>WHELP, time to make like a banana and kill myself.
>Or rather that's the choice i've made.
>The sublimation of all options here, the right one is to take
>In this case it was the easiest
>Oftentime it's not, oftentime it's the toughest choice you'll
ever make
>But when you've made all the choices up to that point, it's
tougher to live with them.
>I stumble forward, mind in a haze of thought.
>Towards the same blade that took my best friend's life.

>Now Anons.
>I realize that no story is complete without an ending.
>Just like no story is complete without a beginning
>So before i tell you how my best friend and i ended up lying on
that cold hardwood floor.
>Drenched in our own blood.

>I'll tell you where we met.
>Because every story needs a beginning.
>and it should always come before the end.

>I'd love to say i had a rather typical childhood, but that was
far from the truth.
>I was problematic in many ways
>Most of it is rather insignificant, unimportant details that
don't matter.
>But there were a couple things that changed the person i would
always be, and a couple that changed the person that i always
was.
>One of these was that during my young childhood, i got sick
>Very sick, deathly ill
>I was prescribed antibiotics, some of those harsh ones they
don't like to use anymore.
>They saved my life. As they are intended.
>If you ask a classroom of students how many were sick when they
were younger, took antibiotics and wouldn't be around today
without them?
>It's an amazing revelation when you count.
>I'll just say that i was one of them.
>But i was too young, prescribed medications far too strong and
given dosages wrong for my age.
>There were consequences, my gastrointestinal system was wiped
nearly clean.

>All those digestion organisms that let us eat food, the ones i
had were completely wiped out
>This happened when i was very little, but it ruined my stomach
>I couldn't eat foods i had loved before, entire swaths of menus
were off limits and even things such as my metabolism changed
over time.
>Now i'm not telling you this so you'll feel bad for me, or
emphasize with my situation or something.
>Nobody gives a shit about those things.
>That's the honest god damn truth, nobody cares about how hard
your childhood was.
>I'm telling you because it changed the kind of person i was
>We bought fancy pro-biotics from health food stores, i was fed a
healthy diet of various crazy things.
>My metabolism came back stronger than ever.
>I was skinny, in a family predisposed towards rather "Big Boned"
individuals, i was a twig.
>I wasn't ever very tall, always the same height (or a tiny bit
taller) as all the women i knew. I guess two years of fucked
metabolism does this to you.
>I was also sick all the time for a good while.
>And this made me antisocial, i had few friends
>I was a jerk to the ones i did have because i took out being
sick on them.
>Then i had no friends.
>And without friends there's really only one thing that happens
>I hated school
>I HATED school.


>PreK, Kindergarten, 1st, 2nd
>All of them were different schools entirely. I went school to
school every year until we ran out.
>Then we moved, different climate supposed to be "Good" for me.
>It was, it really was
>California, warm and sunny.
>I was enrolled in a fancy school, some kind of private place
that i don't remember the name of.
>That doesn't matter either
>What matters is that we moved, lovely huge house in the middle
of los angeles.
>My family was middle class when we moved, back before that
monetary caste vanished.
>Neighborhood full of people i'd never met.
>Huge, friendly, not too high a chance of getting kidnapped or
having a cap popped in my ass if i roamed around alone.
>But i didn't know anyone
>So i still had no friends, and still didn't want to have any
friends.
>The self propagating cycle so many of us know.
>Because it's easier to pretend its not your fault, than to
change yourself.

>My parents made friends though
>Every neighbor on the block knew them, ends up the entire
neighborhood was ripe with children of different ages.
>Middle of summer, kids in the streets.
>But one serious problem
>No boys my age.
>Not a single one
>There was one 5 years older, and one three years younger.
>The entire rest of the neighborhood was too young, too old, or
females
>And at that age, boys and girls don't mix
>But we were invited by the various parents to a fireworks
celebration for 4th of july.


>It was out on some giant field somewhere
>Big potluck, bring food, spread out a ton of blankets and
everyone joins from the neighborhood and eats.
>With a bunch of girls, or so i was told by my parents
>All of them were older or younger, so i didn't give a shit.
>And as expected when the time came to walk, we piled all our
food and things in a green plastic wagon and started off as a
neighborhood-type group.
>Lots of little girls, an older girl or two.
>Nobody my age here either.
>):

>We get to the field, set up huge blankets and tons of food
>During the setup i smell a kettle corn stall off in the distance
and i beg for money to get some
>I mean who doesn't love kettle corn
>So i get some dosh from me mum, and head off.
>Pop into line
>and to my amazement, i'm behind three other boys who seem to be
about my age.
>all wearing various t-shirts with silly logos and kahiki shorts.
>I'm not a sperg, so i said hi.
>Bam, wham, instant brothers in arms.
>Funny how that always happens when you're young ,and never again
when you're older.
>I'm off to tell my parents and they're ecstatic or something i'm
making friends
>Free reign of the place, and i'm given a tour of the grounds
>Which means we just run around playing tag and doing various
things the entire time.

>I would give them names, but most the time we didn't do
anything.
>We can call them redfish, bluefish and greenfish though.
>Because Doctor seuss was the first book i learned to read, and
that's a useless tidbit i've wasted your brain space with.
>Redfish was loud and boisterous, he was pretty neat and had lots
of cool things to tell me.
>Greenfish was timid and quiet, seemed like he had something to
hide
>and Bluefish was a mixture of the two.
>We roamed for maybe an hour, and then the announcements that the
fireworks would start soon were echoed across the various groups
of people.
>And Redfish had to leave.
>his parents needed him back or something
>I got his name, and where he lived in the neighborhood
>Pretty far away ):

>Sucks

>So being three young boisterous boys
>we did what anyone would do
>Looked for the best place to watch the fireworks
>Which just so happened to be a giant oak tree kinda off to the
side of the field
>Which we climbed (bluefish and i had to help greenfish up)

>Giant sprawling branches with plenty of room between the leaves
>We all ended up leaning against different things, Blue and I
against the trunk, and Green sprawled out on a branch of his own.
>It was pretty awesome
>The fireworks were loud, brightened up the night sky
>Flashes of lights across all our faces every time
>Bits of greens on our noses
>The whites lighting up our cheeks
>The reds across our hair and foreheads

>It was loud and explosive
>Pretty much what all boys like at that age
>The wonderment and brilliance of each firework lighting up our
eyes as we watched.
>But like all cool explosiony things, they were over pretty quick
>But we didn't move
>We just stayed in the tree, staring up at the sky
>Watching the stars
>Staring at the sky.
>But green soon heard his name called across the field
>He had to go

>Names were exchanged
>Green lives by red
>):
>But blue didn't have to leave yet
>So he followed me over to the blanket with my parents
>They were happy to meet him, he gave them his name and we helped
ourselves to food.
>Ended up lying, backs on the grass staring at the sky some more
>Still in all but thought
>Just thinking, or talking shit about stars and whatever we could
see
>It's a habit i seem to have retained.

>But the night was growing later, and eventually Blue has to
leave
>So i followed him, met his parents
>Who weren't very happy actually

>The father was rather angry, the mother was happy to see us
hanging out together.
>That's when i heard her full name
>And not her nickname
>There was some stupid reason she was in trouble
>It's like he didn't care where she was, or who she was with.
Just that she hadn't said hello to someone important or other
from the father's work.
>I share where i live
>And her eyes light up
>That beautiful emerald i love so dearly to talk about.
>My first pair of favorite eyes.

>She's a block and a half away from my house
>Her parents get introduced to mine
>The parents end up walking home along with our neighborhood
group of chatty mothers and the gaggling giggle of little girls.
>Many whelps, east-side, handle it.

>I show her where my house is on the way to hers.
>Wave goodbye
>She's on my doorstep the next day.

>We're off to being great friends, and best friends in what felt
like days
>Then her friends became my friends
>Most of them girls
>All of them went to my school too, since it was local
>That was stability
>Atleast she was.
>Rather life preserver in a sea of friendlessness
>And introduction to being friends and growing up with mostly
females.
>Being born into the darkness, ect ect.
>It wasn't that bad, it's just like hanging with guys really
>They just bitch about different things
>And pretend they're nothing alike one another.
>But i digress
>That was the beginning i wanted to tell.
>The start of the story, so now that story can end.
>I just hope you were taking notes.