Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Author: this guy
Title: Ima Skinn-Nea's Fitness Advice
Summary: More great advice from Tween Magazine, this time on getting a
good workout.
Keywords: Tweens, Tweenage Magazine, Fitness
Date: 2_14_2017

   Disclaimer: This is a sexual fantasy.  The author does not advocate or
participate in underage sexual activities.  If you are offended by
pornography, for God's sake stop reading internet porn, you idiot.  If you
are underage and interested in sex, welcome to the human race.  This is a
fantasy, without consequences.  Real sex has consequences like pregnancy
(duh!), disease, and emotional devastation.  Don't ever let anybody talk
you into doing something you aren't ready for.  When you are old enough to
be ready, relish every minute.  But right now, get outta here, kid!  You
trying to get me in trouble?

   ---

   Tween Magazine Ima Skinn-Nea's Fitness Advice by `this guy'

   Every girl wants to stay thin.  While it is important to avoid
over-eating, burning the calories you consume is just as important.  So we
at Tween Magazine asked female fitness guru Ima Skinn-Nea to compose a list
of fun activities that will help a tweenage girl stay thin.

   Fitness activities are divided into three categories: cardio, strength
training, and finally body sculpting.

   CARDIO

   Typically cardio includes walking, running, cycling, climbing stairs,
cross-country skiing...  These are easy activities to do; the key is to
make them fun.  A few tips to try:

   Don't wear a bra if you are running, jogging, or stair stepping:
bouncing boobs will improve your workout.

   Wear all the jewelry you own: the extra weight will give you a better
workout.

   Be sure to wear bottoms that cradle your butt without underwear

   Make sure to avoid drinking too much water: no need to get all sweaty
and gross.

   STRENGTH TRAINING

   Typically involves weights or resistance bands...

   Try to lift as much weight as you possibly can.  If somebody tells you
its too heavy, tell them to go to hell...

   Always lift with your back: You don't want to hurt your knees.

   BODY SCULPTING

   Specific movement aimed at adjusting the shape of your body...

   Even if you decide not to do any cardio or strength training (they are
hard work after all), be sure to do plenty of body sculpting: guys notice a
properly sculpted butt and legs...

   Toe raises and pelvic thrusts are the most important activities you can
do as they sculpt your legs and butt.

   FINAL THOUGHTS

   Be sure to dress sexy when you work out: you never know what kind of
studly guys you might meet at the gym...  Ima Skinn-Nea's always wears a
skin-tight long-sleeve black latex body-stocking; and a pair of black shoes
with a six-inch stiletto heel when she works-out.

   Try smoking while you work-out: the appetite suppressant aspects of
nicotine will keep you from feeling hungry afterwards.

   Try drinking vodka instead of water during your work-out: a buzzed
work-out is a fun work-out.

   Never pull your hair back in a ponytail: it's distracting and annoying
having that thing flopping against your back.  Instead leave your hair
down; it will find the most convenient spot on your body for the particular
exercise you are doing and stay put.  [EDITOR'S NOTE: Loose hair is
beautiful, but remember that a pony tail is sure to make guys think about
oral sex.  You are thoughtfully providing him a handle.]

   Check out the ad for Double Strap by Sara Ann



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