>I leave the bathroom with glasses in close-proximal tow >I know its a bad idea to just tromp back into the living room directly with her following me. >Raven and Blondie are already emotional landmines ready to go off, and Birthday can just up-and-start hating people right away anytime she wants. >Fuck if i even knew what homely was thinking. >So we make a small detour around the house and out into the living room from the kitchen side >i'm Pretending she was some wandering companion who lost her villiage to a dragon attack and joined me on my quest >We slip back into the living room all nonchalant like >The video game is back on and nobody noticed us even walk in. >Homely took my controller and my spot on the couch >I curse under my breath various times >Glasses pops back onto her spot on the couch and i'm left with nowhere to sit >Of course i've been around women all my life >So i do the usual thing and inform homely that it's alright, i didn't really need to play anymore since her and glasses haven't got a turn yet. >It works like a charm >Birthday, Blondie and Homely get guilted into feeling bad about taking my controller while i was in the bathroom. >Blondie tries to offer me hers and make excuses about her fingers being tired >I'm not having any of it, i milk it for all its worth and make a big show about it being alright and they should all continue playing together. >Raven gives a snort, she's not falling for it, but she's still intently eyes-forward on the video game. >Everyone else is appropriately guilt tripped though >Totally gonna use these guilt points later to buy things at the vendor >Buy some god damn emotional armor or something. >Birthday girl does the right thing and offers glasses her controller >Glasses denies gracefully with many "Oh you don't have tos" and various other trivial words >She still gets the controller though >I'm telling you, women throughout their entire lives have friends that treat them badly, throw them through emotional loop-de-loops and use every trick in the book to guilt, hurt or manipulate them. >All while seeming completely nice about it >[/spoiler]This is why they hate nice guys, they associate it with being flat out manipulated, no joke.[/spoiler] >[spoiler] If you're an actual jerk to them, they atleast know you're honest and not manipulating them[/spoiler] >[spoiler] The best way to treat a woman is like you would treat one of your bros, don't pussyfoot around issues and just make em clear : YW All male anons[/spoiler] >Moral of the story is that glasses just used my guilt point acquisition to gather some for herself and end up playing the game. >I would have felt guilty as fuck if i ended up playing again too. >I had plans for those points though, atleast i thought i did. >I've still got nowhere to sit though >It comes to my mind that i could probably plop down on one of the girls and use them as a comfy chair >Obviously one of the girls on the couch, sitting on Raven on the floor would just not work out very well. >Blondie >Too small, she would put up with it but her legs would probably hurt after 5-10 minutes >Homely >Hahahahaha >Birthday >Naw >Glasses >Revenge >*Evil Laughter* >Except there's really no way i can get revenge >The blanket is gone, and she's playing vidya >I walk over in front of her and block her vidya view >I'm pumped up from my Alpha moment in the bathroom >I put my hands on my hips (appropriate demanding posture) and say >"Open up, you're my new chair missy" >Obviously because i can't just sit on the controller, she has to open her arms and let me in. >Curt response "No" >Euguhh >I'm grasping my hand over my heart in an extremely dramatic shakespearean fashion >[spoiler] in my mind of course[/spoiler] >I'm really just standing there in that awkward way you stand places when you've been turned down for a date or something. >I've been shot down, foiled, defeated >Being alpha with Glasses is like an uphill unwinnable battle >I do let out a dejected sigh and slump my shoulders >Gotta look the part >I then trudge over and plop myself down on the ground next to Raven >She's sitting with her back to the armrest of the couch, so i sit down further into the couch >Losers seat i guess >Blondies legs are here though >I don't even bother with them, i just lean back to the left of them and relax my head against the cushion. >I get to watch the story progress without any involvement on my part >I guess it's alright >It's probably been an hour or two of this game though, people are getting worn out. >JRPGs are just like that at parties, fun ,but gotta play em in segments >Blondie's toes are adorable over to my right side though. >She gives her feet little kicks every once in a while when she does a good heal or something. >Even a couple times i watch as she wiggles each toe independently of one another >Cute little feets mayn >I'm not really a foot person, but cute feets are cute feets. >To my luck, she decides to reposition herself after a little while >I guess she was taking hints from glasses last night, because she drapes both her legs over my right side >Smooth legs >[spoiler] Alright well there was some light hair on them, but she was blonde so it wasn't noticeable[/spoiler] >[spoiler] Yes women have hair on their legs, wow you should know this already no matter how lonely you are[/spoiler] >[spoiler] no, shaving them constantly is a bitch of a thing to do, and most women only do it when they are in dress-up mode[/spoiler] >These are awesome legs though >Blonde haired girl legs are the best legs >I can't really fondle her legs though >I've got no cover, no bushes to hide behind >Anything i do would alert the guards >Most i can do is play with whatever is closest to my lap where i atleast have cover from the girls behind me >This would be those cute feets i was talking about. >I can't really do anything to them though >Even though i raise my hands to touch them anyway. >Hands and feet are a bad mixture you see >The second you touch a cute girl's feet she's going to do one thing >Laugh >Blondie lets out a high pitched laugh >I imagine this is the sound elves make if you ever catch them not being prim assholes to one another. >Raven is onto me and eying me with suspicion >I don't even look behind me, fuck the police >I continue tickling her feet >they're adorable, she's shifting them and flexing all the muscles in them trying to get away. >I raise my hands and get the back of her ankles too >She's giggling up a storm >She starts kicking >Oh no this was a bad ide.... >Right in the balls ><Screams Internally> >Various other noises you can imagine >I keep forgetting blondie is an assassin sent to kill me >Why do i keep forgetting this >No words or actual sounds were made by my mouth >I just let go of her feet, wrap my arms around my stomach and fall over to the side >Raven is laughing >She knows >Blondie is instantly silent >She knows >Birthday, Homely and Glasses think i'm just laughing on the ground or something and ignore it. >I'm not laughing >[spoiler] Once again one of the rare spoilers for only the female readers in here[/spoiler] >[spoiler] Implying they exist[/spoiler] >[spoiler] Getting hit in the balls is one of those things that just really really hurts, but it's not actually pain and its difficult to describe [/spoiler] >[spoiler] See, those unlucky bastards are hooked up directly to the base of your spinal cord, this means there's one big pathway for that pain right to your head[/spoiler] >[spoiler] It doesn't just hurt, everything on the way up along that pathway hurts too, your crotch, your stomach and even your lower chest sometimes[/spoiler] >[spoiler]The closest comparison i've got is being hit in the kidney, but its just not something you've probably experienced[/spoiler] >As is expected, i just keel over sideways and enjoy the floor for a little bit >She didn't hit me that hard, but it didn't matter, i'd had enough of feet for the time being. >I think Blondie is rubbing it in though, since she just sets her feet ontop of me like a footrest >Probably thinking it serves me right for tickling her >Back to staring at the walls of rooms again i guess >I have a great view of the small space under the TV cabinet >Cobwebs and dust bunnies >Another untapped source of spiderbros to help me in my time of need. >I'm not there for very long, im sure birthday/homely/glasses think im just relaxing sideways >Raven has a smirk on though >Eventually its decided that they've progressed far enough and the game is saved and swapped out >Two player fighting game time. >Blondie mentions food being a thing >Its like noon-ish >Birthday mentions some serious sandwich fixins in the kitchen >Blondie offers to make some >Birthday figures she might as well act the courteous host and help for once. >Raven/Homely/Myself/Glasses Get to trade off in some 1v1s >This means we pile on the couch again >This doesn't work out as well as i want, as i end up in a corner with Homely deciding its her turn to sit on my lap >You would think i could protest though right? >Wrong >If i let two girls sit on my lap and then not another, i'm playing favorites. >I might not give a shit >But homely's feelings would get hurt >AND THEN EVERYONE ELSE WOULD GIVE A SHIT >This giving a shit would get me in shit status with everyone >I can't play favorites ): >Well i can, i just can't be obvious about it >Either way she ends up on my lap and she's facing off Vs Raven >Loser gets the controller >Zero boners though, and i'm still kinda sore so she's not feeling anything except my lap. >She's still wearing her pajama pants and loose t-shirt though, so i'm kinda worried >I'm trying to concentrate on the game, but she's wiggling around and sitting upright so i can't really focus on it at all >Or even see the TV for that matter >I just resign to my fate and turn my head to watch raven >I've got an obvious "Help me" look on my face, but i make sure she's the only one who can see it. >She notices >She knows i don't really like homely (but she's really the only one who knows) >She puts on an evil smirk >Payback for what i said to blondie in the shower earlier smirk >Or something else i've done, who knows >Oh no, i see it coming a mile away >Raven loses on purpose >Hands the controller off to glasses >I have to "Enjoy" another round with Homely sitting where she's sitting. >I give raven the most silent pleading face i possibly can >I just get a brimming wide evil-smile in return >Glasses is picking her character >Homely turns around to face me and raven >She's sitting sideways on me now, with her feet on raven's lap and crotch still firmly planted on mine >I can't make faces anymore > ): >I have to pretend nothing is wrong >Even though really its just a girl sitting on my lap and i'm being overdramatic >Or was i >I have an even bigger problem >Homely is still wearing her pajamas from last night >This means she's wearing a loose t-shirt >And no bra >She makes this VERY obvious with her large breasts >She was the most endowed female there D size maybe. >Large enough to jiggle her entire chest every time she moved >This doesn't help because her hands are in her lap and she's somehow playing the fighting game like a racing game. >Tilting the controller left and right and shit >Jiggling back and forth, each breast almost swaying individually >No! Must... look... away >I'm male so i can't >Shameful boner >I've failed you my hardening friend >Well, homely notices >She puts on a successful "Oh look at what i did" Smile. >Its a mixture of a shit-eating grin and the look you get when you thoroughly trump someone in a fighting game >Oh wait those are both shit-eating grins. >Fuck you homely >I can't do anything but feign a smile and continue watching the game. >Also homely's tits >I don't even like big tits (most the reason i didn't like homely), but not looking at big tits right in your face is impossible >She catches me looking >Shit eating grin continues >This is the other half of the reason i don't like homely. >She's still bouncing around and wagging her tits in my face though >Boner at full hardness >I'm ashamed on the inside >I thought i had more control than this >I thought i had a clear sense of justice >Seeing myself live long enough to become the villain >Whatever it is, my crime fighting days are over and homely has now confirmed she's attractive enough to get me hard. >[spoiler]Ill restate what i keep saying in the thread, She's not ugly, but she's not really attractive to me, nor does she have a personality i like.[/spoiler] >[spoiler] Tad overweight bar-skank with huge knockers, any of yall would fall for it.[/spoiler] >Luckily, this means she's distracted as fuck >Glasses kicks her ass up and down three ways from sunday >Homely loses hard and passes her controller to me. >I've got no choice but to put my hands out over her lap and hold the controller >I know i'm going to regret this >I instantly regret this >Homely takes both her hands and lightly places them on my wrists >Some kind of sick hand-holding without my permission >I didn't ask for this >Its me Vs Glasses >This is the match up of the century >At first i'm getting my ass kicked, but then i retaliate and leave her character damn close to death. >I've got this >Homely sits up straight >This puts full pressure right on my crotch >Shoves her boobs right in my face >I die >Why don't these girls just leave me alone and let me play video games >I haven't been able to win once in anything we play >I can't handle this >I drop the controller back into Homely's lap >I say "I'm going to go check on lunch" >Homely puts on a sad face, but my excuse seems to have worked and she wiggles to the side so i can get up >She still puppy dog-eyes me and leans forward though >Loose shirt >Breasts >I don't look >I do look >I pretend to not look while looking >I don't look while pretending to not look >Breasts >Big, floppy breasts >God damnit male mind >Fuck you >I'm up and trying to leave though >Just going to think about other people naked >Raven gets up too at the same time planning to follow me >She brushes me as she stands >Feels me being hard >Her eyes don't go wide, she doesn't freeze, she doesn't get a scowl on her face >Well except the scowl part >Her eyes are cold, like a wolf before it rips the throat out of the prey its been stalking >I give her three silent faces in a row >THIS IS YOUR FAULT RAVEN >YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS >WHAT DO YOU THINK I WAS BEGGING YOU FOR >I think these all come out as the above faces plus a mixture of the shameful boner face >I hope she understands. >She's still scowling though >She tells me to make sure Blondie wasn't putting mustard on her sandwich >She's not going to follow me anymore though >She just sits down on the armrest of the couch, folds her arms crossed and stares at the TV. >I slink away to the kitchen ashamed of myself >I Enter the kitchen >Blondie has a knife cutting the tomatoes >I Exit the kitchen >They didn't have mustard out though so i don't bother saying anything >I just go and sit down in the dining room >Clasp my hands together on my lap and stared off at the wall again >In retrospect this was weird, but in my mind i was just going to quietly wait for food to happen. >Just going to stare at this wall until the shame goes away >Its not too long, luckily Blondie calls out in her singsong voice across the household that sammy-witches are ready. >I arrive in the kitchen first, pretending i just got up and came over >Some pastrami, swiss mayo/lettuce/tomato contraptions of flavor going on in here. >Birthday and Blondie start the serving process >Birthday gets out drinks and cups (has a 2liter of coke we never opened before) >Blondie plops a big sandwich down on my plate and gives me a confectioner's maid smile. >I don't know what that smile is called, but it involves your entire body >She does a half curtsey, tad bit of knee bend, smile from ear to ear and her eyes are shining. >You'll only see this smile when women have made food for you to eat and want you to enjoy yourself. >Its fucking adorable >My heart melts a little >But its just a fucking sandwich >Well actually the bread is toasted and i guess the tomato slices are done pretty well >*sigh* i guess ill praise her for it when we sit down to eat >We all end up in the living room though >We all pick various places on the floor to sit and eat food >Smalltalk of course >We discuss what we should do next >Various bickering about boys and girls at our school >Raven doesn't seem to want to sit next to me and chat like we usually do >I swear to god woman >I end up with birthday and homely on either side of me >they really aren't talking to me, its more like talking across me >I just ignore them and eat my sandwich >About halfway through my sandwich i appropriately give praise to blondie and comment on how the tomatoes are perfect and the sandwich is delicious >She doesn't know i saw her cutting them >One million bonus points >Her face lights up like fireworks. >The general sentiment around the room is that the sandiwches are delicious and blondie/birthday get plenty of praise >Blondie still has her face lit up and looking at me though >I grab the last half of the sandwich with my left hand and start to bring it up to my mouth while staring at her >I plan to make lip smacking sounds and get bonus points >Blondie loses the smile >My hand doesn't seem to be able to get to my mouth >Homely has wrapped her arm around my left arm and is holding it like we're lovers or something >She's not breaking eye contact with birthday though, and they're still discussing absolutely nothing of importance >A.... alright >Its no big deal i guess > i swap the sandwich to my right hand and go up for another bite >This hand won't move either >Birthday has her arm wrapped around that one, matching homely >I just want to eat my sandwich ): >I can't do anything so i just lower my hand and drop it back to the plate. >Stare at it sadly >Sandwich arc over before it even began >Both the girls don't even notice, they're still discussing clothes and other girly things like i'm not even there >Blondie knows what's happening and is staring with a defeated sad look on her face at me. >Raven isn't glaring daggers for once >She's Glaring actual full longswords >Foot long hilts and everything >Why is this my fault >Even usual non-caring glasses is looking a little peeved >I guess her alliances lie elsewhere >I can see her brain whirring in motion to try to stop this though >Maybe she'll save me from this soul crushing emptiness inside >[spoiler]that only my sandwich can fill[/spoiler] >Both the girls still have one hand free though, so they're just eating as if nothing is happening. >I know both of them can see the other girls staring. >They pretend they don't see anything >The one thing they aren't hiding well are the eyes >I look left and i look right and i can see both of them are projecting lasers at one another. >The facial movements are animated, diverse, and match the conversation >But the eyes are hard and deadly. >Homely grips my arm harder >Birthday grips my arm harder >Uh oh >This is like a catfight but the cats are separated by a volleyball net and are playing volleyball with a huge inflatable beach ball. >And all the beach ball is trying to do is not get popped by the cats claws >That's probably what playing girl's volleyball is like anyway. >I'm not escaping though >Birthday turns her entire body towards me, and presses into my shoulder >This has the effect of pressing my arm into the crease of her chest between breasts. >I guess she managed to get her bra hook back together without anyone noticing, because i feel two layers of fabric between us. >Homely matches it, but the difference is that she doesn't have a bra on >Much softer >Much more squish >I'm really not at liberty to move now >I can't imagine i have anything on my face but a pleading look at the other three girls. >Birthday and homely are still keeping up the conversation though >Glasses brings her plan to fruition >"Alright that was delicious, lets clean up our plates" >Homely and Birthday change from random conversation, to just staring at glasses >"We're not done eating yet" they literally say in unison. >Not exactly, one of them used different structure, but it was terrifying nothenless >Then they just go back to the conversation they were having >They haven't touched their food in like three minutes. >My sandwich is just sitting there >Please... >Glasses looks defeated >A rare look for her, trust me >Birthday and homely aren't even talking infront of me >They've put their chins on my shoulders and are talking through me >Like whispering the conversation into one of my ears and its going out the other to the opposite side. >I'm just trying to pretend this isn't happening and save face with all of it going on >Actually i'm now staring down at my cup of coke >It looks delicious >I'm really thirsty, just a sip please >It's just sitting there bubbling >Each popping bubble screaming my name >Birthday scootches closer >The angle means she has full control of my arm and hand >My hand is now resting gently on her crotch >She takes this advantage to press my hand into her >I feel an imperceptible amount of dampness >Probably my fault from earlier. >She presses my hand into her harder >Definitely my fault from earlier >While i'm limply feeling the searing hot valley between birthday's thighs >[spoiler]Which is quite nice actually[/spoiler] >Homely scoots up as well >Oh no >The other girls are just frozen staring >why won't they do anything >Homely scoots one of her legs right behind me and straight along my backside >Her knee is actually touching birthday's knee >My arm is close to where she wants it >She's got an embarrassed but shameless look on her face >She swings her other knee around infront of me >I watch in slow-motion exactly where my eyes have been this entire time. >NO >NO >THATS NOT TRUE >as that delicious cup of soda spills >THATS IMPOSSIBLE >All over my sandwich >NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO >The girls let go of me in a hurry >Homely makes a couple "I'm Sorry"s, while she gets up and hurries to the kitchen for paper towels >Birthday goes with her >I scoot backwards to not get soda all over my pants >Still got a generous amount on one of my knees, but its not too bad >I dont stop scooting until i'm a relatively safe distance away >I cross my arms so that nobody can take them away from me >lie down and look at the ceiling again >Someone gets up across the room and walks over to me >Its raven >She stands above my head staring down at me with vehemence in her eyes >Its alright though because i can see up her top since its loose at the bottom >Blondie shows up a second later to my other side >I can see up her shirt too, but she's got a bra on. >They don't seem to be in a friendly mood though >I'm pretty sure they're going to kick me >Daggers, Longswords and some kind of Halberds being glared down at me >I figure its time to say something >"You know it wasn't my fault" >WRONG ANSWER >The previously mentioned weapons being fired at me from their eyes have now caught on fire. >They don't even say anything, they just stomp off >Lots of banging in the kitchen, i guess they're trying to find towels or something. >Someone gets up across the room >Its glasses of course, she shows up in the same place blondie was standing. >Her shirt is tucked in though >I softly say "Why didn't you save me?" a real sound of pleading in my voice. >She just shakes her head and walks away. >Birthday and homely come back and start cleaning up the mess >I guess everyone just left plates and cups everywhere and left >I get up and help them clean up the coke >[spoiler] putting a towel over a drink that soaks into the carpet and punching it with your fists works wonders [/spoiler] >[spoiler] Plus it looks manly as fuck, try it sometime[/spoiler] >I get to watch my soggy sandwich get scooped up and whisked off to the kitchen. > ): >I pick up my empty cup and follow them >They've left the kitchen clean, so they toss the scraps in the trash and put the cups in the sink and leave. >I watch first hand as my soggy love falls into the trashcan and splats against the side before sadly sliding down. >I probably look like i've just lost a pet or something >The girls leave and i'm just standing there >Not really much coke left, so i get maybe a fifth of a cup > fuck this shit > i'm now in major sandwich depression > i walk over to the alcohol cabinet and pull out a bottle of rum and pour myself half shot right into the coke.. >Close it up, put the bottle away and just chug the entire cup >Think about my sandwich the entire time ):