>WHELP, time to make like a banana and kill myself. >Or rather that's the choice i've made. >The sublimation of all options here, the right one is to take >In this case it was the easiest >Oftentime it's not, oftentime it's the toughest choice you'll ever make >But when you've made all the choices up to that point, it's tougher to live with them. >I stumble forward, mind in a haze of thought. >Towards the same blade that took my best friend's life. >Now Anons. >I realize that no story is complete without an ending. >Just like no story is complete without a beginning >So before i tell you how my best friend and i ended up lying on that cold hardwood floor. >Drenched in our own blood. >I'll tell you where we met. >Because every story needs a beginning. >and it should always come before the end. >I'd love to say i had a rather typical childhood, but that was far from the truth. >I was problematic in many ways >Most of it is rather insignificant, unimportant details that don't matter. >But there were a couple things that changed the person i would always be, and a couple that changed the person that i always was. >One of these was that during my young childhood, i got sick >Very sick, deathly ill >I was prescribed antibiotics, some of those harsh ones they don't like to use anymore. >They saved my life. As they are intended. >If you ask a classroom of students how many were sick when they were younger, took antibiotics and wouldn't be around today without them? >It's an amazing revelation when you count. >I'll just say that i was one of them. >But i was too young, prescribed medications far too strong and given dosages wrong for my age. >There were consequences, my gastrointestinal system was wiped nearly clean. >All those digestion organisms that let us eat food, the ones i had were completely wiped out >This happened when i was very little, but it ruined my stomach >I couldn't eat foods i had loved before, entire swaths of menus were off limits and even things such as my metabolism changed over time. >Now i'm not telling you this so you'll feel bad for me, or emphasize with my situation or something. >Nobody gives a shit about those things. >That's the honest god damn truth, nobody cares about how hard your childhood was. >I'm telling you because it changed the kind of person i was >We bought fancy pro-biotics from health food stores, i was fed a healthy diet of various crazy things. >My metabolism came back stronger than ever. >I was skinny, in a family predisposed towards rather "Big Boned" individuals, i was a twig. >I wasn't ever very tall, always the same height (or a tiny bit taller) as all the women i knew. I guess two years of fucked metabolism does this to you. >I was also sick all the time for a good while. >And this made me antisocial, i had few friends >I was a jerk to the ones i did have because i took out being sick on them. >Then i had no friends. >And without friends there's really only one thing that happens >I hated school >I HATED school. >PreK, Kindergarten, 1st, 2nd >All of them were different schools entirely. I went school to school every year until we ran out. >Then we moved, different climate supposed to be "Good" for me. >It was, it really was >California, warm and sunny. >I was enrolled in a fancy school, some kind of private place that i don't remember the name of. >That doesn't matter either >What matters is that we moved, lovely huge house in the middle of los angeles. >My family was middle class when we moved, back before that monetary caste vanished. >Neighborhood full of people i'd never met. >Huge, friendly, not too high a chance of getting kidnapped or having a cap popped in my ass if i roamed around alone. >But i didn't know anyone >So i still had no friends, and still didn't want to have any friends. >The self propagating cycle so many of us know. >Because it's easier to pretend its not your fault, than to change yourself. >My parents made friends though >Every neighbor on the block knew them, ends up the entire neighborhood was ripe with children of different ages. >Middle of summer, kids in the streets. >But one serious problem >No boys my age. >Not a single one >There was one 5 years older, and one three years younger. >The entire rest of the neighborhood was too young, too old, or females >And at that age, boys and girls don't mix >But we were invited by the various parents to a fireworks celebration for 4th of july. >It was out on some giant field somewhere >Big potluck, bring food, spread out a ton of blankets and everyone joins from the neighborhood and eats. >With a bunch of girls, or so i was told by my parents >All of them were older or younger, so i didn't give a shit. >And as expected when the time came to walk, we piled all our food and things in a green plastic wagon and started off as a neighborhood-type group. >Lots of little girls, an older girl or two. >Nobody my age here either. >): >We get to the field, set up huge blankets and tons of food >During the setup i smell a kettle corn stall off in the distance and i beg for money to get some >I mean who doesn't love kettle corn >So i get some dosh from me mum, and head off. >Pop into line >and to my amazement, i'm behind three other boys who seem to be about my age. >all wearing various t-shirts with silly logos and kahiki shorts. >I'm not a sperg, so i said hi. >Bam, wham, instant brothers in arms. >Funny how that always happens when you're young ,and never again when you're older. >I'm off to tell my parents and they're ecstatic or something i'm making friends >Free reign of the place, and i'm given a tour of the grounds >Which means we just run around playing tag and doing various things the entire time. >I would give them names, but most the time we didn't do anything. >We can call them redfish, bluefish and greenfish though. >Because Doctor seuss was the first book i learned to read, and that's a useless tidbit i've wasted your brain space with. >Redfish was loud and boisterous, he was pretty neat and had lots of cool things to tell me. >Greenfish was timid and quiet, seemed like he had something to hide >and Bluefish was a mixture of the two. >We roamed for maybe an hour, and then the announcements that the fireworks would start soon were echoed across the various groups of people. >And Redfish had to leave. >his parents needed him back or something >I got his name, and where he lived in the neighborhood >Pretty far away ): >Sucks >So being three young boisterous boys >we did what anyone would do >Looked for the best place to watch the fireworks >Which just so happened to be a giant oak tree kinda off to the side of the field >Which we climbed (bluefish and i had to help greenfish up) >Giant sprawling branches with plenty of room between the leaves >We all ended up leaning against different things, Blue and I against the trunk, and Green sprawled out on a branch of his own. >It was pretty awesome >The fireworks were loud, brightened up the night sky >Flashes of lights across all our faces every time >Bits of greens on our noses >The whites lighting up our cheeks >The reds across our hair and foreheads >It was loud and explosive >Pretty much what all boys like at that age >The wonderment and brilliance of each firework lighting up our eyes as we watched. >But like all cool explosiony things, they were over pretty quick >But we didn't move >We just stayed in the tree, staring up at the sky >Watching the stars >Staring at the sky. >But green soon heard his name called across the field >He had to go >Names were exchanged >Green lives by red >): >But blue didn't have to leave yet >So he followed me over to the blanket with my parents >They were happy to meet him, he gave them his name and we helped ourselves to food. >Ended up lying, backs on the grass staring at the sky some more >Still in all but thought >Just thinking, or talking shit about stars and whatever we could see >It's a habit i seem to have retained. >But the night was growing later, and eventually Blue has to leave >So i followed him, met his parents >Who weren't very happy actually >The father was rather angry, the mother was happy to see us hanging out together. >That's when i heard her full name >And not her nickname >There was some stupid reason she was in trouble >It's like he didn't care where she was, or who she was with. Just that she hadn't said hello to someone important or other from the father's work. >I share where i live >And her eyes light up >That beautiful emerald i love so dearly to talk about. >My first pair of favorite eyes. >She's a block and a half away from my house >Her parents get introduced to mine >The parents end up walking home along with our neighborhood group of chatty mothers and the gaggling giggle of little girls. >Many whelps, east-side, handle it. >I show her where my house is on the way to hers. >Wave goodbye >She's on my doorstep the next day. >We're off to being great friends, and best friends in what felt like days >Then her friends became my friends >Most of them girls >All of them went to my school too, since it was local >That was stability >Atleast she was. >Rather life preserver in a sea of friendlessness >And introduction to being friends and growing up with mostly females. >Being born into the darkness, ect ect. >It wasn't that bad, it's just like hanging with guys really >They just bitch about different things >And pretend they're nothing alike one another. >But i digress >That was the beginning i wanted to tell. >The start of the story, so now that story can end. >I just hope you were taking notes.