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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by blatant sexual stories, are under 18, or have a heart condition, don’t read this. If it is illegal in your state to possess this literature, then don’t possess. All within is pure fiction - I guess.

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When I woke up, Buck was coming to get me. It took me a moment to understand that I had fallen asleep on the bed. I smelled pizza on his clothes and picked right up on it. I was starving and asked if I was going to get any. I got a great response and followed him out to the kitchen. Buck sat at the table and I understood he expected to be served his.

I got Buck two slices and brought them to him with a cold beer. I asked if I may have some even though it had already been implied. Buck nodded his head and I went to get a slice for myself. I turned around and saw Buck staring at me. There was something about his eyes that spoke to me. I looked at the triangular slice on my plate and knew what I had to do. I set it back down and sliced it into a couple dozen smaller pieces. I gave a little sneer of my own towards Buck, and then bent under the table to throw the pizza bits into my dog dish.

He was thrilled with my actions and had to be glad to see that I was taking to it so well. The dog routine was going to wear thin very quickly. Just having to take a piss was killing my knees. Buck watching and telling me to first lift my leg like a male, and then squat to imitate a female, was of no help.

While I ate my food under the table, I was thinking about how to tell Buck I wanted him to fuck my ass again. And then I felt new movement. Every time I bent over to take a bit of food I could feel my buds were just big enough to garner a wiggle from them. I remembered what Buck had said about ‘once they got started that they grew over night’. I couldn’t wait to have my own to feel and experiment with, and I knew knowing them from a girl’s view would make me a better lover. It dawned on me that if I stayed on my present track, I could very well never get the chance to put any new found knowledge to use.

When I finished my pizza, I went over to nuzzle Buck’s hand to tell him I needed to go ‘out’. It was so demeaning and embarrassing. I had decided that squatting was less messy and only managed to get ten feet away from Buck to do it. His grin was really starting to bother me at times. But then, there were times that it had kept me going, as well. Buck began picking on me relentlessly, but instead of getting mad, I decided to show him the heat that had been welling up in me all day. When I was allowed to stand to enter the house, I backed my ass into Buck’s front side and rubbed myself against him. I couldn’t believe I was throwing myself at another man. I chalked it up to my new scapegoat; the pills. I placed Buck’s hands on each side of my prick to get him to molest my crotch the way he seemed to like. He took to it immediately, but only for a brief minute.

He took me inside and sat on the couch. I was beginning to understand how to show a pleasing subservient side, and sat next to his feet. I waited for him to tell me what he wanted to do, but his words never carried anything to please my immediate need. Just the opposite really. He decided to torment me over a topic he had seen bothered me greatly; my castration. I immediately told him I would want to leave if that was a requirement. He pointed out to me that I had known for a few days and hadn’t left. He reminded me of how wet he had been finding me earlier just talking about it.

Buck started questioning my fascination over the operation and after telling him all the fears any man would have, he let me know that there were two kinds of castration that they used on the trannys. One was the entire removal of both the testicles and the scrotum. This was the method that most all the prior trannys had agreed to, and was the preferred trophy for a reason. He explained to me that the trainee would sit down in a chair and within a few minutes would see his own balls cut off and held in front of his face. He told me that footage of that happening was the prime cut of his porn efforts. I realized that the horror on a guy’s face at seeing his balls in a jar in front of his own face had to be beyond mental acceptance. I shook my head in disbelief and asked him again why any man would allow that to happen to him. Buck’s answer was to feel the tip of my cock and when I felt how slippery his fingers were, I knew I had leaked rather heavily. Still, there was no way a guy could get horny enough to say “cut them off”. The smile I got in response was unnerving.

The second method was cutting the testes out of the scrotum and leaving that behind. Buck told me that for the most part that the skin would tighten up and would be unrecognizable. He pointed out that Mary had received this type and I remembered how she had seemed almost born without testicles. I hadn’t even seen a scar.

I asked my owner why a guy would opt for that method and began trembling over the answer. That type of castration was only done to trainees that intended to have the final operation. The scrotum would then be needed to form a cunt hole for men to fuck. He described it as little more than making a pocket to fit cocks.

Buck got up, went into the bedroom, and came back with a disk. He threw it into the player and then grabbed me off the floor to sit under his arm. I knew what he was going to show me and wondered why it was on a separate disk.

A push on the remote started the CD and I first saw a dingy looking room with one chair that looked heavy and all wood. It looked like an electric chair, complete with cuffs. I heard a bunch of voices growing closer to the camera lens. Soon, an obvious owner was escorting a young guy into the room nude and close to the chair. He was feeling the guy’s balls with a major effort and talking softly to his charge. The only thing I could make out was when the owner thanked his trainee for giving him his balls and that he would take great pleasure in selling them to a collector. The trainee wasn’t trying to get away, but I could still tell he was nervous as hell.

Knowing that I was watching an actual castration about to take place, I hadn’t even noticed the boobs that this guy had grown. They were much smaller than all the man-made tits I had seen so far. I nudged Buck to point that out to him and as well, how loyal the trainee was being. I watched as the owner was telling his very nervous property that everything was going to be okay and that he was going to win his respect for the offering he was giving him. I got very nervous and grabbed Buck’s crotch for some reason. We looked at each other and I asked him if he really believed he would ever get me to agree to what was happening on the screen. I continued rubbing him hard through his pants and I knew I was showing a heightened sexual arousal, but I couldn’t stop myself.

Buck smiled with that stupid fucking knowing smile again. A smile I was continually seeing as being correct in its smugness, and that scared me. He said, “Oh, you’ll do it for me. I already know how much you want to give me those little fuckers.” He made a grab for my balls and began begging me to hand them over to him. He was mocking my fears, but it was such an odd feeling I had as I tried to push his hands away from me. His begging was weakening my resolve and all my fear at that moment was over whether or not I was strong enough to hang onto my manhood. I think what scared me the most was that there was something way deep inside of me that did want to give the man I was falling for, a trophy to tell him he got me. I had to fight that sick notion with all my strength.

The trainee on the tape was getting strapped into the chair. His waist was held tightly in place with a wide leather belt of sorts and his ankles were secured in cuffs. I saw the wrist cuffs and waited to see if the boy was going to take this last chance to fight. But without any warning, everyone that had helped to strap him in backed out of the picture. I heard someone yell out, “One last time, kid” and I watched as the hands of the captive boy dropped to masturbate himself.

I watched the prisoner willingly exercise his cock and it would have been hard not to notice that his other hand was feeling his balls like crazy. This was his send off to them and then his owner did what I considered to be tantamount to cruel. He sat a wide mouth glass on the arm of the chair and it was clear that it was the glass that his balls would be placed in after his mutilation. I expected that action to stop the kid and see him plead for mercy, but instead, he looked at the glass so intensely as he wailed away at himself. When I realized what was driving him in such an unhealthy path, I cringed at my own answer. He had been so successfully trained by his owner that he really looked at handing his manhood over to him as presenting him with his greatest trophy. My eyes flew to Buck and I wondered if he was that good at training himself. I suddenly felt like I was being prepared for my own day at the hands of a doctor.

When the trainee started to cum, he caught the first spurt and wiped it into his mouth. You could hear the men in the room cheer at his actions and the rest of his cum was spurted through the air. I watched the kid feeling his balls tenderly, lean his head back, and close his eyes. Two men came into the scene and cuffed his wrists tightly to the chairs’ arms. The trainee lifted his head and opened his eyes wide. Buck explained that the man in a white coat coming into the scene was a certified doctor and a distant member of the club. He rolled a stainless steel tray on wheels next to the victim’s legs.

The owner came over and almost seemed to taunt his property with the glass and how it would soon be filled. The doctor grabbed the glass and poured some kind of a liquid into it and handed it back to the owner. He went back to tormenting his trainee with it and reached between his legs to chastise his need for them anyway. When the doctor took a seat in front of the kid and told the owner he was ready, everyone else backed away. Both cameras that were recording this event for the next big video sale, began repositioning themselves. A third camera suddenly snapped on and it showed only the face of the guy.

Evidently, the last thing a trainee has to do is make a short speech about how this was all his idea and that he not only wanted to be castrated, but that he wanted his owner to receive them as a reward for training him so well. I again darted my eyes to Buck and wondered how severe his hold over me might become.

After the statement, the doctor swabbed iodine all around the guys balls at their base. I watched him put some sort of a clamp that looked like a small cage around the base of his balls. He tugged on the mans’ balls to push the clamp all the way back, and then fastened it in place. He brought forward a small metal piece that was part of the clamp and then one from underneath the clamp. I realized these were cutting guides.

The trainee was watching everything the doctor was doing. I watched three shots of what had to be painkillers or local anesthetic being shot into the pelvic area of the man. The doctor seemed to be giving the shots a moment to work and then without any fanfare, he produced a scalpel and ran it along the metal guides. My mouth dropped wide open and I gasped as much as if it were my balls falling into the doctors fingers. I saw the scrotum simply fall away as the sharp scalpel severed them completely. A snapshot showed the disbelief in the trainees eyes as he watched the doctor reach for the glass and dropped his scrotum and testicles into it. His owner came over and held the glass in front of his face and you could see that the guy was about to pass out. His mind couldn’t seem to grasp what had been done to him. The owner was so belligerent and crude as he held the glass up and praised his ability to get another trophy from yet another well trained boy. Everything he said seemed so derogatory to the person that had just provided him with his basic right of manhood.

I felt Buck grab me by the base of my balls and began tugging me around by them. I was so close to crying and begged him never to try to get me to do that for him. He tried in a very perverse way to placate me, but telling me that he could wait for me to change my mind and that he would be sure to get top dollar for them only hastened my fears. He could see I was going to lose it and began telling me that that scene was still far down the road and that I had more immediate problems to think about.

I decided to try to get Buck so close to me that he would never ask me to castrate myself just so he could claim my manhood as his trophy. I told him straight out that I wanted him to fuck me again. He seemed a little shocked, but told me he didn’t think that was wise. That was the time he picked to tell me that I had a new job to perform the next day. He referred to it as the Asian Occasion.

It seemed that the Asian Occasion was a numbered session, meaning that there were many sequentially numbered videos of the same kind of sex act. The only difference would be the players. It seemed that one of the best porn clients was the entire nation of Japan. So, in order to meld the groups profit with their clients lusts, they tailored this special little event with them in mind. I asked Buck if he had one of the videos to show me, but he never answered. That was his way of saying no when he didn’t think I deserved an answer.

He went on to tell me some of the details and they were challenging to say the least. I was not at all sure I wanted to try this, but when Buck told me it was what he wanted of me, I agreed. I should have waited for the rest of the details first. It seemed that the premise was that three or four well dressed Asian men would get a girl to have sex with them. In several of the tapes of this genre, the men would not know they were with a tranny until they stripped him. I wondered just how they would take that surprise. That was outright cock teasing to me. But the part that Buck hid from me until last was the drugging.

It seems that an inordinate amount of perverted men live in Japan. They had a name for it which Buck couldn’t remember, but essentially, they drugged a girl that had already agreed to have sex with several men. They would wait until she was passed out before stripping her and using her anyway they pleased. Knowing that I wouldn’t feel any pain sounded good to me, and so did the idea that all my muscles would be relaxed. But I saw a lot of danger in getting choked, and that was before I realized that I could get my ass raped as well. It came to me why Buck had said fucking me tonight might not be a wise thing to do. He knew these guys would want at me.

The thought of men manipulating me to suffice their needs had a side of heat to it, but it seemed so risky to me and a risk that could get me killed. After hearing my reservations, Buck knew just what to say to con me into my next phase of learning. First he told me that every Asian man he had seen was extremely small compared to what I had been seeing so far. Secondly, he told me that he would be there doing the filming and watching over me.

Buck had just taken away my two best arguments, so I decided to bargain for something. I really hated the canine treatment and squatting outside naked to take a piss. I told him I wouldn’t give him any trouble if he would let me skip the rest of the obedience training. He grabbed his chin in thought and decided it was a deal that was workable. He mentioned how I had been very obedient so far and that I deserved something to appease me. The only catch was a curious one until I realized why he had made it. I had to continue wearing the chain attached to my dog collar. At first I thought it was a way to remind me of the treatment I was going to skip, but then I realized Buck knew about my dependence on being tethered. It was such a strange quirk that Buck was really being nice to me for caring about my mental state. Here he was a master of humility, yet he showed me so well how much he would care for me.

That day ended with me falling asleep next to Buck, wearing my chain and collar, and dreaming what it would feel like passing out amidst men I knew would be fouling me.

I awoke the next morning with chest pain. When I rubbed the areas that hurt, I saw that it was my burgeoning buds that hurt so much. I was lying on my back and looked down my chest. I saw my nipples swelled about an inch into the air and a tingling ran through my groin at the sight of them. I was seeing a real change in my sex and right in front of my own eyes. I felt the nubs and they seemed attached to my crotch. A jolt of electricity ran through me. I took a look at Buck and saw he was still sound asleep.

I needed relief so bad right then that I started feeling my chest, beside my balls, and fingering my prick. Seeing my chest developing into a girls was entirely overwhelming and I needed to cum. I worked my cock into a half hard state, the best it seemed to be doing lately, and tried to force a climax out of myself. There was no problem getting aroused or to feel the heat of an active sex drive, but cumming to fulfill my need to get off was getting harder to achieve.

My puffy little cones were enough to get me going, but to get aroused enough to force myself to cum took even more effort. I grabbed at my balls and remembered the kid on the tape giving up his to his owner. I grew repulsed with my thoughts and that my cock was growing harder over them. But I needed relief so badly that I explored my feelings and imagined what that kid must have felt as he saw his scrotum cleanly cut away from his body.

I was so close to cumming when I felt the bed shake. I looked over in horror to see Buck’s head resting on his hand, watching me. I paused for a very short moment and when I knew I needed to finish, I closed my eyes and went back to work on myself. I let my left hand go to find Buck’s cock to play with, but he placed my hand back to my balls. I had never really masturbated in front of anyone before, other than as that group thing yesterday. It was so different here with just the two of us. Buck was getting off on watching me struggle to cum and I decided that he probably knew how much harder it was getting for me to cum. But what he did next to me was just not right. He used my most personal self against me and forced my mouth to betray my most private of thoughts.

Buck asked me, “Thinking about that kid, aren’t you? Thinking what it would be like to be in his seat, huh?”

I cringed over how well he had read my thoughts and I wanted to tell him he was wrong, but since he was never going to get the trophy everyone in the club seemed to cherish so much, I decided to at least give him the truth. I nodded almost imperceptibly for him to indicate he was right. I guess coming honest with him sent my mind over the edge and I started leaking out a massively powerful cum. It seemed like boiling oil when it hit my belly. I looked back at Buck while I jerked to completion. He was just so damn smug. As sure as I was that he wasn’t going to get my balls to gloat over, he was just as sure that he would. I told him my point of mind in a two word sentence.

“You bastard!”

He laughed at my words and realized they were a sign in his favor. I realized the same thing and got up in a flustered tizzy to wipe off. I heard him yell to me in the bathroom that I was in for a really big day. I stopped and wondered if there was a message hidden in that statement. The Asian Occasion thing was coming to me and I wondered what had made me agree to allow myself to get drugged and used at will. If it weren’t for the fact that I was assured all the men were less than well endowed and that Buck would be there every moment to watch over me, I’d probably be slicing my wrists right now.

I thought about Buck for a minute and how through all his demands and requests of me, he was living up to protecting and caring for me just as he had promised he would. I knew today was the real test of that. Would he really protect me after I was under the spell of whatever drug I would be fed? It was comforting to know that I was told I would definitely get to watch the video when we got home. At least I would get to see how well he really was taking care of me.

The thing that was really doing a lot of damage to me mentally was that I was told Buck would be taking me to a hotel room for the event. I had to worry about getting caught, noise that might summon the hotel security, and with the mind boggling fear that I could in no way pass for a girl yet, but I was going to have to wear girl’s clothing. The thought of walking through lobbies and hallways to the stares of others was destroying my self-esteem. Yet, here I was wondering which top to wear with the only skirt I had so far.

I was truly losing my identity. Billy was someone I use to look at in a mirror that always seemed to doubt himself. He was always busy fighting so hard to keep his machismo in full display so that no one would ever know that he had a deep, dark secret. He had even been too afraid to even think about things that only came to him while he jerked himself off. Sidney was becoming a much more powerful influence over my decisions and I thought about how few people would miss someone so insignificant as Billy. As Sidney, in any state of transference, I was eliciting men’s desires to be with me. I loved the way a human sex toy was sought after as a prize of sorts and how it brought me into the realm of being needed and wanted. I was so close to some of these men that I had allowed them to play with the very air that I breathe so that they could use me to their advantage. Yeah, it had more to do with my body parts than as a person, but even bad attention is better than none. The one thing I could truly say about my new situation was that I was no longer as lonely as Billy had always felt.

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