Author: Sterling Title: Making a Troubled University Vibrant Again Summary: A financially struggling university hires a new president with a plan. An ongoing psychology experiment tests the reaction of young men to sexual intercourse, it is very popular and it results in increased enrollment. Keywords: MF humor school NOTICE: This story contains explicit sex. First posted 9/22/2018. I'm always eager for comments, whether good, bad or mixed. Comments to sterling27@live.com. I have written many other stories and they can all be found at /files/Authors/Sterling/ For an index see /files/Authors/Sterling/A%20%20SUBJECT%20INDE X.txt There is a more user-friendly web version of most of my stories from before 2016 here: /files/Authors/Sterlin g/www/ Sterling ============================================================ Making a Troubled University Vibrant Again June 14, 2023 From: The Board of Trustees of Global World University To: The Global World University community As you know, our financial situation has been unsatisfactory for several years now. We are pleased to announce that we have hired as our new president Dr. James Smith. His wife Dr. Marian Smith will also become a research professor in the Psychology Department for no compensation, for as long as Dr. James Smith is President. --------------------------------------------------------- September 8, 2023 From: The Research Ethics Board, Global World University To: Dr. Marian Smith, Psychology Department, Global World University Your research proposal is somewhat unusual and raises issues we do not usually have to consider, but we are delighted to inform you that we have approved your research proposal and you may proceed with your research study. As you note, the research costs are to be borne by a special grant from the Global World University Development Fund. --------------------------------------------------------- September 12, 2023 From: Dr. Marian Smith, Psychology Department To: Global World University Students Seeking experimental subjects: In this study we seek to investigate the sexual response of the human male. To participate you must be enrolled as an undergraduate at Global World University and willing to engage in sexual intercourse with an adult female. You must be 18 years of age and pass an STI screening. Each sign-up form is for a particular adult female whose pictures appear with the form. You will receive $10 for participating. If you complete the task, you will receive an additional $10. The task involves mounting the woman, penetrating her vagina with your penis, and copulating. Completion of the task requires ejaculation inside the vagina and must occur within five minutes of insertion. --------------------------------------------------------- December 29, 2023 Help wanted: Additional female research assistants The position requires making yourself available as a sexual partner for undergraduate males (see attached recruitment notice). During working hours, you should be available for a new subject every fifteen minutes. Your participation can be passive; all that is required is a pleasant demeanor. It is completely legal, and you always have a panic button summoning help to interrupt any abusive behavior within ten seconds. The compensation for full-time work for 40 weeks a year is $700,000. --------------------------------------------------------- June 11, 2026 Sexual Response in Undergraduate Males Dr. Marian Smith, Global World University Abstract: This is an interim report on an ongoing study of the human male sexual response. Male participants were recruited to have sexual intercourse with female confederates. Over the course of two years, 3,044 distinct men participated at least once. Men could and often did sign up for more than one session. Men participated in a total of 103,993 experimental sessions. Number of sign-ups per female confederate was strongly positively with how attractive she was rated by a panel of independent judges. Initial volunteer interest exceeded available slots. Since studies are more reliable with more subjects, additional female confederates were enlisted to ensure that no subjects who wished to volunteer were turned away. Generous compensation allowed the recruitment of female confederates rated as highly attractive by subjects and an independent panel. Overall, of copulations attempted, 94% were successful to the point of intra-vaginal ejaculation within five minutes. (The vagina was always sufficiently lubricated before each session began.) The two primary dependent variables were an overall life well-being index (WBI), as measured by responses to a questionnaire of 20 items, and the subjective rating by the male of the extent to which the session itself was experienced as positive or negative, single session satisfaction (SSS). In the pilot studies subjects were paid for their participation, but recruitment was successful without payment so this was dropped. It appears that sexual intercourse is an inherently rewarding activity for male undergraduates, though we cannot rule out an altruistic desire to advance scientific knowledge. Female confederates were always able to summon help in case of behavior they judged abusive. Only fifteen (15) such incidents occurred, less than 1 in 10,000 sessions, none resulting in serious injury. Under such experimental conditions, male sexual violence is extremely low. A number of more detailed hypotheses were tested by different experimental conditions. In decreasing order of effect sizes: SSS was higher if the man completed the task than if he did not. SSS was lower when a condom was required than when it was not. (Condom use was mandated in just two percent of the total experimental sessions. When allowed to choose, just three percent of males chose to use a condom). WBI was higher for participants than control groups of Global World University males who chose not to participate in the study, students at other universities, and those of college age who are not students. Doggy-style intercourse was associated with higher SSS than missionary-position. In some conditions female confederates were instructed to appear to be enjoying the experience a great deal, a modest amount, or to have no emotional reaction. SSS was higher for conditions where the confederate appeared to enjoy the experience more. This effect was more pronounced for missionary-position intercourse than doggy-style intercourse. In some conditions the female confederate squeezed an unobtrusive pressure sensor once to mark initial penile insertion and again when she judged ejaculation commenced, allowing an estimate of the duration of the experience. We hypothesized that satisfaction would be highest for an intermediate duration of intercourse, and this was confirmed. Men who ejaculated within 15 seconds and those who ejaculated with less than 15 seconds left before the five-minute limit was reached rated it as less satisfactory than those with intermediate intercourse durations. Peak mean SSS was for copulations of 1 minutes and 24 seconds. In one condition, males upon arrival were told that if they were able to initiate ejaculation within 15 seconds they could earn $10, $50, or $250, depending on the condition. More subjects earned this reward the higher the payoff. The difference in SSS between those who did earn the reward and those who did not was highest for the maximum payoff and lowest for the minimum. All results are statistically significant at the 10^(-100) level (for comparison, the standard .01 significance level written in this notation is 10^(-2).) Research into human sexuality has lagged in recent years, and we are proud to be part of reversing this trend. We plan to continue the experiment indefinitely into the future so we can gather more data and test more hypotheses about human male sexual response. --------------------------------------------------------- August 3, 2026 To: The Board of Trustees of Global World University From: Dr. James Smith, President I am delighted to report on the robust financial situation of the University at the end of the third year of my presidency. Enrollment is up over 100% compared to three years ago. Whereas in the past only 10% of our student body paid full tuition and received no financial aid, now 60% of the student body pays full tuition, even though this has increased from $45,000 to $60,000 per year. While most colleges have difficulty recruiting male students, our last two classes have been 90% male and 10% female. Surveys show that the biggest factor given by students choosing Global World University are the positive reports on quality of campus life by other students. Many students are choosing not to complete their degree in the customary four years, but are staying for the maximum of six years, and thus often able to meet the requirements for two, three, or even four different majors. Due to our improved situation, trustees will now be reimbursed $400,000 per year for their service on the Board compared to the previous figure of $2,000. I have proposed to increase my own salary from $1.5 million to $15 million based on these positive results and engage Dr. Marian Smith for half that amount. Faculty salaries will increase by an average of approximately 20%. We are also able to divert excess income to increase the University's endowment. I look forward to being your president for many years to come. ============================================================ What did you think? I'm always eager for comments, whether positive, negative or mixed. Comments to sterling27@live.com.