Archive name: Confessions.HTM (M/F, hum)

Authors name: Paula Wilson ([email protected])

Story title: Confessions

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This work is copyrighted to the author and the Unfaithful Wife Organisation © 2003. Please don't remove the author information or make any changes to this story. All rights reserved. Thank you for your consideration.

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I was showered and sitting in the darkness when Paula finally appeared. She was singing softly to herself and in the darkness didn’t realise that I was sitting up, awaiting her return.

I said nothing and she slipped into the bathroom, soon I heard the shower running and I knew she was sluicing the evidence from her body.

I waited in the darkness until she reappeared. “Where have you been?” I asked.

Paula literally squealed with fright and my determination instantly softened. She flicked on the light and for a moment I was blinded.

“You scared me.” She gasped.

“Where have you been?” I repeated as my eyes adjusted to the light. Paula was dressed in her bathrobe, her blonde hair wet through the shower.

“You scared me.” Paula repeated, drawing the bathrobe tight about her. Why are you up?” She flopped onto the bed.

“Waiting for you, where have you been?”

“At the party, just where were you. I kept looking for you.”

I got angry, something I rarely did. “How was Brett?”

For a moment a look of panic appears on her face and then she rallies. “Brett, I don’t follow you?”

“Brett, as in bar tender, as in inflatable bed, that Brent, now do you follow me.”

The panic returns and suddenly Paula is running for the bathroom. I sit still in the silence only interrupted by her retching as she’s sick. I don’t go to help; in truth I can be sick by just smelling someone else’s vomit.

After a few minutes a pale face and drawn Paula returns. She has a glass of water and her hands are shaking. She flops onto the bed. “Sorry, to much booze, what were you saying?”

I’ll give her credit; she’s a fighter and even now is trying to bluff out her infidelity.

“Brett, the Aussie bar tender, the man you have just spent several hours with, as in making love.” I look accusingly at her. “I saw you.” I add.

“What do you mean, saw me?” She asked sharply.

Suddenly I can sense that I have given Paula an exit. “I saw you together.”

“You were spying, that’s what you mean, isn’t it?” She retorts angrily.

I am not good at this, confrontations are something I detest. “I saw you together, that’s all. I saw you together.” I can feel my chest tightening and I’m short of breath.

Paula stands up and drops her dressing gown; she is naked beneath and looks magnificent. “Come to bed.” She suggests and despite my anger I begin to stiffen.

“We have to talk!” I protest.

“Later, when you aren’t so angry.”

It is later, Paula is resting on my chest and despite myself I feel ludicrously pleased with myself, the sex had been good and once more I’d succeeded in shutting out her infidelity.

“That was nice.” She whispers.

“Just nice, not magnificent or unbelievable?”

“NO!” She laughs. “Just nice.”

I push her away and sit up. “So is that the reason you go with other men, because I’m just nice?”

She looks at me and then gets up, still naked she pads across the room and pours a scotch form the room bar. “Here, you need this.” She offers me the glass but I don’t accept.

“Trying to get me drunk? What will that solve?”

“It’s a miniature stupid, you’d need to be a kid to drunk on this little, now drink it.”

I take the plastic glass from between her shaking fingers. It’s only a quarter full. I take a sip, the liquid burns my throat, I cough and splutter.

Paula waits until I have recovered. She sits cross-legged on the bed, still naked, her position shows off her cunt. I can almost smell it. “We need to talk, you need to understand me. I should have done this before we got married. I’m sorry and before I say anything I do love you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

She pulls a face. “Touché, but I do love you, it might not be how you love me, but I love you and I don’t want to be without you.”

“So you fuck with other men, this is our honeymoon and you’ve spent tonight with another man, how does that equate to love?”

“Let me tell you and if after you have heard what I have to say and you still don’t believe me then I’ll leave your life for ever, no strings, and no claims. It’ll be as if I was never here. Okay?”

I don’t like her conditions, for despite everything I can’t see any life that doesn’t include her. I nod my agreement.

“Okay, first up, this isn’t an excuse, it’s me and like I said. I should have told you this a long time ago, but I was afraid that if I did then you would have left me.” She took a deep breath. “I guess it started about six years ago. I was at college and seeing a boy called Davis, we’d been together since I was fifteen, real school sweethearts and then suddenly it wasn’t working. I didn’t want to be in his bed, let alone having sex with him. One night I went out with some girlfriends, got drunk and the next thing I knew I was being screwed in the back of a car. I couldn’t even remember his name, but instead of feeling guilty I felt good. It even got better with Davis and for a few weeks I was happy with him, sex wise and everything else.” She stopped and looked at me. “This is for real Charlie, no bullshit, for real.”

I lifted my plastic glass and drained it, without a word Paula replenished it.

“It worked for a while and then it started to go sour again. I didn’t plan it but soon I was wandering the bars looking for someone, anyone. I found him, it isn’t that hard to find casual sex, and afterwards it worked again between me and Davis.”

“Excuse me.” Paula stopped and went to the bathroom. I thought that she was going to be sick again, instead she returned with a glass of water. “Just a bit dehydrated … where was I?”

“You were explaining that you’d been unfaithful to some boy called Davis.” I was trying to be cruel, sarcastic but wasn’t quite making it.

“You still don’t understand. It wasn’t that I was tired of Davis, but that every so often I needed a release … no … that’s wrong. Davis and I eventually became history, but it was because he took a job in Europe and I wouldn’t go with him.”

“I’ve had other relationships, you know that, and usually they last, but I found that no matter how soon into a relationship I was, the need, the urge for casual sex was always there and until it was satisfied it came between me and my partner.”

“Like two people.” I said unbidden.

Paula smiled. “I have an old girl friend, we haven’t kept in touch, but she’d studied psychiatry, she said that I have a split personality. There’s the normal me, the librarian who goes to church on Sundays, I suppose the woman that you married, and there’s the bar crawler, the dirty girl. She’s the one who screws around, that’s who you saw. I’m not explaining this very well am I?”

“It just sounds like an excuse to screw around.” I said all too bitterly. “Just how long has your alter ego been doing this since we have been together?”

“All the time … I’m sorry love …”

“LOVE!” I snorted.

Paula swept her hair off her face, I saw that her hands were shaking and I took the half empty plastic cup from her. “Thanks, I’d have split it.” She smiled briefly and then became serious.

“Look, I don’t expect you to understand me, not yet, but ask yourself one question. We have known each other for more than two years and have you ever noticed any change in me?”

“No.” I admitted. “I never suspected anything, not until I saw you with him.” I didn’t say which him.

“See, you don’t, none of my previous partners have ever known. It’s just something in me, a need and as long as it’s satisfied, then I can be the normal me.”

I offered her my empty plastic cup and once more she refilled it without question.

“So how often does this need have to be satisfied?” The whisky was making me feel giddy and I was tired. I was also angry and confused. Until the past few days I had lived a perfectly ordinary life. I married an attractive and I’d imagined normal woman and had our life together mapped out with kids eventually, a normal life. Now my beautiful and charming wife was telling me that she needed to be unfaithful and that in her mind it wouldn’t change a thing between us!

“It’s not like my period; it doesn’t arrive on such and such a day. I can go a couple of months and then the next time is a week later, but I suppose it’s about half a dozen times a year.”

“So just how many men have you been with?” I had imagined that Paula was like any normal woman in her mid twenties. She’d had boyfriends before me and I had taken it for granted that those relationships had included sex, but six times a year, even for five years was thirty men and that seemed a massive number.

“I have never kept count … but you have to believe me, you mean more than the rest of them put together. I love you Charlie, I really do and if I could stop and just be with you forever then I would, honestly.” She was pleading with me and I saw the way her eyes had filled.

“Here, your makeup’s about to run.” I handed her a tissue and waited until she’d used it. “So what do we do?” I felt useless, torn between my love for her and the hurt that she had inflicted.

“That’s your call. I’ll stay with you for ever, if you’ll let me, or I’ll walk away, if that’s what you want. It’s your choice.” Paula sniffled; she looked and sounded very tired.

Like I’d said, I’d lived a normal life; it had been one without extreme decisions to make; now I had one and I didn’t know what to say or do. “Now isn’t the time.” I said weakly, knowing that all I was doing was putting off the decision.

This marks the end of the Unfaithful Wife’s stories as related by Charlie Wilson, all future episodes will be related by the lady herself.