>As any wikipedia scientist would know
>That argument was never going to end very well
>But this one ended far far worse than well
>Within moments the girls were upon one another in a flurry of
various dirty underhand attacks.
>Punches
>Hair Pulling
>Biting (Homely, figures right?)
>Slapping
>Kicking
>Name Calling
>Full-blown catfight
>Considering how scantily clad the women were, i could have
happily sat back with a drink and enjoyed the show.
>Homely's panties were fairly visible every time she went on the
offensive
>Her long legs and butt peeking out from under the overshirt
every time she lunged at her current mortal-enemy.
>They weren't flabby, they moved in that taut but firm kind of
way muscly bits do when you're exerting yourself.
>Not to mention the copious amount of jiggling and bouncing her
breasts were doing in that thin T-shrit without a bra.
>And that was just homely.

>Birthday wasn't really winning the fight
>Homely's Bitch-Fu seemed to be a bit too hard to counter, too
many low-handed tactics.
>Birthday's hair was a mess, having been tugged and yanked in
various directions, it was tangled, sticking out and
repositioning itself every time they sparred.
>Her cheeks were alternating between that pale-white that sticks
around a couple seconds after you've been slapped, to a slowly
darkening hue of pink.
>Her bra was half-pulled off, one cup askew after homely had used
it as a handhold for whatever punishment she had attempted to met
out
>Yes that meant one tit was floppin around free.
>And lastly that skirt, leaving just the most tantalizing views
of flesh and thighs as it wafted up and down with each movement
>Sometimes tantalizing shadows that i wish i could have made out
if the lights were on.

>I'm not really sure what i was thinking as i watched this
>I'm not sure what any of us were thinking as we watched it
>Those same "Not Sure" thoughts that flow through most heads
anytime something like this happens
>As we stared on, mouths collectively open in awe.
>It wasn't really until we started listening to what they were
screaming about that we took any action at all.
>Bits and pieces of "I won" or "You lost" thrown about, except
louder
>As Glasses, Raven, Blondie and Myself got up to interject
>we hear that it was a Bet
>That they had been betting against one another on something
>Screaming about it not being over yet as we rushed over to
separate the two.
>Now seperating fighting girls is no easy task
>It took two of us per, i ended up trying to hold back birthday
>Elbowed in the stomach , backhanded accidentally in the
shoulder.
>Angry women are not easy to pull off of one another, but we
managed.
>But the screaming didn't stop
>"I WENT THE FURTHEST" -Birthday
>"HE WOULDN'T LET ME" -Homely
>"ADMIT I WIN" - Birthday

>It's not hard to piece together, this argument is about me.
>Not really about me though, these kicking screaming women seem
to unveil more of the story each shout
>They had made a bet
>A friendly bit of competition of sorts
>From pieces of shouting we could tell it was about who i liked
the most
>About who could get the "Farthest" with me
>To see who could prove once and for all that i liked them better
>Or that they were the more attractive one
>Or more likeable
>Frankly i didn't know the reason because it was lost in the
screaming
>It wasn't a very friendly competition

>All i, and the other girls could hear was that birthday had
seemingly won
>As we had gone "All the way" in her words.
>That i and her were "closest"

>and that homely was an "Ugly unwanted bitch"
>Her words not mine
>Even though i've pretty much been telling you guys the same
thing the entire time
>Atleast i didn't say it to her face ya-know?
>But the cat was out of the proverbial bag
>You can see why homely was winning the fight, when her very
value as a female was at stake.
>But we couldn't really defuse this situation
>I mean there was absolutely nothing i could do
>No amount of words was going to solve the problem that i had
created unknowingly between these two

>Frankly it wasn't even my fault
>I was actually somewhat angry at them.
>All the attention they'd been giving me was fake
>Hot
>But fake
>Plus my sandwich died over this stupid bet
>That's like maximum uncool
>I couldn't tell if all those hot kisses with birthday were fake
or just her playing a game
>I couldn't tell if homely had actually wanted my attention or
just wanted to win the contest.
>It was a pretty shitty feeling, because suddenly you stop
evaluating yourself as some kind of alpha badass and you realize
you've been a toy the entire time.
>I mean it was hot
>I enjoyed the hell out of it
>But i was a toy
>and my thoughts after-the-fact kinda ruined the experience.
>I was no longer in a happy hot-pink-toes mood
>I wanted red, fire engine red.

>There's quite a bit of yelling between everyone
>I'm calling them both idiots
>Blondie's telling everyone to calm down
>Raven's telling everyone to calm down
>Glasses is giggling and holding homely back like a drunken fool.
>The fight has stopped, the shouting has stopped
>Well except for a few choice swear words from each of them
>They both had faces squirmed into contorted positions
>Silently screaming at one another
>They weren't struggling anymore, well homely wasn't
>Birthday still was
>Until she started screaming "LET GO, LET GO OF ME" and writhing
back and forth to lose the arms holding her back
>She gets one arm free and i panic and try to jump between the
girls to make sure they don't fight again
>They don't
>Birthday just glowers at me, her face a mixture of too many
emotions to count
>And she stomps away
>Door slamming in the distance.

>We're all frozen
>Glasses still giggling and holding homely
>Nobody else is laughing, but glasses seems to have found
something amazingly funny about that entire exchange.
>She doesn't say anything though
>Thank god
>Instead it's homely who's the first one who speaks
>It's directed at me
>It's a cry, a plea for help, for validation
>"Why don't you LIKE me?"

>That's not a hard question to answer homely
>Your personality is utter shit, and i would pay for it a
thousand times over if i even hinted at liking you
>But i don't tell her this
>This would get me thrown out of the house by all the women, no
contest
>Instead i say nothing
>and she continues
>"I even offered up EVERYTHING to you, and you still didn't want
it!"
>Nothing but sobbing, a cold fear in these next words.
>"What's WRONG WITH ME?"

>Not an easy situation to diffuse anons

>Frankly i'm not sure i would have been even able to diffuse it
at all unless she had continued
>Her next words gave me the needed fodder even if it was way
worse.
>"You had... s...SEX with her and not ME!"
>That tone of voice was back to anger
>But she wasn't angry at me for supposedly having sex with
birthday
>She was mad that i had turned her down and seemingly went off
and did it with her friend without batting an eye
>She was tearing herself apart on the inside
>There's an easy fix to that
>I had two choices that popped into my head
>"We didn't, she lied"

>or

>"She wouldn't let me"
>Guess which one i picked?

>If you guessed the second one that's where your story ends
>I was found brutally murdered and decapitated in the living room
>None of the women were ever heard from again.
>Except for glasses, who is rumored to be wrestling bears to
death with her bare hands off in alaska or something
>If you guessed the first one though
>You're correct
>For once in my life i didn't pick the answer that would have
made everything a thousand times worse
>It took a bit of prodding for the truth to set in
>I had to go and re-write history, explaining with great detail
that i had not had intercourse with any of the women while they
got me alone in the bathroom to punish birthday.

>Blondie has questions
>Ends up she was listening outside the bedroom door at first
>"What about all of glasses' moaning?"
>This just gets giggles from glasses, who's sitting on the couch
with a smile on her face.
>This is probably one of the reasons blondie was angry at me all
day that i couldn't figure out.
>It takes zero effort to explain i was getting a back-massage to
help my back, and she was just being loud to torment birthday
>This seems like a reasonable explanation and is accepted by
everyone
>Just sounds like something glasses would do i guess
>Except raven

>Raven has no clue what we're talking about
>"What do you mean glasses was helping your back?"
>She's not angry about me possibly having sex with glasses again,
she knew.
>But she was asleep when i got hurt
>Everyone just kind of stares at her silently, waiting for the
first foolhardy soul to try to explain it
>I'm trying to piece together neutral words to ensure that nobody
dies
>Too late
>Glasses has a better plan
>Blurt out the truth
>"Blondie almost killed Storybro"
>She says this with a giggle
>I think she's really plastered honestly
>Doesn't help
>Glasses is such a bro.
>I can barely get between Raven and Blondie in time

>Blondie ends up in a corner with me protecting her from Raven's
angry assault of claws and daggers
>She gets me with an initial Kidney shot right after i put up
Inner Fire.
>Breaks through my power word: shield.
>I'm trying to throw renew and a heal on myself but she
interrupts me with a kick and a sinister strike
>I'm praying that my psychic scream will come off cooldown before
she gets an eviscerate off.
>Her slice and dice seems to wear off just in time and the
assault stops the second i fade and drop aggro.

>It's not really fighting between her and me, she's just trying
to get at blondie before she gets her heartstone cast off


>My pleas of "Wait i'm fine it's ok" and "Stop, don't be angry at
her" are mostly lost.

>I was lying through my teeth anyway, my back still hurt
>On some level she was probably imagining the most insane methods
of blondie-assassination you could come up with
>And it wasn't making it any better that i was trying to stop her
from assassinating blondie on the spot too.

>It's not long before glasses intervenes, homely wanting no part
in another fight.
>Or just having no honor, your pick
>Glasses drags the kicking and angry Raven off of trying to get
behind me
>And does the honors of making the situation ... different.
>I won't say better
>I won't say worse
>Glasses mumbles pretty loudly into raven's ear
>"I saved him, you should be thanking me"


>Raven just gives an exasperated sigh and asks what the full
story was
>So i told everyone to shut up
>And i told as-calmly as i could about what had happened
>What i had felt
>This was the first time actually any of the girls there had
learned what actually was happening to me
>They were too busy fretting over me afterwards to figure out
what had happened, and they had just concentrated on my back
because it was visible.
>Blondie shrinks into the corner trying to make herself very,
very, very small during the course of the story.
>Glasses is heightening the story with sounds of her own, gasps
and "ahhs".
>Even homely seems to be giving out various sounds of dismay at
either me not dying, or how much it hurt
>Possibly the me-not dying part

>But raven is silent
>Tears streaming down her face

>I'm terrified of what i've just unleashed
>It would have been safer to just pretend nothing had happened
>I try to explain that blondie will find a way to make it up to
me
>Point out she's gonna make me some damn cupcakes in the future
and i'm going to get to eat all of them
>Blondie was our resident baker, cookies mostly, but sometimes
cakes.
>Eat all of them probably at the same time
>With lots of frosting and everything
>[spoiler]Yeah i want cupcakes now too[/spoiler]
>This doesn't seem to be about blondie anymore
>Raven has her arms around me and is sobbing into my shoulder


>Which should be sexual, i mean we were both topless still
>But i don't know, i was used to her chest almost
>Like any of the other girls would have breasts that bounced or
swayed as they moved, my attention would shift instantly if any
of them weren't wearing a top
>But hers were small enough that they were firm, almost no
movement.
>Like accessories almost
>Perfect size in my mind, the kind of topless where you can stare
for a moment and go "Those are attractive" and look away.
>Which i'm explaining because the first thought i did have was
that she was now pressing her bare chest against mine.
>A sensation that i enjoyed deeply
>It was warm.
>comforting even.
>But she wasn't comforting me
>She was comforting herself and blubbering words out like a small
child that had lost her favorite toy.
>In the accident that had killed that small child's parents

>She was sobbing words into my chest, but everyone heard them
>Words about how it was all her fault for drinking
>Words about How if she was there she could have realized and
stopped it or saved me
>Words about what she would have felt if she had woken up and i
had been gone
>She poured her emotions out and made us feel like heartless
bastards for how much she felt than we were.
>She seemed to be dealing with just the thought of losing me on
an emotional scale unforeseen by all in the room.
>All i can do is hug her back and remind her i'm still here.
>I try and joke that we can have a funeral still if she wants.
>you know, lighten the mood
>it goes about as well as you would expect

>She just grabs me and sobs harder into my chest
>Of course i made it worse
>I don't think i can fuck up the situation any more i guess
>But she's back to talking
>"Don't leave me!"
>That's what i hear at least, it could be all kinds of things she
said muffled at that angle.
>I just end up just patting her back
>I don't really know what else i should be doing
>the other girls aren't helping
>except for homely who is sitting on the couch now with a blanket
>She takes the lovely choice of interrupting
>"I call the couch, don't cry for too much longer; i'm tired."
>She says that as she wraps herself up and lies down
>Your a dick homely

>But it does the trick
>Raven sniffles and stops crying all over me
>I'm covered in spots of tears and snot
>t.. thanks raven
>Blondie decides to take the chance to dart out of the corner and
past us
>Raven makes a hissing noise and bats at her with a claw as she
runs past
>just barely missing a scratch connecting
>Blondie even lets out the appropriate "eep" noise and hides off
in the kitchen
>Raven's emerald green cat-eyes, glimmering at her from the near
darkness
>We're interrupted by a shirt flying at us from the couch
>It hits me in the face
>glasses is back to giggling again
>Homely announces "It was too tight..." and rolls over in her
blanket.
>that's fine, i just use it to wipe the snot and tears off me and
throw it on the ground.
>Thanks homely.

>Raven ends up stomping after blondie into the kitchen
>I'm about to go intercept and stop her when i find glasses in my
way
>"Don't, they need to talk"

>She seems to have had a moment of clarity
>I know how important "girl talks" can be, but i'm worried about
how much murder will be involved
>Glasses doesn't let me leave, her hand is on mine holding me
back
>*sigh*
>I don't hear screaming, or shouting or hitting from the kitchen
though, so i assume all is right in the world to the point at
which i need not interrupt
>Glasses however is all over me
>She had ulterior motives i guess
>She's really drunk
>Her hands are all over in places they definitely should not be
>On my body and hers
>Comments like "My top is really tight too" are being whispered
in my ear
>I have the clear notion that this is wrong
>That i should not take advantage of her at all, even though her
hand is in my boxers trying to convince me otherwise.
>That i'm not in the mood after the shit that just went down
>I say some of those words
>She mentions that Blondie and Raven need time to talk

>And that i've still got a dare left
>HNNGGGGGGGGGGG

>Fuck it
>I give in to my weak-will
>I know i shouldn't, that i should be concerned about the kitchen
or something, but i'm not thinking.
>We're off in the bathroom
>I dare her to give me a blowjob
>I don't ask for anything more because i am still trying to work
my feelings out about who i really should be chasing.
>But
>She did just get me rock hard, her own damn fault
>She can fix it
>My pants are down faster than a clown
>She's on her knees and starts sucking
>It's perfect, she's got suction, she's got tongue
>I'm in asgard for about three minutes
>Until she stops
>I look down
>She's fast asleep on her knees
>Head of my cock still in her mouth
>I'm pretty sure my laughter can be heard throughout the whole
house.

>She looked absolutely absurd
>She really was drunk and tired,
>Just fell asleep mid-blow
>I contemplate using her to finish up even if she is asleep
>Maybe finish in her mouth, maybe just strip her a bit and jack
off all over her.
>As tempting as they were, the ideas felt a bit too wrong when i
actually had a chance to do them.
>She was still my friend
>It felt like i was degrading her as a person
>It's more fun if she's the one doing it.
>She would probably happily give me a blowjob later if i asked
anyway.
>There were plenty of good reasons
>There's a real moral checkpoint you have to hurdle yourself over
to want to defile a sleeping lady
>Even if she had fallen asleep willingly with my dick in her
mouth.
>The moral of the story is that i pussied out and ended up
jacking off into the toilet
>Still got to oggle her bra-clad tits while i did it though
>I justified that in my head
>figured she would want me to.

>I finish up my fap-session
>Clean up, wash hands, you know just gotta be polite
>It's not my house
>I still kinda feel bad, even though we didn't do anything
>My thoughts linger on the other two girls in the kitchen and i
wonder how long i've been.
>I kinda haul Glasses to her feet, she's half asleep
>Decide i gotta drag her to the nearest sleeping facility
>Which would be the sleeping bags in Birthday's room
>We make the journey down the hallway
>Fighting off snakes and alligators on the river trip.
>Eventually we make it and i try the door
>Locked
>Fuck
>"Birthday let me in, glasses needs a sleeping bag"
>No response
>Fuck
>Out of all the times for her to be a
snotty-attention-grabbing-crybaby

>I lug and haul glasses out to the living room
>There's only one sleeping bag here
>It takes me a full two minutes to get her into the sleeping bag,
giggling in her sleep and all.
>Then another minute to zip it up properly and make sure she's
got a pillow from the couch.

>I turn around and realize we don't have any more sleeping bags
>I mean we've got the one that's in the laundry room but we
aren't using that one
>For reasons
>I just waltz over to the candles and decide i might as well put
one out and take the other with me.
>After i put one out i hear homely behind me

>"Hey perv!"
>Me being an idiot, i turn around
>She's got her chest exposed and the blanket wrapped around her
stomach
>Lovely breasts facing me of course
>"You should tuck me in like you did her?"
>It's a hopeful question
>Luckily in my post-fap clarity i'm capable of thinking
rationally
>I just blow out the second candle and walk away.


>I end up in the kitchen with a single flashlight illuminating
the girls hugging and crying in a corner, all problems solved
>No not really
>They're kinda staring one another off
>Decent amount of distance between one another
>I ask em the simple question
>"Everything cool now?"
>I get a "Yup" from raven and silence from blondie.
>It comes to mind that she's been beaten into submission
>But i see no open wounds or bleeding, so i assume there wasn't
too much damage done.
>I start rummaging around in the drawers for matches to light the
second candle again
>Don't say anything.


>While i'm doing this, i also mention the previously discovered
problem
>"Birthday locked all the sleeping bags in her room"
>This is met by mixed response
>Raven just kind of shrugs
>"You and I can sleep over in the parent's bedroom together, no
big deal"
>She's right, we technically had already slept together over
there.
>But what about blondie
>I ask this
>Raven already has a response planned out
>"She can sleep on the floor, or the guest room or something"
>Oh there it is

>There's definitely still bitch-hate between these two
>They are most certainly not "cool" with one another
>Raven knows firsthand that the guest room is freezing cold and
windy
>That she's pretty much trying to punish blondie in some kind of
mean way when she shouldn't be involved.
>The saddest part is that blondie seems to just be taking it
lying down
>No fight from her whatsoever
>I can't bear to see that happen
>I'm not going to consign a friend to a night of uncomfortable or
cold-sleep when there's rain and wind in that room right now.
>I say all of those words
>And a couple more
>"She can sleep in the parent's bed with us"
>Raven's eyes flash with emerald fire in the flashlight's glow.
>Blondie objects first

>Lots of "I can't" and "I don't want to, the guest room is fine"
>Raven seems to agree, she's making up excuses as to why only us
two can sleep together and with blondie it would be wrong or
something
>I'm not playing this game
>Raven's obviously mad at blondie and beat her down with words
into submission, i'd have to solve this for their own good.
>"I dare blondie to sleep in the same bed as us"
>There we go, problem solved
>Or not
>Raven's mouth starts moving like she's going to overturn my dare
with her own.

>I don't let her
>"I swear to god raven you say a word and i'll hate you"
>She closes her mouth
>It's settled then
>Blondie doesn't argue, she knows it's nicer than anything else,
even if embarassing.

>The bed's fucking huge anyway, she could be miles away from us.
>We're going to all eventually end up in the parent's bed
together.
>When i say eventually it's because none of us are tired yet

>All that adrenaline and fighting and kicking and screaming kinda
had us buzzed a bit
>Plus we hadn't drunk alcohol, and raven was asleep all day and i
had plenty of periodic naps.
>Blondie suggests we eat some cereal
>This is a brilliant plan
>We spend the next 20 minutes by candlelight
>Each crunching on cereal in a slow methodical contemplative kind
of way
>In not-too-cold milk because the fridge was out.

>We didn't really hurry because none of us had anything to say
>It had been a long eventful day, i don't think we needed to say
much of anything.
>Just delicious cereal
>As the rain continued to fall outside.


>Cereal finished
>We're still not tired
>But there really is nothing we want, or care to do.
>Raven makes the move and blows out the candle, turning on the
flashlight
>It's off to bed we go i guess
>The trip is uneventful
>Silent
>The creaking and moving of the house as we walked along the only
noise i remembered
>We reach the bedroom
>The well-sat on and rumpled bed showing off all the action it
had gotten over the day, various people sitting on, lying on or
crawling across it.
>All that history
>Gone the moment raven flipped the covers over

>It's decided i'm going to be in the middle
>Blondie is gonna sleep on the far far end
>Raven the other end
>I point out that we haven't changed into anything
>But we don't actually have pajamas
>I make it a point to strip off my sweatpants and leave my boxers
on
>I'm kind of hoping the other two women will take off more
clothes
>At Least blondie maybe
>Nope
>I even suggest she take off her bra so she'll be able to sleep
more comfortably
>Nope
>She's too embarrassed even though we've seen her naked.
>Oh well...
>We do that thing where we all get in place to sleep, legs under
the covers and all.
>Our flashlight is rather dim at this point, batteries running
low, so we aren't sure if we want to stay up and talk or not
>Raven makes the first move

>She scooches all the way from her side to right next to me
>Turns around and presses her skirt-clad butt right up to my side
>Ahh, she wants us to go to sleep spooning
>Blondie silently watching from across the bed
>Speak now or forever hold your peace blondie?
>Nothing
>Alright then
>I turn over and spoon raven, wrapping an arm around her chest.

>It's rather warm as we pull the blankets over ourselves
>She wiggles her butt against my crotch a couple times
>I'm rather lucky i fapped in the bathroom or i would have to
sleep with a boner
>Which wouldn't be possible
>But i seem to remain soft enough as Blondie flips out the light

>I hear her wrap herself off in the distance and curl up with the
blanket
>I fall asleep to the smell of raven's hair
>Whatever flavor that goddess rán's forsaken bubblebath was

>But i squirm awake sometime later
>I'm warm
>I'm very very comfy
>But i'm not sure why i woke up
>I might be a bit too warm actually
>My back is just as warm as my front
>But that doesn't make sense

>What also doesn't make sense is the hands wrapped around my
stomach
>I realize blondie has slid over and is curled up to me from
behind
>I'm being double spooned
>Awesome
>Her hands are also on my stomach, one of them half in my boxers,
i get to wondering if she's awake.
>I'm not sure how to check though
>I take my free hand and kinda tap hers, see if she's going to
respond
>Nothing
>She must have been asleep for a while now
>Tried to fondle me and fell asleep with her hands there maybe.
>But she could be faking it
>Brilliant idea
>I push down my boxers to about my mid thighs, wasn't too hard
they didn't fit very well anyway.
>I then grab one of her hands and slowly move it to cup my crotch
>Lewd~
>I know
>But she didn't react so i knew she was actually asleep and not
faking it.
>Plus i mean she put her hands halfway there
>I contemplate moving her hand away, but then i smile when i
think of what she'll do when she wakes up
>Probably scream
>I doze off with an evil grin on my face

>I don't wake up to screaming
>I wake up with two soft and smooth hands below the covers
playing with me
>and i was as hard as contra without cheats.
>Blondie seems to have been fondling me in various ways while i
was sleeping
>Maybe curiosity, maybe a tad bit of perversion, but she probably
didn't know i was awake.
>Her hands are smooth, soft... gentle and warm
>She's not being abrasive, or chafing me in horrible ways.
>It's actually quite nice, even tickles a little bit, but
pleasurable the entire way.
>Her soft fingers stroking upwards and downwards, cradling,
smoothly running across all my features.
>She's quite good at this, or her accidental exploration is
simply hitting all the right tactile levels
>Either way, i'm not too far off from an orgasm myself


>I almost can't stop myself from giving a couple thrusts forward,
even though i know nothing would happen.
>It's right after i almost give one of these thrusts that she
pulls one of her hands away, and stops the movement with the
other.
>I can hear her mouth open, her hot breath on my neck as i'm
facing away from her
>Then a long, wet crackly sound
>Her hand comes back around and touches me down below
>It's wet and slippery
>She licked it
>With the new-found lubrication her strokes are slower, more
methodical
>Every time her hand ridges the head of my penis i feel the
nerves all the way up shudder a bit of a shock through me
>It's a completely different experience to doing it myself
>I have no control, no knowledge of what's going to happen next
>It's an amazing experience
>But like all amazing experiences, this one has to end sooner
rather than later
>After a couple more of her wonderful strokes, i do slight my
hips forward a tiny bit
>This is accompanied by a spasm or two across my entire dick, no
controlling that.
>And i squirt a numberless amount of times, plastering raven's
lower back, skirt, and blondie's hands with copious amounts of
thick liquid
>Now THAT is comfy.
>I give an internal sigh as one of blondie's hands snakes away
again
>An apprehensive pause...
>That same hot hurried breath on the back of my neck
>That same crackling wet sound
>I throw on a satisfied smile and fall asleep again.