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   It's very hard to put your life in writing like this.  If you liked what
you read, can identify with it, or simply didn't understand it or found a
typo, drop me a line.  All thought and input are appreciated.

   ######

   Junior year was about to begin and I was sitting on a cache of a lot of
drugs I'd found on the side of the highway.  A LOT of drugs.  I dabbled
with them - smoking a bit of the pot, cutting myself and ittsy bitsy little
line of crank in the morning before I went off for my morning run - but was
kind of scared of them and kept them locked up in an old hope chest in the
basement.

   I'd also tripped over a lot of porn - and that I was less scared of.  It
was an alien thing for me back then.  This was before the internet brought
it all to the worlds' doorstep and it was a rare commodity in our small
town.  My friends and I had found the occasional Playboy in a father's
drawer or workshop, and once someone had come up with a copy of Hustler
that we all looked at in shock and disgust, but now I was sitting on
perhaps 20 magazines filled with images of things that I'd never seen and
never dreamed of.  It had an effect.

   I was 16, still a virgin which was the norm back then, and while I had
been something of a prude and committed to the idea I'd "lose it on my
wedding night" now I had a new curiosity and change of attitude.  I knew
how all the parts fit together and had seen how it worked.  I found myself
anxious to give it a try.  But it would take a while.

   The adventure began on a summer night close enough to the beginning of
the new school year that practice for our track and field and cross country
teams had begun.  Both the men's and women's teams showed up at the school
exercise fields for pre-season training, and they worked our asses off all
afternoon.

   It was humid, sticky and hotter than hell.  I'll always remember that.
We were all sweating like pigs and drinking lots of water.  At the end of
the day, the announcement was that the school showers were not working due
to some maintenance associated with the coming opening for the school year,
which drew a collective groan from all the members of the team.

   We were all together and most of us had not seen each other all summer
so a large group of us made our way to a friend's farm not far from the
school.  There were a lot of us - perhaps as many as 40 all in the big
backyard and some of the older kids had retrieved goodies from their cars.
There was pot, and vodka with OJ and other drinks being passed around as
the summer sun began to set with a thankful drop in temperature.  I had a
joint on me which I volunteered for the cause, which elicited a cluck of
disapproval from some of my oldest friends, though they all took a hit when
the pot was passed to them.

   I remember that we had all gotten our new uniforms that day and we were
all wearing our new warm-up suits despite the heat.  We were a team and
proud of the new suits - which were the cool kind by Adidas instead of the
thick sweats we had worn the last year.  We were a hot, sweaty bunch
suffering from near heat stroke and the shock of a long workout after
messing around all summer, but we looked good.

   Nathan was my kind of boyfriend - and his parents were divorced so he
had gone to live with his dad for the summer when school ended.  I had seen
him only briefly since he'd returned, so at some point we split off and
looked for a private place to reconnect.

   We found my friends sisters room was still open - this the only one
still open because others were already occupied.  We cleared some toys off
the bed which I remember was covered with this thick comfortable old
patchwork quilt.

   We talked for a few minutes, but we were teenagers so soon the make-out
session was underway - lots of kissing mostly.  (This was another era and
despite the bragging of a few in the locker room we were generally a more
innocent bunch.) After a while we laid down on the single pillow, kissed
some more and he eventually unzipped my warm-up jacket and slid up my
shirt. I reached back and actually undid my bra myself to give him better
access.

   (There were no running bras in those days - or if there were I didn't
have one.  My bra was an old fashioned kind - big, thick and tight to avoid
the bouncing boobies effect while I ran.  I remember I had enough
accumulated boob sweat that when "the girls" were freed it was a sudden
blast of cool air on the wet skin.  It felt so good I almost got dizzy from
it.)

   So there we were in the bed, my warm-up jacket still on but unzipped -
my shirt pushed up and the bra pushed down, creating a scissoring effect
between the various garments pushing my boobs together.  It was a bit
uncomfortable at first and probably looked a little weird, but he seemed to
like it.  I had great breasts as a young girl and he started sucking the
nipples between kisses.

   I remember I told him at some point to lick them instead of sucking the
nipples so much - because frankly they were just a bit chaffed from
bouncing inside my bra all day.  I didn't even think about the sweat on my
skin.  It must have been really salty.  God that felt so good.  In general,
I had always enjoyed the kissing more than his always sort of clumsy
attempts to feel me up, but I REALLY liked the feel of my tits getting
licked that night.

   We were lying in on our sides facing each other, and he had his head
buried in my boobs and I wasn't quiet sure what to do there.  I kissed the
top of his head a few times and hugged him, and it was pleasurable so I was
having fun.  (I still liked the kissing more.)

   At some point he reaches behind me and pulls me closer to him, his hands
moving to the back of my hips as he did so.  I remember his hands were
playing with those two dimples we all have on our hips right at the belt
line in back - and I didn't know why, but it felt just fucking incredible!

   (I read years later in a women's magazine that most of us find getting
touched there to be a real turn-on, but I am pretty sure he hit the right
places there totally by mistake.  He was pretty clumsy as a lover.  I'm
sure I was too back then.)

   So somewhere between his licking my boobs and sucking on my nipples,
rubbing my ass and touching my lower back just in the right places, I find
that I'm grinding myself into his leg and I'm doing it a lot.  I'd never
done - or had even thought about doing - ANYTHING like that before and I
was getting totally turned on.

   I can't remember ever being turned on quite like that before - and I had
experimented a bit with masturbation and done some things with him before.
He had been to "third base" - briefly - but this was just direct
stimulation right were it counted.

   We went on like this for a while, and at some point he puts his hand
down the back of my pants which again was kind of embarrassing because
again, I had been sweating all day.  But he starts cupping my ass and
moving his hands back and forth and I liked that.

   I was wearing these low cut cotton panties, and they were damp in the
way that you only get damp clothing when in a very humid summer in the
Midwest.  I was also getting damp in other ways too - and being a teenaged
girl I was slightly getting self-conscious a bit but I got passed it
because it just felt so good.

   Thinking back, I have to say it was a good move on his part too, as I
had been worried he was going to put his hands down the front of my pants
early on.  Frankly, that was still "disputed territory" and I probably
would have gotten timid.  (He had unzipped my pants once in a make-out
session during the prior school year, and his hand had briefly made its'
way inside, but that cost him as for a month afterword I was scared about
what had been done and wouldn't make out with him when we were alone.)
Anyway, so at this point it was pretty intense and we were both kind of in
like a trance of making out, and next thing I know my pants are sliding
down in back and taking the front with them - and I really didn't care.

   He begins pushing them down - but the pants only leaving my panties on.
(I had removed my track shorts earlier in the evening and put them in my
purse since they had made my butt look fat under the track suit.) Pretty
quickly they are down around my thighs but my panties were still on- I
remember thinking that not attempting to take my underwear down was very
considerate.

   We were kissing and he was playing with my ass and licking my boobs and
I was grinding on his leg which felt even better now because it was just
the thin cotton panty panel now between him and me.

   I was kind of going a little crazy dry humping him that way and some
point, I felt the poke that let me know he was hard.  I was embarrassed for
about 5 seconds, but that didn't last, and after another 5 minutes or so I
decided I wanted to touch it so I reached down and rubbed it through his
pants, and I think that made him a bit bolder.  His hands - which had been
dancing on my butt outside of my panties went inside and touched the skin
of my ass directly.  That direct touch really kicked me into another gear
as well.

   I finally put my hand inside his pant and cupped him over his underwear
and we played like that for a while.  I pushed his pants down too only I
pushed the underwear down too and touched my first hard dick ever.  It was
so amazing - I know that I had never felt anything even a bit like it.

   I knew from talk and books and stuff, that I was supposed to stroke it,
but I was enjoying it so much that I really just played with it at first -
pressing it in my hand to feel how hard it was and tracing the tip and the
little helmet thing with my fingers.  I remember the ridge around the
helmet was so smooth and the shaft was actually not "rock hard' but kind of
just really stiff but also spongy.

   I was frankly fascinated and actually moved away from him a bit so I
could look down at it in my hand, and there we were lying on our sides
facing each other - his big erect dick in the middle between us.  I
remember at some point coming to my senses and realizing all action had
kind of stopped as I was just sitting there looking at his cock in my hand
- and so I kissed him hard and hugged into him kind of out of embarrassment
as much as anything, and when I did he moved his hand around to the front
of my panties and then inside.  When he slipped a finger tip in, I was so
shocked that I about jumped in the air.

   He put his finger the rest of the way in me and it slid in without any
resistance as I was soaking wet.  I actually think I had kind of came a bit
when I had been humping on his leg, though I'm not sure I really knew what
was going on there.

   So we lay and played with each other with our hands.  After a while I
was using both hands - one to stroke him and a second to cup his ball sack
and I found I really, really liked playing with his balls.

   We were both 16, athletic and in good shape.  I almost can see us both
in my mind - our clothing pushed up and pushed down.  (At some point and I
don't even remember when or how, I had pushed his shirt up over his chest
and had licked on his nipples a bit too.  I don't even know how I thought
to do that.) Our pants at our thighs like we were young kids playing a game
of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" and our fingers dancing on and
in each other.  (If they could capture things like what I am imagining now
on film, I think women would be bigger consumers of porn.)

   I remember being so fascinated with his cock - and I remember being
disappointed in other cocks I saw for a long time afterwards before I saw
one again as simply beautiful.  He was maybe 7 inches and it was thick and
tan - no veins or anything.  Just perfect.

   I remember at some point I was actually humping his hand - just working
his fingers more than he was actually moving them - and that kind of was
weird I thought so I went back to being closer to him and we kind of ground
on each other.  I had my legs wrapped around one of his tightly.  His cock
was sliding back and forth on my thigh as I just ground myself into his
leg.

   We were sweating so much that we were like lubricated, and I was kind of
out of my mind.  He reached down and I was quickly fucking his fingers as I
rubbed his leg.  The feelings in my pussy were totally electric.  It was
almost like I was coming continually - I never wanted it to stop.

   Finally, he pushed me back in a bit of a panic, and he started cumming
in like these big rope-like spurts.  He came all over the blanket on the
bed, and on my track suit jacket and there was a lot.  It just kept coming
and coming and I just watched it and I wanted to touch it so I did -
holding him and feeling the contractions.  I had never felt anything so
incredible in my whole life.

   I remember I started giggling - I was kind proud of myself.  I flipped
over onto him and kissed him passionately and kind of just rubbed my body
into him and I didn't care that the stuff was getting all over the bed and
my track clothes.

   Finally, we both kind of knew it was time to go back to the others, and
I stood up first.  My clothes were not just in disarray but actually kind
of all twisted and knotted up, so I took a moment to get completely naked
for him - something I had never done - and then slowly put my clothes back
on.  I remember my pubic hair was so thick with sweat and my own juices
that it looked like it was coated in salad oil and it was all matted up,
and he was watching me with something that could have been love I don't
know.

   He pulled his pants up and shirt down and we went back to the party,
totally forgetting to straighten the bed or even attempt to wipe the cum
off the blanket, but at least the stuff had melted or whatever happens so
it was simply wet and not like little white lines and dots on the colorful
blanket.  I'm sure it must have dried hard as a rock.  I did go into the
bathroom and used a wet towel to wipe off my jacket and thought I looked
okay, but everyone totally razzed us when we went back to join the party
and my girls all kind of gave me weird looks for the rest of the evening.
(I did tell them all about it - well not ALL about it - the next day.)

   I didn't lose my virginity that night or even to that guy - but I'll
always remember that as the night I discovered sex and became a woman.  I
can't believe how much emotion and energy it brings me to recall all this
and put it onto a page, but here it is.