>I leave the bathroom with glasses in close-proximal tow
>I know its a bad idea to just tromp back into the living room
directly with her following me.
>Raven and Blondie are already emotional landmines ready to go
off, and Birthday can just up-and-start hating people right away
anytime she wants.
 >Fuck if i even knew what homely was thinking.
>So we make a small detour around the house and out into the
living room from the kitchen side
>i'm Pretending she was some wandering companion who lost her
villiage to a dragon attack and joined me on my quest
>We slip back into the living room all nonchalant like
>The video game is back on and nobody noticed us even walk in.
>Homely took my controller and my spot on the couch
>I curse under my breath various times
>Glasses pops back onto her spot on the couch and i'm left with
nowhere to sit
>Of course i've been around women all my life
>So i do the usual thing and inform homely that it's alright, i
didn't really need to play anymore since her and glasses haven't
got a turn yet.

>It works like a charm
>Birthday, Blondie and Homely get guilted into feeling bad about
taking my controller while i was in the bathroom.
>Blondie tries to offer me hers and make excuses about her
fingers being tired
>I'm not having any of it, i milk it for all its worth and make a
big show about it being alright and they should all continue
playing together.
>Raven gives a snort, she's not falling for it, but she's still
intently eyes-forward on the video game.
>Everyone else is appropriately guilt tripped though
>Totally gonna use these guilt points later to buy things at the
vendor
>Buy some god damn emotional armor or something.

>Birthday girl does the right thing and offers glasses her
controller
>Glasses denies gracefully with many "Oh you don't have tos" and
various other trivial words
>She still gets the controller though
>I'm telling you, women throughout their entire lives have
friends that treat them badly, throw them through emotional
loop-de-loops and use every trick in the book to guilt, hurt or
manipulate them.
>All while seeming completely nice about it
>[/spoiler]This is why they hate nice guys, they associate it
with being flat out manipulated, no joke.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] If you're an actual jerk to them, they atleast know
you're honest and not manipulating them[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] The best way to treat a woman is like you would treat
one of your bros, don't pussyfoot around issues and just make em
clear : YW All male anons[/spoiler]
>Moral of the story is that glasses just used my guilt point
acquisition to gather some for herself and end up playing the
game.
>I would have felt guilty as fuck if i ended up playing again
too.
>I had plans for those points though, atleast i thought i did.

>I've still got nowhere to sit though
>It comes to my mind that i could probably plop down on one of
the girls and use them as a comfy chair
>Obviously one of the girls on the couch, sitting on Raven on the
floor would just not work out very well.
>Blondie
>Too small, she would put up with it but her legs would probably
hurt after 5-10 minutes
>Homely
>Hahahahaha
>Birthday
>Naw
>Glasses
>Revenge
>*Evil Laughter*

>Except there's really no way i can get revenge
>The blanket is gone, and she's playing vidya
>I walk over in front of her and block her vidya view
>I'm pumped up from my Alpha moment in the bathroom
>I put my hands on my hips (appropriate demanding posture) and
say
>"Open up, you're my new chair missy"
>Obviously because i can't just sit on the controller, she has to
open her arms and let me in.
>Curt response "No"
>Euguhh
>I'm grasping my hand over my heart in an extremely dramatic
shakespearean fashion
>[spoiler] in my mind of course[/spoiler]
>I'm really just standing there in that awkward way you stand
places when you've been turned down for a date or something.
>I've been shot down, foiled, defeated
>Being alpha with Glasses is like an uphill unwinnable battle

>I do let out a dejected sigh and slump my shoulders
>Gotta look the part
>I then trudge over and plop myself down on the ground next to
Raven
>She's sitting with her back to the armrest of the couch, so i
sit down further into the couch
>Losers seat i guess
>Blondies legs are here though
>I don't even bother with them, i just lean back to the left of
them and relax my head against the cushion.
>I get to watch the story progress without any involvement on my
part
>I guess it's alright
>It's probably been an hour or two of this game though, people
are getting worn out.
>JRPGs are just like that at parties, fun ,but gotta play em in
segments

>Blondie's toes are adorable over to my right side though.
>She gives her feet little kicks every once in a while when she
does a good heal or something.
>Even a couple times i watch as she wiggles each toe
independently of one another
>Cute little feets mayn
>I'm not really a foot person, but cute feets are cute feets.
>To my luck, she decides to reposition herself after a little
while
>I guess she was taking hints from glasses last night, because
she drapes both her legs over my right side
>Smooth legs
>[spoiler] Alright well there was some light hair on them, but
she was blonde so it wasn't noticeable[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] Yes women have hair on their legs, wow you should know
this already no matter how lonely you are[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] no, shaving them constantly is a bitch of a thing to
do, and most women only do it when they are in dress-up
mode[/spoiler]
>These are awesome legs though
>Blonde haired girl legs are the best legs

>I can't really fondle her legs though
>I've got no cover, no bushes to hide behind
>Anything i do would alert the guards
>Most i can do is play with whatever is closest to my lap where i
atleast have cover from the girls behind me
>This would be those cute feets i was talking about.
>I can't really do anything to them though
>Even though i raise my hands to touch them anyway.
>Hands and feet are a bad mixture you see
>The second you touch a cute girl's feet she's going to do one
thing
>Laugh

>Blondie lets out a high pitched laugh
>I imagine this is the sound elves make if you ever catch them
not being prim assholes to one another.
>Raven is onto me and eying me with suspicion
>I don't even look behind me, fuck the police
>I continue tickling her feet
>they're adorable, she's shifting them and flexing all the
muscles in them trying to get away.
>I raise my hands and get the back of her ankles too
>She's giggling up a storm
>She starts kicking
>Oh no this was a bad ide....
>Right in the balls

><Screams Internally>
>Various other noises you can imagine
>I keep forgetting blondie is an assassin sent to kill me
>Why do i keep forgetting this
>No words or actual sounds were made by my mouth
>I just let go of her feet, wrap my arms around my stomach and
fall over to the side
>Raven is laughing
>She knows
>Blondie is instantly silent
>She knows
>Birthday, Homely and Glasses think i'm just laughing on the
ground or something and ignore it.
>I'm not laughing
>[spoiler] Once again one of the rare spoilers for only the
female readers in here[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] Implying they exist[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] Getting hit in the balls is one of those things that
just really really hurts, but it's not actually pain and its
difficult to describe [/spoiler]
>[spoiler] See, those unlucky bastards are hooked up directly to
the base of your spinal cord, this means there's one big pathway
for that pain right to your head[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] It doesn't just hurt, everything on the way up along
that pathway hurts too, your crotch, your stomach and even your
lower chest sometimes[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]The closest comparison i've got is being hit in the
kidney, but its just not something you've probably
experienced[/spoiler]

>As is expected, i just keel over sideways and enjoy the floor
for a little bit
>She didn't hit me that hard, but it didn't matter, i'd had
enough of feet for the time being.
>I think Blondie is rubbing it in though, since she just sets her
feet ontop of me like a footrest
>Probably thinking it serves me right for tickling her
>Back to staring at the walls of rooms again i guess
>I have a great view of the small space under the TV cabinet
>Cobwebs and dust bunnies
>Another untapped source of spiderbros to help me in my time of
need.
>I'm not there for very long, im sure birthday/homely/glasses
think im just relaxing sideways
>Raven has a smirk on though
>Eventually its decided that they've progressed far enough and
the game is saved and swapped out
>Two player fighting game time.

>Blondie mentions food being a thing
>Its like noon-ish
>Birthday mentions some serious sandwich fixins in the kitchen
>Blondie offers to make some
>Birthday figures she might as well act the courteous host and
help for once.
>Raven/Homely/Myself/Glasses Get to trade off in some 1v1s
>This means we pile on the couch again
>This doesn't work out as well as i want, as i end up in a corner
with Homely deciding its her turn to sit on my lap
>You would think i could protest though right?
>Wrong

>If i let two girls sit on my lap and then not another, i'm
playing favorites.
>I might not give a shit
>But homely's feelings would get hurt
>AND THEN EVERYONE ELSE WOULD GIVE A SHIT
>This giving a shit would get me in shit status with everyone
>I can't play favorites ):
>Well i can, i just can't be obvious about it
>Either way she ends up on my lap and she's facing off Vs Raven
>Loser gets the controller
>Zero boners though, and i'm still kinda sore so she's not
feeling anything except my lap.
>She's still wearing her pajama pants and loose t-shirt though,
so i'm kinda worried

>I'm trying to concentrate on the game, but she's wiggling around
and sitting upright so i can't really focus on it at all
>Or even see the TV for that matter
>I just resign to my fate and turn my head to watch raven
>I've got an obvious "Help me" look on my face, but i make sure
she's the only one who can see it.
>She notices
>She knows i don't really like homely (but she's really the only
one who knows)
>She puts on an evil smirk
>Payback for what i said to blondie in the shower earlier smirk
>Or something else i've done, who knows
>Oh no, i see it coming a mile away
>Raven loses on purpose
>Hands the controller off to glasses
>I have to "Enjoy" another round with Homely sitting where she's
sitting.
>I give raven the most silent pleading face i possibly can
>I just get a brimming wide evil-smile in return

>Glasses is picking her character
>Homely turns around to face me and raven
>She's sitting sideways on me now, with her feet on raven's lap
and crotch still firmly planted on mine
>I can't make faces anymore
> ):
>I have to pretend nothing is wrong
>Even though really its just a girl sitting on my lap and i'm
being overdramatic
>Or was i
>I have an even bigger problem
>Homely is still wearing her pajamas from last night
>This means she's wearing a loose t-shirt
>And no bra

>She makes this VERY obvious with her large breasts
>She was the most endowed female there D size maybe.
>Large enough to jiggle her entire chest every time she moved
>This doesn't help because her hands are in her lap and she's
somehow playing the fighting game like a racing game.
>Tilting the controller left and right and shit
>Jiggling back and forth, each breast almost swaying individually
>No! Must... look... away
>I'm male so i can't
>Shameful boner
>I've failed you my hardening friend

>Well, homely notices
>She puts on a successful "Oh look at what i did" Smile.
>Its a mixture of a shit-eating grin and the look you get when
you thoroughly trump someone in a fighting game
>Oh wait those are both shit-eating grins.
>Fuck you homely
>I can't do anything but feign a smile and continue watching the
game.
>Also homely's tits
>I don't even like big tits (most the reason i didn't like
homely), but not looking at big tits right in your face is
impossible
>She catches me looking
>Shit eating grin continues
>This is the other half of the reason i don't like homely.

>She's still bouncing around and wagging her tits in my face
though
>Boner at full hardness
>I'm ashamed on the inside
>I thought i had more control than this
>I thought i had a clear sense of justice
>Seeing myself live long enough to become the villain
>Whatever it is, my crime fighting days are over and homely has
now confirmed she's attractive enough to get me hard.
>[spoiler]Ill restate what i keep saying in the thread, She's not
ugly, but she's not really attractive to me, nor does she have a
personality i like.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler] Tad overweight bar-skank with huge knockers, any of
yall would fall for it.[/spoiler]
>Luckily, this means she's distracted as fuck
>Glasses kicks her ass up and down three ways from sunday

>Homely loses hard and passes her controller to me.
>I've got no choice but to put my hands out over her lap and hold
the controller
>I know i'm going to regret this
>I instantly regret this
>Homely takes both her hands and lightly places them on my wrists
>Some kind of sick hand-holding without my permission
>I didn't ask for this
>Its me Vs Glasses
>This is the match up of the century
>At first i'm getting my ass kicked, but then i retaliate and
leave her character damn close to death.
>I've got this
>Homely sits up straight
>This puts full pressure right on my crotch
>Shoves her boobs right in my face
>I die

>Why don't these girls just leave me alone and let me play video
games
>I haven't been able to win once in anything we play
>I can't handle this
>I drop the controller back into Homely's lap
>I say "I'm going to go check on lunch"
>Homely puts on a sad face, but my excuse seems to have worked
and she wiggles to the side so i can get up
>She still puppy dog-eyes me and leans forward though
>Loose shirt
>Breasts
>I don't look
>I do look
>I pretend to not look while looking
>I don't look while pretending to not look

>Breasts
>Big, floppy breasts
>God damnit male mind
>Fuck you
>I'm up and trying to leave though
>Just going to think about other people naked
>Raven gets up too at the same time planning to follow me
>She brushes me as she stands
>Feels me being hard
>Her eyes don't go wide, she doesn't freeze, she doesn't get a
scowl on her face
>Well except the scowl part
>Her eyes are cold, like a wolf before it rips the throat out of
the prey its been stalking
>I give her three silent faces in a row
>THIS IS YOUR FAULT RAVEN
>YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS
>WHAT DO YOU THINK I WAS BEGGING YOU FOR
>I think these all come out as the above faces plus a mixture of
the shameful boner face


>I hope she understands.
>She's still scowling though
>She tells me to make sure Blondie wasn't putting mustard on her
sandwich
>She's not going to follow me anymore though
>She just sits down on the armrest of the couch, folds her arms
crossed and stares at the TV.
>I slink away to the kitchen ashamed of myself
>I Enter the kitchen
>Blondie has a knife cutting the tomatoes
>I Exit the kitchen

>They didn't have mustard out though so i don't bother saying
anything
>I just go and sit down in the dining room
>Clasp my hands together on my lap and stared off at the wall
again
>In retrospect this was weird, but in my mind i was just going to
quietly wait for food to happen.
>Just going to stare at this wall until the shame goes away
>Its not too long, luckily Blondie calls out in her singsong
voice across the household that sammy-witches are ready.
>I arrive in the kitchen first, pretending i just got up and came
over
>Some pastrami, swiss mayo/lettuce/tomato contraptions of flavor
going on in here.
>Birthday and Blondie start the serving process
>Birthday gets out drinks and cups (has a 2liter of coke we never
opened before)
>Blondie plops a big sandwich down on my plate and gives me a
confectioner's maid smile.
>I don't know what that smile is called, but it involves your
entire body
>She does a half curtsey, tad bit of knee bend, smile from ear to
ear and her eyes are shining.
>You'll only see this smile when women have made food for you to
eat and want you to enjoy yourself.
>Its fucking adorable

>My heart melts a little
>But its just a fucking sandwich
>Well actually the bread is toasted and i guess the tomato slices
are done pretty well
>*sigh* i guess ill praise her for it when we sit down to eat
>We all end up in the living room though
>We all pick various places on the floor to sit and eat food
>Smalltalk of course
>We discuss what we should do next
>Various bickering about boys and girls at our school
>Raven doesn't seem to want to sit next to me and chat like we
usually do
>I swear to god woman
>I end up with birthday and homely on either side of me
>they really aren't talking to me, its more like talking across
me
>I just ignore them and eat my sandwich

>About halfway through my sandwich i appropriately give praise to
blondie and comment on how the tomatoes are perfect and the
sandwich is delicious
>She doesn't know i saw her cutting them
>One million bonus points
>Her face lights up like fireworks.
>The general sentiment around the room is that the sandiwches are
delicious and blondie/birthday get plenty of praise
>Blondie still has her face lit up and looking at me though
>I grab the last half of the sandwich with my left hand and start
to bring it up to my mouth while staring at her
>I plan to make lip smacking sounds and get bonus points
>Blondie loses the smile
>My hand doesn't seem to be able to get to my mouth


>Homely has wrapped her arm around my left arm and is holding it
like we're lovers or something
>She's not breaking eye contact with birthday though, and they're
still discussing absolutely nothing of importance
>A.... alright
>Its no big deal i guess
> i swap the sandwich to my right hand and go up for another bite
>This hand won't move either
>Birthday has her arm wrapped around that one, matching homely
>I just want to eat my sandwich ):
>I can't do anything so i just lower my hand and drop it back to
the plate.
>Stare at it sadly
>Sandwich arc over before it even began
>Both the girls don't even notice, they're still discussing
clothes and other girly things like i'm not even there

>Blondie knows what's happening and is staring with a defeated
sad look on her face at me.
>Raven isn't glaring daggers for once
>She's Glaring actual full longswords
>Foot long hilts and everything
>Why is this my fault
>Even usual non-caring glasses is looking a little peeved
>I guess her alliances lie elsewhere
>I can see her brain whirring in motion to try to stop this
though
>Maybe she'll save me from this soul crushing emptiness inside
>[spoiler]that only my sandwich can fill[/spoiler]
>Both the girls still have one hand free though, so they're just
eating as if nothing is happening.
>I know both of them can see the other girls staring.
>They pretend they don't see anything

>The one thing they aren't hiding well are the eyes
>I look left and i look right and i can see both of them are
projecting lasers at one another.
>The facial movements are animated, diverse, and match the
conversation
>But the eyes are hard and deadly.
>Homely grips my arm harder
>Birthday grips my arm harder
>Uh oh
>This is like a catfight but the cats are separated by a
volleyball net and are playing volleyball with a huge inflatable
beach ball.
>And all the beach ball is trying to do is not get popped by the
cats claws
>That's probably what playing girl's volleyball is like anyway.
>I'm not escaping though
>Birthday turns her entire body towards me, and presses into my
shoulder
>This has the effect of pressing my arm into the crease of her
chest between breasts.
>I guess she managed to get her bra hook back together without
anyone noticing, because i feel two layers of fabric between us.

>Homely matches it, but the difference is that she doesn't have a
bra on
>Much softer
>Much more squish
>I'm really not at liberty to move now
>I can't imagine i have anything on my face but a pleading look
at the other three girls.
>Birthday and homely are still keeping up the conversation though
>Glasses brings her plan to fruition
>"Alright that was delicious, lets clean up our plates"
>Homely and Birthday change from random conversation, to just
staring at glasses
>"We're not done eating yet" they literally say in unison.
>Not exactly, one of them used different structure, but it was
terrifying nothenless
>Then they just go back to the conversation they were having
>They haven't touched their food in like three minutes.
>My sandwich is just sitting there
>Please...

>Glasses looks defeated
>A rare look for her, trust me
>Birthday and homely aren't even talking infront of me
>They've put their chins on my shoulders and are talking through
me
>Like whispering the conversation into one of my ears and its
going out the other to the opposite side.
>I'm just trying to pretend this isn't happening and save face
with all of it going on
>Actually i'm now staring down at my cup of coke
>It looks delicious
>I'm really thirsty, just a sip please
>It's just sitting there bubbling
>Each popping bubble screaming my name

>Birthday scootches closer
>The angle means she has full control of my arm and hand
>My hand is now resting gently on her crotch
>She takes this advantage to press my hand into her
>I feel an imperceptible amount of dampness
>Probably my fault from earlier.
>She presses my hand into her harder
>Definitely my fault from earlier
>While i'm limply feeling the searing hot valley between
birthday's thighs
>[spoiler]Which is quite nice actually[/spoiler]
>Homely scoots up as well


>Oh no
>The other girls are just frozen staring
>why won't they do anything
>Homely scoots one of her legs right behind me and straight along
my backside
>Her knee is actually touching birthday's knee
>My arm is close to where she wants it
>She's got an embarrassed but shameless look on her face
>She swings her other knee around infront of me
>I watch in slow-motion exactly where my eyes have been this
entire time.
>NO
>NO
>THATS NOT TRUE
>as that delicious cup of soda spills
>THATS IMPOSSIBLE
>All over my sandwich
>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>The girls let go of me in a hurry
>Homely makes a couple "I'm Sorry"s, while she gets up and
hurries to the kitchen for paper towels
>Birthday goes with her
>I scoot backwards to not get soda all over my pants
>Still got a generous amount on one of my knees, but its not too
bad
>I dont stop scooting until i'm a relatively safe distance away
>I cross my arms so that nobody can take them away from me
>lie down and look at the ceiling again
>Someone gets up across the room and walks over to me
>Its raven
>She stands above my head staring down at me with vehemence in
her eyes
>Its alright though because i can see up her top since its loose
at the bottom
>Blondie shows up a second later to my other side
>I can see up her shirt too, but she's got a bra on.
>They don't seem to be in a friendly mood though
>I'm pretty sure they're going to kick me
>Daggers, Longswords and some kind of Halberds being glared down
at me
>I figure its time to say something
>"You know it wasn't my fault"
>WRONG ANSWER
>The previously mentioned weapons being fired at me from their
eyes have now caught on fire.
>They don't even say anything, they just stomp off
>Lots of banging in the kitchen, i guess they're trying to find
towels or something.
>Someone gets up across the room
>Its glasses of course, she shows up in the same place blondie
was standing.
>Her shirt is tucked in though
>I softly say "Why didn't you save me?" a real sound of pleading
in my voice.
>She just shakes her head and walks away.

>Birthday and homely come back and start cleaning up the mess
>I guess everyone just left plates and cups everywhere and left
>I get up and help them clean up the coke
>[spoiler] putting a towel over a drink that soaks into the
carpet and punching it with your fists works wonders [/spoiler]
>[spoiler] Plus it looks manly as fuck, try it sometime[/spoiler]
>I get to watch my soggy sandwich get scooped up and whisked off
to the kitchen.
> ):
>I pick up my empty cup and follow them
>They've left the kitchen clean, so they toss the scraps in the
trash and put the cups in the sink and leave.
>I watch first hand as my soggy love falls into the trashcan and
splats against the side before sadly sliding down.
>I probably look like i've just lost a pet or something
>The girls leave and i'm just standing there
>Not really much coke left, so i get maybe a fifth of a cup
> fuck this shit
> i'm now in major sandwich depression
> i walk over to the alcohol cabinet and pull out a bottle of rum
and pour myself half shot right into the coke..
>Close it up, put the bottle away and just chug the entire cup
>Think about my sandwich the entire time ):