Author: Sterling Title: She Wanted to Make Me Happy Summary: Alison from next door loved the attention and support I gave her. She accidentally found out I was attracted to her, and insisted she wanted to make me happy in that way. Keywords: Mg Mg(8) humor 1st pedo slow food NOTICE: This story contains explicit sex. Author's note: Adult-child sexual activity in real life is always wrong. Don't do it. First posted 8/29/2018. I'm always eager for comments, whether good, bad or mixed. Comments to sterling27@live.com. I have written many other stories and they can all be found at /files/Authors/Sterling/ For an index see /files/Authors/Sterling/A%20%20SUBJECT%20INDE X.txt There is a more user-friendly web version of most of my stories here: /files/Authors/Sterling/www/ Sterling ============================================================ She Wanted to Make Me Happy Chapter 1 "I found out how babies are made, and it's gross!" said Alison, plopping down on my living room sofa and crossing her legs. It was the first mention of sex between us. "Oh," I said carefully. "I think lots of kids think that." "Eewwwww." "So it's a good thing you're not trying to make any babies. No need to worry about it." "I'll never want to do that." I tried not to smile. "Yeah, lots of kids think that too. And maybe some never change." "I'll never change." "OK, that's fine." "All the boys have penises. All the men. And you have one too." She paused. "Don't you?" "Well, of course," I said. "Do you stick it in women a lot?" "Hmmm. Alison, I'm happy to answer any questions you have about things in general, but I'm not going to talk about my own private life, including anything to do with my penis." She smiled. "OK." --------------------------------------------------------- When I moved to the apartment six months before, Alison lived next door with her parents. Alison's mother had never spoken to me. She constantly looked preoccupied and often angry, and on the rare occasions she glanced in my direction she glanced away at once and scowled. Occasionally Alison's father and I had exchanged a few words. I learned he was an assistant manager at a grocery store, his wife an aspiring real estate agent, but not having much luck. She didn't seem to have the basic demeanor of a salesperson, so I wasn't surprised, though of course I didn't tell him that. I'd hear shouts from over there and occasional a woman's screams of rage, mostly in the evenings but sometimes in the middle of the night. Then the shouting stopped. A few days later, a fine spring day, I was sitting on the front steps and her father came out and sat beside me. He said his wife had left -- gone into the system again, something about probation and rehab. I expressed my condolences. He said Alison was taking it OK, but it was hard for him sometimes, trying to work and run the household. But they'd left Alison alone before and she was fine. But he asked if I'd keep my ears open if there was anything suspicious. Alison had honey blond hair down past her shoulders, big blue eyes in a lovely face with a ready smile. She was also seven years old. It's gotten harder these days to leave your kid unsupervised. Things were more relaxed back then in 1986, but most people still didn't leave their seven-year-olds alone at home for long periods. But it wasn't my place to say that. We lived in an apartment building with six units, two on each floor. Ours were the two on the ground floor. As you came in there was a stairway up to the right, and a hallway to the left. On the left off the hallway was my door, and then on the right beyond the staircase was the door to Alison's. Their unit had two bedrooms, while mine had just one. That afternoon I opened my door into the shared hallway at 2:00. I wasn't sure just when school got out, but wanted to be available if she needed anything. I worked in software and fortunately could flex my hours around and work from home when I had to. The door to the hallway opened onto my living/dining area, couches to the right, table and chairs for a dining area to the left. I set up at the dining room table so my terminal screen was visible from the hallway. That afternoon I heard Alison fumble with the outside lock, then come in and hesitate at my door briefly. I didn't turn around, and she went past and fumbled with the lock to their place. But a few minutes later she came back and stood in my open door, looking. This time I turned around. "Hi... you're Alison, right?" I said. She nodded. "What's that?" she asked, entering to stand beside me and look at my 80x24 green monochrome computer display. I explained dial-up connections and how I could send email back and forth to the office. I also mentioned I had a few games. I pulled up a primitive version of pong and showed her how it worked. She seemed sort of interested, but didn't immediately ask to play herself. I turned to face her. "How are things going?" She looked down. "OK." "I heard your mom left." "Yeah," she said. "No more fighting, but it's lonely." "I can imagine," I added. She glanced at me then and I saw her smile -- some glimmer of trust. "I always have milk and crackers after school but there's no milk." "Oh... I don't have milk, but I have half 'n half -- like milk but creamier. You're welcome to try some." "Oh, OK." "I could give you the carton... or why don't you bring me a glass and I'll pour some for you." She came back with her big plastic glass and I poured a little. "That's good!" she said with a big smile. I filled it up three-quarters of the way. She hesitated, but didn't run off with the glass -- instead, she set it down, ran back to her place and appeared a minute later with her plate and box of crackers and sat down to eat. "Can I have some crackers?" I asked. She smiled and nodded, and I got myself a plate and glass and set myself up with a snack just like hers. And that was how our friendship began. I was not attracted to adult women. I was not attracted to adult men. I was attracted to girls Alison's age -- no boys. I knew I'd never molest anyone. So I mostly kept it out of my mind, concentrating on my career. I could never have a real romance in my life, but if I could be a good neighbor and friend to Alison, that would be a wonderful thing. It shouldn't matter if she was the age I found attractive. It shouldn't even matter if I found Alison herself to be stunning. After snack she looked at the knick-knacks around my living room, asked a few questions and I answered them. But then she started talking. She talked, I really listened and smiled, and so she kept talking. She talked about her mommy and how she could be nice sometimes but scary other times and now she was gone. She talked about how her daddy could be nice too, but sometimes didn't seem to know she was there. She talked about school, and about dolls, and books she'd read. At 6:00 I asked about supper and she said her daddy had left supper for her. She disappeared but was back in 20 minutes. She started yawning around 7:30 and she said her daddy had told her to go to bed when it was 8:00. She was supposed to do it herself? I told her at 8:00 it was time to go. I told her again at 8:03, and finally at 8:06 I said she'd better do as her daddy said. I thought maybe she'd enjoy a goodnight story or some human contact, but that was going beyond neighborly interest. So she left and I heard no more from her that night. I shut my own door at 9:00 and heard her father come in around 9:30. The next day after school she was back. We shared a snack together. She talked some more. She went back to her place long enough to bring over markers and paper and started coloring. She left them at my place. I didn't mind. I asked about her supper and she proudly told me that every night her daddy left her a sandwich. I said I was planning to order a pizza and wondered if she'd go halves with me -- she could have some of my pizza if I could have half her sandwich. She thought that sounded great. The sandwich was a slice of ham, a slice of cheese and mayonnaise between two slices of white bread. She took a nibble of her half but ate three whole slices of cheese pizza. I asked if she wanted more sandwich but she didn't. So I finished it along with the rest of the pizza. Her daddy worked on Saturdays and Sundays too, but didn't start so early. Her first visit with me had been on a Wednesday. On Saturday he poked his head in the door. "Alison says she comes over here." "Yeah, sometimes." "She's all set up with everything, you don't need to let her bother you." "Oh, that's all right. She's a good kid, and fun." "What's that thing?" he said, pointing to the terminal. "Lets me work from home.... logs in to the computer at work." "What will they think of next..." he said, shaking his head. "But good for you." As soon as he left for work at noon, Alison came right over. She said she'd run out of underwear. Had she told her daddy? Yes, he said he'd get to it, but he hadn't. I suggested she bring over some underwear and I'd wash it for her. So I added five pairs of her underwear and a few pairs of socks to my dirty laundry and did a load right then. I made myself not linger over the panties as they made their way from dirty, to wet, and then to warm, soft and dry. She was wearing a dress that day, the same flower-pattern one she'd worn the day before. As with most little girls, she didn't always monitor the sight lines and in days past I had occasionally gotten glimpses of her panties. That day, there were no panties, just skin. I guess her mommy had told her to never wear dirty underwear. I didn't say anything. But I remembered those lovely little legs, the perfection of those inner thighs, and way up under the dress, the slit. So ordinary on the one hand, as all girls have one. Yet not entirely ordinary, as girls are told to keep them hidden more than any other body part. And so utterly extraordinary to someone like me. We shared our suppers every night, and she always ate lots of the pizza or macaroni and cheese or Chinese take-out and just a little of her sandwich. I really do like ham and cheese, and it reminded me of how thankful I am that we have enough to eat in this country and never worry about where the next meal is coming from. More and more, she became my little girl. She slept in her bed and her daddy managed to get off to school each day, but the afternoons and evenings were always at my place. I don't know what she did about hair brushing in the morning, but sometimes in the afternoon it had snarls she complained about. So I had her bring her brush over and I brushed it patiently, bottom to top, as she told me more about her day and her worries and her pals at school and her dreams. I bought a brush to keep at my place. The hair was sometimes a mess when I started, but when it was done each day I had before me luxuriant, thick, golden perfection. Her hair got dirtier. The color darkened, and it smelled faintly and started looking oily. That was just what it ought to do when unwashed, and I thought it was just another wonderful aspect of Alison: Alison with dirty hair. But of course it had to be cleaned. She said she didn't really know how to wash it herself, and asked me if I would do it. I said absolutely not, she'd have to ask her daddy about that. So he'd do it when she asked, but she didn't like it when the soap got in her eyes and only asked him when I told her she had to. I made her ask him every five or six days. She appeared in ratty clothes sometimes. She said she couldn't find anything better. I'd been hesitant to go into her apartment, as her father hadn't given me permission to. But I finally went to her place. The living room and kitchen were dirty and somewhat messy. There was dust in the corners of her little bedroom, a few food stains on the sheets, and clothing all over the floor. She deserved better than that, but it was a delicate situation. I suggested she tell her daddy her clothing was all dirty. She said she'd done that. I asked her to add that I'd offered to help her sort it and clean it, thinking that would shame him into it. But he told her that would be OK with him if I helped her with it. So I sorted out all her clothes, did a couple loads of laundry, found stuff she had outgrown, and went shopping with her. Some new underwear and socks, new jeans and shorts and tops, but only one dress. I let her pick, but not a fancy one. It was light blue, knee-length, and quite simple. With Alison inside, it became beautiful and stylish. She wore it four days in a row until the other kids made fun of her, then she went back to wearing a variety of things. We watched videos together, and occasionally TV. She snuggled up beside me then, or when I read her a story. We played make-believe with chairs and blankets and cushions on the floor. We played Go Fish and Uno and Old Maid. She brought over her game of Life and we played that. She got into Pong on my computer. "Do you have a girlfriend?" "No." "How come?" "Just never found the right girl." She paused. "Can I be your girlfriend?" She said it with a happy smile, confirming that of course it was a suggestion from the land of pretend and make-believe. "No," I said with a smooth smile. "I'm the friendly guy next door." Her offer was all innocence -- but she had no idea how the idea seemed to me. ============================================================ Chapter 2 I was 30 at the time. I'm a pedophile, but I was the perfect father figure for a neglected little girl. I never had an impulse to touch her or get her to touch me. I never made suggestive remarks, never tried giving her back rubs or getting her to sit on my lap. Nothing. But I was also in love with her, and found her incredibly sexy. I never got an erection when she was around, but after she left... I masturbated once or sometimes twice. The sight of her naked little girl parts that day she had no clean panties was etched vividly in my imagination. I also took to masturbating shortly before she got home from school, hoping to find her a little less sexy when we were together. One afternoon I had been out on errands and got back an hour before school got out. I lay down naked on my bed, on my back, masturbating. It was not long after she had learned about how babies are made. In my mind were the memory of her intonation saying "That's gross!" and the image of her bare girl parts under her dress earlier... I moaned, "Oh, Alison!" as I climaxed. I was startled to hear rummaging in my closet. I froze for a second in my post-orgasmic haze, and went into action only as she opened the closet door and appeared, saying, "How did you know I was there?!" I was sitting up and turning away from her, shielding my nakedness. But she saw. She saw everything. "Oh, that was a surprise!" I said hastily. "I didn't... school's not out yet." I realized I hadn't locked my own door when I went out. "It got over early," she said. "I wanted to surprise you." I remember looking back over my shoulder and seeing her in plain jeans and a white top. It was a very ordinary outfit, but no outfit was ordinary with Alison in it. I'm not sure why I remember it so clearly. Maybe I thought I'd never see her again. "Oh, you did, you did... What you saw... I'm so sorry... But... if you tell anyone what you saw, I mean, it's fine, you didn't do anything wrong... but if you do, then they'll probably never let you spend time with me any more." "Why?" "Just trust me on this, OK? I -- maybe you should play over at your place this afternoon." "Oh... OK," she said, thoughtful. So she left, and I turned around, cleaned up, got dressed, locked the door, and sat down for some hard thinking. It was roughly an hour later that I heard a knock on my door, and "It's Alison." My heart started pounding. I hesitated, then got up to answer it. She sat on one end of the couch, crossed her arms, and frowned. I was tempted to launch into a long, elaborate, and frankly panicked description of what had happened. But instead I said, "What are you thinking, Alison?" "You were naughty, doing that." "It's absolutely something that people should do in private and not let other people see. But I thought I was all alone. You snuck in and hid." "I just wanted to surprise you." "I know, I get it, you didn't do anything wrong... well, as you get older you'll learn when surprises are OK and when they're not, but that's fine." "That had to do with making babies, right?" I paused. "Yeah, sort of." "Why do something gross when you're not trying to make a baby?" "Oh, well... Maybe there's things you don't know about making babies. But if you just figure you saw me doing something private that you weren't supposed to see, then everything should be fine." "But I have to tell Jill at school. She talked about seeing her brother's thing, and now I have something to tell HER." "No!" "Why?" "Well..." How to explain? "It's really interesting, right? You thought so, and she'll think so too. She'll tell someone else. Maybe her big brother, or her mother. Her mother will tell the police, and then the police are going to ask you questions. Lots and lots of questions." "I'll just say I didn't see anything." "But the police are very crafty. Want to play police and Alison? I'll be the police." She frowned at me, but didn't object. I rose and paced back and forth. "Now, Alison, tell us everything that happened. If that man told you not to say anything, you can forget that now. A man should never say that. You're safe now. So tell us everything that happened." "Nothing happened." "That's not what you told Jill. You told Jill you saw this man naked." "I didn't." "No? Are you saying Jill was lying?" She didn't answer. "Did this man ever touch you?" "He brushed my hair. I leaned against him when he read stories sometimes." "Oh, he brushed your hair? Most girls brush their hair in the mornings. Why would a strange man do that in the afternoon?" "Because --" And he got you to lean against him?" "He didn't --" "Oh, so you'd have us believe you just happened to lean against him? And he didn't move away? So, Alison, what was it like when you saw him naked?" "It was my fault." "Aha! So you did see him naked?" "Well...." "And he told you it was your fault? That's what those men always say -- they always make it your fault. But now you're saying you did see him naked once, and before you said you never did. Why did you lie to us?" Alison scowled. "I don't like this game." I returned to my normal voice and sat down again on the opposite end of the sofa. "Sorry, but it might be like that, really." I paused. "Suppose you were going to tell them the whole truth, what would you say?" "I'd say you were doing something naughty." "But they'll want to know exactly what you saw, even if it's embarrassing to tell." "You were naked. Your thing -- your penis -- was long and hard and big, and you had it in your hand, and there was stuff that had come out. The stuff to make babies, I think." "And what did I do when you saw?" "You quick tried to hide it." "That's right. And when you were in the closet, what did you hear? What made you come out?" "You called my name." "Right. And how did it sound. Like this --" I said "Oh, Alison!" with the sort of intonation you might use when you find a surprise, "or like this -- " I said "Oh, Alison!" the way a person would say it in the heat of passion. She smiled. "The second one." "Are you sure I didn't say, "Oh, Alice Ann!", or "Oh, Al Lizzand!" "Yup, I'm sure." "So..." I grew quiet. "Do you know why I would say that?" She didn't answer at once. "The police will assume they know why I said it." "Because... you were doing make-believe about making a baby with me?" For once I felt blood start surging into my cock, and willed it to subside. Here was a crucial moment. I didn't want to lie to her, but to tell the truth... "No... I... I had a girlfriend in college named Alison." She looked at me suspiciously. "Did not. You would have said." She had me there. She might not be as good as the police at sniffing out lies, but it was a pretty dumb lie. I sighed. "Yeah, Alison, that's right. I was saying your name." "You want to make a baby with me?" "No! No, not at all. I just... kind of dream about it. When you get older." I tried to make my smile look genuine. She actually rolled her eyes. "So, here's the thing. Very, very few men would dream about doing that with a girl who's just turned eight. Very, very few would. And society hates men who think about that." "Why?" she asked, all innocence. "Well, some men who think about it actually try to do things with a girl, maybe even try to make a baby with her, and that's a horrible crime." Alison's eyes went wide and she grimaced. "Yeah, I know. That's why it's a horrible crime. And I'd never, ever do anything like that. But the police don't know that, see. It would be bad enough if you told them I was doing that thing with my penis, but if you told them what I'd said, then... I'd lose my job, have to move. Might even have to go to court. They might put me in jail." "That's silly. You didn't do anything." "It doesn't matter, Alison! It doesn't matter." She sat silently. "I do love you, Alison, like a father -- like an uncle would love his niece. I love your company, and I love doing things for you and helping you have fun and grow up to be a good person." "I know. I love you too." "But if they find out what I said, they'll assume that I'm only nice to you so I can do bad things later." "That's silly." "It may actually be silly, but they won't think so. Believe me, Alison. You know a lot, but you don't know about this." I paused and looked at her earnestly. "I have no right to ask you to keep a secret for my sake. You are free to say anything you want, and I'll still love you with all my heart. But if you do, you'll never be able to see me again." Alison's eyes were welling up with tears. I had some inclination to go sit beside her, but figured I should let her come to me if and when she wanted to. "If you don't tell anyone, then things go on just like they did before." She tentatively got up, looking at me warily, and walked over. I lifted my arm to make room for her, and she sat down and snuggled up against me. The she sat up and said, "Why don't you get a girlfriend?" "Well, maybe I will." "Then you'd be able to do that thing with her." "It's true, I would." I knew I shouldn't say any more. I knew it was madness, but I said, "You know how I said most men wouldn't dream of doing it with little girls?" "Yeah." "Truth is, I *only* want to do it with little girls. Women just aren't attractive to me at all." "Oh." "But please, don't tell anyone that either!" "Yeah, of course not." We got back into our routine for two whole days. I breathed a sigh of relief. --------------------------------------------------------- "Tell me about making babies." "Oh, it's better if we don't talk about that subject between us. You should ask..." I was going to say her father, but that was obviously not a good idea. "If I can't talk about it with anyone else, can't I talk about it with you?" "You could talk about the subject with other people, as long as you don't say anything about what you saw or what I said." "How can I do that, when that's the biggest thing I know about it?" She had an excellent point there. I sighed. "Well, what do you know about making babies?" "The man sticks his penis into the woman's vagina and does special pee in her and that starts the baby." "That's right. What comes out is called semen, or sperm. So what do you want to know?" "Why would you pretend?" I hesitated. "Well, it's not just something men and women do when they want to make a baby. When they love each other they just want to do it a whole lot. And it feels really, really good. You know when you see grown-ups in movies getting smoochy? That's what they're going to do later, in private. They don't show it on the screen, but everyone -- every grown-up -- knows that. They'll do it even if they really don't want to make a baby." "Why?" "It's just how we're built. We're animals along with being people, and that's the same thing animals do when they want to make puppies or kittens or whatever. It has to do with the theory of evolution by natural selection... Oops, that's for when you're older." "Why would you pretend by yourself?" "Men and women dream about doing it, and sometimes they can't find a partner to do it with them, and it feels really good when they pretend, too." She was silent a moment. "And when you said, 'Oh, Alison!'?" Her intonation was perfect, and embarrassing. "That's... that's when the sperm came out. When it felt best." "But you were thinking about doing that to me? Sticking your penis in my vagina?" Once again her face showed disgust. "No!" Well, how to explain? "It was kind of me pretending that you were older and would want me to do it to you. But I know very well you would never want to do that and it would never work anyway, so it's just make-believe." "And it feels good?" "Oh, very good. You'll understand when you're older..." I hate saying things like that to kids. Could I do better than that? "But you might be able to understand it a little now. If you try gently touching or rubbing yourself down there near your vagina, you might get some good feelings. That's just a hint of the good feelings you'd get when you're all grown up." I realized then that maybe bringing up that subject wasn't such a great idea. Maybe better to leave her with a grown-up end-of-discussion, "Wait 'til you're older." But I hadn't. She started putting her hand under her dress. "Not now! Not now! When you're all alone, like in bed." "OK... So ... what you did on the bed... it's just make-believe and it makes you happy?" "Well... sort of. But make-believe is never as good as the real thing, right?" "No... no, it's not." She gave me a little devilish grin. "You'd like to see me naked, I bet." "No! I mean... Maybe I'd pretend that, but no! Not in real life." She scooted away from me, lay back with her head against the far armrest, and spread her legs wide, showing me her panties. "Alison!" I said, getting up and striding across the room. "That's not very nice of you!" It was the angriest I had ever been with her. She sat up and made herself decent, looking frightened. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I'd never hurt you. Never, never. But... how to explain... you know how you love chocolate cake, right?" "Right!" "Suppose I put a nice big piece of chocolate cake in front of you but told you you could look at it and smell how good it was but never touch it or taste it. How would that feel?" "Bad. That wouldn't be very nice of you." "Right. So it's the same with you and your... body." "Oh, OK... But can I snuggle against you?" "Sure, anything you'd do with a grown-up ordinarily. You know what's allowed and what's not. Would you show your panties to your father like that?" "No!" she said. "OK, then." I taught Alison new card games. I showed her on my screen how a simple computer program worked. She wanted an American Girl doll, Samantha, so I got it for her, and then the various accessories, one after the other. I got her a glove and we tossed a baseball back and forth in the back yard. I got her interested in a bunch of different board games. She liked to win and tried hard, but she wasn't too bad as a sore loser. Over time I had the pleasure of seeing her get better at losing graciously and winning graciously. I looked at her drawings and listened to the stories she made about them. Now and then I even got an hour of work done as she sat at the table reading or drawing. She asked her father if we could go out and do things together, and he said it was OK. We drove to the playground sometimes, and the mall. --------------------------------------------------------- Alison was snuggled against my side. I'd just finished reading her a book. "I tried that thing with my fingers. It felt kind of nice." "What?" "Fingers rubbing my vagina." "Oh... That's nice." "You're so nice to me. You buy me everything, and take me everywhere, and play every game I want. And help me with my homework and everything." "I'm delighted to do it all for you," I said. "Yeah, but I keep thinking how you'd really like to be making a baby with me, and it makes me sad." "Don't worry about that. Grown-ups are supposed to do things for kids. Then when you grow up you can have kids and do things for them. It all works out." "But most men can get a wife and do sex to them all the time and make babies. You can't do that." "It's true." For a moment she had me feeling sorry for myself. "Would you do that thing pretending like you did when I came out of the closet?" "No!" "I'm curious. And you said you like to do it a lot. Why can't I watch?" "I'd be in trouble if you told about the other thing, but if I let you watch I'd go to prison for sure." "But I'd never tell." "You might." "I didn't tell about the first time." "I'm glad." "If you get to where the sperm comes out and feel really good, is that kind of like eating the cake instead of just looking at it?" I couldn't help smiling. "Yes, yes it is. Sort of. Or... at least like eating a little crumb." Why had I said that? "And if I was there it would be like eating a bite or two?" "Yeah," I said dreamily. "Yeah, it would." "Well, then, why not? You do so much for me." This was madness. "Let me think about it. You think about it too. And every day you think it's a good idea, tell me, and every day you don't, tell me that too." I hoped she'd forget about it. I considered telling her it was out of the question and tell her to never mention it again. That's what I should have done. But I didn't. Every day she told me she'd like to see what it was like. She never told me it wasn't a good idea. After a week, I said, "If we did that... You know what's going to happen when you grow up, right?" "What?" "Grown-ups think that men and women should only see each other doing sexual things when they love each other and really want to do it." "But I want to see -- I want you to do it." "But you don't want to see it because you're a woman who is old enough to have a baby and wants to get a penis inside her to make a baby. That's the way they think it ought to work. So since you're a girl, you can't really want to see it. And so if I did show you, it's because I'm manipulating you to make you want to do it. And they'll say that's all I ever wanted. Everything else was just a sneaky, evil plan to get you to let me do sexual things that you don't really understand." "But it's not like that at all. You keep saying I shouldn't and I'm the one saying we should." "Yeah, but people won't see it that way. And you won't remember it that way." She wasn't satisfied. I had to admit the explanation I was giving sounded pretty lame. I read her a long story. She was snuggled against me, and it was 4:00. "I wanna watch you eat chocolate cake." I laughed, it was such a funny way of putting it. It caught me off guard. This was madness, but... "God forgive me," I said, getting up and locking the front door. ============================================================ Chapter 3 She jumped up and down with excitement, then followed me into the bedroom. She was wearing her blue dress with pink tights and white sneakers, her clean hair pulled back in a pony tail. I pulled down my trousers and briefs to my knees. My cock was by no means small, but it wasn't fully erect either. Looking at lovely little Alison changed that. She naturally looked at it with interest. "It's getting bigger." "Yeah, ordinarily it's little and soft so it isn't in the way. It only gets big when a man is thinking about making a baby." "You mean sticking it in a woman's vagina, because he wants to do it even if he isn't trying to make a baby." "That's right." "Why does it get big?" "A vagina isn't just open. A penis has to be stiff to force its way inside." "OK." My erection was now full. I stripped naked and lay back on the bed. "Do you have to be naked?" "No, but people usually get naked. They enjoy touching each other all over. When they're doing it, men think every part of the woman's body is wonderful, and she thinks the same thing about him. So they don't hide it... So I make believe my hand is a vagina, and I stick it in, like this... And then..." I started rubbing. "Why back and forth like that?" "It's the way people like to do it, I'm not sure just why. But men go in and out and in and out, and women like it when they do." I glanced at Alison's face as she stood beside the bed. So beautiful... so sexy. "And so now, your sex lesson..." "So if I'm here and you look at me, it's more like a real bite than just a crumb?" She smiled and batted her eyelashes. "God, yes.... I'm getting to the eating part soon... Don't laugh too loud, OK?" "OK." "The man would be going in and out of the vagina, faster and faster..." I closed my eyes. "And then..." I peeked at Alison's lithe body in her blue dress right beside me, looking from her head down to her middle and back up again, and it was thrilling. I meant to look away, but I didn't. I deliberately said nothing as cum spurted out of my cock tip, but I couldn't help breathing deeply and sighing. Alison giggled, just a little. What had I done? Given a sex lesson, I guess. Time to go on with it. "So, Alison, all of that... semen would be inside the woman's vagina, and it would stay up there when I pulled my penis out." "Can I touch?" "My penis? No." "I mean the stuff." "OK, if you want." She touched and felt the weird consistency. She brought her fingers to her nose and sniffed. "You didn't say my name." "No, I was giving you a demonstration." "I saw you look at me. And that made it more fun?" "Oh, a lot more fun. Like a bite instead of just a crumb." "It's getting soft." "Yeah, it's all done delivering the sperm to start the baby, so it doesn't need to be hard any more." I cleaned up and got dressed, and we returned to our routine. She'd had her sex education lesson. --------------------------------------------------------- "I want you to be happy." "I'm very happy just having you with me." "I know, but I want you to be happy the other way." "I gave you the sex education lesson." "Thanks. I want you to be happy pretending to make a baby with me." "I... you don't have to... we shouldn't." "I want to." I got up and locked the front door. I shouldn't, I thought, I really shouldn't. But I wanted to so much. In the bedroom I lay on my back, naked. "Can I show you my panties now?" she asked, standing beside the bed. "If I show you more, will that let you have a full bite or two of the cake?" I smiled and gave a guilty nod, as I stroked slowly up and down on my cock. This was her yellow dress. She had on just socks, no tights. She slowly lifted the hem, higher and higher. I moaned. She giggled. "There they are." The white panty cloth came into view. "How about this?" She pulled the dress up over her head and off. I'd never seen her chest before. There wasn't anything special to see, which made it so very special. Flat little nipples on a flat chest. I whimpered and stroked. She laughed. "If I was a big girl, you'd be pushing your penis in... here," she said, pulling her panties down to her knees and pointing at her slit. "Right... here," she said, pulling her labia to the sides. I groaned and ejaculated, awash in ecstasy. The first blob sailed over my head and hit the wall. The second landed on my cheek. She looked with amazement. "Oh, Alison," I said. "That was amazing." "Oh, I'm so glad." She sat beside me on the bed and dipped her finger into the pool of semen on my belly. "Does more come out the happier you are?" I smiled. "Maybe a little, but not much. I guess my body just shoots out however much is ready." "So this would go in the woman's vagina... Would it be bad for me to put this in my vagina now?" I groaned plaintively. "What is it?" "That's the hottest idea ever." She laughed. "Really? And it won't do any harm?" "No... I don't see how it could, really." She smiled, then sat below me on the bed with legs spread wide, held her pussy lips open with her left hand and took a finger of goop in the other. "It goes right in... here! The spermies can pretend they're making a baby." She stuck her index finger into her vagina. To my surprise, two knuckles fit. "Have a nice swim!" She took another fingerful and shoved that in too. "All the little sperms can take a swim in my vagina." She looked up at me. "You look like you're going to faint!" "I think I might." "Because you're happy." I nodded. She laughed. "Now it's kind of gooey in there. So if my finger was your thing, it would go like this..." She shoved the middle finger in and out, then glanced at me. "Hey, it got stiff again." "Yeah, that's so sexy." Maybe I gave her a hopeful smile, I don't remember. She stopped and smiled. "I want to go to the playground now. Will you take me to the playground?" "Sure thing, Alison my dear," I said, just mildly disappointed. I feasted my eyes on her naked body as she started to get dressed. And when she was, I realized how the public parts were so sexy too... Her hair was down, those lovely hands, and there was her gorgeous face, brimming with enthusiasm. I got dressed and went to the playground and we had a wonderful time. --------------------------------------------------------- The next day she stripped naked and danced for me. She showed me where my "thing" would go in and pushed her own finger in. Make-believe. The day after that she said, "You want to touch me?" "I'd love to." Her shoes and socks were discarded in the living room, leaving bare legs under her blue dress. "Just lie down." She lay down. I ran my fingers over her arms. I took each finger of hers in mine and caressed it and examined it closely, then kissed it. I leaned my head close to hers and stroked her hair gently, then her cheek and her ear. I ran my fingers down her nose and ever so gently back and forth on her lips. I leaned in to kiss her ear and her cheek. As I started maneuvering for her lips, she turned away a little. I took the hint. I moved my hand down to her knee and caressed it with my fingers. She looked over at me then with an interested smile, which made me realize she had found my caresses of her upper body less exciting -- maybe even boring. As I swirled my fingers around, I moved to her inner thighs, sliding ever higher. It was amazing. My hand was up under her dress, and finally I touched the cloth of her panties and gasped. She had been watching me with interest and now giggled. "They're just panties!" she said. "I know, I know," I said, reaching back down and moving her skirt up. "Why not see all of me?" she said, sitting up to take the dress off completely. "Leave the panties," I said. "OK," she said and lay back down. I ran my hand gently over her chest, but she squirmed and laughed and said, "It tickles!" I lay beside her and stroked her hair with one hand while the other caressed the outside of her other thigh. "I don't get it. The part of me you dream about most is my vagina, and that's the one part you left covered up." "Really? Maybe I've forgotten where your vagina is." She looked at me and rolled her eyes. I looked under one armpit, then the other, and had her turn her head to the side to look at the back of her neck. She giggled. "You're silly!" "Open wide... Nope, that's not a vagina," I said. I slid my finger under the waistband of her panties and slid it from side to side. "That's promising." I next slid the finger under the elastic the right leg went through and slid it back and forth, caressing. And then I sat up, slowly lifted the elastic in front out from her body until the slit came into view, then took in my breath sharply. "I think it's there!" I said. "You're like a little kid!" she said. I remembered that there was lots of other play she wanted to do today, so I sped things up. I tugged on her panties and she lifted her butt to let me pull them down. I brought my face close and then stroked one finger down over her right outer lip, then her left, then the center. I dabbed my tongue briefly on the right outer lip. "Eewwww!" she said, squirming and giggling. So I kept my tongue to myself. "I bet there's something wonderful in there," I said. "Can I look inside?" She smiled and nodded. I opened the lips and found her girl parts within, the little clitoris, the pee hole, and the vaginal opening. I groaned. "You want to put your finger inside?" she asked. I nodded. She then held herself open, while I got up on my knees and stroked my cock idly with my left hand. Then I gently pressed my right little finger against her vaginal opening. It went in a little, and I gasped. "You could put it in more," she said, and I tried another millimeter. "Here, let me do it," she said, and grabbed my finger and shoved. It went in amazingly far. I groaned, jerked my left hand five times and ejaculated, imagining my little finger as my penis, imagining the sperm flooding her little vagina. The sperm shot onto her stomach. She laughed. "So was that a tasty piece of cake?" "Oh, very tasty," I said. "We shouldn't be doing this." "I like it. It's fun. And I like seeing you happy like that." It had been a long session, and I was afraid I was testing Alison's patience. She liked the naughty parts best. --------------------------------------------------------- "How come you never suggest doing it?" asked Alison. "Well, we shouldn't. We should never have started, and we should stop now." "But when I suggest it you go along." "Yeah, yeah, I have so far, haven't I... But at the very least, it's got to be your idea." "I ask you to do things all the time -- the park, the playground, the zoo, the doll house and everything." "I know, but sex is different. We shouldn't be doing it at all. You'll probably hate me when you grow up. So, well, the first instant you have a doubt, we should stop." "OK," she said, sighing. "I'll never hate you. But you're not doing it just for me?' I stifled a laugh, but she saw. "Didn't think so," she said smugly. --------------------------------------------------------- "Can I rub your thing with my hand like you do?" "Oh, gosh... if you really want to." "Like this?" "That's fine. You've seen me do it." "Yeah, but your hand is a lot bigger." "You're doing fine." It felt great. "Do you... do you want the sperm to come out? It might get on your fingers and make them sticky." "That's OK. I want it to come out. I want you to feel good." She looked at me with such a warm smile that I ejaculated right then. It got all over her fingers. She laughed. --------------------------------------------------------- "We could pretend we're having sex... I'll lie back and you lie on me. That's the way they do it, right?" "Usually -- it's the most common way." "But don't stick it in, right? That would hurt!" "Oh, of course not!" She stripped naked and lay back. "Could you.. let your hair free?" "Oh, like this?" She reached back to pull the scrunchy off. She pulled the hair around front so some of it lay on her chest. I nodded and looked at her... Eight-year-old perfection, most notably the slender, bare girl lips were showing, but also the slender legs and thighs, a child's flat tummy, flat chest, arms, that gorgeous hair, the blue eyes, and best of all that smile. "The first thing I'd do is rub you between the legs, like this." "OK.... why?" "To start you feeling good. Like when you did it yourself? People sometimes think it's even nicer when someone else does it. And it would make your vagina get wet so the penis would slide in and out easier." "The sperm would make it slide easier, like that other time." "Kind of, but it's the wrong order... the penis has to go in and out first, before the sperm comes out. This kind of wet comes from your own body. It needs to get slippery first..." I rubbed patiently, searching her face to clues as to what felt best. "How's that?" I said after a minute. "OK," she said, without enthusiasm. "I want you to be happy." "Does it feel warm and nice in a special way?" "Kind of, I guess. What about you?" "We could make a make-believe vagina. If you spit on your hand and rub it around, then make a little pocket between your hand and your tummy... like that." I slid my cock between her tummy and her hands. "Oh," said Alison, in make-believe mode. "I can feel that big penis in my vagina. It feels so good. Give me a baby!" she said with a winning smile. I thrust hard and surged goo out onto her tummy. Alison giggled. --------------------------------------------------------- She had led me to the bedroom again. She lay back, naked, legs spread wide, ready to do make-believe sex again. "You know, Alison, I thought of the naughtiest, most fun thing of all, I think..." I said. "What is it?" "You get your hands all wet with spit... Good. Then make a pretend vagina right there in front of the real one... Good... Now I get up on you, and insert it..." I pushed my cock into the little fake pussy between her hands. Her hands formed the side walls of a vagina, but when I bumped the deep end, I was actually bumping her labia. "You can get closer... Try this," she said, using her little fingers to open her girl lips while the others made the pretend vagina. "Get it as close as you can. Maybe some will go inside!" She looked very pleased with her idea. I'd removed my penis to see what she was up to, and now I inserted it again between her wet hands. When the tip hit her vaginal opening, it felt special. A kiss of man genitals on girl genitals. As my excitement built to a peak, my eyes were glued to my cock, the end in Alison's tight hands, the tip nudged right against her vagina. It was so good, so right, so wonderful... and orgasm was upon me. She beamed and said, "Oooooo" when she felt my sperm gush out and mess up her girl parts. I let myself down slowly and turned on my back. She turned over against my side and draped her leg across me. She realized her pussy was sticky. "You made my privates all gooey, so I'm going to make your leg gooey," she said. "Oh, that's just fine," I said smiling, relieved, and very happy. "I wish I knew how good it felt," she said. "Yeah, that's too bad about that. Even when you rub yourself it doesn't really feel good?" "Nope," she said. "We're going out for Chinese food, right?" "Absolutely!" --------------------------------------------------------- "I've got a present for you," I said. "It's not wrapped." "No, it's kind of a secret present. It didn't feel right to wrap it. In fact, it's kind of a loan." I handed her a Hitachi vibrator. I turned the switch and she felt it vibrating in her hand. "What's it for?" "When you're all alone, in bed, try that on your private parts different ways, and see if you don't find one way that feels really good. If you're really lucky, you'll get a good feeling like I do, a big wave of pleasure and then you feel like you've had enough. It's called an orgasm." "OK," she said. "But don't let your daddy find it!" "Why don't I keep it here instead?" "But you don't sleep here." "Why's that matter? There's your bedroom." "Oh... great idea!" "You want to watch?" "Oh, hmmm, maybe later, but I think you'd be freer to try different things and take your time if I'm not right there." She disappeared into my bedroom and shut the door. I pretended I was working but didn't see a thing on the screen. Fifteen minutes later I heard her cry out softly. She had gone into the room with her dress on, but she emerged stark naked, holding the vibrator and smiling. The slim body, the perfect skin, blond hair, dimples, smile, big blue eyes -- and plump little hairless labia -- it was an amazing sight. She said, "Oh, wow. So that's how you feel?" "If you had a breaking wave and then felt satisfied, then yes." "Yeah, that's right. Oh, this is the best present ever. Can I show you?" "Now?" "Yeah, I want to feel that again! To have another orgasm." "I'll want to stroke and spurt -- my orgasm." "Oh, sure, yeah, that would be good." She lay on her back, legs spread wide, and applied the vibrator right where I'd expected she would, right above her clitoris. Her eyes were closed as she applied the device. I knelt below her, wanking away, looking intently where vibrator met girl. When she twitched and gasped, I twitched and gasped too, sending gobs of sperm onto her belly. When I caught my breath, I said, "See if your vagina is wet inside." "I know my tummy's wet on the outside!" she said with mock disapproval, looking between my face and the sticky ropes. She investigated inside. "It is!" --------------------------------------------------------- Alison had tapered off to suggesting sexual play every second or third day, but now she suggested it every single day. She gave herself an orgasm with the vibrator while I watched. She said she liked how I liked looking at her feeling happy. "What else would you like? Jill said sometimes girls take a boy's thing in their mouths, but I think that's gross." "Oh, we won't then, that's fine. What I want? I can never have what I want." "What is it?" "No point saying it, because it can never happen." She paused and continued softly. "You want to get that penis into my vagina? It's so big!" "I know, it would never fit. That's why it's never going to happen. But you asked, so I told you." I took on a brighter tone. "But you've let me do so much already I never dreamed in a million years I'd ever be able to do. You're so nice to me." "It's fun," she said. "And you're nice to me." We were silent. "When does a vagina get bigger?" "Oh, I imagine somewhere in puberty -- when a girl grows breasts and hips and gets pubic hair." It was apparent that none of that was happening to her. "I'm nine now." "Yes, a big girl!" I had taken her out for an ice cream sundae on her birthday. "Can I hurt myself poking around down there?" "From what I hear, if it doesn't feel too bad, you can't do any damage to yourself." It's true! It's what I had heard! "They say it's pretty stretchy." --------------------------------------------------------- Alison started using the vibrator less, but still wanted to do sex every day. When I asked why she stopped with the vibrator, she explained that it felt good but she mostly wanted me to be happy. We lay entwined on the bed in the wake of our sex play. She had made her special little tunnel with her hands and I had splatted my sperm right in her opening. "You really want to get it inside me." "It's my dream, yes. But I don't expect it will ever happen." "I've tried with the hairbrush handle. It kinda hurts when I try." "Then don't do it. I'm so lucky -- incredibly lucky -- that you've wanted to do any of this at all." "Would you be twice as happy if you could get it in?" I paused. "Ten times as happy." "Why?" "Well..." Why was it, exactly? "I'm made to want to start babies. If a man leaves his sperm on a woman's tummy, it can't start any babies. The only real way is for the man to get his penis in there and spurt it inside the woman. I'm a little off in the head, and I like little girls instead of grown women, but I'm the same. So that's what I want more than anything." She was silent, looking thoughtful. I tried another tack. "If your daddy had been happy to leave his sperm on your mommy's tummy, you never would have been born. It's only because he really wanted to put it inside your mommy that you're here." She nodded. ============================================================ Chapter 4 A week went by and it was our same routine each day -- she made her little pretend vagina, I kissed my cock tip right at her opening and ejaculated right there. I still played make-believe with her, read her stories, took her to the park, ordered in pizza, helped with her homework, and did much of her laundry. And then one Sunday she didn't suggest any sex. She didn't suggest it Monday or Tuesday either. I was determined to say nothing. I'd always said we should stop whenever she didn't feel like it, and if she'd decided to stop, then that's the way it was. And then Wednesday afternoon she suggested it again, and when we were naked on the bed she said, "You're so nice to me." "I love your company and love doing things for you." "And you'd be nice to me if we never did sexy things again?" "Yes," I said, meaning it, though more complicated feelings churned inside. She took out the vibrator and applied it. My erection rose strongly. She noticed and smiled. I waited for her to climax, but she turned the vibrator off and set it aside. I lay beside her, and she said, "One end of the hairbrush is for my hair, the other is my vagina-stretcher. A couple days ago I got it in. It hurt!" "You shouldn't have if it hurt!" I said. "It was sore for a couple days, so I didn't want to do anything with sex. But I checked today. It's not sore. The handle went in and doesn't hurt." She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "But I did it. I made it big enough. You can stick your thing in." I looked at her with wonder. I had an impulse to kiss her, but remembered she hadn't liked that idea before. "Oh, Alison," I whispered. "But you have to let me see your face. I want to see ten times as happy." I mounted, she spread her lips, and I nestled my cock tip right at her opening. I'd had it there many times before. But now... I pressed, looking down to where my tip was starting to push her tissues in, but then I remembered and looked at her face. With just a bit more pressure, I felt her ring of muscles slowly dilate, a second that lasted a delicious eternity. And as they finished dilating, my cock tip had eased inside of her body! She giggled. My excitement was indescribable. I pushed in and out just a little, but couldn't hold back. After ten quick little thrusts, my explosion happened. "Oh my God, oh, my God, oh my God!" I said, panting like crazy. Sperm shot out of me and into little Alison in five big spurts. I wasn't really in far enough to keep my cock seated inside her, so when I stopped spurting it slid out. "Oh, Alison, that was the most amazing thing ever!" I said kissing her cheeks, stroking her hair. She beamed up at me. "I love seeing you happy," and she squeezed me tight. "I could tell it was more. So was that like eating a big piece of cake?" "That was like eating a whole cake." I slid off onto my back, and smiled, feeling dreamy as I looked at the ceiling. "Rich chocolate cake with nuts, bittersweet frosting. Raspberry between layers and a dusting of sugar..." "Will you get a tummy ache from so much cake?" She had an impish grin. "No, oh no. Just the good parts of cake-eating. The taste." I mouthed chewing and swallowing with pleasure. "And now that's all you want?" "Yes, that's all... Well, I'd love to do it again, over and over, but that's all I want to do." "You barely got it inside me." "I didn't know how deep you were. I didn't want to get greedy... You didn't finish with the vibrator. Why not? You want to finish now?" "I wanted to see if I really wanted it in me like a big girl would. But I didn't." She shrugged. I handed her the vibrator. "You want to finish up now?" She smiled and took the vibrator and applied it while I nibbled her ear. A minute later she gasped, turned it off and put it aside. My cock was hard again and I gently pushed it against her thigh. "You want to do it AGAIN?" she said with mock annoyance, then gave me a big smile. "OK, go ahead." Whimpering with excitement, I mounted, aimed and slid in. "You made me soupy in there, soupier than it gets from the vibrator," she said. "That's nice. It slides even easier now." I achieved my previous depth and then pressed and she opened up inside another quarter of an inch. "You tell me if it hurts." She nodded but looked at me. "It sure is big -- but it feels OK." "Every little bit extra is like a whole new miracle," I said, trying another quarter inch. Finally at three inches there was an obstruction on the inside. She looked at me with a mischievous expression. "So now I suppose you're going to pee in me again?" "Only if it's OK." "Sure, go ahead, because I love you and want you to be happy. Start a baby in my tummy." What a fantasy! I slid in and out with long, deep strokes, getting faster and faster, constantly on the lookout for a flinch or an "ouch" from little Alison, but none was forthcoming. I moaned and cried out again as I delivered another load, this one much further up inside little nine-year-old Allie's vagina. This time I left my cock inside and settled down on top of her, but holding my own weight. I kissed her cheeks. She kissed me on the lips for the first time. "Like they do in the movies," she said. "I figure if you're going to do sex to me you ought to be willing to kiss me." "I would have kissed you any time," I said. "I know that," she said with a smile. "Your penis is still in my vagina." "I'll happily remove it if you'd like." "No, it's warm and nice. But it's getting soft." "Yeah, it does that." We kissed a little more, but it was clear she wasn't really into it. "Wait... it's getting hard again." "Yeah, it is." "You wanna do it again, one more time?" she asked. "Only if you want," I said. "Oh, go ahead." I started thrusting again and she said, "It's so easy to make you happy." My excitement built. "I can tell when you're about to piddle," she said. "It gets extra big." "Can I piddle again?" "Hmmm," she said, pretending to consider it, then broke into a smile. "Course you can... piddle away." So I did, gasping and moaning again. --------------------------------------------------------- The next day she led me to the bed, stripped and lay back in missionary position. "Is it wet enough?" I asked, my cock sticking out strongly from my body. She stuck her finger into herself. "Not so wet. Does it have to be wet?" "Well, we can see..." "Hmmmm, ow!" I instantly withdrew. "I figured it probably wasn't. They say even grown women have to get ready." She took the vibrator and applied it. "I can feel my vagina getting bigger when I do that." She turned it off after 15 seconds and explored again. "Wetter too!" I mounted and eased my cock in. It was a tight fit, but this time it went in smoothly. I slid in and out, face slack with pleasure. It felt so good I wanted to make it last. For a while she looked at me with interest, but after ten minutes she looked away. Time to finish up, I figured. If she asked me to pull out before I finished, I would, but... She felt my pace pick up and looked back at my face with interest. To be plunging into gorgeous little Alison was amazing. Finally, ecstasy rising, I thrust tight against her innards and held perfectly still, cock spewing in her little pussy. It was the first time I'd held still when I came inside her, and she said, "I could feel it twitching!" I pulled out and she snuggled against me. "I realized I said all I wanted was to get it into you and 'piddle' in there. But just now I wanted to make it last longer because it feels so good. But that's like asking for more, right? That's not nice of me. I want to allow plenty of time to do all the things you like." "Yeah... How much nicer is it if you take a long time?" "It doesn't matter, because I promised." "Still, how much?" "Oh, not even half again as much. So I'm really happy keeping my word." We got up, got dressed, went to the playground, and I took her out for ice cream. Then I read her a story and helped her with her homework just a little. She didn't need help, but appreciated a little encouragement. Later that afternoon, I said, "You sure about all this sex stuff? So much of it?" "Yeah, it hurt a little to get it big enough, but now it is I want to make you happy a lot." I gave her a tender hug. --------------------------------------------------------- She took my hand to tug me into the bedroom, stripped, and applied the vibrator for twenty seconds. That's all it took. "You want to try something different?" I said. "What?" "Do you know how dogs and cats and horses and other animals do it?" "Oh, where he like climbs on her back?" "Yeah. Well, people can do it that way too." "Really?" "Yeah." I showed her how to put herself. "Meeooww! I'm a girl cat, and the boy cat's going to give me kittens." "Meeeowww!" I said, playing along. Her face was pointed away from me, leaving me to appreciate her golden hair. But what I saw most was her little narrow butt, and between her cheeks below her little poop hole was a pair of delicate little hairless lips. I knew what treasure lay inside. So I opened them with my fingers, found the prize, aimed, and slid in. I had her hips in my hands, and resisted the tendency to shove in hard... her pussy wasn't all that deep. It was terrifically erotic, and in under 30 seconds I was on the edge. I looked at where we were joined. The visible part of my cock ended where her girl lips had stretched to make a tight ring around me. The upper part was in hot, slick heaven. She'd welcomed me inside and wanted me to be happy -- to ejaculate my load of sperm inside her. So I did, in tune with indescribable pleasure. "Meeoww! Thanks for the kittens." We kicked a soccer ball around in the back yard, took a quick trip to the playground, and then she started reading me a story. She's a decent reader, but she found it tiring, so I finished it for her while she snuggled against me. --------------------------------------------------------- She locked the door and disappeared into the bedroom but didn't invite me. I thought I heard the vibrator. She emerged, dressed as she had been before in her light blue dress, white tights and pink sneakers. "Let's play house," she said. We moved some pillows and sofa cushions around to make a house. I went off to work as she directed, sitting at my terminal, pretending. She told me it was time to come home, and I did. She served me a delicious dinner from pretend plates. "Hey, I think we should have a baby. Do you want to have a baby?" "Oh, yes, that sounds great!" I made sure the curtains were closed, then she pulled her dress up to her stomach and her panties down to her knees, and then she lay back on the floor on a blanket we'd used as part of our make-believe set-up. "You've got put your penis in my vagina and give me baby goop," she said. "I hope you don't mind." "No, I don't mind," I said. Following her lead, I just pulled trousers and underpants down to my own knees. I lay down on her and slid my husbandly erection into my wife's slick pussy. "Now give me the goop," she said. In under a minute, I convulsed and gave her lots of goop. "Thank you!" she said as I slid off her. "Time to go to sleep!" She went right on with the game. I pretended going to work the next day and came home, had supper, and she said we had to keep trying to make a baby. Once wasn't enough. So I gave her some more goop. The part about actually starting a baby was make-believe, but my cock shoving into her pussy, straining, pumping, electric with pleasure, spurting semen -- that was all very real. --------------------------------------------------------- She got into a pattern of dropping her stuff in her own apartment after school, coming to my place, taking 30 seconds in the bedroom to get ready, and then inviting me for sex. I asked her why she always started the afternoons that way, and she said she wanted to be nice to me and wanted to make sure she never forgot. Then we could do all the things she loved for the rest of the day. That made sense. An organized girl. I asked what she'd think of sitting on the kitchen counter, on the very edge with legs wide apart and let me go at her standing up. She liked that. She suggested it herself a week later. I suggested we try girl-on-top position. She thought it was funny trying all different ways before she got my cock tip inside and figured the right angle to squat down onto me. She pressed down harder than I would have dared, pushing my cock tight against the top of her pussy. She said it hurt a little, but not too much and she wanted to do it. She then slid up and down on me. "Come on out, little spermies. Come out for a swim in Allie's little spermy swimming pool!" That made my male apparatus go into fertilization mode at once. I shot millions of little spermies up into Allie's little sperm swimming pool. I trusted she was OK with all this sex, since she always initiated it. But there were nagging doubts. This time she was the one who had forced my thick, hard sperm injector up into her tender if stretchy pussy, so I felt a little extra reassurance. --------------------------------------------------------- "Let's not take off any clothes!" she said. "You just stick it out through your fly..." She seated me in the middle of the sofa, and I worked my stiff cock through the fly of my underpants and trousers. She was wearing her yellow dress and white tights. She lowered herself onto me, her dress shielding from view what was happening. I wondered how this was going to work. But sure enough, after a few seconds of holding my cock and lowering herself, it went up into the hot, slick heaven between her legs. "Ha! See?" she said, looking at the two of us, then turning to right and left to look some more. "I'm just sitting on your lap. No one would know!" I didn't have a very deep penetration, but I felt a strong desire to deliver. I held her butt off of me an inch and thrust up into her twenty times before groaning and twitching, with immense satisfaction. "Ooooo, that felt really good, I could see!" she said, moving her face in to rub noses with me. "How... How did it get through the tights?" I said. I'd wondered before, but my imperative was to wet her innards first, ask questions later. "There was a little rip. When I was putting them on this morning I thought how if it was just a little bigger your thing could fit through, so I ripped it just a little more. And I was naughty and didn't wear any panties underneath!" "It certainly was exciting. You're so creative. And I'll be delighted to buy you more tights that don't have rips." She beamed as she lifted herself off me. I stuffed my slick, floppy cock back through my fly and zipped it up. --------------------------------------------------------- We had just done an old-fashioned naked missionary-position copulation on my bed. She sat up, crossed her legs and looked at me. "I love making you happy," she said. "But you wanna know how it kinda seems to me?" "Sure! How does it seem to you?" "I've got this hole between my legs, down in the land of dirty pee and poop. I'm not using it for anything else, so I don't mind. But... you're a grown man, an adult, supposed to be all mature. You've got a thing, like all boys and men do, but when you see my little slit and think about that hole, your thing gets huge and hard. It's so big it must be important, and you act like it's the center of everything. It comes out of your underpants, where you've got your own poop hole, and the thing is naughty because it's for peeing usually. But then it gets big and hard, and you wanna slide it into my hole and stretch it really big, and go in and out, like it's the most important thing in the world, and then even though you're toilet-trained, you have an accident on purpose and shoot smelly, sticky stuff up into my little hole. If a couple kids did anything like that you'd say we were really naughty. What you do is really naughty, but you want to do it more than anything. And... it's just strange! Weird!" I smiled. "Yeah, when you put it like that it's pretty strange... So should we stop?" "No, it's OK. I mean I love making you happy, it's so easy. It's kind of like if I had some friend and what she wanted me to do more than anything was to hold her pinkie and squeeze it. So I'd squeeze it for a minute and she'd act like we'd played some amazing fun game. But I look at the hole when I'm alone, my vagina, and it seems so ordinary. Just a hole. Nothing exciting about it." "But it does feel really good when you put the vibrator right nearby, right?" "Yeah, but that's different. It doesn't have to do with the hole." "It makes the hole get bigger and wet." "Yeah, I know. I know that's what the hole is for, and that's just weird too." "Well, sex is kind of ridiculous if you think about it as two bodies just deciding to do something together. Even adults think that when they stop and think about it the ordinary way... And it sure is nice of you to believe me when I say it's what I love more than anything, and you're kind to suggest all those different things we do." "All different, but all the same too. It always ends with sperm up in my vagina." "True. We don't have to end that way if you don't want." "But it's what you like best, right?" "Yeah, that's right." --------------------------------------------------------- "We learned about sexual abuse in school today." "Oh." I grew a little nervous. "How your private parts are private and no one has the right to touch you where bathing suits cover up. Or to show you their private parts. Or show you pictures of other people's private parts. That's one thing you haven't done, show me any pictures." "Uh, sorry. You feel deprived?" "No. They said I shouldn't let anyone make me keep a secret. And always tell a parent or teacher or trusted grown-up." "And..." I said, trying to be calm and patient. "So, let's see, you're the grown-up I trust most." She smiled and reached over to kiss me on the cheek. "Grown-up, there's this man who shows me his private parts, and lets me show him mine, and gets naked with me, and touches me between the legs. And he sticks his big fat penis into my vagina and goes in and out and in and out and piddles special naughty piddle inside me. Do you think I'm being abused?" "Hmmmmm. What do you think?" "I don't think so, because it started when I snuck into his bedroom and invaded his privacy, and then I kept asking how to make him happy. He said no but I kept pestering him. And he does wonderful things for me all the time. So I choose to do this thing that he finds wonderful. My body. My choice." "Oh, good," I said softly. "They said grown-ups do things with each other's private parts when they get married, but that we kids don't know enough to know what it's all about, so we shouldn't." "That's... that is the one thing I worry about sometimes." She shrugged. "They didn't say there was anything wrong with a man giving you a vibrator. And so I know what it is to feel really good down there, and I know people want to make babies, and you're a little bit off in the head so you want to try making babies in me all the time. And I'm happy to offer you what you like so much." "Good." "Hey, next time let's pretend I don't want to do it and you're making me." "Oh, well, OK. That's not something that would make me especially happy." "I think it would be fun!" --------------------------------------------------------- We were naked on my bed. She had her legs closed tight and her hands in front of her privates. "Oh, not there!" she said brightly. "Yes, your private parts. You've got to let me see your private parts." "No..." she whimpered. I pulled her hands away. She didn't resist much but crossed her legs tighter. "Not there. It's private! Only a bad man would..." I forced her legs apart. She resisted strongly but it didn't really slow me down. "My mommy always said to keep my private parts covered!" "Ha ha, let me cover them for you!" I said, lying on her. She laughed. "You're not supposed to make jokes! Bad men don't make jokes!" "Oh, OK. I've got to violate you, baby. Got to get into those privates and be very bad." "No," she whimpered, struggling. I had both her wrists in my left hand, held up above her head and pressed against the mattress. I had pinned her legs apart with my knees, I had my full weight on her and aimed my cock with my right hand. She struggled hard. I paused and looked at her. She looked worried. "You sure? We can stop any time." Her face relaxed and she said, "No, go on and stick it in." I hesitated a bit longer. "Really, go ahead!" I stuck it in, held up my own weight but kept her hands pinned up above her head. In all of twenty seconds I ejaculated, pumping sperm up into Allie's girly part, the part of a girl custom-made for making men ejaculate and and then holding the stuff inside. I pulled out and lay on my back. "You OK?" "Yeah, I'm fine. I just realized that you really could do it to me even if I tried my hardest not to let you." "Yeah, I guess. We men are strong. But you know I'd never do that, right? I checked with you. Were you ever scared?" "Just a little, just before you stopped and asked me." "Well, I'm sorry about that. We shouldn't do that any more." --------------------------------------------------------- "I got an idea," said Alison with a wicked little grin. "Whenever you stick your penis in me, I'm going to eat an M&M. You put something in me *you* really like, and I'll put something in me that *I* really like. And then when I finish that one, I'll eat another, and another, as long as you're poking it in and out of me." We had ice cream sometimes, I had allowed her some candy, but I limited it. "Hmmm, OK." "And then you better not take too long or I'll eat too much candy." She put a little pile of M&M's next to her on the bed. She had a red one in her hand, and when she felt my tip slide into her vagina, she slid it into her mouth. "Mmmmm, that's nice!" she said. I knew she didn't mean the surge of a big man penis into her small if flexible little vagina. She chewed with her mouth open and swallowed that one fast, then put a brown one and a yellow one in at the same time. "Delicious!" she said. I pumped my cock in and out vigorously. She then got two green ones and a red one and put them in her mouth. "Hey," I said, panting. "I thought you said... one at a time..." "Yeah, so? You're poking in and out with your big, fat penis and you're complaining about how many M&Ms I'm eating?" "Yeah, well... I only have... one penis in you..." She laughed at that. "But it's big... if I put M&Ms in my mouth until it was as much as your thing..." I didn't want to give my girl a tummy ache... so I pressed harder and faster. "Uh-oh, you're almost finished..." She grabbed five M&Ms and stuffed them in her mouth. "Oh, that's so nice!" she murmured as she chewed, chocolate and bits of bright candy casing mushed together in her mouth visible when it was open. It was kind of erotic in its own way. "Oh, Alison!" I cried, pushing in tight and pulsing my seed into her. She reached for more M&Ms. "Hey, I finished..." I said. "Your thing is still inside me!" "But you like me to keep it... there for a while, right?" She considered. "Yeah, OK," she said. "Just these then..." She put another four M&Ms in her mouth. "Hey, you know how a penis and vagina together work like M&Ms?" "No, how." "They both make it so the gooey stuff comes out inside your body instead of on the outside!" I laughed. She was very clever. "I guess you're right about that." I reached over and grabbed two M&Ms and put them in my mouth. Next time she slid the M&M into *my* mouth as my cock slid into her. I do like M&Ms, but I'm afraid I didn't taste a thing, as the pleasure from below drowned out anything from mere taste buds. She did the M&M thing a few more times, but then lost interest in it. --------------------------------------------------------- "I got a plan," she said. "You get naked and lie on the kitchen floor and I'll impale myself on you." "OK," I said. The linoleum was hard, but the discomfort would be nothing compared to the pleasure. She fondled my cock with one hand and squatted right over my balls. Then I felt a flood of warm liquid and looked to see her peeing! "Allie!" I said with surprise. "What? Why?" She stuck her tongue out at me. "You've been peeing me over and over again so I thought I'd pee you for once!" Linoleum was waterproof. We were both naked, but still... "Well, I'll expect you to clean this up! There are rags..." My erection was rapidly fading. She looked at me, pouting just a little. I changed my tune completely. "I would be delighted to clean all this up, Allie. And you can pee on me here whenever you want." She smiled and kissed me, then got up. "I drank extra and made sure not to pee when I got home so I'd have a whole bunch." "Yeah, that's quite a bit!" I got a rag from under the sink and sopped up the worst of it off me and both our feet, then said, "Follow me." In the bathroom I soaked a washcloth with warm water and carefully cleaned up Allie's privates, legs and feet, before finishing cleaning myself. "I'm gonna read," she said, returning to the living room while I finished up in the kitchen. For once she didn't invite me to ... relieve myself inside her that day. But the next day she did, and we were back to the usual. --------------------------------------------------------- One day I said, "You know what would be great is if you could use the vibrator at the same time I'm going in and out." "How would that work?" she said. "It would get in the way." "Well, from the rear..." We tried setting up that way, but with one hand holding the vibrator she only had one to hold herself up in front, and the tripod wasn't so stable. "OK, next idea... Turn on your side.... " I got behind her and poked my hard cock up towards her. "Now you use the vibrator, and when you're feeling ready, tell me and I'll slide it in." "OK," she said, "That's sneaky." After just thirty seconds she said, "OK, you can stick it in." I found her opening from the rear and slid it in gently, then began an in and out. "Hey, that's nice!" she said. "I kind of like the in and out when it's like this!" "Should I just go ahead and finish?" I said. "Whatever you want... it feels so good I could do this forever!" I thrust into my little girl from the rear, invading her, getting myself in good and deep. And then I surged in and out rhythmically, taking my time, treasuring each thrust and each erotic wet embrace from her pussy. "Well, maybe not forever", she said after ten minutes. I moved into business mode, then I lunged up into her as I emptied my balls inside her again. At the same time she gave a gasp and squeak and then turned the vibrator off. "That was the nicest ever," she said. "I could tell when you were going to pee and I did it so I had my orgasm at the same moment." "That's great," I said, keeping my cock up inside her. We just lay like that for a few minutes, my arm over her, her spooned in my arms. But then my cock got stiff again and I began thrusting gently. She turned over her shoulder and looked at me. "You think my vagina is a toilet?" "No, no, not at all!" She broke into a smile. "That's what a vagina is for, I guess. Being a toilet for boys." "Not really." "Well, I can never have a baby unless I let a boy pee in me like you do." "True," I said. "So go ahead and pee. You do your business." That was a crude way of putting it, but I couldn't really argue with her. I did my business up inside my amazing, wonderful, angelic little girl. --------------------------------------------------------- The rhythmic intrusion of my penis at the same time she was getting stimulated by the vibrator made her more interested than usual. The next day she led me right to the bedroom when she got in from school. We did it twice from the rear on our sides. The first time she used her vibrator to come when I did. The second time she just sighed with contentment. Then she led me there again after supper. We did the same combination. After a few days she went back to just suggesting it once a day. Just because something feels good doesn't mean you want to do it all the time. --------------------------------------------------------- She called me into the bedroom. She was lying on the bed, flat on her back. The sheet was over all of her except where her pussy was showing. She only had the sheet over one leg, but the intention was clear enough. "Oh, goodness," I said. "All I see is the most lovely set of little girl parts in the whole world." She was just playing around, but when none of the rest of the gorgeous little girl was visible, it did accentuate the beauty and perfection of her visible genitals. "I guess if someone left them sitting out here, it must mean they'll be happy to gobble up my penis if I slide it in. Let me open up to find the secret entrance... There it is... Now time to go exploring in the cave..." I pressed in, and as always her tissues gave way around me. She pulled the sheet off her face, and I was amazed all over again at just how gorgeous it was, her cheeks and nose and dimples and smile and those big blue eyes. She mimicked a younger girl. "I used my buzzy friend to get a big fat happy-happy, but it started a fire way up inside my private hole, you know... If you peed out a lot of special pee up there it would put it out." That was an amazing thought. Five strokes later I did just as she suggested, pumping a whole bunch of special goo into her upper vagina. "That way your penis is good for something at least," she said with a smile. "Like you need a ladder to get a hose up high enough to put out a fire on the top floor. So it's only your big fat thing that can put the goop high enough to put out a fire way up there." She pulled the sheet out from between us and tossed it aside. "Did you have a fire up inside?" I left my cock tight inside her. "A pretend fire?" "Sort of. Well, not really. Depends on the kind of pretend. It didn't hurt. But I used the vibrator to get a big fat orgasm -- it was a really good one -- and afterward I did feel kind of warm. I thought it would be a great idea to get your big fat thing way up there and pumping out the goop." "You mean I did you a favor this time?" "No," she said. "Not really. Well, maybe a little. As long as you really wanted to -- and you always really want to -- it sounded good." My cock had been shrinking but now it was growing inside of her again. "Better make sure the fire is really out?" I said hopefully. "Yeah, OK," she said. She giggled, then spit on her hand and wiped it across my brow. "To keep you cool." I didn't mind in the least. While I was pumping in and out, she had fun spitting on her fingers and decorating my chest and neck and cheeks with girl spit. I made sure the fire was out. Service with the volunteer fire department... so rewarding. --------------------------------------------------------- She played hide and seek. There weren't too many good places to hide in my small place. I'd find her in my bedroom closet, or the hall closet, or behind the sofa. She hid naked and I hunted for her naked, mostly with an erection ready to go as I knew what I would be invited to do as soon as I found her. Once was kind of special. In the bathroom I easily spotted a pair of knees right at the edge of the tub, calves and toes pointed out towards me, thighs disappearing up under the shower curtain. "Oh my, oh my," I said. "That is so alluring. Oh, I hope I can... just like that..." I got down on my knees behind her, lifted the curtain as it made a crinkly sound, exposing her cute little rear end. I spread the lips, placed my tip right at her opening, and surged inside. Five deep thrusts and I came, gasping and sighing. "That was amazing!" I groaned. As she emerged from behind the shower curtain, she said, "What's 'alluring' mean?" "Very attractive. Appealing. Sexy." "What you make me do just to learn more vocabulary." She gave a mock sigh. Another time I came in to find her half under the bed. She was on her back, with her bottom half naked on the carpet. She was making fake snoring sounds. "Oh, dear. That certainly is an alluring, tantalizing little pussy. Maybe I can make a little visit and do my business and she won't wake up. She won't even know anything happened." She had stopped her fake snoring but began again just as soon as I stopped talking. I spread her legs gently, spread her lips even more gently, and eased my cock in. There was no way I could even pretend that sliding my meat into her pussy was gentle. But I only went in an inch, moved back and forth just a little, slowly, and after a minute gasped and spurted, then pulled out. "There... she never even noticed!" I said. "Hehehe." She still lay there, fake snoring, so I tiptoed out, got dressed, and sat on the sofa, pretending to read a magazine. "Hey!" she said, a minute later, emerging naked. She stuck a finger up inside herself and came out with some sexy goo that she stuck under my nose. It smelled like sperm. "Someone put some sperm in my vagina while I was sleeping. Do you have any idea who that might have been?" "Uh, no. Sorry. I haven't seen anyone," I said, all innocence. She made a face and smeared her finger on my cheek, dug in for another bit and smeared that on my other cheek. She got dressed and snuggled against me. --------------------------------------------------------- We had our first fight. I'd bought her a few pony riding lessons. She wanted her own pony. I said it was too much responsibility. But she really wanted it. I didn't claim I couldn't afford it, because I could. But I was afraid she'd lose interest. When I grew up, nine-year-old girls never had ponies. But she wanted her own pony! She got so mad at me she went back to her apartment for the afternoon. When she came back the next day she said, "I don't feel like doing sex today." "I didn't think you would! Don't worry about it. Maybe we should never do it again." She sat silently at the table drawing. First she drew unflattering pictures of me, like as a devil with horns and an evil smile. Later she just drew. When I sat on the sofa to look at a magazine, she hesitated several times but then she came and sat beside me, and finally leaned her head against my shoulder. I didn't give in and get her a pony, and eventually she got over her disappointment. I did pay for a few more pony-riding lessons, but she did grow tired of it. But it was just a week after the fight that she said, "You said maybe we should never do sex again." "That's right. If you felt you needed to apologize for not doing it... that means you felt it was an obligation, and that's no good." After a pause, she said, "But you'd still like it?" "Maybe it's time to stop worrying about what I'd like." After another pause, she said, "You'd still like it more than anything." I gulped and said nothing. She broke into a big smile. "Course, you would... Let's go! I miss seeing you happy." She grabbed me by the hand and tugged me into the bedroom. I was eager to get into her little pussy and deliver. I guess I'm an animal. A week of celibacy and the prospect that maybe she'd never offer herself to me again made it all the sweeter when she did. She warmed herself up briefly with the vibrator, then turned it off and lay on her back and invited me to mount her. I slid my cock in easily. A little bit of me was prepared for her to tell me to promise her a pony as the price of letting me finish. I had to be ready to pull out. But she didn't. She never used sex as a weapon. I groaned, I pulsed a big load of sperm into her little vagina, I felt the ecstasy of consummation, and I was happy. "Nice piece of chocolate cake?" "Two cakes." "I love feeding you cake. It's so easy." ============================================================ Chapter 5 From Alison's father's hints to me from time to time, it became clear her mother wasn't going to come back. She was in prison for a long time. Then Alison's father got a girlfriend. Alison didn't like her. That didn't change things too much at first, but then she moved in, and told Alison she'd be her new mother. So she wouldn't have to spend time with the guy next door, she'd have a woman's touch the way a girl should. She still got to spend an hour at my place if she wanted. Alison was angry when she was with me about how much she had to do with her father's girlfriend, and I told her to make the best of it -- we'd had our good times and loved each other and nothing would ever take that away. Mostly we spent the hour talking -- or mostly her talking and me listening. But the third day, she led me back into the bedroom because she wanted to see me get happy again, and I did -- it was part of our precious hour together, and it took just over ten minutes. I said we'd need a new routine now. We couldn't afford to have sperm leaking out onto her panties, with a woman who might look at the laundry and notice. So she used her finger to fish my goop out of her, then I finished off with my longer finger. She realized she might just as well skip using hers and let me use mine, and she knew I loved doing it. We also washed her up thoroughly between the legs. After a month I started hearing fights in the evening again. Alison hated it, but she confirmed that no one was hitting her. A few weeks later the girlfriend left, and we went back to our old ways. She invited me to poke her pussy and squirt every day or two. She admitted I kept my word and once she let me do that I didn't ask to do anything else. Some guys might have begged for oral or anal, but not me. I had my little girl's pussy, and that's all I ever wanted -- though I wanted it over and over and over again. She was a kind, giving little girl. She wanted me to be happy. And when she found out how I really most wanted to be happy, she wanted to do that for me -- over and over and over again. --------------------------------------------------------- When she turned ten, I could see her nipples changing, and the finest hint of hair down below. When she brought it up, I said it was perfectly normal, and her body was doing just what a girl's body should do. Sometimes she wanted the vibrator the whole time so she could feel good when I did. Other times she just wanted to see my face when I got super-happy. I started noticing a bit of ambivalence during sex. A troubled look started showing through from time to time, between her happy smiles. I mentioned it. She denied anything was wrong. It was tempting to pretend nothing was wrong, but I mentioned it again. She denied it again. "Alison, sex is a special thing. When you get to be a big girl, your feelings start changing about it." "But that means I should want to get your penis poking in me more, not less, right?" "Ah. But the other thing that changing is you start caring a lot whose penis is poking into you. You think about boys you like, maybe. And the kind old man next door just won't do it. We shouldn't do it any more." We explored the subject more. She confided there was a boy at school... "Three more times," she said. "That way you can get used to not getting to do it any more." Maybe I should have argued with her about that, but I didn't. She was such a loving, considerate girl! The troubled expression went away during those last three times, and I savored them, trying to memorize every moment, every sensation, every glance. My last load was delivered deep in her vagina, ecstasy tinged with sadness. I kept my cock in as long as it would stay, but then it was time to withdraw. "You can still eat chocolate cake alone in your bedroom and think of me," she said. "Maybe I could, but I'll never mention it to you again." She considered. "Yeah, maybe that's better. And... I want the vibrator." She smiled and so did I. "Of course, it's yours now. For keeps." --------------------------------------------------------- She started doing things more with friends, though she always went to their house and never invited them over to hers. She had less need for a loving father figure. She was naturally trying out her independence more and more. She was too big for snuggling, but we sat at opposite ends of the sofa. It had been nearly a year. I brought up a delicate subject. "You remember what we used to do?" "Huh?" she said, all innocence. "Like reading me stories? Make-believe with animals? Stuff like that?" I nodded. "Yes, all that, but, um..." She smiled. "Course I remember." "I told you way back when that if you told anyone about it then you could never spend time with me again. Now you probably could do just fine without ever spending time with me again. You don't need a friendly man next door. You know how everyone would hate what we did... You can tell if you want, you know. I have no right to stop you." "It would be so embarrassing, they would ask me questions and tell me how horrible you were." "Well, if you decide I'm horrible, then you should be able to tell people that. You shouldn't have to keep any secrets." "You told me everything exactly right. I knew just what I was doing, and I chose to do it, and I'm glad I did. Not that I want to do it any more..." "Of course not..." "And I realized, if you don't like women... at some point you wouldn't want to do it with me any more, right? As I look more like a woman?" "You're right," I said with a smile. "It's come to a natural end for both of us." She was actually still terribly sexy for me, but she had the principle right. "Oh, good... but that still leaves you alone and sad," she said. Still such a caring girl! "Well, that's just my lot in life. I was delighted to be the friendly grown-up next door, and that would have been plenty. The fact that you really, truly wanted to make me happy -- that was a miracle while it lasted. And it's a miracle just to remember it." "Yeah, it was nice," she said. "And I knew I never had to do it at all, and I could stop any time." "Good." "But I also knew my body had the power to make you really happy, and that was nice." "Good." After a brief pause, she said, "That's still so funny, I was hiding in the closet, and I thought you called my name out because you knew I was there!" I smiled. "Yeah." There was a silence. I said, "I know you say you don't mind what we did. But if later, you changed your mind... If you started feeling I'd mistreated you. Maybe it's selfish of me, but, I don't know.. it would be nice to know where I stand. What if you do start to hate me?" "Why wouldn't I tell on you, let me count the ways," she said. "You're a good man. I'd never want you to suffer. I violated your privacy and that's the only reason I found out about your unusual attraction. You told me exactly what was going on. You discouraged me. You never once initiated anything. I knew I could stop any time. When it started bothering me, you're the one who saw it before I did and we stopped. What kind of girl would tell on a man like that?" I hesitated. "One who thinks pedophiles are evil." "They will never convince me of that. Never. Your secret is safe with me." --------------------------------------------------------- In her freshman year in high school, Alison's father got a job a thousand miles away, and they moved. We talked on the phone. She got a new stepmother for real. I helped her get used to the situation and find a new sort of peace with her. When she got to college she called less. She answered every letter I sent promptly. But I found myself writing less. She had her life. I had my own life -- a pedophile's lonely life, with memories of a golden age that few pedophiles have ever known. I decided not to go to her wedding, but I sent her a gift. The night before she got married, she wrote, "I want you to know that every good thing I am today I owe to you. You saved me when my parents let me down. I'll be forever grateful. That other stuff -- that was fine too, I've never felt a moment's regret. I'm proud of what I could do for you." Now we exchange Christmas cards once a year. ============================================================ Repeat of author's note: Adult-child sexual activity in real life is always wrong. Don't do it. What did you think? I'm always eager for comments, whether positive, negative or mixed. Comments to sterling27@live.com.