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My Story (Part 15) by Sharmila Sanyal

"Shona-di?" there was the obvious confounded question in his voice as he stood at the doorway looking at my face.  He was trying to assess the mood there, I suppose.

"Sanju...” I held his hand in mine and said, "... shouldn't be doing this." I felt a spasm low down, below my stomach even as I said that.

"No?" he said, "but... but...”

"Sanju, I am your big sister..." holding his hand was probably a mistake.  His warm and soft boyish hand was transfusing his excitement into my body and, in a panic, I became aware of my waning moral resolve.

"I... I know that... but we did it... this afternoon...” pleadingly he reminded me, "What changed suddenly?"  My eyes having had time to adjust to the darkness of the room, I could almost see the befuddled disappointment in his face.

"Nothing, really."

"Please, nobody will know, please!" Sanju pulled his hands and drew me closer, and I felt his erection against one of my thighs.  It had lost the rigidity somewhat — the result of his trip to the bathroom, I surmised — but was rigid enough to be holding the fabric of his pajamas up.

      Whom was I kidding? I was as horny as I have ever been and I needed to do it as much as my cousin.  Past and Present conspired in concert to shove Future into the path of an oncoming tempest.

       Standing at the doorway, I let go of his hands and hugged him close.  As I felt the heat from his rejuvenated manhood permeate me, my big-sisterly purpose and moral pang were blown away like dried leaves in that powerful hurricane.

      We closed and secured the door and stepped back to the bed. We lay down on the bed on our sides, his head resting on my right forearm.  The silence of the moist night, punctuated by the sound of wind gusting against the shaded verandah outside, added to the absurdity and the inevitability of the imminent act.

      Motionless, we lay there for several minutes: I, through a mental rehearsal and Sanju, I suppose, anxiously avoiding making any wrong move.

      As I heard his breathing get labored, I touched his erection from above the pajamas and said — finally — under my breath, "Take it out." The darkness inside the room served to enhance the sense of illicit adventure.

      He loosened the cord and I pushed the pajamas down.  I felt the rock-hard cock spring up and into my waiting hand.

"This way?" I asked, as I moved my fist back and forth along his warm cock.  The question was redundant, for his reaction to my operation was enough to make me proud.

"Nnnnng... yesss..." he responded by placing his face under my chin and nuzzling up.  My nipples ached to be touched.  The cave down below filled up unchecked.

      I let go of him momentarily and guided his hand to one of my breasts.  He cupped it in his palm, the coarse fabric of my maxi separating his skin from mine, and began massaging deftly as I resumed pleasuring him.  I gripped the hard rod with a little more vigor as my adolescent mate rubbed my erect nipples under his palm.  His proficiency in handling them, albeit with the fabric in between, amazed me.  But, I was in no state to dwell on my amazement.

      After a while, and without warning, Sanju let go of my breasts and, holding me in both arms, rolled me on my back, climbing on top of me at the same time.

      It took me by surprise and I had to let go of him as he slid down to start feasting on my breasts.  This time his freshness was apparent, as he clumsily tried to suck on my breasts through the fabric of my night-dress.  Then again, my own condition hardly allowed me to think about anything other than what he was doing to me.  All his fumbling did little to abate my arousal.  I helped myself by pulling open the front of my already unbuttoned maxi and exposing them at once.  Then, holding his head between my hands, I guided him to where his mouth was needed.  He pulled his head up slightly, and - supporting his torso on his elbows - gathered up my breasts in both hands.  His mouth descended on one of my nipples while he began gently tweaking the other between his fingers.  He was a quick study!

"Aaaaahhhhhhhh..." I cried out in delight as he rolled the erect nipple between his lips and ever so lightly bit down with his teeth.  I bucked my hips up and felt his erection nudge up between my thighs.  I spread them apart, allowing Sanju to place his cock on my lower belly.  He came down firmly with his cock and started to move back and forth.  I felt its rigid length along the slippery folds of my labia, its head hitting my mound in a hasty rhythm while he continued to titillate my stiff nipples.  My abdomen tightened and my mid section started responding... in a very slow rhythm.

"Oh... Shona-di... now... now?" he looked up and asked.

I froze.

"I'm not going to let you put it in, Sanju" with full comprehension of his unformed query, I found myself saying with some determination in my voice.  In light of that ebbing resolve of a few moments ago, the tone in my own voice surprised even me.

"Then?" he sounded disappointed, "I thought..." Sanju stopped his thrusts.

"No way, Sanju...” despite the denial, I myself was no less bewildered.  The intense excitement notwithstanding, I was once again — and suddenly — aware of my deep-rooted sense of morality.  I had, in my subconscious, carefully laid down the limit!

"But...” Sanju pulled his torso up some more and said, "I have some condoms." It sounded so vulgar, coming from him, and yet so very salacious...

"You... you naughty boy!" I bit my lip, trying to keep my brain from exploding, "Thought of everything... haven't you!" I said in a whisper as I took my hand between our bodies and held his cock again, "Where did you get them?" I couldn't picture him going up to the guy in the store and asking for rubbers.  Everybody in town knew him and his family.

"I had a friend of mine buy them and bring them over this evening."

"I see," I pulled at his cock and said, "and you told him what?"

"Nothing... really...” he said unconvincingly, "I didn't mention you, of course." That was a big relief!  I don't remember even wondering about the explanation that he might have had to extend to his "friend".  Come to think of it, I never really bothered to ask later!

"Never mind the condom," I said with a sort of nervous giggle, "you are not going to put it in... I am a virgin and I want to stay that way for my hubby." 

Well, maybe not clinically, but I was a virgin nonetheless.  I was, at that moment, thinking of Dipankar.  I suppose I had subconsciously decided that Dipu would be the first to enter me.

"OK," he said.  "Then... what do you want to do?" he asked after a slight pause and rolled off me, his cock, hard and throbbing, still in my hand.

      Good question!  I became aware that I really hadn't thought about it.  I knew I needed to have sex of some sort; and that I was there because I was horny about my adolescent cousin; and that I wanted to do "something" with him... but I had not thought about the basics!  At the same time, I was feeling the ever increasing heat between my legs as much as he was.  I needed to make a trip to the bathroom.

"I have to go...” I mumbled as I sat up.

"OK...” Sanju rolled over to his side, facing the wall and said, "go...”

A very dispirited tone!

"I'll be right back." No sooner did I say those words, that the tone in his voice alerted me to his misapprehension.  "Hey...” I leaned over to him and, grabbing his arm, rolled him flat on his back, "I am not going away... bathroom... I am going to the bathroom!" I couldn't help notice the once proud and hard manhood lying on its side across his thigh... somewhat deflated.

"Go wherever you want to go," Sanju said under his breath in a childish manner, reminding me — however fleetingly — of his adolescence.  He put an arm across his eyes, trying to hide his face from showing the emotion that his voice betrayed.  I could almost see him pout.

"So, you want me to leave?" I just couldn't let him be.  The urge to tease my handsome cousin was overpowering.

"I didn't say that," he mumbled, his face still hidden behind his arm.

"I said I need to go to the bathroom," I sat down again beside his half-naked form and touched his fallen member.  It responded almost immediately, and marveled me by regaining its full glory.  It stood up — as if in a slow motion — as rigidly as before while I held it in two fingers ever so gently.  My cunt throbbed violently.  As I gulped and took in the sight, the pressure on my bladder seemed too much for me to bear.  I exited the room as quietly as I could.

      I went and I washed without making too much splash.  I was dying to touch myself down there and get some relief, but I managed not to.  I felt much more in control with a freshly emptied bladder.  As I stepped out into the verandah, another bolt of lightning tore through the darkness of the night and startled me.  Once I regained my bearing, I looked up and smiled.  "You can't put out a fire with another fire," I murmured mischievously.

      Sanju was still lying flat on his back, as I had left him.  He had pulled his pajamas up to cover his nakedness.  Strange, this inherent human modesty!

"Why the shyness?" I turned the table lamp on and asked as I sat down beside him.

"No, not that," he said softly, "I felt funny lying naked like that." I found the old eagerly horny Sanju in that voice.

"I see," I said, unmindfully, as if to validate his modesty; and it also served to bridle my raging passion, helping me focus properly.  I needed to take control of my mind.

"You want the light on?" Sanju asked.

"I want to see this one," I whispered as I reached and lay a hand on his loin; the tips of my fingers touched the unmistakable warm flesh that quivered under the sheet.  I stroked it from above and it responded... languorous yet determined.

"Nnnnnggghhhh...” Sanju moaned as my hand moved along the length and woke it up to its full glory.  He placed one hand on mine that covered his heat, and gave a gentle squeeze... as if to acknowledge the sensation he received from my touch.

      I pulled the pajamas down to exposed it.  It looked as if the purple head was trying to force itself out from under the modest cover of the foreskin.  As I stared, Sanju's manhood twitched with a life of its own, as if it was able to 'feel' my stare.  I shifted my gaze to his face and found him staring at me... well, at my breasts, to be precise.  I smiled and reached again for his cock.  This time there was nothing between it and my hand.  I held it right below the head between my thumb and fingers.  The satin-smooth skin was hot.  I gently pulled the skin down — almost ceremoniously — and uncovered the head.  A little droplet of clear fluid oozed out through the slit.  My cave throbbed.

      I made a fist around his cock and started moving it up and down.  I bent it down over his stomach and — in my other hand — cupped his balls.  He let out another moan and more of his clear fluid dribbled out and on his stomach.

      I ached to have something up inside me.  I wanted to feel that thing down there, where the tunnel throbbed, and flowed, unchecked.  I pleasured him as I worked with both hands... with gentle strokes till he couldn't keep himself from making almost imperceptible thrusts with his pelvis.

"Wait a second," I whispered and let go of his cock and his balls.  I saw it jump and stand straight up.  It looked magnificent, and almost made me reverse my decision.  But, again, the Bengali morality and the "Big Sister" in me reaffirmed itself just in time... just enough... even as I lay down beside him.

"Ssshhhhhhh...” Sanju opened his eyes and hissed through his clenched teeth.

      As I saw him grab his erection in his own hand, I folded up my knees and drew the hem of the maxi up and to my waist.  I raised my hips slightly and pulled the garment up further.  Now naked below my waist, I reached down and touched myself... the clitoris was swollen and stiff from the excitement.  I let my fingers brush over it and lost control momentarily, crying out loudly in pleasure.  As I regained my senses I hoped that my voice didn't carry beyond the room.

"You OK, Shona-di?" Sanju sat up straight and asked with genuine concern in his voice.  Then he looked at my semi-nude form lying invitingly before him.  I actually felt sorry for denying him what would have been his first coital experience.

      The conflict, that was pulling my mind in two directions, is hard to recapitulate.  I am able to impart a host of rational explanations looking back; but no such logic, nor any rationale, governed my actions back then.  I behaved as if I had been through similar conditions before — a preprogrammed and instinctive response.

"Nothing...” I said under my breath.  I looked at him and again my body wanted him inside.  I took in his bare silhouette in the mischievously soft darkness of the room and the gushing cave between my open legs pulsated, sending a shiver up my belly and to my taut nipples.

"Come...” I invited him.

"You sure, Shona-di... ?" he sat up on his knees and I marveled again at the dark cock sticking out straight between his thighs.  Under his cock's shadow, I could make out the outline of his balls that nestled tightly at the base.  "I thought you didn't want to," he said (with a triumphant note, I thought) even as he moved on his knees between my thighs.

"Don't talk...” I stretched one of my arms between my legs and took hold of his cock.  The slippery exudate from its head wet my fingers.  As he leaned forward and placed his hands on either side of my chest, I kept my hold on his magnificence, keeping its crown towards my mound.  He slowly lowered his loin and hovered there in anticipation as the head of his cock touched the base of my pubic triangle...

"Yes...” he looked down between our legs and uttered eagerly.

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