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 Schadenfreude

   "Doc, I'm really sorry to bother you like this.  It was just such a
shock seeing her like that.  I don't want to waste your time or anything. I
just need to talk to someone."

   "I don't mind.  You're paying"

   "Well, it was a real shock, you see.  I never ever thought I'd see her
again and to run into her at Waterloo station.  You see, the thing is, er,
I know now what they mean by something taking your breath away.  I couldn't
breathe, like literally couldn't breathe.  And the shock!  Christ!  It was
a physical pain in my chest.  Oh, I knew I wasn't having a heart attack, I
can recognise a myocardial infarction when I have one, but it was real,
serious pain."

   "How long since you saw her last?"

   "Oh, about five years two months."

   "That's not approximate, that's exact.  It seems to me that you never
got over her."

   "I thought I was.  I thought I'd cracked it.  Then I see her again and
everything goes pear-shaped.  I really hope you didn't mind me calling you,
Doc.  I didn't know what else to do."

   "Like I said, you're paying."

   "Ok then.  What I want to know is why she's still affecting me like
this. I mean to say; you'd think I could handle it after five years.  It's
not as if there haven't been others.  It's just that she was special, I
guess."

   "How so?"

   "Christ, I don't know!  She came from a different world, I suppose.  You
know me, Doc.  I'm not exactly the most exciting person in London and she
was this 'society babe,' picture in the 'Tattler,' that sort of thing.  Not
that that impressed me.  Of course, there was the sex.  Abso-fucking-lutely
incredible!  I'm not exactly inexperienced, Doc, as you know, but she just
knocked me out."

   "Go on."

   "Well, we met at 'Tramps.' Not my usual stamping ground but a pal of
mine had got promoted so we were celebrating.  I wasn't on the look out--I
was going out with Melanie at the time--I just couldn't believe it when I
pulled her.  Anyway, we ended up going back to her place and she blew me in
the taxi!  Ever had sex in a black cab, Doc?"

   "Can't say I have."

   "You should try it.  No I didn't mean that, man in your position,
wouldn't be right.  Where was I?  Oh right, fantastic sex.  It wasn't only
that of course."

   "Tell me more."

   "She was a lovely person.  And she had magnificent tits; you should have
seen them, defied gravity!  And they were all real.  She used to have her
pubes waxed very other week.  I really liked that, bald as a baby.  And she
was really intelligent as well.  Look, Doc, are you sure you don't mind?  I
don't want to waste your time or anything."

   "Stop moaning and buy me another pint.  I'm enjoying it."

   The End