>The cabinet that had been blocking the door was being moved
>Ohnoohshitohnoohshit
>If you had forgotten, i was lying naked in a pitch black
bathroom, in the bathtub, with my penis very much still inside of
my childhood friend
>and 3/4 of the girls that could be outside that door would
probably kill me if they found out.

>Our clothes were somewhere on the dark floor, in soaking puddles
of water and probably chunks of vomit
>We had just emptied the tub, so there was no way to wash them
without alerting the girls.
>There were no towels in the bathroom, nothing to cover ourselves
with.
>There was no light, so finding an escape route would be
impossible.
>I really doubt you forgot though
>I was fucked in every literal, figurative and some
neo-nonclassical instances of speech.
>Well i would have been completely fucked, if i hadn't been
holding in my arms one of the most brilliant girls i'd ever met.

>We hear the grunts and stomps of the girls outside.
>In my panicked mind it sounded like an army of angry
rhinoceroses
>But if they had known that they would have killed me harder.
>rearranging and undoing whatever voodoo magic they had used to
seal the door closed.
>Tribal chants, rain dances, ritual sacrifice; you know.
>Raven and I have absolutely no clue what we're supposed to do,
so of course we do the smartest thing.
>Nothing
>We just lie there hugging one another frozen in fear.
>Best plan
>But the grinding and scraping abruptly stops
>"Hey, are you two friends again?"

>Straight to the point as always Birthday.
>I'm not sure what i'm supposed to say
>Do i say yeah we're friends again
>Are we friends again?
>I did try to kill her, we probably aren't friends again
>But i mean we did have sex
>we probably aren't friends again.
>It was really good though
>Yeah we're probably not friends.
>I don't get a chance to announce my conclusive findings however
>Raven has come to the same conclusion
>"No, we can't be friends anymore"

>Ohh...
>Ouch, that really hurt
>You're kind of a dick raven
>My remaining heartstrings just all kind of snap at the same time
>Was probably twice as painful as if i had just said it myself.
>Actually really hurt
>Bout to show this bitch what i think about not being fri-
>Wait a minute that card
>Let me go over the tapes
>Slow mo
>"Noooooo, weeeeeeee ccaaaannnn'''ttttt beeeeeeee FRIENDS
annnyyyymmmmooreeee"
>Friends
>Liberty Bell
>Can't be Friends
>Oh that makes perfect sense actually
>She's implying we're something more now.

>That's kinda cute raven
>"Sorry" for calling you a bitch in my head.
>Yeah i actually said sorry out of the blue.
>It was quiet, only she heard it, but the rest of the thought
just didn't come across
>I do that sometimes, rarely, but sometimes.
>i always imagine people that say sorry constantly are doing the
same thing
>Entire conversations, entire wins and losses that they feel bad
for and all you get is the "sorry".
>I'm sure she looked at me funny
>Actually i think she rolled a natural 20, because her glare of
"Cause awkward discomfort" hit, even though i couldn't see her.

>It's ok she deserved the sorry
>She takes it kind of funny though, because she wraps her arms
around and hugs me tighter.
>The girls outside the door are letting out various noises
>There's a bunch of sighs, a couple "I told you so-s" and
birthday who seems to just be really angry for some reason
>"Fine! We'll lock you in there longer"
>It's birthday, she sounds exasperated and furious
>like her master plan had failed
>Phew, we're safe
>More dark bathroom sexytimes confirmed
>"That's Mean Birthday!"
>"We should let them out!"
>It's blondie
>Dooming us all.

>The other girls seem to agree with blondie
>"Yeah they've been in there long enough"
>Homely please stop, don't say anymore
>"This was a stupid idea anyway"
>Glasses no you don't understand
>"Fine!"
>Birthday no don't agree, fight them please
>"We'll let them out..."
>No, please Loki, Thor, Zeus, Apollo, Aquaman! Save me!
>The scraping resumes outside, it had to be them moving the
cabinet all the way away from the door.
>I didn't have the option of not-moving anymore, i had to get up
and act
>So i start to pull away from Raven, climb out of the bathtub
>Except she won't let me
>She won't let go
>She's hugging me as tightly as she can
>Even managed to get her legs behind my hips.
>She whispers in my ear, quiet, soft, confident
>"Let them see"
>Brilliant i tell you
>At getting me killed.

>Yep thats it anons, this is the part where the girls opened the
door and i was murdered
>Just a brutal thing, blood all over the bathtub, the walls
>Most of my gentleman bits ended up in the toilet and were
flushed away
>Not a pretty sight
>But that's a lie
>That's what would have happened if i hadn't been holding one of
the most brilliant girls i'd ever met in my arms.
>Because she was holding one of the unluckiest males at surviving
female encounters unscathed she'd ever met in her arms.
>And he had a plan.
>A terrible, unlikely-to-go-well-plan
>"Wait" He yelled
>"We Need Clothes" He screamed

>The girls flitted around like angry shrimp outside the door
>"What do you mean clothes..." The birthday girl growled
>"Ooh, What were you two doing!" The homely one squealed in
excitement
>"Be quiet" He yelled
>"This is your fault" He cried
>"You threw us into a bathroom; cold and wet!"
>His words echoed through that very place.
>"Raven still sick; Pizza didn't go down well!"
>He tried to sound confident, he tried to make them understand
his lie
>The girl he was with didn't like it one bit, she started to
complain
>Before he clasped his hand over her mouth
>held her close
>She would have to let go to squirm away
>to talk
>Trapped in a vice of her own creation, the girl stayed silent

>He continued his elaborate ruse
>"She threw up, it didn't go well"
>His voice was somber, his feelings clear
>His plan had worked
>The girls felt bad
>Guilt for trapping a sick friend,
>Guilt for the darkness

>Guilt for the most imaginative awful situations that had
transpired
>The guilt card, remember it's the most effective at winning any
situation involving women anons.
>My impossible task completed, i now had an explanation for why
we were naked, wet and our clothes were on the floor

>I didn't have to explain what had happened, they would do that
for me in their heads with guilt.
>But that penis part
>That's gonna get me
>I'm pretty sure no matter how convincing i am i can't get the
girls to believe it "Slipped in"
>The girls outside are discussing what to do about this whole
clothes situation
>Buying us time
>"Raven pls let go"
>"No"
>I'm doomed
>Blondie outside has established that we've both seen her naked,
so she'll go get the clothes and bring them to us
>Double Doomed

>I have time, i can bargain with Raven
>Plead and beg for my life
>"What do you want!"
>Im frantic but quiet, i don't want the girls outside to hear
>"You"
>One word, a whisper
>Triple Doomed.
>I try to tell her i don't negotiate with terrorists
>That i can't give her what she wants right now
>That she's got to release the hostage and we'll talk.
>She's not having any of it
>She's unmoving, firm.
>Her terms are clear
>The snipers don't have a clear shot
>She might kill the hostage if i try to help it escape.

>I've got no plans
>No ways out of this
>Might as well go out in a burst of glory i guess
>I inform the hostage he's on his own, we're pulling out.
>Then i start pumping into her again
>A much as she'll allow with how tightly she's holding me.
>As little as it is, after a couple thrusts she completely
relaxes her grip and stance
>I see i might have an opening
>I pull out farther and farther each time
>Its a trick silly girl, you can't comprehend my master planning
>Even if it was just being horny (sometimes that's a plan i
guess)
>I get to pull out more and more each time
>I know my time is running out, blondie could be back any minute
>The progress is slow, but each time i pull out i press into her
harder, faster.
>I know she's got to drop her guard sometime
>The moment arrives, i reach the threshold, the tip is all that's
left to pull out.
>All i have to do is move my hips backward just a bit...
>Ahh fuck it
>I plunge all the way back to the hilt
>This is a loud gasp from the girl sitting on my lap
>I'm almost worried the girls outside heard it
>I'm not quite sure how they don't hear the wet squelching sounds
>[spoiler]No slapping, i was smarter than that, had to be slow at
the very base[/spoiler]
>So i go back to shamelessly fucking Raven's brains out.

>It's desperate
>We both know we have no time left
>We can hear footsteps in the distance
>Getting closer each thrust
>The girls making smalltalk outside
>They weren't saying anything important, but the fact that they
were so close was electrifying.
>Terrifying
>Hot as fuck
>Raven's still completely silent aside from breathing, a boon in
this situation if there ever was one.
>But it was all too soon before we heard the footsteps settle
outside.
>Our frantic pace still too slow to reach the climax i
desperately wanted
>The doorhandle began to turn
>The jiggling clicking ringing in our ears
>I pulled out completely
>Pushed her softly down beside me, both lying on our backs in
darkness
>Blondie didn't take long to close the door behind her and find
us with the flashlight
>We had been seconds away from discovery
>And from getting off.
>I have a blank sheet of paper right here
>It's got a list of all the things i wouldn't give to have just
had 20 more seconds before blondie showed up.
>But we were lying on our backs, safe now.
>As frustrating as that was.
>There was still a problem though
>I had a raging boner and blondie had just shined her flashlight
directly on it.
>Quadruple Doomed

>Except for that brilliant girl part
>You see maybe raven was teasing me before about letting them
find us together
>Maybe all she wanted was to roll away at the last second like we
had done
>Riding the edge of excitement
>Or maybe i had changed her mind
>Whatever it was, she played the part perfectly
>Raven squealed seconds after the flashlight hit my crotch
>"Eew you're hard!"
>"Disgusting!"
>She punctuated this by jumping up and moving away from me in the
bathtub
>Her acting was priceless, perfect
>The laughter outside assured me the women had heard
>It also helped the boner start to die a shameful sad death
>Blondie hadn't moved, but i could imagine she had wide-eyes
behind the beam of that flashlight.
>She seemed properly defused by raven's acting
>No anger at seeing me hard for another female
>[spoiler]You see anons, by Raven pretending she didn't know i
had a hard-on, the situation changed from erotic, to just me
being a typical male pervert[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]No jealousy against raven at all[/spoiler]
>Miraculous success, all limbs intact
>She hands us a pile of clothing each and we begin dressing.
>She's staring at me the entire time.
>I don't feel like a piece of meat.

>We seem to have clothes on again
>Jeans, Red Girls boxers and a Green T-Shirt
>The T-shirt was actually pretty small, might have been a really
old one of birthdays before she had a chest.
>really accentuated my lack of manly muscle pretty well.
>Blondie and her elaborate fashion skills has given Raven a
matching outfit... again
>Jean skirt, Green tank-top
>But it seems birthday is running out of clothes because she gets
some worn looking white panties to go with it.
>I guess 5 people constantly needing to change for stupid reasons
does that to a girl's assortment of clothing.
>That or she just didn't have any pairs of red panties
>I silently hoped it was the first one.

>We're able to inspect the damage done to the bathroom with the
flashlight blondie brought in
>There's actually a lake on the floor
>Our clothes are indeed soaking wet and have what look to be
disgusting chunks of partially digested pizza on them
>There's blood all over one of the rims of the bathtub
>I turn the flashlight away quickly and focus it on the mess on
the floor
>I indicate that we should clean it up to blondie, trying to
distract her from what i've seen.
>Blood
>Fuck
>Panic
>I look at raven thinking i hurt her somewhere and didn't realize

>Trying to piece together if it was her cherry i broke and
somehow got blood up there
>Didn't make sense, we were in the water.
>The flashlight's light glances across her arms for a moment
>Her fingernails are blood red, she's got brown and dark dark red
splatterings across the backs of her hands.
>she had held them on my back or shoulders the entire time
>they weren't in the water
>I'm worried i had deep scratches on my back and didn't realize
it, maybe i leaned against the rim of the tub.
>That must be it.
>I take her aside and force her to wash her hands, wash away the
blood.
>I'm trying to get her to check my back for me without blondie
realizing.
>If i was bleeding that much it might bleed through the shirt and
that would be really bad.
>Besides showing the girls some crazy shit went down
>it would ruin birthday's shirt.
>[spoiler]Blood is awful to get out of clothes anons[/spoiler]
>We're picking up the clothes and throwing them in the tub
>Blondie calls for towels from outside and the girls scurry off.
>I manage to get the hints across to raven

>I hand her the flashlight and she checks my back
>"Nothing"
>What the hell?

>I return to cleaning up the clothes on the ground and trying to
fix this dark-bathroom-disaster
>Then the light from the flashlight shines on my left hand wrist.
>Blood
>Everywhere
>It looked like my wrists had gone through a barbed wire fence
>Fuck fuck fuck what happened
>What did i do
>I rush over to the sink and start cleaning away the dried blood
>I could just see the skin through the faint light of the
flashlight
>deep, long scratches up and down my forearms
>Tears, cuts, some of them still bleeding
>I might have been dripping all over the floor for all i knew
>Fuck these look terrible
>They didn't hurt actually, i mean stung a little when i put
water on them, and they were obviously bleeding
>But they didn't hurt too bad
>I was alright, i would live
>But there was no way in hell i was hiding this from everyone.
>I feel a head lean over my shoulder as i'm trying to clean my
arms off
>A gasp
>Thats not one of the gasps i'd been listening to for the last
hour.

>Its blondie
>I'm fucked
>I'm trying to turn around and get a hand over her mouth
>I'm way too slow for that
>There's screaming
>Everyone barges into the bathroom
>Flashlights everywhere
>Can't hide anything
>There's blood on the floor, on the rim of the bathtub
>There's the ever present question of "What happened?"
>A question i can't answer
>I can't tell them what went on in here, not even slightly
>I'm attacked with questions, i don't have a choice but to make
something up
>I have no answers i can give
>"It was r...raven s..sh..e-
>The girl in question interrupts me, all flashlights instantly
focused on her face
>"We fought.... eventually he understood my point of view."
>She swallows hard as she says this

>This goes down surprisingly well
>There's quite a bit of screaming from birthday, i couldn't
really hear what was being said over the volume.
>Lot of anger though
>Lots of threats of violence
>Homely is screaming too, right in raven's ear
>She's shriveled up into a corner taking it all without saying a
word.
>Glasses is telling Birthday how stupid she was for locking us up
together
>Blondie is trying to pull me away, off to the kitchen to bandage
me up or something.
>She does play the healer after all.
>I'm whisked away by Glasses and Blondie
>They get me halfway across the room via medevac
>I stop them
>I frantically whisper to glasses "They don't understand, don't
let them hurt her"
>I didn't know what birthday was capable of, but i wasn't liking
the sound of whatever was crashing and being thrown in the
bathroom
>Blondie still whisks me away, leaving a pair of
slightly-confused glasses hovering and shining
>The vanishing beam of the flashlight diminishing as we leave the
room.


>Whatever sounds were going on in the bathroom, as soon as we
reached the hallway they quieted down.
>I hoped this meant glasses was doing what i asked her to, and
not that the section of the house was really that soundproof.
>All i could hear was our footsteps on the cold hardwood floors
>And the barrages of questions that i refused to answer.
>Blondie was trying, each one more inquisitive
>"What happened!?"
>"Did she hurt you anywhere else?"
>"Are you feeling alright, dizzy or anything?"
>"Did you atleast get her back?"
>The last one made me laugh a bit
>Oh man if only she knew
>I handed Blondie the "Yes" she wanted.
>She seems to be satisfied with this answer as we reach the
kitchen.

>There's a candle lit by the sink, and a big flashlight Blondie
grabs and turns on
>Much better light to inspect the damage
>[spoiler]Now anons, you might think "Oh they can't be that
bad"[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]I think you misunderstand, humans that fear for their
lives do not go down without a fight. Our bodies pump adrenaline
until we're going to burst when our lives or the lives of a loved
one are in danger, and this gives us strength far beyond what we
are normally capable[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Dying men can bend steel, Mothers can lift entire cars
to save a trapped child[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]The dying in this case was Raven, a teenage girl with
short, but rather sharp fingernails[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Her scratching, scrabbling at the wrists and arms of
me, the person holding her down, was powerful enough to rip
through my flesh and leave deep cuts to the muscle[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]If she had any longer fingernails, i have no doubt i
would have a severed artery.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]In this case they weren't life threatening, but i
deserved it, and i would probably have a scar or two to remember
that "moment" by.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]Oh and it didn't hurt at all because i hadn't been able
to see it. As soon as we got a good look i was doing mental
"OWWWWs" realizing how deep some were[/spoiler]

>Blondie seemed pretty worried about them
>Making a big deal out of nothing i tried to assure her, but she
wouldn't take that as an answer
>She left, rummaged around in a drawer and came back with a first
aid kit
>It always amazes me how some women seem to always know where
everything is in houses that don't belong to them.
>Woulda taken me days to find that kit.
>I'm not really with her in thought though, i'm staring out the
kitchen window
>It's still kinda raining, very softly outside
>I can just see the drops splattering against the window pane
>Like blood
>Fuck, i was feeling pretty shit after seeing my wrists
>I definitely deserved what happened to them, what the fuck was
wrong with me for acting the way i did.
>Plans to grovel at raven's feet later are soon formed
>I'll have to buy her cho-
>My thoughts are interrupted as i see a flash of silver in
blondie's hand
>She's unscrewed the cap on a bottle from the kit
>She's holding my arms in the sink
>Its alcohol

>BLONDIE NO

>its too late
>I rip my arms away too late
>She's already covered them in a liberal amount of the burning
stinging liquid
>A liquid that you're absolutely should never ever ever pour into
deep wounds.
>I'm on the ground screaming
>Actual screaming
>Fucking screaming.
>Fucking alcohol is for fucking small cuts, even then you fucking
rarely need it
>But not fucking mauled by a tiger entire fucking wrists are
fucking bloody cuts
>This was just fucking cruel
>This was agonizing fucking burning pain
>I'm screaming obscenities at her, at the kitchen, insulting
various appliances
>She knows she's fucked the fuck up
>She's quickly on the ground fucking trying to dry my wrists off
with a fucking towel as i'm letting out "Fucking oohs and Fucking
Ahhs"s of fucking suffering.
>It's really not fucking helping

>It really fucking hurts
>Fuck

>Around blondie, never relax.
>Every time i let my guard down she hurts me in some horrible new
way.
>It's impressive actually
>I've got to stop trusting her
>But as soon as the pain had faded to the same tolerable levels
of every other wound i had sustained this sleepover
>I opened my eyes
>Big mistake
>She was kneeling over me, trying to make sure i was ok
>Her face had a real look of concern, a practiced guise for an
assassin of her caliber
>Her eyes were wide, her face frowning and worried.
>But it worked
>My heart melted
>"I'm so sorry, i keep hurting you!"
>Her voice is a songbirds saddened cry
>She clasps my hands in her own, the warmth against my fingers
matching roughly the burning heat of my wrists.

>"Every time i try to help, or you try to help me you get hurt"
>She's got a distinct frowny face on
> ):
>That one, right there
>It's making me sad just looking at it
>I can't help but forgive her
>I mean not really forgive her, i say a couple choice words
>"You owe me... so much"
>I was really not painless during these words, probably grimace
them out.
>Those words
>She better fucking believe it
>She seems to already know though

>"I know, i'm so sorry, i even slapped you earlier and you didn't
deserve it!"
>What
>Why didn't i deserve it now
>She sounded sincere as fuck
>"Glasses told me she stole your boxers while you were showering
as a prank"
>Glasses is such a bro.

>"I feel bad, you were saying such nice things"
>I'll be honest anons
>You might remember
>But i don't remember any of the nice things i was saying
>When they call it whispering sweet nothings, that's because they
are nothings.
>I was too preoccupied with everything hurting
>I think the alcohol had shocked the rest of the rest of my body
into hurting again
>Had some endorphins left keeping me happy, yeah those were gone.
>God fucking damnit fucking blondie fuck.
>I get back up and rush over to the sink to wash my cuts again
>This time keeping blondie at arm length
>She's not allowed, worst healer ever.
>She's still trying to get close and help again though
>"Please don't push me away"
>.... that sounded cliche blondie, what are you trying to sa-

>"You're so nice to me and then i just keep hurting you"
>Songbirds crying
>She needed to stop that
>It was making me sad
> ):
>I'm not falling for her charms though
>I know better now
>well i thought i knew better
>"Come on, i can make it up to you!"
>Her voice was chipper, she seemed to be trying to cheer herself
and me up.
>I'm thinking about it.
>I grab her wrists and hold them together above her head
>It's cute, like i have a little marionette
>If i wanted i could twist her and turn her any direction i
wanted

>But i didn't twist and turn her, i just pulled her arms up until
she was on tiptoes
>I knew what i wanted
>I glared her in the eyes
>Hard, cold stare, as serious as i could be
>"Stop hurting me first"
>There, i said it
>I think she was expecting something completely different
>Her frown vanished
>Her eyes drooped slightly

>I couldn't see her eyes as well as i wanted
>But the sky blue turned a cloudy grey.

>I dropped her arms and decided it was time to walk away
>Return back to the mess in the bathroom, help clean it maybe
>I trusted glasses to have solved the situation amicably, but i
wanted to make sure.
>Not to mention every moment i spent near blondie was endangering
my life
>I kinda left her there
>I doubt she was crying or anything
>i doubt she was taking it badly at all.
>Blondie had a habit of taking things like that and making them
better, in her head, in reality, whatever she did.
>She was most likely working out ways in her head to inform her
employers that she couldn't complete the job
>Tell them she was alright with not getting paid, i just wasn't
worth it.
>She was a strong girl, i wasn't worried
>But i kinda wanted nothing to do with her
>Stay as far away from her and maybe, just maybe i might survive
>But little did i know.

>I returned to the bedroom
>I had grabbed a roll of those Gauze bandage wraps and was
rolling them absent mindedly over the cuts as i walked
>I kinda had em wrapped enough to hold my arms together, so i
figured i was good, cut the roll with my teeth, made a crappy
knot on each wrist and pocketed the rest.
>I imagined that i probably looked like some edgy shirtless anime
protagonist
>I didn't
>But i sure felt beat-the-fuck up like one after a serious
battle.
>I walked in to find Raven having what seemed to be a time-out on
the bed
>Arms crossed, pout on her face
>Looked like a very unhappy girl
>I make the mistake of trying to sit next to her on the bed
>"GET AWAY FROM ME STORYBRO" - My full name here, rare
>This is angry unhappy girl yelling
>Eep, s... sorry raven
>She's either in an awful mood, or still trying to convince
everyone we're on bad terms
>I pray for my life that it's the second one.
>Her outburst is matched by homely telling me to "Stay far away
from raven" and that she's in trouble.
>Its like they're implying she's getting punished or something
>Birthday confirms this is the case.
>Alright, ill get the hot wax and oil i guess.

>They're just sure how they want to punish her yet
>Cleaning the bathroom while they decide
>I join them, might as well
>I end up with a washcloth rubbing away the blood i'd left all
over the place
>I feel a little better scrubbing it away, made it feel like i
was erasing what happened here.
>They're coming up with all kinds of silly and inane punishments.
>Making her make us food and be everyone's butler for the rest of
the night
>Make her be a footrest for everyone next time we play vidya.
>Making her "Service" us all once
>This last one was birthday's idea
>I was kind of worried as to what that meant.
>I offered to come up with and deal the punishment for raven
myself.
>Why not right, i could pretend i was evil and harsh and i
wouldn't do anything mean at all.

>I turn around and give her glaring-face a wink as i try to make
this move.
>"You can't... you were her friend"
>This is Homely
>I try to establish how inanely girl-logicy this is
>You know that entire part about how i'm somehow going to be
nicer to her because the crime was against me.
>Why i tried, i honestly don't know.
>I mean she was right, that was my plan
>But her reason
>The typical "You just don't understand the situation" response.
>I swear
>Fuck women, seriously

>The bathroom cleaning goes rather quickly with 4 people, the
clothes are wheeled out by homely after a quick rinse and the
blood is mostly gone.
>All the wet towels to follow the clothing to the laundry room
>After we're done, it's back to being more or less the same level
of clean it had started.
>Job well done, i try to plop back on the bed near raven
>She just scooches away
>Still acting i hope
>The other girls see her actions and take it as some kind of sign
that i was "Open"
>Glasses is the victor of the race and ends up in my lap,
straddling me as i lay down on the bed
>Homely and Birthday don't take this too well, with pouts and
everything
>Glasses gives no shits, all i know is that i'm being snuggled
from above for a full five or six minutes before it's decided
what we're going to do next. Birthday makes the announcement
>Back to poker
>Alright
>Dare-only poker
>I can handle that
>Raven's not allowed to play
>Fuck that shit
>"No seriously just fuck that shit"
>Those are the words that came out of my mouth
>I also called birthday a bitch, shit friend and accused her of
trying to start shit between everyone
>This made her shut up quick with her "rules"
>Either everyone plays or we don't play, thems the rules i threw
down.
>Nobody has any argument
>Aight bitches we playin poker

>So fucking done with birthday's rules
>That's all i'm thinking as we trudge along as a group out of the
bedroom
>Raven manages to sneak up beside me and give my arm a little
squeeze
>I take this as a "I'm not mad at you and thanks for getting me
into poker" kinda message.
>But knowing raven it could have been anything.
>"Listen there's polar bears chasing us we should hurry up"
>"I think glasses is wearing white underwear, so pure"
>"I hate you"
>I pretend her squeeze meant the thing i wanted it to mean
though.
>The rest of the gaggle of girls is relatively quiet
>I guess me yelling at birthday kinda dampened moods
>It didn't matter in my head, i really wasn't going to deal with
more of this cutting people out of the fun female drama that kept
going down.
>competition is all right and good, but when you start cutting at
your friends to win? That sucks man.

>We arrive at the living room and blondie is already there
lounging on the couch
>Probably assumed we would show up eventually
>She was right
>There's the old setup of two-candles, a couple flashlights and
the room is bright enough to play cards by
>Can even see a clock on the wall, 9:15, they had locked us in
that bathroom for like 2 hours.

>Dicks.
>We set up in a rather large circle, sitting knee-to-knee cross
legged.
>Least i do, blondie does and glasses does. Homely isn't wearing
pants still and birthday/raven are wearing skirts.
>Can't have them appearing non-ladylike can we
>Even though i had seen most the feminine charms of every girl in
the circle, they were all modest as mice.
>Cute
>Lets fix that.

>I throw down the rules
>Poker, No fancy card-value bullshit, normal rules, winning hand
gets a single dare against a single person.
>You can choose to not perform a dare, but the next dare you win
is forfeit to cancel it.
>If you're already in debt, you can either choose to do the old
dare, or the new one. But whichever one you don't choose is now
in your debt pile.
>Can't give the same dare to someone holding onto it already.
>Simple, gives people an out from doing things they really don't
want to do (always a buzz kill when someone gets dared something
too far and quits the game) but makes sure they can't cop out of
everything.
>Plus i'm really fucking good at poker when i'm paying attention.
>I hand the deck to glasses, she cuts, shuffles it kinda funny
and deals.
>I get a royal flush
>that's not even being good at poker
>It's like some heaven sent sign that my luck is going to change,
>Oh man this is gonna be great.

>"Blondie, shirt, off"
>I don't even hesitate, they've all got clothes back on and i had
them so nicely-half undressed too from before.
>Frankly if i can get topless i would be happy.
>"I'll hold onto it"
>What
>Come on blondie i know you have a bra on

>That's not even a bad dare.
>We were all so happy without shirts on earlier
>I... i was happy
>She doesn't seem to want to change her mind
>Man blondie you suck.
>Alright... whatever
>Next hand is dealt
>I win this one too, amazing cards
>I can't challenge blondie again so i just move down the line
>"Alright, birthday, Shirt, off"
>"I'll hold"
>w... seriously?
>This is some bullshit

>Two hands later and i'm just confused
>Firstly i'm winning by miles every time, amazing cards
>I don't even have to hit, that's absurd by poker standards.
>Secondly nobody seems to be hitting besides raven, they're just
giving up the hands they have.
>Next up, Glasses and Homely also refused to take off their
respective shirts.
>Homely i understand, i mean i'm pretty sure that's straight to
tits free, but Glasses?
>I've got an odd feeling something is horribly wrong here.
>Next hand is dealt
>I win again
>I was even watching glasses' hands this time, she didn't feed me
anything special.
>Atleast it looked like she didn't
>It comes to mind that the girls had just rigged the deck and
were biding time until it got properly shuffled.
>I wasn't ok with this
>I was pretty sure glasses was responsible, or they hadn't
planned on having Raven here in the first place and the entire
order was fucked.
>I ask to see the cards for a second
>"No, you might cheat!" - Homely
>Glasses has her "This wasn't my idea for once" face on.
>Yeah the deck is rigged