Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #17
February 12, 2002


Reviews are archived at /~TaintedLime/.

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Stories reviewed in this issue:

a letter to a lover, by Mark Jones (* *)
Quick Lunch Surprise, by Jeff Zephyr (* * *)
as falls cuyahoga, so falls cuyahoga falls 7, by Nicholas Urfe (* * * * *)
Memories and Illusions, by Katherine T. (* * * * *)
Smokin' Hot Sex, Too, by Gary Jordan (* * * *)


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{ASSM} Story (short) a letter to a lover (consentual, oral)
By Mark Jones <eastatoe@earthlink.net>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35154

You open up a story in ASSM, and you read it. It is one of those
stories that tells you you are a woman and you do this and you do
that. Of course you know you are a man and you aren't doing the
things the story says you are doing, so you don't know what you
are supposed to do. Confused, you give up.

This is the problem of second person stories. In almost all
cases, they are personal erotic love letters that the author
decided the world needs to see. And while they may hold some
special meaning to the real participants, they don't mean much to
most readers.

As with most of these stories, replacing every instance of the
word "you" with the word "Sally" would result in a plotless sex
scene. So even without the annoying style of storytelling, there
isn't much of a story.

The romance in this story is nice, and I can tell the two lovers
are very fond of one another. But beyond that, there isn't much
to see here.


Rating: * *

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{ASSM} One Fine Day -- #2 -- Quick Lunch Surprise (MF oral rom cons exhib)-by Jeff Zephyr
By Jeff Zephyr <jeffzeph@hotmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35156

This is the second part of the "One Fine Day" series by Jeff
Zephyr. The guy in this story is having one fine day indeed!

Instead of working at the computer, he's reading porn on the
Internet, imagining her face and body in the lead roles so the
stories come alive. When she arrives home for lunch unexpectedly,
she catches him with a hard-on. She starts to take care of him,
but he gives her an orgasm first. And then she takes care of him
in a very nice way.

I read the two stories of this series in the same day, and after
this second one, the romance gets too sappy. The guy's
worshipping puppy dog bit gets old.

In small doses, this is fine reading. If you read them back-to-
back, though, you may need an insulin injection.


Rating: * * *

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{ASSM} cuyahoga.007 [urfe] [new] (as falls cuyahoga, so falls cuyahoga falls 7)
By Nicholas Urfe <nickurfe@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35155

Seventh in the series of the dysfunctional Cuyahoga family, this
story starts off with mother Vanessa pounding down a martini and
talking to her daughter Addison and Addison's friend Edie about
the fuck Addison and Edie just finished in Addison's room. They
mention the father, Jackson Cuyahoga, and the story shifts to the
airport, where Jackson is picking up his new protege, Torvald.

Most of the story is spent with Jackson and Torvald as they
discuss what Jackson likes from his assistants, which includes
more than just keeping up on the latest articles on gravastars
and entropy.

This sexually exuberant family is beginning to solidify in my
mind, and I must say, a fascinating family it is. You read some
ridiculous stories in ASSM about happy families who fuck one
another, but you rarely see a story where the participants are so
desperately in need of counseling.

This is not an easy series of stories to read. The writing style
is complex, and it takes some getting used to. But if you're
willing to take the effort, you'll be rewarded with a rich look
into a family that crosses a line.


Rating: * * * * *

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{ASSM} Memories and Illusions (FF, lesbian) (Katherine T.)
By Katherine T. <kt1960@earthlink.net>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35157

Flor and Katherine are in Firenze, the last day before they leave
for Paris. It is hot, Katherine is naked, and Flor has one finger
in Katherine's vagina and another finger up her butt. Katherine,
apparently, is a very accommodating lover.

And then Katherine is in a desert with white sand. And then a
party in Chicago. I assume some of these scenes are memories
while others are illusions. Either way, they are all well done.
The opening scene in Italy, especially, is great.

I suppose I could quibble about the story feeling front-heavy,
that the Italian scene overwhelms the rest of the story, but
don't let that sway you away from reading this story. Katherine's
subservient femme is a fascinating character, and she gets in
some very sexy situations.


Rating: * * * * *

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{ASSM} Smokin' Hot Sex, Too {Gary Jordan}
By Gary Jordan <PJcocoa@aol.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35159

This story is a long email message from PJcocoa (also known as
Gary) to "Alexis in Alaska." PJcocoa and his wife are trying to
cut back on the cigarettes and made a deal that they could only
smoke a cigarette after achieving orgasm. It's enough to make a
guy crave a nicotine craving!

They have friends, Jack and Jill, who are also trying to kick the
habit, and they let them in on their idea.

There isn't much explicit sex here, just a bunch of embarrassed
folks talking about sex in a roundabout way. But it's a cute
story, comfortably told. I'm not sure why the story had be an
email message, other than as an excuse to get one last good
double entendre in. Although now that I think of it, that's as
good a reason as any!

(By the way, if the author is reading this, I only noticed one
place where your verbs change tense. Either you did it right, or
you have a damn good proofreader.)


Rating: * * * *