The Decay of the Day “But how can I be a lover, when I am such a hater?” The blunt question rang in his head. The seemingly bright light of night was strong enough even to penetrate his nerves and dig deep, making his body strain, and his eyes ached, even when he closed them. The spectral swirls stood behind him again, he could tell. That faint glimmer of light that hurt his eyes was no trick of the alcohol, and no manifestation of his ever failing imagination. The streetlight above him burned out suddenly, and he felt, for the first time in a long time, his shoulder kiss the shoulder of the familiar passing figure. He was drunk enough that it had come back to haunt him. His sober reality of the past was a drunken fantasy. Fear struck as he remembered sins he was supposed to be ignorant of, as he remembered both the heights that he had risen to, and the pathetic depths to which he had allowed himself. “You’re supposed to be imaginary,” he said insistently. The light turned to darkness; a shadow. For moments they stared at each other. Tony gazed into where he thought the eyes were in that black void. He couldn’t decide if the being had come from inside of him, or merely somewhere behind him. His grief for his life transcended any animosity or doubts over the figure’s reality. He had to confront it. “Sometimes,” he said, “I just want a kiss, you see” Gently the figure bent forward. And his lips touched the mist of the morning. He found himself alone again. In a world full of shadows. Shadows that only appear when you see the light. “But never… from you,” … “I’m not just a little girl, Daddy…” At that moment he knew, that it had gone on too long. She was right. She wasn’t just any little girl. After all, “just” wasn’t a word that he could use with her. She was his girlfriend. His daughter. His best friend. His everything. Such petty, dogmatic reasons existed to stop this, but in his mind none of them really mattered. In the mind of a little girl, reasoning was muted by a lethal combination of logic and feeling. How could he give up his everything. He had never thought his entire body of feeling could depend on this one thing, this girl, but in reality, she wasn’t one. She was many. He couldn’t have brought her with him this long, only to drop her and tell her that everything that she did, everything they did was wrong. “R-remember all that stuff you said? About love… I-I’m not too young…” In this blurry world, it was so hard for him to tell logic from his own selfishness. She was wedged up against him, sitting on the bed wearing her little silk nightie. She seemed so poor and dejected. She looked at him with big brown eyes, and touched her head to his shoulder, nearly sniffling. He couldn’t tell her he had been lying. Especially when he hadn’t. This was killing him. She reached out for a kiss from him with her lips. He didn’t resist. “I-it’s ok that you’re a drunk daddy… cause you never hurt me,” He sighed. He rubbed her waist gently. She was so soft. So sweet against his flesh. “Y-you never hurt me. We have a good life. We have so much fun. T-the foster homes… didn’t care about me. You were the only one who asked me first… if I wanted to live with you. I love you,” Even the breath that came with those words was sweet and warm. “I-I love you,” She said, as if he hadn’t heard the first time. “I-I like the things we do in bed too. The way you touch me… it’s, it’s so nice… And your penis. You’ve got a beautiful penis daddy… I like it when you touch me with it… and I know you like it too…” He sniffed her collarbone, and she turned her head to nuzzle him. He cradled her cheek in his hand, and they kissed. His other hand wandered down to her leg, it was so soft and he couldn’t resist caressing it, and moving his hand to the inside. A tiny little doll… “Can we cuddle tonight? You don’t even have to do it with me if you don’t want… we can just cuddle,” Her words were so close to begging. Her eyes too close to tearing. She was taking this better than he was. He flipped her onto his chest gently. “o-oh… Daddy,” He gave her a deep kiss, that she melted into. Then he tossed her gently onto her back next to him, on the bed. She was a pile of limbs. He scooped her up and sorted the limbs out with his hands, and climbed on top of her. Her eyes were huge, as he was so tight to her… He gave her another empassioned kiss, that she savored, and moaned gently through. Then, her heart racing, she felt him lick her chin, and her neck, and her chest… all the way down, until he had pulled down her nightie and was sucking on her nipple. He hated and loved himself. There was such suicide in love. … She whispered to her friend, in a naughty hushed tone, somehow rising above the noise of the cafeteria. “I tasted his weenie,” she giggled forcefully. Stacy smacked her hand to her mouth slowly in disbelief, her eyes platters. Her friend Jess looked satisfied, and continued to stare frankly at her, pleased at the shock that consumed the room, or at least their little corner of it. “o… oh my god…” There was silence. A comfortable pause as everyone sorted their feelings. The shy girl spoke up. “…Jessica… w-why?” gulped Mia. Mia was sweating just thinking about it, and she didn’t even know why. She was just imagining it. Her handsome dad, luring his daughter into bed, both with guilty, horrible smiles on their faces… and her pulling the covers over her head, and sucking on… whatever a penis looked like, as he fondled her in horrible ways. It made her sweat in a place she had never sweat before, and she wondered if she was going to have to go to the bathroom to stop it. Jessica tilted her head cutely. “Cause… it tasted yummy, and Daddy really liked it…” “H-how did it taste!” was the near shout from Stacy, who now couldn’t get information fast enough. “Well,” she smiled smugly, “It tasted good… salty a bit. Just like sucking on his finger, but bigger… I put the head in my mouth, and sucked and licked, until he told me to touch it in a certain way, and all of a sudden… stuff came out,” “Did pee come out?” asked Stacy “Wee wees… have a head? Like, a person?” asked Mia in a bemused way. Stacy remained patient, and addressed her friend’s questions one on one. “No, Stacy… it wasn’t pee. It was something different. It was thick, and creamy, and white. It tasted like… salty milk,” She turned pleasantly to her other friend. “Heh, no Mia, not a head like a person. More like a snake… of course weenies have heads. The weeniehead is the only part I can fit in my mouth,” she said informatively. “Did… did he touch you?” Jess’ head slipped into a dreamworld. “Yeah,” she glanced out a window somewhere as she thought about it. “He touched me… It always feels so good when he touches me… He licked me… right up and down my privates… and all of a sudden I felt so…” This boggled Mia’s mind. “B-but he’s your Daddy!!?!” A dirty look spread across Jess’ face. “Yeah,” She had to leave. She ran away almost in tears. The other girls stood up and tried to chase after her, but were stopped by a cafeteria monitor who Mia managed to squeeze by, before running down the halls to the bathroom. She shut the door tight behind her, and rolled into a fetal ball. Her heart was racing so much… Mia was horrified by how turned on she was by this. She was supposed to be a good girl, and things like this weren’t supposed to make her feel this way. She blushed, and tried to get her bearings. She stood up again. She gulped. She looked in the mirror. She wasn’t as pretty as Jess. She was scrawnier than Jess, who had pretty long brown hair… where hers was deep black, and a bit wavy. Jess had such great fashion sense… Her dad got her such nice clothes. He was such a nice man… Even still it was hard to imagine him being that way with his daughter. She looked herself up and down in the mirror, and snorted. Tears almost came. Her parents still dressed her like a little kid. She was eight years old. She saw herself as such a pathetic being… too shy. Boys would never notice her that way. She started sobbing gently. She prayed, even though she had never prayed before. She crouched down, and sobbing, asked god that she should be touched that way… that she could have a wiener in her mouth, just like her friend. Suddenly it struck her. She was right across from the boy’s bathroom… Maybe she could see a wiener there. … There wasn’t anyone in the hall here during lunchtime… All the monitors were out at recess now. She snuck slowly across the hall, her hard black shoes clicking against the linoleum, her pleated skirt flicking up in the wind. She flew through the door and found herself in a wonderland of odd, wall mounted toilets and graffiti. She was a bit nervous but strangely calm. It was quiet, the only thing she could hear was the mysterious echo which bounced off the tile, echoing nothing in particular. Eventually the drips of the leaky, brass faucets brought her pulse up, as she waited there for minutes and heard nothing but footsteps outside the door. Causing her endless anticipation and angst, which somehow added to her unconquerable horniness. She stood there erect and uncomfortably, waiting to show her best side to anyone who walked through the door. Her hands folded behind her back, a meek, shy look on her face. Her pulse raced as she heard the first set of doors to the bathroom open, and heard the soft footsteps. Through the frosted glass she saw his sillhoette. As he opened the second set of doors, he saw her in her entirety, her meek little figure, dainty and shy. The boy was taken aback, and his eyebrows closed in on his eyes. He squinted at her. She was beautiful. A bite sized little brown skinned beauty, with fine black hair, and a wonderful little body. He didn’t try to blink out the thoughts that populated his head, that most boys didn’t think of. There was a girl in here. The situation was too odd to do anything normal. He was maybe a little younger than her, probably a second grader. He was a bit shorter, but he was handsome, she thought. A head of semi spiky black hair, a dull sort of gray black. He had a fairly severe face for his age, and was probably a little small for his age too. He was cute, and he made Mia blush. She gulped and spoke first. “H-hi…” she looked at the tiles nervously, and covered her mouth gently with a hand. “The… girls bathroom is across the hall,” he said, not jumping to conclusions. “I… I know…” His stomach became uneasy, and he felt a lot of blood rush up to his ears… the things that always happened when he was around really pretty girls. There was an awkwardness in their speech and in their lack of speech. “W-why are you here then… if you’re not lost.” She couldn’t reply. As a matter of fact she started crying. He had a bewildered look on his face. He blinked and wondered what he ought to do. She seemed so weak. She felt his shadow near her, in cooled her hot nerves somehow, as she sobbed. She picked up her blouse, and cried into it. He couldn’t help but steal a look at her tummy. “Hey… what’s wrong…” he asked. A kind hand touched her shoulder, and she wished she could just hug him. She wished the politics of love could disappear, she wished that everything in the world would be seen at face value, for this one moment. She wouldn’t answer. “Hey… I guess you don’t have to go to the bathroom… so why don’t you wait for me to go, and we’ll go out to recess and play. Do you want that?” She glanced up at him for a split second and saw his smile. She nodded twice, but continued sobbing. She stood there petrified, with his back to him, as she heard the tinkling of him using one of those weird wall toilets. … Melissa saw Jess’ panties lying on top of a glass of water on his bedside table, next to a bottle of lube. “You’re sick, you know that,” Tony seemed to ignore her. “…I don’t even know why I have sex with you,” Melissa slowly got undressed for him, pulling her black tanktop off, her hair waterfalling back as she finally removed it over her head. Her large breasts flopped out in a white bra. He stared at her ice cold. She pulled down her short black skirt. She stared him down with a cold look on his face. In a way she was an angel for not telling anyone. In another way she was the devil, for secretly hating him for it. The truth was that she couldn’t help it. And she couldn’t blame the girl for not being able to resist the man. And he was a sick man. In the same sick way he had seduced her. He didn’t quite scowl at her. There was no cruelty, but there was conflict. “I… don’t know if I can do this,” She released her bra catch, squished her arms together, and let it fall to the ground. “Of course you can,” “I can’t this time Mel. Swear to god,” She sat down on the bed, impatient, crossed her arms and looked out the window. “You ALWAYS can, Tony. You’ve always been able to. …What’s wrong now. What’s there to possibly feel guilty about. You fuck your own adopted, 8 year old daughter. How can you possibly fel guilty about me,” Her breasts were grand in stature, and the shadows of sunlight were upon them. Her nipples were erect, and had a certain shine to them. He stared. He got nothing. “I’m guilty… of her, Mel,” Mel smacked a hand to her forehead. “Oh God…” There was no explaination necessary between them. As a matter of fact, in a sick way, Mel understood. Tony left his bedroom, and she was there alone. She dressed in privacy, the opposite of how she had undressed. Able to put on her clothes and disguise herself once again, in ways that he wouldn’t be able to decipher, in ways that would hide forever again the secrets that, in her nakedness, she’d told. He stood there with a gin and tonic. She took hers. It was dark in the apartment. The blaring sunlight outside was lost on this sordid hole for her. She hugged him. She cried into him. “…this is what I gotta do…” She left. And what a weak man he was. He’d been forced into this decision that he should have made before he had the chance to. For so long satisfying his own ego, for reasons he couldn’t imagine. But it was her now. His little girl. The only one he cried for. … On so many playgrounds are shipping containers. A surplus of which wound up in the US when the trade defecit shifted from North America to Asia’s favor. With nothing to ship back in those containers, they were used in schools. To house dodgeballs, and volleyball nets in the offseason. Usefully they take up a fair amount of surface area. And behind them could be found a young girl and her new friend. The recess bell rang. Neither of them cared. They’d been making out the whole time, shielded from the world. They’d kissed, and fondled, and she’d sucked his dick until he displayed a scary amount of pleasure. Like a static shock he made her jump. With every stroke to her breasts or thighs, a new and striking sensation swept her body. She squealed. Their selves were pressed close, joined by their sweat and moans. The smell of sex and the smell of grass permeated the ground around them. From her position on the ground she was blinded by the sun. Every touch really was a bit of magic. He loved her naked body. He loved her slimness, the fragility of her arms, the cute, gentle curves of her hairless, neat, private area. His hands felt made for the sensual arch of her back, and the rounded softness of her bottom. Their privates were hitting now as they bounced around in their lustful movements. The feeling of his prick on her, relinquishing and gaining control of her body, was too amazing for words. She was wet, and felt so dirty, but the sensation was so pure. She moaned lightly. “L-let’s try to get it in,” he said between gasps. “O-ok…” She gulped. This was amazing enough without penetration. The pressure of him squeezing his dick against her was enough to make her wild, she wquirmed even more. His dick pressed harder and harder against her pussy, and the small squeaks she gave off were inevitable. A delight to his ears. As was the expression she held, one of strain, restraint, and everything good about wrongness. It was imprinted in his head. That look, her adorable face, and the way her hair was tossled and glowed in the sun. The angle her pretty jaw held in relation to her collarbone. Her bare, naked chest. The cool, cute shoulders that taunted him despite being so near. He couldn’t think of what to do as he entered her, so he kissed her, and used his tongue just as was natural. She loved the heat, she loved the sweat. She sucked on it, and forgot about everything but sensation. It felt so great to her… her tiny pussy against his boy parts. But it wasn’t going anywhere. She was too tiny and tight. She just moaned and, after a while he got the feeling he was just hurting her with his increased effort. “A-are you ok?” He said tensely. “y-yeah,” she squeaked uncomfortably. He let off, eased himself off her gently, and crouched next to her naked body as she lay, as she lied there in the grass. She was panting like a cute little dog, out of breath, eyes closed. She laid her hands across her chest. “I… guess we can’t… do this yet,” There really wasn’t any disappointment in his voice, but still she felt guilty. He, however, definitely felt guilty. After she had sucked his dick for him and he had given her nothing back. He thought for a minute. “…come on. Let’s… let’s try this,” She opened her eyes a small squint to see what was going on, and they opened wide as she caught a glimpse of him hovering over her privates. His tongue first touched her pussy lightly, brushing her lips from bottom to top in a way that made her wiggle her hips. It was such a warm, luscious sensation, soft and amazing, like everything she had ever craved in life. He kept teasing her, perhaps inadvertently, likely though in a deviously purposeful way… as he seemed to have far more experience than her, an amazing amount. Finally he dove full into her, and she recoiled like a shotgun through her whole body. He carried on for hours, or maybe just minutes, as she clenched her fists and drew the shades of her eyes. … Dinner was always a nervous time for Mia. Then again, so was everything. Nervousness was her way. Though as she had found out today, sometimes she could overcome it and do great things with it. But still, she was nervous now. As lazy a lifestyle as Jess and Tony seemed to live, she was surprised that they even went through the motions to make dinner and have it at a certain time. Or maybe this was just an adopted schedule to please her and make her feel at home. Throughout the banter at the table, her contribution was nil but looking pretty, with her dazed expression and meek manner. Caused of course by the day’s events. So Tony of course liked this shy girl. She was fun to tell jokes at, as laughter seemed so forbidden and welcome to her at the same time, so shy and afraid to laugh. It was a cute laugh. He only wished the other cute, shy girl he had invited here had showed up. But no. He’d hurt her too much. She was too old to be cute. And definitely not shy anymore. Not at all. … She had to stop at the side of the road. Her fit of crying came suddenly. She couldn’t drive that way. Mel ran from her car in the twighlight, to the grassy shoulder of the road, crouched down, and cried. As she attempted to fathom just what she had lost today. She glanced back at her car after a few minutes, and wiped a tear out of her eye in order to see. To see the reason why she had disappeared for those seven years In the first place. What could she expect. Seven years gone. And she had never even told him why. She’d just barged right on into his life again… Somehow thinking that maybe she could shift her way back in. She still didn’t know how he’d handle it. The fact that he had a son. She wiped a tear from her eye, and clenched her teeth as she looked at the asphalt. A son. A son who was exactly like him. Waiting in the car patiently. A son with all the same pleasures and perversions. She sobbed. Just like his father would have, her son stepped out of the car and approached, his goal to comfort her. So much like the father he would never know. The father she had lost. She could never eat dinner with him. She was already late. She figured she could punk out tonight… Out of his life forever. And he wouldn’t even care. Though her son had seemed rather off today. Nervous, confused, a bit happy despite her state of sorrow. Came home late. Clothes all wrinkled. But what could he know about all this. Of his father, the boy would only know the same that he knew about himself. Well, he’d adopted a daughter now. She assumed that must have been how he felt about parenthood the whole time. … Mia still sat nervously at that table. Jess had gone to the other room for some obscure reason she hadn’t picked out, and she was left here, with that handsome man, who made her heart beat for some reason. He smirked madly at her, in a decadent way. “…So Jess tells me it was your first time with a boy today,” He said, as he almost sweetly rested a hand on his cheek. She jumped up, straightened up in shock and started to sweat. She couldn’t even look at him, only at his shirt. She had been seen. “Well…I think you… have some idea of what me and Jess do. So if you ever want that… well. We can go back there right now. Jess is getting ready as a matter of fact…” Shock filled her heart. Heaviness lay upon her, a distorted veil wreaked havoc on her vision as slowly, shaking she stood up. Instinctively, she took his hand, and he led her from the purple light of the sunset to the dark light of the room.