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 Lottery Loser -[From a story outline from Tim B]

   It should have been a great thing to have won but it's not worked out
that way at all.  If I'm honest this life of `leisure and pleasure' is far
from what I envisaged or wanted for myself.  It is best if I describe the
background to all this and say that at the age of thirty I've been married
for eight years now.  My wife and I met at university when we were both
twenty and towards the end of our second years although we were barely more
than nodding acquaintances at that time our relationship not setting off
until the following autumn term.

   My wife Stephanie is five foot three, slight build but with a will of
iron forged out of her adolescence, I'm five eight, I suppose average build
and have often been called stubborn over the years again probably due to my
upbringing.  Stephanie is an orphan, her parents and brother dying in a car
accident when she was twelve.  She went to live and was adopted by her aunt
and uncle, her mother's brother.  They were older than her parents so were
already in their late fifties when Stephanie became their ward and I
believe they found this very hard.

   Now I need to add here that there was nothing untoward in their
relationship although it was difficult for both parties.  Her uncle and
wife were looking forward to having a few years to themselves with both
their children out of the house; one at university the other with their own
flat.  Suddenly their plans were shelved and they had to go through the
teenage years with another daughter and I know that Stephanie was conscious
(not that they ever said anything) of plans for a holiday to China that was
never realised at least not while she kept in touch with them.  So she
endured rather than lived during those years never quite fulfilling the
ideals set by the new parents yet never being told she hadn't; quiet
disappointment, as she once told me.  However she still got decent exam
results so obtained a place at university studying biology.  Her step
parents packed her off, assisting her to get a loan to pay her fees and
rent a flat and a few other essentials which Stephanie took to mean,
`here's all you need now go'.  That was maybe a little cynical but probably
not that far from the truth.

   I myself had parents who loved me totally but who loved each other more,
I was an oops and born when my mother was just twenty (and still at
college) but I suppose fortunately my father was the love of her life and
her his so they married and lived a totally happy life only of course they
were too young as parents and when I got to eighteen and my own university
days began they also made plans.  They told me at the start of my second
year they wanted to move to the USA, California to be exact but when I told
them I didn't it just delayed them for about six months.  My father had a
job offer and as my mother told me gently they were both young still (just
short of their fortieth birthdays) and wanted to make the most of the
opportunity while they could fully enjoy it.  So by Easter of that year the
plans were in full swing to emigrate in the summer.

   So to meeting Stephanie; like I mentioned we were friends of friends and
saw each other occasionally but seldom spoke and if we did neither of us
looked at the other with an interested eye.  That was more to do with us
both having `other halves' a lot of the time.  In fact I should have
clocked that Stephanie had countless `boyfriends' but of course I didn't
think about this until a lot later and like I said I had a string of
`semi-serious' girlfriends to occupy my attention.  The first time I really
chatted to her was an evening when she was on her own (well with loads of
us but no boyfriend) and sitting next to me so we talked for a long time.
It was later when we were having a group discussion about something when
she fell asleep if first discovered that to keep herself she was working
Monday to Thursday evenings 5 - 10 at a local supermarket and all day
Sunday.  After lecture and course work done mostly on a Saturday no wonder
she was shattered.

   Anyway after that I felt differently about her, admired her for what she
was doing and eventually we became friends of a sort.  That said she was
still nothing more than that although when my parents move became certain
she was supportive and I think because of her I gained the courage to tell
them I wouldn't transfer my final year to a university in California.  My
mother was very surprised about this but understood that I wanted to finish
my course now I was so far into it and told me that maybe I could, if I
wanted take a masters or even a doctorate at a collage out there when I
came to live with them full time.  More learning wasn't what I had in mind
however.  Anyway after five weeks getting to know my way around Santa
Barbara, a very different environment (and climate) to Northampton I
returned to my last year of university and what I thought would be my last
year in England.  I bumped into Stephanie the second day back on the arm of
some new guy and while she was friendly I got the distinct impression he
had other things on his mind, namely getting into her pants.

   It was a month later that we met at a party, she alone as was I having
met and then dumped a first year in the four weeks between seeing her last.
We chatted and then danced together as friends only I think we were both,
for the first time, aware that the other was attractive and available.  We
ended up in her apartment that night and I found out she was a wildcat in
bed.  Thankfully I was fit and having been without a girl for a whole week
was sufficiently rested to perform with distinction.  We woke the next
morning and after some strenuous sex she grabbed a lift off me to get to
work for 09.45.  Now I didn't expect it to be anything and neither did she
but a few days later I met her in a rush coming out of library and she
begged a lift to her flat and then work as she was really late.  She
couldn't afford to run a car and waiting for a bus would have cost her any
opportunity to change so I agreed and ferried her around.  As she went to
get out she looked at me:

   "I don't know where this will end but I actually don't have a shift
tomorrow so do you want to do something?" She waited.

   "Sure what do you have in mind?"

   "Anything." She paused and I realised I had to fill this gap.  Knowing
her as I do now it was a take it or lose it opportunity and that time I
took it.

   "Pick you up at eight."

   "Seven thirty." She directed, again knowing her as I do she had already
decided what, where and when but I had to make a move to prove myself. 
"We'll go to the Barrow." That was a pub a few miles from town.

   "Sure, see you then."

   So we had a date which ended up in her bed only this time she was so
animated the next morning we missed lectures.  After that we became a
couple and had both amazing sex as well as a bloody good laugh.  Now I have
to admit here I know for a fact Stephanie had sex with someone during the
Christmas break while I was in the US and she remained in England.  She had
a love bite on her neck and breast and when she saw that I noticed she said
a `sorry' and that was all.  I wasn't too jealous since we were still
getting on well and I'd also had sex with a girl who I met while with my
parents, in fact she was quite something and I wondered if I might get
serious with her when I left England and Stephanie for good.  Then it
happened.  It was very strange but our sex life became more and more
extreme, Stephanie was suddenly into both rough sex and role-play and I was
soon into it as well.  She liked to play both angel and devil and as time
went on she would dress for sex with us playing the roles we'd decided on
for that evening.

   It was one night after she'd been tied to the bed and I'd teased her for
over an hour that she told me she loved me.  She was now lying on me
rubbing my chest looking at me when she said it: "I shouldn't because I'm
not worthy of you but I love you." Was exactly what she said.  The very
first time either of us had used the L word.

   "Shit!  I don't deserve you!" I retorted but she shook her head and
kissed my chest.  Anyway the damn burst and she repeated this a hundred
times over the next few months and I began to say the same; that I loved
her, needed her wanted her always...  and then I proposed.  She looked at
me and laughed.  "No!  Mark you're too good for me.  You'll regret it
forever!  You have no idea what I really am or what I need.  No!  Go to the
US and forget me."

   "I want to marry you.  You love me you've told me countless times!"

   "Yes but I love this, us in this room together now, while I'm with you I
love you but..."

   "So marry me and be with me all the time!"

   She refused but I kept on and the more she said no the more I was
determined.  The following day she even told me she needed space but I gave
her very little.  I didn't stalk her or anything just made her aware I was
still around.  In the end she sat me down:

   "Look, you are the greatest guy I've ever met but I'm not worthy of
you..."

   "Rubbish!"

   "I'm not!  Mark I was unfaithful to you at Christmas with..."

   "I know you were but that's ok.  Look I even know that you saw a few
guys when we were first getting to know one another but that's cool as well
and if I'm honest I've been no saint!" I looked at her to gauge the
reaction but she simply nodded.

   "You met a girl in Santa Barbara." She smiled.  "I could tell, just at
first when you got back but then again you knew I'd been unfaithful as well
so I suppose maybe we do have some understanding of one another but still I
really don't think we can compare like for like..."

   "Stop it!  Just say yes you stupid girls!" And she did.

   The wedding was short notice since I really didn't want to spend any
time in the US and both Stephanie and I had been fortunate to be offered
jobs assuming we graduated.  So we married that August and I met my parents
in law for the only time, they were nice and I think relieved to see her
off their hands.  The event was smaller than many as neither of us had much
in the way of extended families and without friends it would have been a
really tiny affair.  We moved into a rented apartment just outside Bristol
between the jobs we had both secured and our new life began only within six
weeks we won the lottery.  The winnings were many millions and after less
than two months as an employed person I had retired.

   Now what happened after that I can summarise quickly.  Stephanie wanted
to indulge her fantasies and without the need to work she decided we should
push the envelope all the time.  My first real taste of what she had been
up to when I wasn't with her came a few months after the win when she
suggested we have a `party'.  This was a private party as she put it with
special invited guests and she then did all the organising.  That Friday
she dressed in an outrageous mini-dress and fishnet tights showing just
about everything then got me to dress in waiter uniform, I thought as a
joke but it was for a reason.  That night three very large black men came
to our house and whist I waited on them they sexed Stephanie for several
hours tossing her about like a rag doll.  If it hadn't been for her demand
that I swear not to do or say anything then I would have put a stop to it.
I did at one point, when two of them were sipping beer and the third was
taking a pee ask her if she was alright to which she replied she was in
heaven!

   So it began.  Stephanie felt she was at last able to show her true
colours and without anyone around that we knew she went wild.  She admitted
to me that at college she'd had sex with so many black men she'd lost count
and even admitted to having sex with three different guys on the weekend
prior to our wedding.  Things began to get nasty after around nine months.
She'd become very dominant by then and was not only acting the slut, she
dress like one for days on end sometimes not washing after sex with
multiple partners.  She used some of these lovers to force me to become
more subservient to her and eventually after a particularly aggressive man
had sex with her one night they woke me bound me and she sat on my face
until I ate her clean.

   From then on she made me do some pretty disgusting things including oral
sex on her before, during and after sex with her lovers.  She tied me to a
bed then took three men one after the other on all fours over me stopping
from time to time to drop her sex (with cum inside) over my mouth to clean.
She arranged for a girl of sixteen to visit us one evening, she was grossly
fat and although it's not PC to say so she was extremely ugly but I was
forced to have oral sex with her in front of Stephanie then the girl rode
my cock before I had to suck my own cum from her.  The whole event was
quite distasteful but Stephanie told me with glee that she was getting all
the fun and wanted to share but didn't want her man falling for another
woman so the girl (Terri) was ideal as she was both unattractive and in my
wife's words `a slapper'.

   For the next six months Stephanie had a score of men.  All big, all
black and all really mean to both of us.  One visit she was dressed like a
whore and on her knees sucking his cock as he called her all the names
under the sun while I was tied to the bed.  He really pummelled her,
pulling her hair, slapping her about and then making her take his cum in
her mouth before she French kissed me while he used her, arse as she played
with me until I came.  Terri was a regular visitor to the house and I was
expected to have sex with her every time.  Eventually she got pregnant and
that was when Stephanie got angry telling me that I was a bastard for
making another woman pregnant.  This was ridiculous of course and I told
her so but she said I had to be taught a lesson.  A week later we went on a
`trip' only she took me to a clinic after hours and I met a black doctor
who with some assistance for his mates put me under and I woke in bed
castrated.

   Stephanie was simply delighted at how well the next six weeks went.  I
had hormones to help the loss of my genitals but these were slowly
withdrawn.  I became listless and lost a lot of weight then one day
Stephanie declared that there was little point me having a cock if it was
not used and I didn't even argue as she told me that in a few months I
would be Marcia.

   Now I went from a twenty three year old man to a twenty four year old
woman with large breasts and a decent figure.  Of course I wasn't pretty
but I must admit I'm ok and after two years of working out , hair removal
and implants I feel like a proper woman only I still don't actually like
men.  Finally after a year or more of this degradation Stephanie announced
she wanted a baby and added that rather than chose a father she'd let
nature decide which man would impregnate her.  What followed was a series
of trips to various night clubs during which she would have sex with any
black man who showed any interest in her.  I was expected to do the same
only of course my `vagina' is just a space between my prostrate and pelvis
but I dutifully let men do me (very unpleasant) so that Stephanie could get
her fill.

   She got pregnant and then had a black baby which she adores.  Terri had
a baby as well only was also black so not even mine but we still paid for
her to buy a flat as compensation.  Today Stephanie is heavily pregnant
with a second child father unknown.  She loves to go wild at least one
night a week yet what has surprised me is the fact we now make love.  That
is to say she treats me as her lesbian lover and that's who I'm introduced
as.  She has even conceded that I hate sex with men so has stopped pushing
me that way.  I'm not happy but I'm a little better than I used to be a
couple of years ago at the height of her slutting.  Of course without the
money she'd not have been able to pay for the operations on me and maybe
this might never have happened at all.