<!-- Written by Slippers, all rights reserved --> <!-- No use or printing without permission --> <!-- Written on 10/30/02 1:20:32 PM --> Diary, The daydreaming is getting worse, and I lied to the doctor. I told him it wasn't. He left the pills the same, dosage and all, and we (mom) and I went to Wendy's for their salad bar. She dropped me off at home, then went on to a property closing or something. He's glad I'm still using this journal,and he said to be descriptive and detailed, so expect Lonnng entries from now on ok? I turned on the computer, and then started the water for a bath. Dry skin is my curse! and it itches too, so while the bedroom was steaming up, and the air filled with berry and milk fragrances, I checked for chat friends, and emails. While I answered emails, and wrote friends letters, every now and then there would be this Ding! and a box would open, and somebody would want to know if I was real, or if I had naked pictures to give them, or if I wanted to get a great deal on Viagra for my boyfriend. I just want to scream sometimes Diary- "I'm real! I'm single! and if I wanted to give you my picture, you wouldn't have to ask, I'd already know you!" God, sometimes weeding through all the crud messages gets me down. I mean, it depresses and saddens me (details!). I was writing a friend about anxiety, and medications, reactions, just like what anxiety really is, and all that. many boxes opened up, I just closed them, I didn't really even read 'em. I got up and walked into the bathroom, turning the little bony handles off. It took me a few minutes to get all the way submerged into the tub, the steamy water was just tooo hot! I'm telling my parents tonight that the money it cost on a longer, deeper tub with airjets, was totally worth it. Oh my god is it nice. I sort of just bobbed in the water and breathed the vapors for a minute, then I heard "DING!" I think this is where I started daydreaming. I needed to turn off the computer see, and get the cordless phone, in case someone called while I was basting! I stood, and rubbed the excess water off my skin, and decided to make it as quick a trip as possible, so I didn't soak the carpet. I counted to three, and stepped out onto the carpet, and ran through the freezing air. First I got to the computer. I looked at the little message box that opened, but there weren't any words, it was blank. I shut off the computer with a quick click of a powerstrip switch, and hurried over to the phone, in its neon green cradle. I grabbed it up in my left hand, and turned on my heels. I leaped out my bedroom, dialing as I ran. I got to the bottom of the stairs, into the living room, and sprinted into the foyer. I almost fell when my wet feet hit the slick tiles by the front door. I slammed into the heavy wooden door, and had to tug really hard after unlocking it to break the airseal, and open it. One last tug and Pop! it opened! SO I hurried upstairs, barefeet slapping on the tiles, and into the bedroom. I laid down on the bed, face down, and stretched my feet and hands toward the corners of my bed, but with a king size, there's no way I could touch! I relaxed on the cool sheet, and almost instantly fell asleep. I dont know Diary, maybe a half hour later or so, I woke up, and thought "Ok what am I doing? My bath is getting cold!" I was really groggy, walking into the bathroom, and there was my forgotten water. I drained most of the water, and kinda stumbled down the stairs to see if that door was open- it had shut so I then refilled the bath. I must have been thinking three things at once, and got confused- it's common they say. Anyways I just took off my dress and my jewelry and slid into the hot humid water. Wouldn't you know, I woke up the next morning in a tub of cold water! I toweled off, threw my clothes in the dirty clothes pile, and went to class (ok, i ate and got dressed first). I tried to concentrate but I'm a mental mess all day so I'm writing this to clear it all out.I feel 200% better Diary so don't think I'm having problems. I'm ok.