Author: Urquhart Devlin Title: Accidental Cookery Summary: A mother's group is the perfect place to meet and swap tips on cooking with friends. The trouble is, in most groups. you'll have a couple who like nothing better than a good row. In this group those roles are filled by Susan and Tiff - and this time they really have gone too far. Keywords: F+ g cons dolcett reluc snuff ==================== Accidental Cookery ==================== by Urquhart Devlin "I could take one really deep." said Susan placidly, as her youngest child suckled hungrily on one of her substantial swollen breasts. "More than you could Tiffany at any rate." "Now you pair." Maureen, their hostess this afternoon, said jovially, tried to placate the two women. "I'm sure you could both get a spit right up to the limit." **** One thing guaranteed to get an argument going among the members of the mother's circle was cookery. Every woman there had her own secrets and family traditions for producing the perfect roast and were always prepared to defend their reputation. This one had started with the question of how far a spit could be inserted into the meatgirl before it pierced her, and had quickly turned into the circle's most belligerent pair squaring off again. Nobody was quite sure what was the source of so much animosity between Susan and Tiff, probably not even the antagonists by now. Like all good mothers their battles were carried out in snide comments and passive- aggressive posturing rather than physical attacks, along with a tendency to try and defeat the other in any competition they could. Tiffany was the more obvious competitor, twenty-five and blonde with a lean body from regular workouts. Unfortunately she could be a little scatterbrained, once cooking her eldest daughter on what turned out not to be her husband's birthday. Most of the other mother's reckoned, if only she was a little brighter, she could wipe the floor with Susan every time. Susan was a contrast - thirty-two with a slightly sagging matronly figure and substantial boobs that she seemed to think made her superior to Tiffany's a-cups. The curvy brunette had never been known to take any unnecessary exercise, though the effort required to conceive and bear eight children, so far, seemed to have stopped her tipping over from luscious to fat. Relying on cunning, she more often than not emerged from their spats the victor. **** Maureen's attempt at conciliation hadn't worked, not that she'd really expected them to. Tiffany's response was immediate and a little shrill. "I know you've had a whole litter up there one at a time, but I've had triplets. My womb's got a lot more give in it now." "You're on." retorted Susan, "Let's do it right now, I know Maureen's got a couple of full-size spits in the garage." The other mother's looking shocked but not surprised. None of them had thought about it turning physical, but this wouldn't be the first time they'd had unwilling ringside seats to the view between Susan and Tiffany's thighs. No one here had forgotten when the women's waters had broken simultaneously and they'd insisted on staying to see who could push out a baby first. That meant the mother's circle weren't in any doubt Susan meant it. There were a few groans as she stood up, still holding her suckling daughter to her nipple, using her spare hand to reach under her skirt to pull down her knickers. On the whole, though, the other women's reaction was more a resigned interest. For those closest to Susan there was a ripple of understanding at her actions Wednesday saw the little damp patch in the crotch before she balled up her underwear and shoved it in her bag. All of them at some time had felt a little aroused at the idea of being meat and it seemed their friend just wanted to take it a bit further. Tiffany looked much less sure, but backing down now would be a huge loss of face. So she too shuffled her own underwear down, though rather more reluctantly. Unlike Susan - who had casually flashed everybody - she was careful to not to show her bush, a pointless exercise given what was about to happen. The younger woman just looked unhappy as she finally wriggled her knickers over her feet, though careful observers still noticed a little wet patch in the crotch. "Alright ladies." Maureen sighed, just a little theatrically. "We'd better have you two meatgirls on the kitchen table." **** Luckily Maureen was a good chef. Over the years she'd prepared her own mother and two of her daughters, not to mention countless purchases from the local butchers. After sliding the spit right into Susan's pussy, winking at her friend when she realised how wet and slippery Susan's hole had become, she slowly twisted the point round to find the entrance to the cervix. "Hold tight." she suggested, as she felt the give. "This is going to hurt. You ready Donna?" Donna, who had the matching pole in Tiffany's snatch nodded. Both women gave one hard shove, eliciting shouts of pain from the competitors as cervixes were forced to give way to the hard steel. "That's the worst of it. Take it easy now Donna. We only want to find who can take the most length before giving up. These things are sharp - if we break the womb we'll be in the stomach, and then we might as well carry on and have a barbecue." **** "Keep going." panted Susan, trying to spot how far Tiffany had taken her spit inside. "You can go another few inches." She knew it was far too risky, a sharp pain deep in the belly told her the spit's point was already digging into the wall of her womb. Susan just hoped it would stretch before it tore, after five kids and an adventurous sex life her baby sack must have a lot of give in it. Then a violent pain exploded in her guts and the pretty blonde mother let out a gasping shriek, realising she'd left it too late. "I told you this would happen." said Maureen sharply, looking at her doomed friend with a mixture of annoyance and satisfaction. "Lay back now so we can finish the spitting before we gut you." There wasn't any point in arguing with Maureen, she'd let things get too far and was paying the price. Lying back on Maureen's big kitchen table and trying to relax with the pain, Susan shivered with fear and excitement as her friend skilfully eased the thick metal pole further into her insides. "Fuck this hurts." groaned Susan, trying not to writhe around too much as she came to terms with the fact she had just become meat. "Nearly there, try and enjoy it." suggested Maureen, as she pressed down on Susan's belly to ease the tip into the oesophagus. "Think of it as the ultimate shafting." "Just cook my tits separately." Susan requested breathlessly, feeling the spit now being worked up inside her chest. "You know a pair this big will have burst and burnt before the rest of me is cooked." There was quite a bit of admiration from the other mother's that Susan's last words were concern that her meat should taste at its best. The next moment Maureen was tilting her friend's head back to ensure the spit came cleanly out of the mouth and Susan was silenced. "What are we going to do with her daughter?" asked Jenny, holding the baby girl upside down in one hand. "I've got a recipe here somewhere I've always wanted to try - suckling roasted live in its mother's belly." suggested Maureen, searching hastily through her extensive cookbook collection. "Who's a really steady hand when it comes to gutting?" Damn, I'd forgotten about Trixie, Susan remembered guiltily even through the pain, swivelling her eyes around until she could just make out her baby daughter held up by chubby little legs. I'd promised Brian we'd bring Trixie up as a cooker and have a special roast on his fortieth. Too late to let the girls know that now, we're both just meat to them. **** "Sorry about this Brian." said Maureen, when he came to pick up his wife and found her just starting to brown over the coals, desperately humping the spit as their daughter squirmed in her belly. "We told Susan to stop the spitting, but she wasn't going to back down. You know how competitive she is." "That's my Susan." agreed Brian, looking at his wife with a proud glint in his eye. "She always likes to come out on top. At least she had you to do the cooking Maureen. Is that a suckling I see in her belly?" "We didn't want anything to go to waste." explained Maureen. "And she'll be kept lovely and juicy roasting inside her mother." "I'm impressed you kept the baby alive for roasting Maureen. I always thought the little ones wouldn't survive the preparation." "You should thank Donna. I've never seen such neat work slicing open a belly and cutting out the guts, especially on a tiny baby who's wriggling around and screaming." "I hope Susan behaved herself." Brian joked. "You wouldn't want her great long legs thrashing around, somebody might get hurt." "Not a lot, even before we'd got her trussed." confirmed Maureen. "And I think she's even beginning to enjoy herself now." They both gazed at Susan, frantically rubbing along the spit that filled her pussy even as her skin began to bubble. The look on the face that rotated in front of the pair's eyes every few seconds seemed pretty close to ecstasy. Maureen stood in silence next to Brian. Her friends obvious pleasure was making the expert cook wonder whether she should volunteer to be on the menu next. It was several seconds before she remembered her duties as host. "Where's my manners?" she hastily asked the roasting meatgirl's husband. "We flash-fried her breasts in my special marinade to make nibbles while we waited for the main course. Would you like a plate?"