulders and I hoped that would work in my favor.
	Taking me to a school dance worked for me, too. The guys got 
to encourage Billy all night with their adolescent rude comments and I 
got more ammunition for my claim that I had to move quick to keep 
my man. Really, it was touching that Billy was so concerned about me 
as a person, but as a person I wanted this- I wanted it bad.
	I guess that makes me the one treating him like a piece of meat, 
but at least I gave him, the person, chance after chance to be my piece 
of meat. It was still a world where only the most confident girl felt she 
could choose her men and that wasn't me. Billy chose me and I tried to 
get what I needed from him. I was at least that loyal.
	After the dance I was expecting great things. I still couldn't 
picture how the whole sex thing should go, but I thought this was the 
night I would fill in the holes in my knowledge. Billy was more 
nervous that night than I have ever seen him before or since. We 
cruised the parking spots like he was afraid to stop. I think the guys 
had told him they were going to watch him tonight. I asked him what 
he was doing and he said the places were too crowded. Well, I had the 
answer for that one.
	There was a little dirt road by my house. It went between 
houses and had little spurs off it to some of the houses on my block. 
We had a shed in the back and his car would nestle right up there out 
of sight of everyone. He relaxed a little when he saw how secluded it 
really was, even being in my back yard and all. He still looked scared 
to touch me, but I think he felt safe from discovery.
	I wanted to go right into the back seat and Billy wanted to talk. 
We compromised by talking on the lawn beside the shed. He said he 
liked me a lot but that he felt bad going so fast with a girl so young. He 
knew the other boys were jealous too, just like I had said the girls 
were. He thought it was wrong to feel so nervous about it and would 
like to just do things that felt comfortable. If (if?) it felt right we could 
do stuff, but he wanted it to feel right and not just be what other people 
expected.
	I told him how I had felt that last Friday and he was silent. I 
think I shocked him with my honesty. I told him that was 
uncomfortable too and he laughed and confided that he did the same 
thing when he got home.
	Then why can't we do that together, I asked. This was one of 
the first times we had talked person to person and Billy really relaxed. 
He told me he liked me even more right them because I was so 'neat'. I 
figured that was a good time to strike.
	I told him how much I still wanted this night to be special and 
that we could just make up a story to tell everyone else. We could do 
whatever we wanted together and then tell people whatever we wanted. 
It was like us against them. He liked the privacy of that.
	We went in the shed instead of his car. It was dark inside and 
we could block the door from the inside. There was even a big old 
chair for us to cuddle in. I felt safe enough to take off all my clothes 
but my shoes and socks and I talked Billy into taking off his shirt and 
pulling his pants down.
	It was finally the kind of necking I had dreamed of. We fit 
together in the chair, barely, pressed together along our lengths of 
naked skin. He was afraid to turn and face me unless his dick would 
somehow find its way inside me, so I turned sideways to him as we 
kissed and he fondled my breasts. He jumped when I finally got my 
hand on a real, live actual boy's dick for the first time, but I wasn't 
about to give up my prize.
	When he tried to move my hand, I put his in my crotch and 
went right back to it. It seemed like he had fingered a girl before. At 
least he was good at it. I was hoping that I was doing right by him as I 
explored his cock with my fingers.
	"You'll have to show me how to do it," I told him, admitting it 
was the first male organ I had ever held.
	"You're doing fine," he encouraged, "Just keep touching it and 
it'll be great."
	Our kissing had disintegrated from our need to pant, but the 
real mutual genital stimulation was more than a good substitute. I was 
taken aback when Billy said he wanted to kiss me. I was confused 
when he started moving away from me after he said it. He laid me in 
the chair and moved down my body, taking away my toy.
	That was my introduction. As I said, it was something that 
hadn't occurred to me. I was going to protest his kissing me where I 
pee, but before I could get the words out, his lips touched me. Then his 
tongue. That froze the words in my throat. I wanted more. I liked it. It 
made me cum. It made me cum better than I could do it myself.
	At first he was afraid he was hurting me, but I breathlessly 
assured him that stopping him was the last thing on my mind. I begged 
him to keep it up and thanked him endlessly as he used his mouth on 
me. I asked him to do it to me then, but he declined.
	I asked him how I could return the favor and he tried to get me 
to jack him off. I had no objection to that, but I felt like I owed him 
more for introducing me to oral sex. When I got him to sit in the chair, 
I took the same approach as he had and knelt to kiss his dick. When he 
saw I was set on this course, he began to suggest how I could better 
please him.
	 He was timid suggesting I take it in my mouth, but once I had 
tried it I saw my course at once. It was an interesting feeling to have 
his largeness filling my mouth. He was warm and an exciting mixture 
of soft over solid. He was a living thing in my mouth and my 
enjoyment was only increased by his sighs and moans of pleasure as I 
played with his cock in my mouth. I sucked it by blind instinct, slowly 
like a popsicle. He urged me with fingers gentle in my hair and I 
moved faster at their guidance.
	He made a cry of warning, but I didn't understand. The first 
spurt was disgusting-I had the instant impression of him spitting into 
my mouth. It gagged me and I was still frozen from the shock when 
the next spurt came hard on the heels of the first. I was pulling away 
when the third flood shot into my mouth and I that one didn't seem so 
bad. His semen was beginning to pool and run down along my tongue 
to my lips and I found I could contain his eruptions as long as they 
didn't hit the back of my throat. I didn't want to seem like a quitter, so I 
opened my lips to let the pool leak out and sucked him again.
	There wasn't much more shooting out. He was calling me all 
sorts of nice things as he relaxed flung back in the chair and then he 
tried to lift me up. I asked him if that was okay and he said it was more 
than that- it was great. He told me that most girls take their mouths off 
before the sperm shoots out and just jack it off. He liked it better the 
way I did it.
	I told him how it gagged me at first, but that I thought I had 
figured out a way that I could do it better the next time. He said we 
should try to do it to each other at the same time, but another night. He 
was worried someone would miss us and come looking. 
	We were pretty much naked but I felt safe in the shed. If 
anyone came to the small window it would pretty much block out the 
only light that seeped inside and they wouldn't be able to see anything- 
besides giving us a warning. But his car was outside and there was no 
need to tempt fate on this night.
	I did have him go outside- after he dressed of course- and try 
the window. I posed in the chair with my legs spread wide towards the 
window and waited for the light to black out. I gave him a minute and 
then pulled on my clothes and met him outside.
	"That's spooky," he said, "I knew you were in the chair, but I 
still couldn't make out anything I could recognize. I moved around 
trying to trick the light, but I couldn't make anything out- not body part, 
not nothing."
	We decided that made it a perfect meeting place, but we'd have 
to find some place to put his car that would confuse the issue. I think 
we were both excited for our own selfish reasons, but our selfish 
reasons had to do with each other. I was glad I had a guy to do me and 
he was glad he had a girl to do him.
	It was a real chaste kiss at the door, considering how we were 
kissing before, but somehow that felt so grown up. We said good-bye 
quickly and then each rushed off to their own reliving of the night. I 
fingered myself to the memory of kissing his cock and came as I 
recalled the feel of his seed choking me.
	I only told Terri what had happened and I didn't tell her every 
detail- like where we went. I did tell her all about him kissing me 
down there and what it felt like to have a boy's thing in your mouth. 
She told me she'd heard about that from some of the older girls. They 
said boys liked it better than sex and it was easier to do it to them. She 
had been thinking about trying it herself to keep from having to go all 
the way with her boyfriend.
	She asked me all about how I did it and we promised to 
compare notes every time either of us did it again. We'd try stuff and 
trade secrets until we were the best.
	Looking back, I am amazed at my fortune to be chosen by 
Billy. There were no untoward looks in the halls from boys or the other 
girls. No rumors reached back to me that Billy had been boasting his 
luck. In fact, the 'hot girls' still treated me like a little girl, which I took 
with a knowing smile.
	Billy and I decided that we didn't have to wait until Friday to 
get together again. We could still go out on dates, but we could meet 
for half an hour or so to try out our new treat during the week without 
any one suspecting.
	He came over that night and we snuck out to the shed. We 
tipped the chair over and put its cushion in line with its back already 
naked and ready to play. Billy laid down first and told me to squat 
over his face. When I bent over to kiss his dick, he slid his tongue way 
up inside me. I didn't think anything could get so deep inside, but my 
wonder quickly dissolved in the incredible feelings his tongue was 
giving me. In a strange way it made me want his dick in my mouth all 
the more.
	He made me cum twice before he pumped his semen in my 
mouth. I swallowed it this time and we quickly dressed, kissed good-
bye and went home like nothing had happened.
	Billy never did want anything more than to eat me and have me 
suck his dick. And, as these things happen, we finally decided to break 
up. It was a good split. It made both sets of parents happy and we 
never forgot our friendship. And we never told anyone about the shed. 
That was because Billy never stopped coming over for a quick naked 
half hour with me until he graduated, not matter who we were seeing at 
the time.
	It didn't count. It wasn't a relationship, we were reliving 
memories- old friend stuff.
	I know I never felt guilty, but that would have been easy no 
matter what I was doing behind Will's back. Will was a jerk. I think he 
was having some kind of contest with Billy that Billy didn't know 
about. Will came on nice as pie, but from our first date he kept trying 
to get me to go all the way with him.
	I had been looking for someone to relieve me of my virginity, 
but I immediately knew it wouldn't be Will. It would make him too 
proud and he was a jerk. I let him grope me and I think I gave him one 
hand job, but as soon as Eric seemed interested I dropped Will like a 
bad habit.
	Eric was a smoothy as well, but at least he was classy about it. 
I talked to Billy about him and Billy said he really was a nice guy, he 
just got all these ideas about how to treat women from men's 
magazines. I even asked Billy if I should do it with Eric and he said 
Eric would be noble about it and it would probably be okay. He didn't 
think Eric would keep it a secret, but he thought he'd be too cool to 
release details.
	Keeping Billy as my friend was one of the (few) smart things I 
did in my life.
	The trump card for Eric was that his parents were too snooty to 
run around checking on him and they had a pool house where we could 
sneak off and be alone together. I really wanted my first time to go 
smoothly and by now I'd given up the romantic notion of picking 
someone special to be my first. I was hooked on practicality after my 
first two tries.
	Of course, nothing went as planned. Eric had this champagne 
seduction planned with me dressed in one of his mother's peignoirs and 
he got busted. His dad noticed the champagne was missing about ten 
minutes after Eric had lifted it and he went looking for it. He knew a 
seduction den when he saw it- after all they were his men's magazines- 
and he took away Eric's toys.
	Fortunately I wasn't there yet and when I arrived Mr. Foster 
took us aside and told us he knew what was up. He didn't want to 
trouble his wife with it, but he thought it best if he took me home and 
we had a talk.
	It is the only time I can remember my parents having good 
timing. They were out for the night, so I listened to Mr. Foster 
knowing he wasn't going to be able to tell my folks. Of course that was 
a short term solution, but it was better than none. But Mr.. Foster 
wasn't threatening to tell my parents. He was having a calm discussion 
about the perils of teen-age sex and precautions.
	It seemed his favorite point was that teenagers were 
inexperienced, clumsy and prone to mistakes. A girl shouldn't evaluate 
sex based on them, it could be quite fine when done properly. His real 
point didn't even occur to me until there was an awkward pause after 
he had seen me into my house and found no one home. Then I knew 
what he was telling me. If I wanted it done right, he knew how better 
than Eric.
	He was very smooth about it and I could have just ignored him, 
but his little talk had me thinking. I asked him to stay a moment until I 
checked the house to give me a minute to think. As soon as I did that, I 
didn't need the time anymore. This was ultimately practical. I didn't 
pick Eric because of any special affection I had for him, I picked him 
because I thought he would finally do it with me.
	Now all I had to find out was if Mr. Foster was really ready to 
do it or just a talker. I asked him to help me look around and got him 
up to my bedroom. Then I put my hands on his chest and told him 
what I was thinking. I think I scared him at first- like I had stepped out 
of a fantasy and startled him. I told him he could trust me- I couldn't 
very well tell Eric I had let his old man be the first and I hadn't given 
up on Eric. 
	He didn't say yes and he didn't say no. But when I opened his 
pants and took out his penis, he started to undress me. He was a 
careful and considerate lover, making sure I was very aroused before 
he even proposed putting his dick in me. He seemed surprised and then impressed when I asked to suck his cock and then did.
	He told me I was very good at it, but seemed pretty anxious to 
put his dick in my other end. He lay down and then told me to climb 
over him so I would be in control of how much I wanted to do and 
when. His cock felt soooo good as it forced my lips open and got that 
little bit inside, but then it hit the resistance and I got ready for the pain 
everybody told me about.
	It wasn't a big deal. Maybe older men do know how to make it 
easy or maybe I was just ripe. I'm not saying it didn't hurt, but not 
much more than a shot does- you know one prick and it's over. It was 
more uncomfortable to feel him fill me up as I slid down on his dick. 
You have to get used to that feeling.
	I didn't have long to get used to it because Mr. Foster took his 
dick right out of me. I was crushed. Billy made me feel better than 
that. But when he saw my disappointment, Mr. Foster quickly 
explained he was going to put it back in me. He had put his naked 
prick in me so I would have the real feel the first time, but he had to 
put on a rubber now before we had some of those complications he had 
told me about in the car.
	That was a relief. He let me put the rubber on for him and then 
asked me how I wanted him to do me. Did I want to be on top or in the 
normal position or on my hands and knees or side or what? I knew I 
wouldn't be too good at being on top because I would forget to move 
when I came. Other than that I had no opinion. He said maybe we 
should start at the beginning with the basics and had me lay on my 
back.
	It wasn't that much easier for him to get inside of me without 
that troublesome hymen in the way. He still felt way big for my tiny 
pussy and the rubber made him seem all the huger. But at some point 
he hit something in there that made me think of other things. It was like 
a warmness spreading through me from my pussy out to the rest of my 
body. I still had this feeling of fullness- like after Thanksgiving, but I 
was getting warm and juicy. 
	Then he fucked me. That other stuff was nothing. I had been 
wasting 90% of my concern on 10% of the fucking. When he started 
moving that thing in and out of me, everything changed. All the subtle 
little feelings of warmth and fullness disappeared behind the big feeling 
of him rubbing that dick in and out of my cunt. I didn't have to pay 
close attention to the nuances- my pussy was beating me over the head 
with big, twitching feelings.
	And I got used to that full feeling about a second after he 
started to pull his dick back. I missed it immediately and wanted it 
again and again and again. I know that his filling me up was just as 
important as the rubbing on my clit he was doing as he fucked me.
	Or what I thought was fucking me. Mr. Foster changed the 
whole landscape again when he really got into it. He had been giving 
me this long, slow, steady stuff creeping up a little in pace as he went, 
but then he broke into really giving it to me. His butt was a bobbin' up 
and down as he rammed in and out of me like a piston. I wasn't taking 
notes on the experience anymore. My thoughts were like- Oh god! 
Jesus, oh my, unh unh unh, as he pumped into me and made me come. 
It was a real blast of an orgasm and I was twitching and flailing and 
bouncing all over the bed as he kept feeding me this dick. It seemed to 
last like a hundred times longer than one I gave myself and he was still 
fucking me when I was done.
	I think that was for show. He had been making some pretty 
loud noises while I was kicking and bouncing my way through my 
climax, so I think he came sometime in there. But he fucked me a 
while and then slowed down and slowly, grudgingly pulled his dick 
out of me bit by bit until it fell out. I think he was realizing it was the 
last time he'd get his dick in that pussy and was trying to make the 
most of it.
	I told him that he had been right and that it was a good 
experience with him and he seemed really complimented. He told me 
he had been happy to do it. Before he could remind me to keep quiet 
about it, I told him I knew the score and that Eric wouldn't like it any 
more than his wife- or my father- would. Maybe Eric couldn't do 
anything, but I had no reason to tattle. He decided that Eric would have 
to plan his seduction another night and that he would have to talk to the 
boy.
	Then he asked me to tell him how it went with Eric. Like when 
the kid got the balls to try again and if he had any idea what he was 
doing.
	Eric began to pale at that moment. He wasn't as impressive a 
catch as Billy had been to my inexperienced eyes. He was still a good 
pairing, socially, but I had already gotten what I really wanted from 
him. I began to wish I could get rid of him now.
	That was not possible. It would raise too many questions. I 
might be able to tell him his dad scared me off, but then I would make 
an enemy. I decided I had to go through with it with Eric at least once. 
He asked me how it went at school the next day and I gave him the 
short version. His dad wasn't real preachy but he talked my ear off all 
the way home. Eric smiled and told me that was the way his dad was. 
He had gotten the 'ruin your life' speech about getting girls in trouble.
	He said we had probably burned out the pool house for a while. 
Maybe sometime when he was sure they would be out, but for now we 
had to think of something else. That was music to my ears. I knew Eric 
despised people that humped in the confines of their cars, so I figured I 
wouldn't have to do it for a while. I knew I wasn't going to tell him 
about the shed at my house.
	I had sold Eric short. He was a pretty resourceful guy and a lot 
of guys owed him favors. He apologized for not being able to 'do it 
right', but one of his friends had a sister that was grown and in college 
and her playhouse was still in the backyard. We could go there and be 
alone.
	That was his story. The playhouse was nice enough. I liked the 
way Jamie's sister had decorated it. It was too small for adult to stand 
in, but there was enough floor space to lay down. I was a little nervous 
because it was pretty close to the house, but Eric and I sat there and 
necked for a while and I began to relax. He was far from the lover his 
dad had been, but he was patient and went slow from touching my 
breasts and pussy through my clothes to undressing me piece by piece.
	He got me totally naked before he undressed and let me see his 
penis for the first time. I had stroked him through his pants, but he 
hadn't wanted me to put my mouth on it before he had 'done it the 
regular way'. He rubbed my pussy with his fingers, letting the middle 
one slide up and down my slot until he thought I felt wet enough and 
then he got over me to put his dick in me.
	I don't think he was a virgin either. He opened me with his 
fingers so he could put his cock in the right place and made sure it was 
going in my vagina before he leaned over me to fuck me. He told me 
how special it felt to slide inside me for the first time and said he 
would remember that forever. He held it all the way in me for a time 
like he was memorizing it and then kissed me before he started to 
move. He started up pretty fast and I suddenly realized he was riding 
me bareback.
	I asked him about protection and he said he'd take care of that 
before he came. That scared me stiff and he got grumpy that I wasn't 
responding and pulled out to put on a rubber. I told him I was sorry, 
but I was scared and he said it was all right, he understood. I tried to 
make it up to him by being active when he put it back in me. Maybe 
that was the problem, because grunted and came just as I was getting 
excited.
	He didn't fuck on like his dad and I tried to pretend he had been 
good for me when he pulled his dick out. That was when I caught a 
movement out of the corner of my eye. Eric was pretty proud of 
himself, so it was easy to tell him it had been good. It was also easy to 
watch the window out of the corner of my eye to see who had been 
peeping at us.
	We got dressed right away, but Eric want to neck some more. I 
guess it was something the magazines recommended- post-coital 
tenderness. While we were kissing I got a glimpse of Jaime at the 
window. It made sense since it was his yard and it wasn't much of a 
leap to think Eric might have made a deal that Jamie could watch if we 
could use the playhouse.
	Eric did get better. We probably succeeded in fucking four or 
five more times and he made me come most of them. After the first 
time he also let me suck him off  whenever we couldn't find a place to 
be alone. He never put his mouth on me, but he was good at satisfying 
me with his fingers, and that was all right.
	But now I had a reputation. Eric would allow that he had 
'tagged' me and of course Jaime was spreading it around. The 'bad' 
girls were treating me with some respect and the boys thought I was a 
hot property- freshman and all. The situation pointed up one of the 
deceits of high school. I was marked as a girl 'who did' but there wasn't 
a big line of boys waiting to take me out. They all said they wanted it, 
but they were pretty shy about going where they knew they could get 
it.
	I had to finally break out of my passive mode and go after 
them. I still can't explain why I felt the need, but maybe it was 
expecting to be mobbed and then getting no one. And maybe I felt a 
little like a hunter in view of their timidity. I got Jamie first. I was real 
subtle indicating that I knew he was watching, but he got the message. 
I was just as subtle with the blackmail, but he got that message as well.
	For someone getting what boys said they wanted, he was sure 
nervous. I let him pick a time when his parents were away even, but it 
didn't calm him down. I could only surmise he was afraid of me. I 
know now he probably hadn't ever done it and he knew I had and was 
afraid I'd unmask him somehow. 
	I made him get undressed first since I was in control and then I 
showed him what a naked 14-year-old looks like from inside the 
window. His nerves didn't affect his ability to get a hardon, fortunately. 
I was afraid to play with it much for fear it would go off, but I had to 
for Terri's sake. After all, fair is fair and if Jamie got to watch me get 
laid it was only fair my friend should get to watch too.
	I was afraid to kiss his dick, but I promised him I would after 
he 'did it'. Then I made him kiss my pussy. I told him to close his eyes 
and stick out his tongue and I would take care of the rest. I wanted his 
eyes closed so Terri could get a good look at him licking my slit and I 
gave it to her. I smiled at her as I grabbed Jamie by the hair and 
worked his tongue up and down my crack. She smiled back.
	It was pretty good and I was ready for something more when I 
told Jamie I was ready for him to do it. He shouldn't have been so 
nervous because he was lucky I knew what we were doing. I had my 
knees up to guide him between them and I reached down to make sure 
he found the hole. He pushed in real slow like he was still scared, but 
once he was in all the way he smiled. He had gotten that far- he had 
done it.
	I told him he was real big and not to move a lot at first until I 
got used to it. It was all lies, but I was trying to keep him from 
cumming right away. I didn't expect him to last long enough for me to 
cum, but I did want the feel for a little bit before he shot his wad. That 
was because Jamie was luckier than he knew. I was letting him fuck 
me bareback.
	It would be the first time I felt a real dick fuck me right to the 
end and the first time I felt the cum squirt out inside me and then seep 
out afterwards. I was real regular with my period and I knew this was 
a safe day- for sure I would know in a day or two when my period 
should start.
	Jamie was real good and just moved the slightest bit until I told 
him I was ready. Then he was a little awkward until he found the 
stroke. They don't call it doin' what comes naturally for nothing. As he 
got more and more excited, his strokes got better and better, straighter 
and straighter and then harder and harder. I had been wrong about 
Jamie. Maybe his nerves slowed him down. I threw my legs over his 
back and pulled him to me as he started to fuck me faster. I came even 
before he got to top speed. I was trying to help him the way he was 
helping me as I thrashed though my climax.
	I was done before he came, but I was still glowing and glad to 
feel his injection in my heated cunt. I almost forgot to notice how it 
felt, but afterwards I remembered pretty well anyway. Jamie wasn't 
nervous then. He was so pumped up that he wanted to chatter. I made 
him get off me so I could feel the cum leak out of me and then let him 
talk. 
	Generally he was pretty pleased with the way it went. He said 
that about a hundred ways in his enthusiasm and I finally decided I 
would have to shut him up. I reminded him I had promised to kiss his 
dick and he quieted down to watch me do it.
	It gave Terri a good view too. She had gone to the other 
window to watch his butt drive his dick into me and now that was the 
right view for her to watch me crouch over Jamie and suck his dick. 
He and she were facing the same way and it was unlikely that Jamie 
was going to look over his head while I was doing this fascinating 
thing to his dick.
	I used all my tricks as a demo for Terri and Jamie didn't 
complain once. I made him cum again, but I pulled off after the first 
spurt so Terri could see the geyser. I kissed it a little afterwards in 
apology, but Jamie had no complaints. He liked me a lot after that. He 
didn't try to follow me or beg me to do it again, but he hung around 
and watched me and I was sure he wouldn't be shy if I asked him 
again.
	I thought I'd fuck him again sometime, but it just never 
happened. I guess we just never had the right timing. That's a shame 
because he was one of the good ones. Of course, I didn't feel the least 
bit guilty in having Terri watch. It wasn't a biggie.
	Eric dried up in the summer, going off on vacations and camps 
and the like. That let me scour the city for more boys that might give 
me what I liked. I was pretty comfortable in the role of hunter now and 
I had learned how to stalk guys and then make it seem like it was their 
idea to go after me. My problem was I was still considered jail bait 
even though I had turned 15.
	That was a good thing (I guess) when I met Robbie. Robbie 
didn't go to my school. I don't think Robbie went to any school. I think 
he was 18 because he was real interested in how old I was. I told him 
the truth because I looked like a kid even if I was getting to be pretty 
well-developed. He told me the only way I could get away with a lie 
was if I dressed like a whore and told people I was 15. They'd figure I 
was scamming them and was really older.
	He was full of stuff like that which was fascinating to a little 
white girl from a middle-class suburban school. He wasn't sure he 
wanted anything to do with me, but he was interested. I think the thing 
that put me over the top was I was honest with him. I didn't give him a 
lot of bullshit about who I was or what I wanted him for.
	He was honest right back. He didn't need problems. I was 
trouble, but at the same time I was interesting. How many little rich 
kids were going to want to fuck him in his lifetime? All things being 
equal he'd do me in a minute, but he had to consider possible 
repercussions.
	I talked him into letting me blow him as a test drive and I guess 
he liked that enough to take the chance. Now I mentioned that my 
youth was a good thing. That's taking in the broad picture. My summer 
wouldn't have been as memorable if I was18 like Robbie. Because I 
was a kid, he said he couldn't take chances. Not even chances on a 
rubber. There had to be no possible trace no way of anything that could 
prove he had been fooling around with jail bait.
	I thought he was just trying to 'get over on me' for the blow job 
because it sounded like he was saying he wasn't going to fuck me. But 
then I was just a kid. I wasn't getting what he was driving at. He just 
smiled at that and told me there was more than one way to skin a cat.
	I had pretty much made a scene when I thought he was going to 
wimp out on me, so when he told me what he wanted to do I felt like I 
had to try. But, Christ, I had never even been fucked in the pussy from 
behind. And I had seen his dick- it was big. And I was afraid I might 
embarrass myself. And... and... and... 
	I was more scared than with Mr. Foster, but I kept it to myself. 
After all, Robbie had made it seem like I forced him into this corner. I 
had wanted something and he was offering me the best he could. I 
analyzed that over and over in succeeding years to get the hang of that 
reversal. But I felt obligated.
	Then I felt invaded. Robbie at least opened me up with his 
finger first as let me get his dick slippery with spit. But he didn't have 
no grease or nothing. I think it was part of the charm for Robbie to put 
his dick up the dry back hole of a downtown white girl. Oh Jesus God 
it hurt! I wasn't real exciting or anything. He was just scraping me as 
he pushed his big dick in a place it wasn't designed to go.
	I felt like some kind of jungle prey being skewered when he 
shoved it to the end and pushed against my butt. My asshole ached as 
he began to fuck in and out. I wasn't having any feelings except a 
desire for survival. When I realized that I was probably going to live, I 
did sense some sympathetic response to the familiar in-out that usually 
took place in that region. I may have even been grunting in time with 
his thrusts. But this was only sexual in the most vague psychological 
terms. I was furnishing him with a place to have sex. I was being a 
receptacle. There was a connection to sex in that role, but it was a 
mental connection. My other end wasn't getting anything like excited.
	I figured it might be an acquired taste, but I figured I could 
exhaust a lot of other possibilities before I acquired it.
	His cumming in my ass wasn't that bad. It was creepy at first 
because it took a minute for me to figure out what had happened. 
When he shot another wad I was pretty sure he hadn't punctured my 
bowel and that was just his come. Otherwise it was stimulating. Those 
kind of jerks felt better and the come squirting up my ass was 
definitely tingly.
	Also, it meant it was over. Taking his cock out of my ass was 
necessary, but it still wasn't that pleasant. I felt like everything inside 
me was going to fall out for hours. My asshole didn't seem like it was 
ever going to recover, or close.
	I told Robbie I would see him around. I meant that- I didn't tell 
him that he wouldn't see me if I saw him first. But it was still a good 
thing to learn. It wasn't a good way to learn it, but it gave me 
something to think about. It gave me a new understanding and another 
chapter in the sex manual in my head.
	I met a couple of other guys in the summer. Summer was the 
perfect time to mingle and sprinkle in a few brief and incidental 
encounters. I met one at the city swimming pool and jacked him off 
right in the water. Of course he wanted to follow up on that and I let 
him fuck me behind the bushes in the park. The only thing worthy of 
note was that I was taken from behind for the second time that 
summer. I was on my hands and knees for the second time, but this 
was the first time I had normal sex in the position.
	Then there was a kid my age that just wanted a friend. His 
older brother was riding him pretty hard about being too young to hang 
around with and he needed to hear that it was his brother's problem and 
that there was nothing wrong with him. Sometimes the obvious stuff is 
hard to keep track of. Like being 15 isn't anyone's fault. Everyone that 
makes it to 18 was 15 once.
	But in a way I also understood the older brother when I got to 
know the kid. He was more like 12. I think he was living the leftovers 
of his brother's life and had never really been just himself. I had my 
own reasons, of course, but I thought I could give the kid something he 
needed while I got what I wanted.	He was different because it was the first time I had been in 
charge. Not manipulating the actions of others behind the scenes, but in 
charge. I pretended we were exploring this stuff together, but I was the 
one who told him what to do.
	I give him credit for not being scared. He wasn't real quick but 
he was willing to practice. He even wanted to take the time to get the 
pussy licking right. And that was before I had even blown him. He 
wasted a whole day that I had planned to eat each other by practicing 
eating me- to two real good orgasms- and not giving me time to suck 
him at all.
	 I think he silently crossed over to being a man when I did give 
him that blowjob. I think he saw for the first time where Peter Pan 
went wrong. He wanted to lick me again afterwards and when I told 
him the best was yet to come, he gazed up at me over my fuzzy little 
mound with wonder in his eyes.
	After a whole lifetime of having a shadow, his older brother 
was beginning to wonder what had broken the spell. The kid hadn't 
even seemed interested in following him- like he had something he was 
looking forward to somewhere else. I had known that was good for the 
kid, but I hadn't foreseen how it would affect his relationship with his 
brother.
	Anyway, older brother began scouting around for where his 
little brother went. That happened to coincide with our 'big day'. I had 
dressed specially for this meeting. Instead of my normal T-shirt and 
shorts- with all normal underpinnings, I had left off the bra and worn a 
tank top that was more revealing than concealing and I had put on my 
baggiest pair of shorts so he could look up the legs and see my lack of 
underwear.
	I was dressed for convenience and seduction and I was lucky to 
get out of the house without being seen even with the loose shirt I had 
thrown on as a wrapper and planned to use as a blanket. It was all too 
evident what I was out for. My breasts had blossomed into mounds I 
could no longer fully cover with my hands and the curve protruded 
past the sides of my top. Not that it mattered in the thin knit that 
sculpted itself to me and outlined my breasts and nipples as if I had 
been naked.
	From the look on his face, I was afraid the kid was going to 
blow his wad in his shorts when he saw me. He told me I looked so 
grown up when I dressed like that and I told him it was just me and he 
was about to be just as grown up as I was. He really liked the tank top 
and refused to let me slip it off right away.
	He could have jumped me when I first laid down and done me 
right, he was that ready from just looking, but I wanted to make it a 
better memory than that. I made him slide his hands up my shorts to 
play with me while I got his shorts down and then I took my shorts off. 
For the first time my pussy being naked didn't make him want to 
burrow his face between my legs. He was too involved in paying 
homage to my tits until there were huge wet spots on the fabric.
	He finally let me slip the top off, but he went right back to my 
flint-hard nipples like they were somehow different today than before. 
Not that it was bad. His passionate dedication to my tits was having all 
the right effect on my pussy and I reached for his dick and started 
stroking it. He had got me hot without the benefit of pussy licking and 
I saw no reason to break the spell.
	It was a little tricky getting the rubber on him without seeing 
what I was doing, but I managed and then I pulled at him. He didn't 
want to stop moving his mouth over my tits, but he moved up and I got 
him set to the opening of my cunt. I pulled at his butt with my other 
hand and told him to push it in. His eyes opened wider the farther he 
sank into me until he looked totally startled at full insertion. I pulled 
him down to kiss him and moved under him to give him the idea. The 
kiss wiped the silly expression off his face, but the urging of my hips 
was lost on him. I had to tell him to move it in and out and I gave him 
hints on how far and how fast as I nibbled along his shoulder.
	"Something's happening!" he said in a panicky voice as he 
followed my instructions.
	"If you feel like you're going to blow up, that's the point." I 
explained, "It's just like jacking off or when I did you with my mouth- 
it just feels different like this."
	I told him to just do it the way it felt. Fuck me hard and fast or 
deep or whatever seemed like it was what his dick wanted. His dick 
knew what it was doing and it couldn't do it wrong. It was much nicer 
when I could just pay attention to my end of the screw. He obviously 
had just been feeling the 'I'm getting ready' tightening of his balls 
because he jerked his dick in and out of me frantically for some time 
before he started yipping and jerking over me. It was almost enough 
time for me to cum. He certainly got me to the 'pretty near' panting 
stage before he started flopping like a fish out of water. I knew he 
wouldn't have sense enough to know what to do while he was 
cumming so I took over again, throwing my pussy at him and fucking 
him while he was out of control.
	I worked him a little when he collapsed on me and then waited. 
He just lay there with his eyes squeezed shut like he was afraid to do 
anything. I told him to he had to get off so I could breathe, but to push 
himself up on his hands first so I could take care of things. It was a 
little frustrating with a novice, but the feeling of power was incredible 
and I still felt- deep down- like this was some sort of sacred duty. I got 
a hold of the rubber and made sure it stayed on while I pulled him out.
	I got to show him how to squeeze the rubber as you pull it off 
to scrape the cum off inside and then how to tie the thing at the top. He 
was still affected by what he'd just done, but this was back to the being 
friends thing. I think that was why he pulled up his pants so quick, 
because we'd switched gears back to the kid part of our relationship.
	I pulled on my clothes- cold, wet top and all because we heard 
his brother calling him. I had time to get the tank top on, but I was 
reaching for the shirt to throw over my now too obvious breasts when 
his brother found us. He saw what was happening. Hard nipples, big 
wet spots on my top, hastily arranged shorts and a used rubber next to 
us.
	He didn't say anything- he was stunned for a moment. It was 
just enough time for me to tell the kid I had to go- right now- and I'd 
see him later.
	I didn't leave him hanging. If we would have had time to talk 
longer that day, I might have just disappeared from his life, but that 
didn't feel right because of the way I left him. When I met him again he 
was as happy as I'd ever seen him. And it wasn't just being glad to see 
me. He knew he wasn't a kid anymore- his brother had promoted him. I 
could have felt slighted that my role wasn't more prominent in his 
thinking, but I understood that the thing with his brother was life-long 
and all-consuming.
	Far from wanting to use his discovery to torment his brother, 
the older boy was suddenly the student to the kid. I could take my 
pride from the way the kid said his brother reacted to me. It was 
typically aimed toward their relationship as relating to what his brother 
could attract, but the kid said his brother was instantly, achingly in lust 
with me. I still wasn't getting a lot of credit, but we weren't having that 
kind of day.
	It was an arm around your buddy day. We never were really 
lovers, the sex wasn't real sex, it was just something like watching 
bugs, an shared interest. I'd showed him how to do it for when he did 
have a girlfriend. But that was something his brother never had to 
know. He had learned by doing and I was guessing that put him ahead 
of his brother. I had wanted a student and I'd found one. He had 
wanted respect and he'd found it.
	I told him what to say about me to impress his brother- how he 
broke it off gracefully since he'd gotten what he wanted- and we said 
good-bye- like buddies.
	Stepping back into the school scene was kind of tough after the 
freedom I had during the summer. I wasn't comfortable in either my 
old submissive freshman role or as the bold bitch I had been all 
summer. That made it a bright spot when Eric dumped me, saying we 
had grown apart during the summer, because it meant I could start the 
year clean. Billy was moving around free again and we dated a couple 
of times while I was figuring out who I was going to be this year.
	I should have made Billy marry me. So what if he works in a 
gas station now? He was my best friend, even over Terri, and always 
gave me his most thoughtful counsel. I guess we just never had that 
spark. Like that's a reason.
	Anyway, Billy said it was up to me. It seemed to him everyone 
changed over summers and it was only normal that I might be different 
as a sophomore. People might notice, people might comment, but that 
wasn't necessarily criticism and what if it was? He could break it down 
so clear. And he used visual aides. He slid his hands up under my 
breasts and held them out for me. These aren't the same, he said, 
they're a cup size bigger, easy. Why should you take the same old tiny 
part at school?
	I asked him if he had noticed how they had grown before or 
after he had seen me naked and he smiled. He told me I was hiding it 
pretty good with the clothes I was wearing, but he had been aware 
there had been a change. He also said I could definitely make an 
impact if I wanted to show them off. They were already as big as most 
girls' were going to ever get and he could tell they were still going to 
swell.
	I might as well be blonde, I thought as I considered parading 
my rack for the boys. But it was a possibility. Guys that found out- 
unlike Billy- were likely to spread it around, so it wouldn't be a secret. 
But it was a long haul from having this fine set to banking on them. 
Billy's words did make it seem a little silly to try and hide them, 
though.
	He was right about the clean slate thing. Everybody used the 
summer break as an excuse to reinvent themselves. I decided to just be 
me and let the bold bitch out whenever it seemed she was called for.
	I dated a series of guys around the couple of times I dated 
Billy, but no keepers. They were nice enough, but there was no spark. 
I let them get away with about half what they wanted, so the ones with 
the biggest expectations made out the best.
	And as I figured, legends of my rack began to precede me. But 
I was still 15 and that was an image problem for some of the high 
rollers at school. Sure, there were guys that wanted to sneak around on 
the sly for a happy hump, but I wasn't 14 any more. And now that I'd 
dated a few guys I didn't fuck, my 'easy' tag was being edited.
	Greg told me he waited because he was still 'getting over' Kim, 
but I think he was sniffing a few others before gave up his freedom 
again. I wasn't a real bear on that issue, but it was widely considered a 
matter of respect that a guy could only be seriously trying to roll one 
girl at a time.
	It could have been his standard line with the others, too. Maybe 
he stuck with me because I seemed so promising after the first couple 
of dates. I pretty well had it down now. You could squeeze my ass 
while kissing me pretty much anytime, but don't get funny. You could 
get tit off me on a second date if you were casual about it and if I liked 
your style, I might let you under my blouse. By the third date- a real 
dividing line for getting serious, you could pretty much handle me 
anywhere over my clothes, maybe over my panties and probably get 
some bare tit. Fourth date was the monkey wrench. You either were 
frozen back at third date until you got it right or I got friendly with Mr. 
Wiener while you could do pretty much anything that didn't involve 
taking off my clothes- at least not all the way off.
	After that it was officially serious and I started coming across 
with the big stuff- necking topless, hand jobs, finger fucking and 
maybe a blowjob if you made me feel right. Fucking was a delicate 
balance of how much he wanted it and what he had done to make me 
think it would be a good experience.
	Greg knew the drill and was at the top of the class through the 
preliminary dates. He said he didn't want to rush me, and then went as 
far as I'd let him. But he never whined when I stopped him or got 
sullen. I like to think that was because he wanted to be with me and 
didn't mind waiting. Of course it could have been that he had nothing 
better to do.
	I gloss over the rest of our time on dates, not because it was 
meaningless, but because it was typical. Learning what men want by 
first finding out what boys want were the only real lessons I was 
getting.
	And Greg wanted it all. He thought he was clever, playing the 
game and manipulating my feelings until he could get in my pants. I 
don't think he ever once thought that girls could be playing the same 
games, in fact setting the rules he was following. He certainly never 
indicated in any way that he knew I was willing to fuck him, but I was 
going to stall him just for my own pleasure.
	When I finally 'surrendered' I think he assumed he had broken 
down my 'resistance'. Maybe he thought I wanted it, but thought I 
shouldn't or wasn't sure I wanted it, but he talked me into it. He did me 
for my first time in a car. It was his dad's Buick and the back seat was 
pretty big. I was still kind of bunched up and couldn't have helped a lot 
if I had wanted, but Greg liked to be the guy in control. I wondered 
what Kim thought about when he had been doing it to her.
	At least Greg brought his own rubbers and used them out of his 
own noblisse oblige. And he took his time- but I think that was to 
stretch his enjoyment rather than any attempt to satisfy me. He did 
satisfy me from time to time, when I could get aroused enough from 
his slow thrusting to be ready when he made his dash for the finish 
line. But even those times I think he thought I was faking and I don't 
think he cared in any case.
	He was real gracious about it. He stopped short of thanking me 
for giving it up, but he did stress how much it meant to have someone 
'special' to 'share' those moments with. I guess this was his idea of 
appeasing that intimacy thing women wanted. There was no 
connection- no connection at all. It was like I, and all girls, were some 
foreign species and you did your business with them and went back to 
real life.
	He was pretty much a gentleman when we broke up. I just told 
him the lack of spark story and he took it all right. I like to think he 
was a little sad to give me up- he did try a couple of times to ask me 
how we could fix it up and stay together. He even asked me to keep an 
open mind about trying again later. But I think his sense of loss was 
tempered by his chance to claim some new territory and widen his 
swath through the school.
	If he'd been a little more broken up, I was prepared to say 
good-bye with nice sloppy blow-job. But I think I decided that with a 
little devil sitting on my shoulder. Greg had never seemed interested, 
preferring what he could do to me. I think I was thinking payback 
when I thought I would tease him with that new treat the last time we 
had sex.
	But Greg never got sucked off by me. Jason did. Jason was the 
first boy in my own class I dated. I liked guys in my class, but as 
freshmen they were too shy and even as sophomores they labored with 
the transportation problem. You can have a sweet little date when one 
of your moms is driving you around, but it's not very conducive to 
relationships.
	Jason made it easy. We met places close to our houses. Eat at 
fast food restaurants and then go for long walks. Other than Billy, 
Jason was the first guy to make it seem he wanted to be with me. Me, 
not the body, not the social mannequin, but the person. That was nice 
even if the biggest thing we discovered was that we didn't have much 
in common. But we also discovered that wasn't a bad thing and we 
could like each other even if we didn't coincide very much.
	That led to a mutual respect. We didn't just talk to each other, 
we discussed things between ourselves. Except when I held forth on 
dating and social organization or he explained parents and the 
prevailing politics of being a child- our particular areas of expertise. 
We even talked over what kind of sexual things we wanted to get 
involved in.
	That was a real interesting first- for both of us. And I'm not 
talking he asked if he could kiss me and I told him. I asked him what 
kind of things he'd like to do with a girl and he said he was really 
interested in seeing one naked. If I wouldn't mind, he'd like to look at 
girl parts. He wasn't sure what kind of sex stuff he would like. His 
honesty was refreshing- and his best defense.
	I would have been totally disappointed in him if he had tried to 
fake some big experience. It would have been a too obvious lie. His 
kissing alone would give him away. I had to show him how to relax 
and take it slow- having a tongue rammed down your throat wasn't 
exciting. But when he tried it without panicking, he got the concept 
quick.
	Give and take he was good at- when I made him feel like he 
had an equal footing. I thought that would make him a very fine lover, 
but he wasn't quite ready for that yet. He still had to learn the playing 
field. And that was really what he wanted. He wasn't after some thrill 
of taking my clothes off me. He just wanted to look and he was really 
happy I didn't mind letting him. Since our meetings tended to be in the 
open, I didn't get naked. I would pull up my top for him to look or lift 
up a skirt. One general area at a time and showing that in a way that 
was easy to cover quickly.
	I let him look as much as he wanted and then finally told him 
he could touch if he wanted. He said he didn't know how to touch them 
and I said, not like that. I meant, you know, feel what they're like- 
explore things and all. He said, oh.
	I thought the whole process was pretty radical- but very 
practical. It was kind of weird being examined like a lab rat, but it was 
like being worshipped at the same time. I let him look everywhere he 
wanted- pull open my vagina, feel the resilience of the lips, identify my 
clitoris. When he was looking at my breasts, the best moment of the 
whole examination came in his look of wonder as the nipple he was 
touching came erect under his finger. However he came to me, he 
knew the topography of a woman by the time we were through.
	I demanded equal opportunity. I had done extensive 
examinations before, of course, but it didn't seem fair to show him 
mine without seeing his. But I only got to look at his penis in the active 
mode, since showing it to me aroused him.
	That gave me the idea that I might be able to make his eyes pop 
out of his head if I gave him a blowjob. When I suggested putting my 
mouth on him, he demurred. He wasn't ready for that concept yet.
	But he remembered it and asked me about it later. He knew I 
couldn't tell him how it would feel for him, but he wanted to know 
what it was like for me. Did I really like it? Did it excite me? 
	I told him the upsides and the downsides of blowjobs and again 
asked him if he'd like to try one. He finally gave in, but he said a thing 
that touched me. He told me he wanted to make it special. And he 
didn't want it to be a lesson, he wanted us to mean it.
	We set it up as a special date at a real restaurant and then went 
back to his house. His parents would be out and we'd be in the 
basement out of the way. Jason was a little more polite that night, not 
stiff, but kind of formal. When we slouched on the couch together, he 
told me that I was the best girl he had ever known and he'd had more 
fun with me than with a girl ever. He didn't think he loved me, but he 
didn't think loving me would mean as much as the kind of friendship 
we had. In the years past, I've thought on that strangely stated 
sentiment and found no better way to explain how some friendships are 
just more binding than mere love.
	I also think Jason was wrong. He may not have felt the giddy, 
silly love that was foisted off through television and movie propaganda, 
but I think we did love each other in the more serene sense of baring 
our vulnerabilities because we knew we could trust and be understood.
	Lord knows I melted at the sentiment. Jason had made me 
really want him. And this wanting was beyond the sexual. I wanted to 
freeze the happiness and merge with him at the same time. I guess 
that was the first time I understood sex as something other than an end 
in itself- as a poor representation of an urge to more truly merge.
	I felt like I was attacking him when I kissed him, but he held 
his own in level of passion. I felt like I was molesting him, but his 
response was as frantic as mine. This time his touching was to arouse 
me and this time he was getting a sexual pleasure from taking my 
clothes off me. The way we were going, I thought Jason might give it 
all up and have sex with me. We did reach a mutual nudity in a short 
space of time, but that may have been from our relative feeling of 
security.
	Even if we strayed to the far side of the basement, the lights of 
his parent's car would alert us in plenty of time to be dressed before 
they could get halfway across the kitchen, let alone to the basement 
steps and down. It was that closeness we felt, Jason said, that let him 
feel comfortable lying on the couch with us both naked. With or 
without clothes I was the same friend and he didn't feel threatened.
	But he would feel pressured if he had to try and have sex with 
me. He wasn't sure he was ready for that, but he was ready to explore 
me with prurient intent. He didn't say 'prurient intent' of course, but that 
was his meaning. The last time he was learning. This time he wanted to 
touch me for effect.
	I could see this as a progression and I knew what he meant 
about sex being a leap. Parents made it out to be such a big thing and 
that might be best to conquer a little at a time. And his blowjob was 
going to be enough to digest this time. If he got a little experience in 
pleasing a woman on top of it, it would be a full night.
 	He was certainly an interested and apt student. He did trust me 
and coupled with his total lack of loathing for the female body it led to 
a pretty good evening for me. He wasn't Billy in the oral sex 
department, but he was eager and that made it heartwarming- if not 
quite as hot elsewhere. And he wanted to work alone under my 
direction. I think women in general like to lay back and be pleasured, 
just like men do. I certainly felt special or queenly or something as he 
lay between my legs and licked my pussy.
	I may not have been able to cum like gangbusters because I had 
to keep instructing him, but Jason did give me the need. I was wet and 
wide and would have fucked just about anyone at that point. Jason got 
the result of that enthusiasm.
	I made him sit up and knelt between his knees because I think 
you can give the best head like that. Guys will crank their butts around 
to every position you need if it comes to that. And it gives me the 
freedom to move and turn without having to cramp myself in an 
awkward position or get a crick in my neck.
	Jason thought he was going to cum when my mouth first 
covered him. I took it as a compliment, but I knew he'd feel like he 
was going to cum a lot of times before they all ran together in a 
constant need that would then finally top out much later than he 
thought, much earlier than he hoped. I was sensitive to his trigger. I 
took it real slow starting out, sucking a little, sucking more, finally 
sucking it all. When I let him absorb all those sensations, I licked him 
under the head and talked to him a little bit. I told him I wanted it to 
last so I could let him feel a lot of different tricks. I explained the only 
point was sucking it in and bobbing up and down until he came, but if I 
added some of the other stuff it made the process more of a 
cooperation and more of an event.
	I don't think he was listening. He may have filed it to digest 
later, but this cocksucking thing had him beyond mental processes. I 
licked his balls while I jerked him off slowly and I sucked the head 
while I ran my fingers up and down his shaft. I put my lips around him 
sideways like an ear of corn and fucked one side at a time. I wriggled 
my tongue in little circles along the underside of his cock to slow him 
up a little, but I was up against a novice with a need that was increased 
no matter what I did. I sucked him down a few more times and then 
licked around the head before I suggested that he fuck my mouth.
	Some guys like to have it taken out of them and some like to 
deliver the mail. I figured I had one chance with Jason, but I also knew 
I had given him a sample of me doing it. He was timid at first, barely 
moving forward and back. I cured him by demonstration. When he 
made his baby thrust, I swooped down and took him all and then 
pulled back as he pulled back. He got the message, but never did test 
my limit. I supposed he was getting what he needed and let him alone 
when he was pushing at least half of his prick in and out of my greedy 
mouth.
	Then he stopped and trembled. What a nice guy. I told him that 
it was okay. I knew what I was doing and it was all right for him to 
shoot off. I sucked him some more and the shaking increased, but he 
still didn't resume his thrusting. I asked if he'd like me to take over now 
and he stopped shaking just long enough to nod enthusiastically. His 
orgasm (impending) had given him vapor lock. He was so near he 
couldn't make himself move. He might get over that with experience- 
or not, I didn't care. I had a cock to suck and a virgin load to swallow.
	For someone so obviously on the edge, he survived being 
swallowed to the root quite a few times. But when I sensed he was 
actually going to cum, I pulled back and worked him hard to make it 
an ejaculation that he would not only remember forever, but have a 
hard time topping in his life. When the first spasm filled my mouth, I 
dove down to suck at the base of his cock. He shook and jerked as I 
bobbed short and deep and fought the gagging and nausea his continued 
spewing was triggering. I gave him some full length sucking as he 
trailed off into puppy sounds and then pulled back to lightly run my 
tongue around his knob inside my mouth as I swallowed a few extra 
times to clear my throat.
	I closed down on him so his cock would leave my mouth with 
a wet pop and then looked up at him still cradling the shrinking organ 
in my hand. I might have been an angel for the look of grateful serenity 
and peace on his face. I bet he was in love with me then.
	I didn't let him scramble into his clothes and we sat together on 
the couch holding each other's naked bodies and practicing our kissing. 
We dressed when we had cooled off in both senses and talked for a 
while before he walked me home.
	I came to know what Jason meant about the not being in love 
thing, however. He had seen juvenile passions cool and then the couple 
was pretty much forced to stop seeing each other. They said they were 
friends, but that usually meant they weren't mad about the break up. 
They still couldn't see each other, really. And the love thing was about 
mystery and unraveling the unknown. Once that was over it there was 
nothing but for the passion to cool.
	He was smart for a 15-year-old. I could see my relationships in 
there- except for the passion part. I had been pretty cold-blooded about 
wanting something and getting it and moving on. But that part about 
being trapped by a break-up fit me and Billy, too. Not in every sense, 
of course, but the fact we had to keep our friendship alive in secret 
proved the point. Jason said we were pretty much close to the line, 
because he felt deep emotions about me, but they were person 
emotions and not wrapped up in the sex stuff. And we'd unwrapped 
mysteries, but- except for that once- they were total sex mysteries- as 
in the total female sex and not personal.
	Jason had a way of saying things that could piss you off if you 
weren't trying to follow him, but I guess it was part of that friend thing 
he kept talking about that I was trying to see his meaning rather than 
taking offense at his way of expressing it. But even giving him that, it 
sounded like he was breaking up. I asked him right out.
	He said he was trying to say we were never going together so 
we couldn't- didn't have to break up. We could stay as this close-knit 
pair, but he was thinking about asking another girl out on a date. We 
had to talk about that because of our teenage obsession with rules and 
in the course of that talk, he calmed me down about giving him the 
tools to use on another girl.
	I guess I still get huffy too quick, and that was my problem 
with Jason. I really did have the same emotions as he, I just didn't 
separate them objectively as well. And I hadn't given it as much 
thought. No, I didn't want to marry Jason, I was reacting like a child 
that sees another child playing with its toy. And I wasn't thinking about 
the toys I could play with at the same time. But I will tell you it is 
confusing.
	Since it was nothing official with Jason, and, more importantly, 
we never went to school functions together, I was seen as still on the 
market. That was when William H. Huntley III called. He was from a 
family richer than Eric's and he: wished to inquire if it would be 
convenient to meet with him, as a time to become somewhat familiar 
with each other's dislikes and habits, preceding his intention to escort 
me to the Thanksgiving affair at school. If such an invitation did not 
offend me, of course.
	Whew. I gathered he wanted to meet me before we went to the 
school dance and was asking if I wanted to go in his own backward 
way. Why, sure. I couldn't think of anything wrong with dating a rich 
kid- other than that language problem. I didn't even care that his 
probable interest was my bust size. And I liked the 'find out what to 
expect' meeting ahead of time.
	I went to his house in his car. It was driven by his driver. I was 
met by the family's 'man' and escorted to a drawing room to wait. 
Veddy veddy proper, it was. I was expecting William to be dressed in 
a blazer and a beanie, but he looked normal, if a little irritated. He told 
me with a wry look that his mother was standing behind him when he 
called, prompting in that little speech. They wanted to meet the girl he 
was taking to the dance.
	I asked if he thought I'd do and he looked me over and passed 
me. I hadn't taken any unusual care in dressing and I still didn't use 
makeup, but I had put on one of my nicer little girl style dresses. I 
asked him if I had to curtsey or wear gloves or anything and he 
laughed. The meeting with his mother was a little stiff, but came off 
pretty well. His father was a scream. He treated me like a little girl a 
little too much, but he seemed much more the regular guy than 
William's mother.
	He told me that I was sharp. His dad did try to act the regular 
guy even if he had gone to all the proper private schools and colleges 
and could be as stuffy as anyone if he wanted. His mother thought she 
would lose her standing if she didn't act her status every moment. 
(Except she snores, William told me in an aside that I could only take 
as one of the deepest family secrets.) He just didn't know whether he 
wanted to be a part of the upper crust or not. It wasn't like he was 
rebelling, he just wanted to try it out for himself and see how it fit 
without his mother hovering over him at every turn. That was why he 
was in public school in the first place. Oh well, breeding will tell, he 
said his mother sighed when they made the decision, but she didn't 
think it could hurt to give the breeding little shoves in the right 
direction.
	Then I hit him with the big question. Why me? He wasn't ready 
for that one. I told him I wasn't saying I wasn't happy, I just wondered 
what attracted him to me. If I didn't think it'd be fun, I would have said 
no. He still hesitated and I asked if it was my tits. He busted up over 
me saying 'tits' and admitted they had attracted his notice on more than 
one occasion. But it was something deeper, but related, he said. I had 
hit on it all ready. I was the 'sort' who could say no and if I said yes, he 
wouldn't feel he was imposing.
	Heavy hangs the crown, I thought. But then I thought it was 
pretty smart and he didn't have to mention that he didn't think I was a 
money-grubber. So I opened the can with the sex in it.
	He told me I had it backwards. He wasn't looking for me to 
conform to his family's standards. He wanted me to treat him like any 
other guy. He certainly found me very attractive, but he had no idea 
how far he could get with me. I told him he had the wrong friends, 
because 'scouting reports' were available on just about every girl in the 
school.
	He turned that on me, asking what he'd hear about me. Widely 
varying reports, I said, there are rumors I've gone all the way, but some 
of the guys claiming that have never been seen with me and some that 
have been seen with me won't talk. I hear I'm pretty hot, I told him, but 
what that means usually has to do with the experience of the guy 
saying it.
	He asked if I was easy and I said: sure! all the girls are based 
on the guys' reports. He said, no really- and I laughed at him. I told 
him a certain amount of openness was refreshing, but it wasn't the same 
without the mystery. He'd have to do to find out. I hoped I was coming 
off as slippery and sure of myself rather than brash, brazen and bitchy, 
but William wasn't exactly clueless.
	It stood to reason that a kid that rich would have no trouble 
getting adoring girls- girls that would do whatever he let them to try 
and turn his head. I was pretty sure he had the mechanics down, he was 
just adjusting to new rules of play- like moving to the NFL from 
Canadian football. But even after we had discussed the ground rules in 
the new league, I had the feeling he was waiting for me to make the 
first move. Ha.
	I had hormones on my side. I didn't know how deep breeding 
could bury them, but he was a teenager and I knew you couldn't stop 
them, you could only hope to contain them. Not that I didn't keep my 
cologne in his nose and keep swaying against him as we walked to 
prime the pump.
	He did choose a pretty romantic setting in the garden behind his 
home to kiss me the first time. And he was all I could want in the self-
assured male department. He pulled me easily into his arms and swept 
away a lock of hair as he looked in my eyes. Then he bent naturally 
and kissed me. It was a little practiced, but it was nice to have 
someone so smooth- and accurate. His lips on mine was actually the 
first contact and he left them there a moment before they parted and 
opened mine beneath them.
	He was a regular kisser. A good kisser, but no personal flair or 
excess of passion. It was a good starting kiss, but not one that instantly 
made me ache for his body inside mine. Maybe he started slowly or 
maybe this kiss was an exploratory one before the real one like our 
meeting before our actual date.
	He hugged me pretty warmly, but he didn't try to grope my tits. 
I guess he was as good with the mystery as I was. I left his place still 
wondering what he was going to expect after our date.
	For my part, I set him no limit. But I wasn't granting him any 
prize, either. I wasn't going to tear off my clothes and his and pull him 
down on me. He was going to have to earn everything he got from me. 
I was pretty comprehensive in my acceptance of techniques, but he'd 
have to do something to get anything off me.
	He was a perfect- and I mean flawless- gentleman at the dance. 
Proper-just so- but with an easy manner. He was friendly to me but we 
weren't getting to know each other. He saved that for later.
	Do you like that, he asked as he got his first handful of my 
breasts. Do you like it like this? he asked as he pressed his finger 
firmly in the cleft of my pussy. Or is this better? he questioned as he 
lightly stroked my clit.
	It wasn't exactly my favorite foods or colors, but it was some 
personal information we were exchanging. I was amused with the 
verbal level of his lovemaking. I hadn't asked him a thing and I'm sure 
he was enjoying the way I was kneading the lump in his pants as much 
as I was enjoying his finger.
	Then again, it wasn't as though they were questions of 
permission. He didn't ask if he could slip his hand into my pants. He 
asked if I liked to have a finger inside me. He didn't ask to push my bra 
out of the way. He asked if I would like him to bite my nipples harder. 
By the time I realized that, he was well on his way to quizzing me 
naked.
	We were laying on a padded chaise lounge in a dark corner of 
the pool in the back yard and he abruptly looked up from where he had 
been sucking on my nipples and asked if I'd like to go for a swim. I 
guess he had discerned that we were going to fuck and thought that 
would be an easy way for us to get mutually naked before we got back 
to business.
	Since I had discerned the same outcome to the evening, I 
thought to myself, why not? But first he would have to take his finger 
out of my pussy. When I agreed, he did remove his finger and I sat up 
to undress. The swim also had the benefit of giving us an excuse to 
fold our clothes carefully out of the way so they would not be mussed 
by our coupling. Given his careful correctness, I suspect that held a 
charm for him as well.
	 The night was cool and made the water seem warmer, 
especially when we were wet. But it still was not warm enough to 
make our naked hugs neck deep in it really sexy. William was aroused 
but he must have sensed I was not. Perhaps that spoiled a plan to take 
me in the water, I don't know. Instead, we stayed in the water only a 
few moments before climbing out again and returning naked to the 
chaise.
	He told me he was glad I was his date and he didn't think the 
night could have been any better. Then he fucked me competently and 
with a great deal of tenderness. He didn't want to get dressed right 
after, so we lay naked together on the chaise, covered by a huge beach 
towel.
	That was the best part. Laying together and exchanging small 
talk made me feel very much a woman. William was so old for his 
years and we were casually talking, still naked, like we had the right to 
be ourselves.
	I knew it wouldn't last and truly wouldn't miss being a part of 
the stiff, ordered life that William had to lead. He was nice about it, 
though, telling me his parents, even his father, didn't think his getting 
involved with one girl at a public high school was a good idea. We did 
remain acquaintances, which I think was as close to friends as William 
ever had. 
	But now I was a marked woman. Even Terri seemed a little 
more distant as she reacted to the confusion of the other girls. They 
didn't know how to take me. I had been the 14-year-old slut choice of 
the jock elite. Then I developed into real competition as my chest grew 
and now I had been with the richest kid in town. Still I hadn't tried to 
take a place among the social leaders and I didn't even run with their 
clique.
	But the boys didn't see me as a loose cannon. They saw me as 
unapproachable. I was going to have to hunt all the harder as I became 
more of a catch. I found that so weird. On the other hand I found it so 
easy. Guys were becoming afraid I'd ask them because now they were 
afraid to say no.
	In the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas that year I 
was a nun. Even Billy was too busy to trade a mutual munch in those 
weeks and I didn't know what I was going to do. The break was okay, 
but the timing was bad. The holiday vacation would be a long time to 
go without having anywhere to go.
	I guess other 15-year-olds make it months without dates, but I 
was beginning to panic a little when Christmas vacation came up with 
no prospects in sight. I was thinking about grabbing the first 
sophomore that came along, but fortunately my good sense prevailed. I 
wasn't thinking about it as good sense then, but it worked out.
	I would have had a lousy vacation anyway. My mother had 
invited her brother and family to visit for Christmas. I wasn't going to 
be able to get away even if I had someone to get away with. I was 
looking at it as the ultimate bummer until Uncle Gill arrived.
	Somehow you never think of relatives as aging. I remembered 
Todd and Josh as squirrely little kids. Now Todd was 16 and Josh was 
15, four months younger than me. And they weren't so squirrely any 
more. 
	I bet you're guessing I had a great time screwing my cousins all 
through the visit, and you're right. With Todd having his license, it was 
easy and both our families were glad we were getting along so well 
together. They just didn't know how well we got along.
	When I got back to school, another chapter had been added to 
my legend by a couple of girls that had seen me with my cousins. Now 
she's taking them on in bunches. No one man is enough, went the story.
	I was seriously considering that- organizing some team party 
gang bang as a couple of more weeks went by without male attention. 
Then another Todd showed up, no relation. He was a junior, but not 
one of the jocks at school. Just a nice, normal guy not into anything 
very heavy. He said he had started out in school joining everything and 
then just lost interest.
	More likely, he had fallen in with the dope smokers and didn't 
like adult supervision any more. Terri found out about his rep after he 
asked me out. He didn't impress me as a doper, and he didn't try to get 
me high. So I asked him right out. 
	He said, sure, he smoked dope, but he wasn't that into it 
anymore, either. The guy was just coasting, waiting for something to 
grab him that he could get into and then not find boring. I guess sex 
would have fit that category for him, but sex isn't a job description. 
	He was a good guy, though and eventually did get into 
aeronautics in a big way. That was nice, because he wasn't lazy, just 
rudderless. And that wasn't for lack of searching. He had given a lot of 
things a try, including in the sex department. He was the second guy to 
ever put a dick in my ass.
	It was my suggestion, I guess. I was the one that was putting 
on my 'bored with the same old thing' act to balance his own apathy. 
He asked if I had tried it and I told him, of course. Then I felt kind of 
trapped to go through with it again. But this time it was better. Todd 
knew what he was doing.
	He was only timid about suggesting that I try marijuana as a 
way of relaxing. He had no reason to be so careful. I had long since 
come to the conclusion that dope was pretty harmless. I knew there 
was a strong correlation between dope smokers and sluggish, stupid 
behavior, but I had concluded it was more the fault of the smokers than 
the weed.
	After all, Todd wasn't that way. If he could take it or leave it, I 
certainly could. I'm just glad I was comfortable with Todd before I 
went into the smoky dreamworld. Everything seemed to loom larger 
after I smoked the joint and though I may have been more relaxed, I 
didn't feel that way. It would have been easy to panic if I had tried to 
act on the wave of paranoia that ate at the corners of my mind because 
of my prime inability to act in my stuporous state.
	Todd quickly got my mind off such musings by tugging at my 
clothes. Another reason for Todd's lack of direction might have been 
his lack of supervision. He was undressing me with no fear since his 
parents were never home. It wasn't the first time he had seen my body, 
but it was the first time he had rolled me naked on his own bed.
	I was relaxed when he pulled off his own clothes and cuddled 
up to me. Kissing seemed to take me to a new land. He stroked and 
kissed me so far into that dreamscape that I had forgotten our purpose 
when he rolled me on my tummy. Even his dick resting in the valley 
between my cheeks as he lay over me to kiss the back of my neck 
didn't alert me. 
	It only came back to me as he pulled at my hips and told me it 
would be much too tight and much too deep unless I got to my knees. 
He did nothing to quiet the swirling fears and questions in my head 
when he rubbed a slippery finger over my anus. Robbie hadn't been 
considerate enough to lubricate my asshole and I didn't know what he 
was doing. It did feel very interesting when he pushed the tip of his 
finger into my ass to rub the lubricant inside.
	I remember thinking that it was a shame his dick was so much 
bigger than that finger because it felt pretty nice. On the heels of that 
thought came Todd's instructions to get ready and push my ass up in 
the air as high as I could. He had me reach back and spread my 
buttcheeks with my hands and then he put his dick against my 
sphincter.
	I was still bracing for the pain as his glans opened the ring of 
muscle and popped inside. I was so amazed at the ease with which he 
penetrated me that he slipped halfway in before I recovered. I must 
have jerked back to awareness because he asked if he was hurting me. 
I encouraged him to go on. I was pretty full, but I didn't want him to 
stop because I had just realized what Robbie had done to me. I felt 
constipated when he finished pushing his dick up my ass, but his entry 
had been one of discomfort, not pain.
	And as he rocked slowly, barely moving, most of the 
discomfort went away. I was so totally my asshole at that time, I could 
feel my whole being expand as my asshole adjusted to the cock 
invading it. And my being felt pretty good. With the pain removed. 
having something that big forced in my tiniest hole was pretty 
stimulating. It just got better as he felt my ass relax and began pumping 
in and out of me.
	Pretty soon I wanted more. Remembering what he had said as 
he lifted me up, I started to slide back down to the bed. He was right. 
He went very deep and as my legs closed so he could straddle me 
easier, I became very tight. He liked it and transferred that enthusiasm 
to me by fucking me harder and faster. But even when he used his 
weight to pound his dick as deep as he could drive it, I felt only an 
exhilaration. It was not exactly sexual, but somehow related.
	Whatever my drug-dream had me thinking, I knew I was 
enjoying it. It went beyond merely not hurting right to stimulating. I 
told Todd I liked it and he told me he was coming. That was an 
interesting sensation of its own as was feeling the fluid seep from me 
when Todd and I were back to hugging on his bed.
	Even though I liked it, Todd and I never got around to having 
anal sex again. We only got high one more time and had one of the 
longest sex sessions of my life because we kept breaking out in giggles 
every time we were getting into it.
	Then Todd drifted away from me, too. I noticed more dopers 
eyeing me after that, but I really didn't want to hang with that crowd. 
But it was spring and a girl with a reputation and a nice chest wasn't 
going to be lonely long. Dick tried to whirlwind romance me in a high 
school idiom- notes in my locker, calls every night, longing looks 
when we talked. So I did him.
	He wanted a high school romance. I gave him a high school 
fuck. He was torn between terror and lust when I pulled off my 
sweater at the back of the stage. Lust won. He didn't want to do more 
than pull down his pants, but I got naked. I pulled him down on a pile 
of curtains that were draped over a riser back in the dark and he forgot 
that classes would be changing just a few feet away in a few minutes.
	Dick's dick wasn't hesitating when I rolled the rubber on it and I 
was ready enough from the excitement of having sex there in school. I 
pulled him into me and he pumped into me furiously for a minute or 
two. Even though he came, I don't think he felt it until we were 
hugging safely clothed again. 
	But he did like it. I never even went out with him, but I did 
fuck him in the pool room and on the stage again. It was an interesting 
spring. Kevin became the flame he hoped would last the summer 
through.
	I subjected Kevin to most of the ritual stages of dating, but I 
broke down and blew him on the third date. After that, it was hard to 
convince him to screw me. He knew he had to sometimes, but he tried 
to stretch those times thin as he stuffed as many blow jobs between 
them as he thought he dared. If he would have eaten me out in return, I 
think I could have lived with it. Given the confines of his car, where 
we carried out our sexual gropings, mutual oral sex would have been a 
good alternative. But if I wanted any release at all, I had to make him 
scrunch me up in the back seat and fuck me.
	When I got my license, Kevin was history. It wasn't so much I 
was free, but that I could be. My parents were pretty tough about 
lending the car and I knew I didn't dare fuck in it. But on special 
occasions, I could get places on my own.
	So I turned around and started going out with Tom. I admit I 
played Tom like a fish, but, hey, I could be hunting on my own- in a 
perfect world. Perhaps it was a little revenge for not having my own 
car or negligent or understanding parents. Anyway, I made Tom grovel 
for everything he got. Not literally, but he had to please me before I 
would do anything for him. Of course I'm not talking shallow tokens 
like gifts, flowers, compliments or even entreaties, I mean I got hot or 
he didn't.
	I made him wait to touch me and I wouldn't do anything until 
he had touched me enough. By the time I pushed his head down 
between my legs and told him to lick it, he was eager. He knew this 
new intimacy was going to get him something pretty good. I left it 
open and he fucked me for the first time that night. I didn't suck him 
off for almost a month because he never brought it up.
	After the first one, he told me he didn't know if I did things like 
that. I told him as long as he got me off, I didn't care how he wanted 
me to get him off. From there on we split screwing and sucking pretty 
evenly. That was pretty good because Tom could rarely make me 
come by screwing me alone.
	Hmmmm. That must be some Freudian thing. I had 
contemplated it in moments of extreme hornyness almost a year before, 
but being screwed in any way but alone was only a faint dream then. 
With Tom it came true. I still have trouble thinking of Tom as anything 
but the wimp for all seasons, but he asked me one night what I thought 
about having more than one guy. 
	He was good about it, bringing it up as a topic of relaxed after-
sex conversation. He picked up on everything positive I said about it 
and then worked those angles on successive nights. From a sex 
standpoint it was interesting, but I feared social disaster. When Tom 
finally made me express my fears, he asked me if I would feel the 
same if it were guys that didn't know me.
	By now I knew I was slipping down a long, greased tube and 
lobbied for at least a veto when these guys showed up. Tom said he 
could do better than that and show them to me before I gave a final 
okay. I don't think they knew why I was there, because I didn't get that 
'meat in the showcase' feeling. But they were all right guys and they 
seemed to like me.
	We confirmed that four days later when we met in a motel 
room out by the highway. Not one of them said he didn't like me either 
before or after he had stuck his dick into me. I guess apprehension 
about the way it would be perceived has dampened my feeling for that 
night because it was pretty exciting. Five guys fucked me and I must 
have come four times while they were doing it. They even ate me after 
they had washed me out and in general treated me like a prize 
possession. One of them even had the presence of mind to lube me 
with jelly constantly as the guys proceeded to fuck me most of the 
night.
	It was an experience. I'm sure the guys are more proud than I 
am, but it was another thing I could scratch out of my to-do book. And 
it was a positive experience even through the - well, I'm not that sore- 
soreness of the next day.
	Tom knew he wouldn't last the blazing beginning to my junior 
year, and he faded away after jamming as much sex as he could into 
our last couple of weeks. That left me primed for the new year in many 
senses. I knew this would be a big year. Billy had been right about my 
bosom. It had been swelling slowly and after the summer vacation I 
was going to suddenly be a big girl in the eyes of my peers.
	And with my new dimensions came new tricks. I was right 
about the heads turning when I walked down the halls with my new 
'improved' chest. It had moved me to more than a higher ranking. It had 
moved me into a new class. I wasn't a compact anymore. I was a full-
size, on my way to luxury model. I had my pick of the guys for once.
	I guess I did all right taking Ed. I had long ago gave up on 
picking guys for status. I remembered what a dweeb Willie was and 
my time with Eric. I wanted human qualities and whatever vibe I could 
detect of sexual proficiency. Ed was polite, if a bit quiet. The only 
indication he might be good in bed was that he was 6'4" and I hoped 
that would hold true all over.
	You might detect a lack of enthusiasm about Ed. But there is 
also a lack of  regret. Ed was just medium. (That went for my hopes 
about his dick size, too) But he did baptize me into my new full-size 
classification with the sacred ritual of the pearl necklace.
	At 6'4", he was not a car lover. But he was a senior and always 
seemed to be able to find a place where we could be alone together. I 
went to a lot of parties with Ed and we seemed to end up screwing in 
someone's bedroom a lot. One night we thought someone was going to 
walk in on us and ended up on the floor, hiding behind the bed.
	When the threat retreated, we climbed back up on the bed and 
Ed looked down at me and smiled. He bent down and licked all over 
my chest, getting me wet between my breasts. Then he straddled me 
and put his cock where he had been licking. He took my hands and had 
me close my breasts over his dick and then he leaned over and put his 
hands beside my head and fucked my tits.
	It took me a minute to grasp what was going on. By that time 
Ed seemed to be having such a good time, I decided to watch. It was 
mildly stimulating but it would never substitute for having my pussy 
licked. I think I appreciated my tits being wet the most. He moved 
easily between my breasts and then he got ready to cum. The first spurt 
flew up onto my face and then I could feel his hot seed hit me under 
the chin as he finished cumming on my chest. He told me about the 
string of pearls thing then and I thought it was really stupid, but 
probably the best excuse you could make for cumming on a woman's 
chest.
	Ed didn't prefer it or anything, but from time to time, and for 
various reasons, he would climb over me and fuck my tits. I learned to 
lick the head of his dick when he pushed it up to me and trained Ed to 
let me suck the head of his dick when he was cumming. It kind of 
negated the nick-name, but all in all, I think we both liked it better.
	Because we did it in beds more than any other guy I had been 
with, Ed and I also explored a real range of sexual positions. Ed 
favored positions that would allow him to be in more or less a sitting 
position and I found myself twirled this way and that, on my back, on 
my belly, on my side to bring me to his cock in that position.
	And I don't complain, because Ed knew himself. Jerking back 
and forth with his legs doubled under him came naturally to him. He 
could do it for long stretches, even sheathed in a nice wet, hot pussy 
like mine. That meant that I came more often than not in those 
positions and only catch as catch can in any other way.
	Ed was memorable for one other thing. He was the first boy I 
was cheating on. That doesn't count Billy because I always had Billy 
and I didn't count him as cheating. But there was this kid in my 
neighborhood that went to Catholic school. He was always on me 
about my 'big bazooms' and when I'd hold them against him.
	It wasn't like a romance thing, it was one of those rivalry 
things. It was a back-yard rivalry with a little battle of the sexes thrown 
in. I wasn't even thinking about Ed as I traded insults with the kid. It 
wasn't like I was going to date the kid. We just got around to the 
question of who did and who could and can you prove it.
	I admit I helped him bring the subject around to a sexual dare. 
As we traded cat-calls and names, I was getting a little hot. Some of 
the things he alleged about me turned me on. And I figured I could 
shame him if I got him into a real sexual situation. There was no way 
he could have as much experience as me.
	It turned out he didn't mind being shamed if it meant he got to 
see mine. It was dark in the shed. (The nearly identical shed in his 
yard, not mine.) He had to get right between my legs to peer into my 
pussy, but he accomplished that by volunteering to suck my twat. He 
was mechanical, but there was no containing his enthusiasm. He rooted 
right in and slobbered all over me eagerly until I couldn't help myself. 
Even then he didn't pause, and threatened to lick me right through one 
orgasm into the next.
	I toyed with the idea of seeing how long he would keep it up 
well past my climax, but then I decided I was establishing no 
advantage by letting him eat me until I died from cumming. I pulled 
him up by the hair and told him it was time for him to show me his 
stuff. He got his dick into me pretty easily, but then I imagine just 
rubbing a hardon between my sopping pussylips would have resulted in 
slipping into my hole at that point.
	I was so wet and wide I barely noticed his dick. His belly 
bumping on my crotch did me some good, but I think it was the 
obscene sucking sounds his cock were making as he pumped in and 
out of my pussy that made me cum. I know he came just before me 
even if he tried to disguise it. He kept pumping on, however, for some 
time after, but if he was trying to fuck into another erection, he fell 
short.
	When he conceded defeat, I offered to blow him. We weren't 
fighting anymore. I think we were willing to let it go now. I kneeled 
next to him while he lay on his back to blow him. He liked that 
because the whole point for him had been to play with my tits. He 
hadn't been able to with his face in my crotch and I gave him no rest 
between that and fucking me. So he had what could be called a 
complete sexual encounter without once getting to do what he was 
there for.
	He got plenty of tit-playing as I took my time sucking him off. 
When I made him cum, he whooped his head off so loud I thought 
someone would investigate. We met in the shed a few more times until 
I got bored with his obsession with my breasts. 
	Afternoons I was getting tit massages and evenings I was being 
twirled around the squatting cock. From the being the queen of sex 
angle, it was a good time. On every other count, it was a little too 
much sex at the cost of the rest of my life.
	I like sex. I think I'm making that obvious. But I like other 
things too. I mean, fucking all day and all night doesn't leave much 
time to wash your hair.
	It was ironic that Ed accused me of cheating with Gary. He 
must have felt vindicated when I started going with Gary. It was okay 
that Ed felt vindicated. After all, I had been cheating on him, just not 
with Gary. And that was the interesting thing about Gary.
	We fucked once a week. He'd lick me and have me suck him as 
foreplay and then we'd fuck. Satisfying, but a routine that was easy to 
look for more from. We had a few laughs when it wasn't sex night, but 
that was it. If we have to assign blame, I come in for as much as Gary, 
since I couldn't think of anything new to spice up our lives either.
	It was getting hard to believe there were new horizons to 
conquer. I had been fucked in every opening and between the tits. I had 
old guys, young guys, multiple guys. I had been twisted into every 
position imaginable. I just couldn't imagine there was any more than 
that.
	Kids are silly that way. I had yet to try the major variation that 
was right under my nose.
	I'm sure neither of us knows when we turned the corner. It was 
either when Terri pushed her crotch in my face or when I bit it. But that 
moment in time was the crux. It was so natural after that watershed 
moment for me to crawl over her head and each of us start gnawing on 
each other's femininity.
	It had started out in an innocent wrestling match at a sleep-over. 
Then she arched and I bit, playfully, and we started out in a whole new 
direction. Once we had our faces in each other's crotches, there was no 
hesitation. We licked panties, pulled panties off and licked bare 
pussies. She slid fingers into me and I slid fingers into her. We came. 
We came again. And when we rolled away exhausted, we giggled.
	There was no looking back. For my part, I was glad Terri had 
no uncertainty about what we had done. I looked at it as opening the 
door on a new land to conquer. It got us off. What could be wrong 
with that? 
	We kept up with our respective boyfriends. I was in the waning 
weeks of Gary and Terri was still- 16 months!- going with Mike. We 
found time between dates to be together. And we pushed the envelope. 
I might be the one with the experience, Terri, for instance, had never 
even been fucked in the ass, but Terri was the one with the information.
	She got us a dildo and later came up with the holder for it so 
we could pretend to be boys and fuck each other like our boyfriends 
fucked us. Looking back, I wonder how she missed the double dildo. 
But we carried on in new and devious ways, in what was an oasis in a 
desert of samness for me.
	And having once been proved wrong when I thought I had done 
it all, I knew better that to think there would ever be a cap on novel 
ways to enjoy sex. I just had to be open for opportunity. And by 
unleashing Terri, it seemed I had uncorked opportunity.
	She told and showed me pictures of bondage, which looked hot 
and S&M, which turned me off. There were various fetishes, which I 
figured you had to be there for and exhibitionism. And then all those 
things concerning bodily secretions other than the sex ones. It sure was 
a wilder world than even I had imagined. 
	The proof of that came when Terri started asking me if I'd ever 
considered having a girl and a boy at the same time. I knew her too 
well to think this was some idle chat. I thought she was thinking of 
doing it herself. As it turned out, I was right, but she was thinking of 
me being the one that would be doing it with her.
	I guess it had never occured to me that Mike might actually be 
a sexual entity. Sure Terri told me about their sex lives, but it always 
sounded tamer than mine. I thought of Mike as some steady kind of 
guy that Terri stayed with because he was convenient. It never occured 
to me that he and Terri stayed together because they had a similiar bent 
of mind. After I was confronted with it, it made sense that they would 
both be researchers.
	And now they had gathered enough facts to want to be doers as 
well as knowers. 
	Terri maintained that the idea just grew. I have to believe her, 
because she only sticks to stories that are true. After we had our girl-
girl action, it kept popping into her head while she was screwing Mike. 
What I could be doing and she could be doing as Mike was pumping 
away. She talked about it in a general way with him and he added 
ideas in a way that made Terri think he might like to actually try it.
	As far as jealousy went, Terri explained it to me this way. How 
can I be jealous of Mike or you fucking what I have just or am about to 
fuck? I'll know what you taste like when he eats you. I'll know what he 
tastes like when you blow him. I'll know how it feels to push a dick in 
you when he does and how it feels to have him in you. It'll be as if I 
was doing it with you and I will be, trust me.
	Perhaps what she shouldn't have done was trust ME. Now that 
sounds awfully ominous, but I didn't steal Mike or anything. I just tried 
to come up with my own twist on this affair.
	Mike was great about the whole thing, but how much of a 
stretch is that? I think I mean he was good watching Terri and I make 
love because he liked that too. Otherwise I would be complimenting 
him for enjoying having two women to stick his dick in. And only a 
twisted mind could turn that into something undesirable.
	Terri was less desirous when I held her on top of me for Mike 
to introduce her to the world of anal sex. But I had a scissors hold on 
her head and my arms wrapped around her waist, so there was little 
she could do about it. I also instructed Mike throughout in the manner 
Todd had taken me, so I knew I was doing them both a favor.
	She got over her struggling pretty quickly once Mike got his 
dick in her and started stroking. After all, she had me eating her pussy 
while he fucked her ass and that had to be a pretty fine feeling. Or, it 
was a pretty fine feeling, as I was to find out as Terri demanded that I 
give it up if she had to. I still think Todd was great with the care and 
expertise he showed in ass-fucking me, but how can one man compete 
with one man and a girl?
	It was better for Mike, too. He admitted that a girl cumming on 
your dick was the best part and he and Terri decided they would save 
that treat for when we had threesomes after they tried it successfully, 
but less so, on their own.
	I felt like I had made more progress, sexually, in a month than I 
had in the first two years. It was a lot to assimilate. It was so neat and 
varied, I didn't think it would ever go stale. And stale never became the 
problem. I was the problem. It was such a nice feeling being with 
them. They talked. They shared. They were having fun. They made it 
fun for me.
	It just began to gnaw away at me that they continued with that 
relationship when I wasn't around. It wasn't that I wanted Mike exactly. 
I guess I just kept wishing I was Terri. It was so strange being jealous 
as hell and not having any one to be jealous of. When I sensed that it 
was changing my feeling toward Terri, I tried to explain it to her.
	She understood. She always either understood or went and 
found out why so she could understand. I was jealous not of a person, 
but of a relationship between two people. Unfortunately, understanding 
didn't help her think up a solution. I already knew that having Mike for 
myself wasn't the answer. It wasn't Mike and me that had the 
relationship I was jealous of. We had to cut out regular threes and just 
get together on special occasions. But I kept Terri. That was the good 
thing.
	Gary was long gone when I suddenly had these big blocks of 
free time again, but spring was coming on and I wasn't too worried. I 
was pretty confident that a big-titted girl that did wouldn't be lonely too 
long.
	It was another Eric this time but there was no comparison. This 
Eric was much more mature at the same age than the last. He had ideas 
of his own, not limited to the pages of a men's magazine.
	Not that Eric introduced me to any new twists in sex. He did 
know where the joy hole was and how to fill it. And he did it in his 
own way. It was pretty direct, but I didn't need a lot of window-
dressing particularly. In Eric's case it was fine to get to it, get into it 
and get it done. He was above my basal 50% average for cumming 
while we fucked and I could get him to finger me the times he wouldn't 
go down on me.
	Fingering may have been Eric's best move. He was more into it 
than any other guy I had and because of that, he had developed not 
only techniques, but scripts for using them for their best effect. No 
surprise he became a carpenter so he could work with his hands.
	He learned quickly that our sex was better when he fingered me 
to orgasm before he put his dick in me. And I rewarded this insight by 
showing him I could suck his dick while he fingered me. And he was 
gentleman enough not to ask me to suck him off every time we were 
together. He may have even preferred sliding inside me and fucking the 
daylights out of me. 
	But all told, it was a mediocre feeling going to the junior prom 
with Eric. I know he felt it too. What was the mystery for two people 
that had been screwing for two months? Was he going to get lucky? 
Ha. In fact he got drunk on spiked punch instead.
	I put him in charge of a couple of the guys who said they'd get 
him home and then I took his car to Fern Grove. I wasn't on my way 
there to find a boy, but I wasn't going there not to find one either. I was 
just going to see what was happening with the parkers.
	That was my mystery for the evening. Who was getting lucky 
and who was getting shut out. Of course, I wasn't the only one cruising 
the lot. For a private exchange, parking was a pretty social event. You 
could plan on someone peeking in during the evening and sometimes 
you even got a little conversation in the middle of your sex.
	I ran into the Rod Squad, a group of guys that kept tabs on who 
was doing who and who was claiming more than they were getting. 
They tried to give me a hard time, but I was ready for more than they 
could hand out. I parked Eric's car and pushed my way into theirs with 
a challenge to put up or shut up. It was more than their adolescent 
minds could understand. It was also an offer too good to pass up.
	They were very generous with me. The first one held my 
breasts up for all of them to see when he pulled the top of my prom 
dress down. They were much more private with their own privates. I 
was covered in the skirt of my dress as my panties came off to reveal 
me to their gaze, but the skirt somehow kept falling down to drape the 
coupling. They didn't even stop to pull off the rubber I insisted they 
wear before they pulled up their pants.
	This time the rubber protected more than me. I escaped 
wrinkled but with no semen stains on my dress after they had each had 
their turn with me. The sex was rudimentary, but the way they used me 
as a toy excited me. Except for the moments they were thrusting 
frantically inside me, I was the poster girl for split beaver. Each one 
seemed to be more interested in twisting my pussy into shapes and 
faces than they were in exciting me. But being the center stage and 
main prop of this show was enough for me.
	After that, they had to follow me to Eric's so I could drop off 
the car and then take me home. The gap in the time Eric arrived home 
and the time his car was returned turned out to be a big problem. Eric's 
parents didn't like either him coming home drunk or his 'lending' me his 
car. And it was all my fault in their eyes. Eric wasn't pleased with the 
way the evening ended and the rumors that were going around made it 
easy for him to give into his parent's suggestion that he stop seeing me. 
	Oh, well. I just hoped his pride made him cum as hard as I did. 
I was at the point of infamy where I could have gone from man to man 
from week to week, but the school boys were just a little slower on the 
uptake than that. If I wanted more than tantalized looks, I would have 
had to start making the first move and I wasn't ready for that, yet.
	I wasted some time trying to pick off members of the Rod 
Squad, but they couldn't be lured away from the group even with the 
promise of more sex. I was in neutral for a while. I took to cruising the 
ave. whenever I could finagle the car but guys usually went in pairs 
and wanted girls in pairs too. And Terri wasn't interested- at least 
wasn't willing to go out on Mike.
	A few times with guys I'd never seen before I offered to take 
them both on and a couple of times they took me up on it. I adapted 
some of the things I had learned with Terri and Mike. I had had 
multiple partners before, but only with Mike and Terri had they been at 
the same time. I found I liked having one dick in my mouth and the 
other in my pussy. And it was absolutely the best way to have sex in a 
car with two guys.
	It eliminated the Chinese fire drill of one guy finishing and then 
having to go sit in the front while the other joined me in the back. They 
both got in. They both dropped trou and they both stuck their dick in a 
hole. The first pair were so energetic that they asked me to wait for 
them to get hard again so they could trade places.
	Of course I said yes, because I made them eat me while I was 
waiting. The one was a teaser. He just flicked his tongue over my 
pussy lips and occasionally let it rub my clit. It was maddening, but it 
really got me going. It was the perfect prelude to the second boy who 
wanted to shove his whole face up my snatch. I came on that tongue 
and came again as I made them sit together and sucked them back and 
forth until they were ready to take me front and rear again.
	I think this was the awakening of possibilities for me. My 
search broadened and my repetoir expanded over the years, but this 
and the threesome with Terri and Mike were the starting points that let 
me branch out from the ordinary, dull path most are stuck on.
	But this hit and miss wasn't the way I wanted to go. For every 
wildly successful trip around the block, there were five disappointing 
no actions. This was no way for a honey like me to live. But I couldn't 
get caught begging. That would do nothing for my standing and would 
have a disastrous affect on my chances in my senior year. So I went 
back to the inner city to answer my curiosity- and to keep them 
starbursts coming, I have to admit.
	I also have to admit that I did that by hooking. Not all the time 
or out on the street or anything, but I knew this woman that had me 
meet guys in a hotel room she paid for. I did start spending more and 
more time in that room, but I don't think I ever fucked more than seven 
guys in any five-day span. I could still cruise the ave on weekends and 
be taking care of business steadily during the week. And the money 
was no little incentive to get what I wanted at someone else's expense.
	But first and foremost, it did much to satisfy my curiosities. It 
seemed all men that wanted particularly young women had bizarre 
fantasies about costumes and non-sexual play followed by a blow-job. 
They diapered me, I diapered them- baby-doll clothes and no 
underwear, evil leather gear and a harsh tone, many rationales that led 
to me squatting between their legs and sucking them off.
	The ones that weren't so particular about my youth expanded 
my horizons by showing me what a confident, maybe even rough man 
was like between my legs. I charged an extra $50, twice what I made 
on a trick, to fuck me in the ass and that scared off most of them. They 
still showed me a variety of ways of taking me, from hanging upside 
down off the edge of the bed to hanging from straps above them, right 
through all the human pretzel positions you can be twisted into.
	I didn't like the knees up by your shoulders one because it 
seemed the ones that wanted it just wanted to ram into you until they 
bruised you. I did like pulling up my top leg while they fucked me on 
my side. Even guys that were trying to fuck me as hard as they could 
were good like that. They kept slapping against that top cheek instead 
of my cervix and I got that sensation of brutality without the pain and 
bruises.
	I found I liked it rough within certain limitations. Being mauled 
and plowed was great as long as they only went to the edge of pain and 
weren't just out to hurt me in the first place. I liked the feeling of being 
in the control of a strong, confident man and being used. Being the 
vessel for their pleasure made me feel very womanly. It was only the 
ones that wanted to hurt me that made me feel degraded.
	As for the fetish kings, I thought they were funny. I realized the 
reason they paid me was so that I wouldn't laugh and would play along 
with their twisted needs, but it was hard to keep a straight face in front 
of a man clad only in a diaper, sucking his thumb and making baby 
noises.
	By the end of summer, I was well on my way to affording a car 
of my own. The only catch was that I couldn't explain where I got the 
money. I had to suffer through one more year before I would be out on 
my own and this windfall would be nobody's business but my own. 
Still, it was senior year and a lot of other things retreated into the 
background as I went through my turn as top dog at school.
	Senior girls could ask guys out on dates. They could demand 
good sex and they could lead boys around on a leash if the boy let 
them. It was the most level playing field so far and I planned on getting 
my share of loose hunks with my newfound permissions.
	Though I didn't have the problem, some girls also learned to 
deal with rejection because of this permission. I was ready for it but I 
was out to 40's now and my ass wasn't spread to match. I guess I just 
stumbled on the kind of guy that wanted to fuck me- the still breathing 
kind. Not that it was any treat. It did assure me that there is no external 
way to tell if a guy is good in bed. Some of the best came as mercy 
fucks that turned out dynamite, but it was more common for all the 
indicators to still yield a dud in the sack.
	If proud is the word to use, I'm most proud of the sophomore 
boys I let take me out. In the high school world I was stooping low to 
even acknowledge underclassmen, much less go out with them and 
fuck them. There are, I guess, some good reasons not to rush youth 
into sexual activity, but there's also something to be said for 
experienced instruction. I'm sure a lot of young girls were better off 
because of the things those boys learned from me.
	And boys like Petie could make up for any hits to my 
reputation all by themselves. I was thinking of him when I said that 
thing about great 'mercy fucks'. He was awkward and shy at first, but 
inside there was a totally different face. I got to it by talking tough to 
him. I faced him up to the realities first thing. What have you got to 
lose, I asked. Whose reputation is on the line here anyway? Why 
would I need to let you get this far to mock you? Who else has to 
know anything about you to put you down?
	I bet you can't fly a helicopter either, I went on, subtly shifting 
his attention to more personal fears. But you aren't going to learn until 
you get in one. What's the downside.
	I must have sensed his need to be challenged to get in his face 
that way because it was the perfect way to goad a performance from 
him. I think I wounded his humble act with my straight talk. Whatever 
the cause, once past the hesitation Petie turned in Olympic performances.
	He was different from the rest. He was different from all the 
others. I don't know if it was a problem or a gift, but Petie could screw 
like a machine deep into the night. One of the pluses of getting the first 
blushes of excitement in boys is their rebound ability.
	Petie had no need of that. He could fuck and fuck and fuck and 
fuck as hard as I wanted, as fast as I wanted and keep going and going. 
One night he fucked me not only through Us and Them, but though the 
entire Dark Side of the Moon. And he picked up and slowed down 
with the music. I came about four times that night.
	I came every time but the first time with Petie. He was the only 
one who had made me come every time just by fucking me. He learned 
to eat me too and I blew him, but I could only get him to come in my 
mouth if I let him fuck me for ten minutes or so before I sucked him 
again.
	I would have fucked Petie all year if he hadn't found out about 
ass-fucking. It was one of those situations where you know what's 
going to happen, but you have no control. He had heard about it 
somewhere and asked if I had ever done it. Then I got that feeling. I 
wanted to lie because I knew what would happen, but I couldn't bring 
myself to do it.
	It wasn't horrible or anything, but it was just like I feared. He 
was still ramming it up my butthole long after it had lost its meaning 
for me. It was just that much more irritating and the pain was just that 
much longer lasting. It also took longer to get over after Peitie had 
fucked your ass. And of course he fell in love with it. He wanted to 
fuck my butt more and more and I began to see less and less of Petie.
	On the other end of the spectrum from the sophomore boys 
were the teachers. As a senior girl, they seemed to look on me more as 
an equal. Well, I'm sure that was bullshit. I think what they looked on 
me as was fresh meat. A pretty good bet not to tattle and only a few 
months from being out of their hair and no longer a danger.
	They were really smooth at it too. They didn't come at you at 
all. They dropped hints like fishhooks and made you bite before they 
reeled you in. You not only had to go to them, you had to suggest it.
	The cynicism you hear is my recent rethinking of what 
happened. At the time I thought it quite adventurous and exciting- me, 
the part-time whore and all-round party girl. I felt that fucking a 
teacher was an achievement- another page in my book of 
accomplishments. Call it a problem of perspective.
	Mr Gilbert was the chemistry teacher. The other girls were 
swooning over Mr. Jennings, the English teacher, and I wasn't going to 
be one of the crowd. Mr Gilbert was every bit as handsome as Mr. 
Jennings, he just didn't advertise in the same way- flashy suits, current 
hairstyles and all that.
	Okay, he was a schlub. But he was an attractive schlub. And he 
didn't wield the innuendo  and double entendre  of a Mr. Jennings. I 
just caught him trying to look down my top a lot. It may have been a 
little more of a leap of faith with Mr. Gilbert, but I was going to do and 
say the same things as any girl trying to seduce her teacher. 
	He didn't resist much. He didn't do much. He listened to my 
offers and didn't run away. That was his contribution- not making me 
stop. When I finally got him to fuck me it was like that too. He was 
not hot, not cool. He was lukewarm. Thoroughly mediocre.
	I guess that was a brush with sex for status. I didn't get it.. Petie 
was a lot better than Mr. Gilbert. Why should I condemn myself to Mr. 
Gilbert sex? 
	I now know that was a defining moment. Not that I had a great 
realization in a Zen inspiration- it was just a moment that expresses the 
decisions I had made in my perception of the world. It didn't occur to 
me that sex could lead to anything better. I understood that you could 
get things out of sex. I just didn't think they were as rewarding as good 
sex. If you were going to fuck someone for something, I reasoned, 
getting a good fuck was the best reason there was.
	I have only recently discovered the naiveté of that belief. Not 
that my way of thinking was wrong. I have just realized how much my 
search for good fucking has coincided with having the right dick in me 
at the right time to open the door for me. Of course, another part of me 
is shouting that my course was in pursuit of the good sex and the doors 
I chose were for that reason and not any master plan of where I hoped 
to go.
	Indeed, I was following not a dream, but a lust. Where I've 
ended is just the last stop on the path of where I was going. But having 
the big gazongas has certainly made it easier to choose the path to 
follow. I can see how some girls see the attention as a burden, but I've 
always thought of it as power. It's the power to never have Mr. Gilbert 
sex again and still reap the benefits of getting what I really want- good 
sex.
	That's my story. So what'll it be sailor?