Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #26
March 6, 2002
Reviews are archived at /~TaintedLime/.
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Stories reviewed in this issue:
The Key to the Whole Thing, by theGreatxIam (* * * * *)
Invisible, by ossified (* * * *)
The Vacation, by Big Guns (* *)
Curtains, by Selena Jardine (* * * * *)
Morning Blow, by Tom Thumper (* * *)
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{ASSM} Subway series #5: The Key to the Whole Thing (MF, interr)
By theGreatxIam <max_wojtylak@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35497
The guy in "The Key to the Whole Thing" has the stupidest boss in
the world. Even though they are just bureaucrats in the Department
of Agriculture, his boss makes them work farmer's hours. (Get it?
Agriculture equals farmers?) The only good thing about the work
hours is the sparsely populated subways during the morning and
evening commutes.
Normally the drowsy bureaucrat is content to surreptitiously ogle
the handful of pretty girls who share his early morning train.
Stephen King Lady, Red, Cleopatra ... they have that little
something special that make those early Washington D.C. mornings
seem just a little bit more bearable.
And then one day, Cleopatra drops her keys. Our hero leans forward
to pick them up for her, and somehow he ends up with his nose
wedged somewhere it ordinarily wouldn't be.
Apparently, sex on a subway can be very fulfilling. And reading
about sex on a subway, especially if this is the subway sex story
you're reading, can be very fulfilling, too. I can't recommend
this story enough. The sex is outstanding, and the narrator knows
how to spin an entertaining tale even when his dick isn't buried
balls-deep. And the ending ... well, the ending should not be
missed.
TheGreatxIam has already given us a long string of excellent
stories, but this is the best one yet.
Rating: * * * * *
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{ASSM} Invisible {Douglas Ossified} (mf voy 1st)
By ossified <ossified@hushmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35521
A boy used to be best friends with his sister, and then his
sister hits puberty. A thirteen-year-old boy doesn't get much
attention from sixteen-year-old girls, so when Courtney's friends
all come over for a swim in the pool, the narrator becomes nearly
invisible.
He has a big crush on his sister's friend Allison. When Allison
goes swimming and leaves her panties unattended, he sneaks over
and jerks off into them. Allison returns unexpectedly, giving the
boy time to cover up but no time to clean them up. When she
starts to put her panties on, she feels something unexpected. She
wonders what it could be, and when looking around, the formerly
invisible boy suddenly becomes visible.
At the end, there is a song reference that I didn't get, so the
ending left me baffled, but the rest of the story is very good.
Only a few minor typos mar the technically good prose. And I
liked the idea of an invisible boy, and the author pulls off the
sense of being ignored reasonably well.
This is a very good story of a boy's first exposure to sex.
Rating: * * * *
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{ASSM} The Vacation (lesbian)
By Big Guns <bigguns45acp@hotmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35541
Wow. Tracie graduated from high school at 16, attended a
prestigious university at 17, and graduated in only three years!
She must be one smart cookie.
Tracie should have taken more English classes in college. But
then again, why should she have? She has a 36C rack and majored
in physical education, and, after she inherits a few cool million
from her favorite uncle, she gets to celebrate by taking a
vacation in a swinging resort in Jamaica.
Who needs English classes when life is so perfect?
In the resort's hot tub, Tracie meets Bobbi, a girl with a 40DD
chest, and the girls decide to try on each other's thong bikinis.
(Eww! They need to teach better hygienic practices in Phys Ed
101.)
Anyway, there is some pissing and shaving and anal fingering and
other stuff like that.
If precocious Tracie had taken more English classes in college,
she might have written a more enjoyable story. But she missed
that opportunity, and so she writes like a sixteen-year-old boy.
Of course that's not all bad. What sixteen-year-old boys lack in
polish they make up for in enthusiasm, and the author of this
story is obviously having a lot of fun.
But if unfocussed enthusiasm isn't what you're looking for,
you'll probably want to look elsewhere.
Rating: * *
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{ASSM} Curtains
By Selena Jardine <selenajardine@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35540
A man has a life that isn't going so well. He dislikes his job,
he and his wife have a non-existent sex life, and he's 170 pounds
overweight. After a trip to the doctor, he decides he needs to
work on that weight problem, and he begins walking around the
backyard every day.
He makes enough progress where he feels he can walk around the
neighborhood, and there he discovers many of his neighbors do not
draw their curtains at night. Through one window, he spots a
sweet young blonde studying econ, and he is stunned when she
strips off all her clothes and tosses them in the laundry. Some
long dormant urges are reawakened.
There is a lot to like about this story. The sense of realism
will pull you in. The main character changes and finds himself in
a much happier place. The sex is exciting and happy and
celebratory. What more could you ask for?
This is an excellent, almost inspirational story. Be sure to read
it.
Rating: * * * * *
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{ASSM} Quicky: Morning Blow{Tom Thumper} (FM, oral)
By Tom Thumper <tom9211@hotmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35554
Steve is having quite a dream. He's talking in his sleep, telling
Brittney what he wants her to do, and he gets so boisterous that
he wakes up Cindy.
Cindy isn't bothered about the Brittney dream. In fact, she can't
help but take advantage of that huge erection Steve is sporting.
She takes him into her mouth.
And that's about it. There's some schoolgirl fetish thing going
on in the background, but mostly this story is a woman taking
advantage of a morning erection. While the plot is weak, the
writing is very good, and the sex is excellent.
For a very short story, the author did an admirable job.
Rating: * * *