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 Entry 141

   Dearest Diary of my heresies,

   From my mother's car I write of my erotic experience that just occurred.
Please do not think me evil, the pleasure I have given and my own
fulfillment seem to justify myself somehow, though I know were I to be in
that brighter, "day" mind, instead of this my passionate "dark" mind, I
would be perhaps overcome with dread.

   As I sat on the bench at the far end of the playground behind the
church, I pressed my rear against the back of the bench, and slid casually
down into my place.  George (not his real name) had been walking with me,
but was with his friend Erique, about ten feet from me, which was at least
sixty feet from the children on the slides, and off to the left.

   They are both in high school, one 15 the other 17, neither have
girlfriends though they are both good looking guys.  They just try too
hard. Enrique is tall, and thin, dark hair, dark eyes, olive skin.  George
plays football at school, and is at least five inches taller than me,
stocky, big hands, and biceps, short blonde hair and a wide grin.  George
always wears suits- cheap, blue polyester, bought at Valu-Mart or
something, his chest bearly contained within the stretching jacket. 
Enrique wears jeans and an untucked t-shirt, the nicest thing he owns I
think, but still so urban, so dangerous, raw and sexual.

   My yellow wraparound, being tied loosely, rode up as I slid down, and
when I had planted myself, my knees were visible, the skirt hem wonderfully
placed just above my knee and slit opened on top to the middle of my
thighs. Cool air filled the pocket of yellow fabric between my trembling
white nylon leggings and my bare basket of womanly fruit, now just visible
to my lean and hungry wild young stallions.  The children off to my left
were playing, oblivious.  I leaned my head down and pretended to sleep.  I
had complained all morning of being tired, and George had been at
sleepovers with me, he knew how easily I crash, and how hard I am to wake.
It can take several minutes of shaking me sometimes, and I was going to use
that to their advantage.  I noticed as I bowed my head, that the top of my
wraparound had opened and slid to the left, showing mature and healthy
breast cleavage, and most of my left breast in its Cross my Heart and Offer
Myself Bra.  I smiled for a second knowing how good they were going to feel
soon.

   Their talking about which X-Man was cooler soon stopped.  My eyes were
shut, but I heard whispering.  Then quiet.  My blood was pounding and my
breath wanted to race, but I concentrated on it being slow, and steady,
even breathing deeper than normal, so they could see my chest rise and fall
in slow, unguarded rythms.  They came within five feet or so, standing in
front by my knees and feet.I heard Enrique giggle and George said firmly,
boldly, "No shit, I'm telling you!" Then one of them kicked my left foot,
by the heel.

   My shoe slid forward a little, but I helped it out by allowing my knee
to lean out and the foot stretched all the way out.  Someone sat next to
me, on my right.  The other was lightly kicking my right foot, trying to
make it slide open too, but obviously afraid I would wake.  The sitting one
turned out to be Enrique who said "Hey Wendy it's your papa coming!" and
snickered.  I wrinkled my eyebrows just a hint, and that was all.  I felt
George slip his foot under my right achilles, and lift.  Enrique's breath
was on my face.  My foot was sat down fully outstretched and a foot or more
over to the right, displayed as he desired me to be.  Air was blowing
straight onto my waist and underbelly, and between my thighs.  I must have
been clearly visible to anyone sitting or standing next to me.  Enriques
fingers brushed my flying hair off my face and over my right ear.I didn't
even blink.  His finger continued playing with my ear, and earlobe.  Then
he traced a line down my neck.  God that turned up my heat!  I heard George
whisper something, but nothing changed.  Enrique's finger made it to where
the bra's lace pressed against my right bosom.  I didn't mean to sigh, I
was inhaling, and I just breathed that way when his finger traced over the
bra, pulling the yellow cotton dress to open more.  George's voice was
insistent, I could just make out the words ",,,fuck outta here,,," and knew
my gift was at its end.  Enrique whispered something in spanish into my
right ear, his breath hot and moist.  Not to leave empty handed, in front
of his peer, George walked up between my legs, standing at my knees, his
polyester trousers warm against my stockings.  Enrique leaped up and then I
heard two sets of feet run over to the slide, talking to the children,
telling them to be careful.  I slid my right foot over against my left as I
rolled away from the church and toward the men i had pleased.  I lay there
in the sun for several minutes, then sat up, straightened my dress, and
walked slowly to the parking lot.  I got into my mom's car, got out my
journal from my backpack, and started writing this.  In a few minutes
people will begin leaving the church and I will get out, and only I will
know the help I gave the two boys who will soon be men.