Entry 124 The bedroom visitor
MC, d/s, md

Diary,
   I told Mister know-it-all therapist that I was no longer
working at the dance club, and had thrown away the outfits
and jewelry I wear when “stripping”, erotic performing,
whatever. He doesn’t get it anyways. I get more out of one
night there, learning about myself and people and all, then
a whole year of his “and how does that make you feel?” crud.
   I know this is days after that whole thing outside, but I
had a dream similar to it, and if I told anyone, therapist,
counselor, anyone, I would sooooo be labeled a cracked egg!
OK here’s the dream:
 It started while I was lying on my bed, so I wasn’t really
sure when I fell asleep. Don’t you hate that, when like, you
dream you wake up, put your feet on the floor and step on a
scorpion, and then you really DO wake up? You’re like,
terrified to step on the floor right? OK. Well, I had been
reading in my bed, in my red satin jammies, lying like on my
right side on my elbow, facing the window, with my head
toward the pillow. I have to finish this stupid book on
Business Administration, and everytime I sit down to read it
I get hugely sleepy!
   Anyways, I was reading, and I thought I heard the door
close, so I looked over my shoulder, and the door was
closed, and there was clearly Nobody in the room and you
know who I mean by Nobody, Diary. He wasn’t there. I looked
back at my book, and leaned back down on my elbow, and I
swear I smelled cologne. This powerful fragrance, definitely
a man’s, was like as strong as the powder on my bra. By the
way, I’m out again. So anyways, I kinda just smelled it, and
I was thinking I might daydream about the cologne, but then,
it was like the bed sagged behind me! Like there was someone
on the bed. I just kinda waited, thinking something was
about to ruin my little daydream, and you know who I mean.
BUT, then I felt along my left arm, this brushing feeling,
and this weight, almost like an arm was coming around me
from behind. I even looked to see, it felt so real!
   There was nothing there, I felt definite fingers, large,
long, and fat, roam down over my left arm, onto my tummy.
The pinky was by my panty waistband, and the thumb was by my
ribs, and it was firmly caressing from my left hip to my
right, kind of up and down. It was definitely a man’s hand,
but there was nothing there. It would have been like a ghost
snake, except for the fingers, grasping and circling. I
remember thinking, “Ok, I tell this to anyone, I’m getting
seriously locked up!” So I reach over and pull my book to
me, and I went to lean over, kind of roll toward the book,
but I felt that hand pull against my belly, squeezing my air
out. As it pulled, I felt warm hairy skin touching mine,
from the backs of my knees, up my thighs, the heat searing
through my white satin panties, a warm hairy chest pressing
against my back, and the wind of his breath on my left
shoulder and neck. The smell of his cologne was renewed, and
I was afraid to move, the feeling seemed so real. Hairy
knees and thighs were tickling me by lightly pressing
against me! But there was nobody there you know? I had to
make sure. I leaned back quickly, enough to knock someone to
the floor if they were behind me on the bed, and I kinda
felt something, but definitely not a person on the bed.
   I opened my book again, holding the pages by spanning my
fingers of my left hand across them right? I started to
read, and the page header I remember, said, SOFTWARE. I
started reading the first paragraph and the hand that
wasn’t, slowly oozed warmly down my left arm, till it got to
my fingers. Its fingers entwined (that’s sooo a perfect word
here) mine, and my arm and hand began sliding toward my
body, as if a person was pulling me into a full body hug.
God he felt warm. If you haven’t snuggled against a cozy
warm body lately, you should. My arm came up to my chest,
and I felt his handmove up and off my hand, over my shoulder
along the bra strap, and my neck. I felt squeezing along my
neck and shoulders, and I don’t know how long I just laid
there, getting a ghostly massage. My shoulders, my scalp, my
hair being pulled lightly, God I melted.
   I opened my eyes when I  heard kinda like whispering. The
feeling of massaging along my shoulders was very light, so I
looked down at my book, and leaning back against the warm
hairyness, but not so hard I fell through it, I started to
relax, and read again. I know it sounds weird, how could I
relax and enjoy what was clearly either like ESP stuff, or
insanity, right? But it’s like I knew it wasn’t real, so it
was ok, you know?
  I read the top of the page, and it totally said, SOFTWEAR,
and I was like, that’s sooo me! Wearing this like, softness
all over me. I started to read the first paragraph, and I
knew the first line was like, “You have a choice of
thousands of peripherals,,” but I could barely read it, it
was like almost impossible to make out, like Chinese
characters. I blinked and stared again, even getting closer
to the book, and I felt this flopping, and my bra was on the
comforter. I thought, ‘huh, how weird,’ like I was in a
daze, then the most amazingly skilled hands I’ve ever felt (
so they couldn’t be real) came around and under my arms, and
rubbed along the red mark the underwire digs into me. The
hands circled up along my cleavage, and then cupping my
breasts, the fingers pressed and raked across my nipples,
pulling my boobs outward as they slowly slid over them. I
watched and I could actually see my breasts moving, first
outward, then in circles as the invisible hands began to
knead and roll, pinch and massage and scratch. I squeezed my
arms down against my ribs and I didn’t really feel arms
there, it was so odd. My book was now a foot away somehow so
I half slid, half rolled over to it, hovering over it. I
opened the book, my face like a foot from it, and the page I
swear said UNDERWEAR.
   I raised my eyebrows, and even that felt like a struggle.
I was so tired. I was so warm, and tired Diary, kinda like
running underwater, I can’t describe it. But, I was also so
turned on too, it was like I was trying to make my body not
feel and do what it clearly was enjoying feeling and doing.
   A pressure, maybe a hand, or a leg, I don’t know, pushed
my right hip and I was sort of on my knees and elbows,
crouched over my book. I figured I’d just read, but the
first line was impossible to read now, like another
language! I stared at it, and then this slipping started
going on- my undies down my butt! I sat up straight and
grabbed them with my hands!
   They had made it to like midthigh, I swear, and then it
was like there was this whispering, and without any like,
force or anything, I felt my hands lift up off my panties
and they hit the hairy front thighs of the invisible man! I
gripped the thighs, and boy were they muscular. Just as I
started to push off them, These ghostly hands were doing
their magical massage on my mammaries, and I like froze in
place, leaning kind of back against nothing, but kind of
like a man’s chest. God it’s confusing. When I read this ten
years from now, I hope I understand this. Good luck Wendy!
   I remember yawning, and then my head was on my pillow and
I was laying flat against my comforter, my books cold edges
just to my left. I was looking right, at my desk and vanity
dresser, and I could see me in the mirror, but there was
clearly noone else there. I got sooooo horny instantly,
feeling like, safe, but also played with, you know?
   I felt something combing thru my hair, and then combing
along my scalp, and Oh God does that relax me, as if I
needed more. I heard then, like pages turning, or
whispering. I am pretty sure it was like barely audible
whispering. I felt the band of my panties sliding down,
under my knees, down my calves, then over my heels. I never
heard them hit the floor though I don’t think, so it was a
dream. Cool air on my rump felt real though!
   When these strong hands grasped my hips, and tugged, I
just felt like lead. Suddenly I was sitting up, on all fours
kinda, and I was so tired I could barely keep my head up,
but I was so aroused I was like seconds from orgasm! My hair
was being tugged and my head was being pulled back, and I
guess that made me lean back. I felt definitely, the smooth
hot tip of a penis, against my thigh. I could hear like, the
sound of horseshoes clopping on brick, and then the penis
slid to the side and hit exactly where it wanted, and I was
so incredibly wet, it had like, no resistance at all, except
for its width, which was pretty girthy.
   My mouth was hanging open, and I didn’t care. This huge
chubby penis slipped inside me, and kept going, and going,
till it must have been by my stomach. I felt my tummy and my
canal stretching, and it was pressing my thighs open. Then
it started sliding out, and OH GOD I was going to explode. I
think it was the whispers that stopped me, and then I felt
this hand under my tummy, and it pressed against my belly,
opposite where his huge shaft was. That was like way too
intense and my body shuddered, but no explosion. He was
pulling on my hair, and I sat up, and I felt like, I was so
good for sitting up, and then it rammed into me and then
out, and the hair was like this leash, and he’d pull and I
would impale myself, then he’d release and I would slide
slowly off him, but then he’d pull and back I would rock,
taking all of him with this sloppy gushy noise, totally not
caring anymore about dreams or ghosts, or that stupid book I
couldn’t even read.
   The hand under me slid up to between my breasts and
lifted, and I was sitting up. I thought, I shouldn’t be
sitting up, but I don’t know why. Then a second later I was
back on my face, on my pillow. There was a rough choking
feeling, and the smell of leather, and a definite cool strap
on my back and butt. It lifted as he pulled, and the collar
he placed on my neck gagged me. I sat up quickly like I was
supposed to, and then his huge hands were groping my butt. I
just sat there Diary, as he widened my opening, and slipped
back inside, like all ten feet of him! (ok, like a foot!) I
just sat there while he whispered, my body shivering as I
wrestled with how I could have a collar on, but not really,
be impaled but not, and then I got this SWAT on my right
buttcheek and I just leaned back into him and then like a
machine, I was forward, back, in-out, in-out,  rocking and
making that sloppy noise, and his hand under me peeling my
puffy skin away, and GOD when he hit the spot with his
fingers and pressed and kinda wiggled as I rocked, I was
just gone. I was flowing down my legs and shaking, and my
breath came in shuddered gasps. I moaned so loud anyone in
the house would’ve heard me. He started thrusting harder and
harder and I could tell he was about to cum inside me and I
don’t like that you know, and it made me nervous but then I
noticed my breasts were rubbing the comforter as I rocked
and they were so taut and sensitive I started to lift them
up off the bed and then it was like, why? Oh my God it felt
so good, like the leather glove thing at Diane’s pool party
and at the club stageshow. I heard this sound, like a horse
at a gallop, and it was like, me, like my body was making
it, as I rocked onto him and off, and he pulled on my collar
and slammed it even harder every time. It was like he was
penetrating my body, deeply, like penetrating my soul. And
my body was making all that sucking noise like it wanted
nothing more out of life, like my creation, my purpose, was
being completely fulfilled in that moment in time and space,
and I was seconds from orgasm. His hand (the one not on my
spot) grabbed my boob and started squeezing the nipple.
   That was it. I moaned again and just started swinging my
head, sweat going everywhere. He was pulling all the strings
and I didn’t care anymore. I knew he was about to cum inside
me and it was like, that’s my purpose right? And then he
slapped my butt again, and I just started wriggling left and
right, as I rocked. I leaned, and wriggled, and tipped my
pelvis so it would squeeze on him as I rocked him in and
out, I was going to give him the best ride of his life! His
boob hand lifted me upright, and his labia hand pressed me
back against his sweaty body, even as it combed my matted
hair and drove my body to shudders. As it touched my
clitoris and spoke to it, it obeyed.
   I don’t know how long I was there, upright, excited
beyond reason, his perspiration, saliva and love fluids
mixing with mine. I started screaming “YES! GOD YES!” and
then I was On all fours for him again, and He gripped my
hips very hard. He pounded deep into me, and I felt his
heat, his seed, expand my insides and trigger my orgasm at
last.
   I was rocking on my bed, mumbling
“yes,,,yes,,,god,,oh,,,” I don’t know how long later. I
rolled onto the floor, and walked to the bathroom. I drew a
hot bath, I walked downstairs and got a bottle of  Firelands
Concord wine, and had trouble carrying it and a glass back
up- oh. All the walking I had done since my dream, I had
done on all fours. I took off my collar and soaked for I
don’t know, maybe an hour, sipping wine and reliving every
shudder and gasp. I hope when I read this, I will remember
and shudder again.