Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Author: this guy
Title: The Alphabet of Women, A Tween Glossary
Summary: Satire of the sort of bad humor piece one might find in a
magazine geared towards tweenage girls
Keywords: humor
Date: 2_28_2017

   Disclaimer: This is a sexual fantasy.  The author does not advocate or
participate in underage sexual activities.  If you are offended by
pornography, for God's sake stop reading internet porn, you idiot.  If you
are underage and interested in sex, welcome to the human race.  This is a
fantasy, without consequences.  Real sex has consequences like pregnancy
(duh!), disease, and emotional devastation.  Don't ever let anybody talk
you into doing something you aren't ready for.  When you are old enough to
be ready, relish every minute.  But right now, get outta here, kid!  You
trying to get me in trouble?

   ➡️A better version of this story is available at The
Horniest Place on Earth web site (hosted by ASSTR).  It contains links to
related material and illustrations that aren't in this version.  Paste this
URL into your browser to go there:
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;

   ---

   Tween Magazine The Alphabet of Women, A Tween Glossary by `this guy'

   The following is a transcript of comedian Hugh Jass' high speed stand-up
routine "The Alphabet of Woman" submitted to Tween Magazine by his tweenage
daughter, Tina Jass.

   We all know women are amazing creatures...so amazing that they've got
more than one word for almost every letter of the alphabet...

   A-cup, ass, anal, active, ankle-bracelet

   B-cup, breasts, boobs, bitch, bitchy, bossy, bra, butt, bracelet,
beaver, bikini, busty, beautiful, blowjob...if you're lucky you might get
one of those

   C-cup, cup-size, cunt, cute, chunky, cheeks, collarbones, clit, cumslut,
cream-pie, cameltoe...that's a big one

   D-cup, double-D, ditz, date-able, douche, dress, diamonds, diamond ring,
daughter, divorce, deep-throat

   espadrille, easy, eye-liner, eye-lashes, eye-shadow, earing,
emasculating, ex

   fuck-hole, French kiss, freaky, flip-flops, foxy, feminazi

   girl, gal, gash, grunt, gasping, gold-digger, gift, G-string, g-spot,
girlfriend

   hot, hottie, high-heels, hooker, hens, honeymoon, hair

   insane, implants, irrational

   jezebel, jewelry

   kinky, kisses

   loose, loving, lips, lipstick, liposuction, Lolita, lesbian, luscious,
lover, lustful

   motor-mouth, mound, make-up, mother.  marriage

   no means no, no way, not tonight, nickers, nipples, nail polish

   obtuse, obsessive, orgasm

   pussy, pussy lips, penetration, PMS, panties, pantyhose, perfume,
pierced, present, pregnant, porn-star, psycho...sounds like it starts with
"s" but it really starts with "p"

   quiet...no that's not true

   ring, rim-job

   sexy, stunning, sensuous, stripper, streetwalker, sultry,
silent-treatment, skirt, sandals, shaved, sister, swallow

   twat, twit, tramp-stamp, tramp, tattoo, thong, tea-bagging,
topless...good luck getting that one

   up-tight, un-stable

   virgin...yeah right

   waxing, witch, wine, whine, wrong (as in what you are), whore, wife,
wedding

   xenophobic...they really are

   young, youthful, yammering-away

   zit cream



   ➡️A better version of this story is available at The
Horniest Place on Earth web site (hosted by ASSTR).  It contains links to
related material and illustrations that aren't in this version.  Paste this
URL into your browser to go there:
🔴/files/Authors/Sephy/www/index.html🔴

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