Solomon – Losing My Balls
by Solomon
Chapter 5
* * * *
Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by blatant sexual
stories, are under 18, or have a heart condition, don’t read this. If it is illegal
in your state to possess this literature, then don’t possess. All within is
pure fiction - I guess.
* * * *
Lisa was
still hopping mad after finding the letter that had outlined what she had been
doing to me that was meant for my parents. It was my escape letter and one part
of my plan to end everything that was being done to me. I watched my wife
pacing back and forth in front of me, waving the letter and berating my
attempts to leave her ‘after all she had done for me’. I tried telling her that
I had ended my desire to leave, but she wasn’t about to believe me. At least
that was what I had thought. After nearly twenty minutes of dressing me down, I
saw a sudden turn in her demeanor. At first she looked into thin air, then at
the letter, and then she smiled. I mistook her smile when she began asking me
if I had really decided not to run off in a much softer tone of voice. I really
should have known her better by now.
Over the
next hour she warmed up to me and seemed to gloat measurably over winning my
soul. She even told me that because of me finally accepting my new role, she
asked me to skip out to the store and buy two bottles of her favorite
champagne. I hadn’t seen her being so nice, nor trusting of me, in a very long
time, so I did as she requested after hearing that I had won her over in my own
way. My mind was trying to make sense of her sudden change of temper as I drove
to the store and back. Could things between us actually work out as long as I
accepted her training as her version of the perfect husband?
I had my old
wife back, nearly, as we drank both bottles of the bubbly and laughed over what
we both considered the outstanding points of what we had both gone through. I
had taken the brunt of things, but she pointed out that she had to get use to
wearing the pants that she had always considered belonged on a man. She even
complimented all men on how they found the strength to provide for women and
their children as a thankless task rarely bitched about. That led me to ask a
question I had long wanted to know the answer. How was she making the money to
keep the bills paid?
She bit her
lower lip and finally got up, went to her computer, and typed in the password.
By the time I came up behind her, she had opened a video for me to watch. I could
hardly stand and sat in the chair to watch just how she had been making the
money. Before starting the video, she filled me in on some details to explain
what I was going to see. Apparently she had found a market to buy some
‘perverse’ videos, and yes, I as the star. She promised me that they were only
sold in places far away, but that did little to comfort me even in my drunken
state. And then she turned to me and asked, “Haven’t you noticed anything…
unusual going on?”
I had no certain idea what she was talking
about, and finally she worked her hand under my t-shirt and groped my chest. I
pulled back and told her that that area was getting a little tender. I had put
it up to not working as physically as normal for several weeks and losing
muscle mass. I was about to find out the true reason. She was grinning
ear-to-ear as she flicked the mouse to start the movie.
It turned
out to be a teaser trailer type movie, but it filled in a lot of gaps. Frank
was coming through the door and I wondered for a moment why he would be coming
by so late, but my mind was transfixed on what I was seeing play out before me
on the monitor. It started with a picture of me straight on that had been taken
a year earlier at the beach. I was in my swim trunks and I wondered what that
had to do with anything. The next minute or so was text telling the story of
how me, Dan, would be turning into Danielle over the course of several months,
and what the eventual outcome of my life would become. Lisa’s hand came around
to my mouth and she had two pills for me to take. I told her I had already
taken the pills twice for the day, but she insisted and I washed them down with
the last of my champagne. As I sat the glass down, her hand ran up under my
shirt again. She was toying with my nipples, but it hurt a little and was
annoying to say the least. When I tried to pull her hand away, her other hand
came up the other side of my shirt and she groped my chest as a man would a
woman. She demanded that I pay attention to her movie.
I held my
hands over hers as I finished reading the text intro, and several times I
turned around to look at the grin on her face. I was just beginning to think
that everything she had been doing to me was just enough to sell her fantasy
film, but then came up a scene of me taking some of the same pills I had just
swallowed. In the background I heard Lisa telling the viewers how she had
started feeding me female hormones to help bring out my effeminate side.
Suddenly I understood the tenderness of my chest – one of the side effects of
taking the hormones. I looked down and realized what I had seen as my body
turning into flab from lack of working was actually the beginning of me growing
boobs. Lisa finally turned her soft manipulation into outright groping of her desired
effect. I tried to stand up, but she told me there was more for me to see and
held me down.
I was sort
of stuck in my chair anyway due to the effects of six glasses of the bubbly,
and that was when I realized there should have only been four in each bottle.
She had tricked me into thinking that we had shared the wine equally. The next
part of the film was sort of a glimpse of many lewd interludes between me and
Frank, and even the doctor. You couldn’t tell who they were, but my face was
prevalent in each cut. It was the closing shots that really got to me. The
intro to those final shots was a short text that read, …AND DAN TURNS INTO
DANIELLE RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES. The next shot was a snippet of the one I had
seen before with me in the doctor’s office during her mock castration of me. My
jaw fell open and then I felt something happening to my right wrist. I looked
down and saw Lisa had placed a handcuff on me. In an instant, Frank was helping
her to bring both my arms behind my back as they fastened my wrists together.
Lisa told Frank to bring me into the bedroom and with very little effort I felt
myself being hoisted over his shoulder and carried away. After getting plopped
onto the bed, Lisa kissed me softly on the cheek and said, “Night, night sweetie.
The two pills I put into your drink will knock you out soon, so have a good
sleep your last night as a whole man.” So, on top of what I knew were now
female hormones, she had apparently drugged me with some other pills as well.
I couldn’t
move as I lay there trying to figure out what was going on. Before I knew it,
the sun was in my eyes and my wrists were aching from the cuffs. Neither Frank
nor Lisa was in sight and I struggled to put together everything that had gone
on the night before. I finally figured out why my wife had so suddenly calmed
down the night before after finding my letter proving a particular disloyalty
to her. I went to move my legs and found that I was now also tethered to the bed by one leg. For over a half hour
I worked to put everything together until Frank came in and forced me to take
two more pills, not my normal ones, but what I guessed had knocked me out last
night. Before I could ask Frank about anything, he was gone again. The sun was
setting before I finally began waking for a second time and Lisa was struggling
to remove my pants. I couldn’t speak yet, but when she saw my eyes open, she
made things a little clearer for me.
She went
over to her side table, retrieved yet two more pills, and demanded that I
swallow them. After doing as she demanded or face drowning in the water she was
pouring down my throat, she sat the glass down and got between my legs.
“There’s one thing I just have to do before the next step sweetheart. I know
I’ve never liked doing this to you before, but this is a very special
occasion.” With that she began sucking gently on my cock. I felt it growing
hard and then she began licking at my balls and chuckled aloud that she had
always known they had belonged to her.
When I
finally gained my voice, I began pleading with her to stop what she was doing
and swearing that I would do whatever she wanted of me. She just kept sucking
on me and even used her hand to help things along. She continuously fondled my
balls and even reached up to grab at what I now saw as the boobs she was trying
to force my body to grow for her. My pleading did nothing to deter her and
after a certain point, I rested my head back and had to enjoy the blowjob I was
getting. I knew I was very close to cumming and had ached for relief from any
other person for weeks now. It felt so fucking good, but by the time I realized
what she was actually doing, it was too late to stop her. I knew why after
years she was finally giving me a blowjob and thrashed my head side-to-side
trying to make sense of all this.
As my body
began jerking uncontrollably, I saw my wife’s eyes glow from her pleasure. Her
lips stayed latched to my cock as I felt my body ejaculating into her mouth.
Her moans sounded wonderful to me for the briefest moment, and then she pulled
her lips back slowly to make sure she got every drop from my softening cock.
She sat up, smiled at me, and walked on her knees to get closer to me. Slowly
she pressed her mouth to mine and forced my lips wide to accept my own cum. We
kissed for a moment and then as she pulled away, her hand covered my mouth so I
couldn’t spit it out, and made everything very clear for me.
“There you
go sweetie. That’s the last load of cum your balls will ever make. Remember how
yours was the first cum you ever tasted? Well, now you have the chance to taste
the last sperm these balls will ever get to make. Go ahead now… and swallow it
down. Enjoy the taste of it. I bet few men have ever gotten to taste their last
fun juice. Make me proud. I want to know you understand just how valuable
what’s in your mouth right now.”
I looked up
at her with pleading eyes, but her words echoed through my head a million
times. Finally, I knew in her sick mind that she was right; I knew this would
be the last chance I would have to do as she had said. I swished the broth
around my mouth, and then swallowed hard several times. She was beside herself
when she saw my throat making the motions and she took her hand away. I began
my pleading again until she shushed me with a finger to my lips, and then left
the room.
The light in
my eyes was blinding and I tried pulling my hands up to shield my eyes from it,
but they wouldn’t budge. As I looked around I saw that the man in front of me
was holding smelling salts. I shook my head trying to rid my nostrils of the
remaining scent and became aware quickly of where I was, however it wasn’t a
pleasant surprise. Instantly I recognized the room I was in and that I was tied
to the chair from a month earlier, with the same familiar doctor standing in
front of me. I began flailing around and demanding that they couldn’t do this
to me. Suddenly another piece of cloth was being forced into my mouth and again
duct tape wrapped around my head to hold it in place. I began begging the
doctor not to put me through this with my pleading eyes, but he wouldn’t look
me in the face. Once I stopped struggling against my bonds, Lisa came close to
my face and began telling me what was happening. First she held up a piece of
paper in front of my face.
“Remember
this sweetie? This is the medical release form you signed two months ago. I
know, I know, but it’s going to be all better in a few minutes. I guess after
finding that letter that you forgot your little warning here last time. So,
here we are once again trying to give you a refresher course. You remember the
kind doctor here. He’s going to get you ready now.”
Lisa stood
back and I was torn between seeing this as the real thing, or just another mock
castration as she had just implied. I shook my head desperately trying to get
them to stop, but it just made my wife laugh at my fruitless attempts to change
her mind. I couldn’t figure out if I was truly awake or stuck in some
nightmare, but either way I didn’t want to go through this again. The only
thing that made me feel any better about what was happening to me was when I
saw Lisa giving a quick wink to the doctor. I saw that as a gesture that this
was just another reenactment so I would stop trying to escape her clutches.
Everything
went nearly identical as the last time and soon the doctor was between my legs,
tilting my chair back slightly. I struggled to watch for any glimpse from him
that I was just being scared into behaving again, but whether it was or not, I
was shaking in fear. He took the squirt bottle and sprayed some antiseptic onto
gauze and began swabbing all around my scrotum. I was having trouble getting
enough air through my nose and that wasn’t helping me from growing faint from
the horror I was watching. In another moment, he was feeling my pelvic bone for
where he wanted to apply the first shot of anesthesia, and slowly inserted the
needle and squeezed the first dose into me. I was gasping for breath through my
nose as I watched him apply another dose to the other side of my scrotum. Then
I was sweating so much that the tape that had been holding my prick out of the
way fell off, and seeing a chance to help out, Lisa held it to one side. Two
more shots were administered under my testicles and then the doctor taped my
cock back to my stomach area.
Finally, the
doctor looked me in the eye and that made me worry greatly. It was a look of
apology, and that was a bad sign to me. He quickly turned away and grabbed for
some large cloth pads and worked them under my legs. I knew these as blood
catchers, and they hadn’t been used the last time. Now I was out of my mind
with fear. As he began placing the clamping mechanism around my balls, I stared
at the jar that was again sitting on the side table among the instruments. I
went back to watching as the doctor tightened down the thumb screws until he
was sure they were secure. My head fell forward as I began fainting.
Suddenly I
threw my head back as Lisa used more smelling salts on me. She sweetly stated,
“I thought we were losing you there. Believe me; I want you to see every detail
of this, because the last time just didn’t seem to take.”
I looked
down again and saw that the doctor had been waiting for me to come around. I
watched as everything went into slow motion as he brought each guide around to
cover the jaws holding my scrotum in place. He secured them with a lever catch
and looked up at me one more time. This time his face was blank. Lisa nearly
pushed him off his stool as she took his place in front of me. She leaned
forward and kissed my forehead as she whispered, “You gave them to me. Now do
you know I mean business?”
She sat back
down and this time she opened the sterile scalpel slowly in front of my eyes to
heighten my fear even more. Then came another taunting lecture from her.
“After
today, I trust you’ll give up this notion that you’re ever going to leave me. I
don’t want to find anymore letters, I don’t want to find any money hidden away,
and I don’t want everything to be a fight with you. We can come back here again
and again if you like this adventure so much.”
Finally -
words that this was all just another lesson on behaving as she wanted. She had
it! I will never scheme against her again knowing that this is what I’d be
going through. My breathing slowed a little and I felt the thumping of my heart
in my chest reduce to a minimal level of anxiety. I snapped my head around and
saw Frank smirking and the doctor gave me a polite smile. She was right; I
would never forget this lesson ever.
I watched as
she rolled the scalpel between her fingers and lamented to the doctor that she
could be a surgeon. She placed her left hand under my balls and felt them a
little, and then her right hand brought the scalpel down to rest on the top of
the guides. She looked up at the doctor and asked, “Is he really numb down here?”
He told her
I was as numb as the last time.
I watched
her slide the scalpel down to touch my skin and she asked, “Then he won’t feel
this then?” With that she made the tiniest slice into my scrotum. I began
freaking out and prayed that she was just taking my intimidation one step
further. I screamed into my gag begging her to stop. She looked at Frank, then
the doctor, and then up at me. In a butter melting voice she asked me, “You see
what I can do to you? You going to behave me now?”
I nodded my
head frantically.
“Good, then
you won’t mind me collecting these now. You watching sweetie?”
Then as we
both looked down, I watched in abject horror as I saw her slide the knife down
further. This time her hand wasn’t hiding anything and it was surreal as I watched
her dragging the scalpel through the entire length of the guides, and then my
balls and scrotum fell away into her hand. My eyes nearly fell from my head
trying to see them still attached to me, but instead I followed her left hand
as she brought the vestiges of my manhood up close to my face. I was in shock
and mortified that she had gone through with actually castrating me. I managed
to pry my eyes from my removed testicles to see a face I’ll never forget in my
life. She was so pleased with what she had done to me. I turned to the doctor
and could instantly tell she had caught him by surprise as well. I looked back
and I saw her grab the vessel from the table and slowly worked my balls in
through the neck of the jar, and once in there she held the bottle back in
front of my eyes to show me what she had done.
The doctor
was pushing her to one side and immediately donned more gloves and began
tearing open a suturing kit. He sat in front of me and began pulling the guide plates
back and I saw the folds of my remaining skin part and the smallest drops of
blood were forming. The doctor first pulled on what appeared to be the open end
of veins out far enough to place them into knots. He then folded the layers of
skin inward and immediately made the first suture. I watched that step repeated
eleven times. They were talking rapidly amongst each other, but I was in such a
state of shock that I had no idea what their words meant. I did understand that
the doctor wasn’t pleased with my wife, but she seemed overly delighted. After
the last suture, he washed the area thoroughly and began trying to get me to
listen to him at first, and when I couldn’t comprehend what he was saying, he
began telling Lisa that she had to keep dabbing the wound for a half hour. He
stood up and looked at the jar and then at me.
I watched as
he went over and began pouring liquid from a plastic bottle into the jar right
up to the top. Lisa placed the top back on with such care that it looked like
she was holding a bomb. All I could do was look down at where my balls had been
minutes ago. I began running through my future and how I would have to hide
this shame for the rest of my life. I wondered what this would mean as far as
Lisa was concerned. The realization that I would never ejaculate ever again
seemed to hit me the hardest. I never wanted kids, but I had expected to have a
long sex life.
The rest of
the night was a haze except for one event I will never get out of my mind. When
we arrived home, Lisa insisted that I stand in front of the mantel as she
carefully placed that fucking jar prominently in the middle of the knickknacks
on each side of it. I saw my severed testicles resting on a slight angle within
the confines of its etched walls. When I fell forward, Frank caught me and
helped me to the bedroom.
I awoke
sometime before dawn and in the dark I saw I was alone. I remembered enough of
what had been done to me to gently run two fingers between my legs, and all
except for the ridge of sutures, there was nothing but a flattened area. I
either passed out or fell asleep, but it was daylight before I woke again. I
instantly saw my wife sitting in a chair beside the bed with a huge smile on
her face.
“Oh,
sweetie, does it still hurt? Maybe… a little.”
How could
she act so caringly after she was the cause of my mutilation? She stood up and
pulled the sheet covering me back, forced my legs apart and ran her hand softly
over the sutures.
“Man, you’re
so smooth down there now. Whoops… maybe I shouldn’t have put it that way. But
after all, your new name is Danielle now, isn’t it? I know it’ll take a couple
of days, but you’ll be on your feet and cooking meals again in no time. I do
have to ask you though; can I be sure… that you aren’t going to try running away
now?”
Did I really
have a choice at the moment? Would I even have one after I healed? I slowly
shook my head and closed my eyes. I had a million questions, but none I wanted
to ask now. I politely as possible asked her to leave me the fuck alone, and to
my surprise, she got up to leave. At the door she turned back and just had to
take a parting shot. “Touchy, touchy! Lose a couple of balls and you get all
bitchy like a girl on the rag.”
After she
left though, I found a part of my old self and actually laughed a little over
the absurdity of her taunt. She gave me about four hours before coming back and
I was surprised to see she had made me a meal. Unfortunately; she wanted to
talk again. Just to give her a show of my own sarcasm I reminded her that I
hadn’t taken my hormones yet today. That was just enough to get us talking as I
sat up to eat. I was still nude and as I sat up, I couldn’t help but be aware
of what I now understood were forming breasts as my chest shifted positions in
a very unmanly way.
She started
with, “Okay, so you’ve had a little time to think about things. I want to be
completely serious and get everything out in the open. There’s no turning the
clock back, so we have to figure out where we go from here. I want to work this
out so we can get back to what we had the other day. Until I found that letter,
I thought you had come around to embracing your training as the perfect house
husband. You have no idea how hurt I felt when I found out that you were
plotting against me.”
“How I hurt
you? Look at what you did to me. You fucking mutilated me and you think that’s
okay? And how about your promise that it would be my choice?”
“I’m sorry
for that, but you really pissed me off. All I wanted was to make a perfect life
for us. And now we have it if you just get over your short-sightedness. We have
everything we wanted, right? You bitched about your job day after day. You were
all too happy to hand over earning the money to me, and haven’t I’ve been
taking good care of you? And don’t tell me that you haven’t come around to
enjoying a lot of what I’ve been doing to you. I’ve been watching your face,
your body language, not to mention how much you’ve been changing. I should feel
like the luckiest girl in the world now, so can’t we just get past this bullshit?
What’s done is done!”
I grabbed at
my chest and sarcastically asked, “And what about these? How am I supposed to
hide these and still be your perfect husband?”
Her snicker
infuriated me as she answered, “Don’t worry about them; there’s a lot of ways
to hide those. We just have to be creative.”
“The same
way you’ll hide my missing sack? You think I can just cover these things up
with some clothes? God damn it… you turned me into a… a fucking freak show. I’m
not a man anymore – how can I be a husband?”
My wife
stood up and demanded that I simmer down. She pushed my tray to one side and
began running the flat of her fingers over my new scar. “Just feel this… and
look at it. You’re so damn smooth down here now. Doesn’t this intrigue you even
a little bit?”
Her voice
had grown as soothing and soft as the doctor that had helped her mutilate me,
and unfortunately, that robbed me of my ability to flame out at her. I was near
to tears when I begged to know, “What am I suppose to do now. I’m not a man;
I’m not anything but a freak. I can’t even talk to anybody about this to help
me get through it.”
Lisa looked
worried for the first time. “You can always talk to me and now that we’re
closer, we can even talk easier about everything and the secrets are behind us.
But I do have to ask you one thing. Are you going to the cops?”
I was
puzzled over her question and nearly whined as I answered her. “What? How… how
in the hell do you think I could tell anyone, let alone the cops? You think I
want anyone to know the freak you’ve turned me into?”
She began
smiling and again I wanted to lash out, but then she explained why she had
become so pleased.
“I’m so glad
to hear that, and so won’t the doctor when I tell him. He was certain that you
would get him in trouble. You just have to believe me when I tell you that you
can tell me anything. You can talk to Frank about things. You’re right that I
am responsible for doing this to you and I’m fully prepared to do anything to
help you through this… transition. Can’t you see what’s in your future now?”
I hung my
head as I told her I had no future. And I scoffed at her thinking that Frank
would help me since he had already laughed at me over becoming a eunuch. To
that she said that he might be useful in teaching me how to interact with men,
but then added the word, “sexually”.
“I have to
know… why did you do this to me? Couldn’t you see… that I was already changing
just because of your fucking black mail? You couldn’t wait a few more months,
and then I would still have my balls.”
That shocked
my wife.
“Wow! I knew
you were coming around, but I didn’t know you were seeing that, too.” I could
see her twisting things around in her head. “Then what are you so fucking mad
about? I just helped things go faster. You should be thanking me for helping
your feminine side come out.”
I was
appalled that she thought I should thank her for anything. I needed a moment to
be by my self and the only way I could come up with to get her to leave for at
least a minute was to ask her for my pills.
“No way honey,
not now. We have to cut back on those a little for a few days. Your body’s not
making testosterone anymore, so if we add female hormones to that you’ll be
popping out overnight. Besides, I never wanted you to have huge boobs. I just
wanted a little something for me and Frank to play with without exposing you to
the rest of the world.”
I looked
down at the new protrusions on my chest and thought about how I already matched
up with a girl budding. Even my nipples had started growing a little. I asked, “What
am I suppose to do now. You think Frank will magically become understanding?”
Lisa jumped
on the bed and rubbed my leg. “Say the word and he’s gone. After doing that to
you in the trailer behind my back, I’m ready to send him on his way anyway.
Besides, he’s been a little bothersome to me lately as well. I would have to
wean myself off him for a while, because he really is a good fuck, but if he’s
going to keep you in a shell, I’ll ditch him just for you. But…”
I didn’t
like that “but”.
“I do want
you to have a… boyfriend. It’s cute, and it gets me hotter than all hell. I
have to be honest with you; you remember that night we went bar hopping and we
saw those biker guys… well that night I realized that watching those men force
that guy to suck their cocks was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
Seeing you put on your knees makes me cum and scream inside like a banshee.”
I responded
with, “I know! I knew ever since that night that that was why you were doing
this to me. And I was just beginning to accept… doing that stuff because it
turned you into a descent person again. You know I always like seeing you
losing it. That was why you started sitting on me when I ate you out so I could
see your face easier.”
Her rubbing
of my leg became even more concerned.
“Aw, that’s
so sweet! You knew that all this time and were still doing it for me? You see,
we can work this out. And there’s something else I know about you that you
don’t think I know.” She batted her lashes at me flirtatiously and announced,
“I’ve watched you closely. I know that you’re overcoming your fear of sperm.
I’ve seen the way you sort of hand yourself over to me and Frank when it’s time
to do your thing. You like it now, don’t you?”
Her teasing
me ruffled my fur, but after everything that had happened I figured now was as
good of a time as any to admit a little something to her. Maybe it would
instill a little guilt in her over castrating me.
“Okay, yeah
I’ve gotten a little use to it, but it’s still disgusting.”
Her hand
rubbed furiously at my leg as if jostling my hair and replied, “But you’re
doing it for me? Damn, you see? With just a little more work you can be my
secret little girlfriend and we can share things like best friends. Wouldn’t it
be great sharing secrets about our dates and boyfriends?”
I couldn’t
believe what she was saying. Girlfriends? Boyfriends? The one thing that she
was accomplishing now was that she was calming me down from the rage I had felt
earlier. I loved seeing her giddy mood; I just wish it hadn’t come about this
way. I decided that I needed to hit the head and began getting off the bed. She
helped me walk slowly to the bathroom and after a few steps I stopped.
“What’s
wrong? Your stitches okay? They hurt?”
I couldn’t
explain why I was telling her, but I needed to tell someone what I had
immediately felt during my first steps.
“It’s just…
it feels so weird… down there. It feels so empty.”
For once her
smile made me feel… somehow better. I was feeling closer to her than I had in
two months for all the wrong reasons. When in the bathroom, I was about to
stand to piss since it would be easier, but my wife in her softer and teasing
tone said, “No, no honey.” She worked me around and added, “You have to learn
to do this the right way. A lady sits to pee.”
I had been
through this with her before, but for some reason it didn’t seem nearly as
emasculating now and more like a concerned reaction on her part despite it
still being part of my training. As I emptied my bladder, I knew I was going to
have to come to terms with my new developments and that meant in every aspect
of my life. I loved the way my wife was finally doting over me and seeing her
care for my needs had a soothing effect to what she had done to me. As she
walked me back to the bedroom, I couldn’t get the empty sensation out of my
head. Walking seemed easier than before with that space voided. And another
side effect of that free space was that I felt my hips turning from
side-to-side with every step. I thought about how a woman’s ass sways as she
walks and wondered if that was entirely because of their own empty area. That
was when things got a little embarrassing. Both of us noticed my reaction to
that thought as my cock began growing stiff. Lisa teased me over it and I
finally had to admit to her that it was a very weird sensation for a man to
feel no appendages down there after a lifetime of dealing with them.
I was tired
and went back to sleep for a few hours and when Lisa came back she was as
bubbly as an in-love school girl.
“I… have…
the… wildest news for you. I didn’t tell you yet, but I saw how you went after
Stan, you know, the doctor that day. Sure, the first time you didn’t have any
choice because you were strapped down, but afterwards? Well, I just got off the
phone with him. He is so pleased that you aren’t running to the cops. I told
him how we’re patching things up and how your outlook on life is coming along.
And then, well, he… you’ll never believe this.”
I was still
trying to get my eyes to open completely and wondering what in the hell was
tickling her fancy so much.
“He wants to
come by and make sure you’re…” and with a big wink, “coming along. You know,
you still owe him a thank you for his services and I could tell he was getting
horny just knowing you weren’t seriously mad at him. What do you think? You
ready to play doctor?”
At first I
frowned and sneered at her, but as she kept talking like some airhead
schoolgirl, I began remembering our time together. He had been the first guy I
had willingly gone down on. I remembered how he had been so unlike Frank in the
way he had held my head and guided me to what he wanted instead of just mashing
my face. It was also the first time I hadn’t been made to feel like some
freakish faggot, and that’s probably why I felt at ease enough to make his cum
the first I really worked to taste.
I guess I
had drifted off, because Lisa slapped my knee playfully and asked, “So, you
going to do him?”
“What?” I
shook my head to shake out the cobwebs and asked, “You know it’s not up to me.
I’m the last one to have a say in anything.”
She
playfully slapped my knee again and retorted, “Not anymore sweety! We girls
have to stick together. Now you get to call the shots, at least some of the
time, when involving your own dates.”
“I’m not a
fucking girl!”
“You’ll come
around Danielle. When it comes to men, you’ll find getting a little effeminate
in your mind will help you please them better. And this time I’m leaving it all
up to you. You want to blow him… it’s your choice.” She bumped my side with her
hips and asked in a hushed tone, “What do you think? You gonna do him?”
What the
hell was she doing to me? I felt my face flush with embarrassment, but if I
could be honest with her, yeah, I probably would let him have a go at me.
Again, what the hell was she doing to me? Did I just take on a feminine persona
in allowing that kind of response to work its way into my thoughts.
After
needling me for several minutes, I finally told her that he was, after all, the
guy that had made my castration possible and I had good reason to hate him. She
reminded me that sex is always a love/hate relationship. It sure was between us
now. And finally she got me to say that, if he approached me right, that I
would “give him his fucking payment”. When I told her that, she ran out of the
bedroom and came running back a minute later with my hormone pills and handed
them to me.
“I thought
you said I shouldn’t take these for a while?”
“Well, we
have to cut them back, but you want your new girls to be perky for a doctor,
for Pete’s sake. He is really handsome, and tall, and dreamy; don’t you think?
Anyways, these will make them fuller and taut. Mixed with your new lack of
testosterone, you’ll be a knockout by tomorrow.”
It took her
a while to convince me, but eventually I took the pills from her and downed
them. I couldn’t get rid of her for two hours until I needed even more sleep. I
couldn’t believe how turned on she had become over the doctor coming to see me
and how she had turned things around so quickly between us. I was still pissed
to no end, but she was making me feel better since she was finally coming clean
with me. It was really weird the way she totally assumed I was now her best
girlfriend and still, her neutered husband at the same time. I knew she saw me
now as having the best of two worlds with me. And her uplifted mood was
somewhat of a turn on for me; especially since she was now more conciliatory
towards my feelings and had talked about giving me back the ability to make
some of my own decisions. When she gave me some time alone to dwell on my new
“station” in life, I blew my own mind over some of the thoughts I had and how I
was looking at things in such a different way now.
I looked
down at my flattened and tortured body area, and reached down to feel it. Just
a few rubs did something wild to me and as I was hating the doctor for his role
in my castration, my cock began to swell. At least I knew I could still get
hard, but I had to find out the next part of things. Despite the lingering
pain, I began slowly working my fist on my cock and though I didn’t have the
same sensations I normally had, I did feel something… compelling. I worked on
my self for several minutes, but then it hit me; nothing was happening. Did I
actually expect cum to rush out of my body? Ejaculation was a thing of the
past. If at least Lisa had “fixed” me the normal way, I would still be able to
get off. I just wouldn’t be able to have kids, but I hadn’t wanted any anyways.
I remembered the night before and how Lisa had triumphantly sucked me off just
to feed me my own sperm. Knowing that I would never produce cum anymore left me
saddened, and I remembered how I had passed out feeling that tingling sensation
of my very last cum.
By the time
the good doctor was due to embarrass me even further the next day, Lisa had hit
on just about every topic imaginable concerning my new state of affairs. When
she wasn’t trying to pry her way into what my new role might bring us, she was
out rightly teasing me to tell her how far I would go with the doctor if he
wanted something more down the line. I think I was even more amazed by how
quickly my loss of testosterone was affecting my attitude almost by the minute.
I feared mentioning it to Lisa at first, but when I did, she admitted that she
was seeing it as well. I guess that was the main reason I would sit still and
listen to all the little zings she was taking at me.
Every time
she brought up the doctor, I seemed to blush over what she was assuming, and a
little because I was falling into the very role my wife had set out for me in
the first place. I still was unaware at this point that my castration wasn’t
truly the end of the line as far as her plan went, and in so many ways I would
be glad in the end not to have found out what was up her sleeve. I saw the
doctor at this point as somewhat a starting point. He was probably the only one
that would really fill me in on all the things I wanted to know – both the
positive aspects that Lisa had been driving home already and the negatives.
Hiding what she was doing to me was at the forefront of my questions for him,
but also for his medical knowledge.
Lisa came
running up to me and hopped to a stop in front of me. “He’s on his way! He just
called to make sure we were here and it should be about fifteen minutes.”
My first
reaction was utter embarrassment and a trembling sensation that was totally
foreign to me. I couldn’t look at my wife for fear of her reading my mind as
she was proving was rather easy at the moment. While my back was turned to her,
she came up behind me and ran her hands up under my shirt to feel my boobs.
They were still barely showing, but they felt bloated under her grab.
“You see;
didn’t I tell you those pills would pick them right up and make them taut? Now
we have to show them off a little and who knows, maybe your next boyfriend will
be a doctor.” With that she tugged on my hand and led me to the bedroom where
she started rummaging through the closet. I was wondering what she was planning
until I saw her come at me with a tight knit halter top. “Here, put this on.”
“I’m not
wearing that. That’s your shirt. I’m not going to start cross-dressing even for
you.”
“Put… the…
fucking… top on. I’m not going to argue with you about this. Just do as you’re
told.”
That was the first harsh words that had come
out of her in two days, so a little intimidated; I began doing as she ordered.
I felt absolutely weird pulling that shirt over my head, but when I pulled it
down over my growing chest, it got much worse. It was too small for me and that
made it even more form fitting than it was on my wife. She came over to me with
a skirt in her hand and after dropping it on the bed, she began pushing my new
growth around under the shirt situating them for what she considered to be the
best look.
“You look
like such a slut without a bra. You nasty girl… I like that. Don’t worry
though, you’ll get some bras down the road.” She had to see I wasn’t amused.
“Now here, put this on… and no panties.”
She handed
me the skirt and after all but threatening me with my life, I finally dropped
my pants and tried figuring out the proper way to put on a skirt. It was
extremely short and the opening beneath me felt nearly as weird as the new
voided area between my legs. Every movement reminded me of my near exposure to
the world. I saw myself in the mirror and begged Lisa to let me change, but her
mind was set. When we heard a knock on the door, she jumped into the air to run
for the door even as I begged a final time for some form of dignity.
I hid out in
the bedroom hoping that it was someone at the door other than the doctor, but
in short order I was being summoned to the front room. I crossed my arms trying
to cover my growth spurt and headed out to meet my newest trial. I could tell
the doctor was just as surprised as I was by his face. Lisa ordered me to put
my arms down as it wasn’t lady-like to hold my arms that way. When I dropped
them, she turned to the doctor and said, “Well, what do you think. Isn’t she
pretty as anything?” Then leaning in as if not to let me hear, “She’s still a
little butch looking, but we’re working on that.”
To emphasize
my attire to the doctor, she gave us a formal introduction. “Doctor Roberts,
this is my girlfriend, Danielle. Danielle, offer the man your hand.”
I guess he
felt like he should play along and only held the tips of my fingers when I
offered him my hand as if he had given me a complete sex change. “Please, call
me Stan, Danielle is it? And how are you doing today? Everything staying clean
and healing well I hope.”
Lisa took
over answering all his trivial questions and telling him how things had been
going between us. There was no hiding her exuberance however. After a couple of
minutes she asked Stan if he wanted to check me out for infections and such. He
told her that that was what he was here for and asked where we could go. At
first she told me to strip right there, but thankfully the doctor balked and
she kicked up my embarrassment another notch.
“Oh, that’s
right. That’s so silly of me… you probably want a little privacy. You two can
use the bedroom. There aren’t any stirrups, but I’m sure you’ll get to see
everything necessary.” And as I led him to the bedroom, she included one last
parting shot; probably meant more as an invitation. “Now don’t get fresh with
my girl now, doc.”
Once I had
closed the door, I apologized to Stan for some reason. Considering what he had
helped do to me, he’s the one that should be apologizing to me – for the rest
of his life. We both stood there facing each other awkwardly until he finally
said I should probably lift my skirt so he could take a look. Feebly I lifted
it a little and when he found it hard to see anything, he suggested I lie back
on the bed. I did that and raised the skirt up so he had a perfect view of what
they had done. He looked at first, told me how everything looked better than
normal, and then asked if he could feel the area. I told him to do what he had
to do and turned my head away from his stare.
As he began
running his fingers in an inspection way over my sutures, he began talking in
his calming way. “Lisa told me that you were already taking female hormones,
but I didn’t know they were having any effect yet. After a couple of weeks you
can start them again.”
“She has me
taking them again now.”
“You really
shouldn’t mix them with the male hormones I gave her, they could…”
He realized
what she was doing and decided to change the subject. And now I knew what she
was doing, too.
He began
staring at my pronounced chest through the tight fitting shirt and in a very
hesitating voice he asked, “Would you mind… if maybe I had a look?”
My obvious
question was, “Why, could something be wrong?”
“No, no, I
was just interested…”
In my lying position
it was impossible not to notice he was getting a boner, and something came over
me when I noticed that. I sat up on the edge of the bed and fumbled trying to
get the top over my head. I’m not sure of how to describe it, but a wild type
of heat ran through me and suddenly I knew Lisa was going to get her way.
I stared up
to see the doctor burning a hole into my chest with his eyes, and I found
myself standing up to face him. “Go ahead, you can feel them.”
He seemed
like a man blessed as he began fondling my chest as if inspecting my wife’s
handiwork. It felt good and I felt my chest heaving under his touch and it
seemed to automatically push into his hands.
Stan mumbled
how many a man would love to be in his place. I felt him weirder than I would
like saying that, but when I looked into his eyes and saw he was actually
lusting for me, I began physically shaking as he groped lightly at me. I knew I
was about to take a step that Lisa would kill to see, but I just had to do it.
I backed away from him and his hands fell away. I worked the skirt down over my
hips, and saw that they were taking on a new shape that made it a little harder
than it should be, and stepped out of it.
“So, what do
you think now? Am I a fucking freak or what?”
His face was
priceless over the new convert I had become. I moved ever so slightly forward
and he took my hint as to what I was offering him. One hand went back to my
chest and began tweaking at my nipples. I was amazed that something that had
been so tender just minutes earlier now seemed delighted to be toyed with, and
it felt good. His other hand ran down my back and began squeezing my ass and
then came around to feel between my legs. He buried his head into my neck as if
to hide from me and got lost exploring my body. He seemed especially interested
in feeling the flattened spot he had created and I realized that maybe Lisa had
found a twin with her same desires. He seemed to purposely avoid touching my
cock, and even though I felt really horny, it remained as flaccid as if it were
in a cold river. I found my legs spreading almost involuntarily for him and
after a moment he did the oddest thing yet in my new role. He pulled his head
back, stared into my stunned eyes, and began kissing me. At first I fought such
a revolting action, but when I understood he was seeing me more as a woman than
a man, I gave in and even kissed him back. I felt so ashamed as a man to do
something so fucking gay, but my new sense of thinking made me more interested
in just pleasing this guy who’s hands I had willingly invited to touch me.
After
kissing another man for the first time, some new emotion came over me and I
reached out to see just how interested in me he really was in the only way one
might; I grabbed his crotch and began feeling his boner for me. It was
extremely hard and when I thought about how gently he had taken me that first
time in his office, I slowly began falling away from his hands until I was on
my knees in front of him.
He looked
down at me and asked, “Payday?”
I nodded my
head twice and reached for his belt. As I began preparing this man for what I
wanted to do to him, I had my first real feeling of what it had to feel like
for a gay guy. When I had successfully managed to get his pants and shorts down
to his ankles, I looked up and lost my breath. I had been getting use to doing
this to Frank, but this was so much different. I really felt like it was my
place to relieve this man in the same way any woman might do for him. I wrapped
my hand around his shaft and felt how hard he was for me, and leaned in to
absorb that smooth tip of his cock into my mouth. And then I had to have more
of him in me and went down on him as deep as I could. When I heard him moaning,
it drove me into a frenzy and I had a mission to make him cum for me. Ironic,
considering he was the very person that had just robbed me of that same
ability.
I felt his
hands go to the back of my head again and it felt so comforting to me. I put my
hands over his and pulled them against my head to show him I wanted him to
guide my efforts. Just as the last time, he took my lead and ran with it. As he
held my head down on his cock as far as it would go, I gagged a little, but
this time he was sure he had my permission, and time after time he repeated
this motion until I gagged or choked just a little. I realized that instead of
my cock growing hard, it was my nipples that felt so hard that they felt like
they would burst. I relaxed my head and allowed him to control it just the way
he needed. I guess it was the feeling of being needed so much by this guy that
made this so easy for me. I really wanted him to have the very best time he
could possibly have with me. I wondered again if it were the pills, my
training, or now perhaps the loss of my balls that was causing me to act this
way. Two months ago it would take as many bikers as what had started all this
just to get a cock in my mouth, and now here I was craving the feel of a man’s
cock to use my mouth entirely for his pleasure.
From
somewhere I heard, “You like that?”
I looked up
and nodded my head.
“You know, I
didn’t know she was going to do that the other night. She had told me that she
just wanted to scare the hell out of you again.”
Without
allowing his cock to fall from my mouth, I looked back up and tried to smile for
him. I was glad that he had been duped as much as me.
“But you
know, seeing you like this makes me think that maybe she’s onto something here.
You really are good at this. I thought you were going to hate me and not want
to ever see me again.”
I was happy
to hear his words of comfort. It was nice knowing that the guy I was working so
hard to satisfy appreciated my efforts. I pulled his hands against my head
again and he lost himself in just getting the best blowjob that he could from
me. When the gagging became repetitive, I knew he was getting ready to cum for
me. For some reason I felt his balls and rubbed them softly as if I was
remembering my own. When I felt his first shot, I thrust my head forward so his
entire load would be headed where all men want it to go. I felt my throat
filling up and swallowed the best I could and waited for more. I repeated that
action several times until I was sure he was done, and then took several deep
plunges down onto his cock to finish him off.
When I was
through satisfying my own needs, I pulled back and instantly felt ashamed over
what I had just done. I cleared my throat as I stood up and turned away. He
realized the guilt I felt and wrapped his arms around me to keep me from
walking away.
“Its okay,
Dan. It’s going to take you a while to get use to this, but I’ve got to tell
you, that was one of the best blowjobs I ever got. I still can’t believe you
did that after what I helped her do to you.”
“Danielle!”
Not quite
understanding what I meant, he asked, “What?”
“Danielle,
remember. That’s her new name for me.”
“You don’t
mind it?”
I took a
long pause and replied, “A little, but what can I do about it. I guess after
what I just did to you, it may be fitting. If you use it with her, she’ll love
you for it.”
I turned and
asked, “So, does everything look okay? And… not taking the pills you gave her…
will that do anything bad to me?”
Stan thought
about it for a moment and was very honest with me. “No, it won’t hurt you, but
taking her pills will accelerate… you know, what’s happening to your body.” He
reached up and grabbed my ass as I had turned around trying to pull the skirt
back on and said, “Such as this! And your voice will get a little higher,
you’ll start losing a bit of body hair, not to mention muscle mass in certain
areas. You’re hips are already jutting out a little, too.”
I began
pulling my wife’s shirt over my head and found he doctor copping a last feel of
my chest. I waited for a moment until he removed his hand and finished pulling
it down.
I began
leading Stan back to the living room where I knew Lisa would be waiting to
pepper him with an onslaught of questions; both medical and what had gone on
behind closed doors. He stopped me and asked me what he should say to her about
what had happened between us, and since I knew there would be no hiding it
anyway, I told him to tell her the truth.
Sure enough,
she wasn’t just waiting for us, but had poured drinks for us as well.
“So, do we
celebrate or what? Everything look okay so far?”
Stan told her
everything looked great and mentioned how she had not giving me the replacement
hormone pills. It was nice seeing someone take a whack at her. But she brushed
it off and went on to say, “So, what took so long? He didn’t… I mean, she
didn’t give you a hard time did she?”
Stan looked
at me as he spoke and replied, “We were just discussing things, such as his…
development.”
Lisa
quipped, “Come on now doc, don’t tell me she didn’t pay you for your services?
And this house call? What doctor ever makes house calls anymore? You gotta tell
me you got a little something off her.”
Stan looked
at her as he was about to swig off his drink and just before taking it said,
“No, no, Danielle made good on her debt. You’re all paid up.”
My wife
sidled up next to him and bumped his hip with hers and asked, “Was she good to
you? But more importantly, was she nice to you?”
He looked
back at me and even though I was openly blushing over her questions, he
replied, “She was very nice… and I hope to see her again. If nothing else, you
have to come back in five days for me to remove the stitches. And yes, Danielle
was very good.”
Lisa took
first Stan’s hand and then mine and began walking us over to the fireplace. I
knew what she was going to do and I tried pulling away from her, but soon we
were standing right there. She told the doctor that he had to see her ‘trophy’
and immediately pointed to the very vessel that was now the permanent home of
my balls. I had avoided this sight since getting back to me feet. I had only
caught a glimpse of them that night she had stolen them away from me, but now I
looked at them right in front of my eyes for the first time. My mouth was
gaping open, my breath labored, and it felt like my heart would burst from
pumping so hard. There they were; my once most vital organs that was the
standard by which men are measured. They looked as though they had just been
harvested from me. I remembered the sight of them as they fell away from my
body and into my wife’s hand, and everything began fading away. A moment later
I was coming to as the doctor was holding me in a sitting position on the
floor. When I looked around trying to understand that I had fainted, the smile
on my wife’s face said it all – for some reason she was extremely happy to see
how the sight of my own balls in the vessel on the mantel had affected me.
It turned
out that Lisa talked the doctor into coming back to the house to remove the
stitches when it was time and I could only assume it was for her to watch
something happen between us.
After ten
minutes, Stan was headed for the door and Lisa stopped him to give him a kiss
on the lips. “Maybe next time you’ll have time to examine me.” She turned to me
and asked, “Aren’t you going to say goodbye to the good doctor for coming to
see you?”
I had only
done that in one way in the past with Frank and wasn’t exactly sure what she
was asking of me. So I took and made a best effort to make her happy. I went
over to him, felt his crotch as I normally would to say goodbye to Frank, and
then added a kiss to the side of his face. Lisa raised her eyebrows over that
and then grinned from ear to ear.
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