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If you are under 18 years of age, stop reading immediately!
Do not read this story if you are easily shocked!
Shield your eyes from this wretched abomination! Such hideous
perversion! Shocking indecency! Craven corrupt carnal
concupiscence! Rancid rapaciousness! Salacious slavering
savagery! Lewd leering lascivious lechery, wrenchingly wanton
vulgarity, dripping from the depths of deviant desire! Tragically
twisted, tormented and tangled turgidity! It makes me weep to
even think about it!
Turn back, O faint of heart! Read on only if you dare dredge the
darkest dregs of insane imaginings! The ravenous rantings of mad
lust and lunacy!
Girl Scout Cookies
by Vivian Darkbloom
In my favorite chair, I sat studying the lyrical lines of Hamlet
when, what should I hear? but the delightful dingdong of the
doorbell! Revealed on the threshold was little Jenny Sue, our
neighborhood girl scout. "I'm selling cookies in order to learn
valuable business skills, build self-esteem, and become a better
citizen!" she piped cheerily.
"My, what an industrious young lady," I remarked. "I'll take a
box of thin mints." I handed her a twenty dollar bill, and she
returned the correct change, along with a box of cookies.
"Thank you very much for supporting girl scouting," she said with
a curtsy.
"Toodle-do," I replied, gently closing the door and returning to
my reading.
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