Entry 125
MC, nc, md, mf, reluc
<From my journal; only four sentences altered, this
is nearly exactly factual>

Diary, It’s Gorgeous out!

   One of those days in Spring, where for some silly
reason it goes up to almost 90! I wore a gabardine
pantsuit out this morning, but by lunch was into my
shorts drawer for the first time since October.
Still, it’s March, a rather modest month I think, so
I wore blue jean shorts and a T-shirt, and jogging
shoes.
   I planted that garden- well, some of it anyways.
God it’s going to be huge this year. Mom is getting
the fever from me I think so she is buying books on
what plants like which others, and asked for help. I
was almost completely covered in topsoil when Joe
walked up from his farm at the end of the street
with his mare! She’s a chestnut, with two white
socks, and such a sweetheart too! She’s shod, so she
clop-clops on the road. She nibbled on my shirt
while I talked to Joe about the horses, ponies, and
farm plans this year. He said I could come down
there any time, just to watch and hang out, and I
said I would. Then I guess I turned my attention to
“the nibbler”, so I can’t really say what he was
talking about at that point, but I think it was
about horses and his cows, and the pasture,
something like that.
   Somewhere around there I drifted, and GOD I hope
he didn’t notice. I wonder sometimes if on my little
trips like, if I drool, or something. But nobody’s
ever even noticed, so I guess not. It seemed like
reality, the flies on her ears, nibbling my shirt,
how warm it was, Joe near me on my right. I think it
changed at one shirt nibble.
   She got my left sleeve, and I tugged but she
wouldn’t let go. I pulled my arm inside the sleeve,
and then the other, and lifted the shirt up and over
my head. She shook my shirt in her mouth and I said,
“Joe she’s going to eat it!” He put his hands on my
shoulders and said, “Wendy, baby, you just relax and
I’ll take care of this.” I knew he wouldn’t be too
weirded by me in my bra, but I didn’t really want to
be without my shirt you know? I stayed facing the
mare, even pressing against her.
   His right hand was on my neck and right shoulder
while his left was playing with her gums and lips.
She just shook her head, stubborn horse! I leaned
against her kinda like a hug, while Joe just kept
saying, “Come on girl, give it up! Let go girl, come
on, let go, just let go,,” I was going to turn
around, but I only had a bra on, and his hand on my
neck was wonderful. I admit I would have spent an
hour there if he would have just kept kneading my
skin and muscles with his big farmer hands. I could
hear her heart through her soft warm neck. I’m not
sure how long I stood there.
   I felt a light tugging at my shoulder and turned
slowly to face him, slowly, like in a daze. He
slapped my bra in the cleavage and it quickly fell
to Earth, having been undone I guess already. I
looked down at it, feeling calm, sleepy, but not the
freaked out, upset person I should have been. When I
looked up He was handing me something shiny. I
opened my mouth and he stuck it in, and then this
strap cinched around the back of my head, and I felt
these little paddle things squeeze my tongue. I
totally freaked! Those hands though, God, they’re
like magic. One went down my back, and the other
stroked down my chest and tummy, and up the right
hip. God my body went into instant shivers. I shook
my head and tried to yell “NO! You’ve got it wrong!”
But those paddles made it tough to move the tongue,
and that bit muffled everything quite a bit, so it
came out like, “Oh! Ooh doddy wahn!”
   I said it twice, and the third time reached up to
my head, but his hand on my ear, like, tugging and
rubbing my right ear, I don’t know, I grabbed his
hand and said it again. He just looked at me with
this knowing, caring gaze, and said “Good girl, easy
girl, let go, just let go, come on,,,” His right
hand was firmly stroking my breasts and tummy, like
he knew how sensitive they were, but also not
hesitant, not worried, not hurried. I was standing
on our little dead end side street, topless, and
letting a man fondle me, and all I wanted to do
right then was close my eyes and just breathe and
let him keep touching my front, and back when his
hand on my ear finally moved down my neck.
   I felt the lips and nose of the mare on the seat
of my jeans, bumping me, snorting, nibbling. His
right hand was tugging on my jeans, and then I heard
the button pop. The zipper slid south by itself, and
his hands wrapped me from behind, tucking into the
hollows in front where the pelvis and thighs all
connect. I tried to shake my head and scream, but
all I managed was to whisk my back with my hair, and
moan lightly. Any harder head motions or like, mouth
movements, and those paddles would squish my tongue
even more than they normally did! His thick hard
fingers and hands smoothed down my legs, and I felt
my undies travel down my butt, then heard my clothes
hit the ground. I remembered a similar daydream
where I was in Joe’s field and my undies got dirty,
and I was glad I was standing in a clean curb by a
clean road. The mare’s nose and lips slobbered
across my back and down my butt, and I leaned away
from her cold sticky ooze. Thinking now I’m not sure
why I didn’t just walk away. It was like his left
hand, petting my back, and my butt, was shorting out
even the concept of leaving I guess. I don’t know.
Something for discussion at therapy, maybe?
   Leaning over stopped that nose wiping, and I felt
his hands grip my hips, hard, sure. My breasts swung
and bounced roughly, and I was staring at my shorts.
I was trying to say, “No, Let me go!” But as this
hard smooth object pressed against me, and started
widening and forcing my muscles and skin to accept
it, my knees shook and almost buckled, and I heard
“nummohmmmmmooooh” come from my mouth.
   I never did get a tug on that bit- God that would
have hurt. I can tell you it makes breathing
difficult, talking impossible, and slobbering a fact
of nature. That’s all I was thinking; how weird that
bit felt, how ladylike drooling onto my own shorts
was, and how whatever entered me felt. It wasn’t
very long, and it wasn’t super wide, and I don’t
recall the feeling of hips against me. I’m not
really sure if both his hands were on me in fact,
what I’m saying is I don’t think it was him inside
me, sliding in, and out, and rolling around in those
lazy, widening circles, making me open my legs more
and bend deeper to like, accommodate it. Oh my God
Diary, I stood there, drooling and panting, being
serviced, trying not to fall from the pressure and
the heady orgasm coming on, and then, I realized it
was almost three in the afternoon, and I was outside
near the end of the road, in broad daylight! I was
thinking “God NO!” But this long muffled, slurpy
moan came through the mechanical jaws, straps, and
bar. I shook violently and my whole body climaxed.
   I actually did stagger and kinda fall I guess cuz
I was on the ground being helped up by a smiling,
strong, friendly man. He thought I was brushing
myself off, when actually I was checking to make
sure my clothes were on! They were, even the T-
shirt, which is how I figure where I started like,
trancing. God it was so real, it was marvelous, and
hours later, ready for bed, I write this, and still
feel that mixture of humiliating pleasure and
release from reality. Ever dream where you broke a
leg and woke up with a hurt knee? As I write this,
I’m eating Chocolate Mint ice cream. I’m finding
swallowing difficult, as my tongue is rather sore.