Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. Chapter 2: The one with the Arrangement. When Kareena got up the next morning she had a heavy head. She hated these `morning-after's . She looked at the watch. "Shit!" she exclaimed, "it's fuckin' 10 o'clock! I have to get to the police station!" She finished off her morning rituals as quickly as she could and then rummaged through her bag for the address of the police station that the havaldar had written down for her. "SHANTAAAA!" she yelled. Shanta, the kamwali, came running. "Shanta isko padho. Kya likha hain address?" Kareena prided herself on not knowing how to read any of the Indian languages. She wasn't even aware that Hindi (which she knew somewhat) and Marathi shared the same script. Having figured out the address she wrote it out in English. She then asked the driver to take out the old Maruti 800. She wore goggles and tied a scarf around her head. She didn't want to be noticed. The press was way too nosy these days. One whiff and they'd brand her a drunkard. She didn't want to be turned into another Manisha by those hounds. They drove to the police station. She stepped out and ran inside the police station quickly pausing only for a moment to notice her new Skoda parked under a huge banyan tree and splattered all over by bird droppings. She winced. She found the found the inspector's cabin. The plate outside said: "Deepak Salvi - Special Division". She pushed the door and stepped inside. "Hello inspector. I have come to collect my car." "Ms. Kapoor you are two hours late. I'm busy. Please wait outside." "What do you mean wait? I don't have time! Yashji is waiting for me." "Well, you are the one who's late. So you must wait. Now please step outside." Kareena repeated the dirty look she had given him the previous night. He gave her the same smile he had. "You'll find a bench outside. Please wait there. I'll call you." Kareena stamped her high heeled foot and turned around to go. "Oh one more thing." Salvi said, Kareena turned back. "Learn to knock when you come in. Didn't you ever go to school. Maybe not. You'd have learned some manners then." Kareena stomped out fuming. After what seemed like eternity Kareena was called in. She walked in brushing the twin doors apart. "Please go out!" Salvi ordered. "WHAT?" Kareena retorted hotly. "Please go out, knock, and then come in" Kareena didn't say anything. She went out and knocked. "Come in." She stomped her way to the chair and sat down. "Get up!" "Huh?!!?" "Who said you could sit down?" Kareena was beyond arguments. She wanted to have this done and over with. She got up. "Why are you standing? Please take a seat! And do take off those goggles. The IPS maybe poor, but we still have money enough to put a patra to keep out the sun!" said Deepak with a mock laughter that was more a slap in the face. Kareena took off her glares and sat in the middle chair that was facing the inspector. "Ms. Kapoor I have been making enquiries. The RTO has no record of a license in the name of Kareena Kapoor. But since you have an ever changing spelling I thought maybe that's the cause. Do you possess a license Ms. Kapoor?" Kareena felt trapped. She had expected this to be a cakewalk. How did she know this was going to be an investigation? She looked at him sheepishly. "Well... as a matter of fact... no." Kareena mumbled. "Hmmm. Driving without a license. Driving in an inebriated state. Trying to bribe a policeman. I'd say you are in quite a sticky spot Ms. Kapoor." "Well you have no proof of any of that!" Kareena said suddenly, sporting a cold smile she had learnt from Aishwarya. "Hmmm. Sorry to disappoint you Ms. Kapoor, but we are learning from our colleagues in the West. Let me demonstrate. DATTA" he called out. A havaldar in a half-chuddy came in. "Jara kal ratrichi tape gheun ye". Salvi ordered. "You see madam; we have started recording our proceedings too. Too many of these human rights activists around. They always want proof that it was truly an encounter. So we record everything." Datta came in once again. "Tape lav". Datta pushed in the video tape into the VCR that was in a corner. To her horror Kareena saw her sluttish smile (it had seemed cute then!) and her overtly sexual brush against the inspector's crotch. She saw her force the 500 rupee note into his pocket. She knew she was trapped. She turned towards Deepak with fear written all over her face. "Well madam. You have your proof." Deepak said with a smile. Kareena's brain seemed to have stopped working. She couldn't think. She just looked down at the table. (The photograph of a vastly mustached man looked back, but she didn't notice.). Then suddenly the inspector felt something at his crotch. A small foot was rubbing softly against his crotch. Kareena was looking at him with all the lust she could fill in her eyes. "Surely we can `arrange' something!" she purred. Salvi looked amused. Then Kareena felt something cold go around her ankle. To her utter horror she felt her foot immobilized. Salvi had put a loop of a hand cuff around her ankle. "The other end of this is attached to my drawer. Since you are such a lover of `proof' I just want to make sure you don't say you didn't try to make sexual advances toward a person of the law. Kareena was truly shit scared. She was further scared out of her wits when Salvi called Datta in once again. She was sure she was going to jail. She was a little surprised then, to hear the inspector tell the havaldar to not let anyone in. Once Datta had exited, Salvi spoke again, but he seemed to be genuinely interested this time. "What kind of arrangement are you thinking of madam?" Kareena was truly surprised, but she spoke up finally. "Well... you know... are you married?" "No." "Do you have a girlfriend?" "No." "So then you're single?" "It would seem so, wouldn't it?" "Well then... maybe you and me...could maybe...work something out!" Salvi looked straight into her eyes. He seemed to be thinking. After a considerable silence he spoke again. "Well, you know. I stay alone. And it's so difficult to get a bai these days..." he began. "Oh he wants someone to hear his sob story," Kareena thought to herself, "well I'll play along. This should be easy." "Yeah." She heard herself saying. Actually she had no idea what the bai situation was like at all! "So here's what I have in mind." Deepak continued. "You can be my maid for a day. I will expect you to do whatever I tell you without questioning. If I'm satisfied I'll let you off. If not... Of course you may decline this offer absolutely. I will then turn you in for all the offences of yesterday night and in addition book you for trying to solicit help by offering sexual favours." Kareena looked at him wide-eyed. She was dumb-founded. "Well...?" Salvi asked after a while. He believed in letting people think. Kareena considered her options. Then she looked down at the table once again. "Okay..." she said at long last. "Excellent. Here's my address. I want you to be there tomorrow at 9 a.m. sharp. Don't be late. You will be relieved from duty at 9 a.m. day after. During that time, to quote my favorite action hero: `Your ass is mine!'" Kareena looked up at him surprised. The inspector, who had been most civil till now, seemed suddenly not so civil at all! The inspector removed the hand cuff. "Don't try to be funny Ms. Kapoor. You can go to my seniors if you like. The only difference would be that you'd have to sleep with an older man. Trust me. The only way you'll ever get out of this mess is by sleeping thru it. You can decide your partner of course!" "And now, if will allow me... I have to get back to work. Please be at this address tomorrow at nine" he said returning to his perfect gentlemanly talk. Kareena walked out of the room in a stupor. What had seemed like a routine mamla had turned so skewed that she couldn't imagine. End of Chapter 2.