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 The Accident

   I've tried to explain to a number of people how the accident happened
but in the end the truth is I was simply stupid.  Lee, my husband was
stunned, hurt, angry and extremely upset by it but slowly over the period
since he has realised I genuinely love him and am truly, deeply sorry.

   So what led up to it?  I was a little bored and maybe Wayne added some
interest into what had become a rather ordinary life.  Now that's wrong, it
sounds as if Lee was a boring man or that my children didn't matter to me
and that's not the truth of it.

   I had a good set of friends and loved my family, still do, but with Ella
starting school I suddenly found myself with time on my hands and there are
only so many coffee mornings and Post-natal group gatherings one can go to
before they become a little samee.

   Wayne was a cliché; he was a repair man who came to fix a problem we had
with our boiler and the moment he came into my house he began to hit on me.
I was just turned thirty and like to think I look a few years younger than
I am and he was maybe forty and a real looker.

   He swaggered in, gave me the once over then spent more time chatting me
up than working on the problem.  I must admit I was flattered because like
I've mentioned he was an attractive man especially when he used the excuse
of spraying himself with a little water (if he ever did) so stripped down;
rolling his coveralls to his waist to show his bare torso.

   He was muscular and had a pronounced six pack which he made sure I got a
good look at strutting about the kitchen then stopping for a second coffee
to `chat about the parts he'd need to buy.  At this point I need to add
that he was being very forward and while nothing was happening (this was
real life not some daft sex story where he flashes some flesh and my
clothes fall off!) but there was definitely an offer from him if I was
interested.

   Anyway after a while he gave up and told me he'd have to come back at
some time over the next two days so asked me when I was around.  We agreed
the Thursday morning after I'd dropped of the children and he put the
boiler back together so it was safe but still not working, then he left.

   I remember laughing to myself once he'd gone but in truth he'd got me
really turned on (I think that would have been the case for most women as
he was so, so hot) also he'd been so suggestive!  There was nothing
actually pornographic in the conversation but he'd complemented me about my
hair, asked if I was a true blond (and then added there was a good way to
confirm that, when I said yes) then added that leggings suited my lovely
long legs and other such remarks.

   Now I tried not to think too much about him but he'd got me a little
excited so that night I made love with Lee and I was quite vocal.  I don't
think I thought about the repair man that night but I'll be honest I can't
be certain.

   Two days later Wayne appeared and was immediately back on the offensive.
He noted I was again wearing leggings (nothing unusual there but I suppose
they do show your legs off well if they are decent ones) and asked if they
were for him!  God he was such an arrogant man but yet it was hot to have
him flirting with me again.

   This time he did a big number on me, chatting about me; how pretty I
was, how good my long legs must look in stockings, what my biggest likes
and dislikes were and in the end we sat for almost an hour jousting
verbally all the while the talk getting closer to the bone.

   In the end he finally came out and asked me if he thought he was
attractive.  I said it wasn't for me to say but he pressed and added that
he hadn't had a girlfriend for quite a while.  I laughed at this and he
asked why, so I told him that a hot guy like him would have no trouble.  He
grinned and then said he was glad I found him hot as he found me very hot.
Now I went red and blustered and broke away which was his cue to fix my
boiler.

   He called me into the small utility room to show me it working and I
went inside to find him in just a pair of shorts his muscled body on
display.  He pretended not to notice my discomfort so went over what he'd
done then gave me a little lesson on the boiler standing very close behind
me his manhood grazing my rear as he leaned over my shoulder.

   "You smell wonderful!" he stated and I gave a little thank you and
before I could stop myself I added "So do you."

   "So are you really a true blond?" he asked again.

   "What?  Yes, yes I really am." I smiled but I felt myself tingling he
was almost touching my neck as he spoke his hot breath making my hairs
rise. He pressed lightly against my rear and I felt his bulge touching me
causing me to let out a little gasp.  I was almost swooning now it was
ridiculous but the man was just getting me so aroused.

   Then he kissed my neck.  Lightly but he followed this with several more
as he pressed up to me.  I had nowhere to go except against the boiler so I
could feel his growing manhood as he rested against me and I knew I needed
to move or it would go too far only I was losing my will to fight this.

   Before I'd recovered enough to extricate myself he turned my head and
kissed me full on the lips as his hands roamed my body, gently but with a
purpose.  My mind didn't work any more so my brain didn't stop me and as
the kiss went on I found myself responding a little.

   After that things moved at a rapid pace.  I was facing him arms about
his neck.  I was locked with him tongues swirling together.  His hands went
inside my leggings and held my rear.  His fingers crept to my knickers and
rubbed my labia from underneath.  I gave a moan which should have been
`stop' but it was just a mew and then before I was even fully aware of it
his hand had moved to the front and two fingers curved down and into me.

   This was madness but I was just so turned I let it continue my mind in a
fog.  He was on his knees then and pulling down my leggings then added with
a chuckle that I really was a natural blond!  I think he knew that if I was
given any time to think this through I'd put a stop to it so he never let
up and his face dived into my sex before the clothes were below my knees.
After that I was putty in his hands.  I adore oral sex and his hot mouth
meant I was racing towards a climax.

   He knew he had me so after the clothes reached my ankles he stopped and
got me to step out of them then went back to his oral ministrations getting
me very worked up.  He the dragged me out of the tiny room and swiftly into
the kitchen he then showed just how strong he was as he picked me up and
carried me into the hall and up the stairs.

   He found my bedroom and even as I started to tell him we had to stop he
dived between my legs and the protest died on my lips.  I was arching my
back on the verge of a climax when he stopped and I looked at him knowing
what was coming next.  This was wrong, very wrong but the man was not only
persuasive he was something out of a calendar.

   As I lay on my marital bed the man dropped his trousers and looked at me
challengingly as his huge black cock sprang into view.  At least I didn't
say it was too big (I'd had two children so knew just how big things can
get!) but he really was hung.  He gave a smile then got onto me and we
kissed then slowly he inserted his cock passed my lips and worked it into
me.

   I'm not going to lie here, I no longer cared about anything but the man
who was pushing into me, he was the first (and only) black man I'd ever had
sex with and by a long distance had the largest cock I'd seen or felt.  I
had a climax before he was even fully inside me and after he pulled off my
sweat-top and bra (the latter with my help) I wrapped my body about his and
rocked with him to a second crashing orgasm.

   He made sex with me for about thirty minutes before he climaxed
triggering what I think was my forth orgasm.  We lay together and he kissed
me then told me the boiler would need a lot more work.  I giggled but said
I didn't think so but he shook his head and told me it would and he'd be
back next week to do some more `plumbing'.

   Now the really stupid part of this came the next week when he turned up
and I suggested he leave again but somehow my resolve failed and he was
inside with a coffee; just for a chat which meant he was between my legs
ten minutes after that.

   I was embarrassed about how I'd cheated twice and Lee got the benefits
as I showered him with attention and sex (which was very good) and tried to
tell myself there would be no more.  Only I'd sampled a delicious forbidden
fruit which I had to sample at least once again.

   Then I caught a bad vomiting bug.  It left me completely wiped out and
obviously sex free.  I remember a week later thinking that I'd not made
love to my husband for two weeks but didn't have a chance because he got
the bug and it also meant I was getting very frustrated.

   Stupidity got the better of me and when Wayne called I found it
impossible to say no so I let him into my house again and I was like a dog
on heat; we did it for over an hour him leaving me tired but happy although
I swore to him it was the last time.

   It was three weeks after that I realised I'd missed my period.  Then the
cold fear crept over me.  Obviously I'd not taken the pill when I'd had the
bug and in the time in between I'd only made love that one time to Wayne;
in fact Lee and I hadn't had sex now for seven weeks what with the bug
(which spread to the children as well) and his catching up at work.

   I tried to think of all the possible alternatives to what I feared but
knew there were none.  The child would be Wayne's.  I decided wisely to get
an abortion but then I hit the next hurdle.  The doctor was very well known
to me so I dare not visit her and in the end went alone to a clinic where I
expected to arrange for the termination.

   I suppose fate had decided I needed to be punished for this affair and
that was when I bumped into Tilly and Rosanne, friends we'd met through my
daughter's school.  We chatted about children then Tilly looked at me and
with a grin asked if congratulations were due?  I was only eight weeks and
not showing at all so asked her what she meant she pointed to the test I'd
slipped into my handbag which I'd left open after finding change for the
car-park.  It was now on the floor at our feet.

   Without batting an eyelid Rosanne picked it up, looked at it then gave
me a big hug.  "Congratulations!" They cried.  I was simply off balance and
therefore too slow witted to deny it by saying something that might have
deflected the conversation.

   "Thanks." I replied lamely then made to continue to my appointment but
when they asked me where I was going I simply said to buy a few groceries.
They told me no and I was taken for a coffee and lots more grilling.

   Ten minutes later I sat fighting tears as the women chatted to a third
mutual friend telling her the `good' news.  Ok if I'd been thinking
straight I could still have had an abortion and claimed a miscarriage but I
wasn't thinking at all.  This is real life not some clever TV show when you
think of all the answers at the click of your fingers.  I could think of
nothing at all, right then.

   By the end of the day half the neighbourhood knew and so reluctantly I
told Lee who was delighted then surprised by my reaction; which wasn't what
he expected.  I waited for the penny to drop too scared to tell him
directly only it didn't and as the days went by I felt things were
impossible to fix.

   My parents now knew and my sister and his brother and eventually just
about everyone while day after day I became more and more morose.  I
finally arranged for a termination the next week as it finally dawned on me
I could pretend I'd miscarried; I knew this might prove difficult but it
was the best I could achieve.

   Then when I was around twelve weeks gone I had a shock as I got a visit:
Wayne had made no further contact with me after that final time so it was a
big surprise when he phoned to ask if he could pop in.  I didn't tell him
anything but no yet twenty minutes later he was with me only now he had the
shock.

   "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked looking at the little bump I now
carried.  "How?  I wasn't about to phone the service company and tell them
to let you know you'd knocked me up!"

   "But what are we going to do?" he asked as if he was now involved.

   "We?  There is no we.  You seduced me twice and I was stupid enough to
allow you to see me a third time which I knew was a mistake, only not just
how much of one."

   "But you're having my kid!  I want to make sure it's looked after and...
well knows its father."

   I looked at the man surprised to see he was serious.  I'd not expected
this.

   "Wayne, I don't want this baby.  I wanted to get a termination a few
weeks ago but things went wrong however I'm still going to."

   "Don't!  That's wrong.  It's not the baby's fault you got pregnant. 
Besides, why would you?"

   "Because it's going to be black and I'm married and both my husband and
I are white.  Why do you think?"

   "You knew the risks!  You were happy enough that last time, very happy
as I recall!  You never once asked me to wear something so you knew you
were taking a risk but decided it was worth it.  This poor kid's the
result, your fault not his!"

   "I was on the pill!  I had no intention of taking any risks and she will
ruin my life if she's born!"

   "You life might be difficult for a while but she will be dead!"

   I looked at him in shock for a moment or two at this statement them
broke down.  It was cold, calculated but true the baby would die if I did
this and besides it was now almost twelve weeks and not just an it but a
forming baby...  I was lost.

   Wayne stayed for an hour then left me in tears having assured himself I
was going to keep our baby.  I couldn't tell my husband that night but knew
I had to do something and soon only what I didn't know, I was trapped.

   Wayne visited me several times over the next few weeks checking up on me
as I slowly grew and the time to have a termination passed.  Then around
six months when I'd got quite large I woke up one day and at last I sat my
husband down and told him the truth.

   He actually cried which made me cry as well I'd hurt him so badly; the
ultimate betrayal he said a few days later.  I had nothing I could do now
except pray he wouldn't throw me out and try to decide what to say to
family and friends.  In the end I went online and after reading some
frankly stupid stuff (mostly sex stories or people who fantasised about
such stuff) but finally chatted to a couple of women who were genuine when
they explained they'd had similar situations.

   That was when I went to my parents and told them that the baby would be
black as I'd had a one-night-stand with a man and he had been black.  I
added I still loved my husband and that it had been the most foolish thing
in my life but I wasn't about to kill the child I carried because of my
mistake.

   It was probably the most brave thing I've ever done but still they were
so upset we didn't speak for a week.  Eventually I went back and more or
less repeated myself only this time my father told me I'd been a `bloody
fool' but I was very courageous to keep the baby and he was proud of that
part of me.

   I repeated this story to Lee's parents, the rest of the family and
eventually our friends, all face to face all with similar responses except
one who called me a slut to my face and more or less threw me out. 
Actually thinking back she always had a bit of a thing for Lee so was
probably jealous we were still together after this.

   Lee for his part had grown silent for many weeks but as I faced up to
this and told the world without embellishment (ok the story was just a
little off as I'd actually done it three times not once) and never tried to
either defend myself or ask anyone for forgiveness he softened to me and
eventually when he came into our bedroom six weeks before the birth and
actually kissed me I cried most of the night and the next day.

   So that's it, yes I had my new baby, a son and called him Joshua, he is
definitely of mixed race but he is mine and I love him as much as the
others.  Lee has taken him as his own and even the grandparents don't treat
him differently for which I am very thankful.

   I lost a few friends but most now simply seem to have forgotten; in fact
we were at friends a few weeks ago when one of the women mentioned this hot
black guy who was working at the local town hall and then made a joke about
having a fling with him.  She stopped and looked at us then went to
apologise but I cut her off as Lee gave me a cuddle and a kiss and we moved
on, it was clear she'd forgotten all about Joshua's history!

   Finally I would add that the trauma wasn't worth the sex and also when I
was researching my problem I came across loads of people who seemed to
think this was not only a good thing to have happened but were jealous of
me!  Don't be, it was shitty and the price was way, way too high.

   I will end as I started by reiterating that Lee, my wonderful
undeserving husband was hurt, angry and humiliated by my thoughtless act
and no one you love should be faced with what he has endured.  I am just
thankful he is the most forgiving of men and pray he know just how much I
truly love him.